Our brains are wired by early experience. We can build new wiring later on, but it's hard. When you know why it's hard, you know why we revert to old patterns, and what it takes to change them. Our brain learns from rewards, so you need to find healthy rewards to build healthy new pathways.
5. But we also hear tha
t
new neurons grow throughout life
.
How to reconcile these two views?
6. New neurons are not connected in useful ways. We fall
back on old “tricks” because the old neural pathways
are so well-developed. How to build new pathways?
7. Any old dog can do it when they
know how their brain works
9. 1. How YOUTH builds neural pathway
s
Neural pathways build easily whe
n
you’re young because you have a lot o
f
myelin- the substance that coats neuron
s
so they conduct electricity 100 times faster
.
Myelin is most abundant before age 8 and during puberty
,
so we build neural pathway easily during those years. We rely on
our myelinated pathways for life because they’re so ef
fi
cient
.
Alas, pathways built from the experiences of youth are never a
perfect guide to healthy choices, so we all need to update our
old pathways. Building new pathways is your superpower!
10. 2. How EMOTION builds neural pathways
Neurons connect when your brain is releasing cortisol,
dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, or endorphin. These
emotions are your brain’s signa
l
that the information is important.
The connections cause yo
u
to turn on that chemical faste
r
in similar future situations
.
A monkey
fi
nds food and avoids predators without abstract
cognition because past reward and threat chemicals wired
it to repeat behaviors that got rewards or relieved threats
before. Monkeys rarely update these responses.
11. 3. How REPETITION builds neural pathway
s
Synapses grow ef
fi
cien
t
with repeated activation
.
But it’s hard to repeat an activit
y
when it’s not supported b
y
myelinization or reward chemicals
.
Repetition is UN - FUN
.
How can you get yourself to do it?
19. Semantics of “reward
”
#
1
I use it to refer not to what society de
fi
nes as a reward or what genetics
de
fi
nes as a reward, but to the reward chemicals actually released in
your unique brain as wired by your unique experience, which includes
the social rewards you experienced in youth
Examples:
It’s only a reward if it has a positive
association is your unique brain
:
the beach? the park? cooking?
guitar? yoga? a novel? a movie?
“a cookie”
20. Semantics of “reward
”
#
2
The biggest reward from you
r
brain’s perspective is
relief from perceived threat
— We de
fi
ne threat with neural pathways
paved by past cortisol (your unique past)
— Distraction relieves threat in the human cortex
— Whatever distracted you from cortisol in
your youth triggers a rewarding feeling today
21. Examples
:
- When a gazelle smells a lion,
it
fi
nds an escape path
and then goes back to
enjoying the grass
.
- When a human gets a whiff of a threat,
we augment it with our huge cortex, and
then rush to the happy habit we learned
in youth without conscious intent.
22. Distraction triggers the great
feeling o
f
relief from threat
,
which wires in
a
positive associatio
n
for whateve
r
distracted you.
23. You can wire in a new happy
habit by using reward learning
24. 1. Break the target behavior
into small chunk
s
2. Reward each chun
k
3. Repeat
Rewire Yourself in 3 Steps
25. 1. Break the target behavior
into small chunks
Skinner’s pigeons
learned to spin in a circle
without knowing what a
circle is. They were
rewarded for turning
their head to the right
,
so they kept turning!
26. 2. Reward each chunk
• The reward must be
immediate to link up to
the desired behavio
r
• But how can you
reward a dolphin while
it’s in the air
?
• Karen Pryor developed
“clicker training”
31. • Trying to activate a new pathway is like looking for
a word in a foreign language.
• In your native language, the word comes
effortlessly because you built that pathway in your
myelin years
.
• Your emotions got wired like your native language
32. It’s so hard that you feel like you’re wrong
,
even when you’re right
It takes a lot of energy to send electricity down an
undeveloped neural pathway
33. • Activating a new neural pathway is as hard as
slashing a new trail in the rainforest
.
• After all that work, the trail grows overs
so it’s hard the next time too
.
• You’re’ tempted to just take the old road.
34. But if you slash th
e
same trail every day
,
a new path gets established
35. You can blaze a
new trail
through your
jungle of
neurons if you
repeat a new
thought or
behavior every
day without fail.
It won’t be a
super-highway
but it’s enough.
37. 1. Break the desired behavior
into small chunks
Babo decides to spend an hour a day listening
to audiobooks on communication skills
Babo decides to spend 5 minutes each morning
and evening designing new ways to express
herself at home and at wor
k
Babo commits to expressing herself
authentically while respecting others once a day
38. Babo lists healthy ways to reward herself
each time she acts on her plan
She decides to give herself 10 min. of
guitar or reading a novel or eat 1/4 of a
brownie each time she meets goa
l
The reward creates a good feeling, which
wires in the expectation of a good feeling
after the goal work is done
2. Reward each chunk
39. Babo knows that the the new behavior will feel
awkward and even dangerous at
fi
rst, because old
wiring is so ef
fi
cien
t
Babo knows that it takes a lot of energy to
activate a new neural pathway, so she saves her
energy for this purpos
e
Babo knows that it will get easier each time
because connections build with repetition
3. Repeat
40. Ori wants to wire in a new
“happy habit” to replace an
unhealthy habit from his past
41. 1. Break the desired behavior
into small chunks
Ori learns to notice his threatened feelings by
stopping to look for them for 1 min., 3 times a da
y
Ori lists healthy feel-good activities that he can
turn to in bad moments to teach his brain to shift
from bad feelings to good feeling
s
Ori commits to 20 min. of a feel-good activity
(to give his cortisol time to metabolize) followed
by 1 min. of effective action, once each day
42. Ori decides to reward himself with 15
min. of chatting with a friend, watching
a movie, or sketching, each time he
accomplishes his daily goa
l
The reward builds positive associations
for the new happy habit, even as the old
happy habit feels more desirable
2. Reward each chunk
43. Ori sets a goal of repeating his new habit
every day for 45 days in a row without fail
Ori is relieved to know that everyone
fi
nds it
hard to activate new neural pathways because
electricity doesn’t
fl
ow there easil
y
Ori experiments with alternative rewards so
they continue to feel rewarding without
harmful consequences
3. Repeat
44. You can wire yourself to feel good
in ways that are good for you
45. You will give your electricit
y
a new place to
fl
ow