Laura GarciaInstructor: Paul S RandakPSY 101012/4/2012 Family Structure The meaning of family structure is the legal and genetic relationships amongrelatives living in the same home; including nuclear family, extended family orstepfamily. The structure family in the U.S. is divided into three types, the two- parentfamily, the one-parent family, and other family types which are special cases. However,each type of structure is subdivided into several categories. A family provides stabilityand harmony to a child as well as providing help to learn and develop themselves.Therefore, at this time I will be talking about my family structure, how this structureaffected my life, and the changes that I can see on a daily bases. My mom came from a dysfunctional family with several problems and abuse fromher father. When my mom was 16 years old she found out she was pregnant, whichbrought many problems to her life. My grandfather kicked her out of the house, and forthe first time she had to live in the real world by herself. Moreover, my dad being anadolescent too, was afraid to leave his house, and his normal life, and so he left mymom alone throughout her pregnancy. When I was born my dad finally decided to move in with my mom, but after a fewmonths my mom started experiencing physical and emotional abuse from my dad, butmy mother felt that she had to keep strong throughout the abuse, because that was alifestyle she had lived since she was little and was something normal to her, and for the
same reason I experienced for the first nine years of my life, my father abusing mymother, and even though I was really young those memories have stuck with me, but onthe other hand my mother and I were really close with my uncle and aunt; as well as,my grandmother, and that always helped us to keep ourselves strong during roughtimes . This explains that whatever the family situation, it will have tremendous influenceupon the person’s happiness, development, and future. When I was seven years old my brother was born and a few months after hisbirth my mom and dad decided to get married, but it only lasted for two years, and theygot divorced. After a divorce it is important to maintain a relationship with the ex-spouseto coordinate visitation, also it is important not to say anything negative about the ex-spouse to the kids, so they can create a strong relationship with both parents. However,it was hard to keep a relationship with my dad; because the communication between mymom and my dad was short, and I really didn’t feel the impact of not having my fatheraround until a couple of years later when my mom moved in with a new person. This new stage in my mother’s life changed my life completely; although, hedidn’t abuse my mom, he abused me emotionally. For example, he used to buy gifts formy brother and not for me, during dinner time I couldn’t eat at the table with everyoneand had to eat in the kitchen by myself, and they used to go on trips and would leaveme home with a babysitter, and therefore this emotional abuse changed my attitude in avery negative way. I was a completely different person after being a sweet nice little girl;I became aggressive, a rebel, and my grades at school went down, and because ofthose changes that this new man brought, my mom started punishing me physically,which resulted in the end of our relationship.
Children with structured families tend to have greater academic achievement andare less likely to have problems in school, but children with divorced parents all under“the greatest risk” because of the bad results ether at school or later on in life. As well,moving to a several places, changing of schools, and having a new born at home cancause instability and confusion in the child. Moreover, when I started my adolescentstage, life got even worse, and even though my mom had a new relationship my attitudenever changed back to normal, and I got worse with time which made my mom evenstricter and the physical abuse even more severe. In addition, throughout my teenage years, I did really badly in school, so bad thatI got expelled from two schools. I also started smoking and drinking and with this, leftmy brother and my family a side, I had this same attitude for a couple of years until myfamily and I got threatened by terrorists, and we had to run away from my country andleave our my life’s, my friends, and my family; since, that day I decided to change mylife, by getting a job, getting a college education, and taking responsibility for my life andmy family specially my brother, I stopped drinking and smoking so I could be a goodexample for him. As well I started expending more time with my family, and gave themmore importance including my dad’s side of the family. Five years after this big change I can definitely see the difference in my personallike, I bought a house, I have a stable job, I am going to college to finish my education,and I got married to wonderful person, my home is full of love and happiness; moreover,the relationship with my mom got better, and my brother and I became really close. NowI can say that I wouldn’t change my life because even if I have hard times those thought
me to be a better person, and I try not to make the same mistakes my mom did. So Icould be an example not just for my family, but for my future generations.