1. final examempower
110 maskmatters.org SUMMER 2016
“...I could probably
get away with a
lot of things, but
instead of taking
advantage of it, I
actually followed the
rules.”

2. SUMMER 2016 maskmatters.org 111PHOTOGRAPHY Greggo Photography
B
oundaries were never a huge part of my childhood. My
parents seemed to have their hands full with my other
siblings and life in general to really worry about me.
It’s interesting that even though my siblings
and I grew up in the same household, our
experiences with boundaries—including how they shaped
us to be the people we are today—were very different.
In my family, I have two older sisters, Janie and Kellie, then
me, and then my younger brother Paul. My family and I lived in
California until we moved to Arizona in 2006, about the same
time as my parent’s divorce. Like any divorce, it was relatively
messy, but they did the best they could to keep things between
themselves. Janie and Kellie were a few years older than me, so they
understood what was going on a lot more than Paul and I did.
During this time, my parents were strict. But not with me.
Janie and Kellie got the worst of it. My parents made sure they
were home by curfew, they knew where they were at all times, and
they constantly asked questions. My sisters were always getting
into trouble, and between the two of them, there was a restraining
order, a suspension and an arrest.There was always something.
Then there was my younger brother, Paul. He was reckless, the
rebel of the family. He wouldn’t show up to school, started doing
drugs, and got into a bad crowd at a young age. Like I said, my
parents had their hands full.
When it came to me, however, my parents had very few rules:
Bring home an A every once in awhile, participate in sports, and
always check in with them. I had a feeling that with so much on my
parents’ plate, I could probably get away with a lot of things. But
instead of taking advantage of it, I actually followed the rules. I saw
Janie, Kellie and Paul spiral out of control and I wanted no part of
that. I wanted to be the kid that my parents were proud of. So that’s
what I became.
WITHOUT
BORDERSBy // Lillian Simpson

3. I’M
not a saint, though. I did my
fair share of sneaking around
and lied a few times to my
parents about where I was going. But
compared to my siblings, I was perfect!
Looking back, I think that’s why I never did
anything wrong. I didn’t want to let my parents
down.
So while I would bend the rules a little,
I’d never break them. I brought home As and
academic achievement awards from school.
I played volleyball, soccer and tennis, and still
had time for student council. I had a good social
life and chose my friends well. Eventually, they
put me on a pedestal and I never wanted to get
off. By the time college came around, I received
a full ride to Arizona State University for a
degree in broadcast journalism.
Now I’m 21 and about to graduate with
two internships and on-air reporting experience
on my resume, and I think it was all because
they gave me the freedom to make my own
decisions.They gave me a choice.
I saw everything from the
punishments my siblings received
to the stress it caused my parents.
I decided I didn’t want that.
I like the feeling I get when my
parents talk about my success
and how they love the person
I am growing up to be.
As for my siblings, they
turned out fine. Janie is a few
months clean and is choosing to start her life
over for the better. Kellie moved to Portland,
where she gave birth to my beautiful niece and
finished college. Paul had a few rough years and
ended up living with my aunt in New York, but
he graduated high school on time and is living
in L.A. studying audio engineering.
So, no, my parents didn’t have many rules
for me.They put me in the driver’s seat of my
own destiny and had faith I’d steer in the right
direction. And I owe them everything for that.
112 maskmatters.org SUMMER 2016
final examempower
“[My parents] put
me in the driver’s
seat of my destiny
and had faith I’d
steer in the right
direction.”