2. Any Resemblance to Actual
Persons, Policies, Or Politics,
Living or Dead, is Purely
Coincidental
3. 1. Work
2. Work
3. More work
4. Work on weekends
5. Money
6. Sleep
Agenda/Topics To Be Covered
4. • The founders were sick of being exploited by their old employer, so
they broke off and started their own company…however, they do
everything in their power to prevent their current employees from
doing the same thing
• Nobody was really inspired by some esoteric ideals, they were just
tired of not having as much money as they wanted
History of Company
5. • Joseph Belini – The wealthy owner, sometimes he’s really cool and
other times he’s a complete asshole
• Martino Sanchez – He’s the guy who actually does everything and
despite all that still gets mistreated by the company
• Bob Johnson – The devil incarnate, hired by Joseph into the company
as a favor to Bob’s uncle, even though Bob is utterly incompetent
• Michelle Parker – Heart of the company, constantly has to turn down
the advances of obnoxious male customers and Bob Johnson
Who’s Who
6. • Do what you are told and act like you are permanently satisfied with
being nothing more than a cog in the machine
• Go against the grain & expect a termination notice within a few weeks
• Avoid dating coworkers, unless you are one of the management’s
favorites in which case there is a huge double standard
• Dress appropriately, and realize Casual Friday is a subtle test
Company Policies
7. • Benefit Of Social Status
• Benefit Of Not Being
Unemployed
• Benefit Of The Doubt
• Platinum insurance for bosses,
cheap one for the workers
• 2 weeks nominal vacation time
per year, 2 days real time off
• Sugary snacks in the kitchen
Benefits
8. We got rid of them to cut costs
Performance Reviews
9. Please contact the Department Of Indoctrination
Fill out the usual government documents
The currency here is respect
Required Paperwork
