The document discusses two contests held by The Washington Post. The first asks readers to submit new definitions for existing words. Examples given include "coffee" meaning the person one coughs on and "flabbergasted" meaning appalled by weight gain. The second contest asks readers to alter a word by changing one letter and provide a new definition, such as "bozone" meaning the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas or "dopeler effect" referring to stupid ideas seeming smarter when rapid.