This document compares common behaviors and perspectives of men and women across various topics such as handwriting, grocery shopping, relationships, foreplay, maturity, magazines, bathrooms, shoes, children, dressing up, laundry, eating out, mirrors, menopause, phones, Richard Gere, toys, cameras, locker rooms, movies, conversation, and restrooms. In general, it suggests that men and women approach these everyday situations and tasks quite differently.

1. MEN V/S
WOMEN

2. Men : To their credit, men do not decorate their
penmanship. They just chicken-scratch.
Women : Women use scented, colored stationery
and they dot the "i" with circles or hearts. Women
use ridiculously large loops in the "b" and "g". It
is a pain to read a note from a woman. Even when
she's dumping you, she will put a smiley face at the
end of the note.
Handwriting

3. Women : A woman makes a list of things she
needs, then goes out to the store and buys those
things.
Men : A man waits till the only items left in his
fridge are half a lime and a beer. Then he goes
grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks
good. By the time a man reaches the checkout
counter, his cart is packed tight. Of course, this
will not stop him from going to the express lane.
Groceries

4. Women : When a relationship ends, a woman will
cry and pour her heart out, and she will write a
poem "All Men Are Idiots". Then she moves on.
Men : A six months after the break-up, he will
call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you
ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I
hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want
you to know that there's always a chance for us."
This is known as the "I Hate You / I Love You"
phone call, that 99% of all men have made.
Relationships

5. Women: They prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay.
Men : They prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay.
Men consider driving back to her place part of
the foreplay
Foreplay …….

6. Women: They mature much faster than men. Most
17-year old females can function as adults.
Men: Most 17-year old males are still trading
baseball cards and giving each other wedges after
gym class. This is why high school romances
rarely work out.
Maturity

7. Men: Men's magazines often feature pictures of
naked women. Men are turned on at the sight of a
naked woman's body.
Women: Women's magazines also feature pictures
of naked women. This is because the female body
is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is
lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the
light of day. Most naked men elicit laughter from
women.
Magazines

8. Men: A man has six items in his bathroom -- a
toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial
soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
Women: The average number of items in the
typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man cannot
identify most of these items.
Bathrooms

9. Women : When preparing for work, a woman will
put on a wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers.
She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag
from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will
put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will
kick them off because her feet are under the desk.
Men: A man will wear the same pair of shoes all
day. Let's not talk about how many days he'll
wear the same socks.
Shoes

10. Women: A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and soccer
games and romances and best friends and favorite
foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
Men: A man is vaguely aware of some short
people living in the house.
Children

11. Women: A woman will dress up to: go shopping,
water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the
phone, read a book, get the mail.
Men: A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals
Dressing Up

12. Women: Women do laundry every couple of days.
Men: A man will wear every article of clothing he
owns, including his surgical pants (the ones that
were hip about eight years ago) before he will do his
laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will
wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, and take his
mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men
always expect to meet beautiful women at the
Laundromat.
Laundry

13. Men: When the check comes, each man will each
throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50.
None of them will have anything smaller, and none
will actually admit they want change back.
Women: When the girls get their check, out come the
pocket calculators.
Eating Out

14. Men: Men are vain and will check themselves out in
a mirror.
Women: They are ridiculous; they will check out
their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors,
spoons, store windows bald guys' heads.
Mirrors

15. Women: When a woman reaches menopause, she
goes through a variety of complicated emotional,
psychological, and biological changes. The nature
and degree of these changes varies with the
individual.
Men: Menopause in a man provokes a uniform
reaction - he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French
cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping
for a Porsche.
Menopause

16. Men: Men see the telephone as a communication
tool. They use the telephone to send short
messages to other people.
Women: A woman can visit her girlfriend for two
weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the
same friend and they will talk for three hours.
The Phone

17. Women: Women like Richard Gere because he is
sexy in a dangerous way.
Men: Men hate Richard Gere because he
reminds them of that slick guy who works at the
health club and dates only married women.
Richard Gere

18. Women: Little girls love to play with toys. Then at
the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest.
Men: Men as they get older, their toys simply
become more expensive, silly and impractical.
Examples of men's toys: little miniature TVs. Car
phones. Complicated juicers and blenders.
Graphic equalizers. Small robots that serve
cocktails on command. Video games. Anything
that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 "D"
batteries to operate
Toys

19. Men: Men take photography very seriously. They'll
shell out $4000 for state of the art equipment, and
build dark rooms and take photography classes.
Women: Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of
course, women always end up taking better
pictures.
Cameras

20. Men: In the locker room men talk about three things:
money, football, and women. They exaggerate
about money, they don't know football nearly as
well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories
about women.
Women: They talk about one thing in the locker
room - sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They
are extremely graphic and technical, and they never
lie.
Locker Rooms

21. Women: Every actress in the history of movies has
had to do a nude scene. This is because every
movie in the history of movies has been produced
by a man.
Men: The only actor who has ever appeared nude
in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another
reason why men hate him
Movies

22. Men: Men need a good disagreement to get talking.
For instance, "Wow, great movie." or "What are
you, nuts? No REAL cop would have an Uzi that
size.“
Women: Women, not having this problem, try to
initiate conversations with men by saying
something agreeable: "That garden by the
roadside looks lovely." "Mm hmm." Pause. "That
was a good restaurant last night, wasn't it?"
"Yeah." And so on
Conversation

23. Women: Women use restrooms as social lounges.
Women who've never met will leave a restroom
giggling together like old friends. Women also go
to the restroom in packs, at least two women at a
time.
Men: Men use restrooms for purely biological
reasons and never speak a word to each other.
Never in history , a man excused himself from a
restaurant table by saying, "Hey, Tom, I was just
about to take a leak. Do you want to join me?"
Restrooms