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2   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
BOSTON
                                                                           SUMMER 2012




                                     TeenLife.com

8    CAREER TRACK:
     21st Century Skills for the 21st Century Workplace
     By Chad Foster


11   MONEY SENSE:
     Financial Wisdom for Teens—Learn Now or Pay Later!
     By Chad Foster


14
                                                                     27
     FEATURE:
     Helicopter Parenting—
     Why It’s Not Good for Your Teen
     By Diana Simeon


25   VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT:



                                                                     14
     Does Your Teen Want to Be a Samariteen?
     By Lesli Amos


27   CAMPUS CONNECT:
     Why Hire an Independent Consultant?
     An Objective Professional Can Pay Off in Many Ways
     By Jim Paterson


29   HEALTH & WELLNESS:
     Media Literacy 101—Fortifying Teens’ Media Diets
     By Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed.


31   VIEW POINTS:
     The Dreaded “D” Word




                                                            In Every Issue
                                                            6   DID YOU KNOW?
                                                                New ground-breaking stats
                                         See page 7.

                                                            7   FAVORITE FINDS:
                                                                Review the latest and greatest




 39                                        43
                                                                                                STAY CONNECTED!
         DIRECTORY:                                    WHAT’S HAPPENING?
         Programs and services for                     Regional events in and
         families with teens                           around Boston.
                                                                                   SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS    3
High  School  Quiz  Show  is  a   Major  sponsorship  for  High  School  Quiz  Show  is  provided  by:   Additional  funding  is  provided  by:
production  of  WGBH  Boston
Welcome to


                            A New Quarterly Magazine For Parents of Teens!
      You asked for it—and we delivered!             Our feature, Helicopter Parenting:            Let me know what you think! This
In response to interest from TeenLife           Why It’s Not Good for Your Teen on page       magazine is for you—comments and
members and parents of teens—like you—          14, resonated with me right away. I think     feedback are always welcome. And please
we recognized that you not only need, but       we have all been guilty of micromanaging      pass it along to other parents you know
want, more information and guidance to          our teens.                                    with teens!
navigate the issues affecting teens today.           On page 31, we look at parent, teen,
                                                                                              Happy Reading,
As you know, these can be formidable            and expert perspectives on divorce and
years—and we want to be right by                Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed. evaluates teen
your side!                                      media literacy on page 29. In addition,
      Life with Teens aims to inspire par-      we offer ways your child can manage their
ents to be better parents, and teens to be      money (page 11) and apply “21st Century
better teens. We also aspire to help your       Skills” to their lives (page 8).
budding college student prepare for life             In each issue, you’ll also find a         Marie Schwartz, President & Founder,
beyond high school. To think about finan-        Volunteer Spotlight (page 25), a Listings     TeenLife Media, LLC
                                                                                              mschwartz@teenlife.com
cial security, work/life skills, the value of   Directory of teen-friendly programs and
giving back, and more.                          resources (page 39), and Local Events
      You’ll find our editorial is timely        (page 43) to add to your calendar.           P.S. Spread the word! Connect with
and offers valuable advice.Thanks to                 We hope you enjoy your first issue       TeenLife on Facebook and Twitter
the team at Your Teen magazine for              of Life with Teens. To keep receiving        (@teenlifemedia). Invite family, friends,
providing some of the content in our            your free subscription, sign up at           and coworkers to subscribe to Life with
inaugural issue.                                Teenlife.com/mag.                            Teens at TeenLife.com/mag.




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                                                                                                             SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   5
DID YOU
                 KNOW?


    OVER A LIFETIME, INDIVIDUALS
    WITH A BACHELOR’S DEGREE
    MAKE 84% MORE MONEY
    THAN THOSE WITH ONLY A
    HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA.
    The Georgetown University Center
    on Education and The Workforce




        Working couples talk
     to one another an average
          of only 12 minutes
               a day.
                             NYU Child
                             Study Center




    BY 2015, THE MILLENNIAL
                                            1 in 3 teens
                                              sends more than
    GENERATION WILL MAKE
                                             100 text messages
    UP ONE-THIRD OF THE                           a day, or
    ELECTORATE.                             3,000 texts a month.
    Young Democrats of America 2010         The Pew Research Center’s Internet &
                                                   American Life Project

6    LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
FAVORITE
                                                                                            FINDS




                 of teenagers say they
              hide their online activity
              from their parents.                                                     LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD!
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Gummy Candy
Soaked in Alcohol
By Dr. Thomas Tallman, Director,
Emergency Preparedness & Disaster                                                     GO
Medicine at Cleveland Clinic.                                                         RETRO!
                                                                                      YUBZ provides
There are teenagers who                         Obviously, if you are seeing          today’s parents and
search for an undetectable                      gummy candies suddenly appear         teens with a safe,
mind-altering experience.                       or disappear and alcohol is miss-     functional, and chic
Some have found a new                           ing, you may have cause to worry.     Retro Handset that is
way to get an alcohol buzz                      However, if you are waiting for       effective in reducing
without arousing suspicion—                     telltale signs, you will miss your    exposure to radio
marinating gummy bear                           opportunity. Don’t wait for grades    frequency waves
candy in vodka. The candy                       to slip and don’t ignore altered      caused by cell
absorbs the vodka and be-                       moods. Sit down and ask your          phones. They have
comes an alcohol snack. Teens                   kids whether they are seeing this     plenty of fun colors
eat them in order to keep a                     behavior among their peers. Tell      and new funky
mild buzz going throughout                      your kids that eating alcohol-laden   designs too!
the day with the thought of                     candy promotes alcohol addiction.
                                                                                      www.yubz.com
avoiding detection. But the                     Have a frank discussion and hope
teen, believing the fallacy that                for an honest reply. You may find
vodka is odorless and unde-                     an underlying reason for a desired
tectable, is not fooling anyone.                “altered mood.”

Some content reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine.
                                                                                                  SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   7
CAREER
                   TRACK




                                          Century  Skills
             FOR THE 21ST CENTURY WORKPLACE
                       ST

                                               BY CH AD FOST ER
                                               BY C H AD FO ST ER



Today’s teens will spend at least 16 years
Today’s teens will spend at least 16 years    Networking Skills—Future
                                              Networking Skills—Future
and almost 20,000 hours in classrooms
and almost 20,000 hours in classrooms         teen employees will need to master
                                              teen employees will need to master
before heading out into the real world.
before heading out into the real world.
So, how can a parent be sure that this
So, how can a parent be sure that this
                                              the skills of meeting and effectively
                                              the skills of meeting and effectively
                                              communicating with a lot of people,
                                              communicating with a lot of people,
                                                                                       12 TIPS
                                                                                       for Teens Preparing
                                                                                       for Teens Preparing
lengthy journey provides their teens
lengthy journey provides their teens          getting to know those people, and
                                              getting to know those people, and
with the necessary tools needed to suc-
with the necessary tools needed to suc-       then staying in touch with those
                                              then staying in touch with those         for the Real World
                                                                                       for the Real World
ceed? The question is fair, and deserves
ceed? The question is fair, and deserves      people—maybe even hundreds of
                                              people—maybe even hundreds of              1. Find your passion
                                                                                         1. Find your passion
serious consideration. Education alone
serious consideration. Education alone        new contacts. In actuality, teens are
                                              new contacts. In actuality, teens are         and follow it.
                                                                                            and follow it.
probably isn’t the answer. But the addi-
probably isn’t the answer. But the addi-      all quite familiar with the concept
                                              all quite familiar with the concept        2. Ask a million
                                                                                         2.
tion of summer jobs, community service
tion of summer jobs, community service        of “keeping in touch” with a large
                                              of “keeping in touch” with a large            questions.
                                                                                            questions.
work, educational programs, and even
work, educational programs, and even          community of people via social net-
                                              community of people via social net-        3. Read everything
                                                                                         3.
internships can help fill in the gaps. Each
internships can help fill in the gaps. Each    working, so the transition to a pro-
                                              working, so the transition to a pro-          you can.
                                                                                            you can.
of these experiences will teach teens the
of these experiences will teach teens the     fessional application should be fairly
                                              fessional application should be fairly
                                                                                         4. Meet all kinds of
                                                                                         4.
vital 21st Century skills necessary to
vital 21st Century skills necessary to        smooth. Keep in mind however,
                                              smooth. Keep in mind however,
                                                                                            people.
                                                                                            people.
prepare and succeed in work. So, what
prepare and succeed in work. So, what         that teens must be reminded that all
                                              that teens must be reminded that all
are these skills?
are these skills?                             of the technology in the world will
                                              of the technology in the world will        5. Fill your address
                                                                                         5.
                                              not change the age old premise that
                                              not change the age old premise that           book.
                                                                                            book.
Communication Skills—Teens
Communication Skills—Teens                    “people make people successful.”
                                              “people make people successful.”           6. Stay in touch with
                                                                                         6.
must develop the ability to talk to people
must develop the ability to talk to people    Who you know will always be just
                                              Who you know will always be just              everyone.
                                                                                            everyone.
from all walks of life. “Don’t talk to
from all walks of life. “Don’t talk to        as important as what you know.
                                              as important as what you know.             7. Always do the right
                                                                                         7. Always do the right
strangers” makes great sense until age
strangers” makes great sense until age                                                      thing.
                                                                                            thing.
11 or 12. After that, the ability to hold a
11 or 12. After that, the ability to hold a   People Skills—In a practi-
                                              People Skills—In a practi-                 8. Volunteer for
                                                                                         8.
conversation is vital. Questioning skills
conversation is vital. Questioning skills     cal sense, the ability to get along
                                              cal sense, the ability to get along           community service.
                                                                                            community service.
and listening skills are both critical to
and listening skills are both critical to     with others will benefit teens in all
                                              with others will benefit teens in all       9. Discover your natural
                                                                                         9.
this process, which need not be compli-
this process, which need not be compli-       aspects of their lives—at home, in
                                              aspects of their lives—at home, in            talents.
                                                                                            talents.
cated. Whether personally or profession-
cated. Whether personally or profession-      the classroom, and in the work-
                                              the classroom, and in the work-
                                                                                       10. Try a few jobs before
                                                                                       10. Try a few jobs before
ally, teens should be reminded to ask
ally, teens should be reminded to ask         place. However, statistics show
                                              place. However, statistics show
                                                                                            and during college.
                                                                                            and during college.
simple questions; listen to answers and
simple questions; listen to answers and       that people skills in the workplace
                                              that people skills in the workplace
incorporate them into their next ques-
incorporate them into their next ques-        are often the toughest to master. A
                                              are often the toughest to master. A      11. Pursue your dreams.
                                                                                        11. Pursue your dreams.
tions; and focus questions on jobs,
tions; and focus questions on jobs,           whopping 70% of people who quit
                                              whopping 70% of people who quit          12. Remember: mastery
                                                                                       12. Remember: mastery
families, and hobbies. A teen that is
families, and hobbies. A teen that is         or lose their jobs do so because they
                                              or lose their jobs do so because they        of vital 21st Century
                                                                                           of vital st
“interesting” is great. A teen that is
“interesting” is great. A teen that is        can’t get along with their bosses
                                              can’t get along with their bosses            skills leads to suc-
                                                                                           skills leads    success.
“interested” is even better.
“interested” is even better.                  or coworkers. This is clearly one
                                              or coworkers. This is clearly one            cess.


8
8   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
    LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
skill that is best not learned “on
                                                                                Give your
the job.” Success will depend on a
teen’s ability to compromise and                                                teen the
to resolve conflict—coupled with
understanding the dangers of burn-
ing bridges along the way.
                                                                                confidence
Tolerance—Three-year-olds
                                                                                they need.
from diverse backgrounds play
together peacefully on playgrounds
across America. They do so be-            Academic Life Coaching Ten one-on-one sessions tailored to
cause they have yet to embrace the        the individual student. Increase academic confidence and reduce
poison of intolerance. Socially,          anxiety. Build personal confidence and self-awareness. Improve
intolerance is distasteful, but pro-      communications, relationships and leadership skills; for school, for life,
fessionally intolerance can be fatal.     for your child.
Employees don’t have the luxury
of choosing their coworkers, their                                                             Gina Halsted
bosses, and/or their customers.                                                           Academic Life Coach
Teens who expect to survive and                                                            gina@ALCteen.com
succeed in the global economy to-
day absolutely need to learn how to                                                          www.ALCteen.com
live with, work with, and socialize
with people from all walks of life.
So, how can you as a parent help?
Intolerance—a learned behavior—


                                          ArtsBridge
can be unlearned with the help of
parents who recognize the dangers
of this behavior and the future
challenges that it presents.
                                         INTENSE COLLEGE ADVISING
Choices/Consequences—                    IN THE PERFORMING ARTS
There is no magic wand when
it comes to helping teens always
make the right choices, but they
can be reminded to weigh data,
think about risk, and consider the
consequences of their choices. The
key is for teens to develop pro-
cesses and strategies that enable
them to sharpen their foresight.
“If I only knew then what I know
now,” a comment often heard,
reminds us that hindsight is always
20/20. Teens must understand that
there is a dangerous correlation
between making minor bad choices
now and making major bad choices
later. It is also critical for them to              Educational Consultants
realize that just one destructive                   specializing in the Performing Arts
decision can easily destroy the
best laid plans and highest hopes.                       ArtsBridge.com // info@artsbridge.com


                                                                                              SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   9
Conversely, making positive “right”
                                   decisions can help them achieve
                                   their life-long dreams.

                                   Time Management—Organi-
                                   zational and time utilization skills
                                   are two of the most vital common
                                   denominators of highly successful
                                   people. The ability to multi-task is
                                   paramount to a successful educa-
                                   tional, as well as workplace experi-
                                   ence. Simply put, teens who cannot
                                   effectively manage their time and
                                   organize their daily schedules are
                                   certain to struggle. Every teen
                                   must have a system. Whether that
                                   system is implemented with an
                                   electronic gadget or an old fash-
                                   ioned manual process is irrelevant.
                                   If the system works, then it is the
                                   right system. Hint: the ability to
                                   say “no” can go a long way in the
                                   game of time management!

                                   Business Literacy—In today’s
                                   world of entrepreneurial busi-
                                   nesses and start-up companies, the
                                   vast majority of today’s teens will
                                   not work for large corporations.
                                   Smaller companies will employ
                                   most—and the preparation is quite
                                   different from the preparation for
                                   a job in generations past. These
                                   companies typically do not have
                                   the time or resources to train basic
                                   workplace skills or teach the newly
                                   employed about the particular in-
                                   dustry landscape. Employees who
                                   take initiative, deal with challenges,
                                   overcome obstacles, and solve
                                   problems starting in their teen
                                   years will have a distinct advantage
                                   over the rest. Business literacy is
                                   probably the difference between
                                   failure and success.

                                   There is ample time for teens to
                                   master the 21st Century skills vital
                                   to workplace and life achievement
                                   if they start now. They must get
                                   involved, communicate, network,
                                   organize, make calculated deci-
                                   sions, appreciate others, and learn
                                   business. LWT


10   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
SENSE

                    FINANCIAL WISDOM FOR TEENS

   Learn Now or Pay Later!
  What teens need to do now in order to become financially literate young adults.

                                                                                            BY C HAD FO ST ER


             very parent wants their teen          And it can go even further. What
             to walk into the real world      they are probably not thinking about is
             fully prepared to make wise      how influential these jobs can be on their
             financial decisions. But, for     eventual career path. I like to remind par-
             most parents, teaching their     ents and teens that the process of career
children how to do this is not—at all—        exploration, preparation, and selection
easy. So, here’s some practical advice,       cannot start too early.
mixed with a little bit of financial wisdom,        As parents, encourage your teen
that you can share with your teen about       to get summer jobs in various different
making, managing, and multiplying their       types of work and intern (hopefully paid)
hard-earned money.                            during breaks. Not only will they be
                                              earning their own money, but they will
1. MAKING MONEY—How will your                 also be exploring what they like to do.
teen get his or her money? Simply put,        A love for animals is not enough to
they can earn it, marry it, inherit it, or    become a vet, but combining a love for
steal it! Since marrying money is unlikely,   animals with substantial time working
inheriting money can take forever, and        in a vet’s office may lead a teen to
stealing money is illegal, the truth of the   that very career.
matter is that the vast majority of today’s
teens will have to do it the old-fashioned
way. Earn it.
     Of course, your child—and many of              “Young
the teens you might know—are probably
earning money by babysitting, mowing             savers usually
lawns, working in retail, or cashiering at       end up as old
the local supermarket, which are all excel-         savers.”
lent ways in which young adults can make
money. Obviously earning their own
money not only gives them some cash in
their pockets, but it also teaches them so
much more. They begin to learn the corre-
lation between working hard and getting
paid for their efforts. And they can learn
about supply and demand: after babysit-
ting for a few families, they might realize
how many families need childcare help—
and thus an enterprising teen might seize
on the chance to earn even more money.


                                                                                             SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   11
2. MANAGING MONEY—So,
  what happens when the cash starts to
  flow in? Will your teen spend it all?
  Save some of it? Give some away?
  Hopefully, the answer will be no, yes,
  yes. Yes, you are reading it correctly,
  I replied no, yes, yes. In passing my
  financial wisdom on to you, I honestly
  believe that successful money man-
  agement can only take place if “the
  list” is in the right order. Give, Save,
  Spend. Let me explain.
        Giving. Granted, “giving” is not
  always an easy concept to sell to the
  average teen that has worked hard
  for his or her paycheck. But then
  again, who wants to have an average




                                                                                       10
  teen? Teens should be encouraged
  to give—this reminds teens at an           30 simply will not be as effective as
  early age that no matter who they          starting the saving process as a teen.
  are or what they have, there is always     The secret to saving is time.
  someone less fortunate. I like to put           Spending seems to come quite
  it this way: whether you are 16 or 60,     naturally to most teens. After all, why
  and whether you give away $10 or           work hard to earn that pile of money      Ten Tips for Teens
  $10,000, there are three things I can      if you can’t turn around and spend        on the Road to
                                             some of it? The desire to spend for
  promise you.
                                             most teens is quite normal. But it
                                                                                       Financial Freedom
       1. It always feels good to give.      is imperative that teens have a clear
       2. It helps others when you give.     understanding of how much money            1. Work part-time as a
                                             they’re bringing in, and thus how             teenager.
       3. Giving is the right thing to do.
                                             much they can allow themselves to
                                                                                       2. Give to those less
       Teens who start giving at an          spend, both on things they need and
                                                                                          fortunate than you.
  early age typically become adults who      things they want.
  continue the practice of giving later           As parents, intervene a bit; ask     3. Learn to save money at
  in life.                                   your kids before shopping if they            an early age.
       Saving. Saving is important, and      actually need what they plan to
  it must become a habit. Habits, good       buy—or just want what they plan to        4. Understand the
  and bad alike, are hard to break. For      buy. Again, they will probably spend         difference between
  this reason, young savers usually end      a little on both, but a clear problem        needs and wants.
  up as older savers, which is critical      arises when teens start spending
                                                                                       5. Develop good spending
  to the process of wise money man-          money they don’t have on things they
                                                                                          habits before you have
  agement. While still highly recom-         don’t need. When that line is crossed,       big bucks.
  mended, starting to save at age 25 or      a small piece of plastic has obviously
                                                                                       6. Pursue a career you enjoy.

                                                                                        7. Figure out how to make
                                       COLLEGE                                             money while you sleep.
                                     PRESIDENTS
                                       TELL US                                         8. Pay off all credit cards
                                      THAT THEY                                           every month.
                                     LOSE MORE
                                      STUDENTS                                         9. Protect what you own
                                      TO CREDIT                                           with insurance.
of college students carry credit                              year-olds that have
                                     CARD DEBT
 card debt, with more than half                              declared bankruptcy
                                       THAN TO                                         10. Recognize the need to
of those students charging their                              has increased 96%
                                      ACADEMIC                                             live within your means.
        cards to the limit.                                 over the past 10 years.
                                       FAILURE.
  12   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
worked its way into the process.
     Be aware, credit card compa-       EarthConnect:
                                        A Costa Rican Adventure
nies target teens, too. And credit
card debt, as anyone knows, can
cause long-term financial ruin. In

                                        Summer Program
fact, colleges today report that they
lose more students to credit card
debt than to academic failure.

3. MULTIPLYING MONEY—
Teens who explore rewarding
                                        for Teens

                                        ‘‘
careers for themselves and learn
to effectively manage the money         Story after story came…
they earn are well on their way to
financial success. Only the abil-
                                        Spy hopping with the
ity to multiply their money stands      dolphins, kayaking in
between them and their future,
and complete financial freedom.
                                        mangroves, meeting
As a wise man in West Texas once        locals and traveling by
shared with an eager, ambitious
teenage entrepreneur, “Until you
                                        bus. What became clear
learn how to make money while           to me was how much
you sleep, you will never really get
ahead in the financial process.”
                                        Sam enjoyed being with
     Teens who learn how to make        authentic people from a
money while they sleep, unearned
money, are the real winners. The
                                        foreign culture. When I
sooner teens are introduced to the      asked him “Was it what
process of investing, and the earlier
they are taught to understand the
                                        you thought it would
power of unearned income, the           be?” His response was
better off they will be in the long
run. No matter how the market
                                        “Better, by far!” He
performs, a safe, long-term stock       was proud of the work
will be more profitable the earlier
your teen invests.
                                        he accomplished and all
     Once again, time is a determin-    that he learned. He got
ing factor in the process. Adults
and teens alike must understand,
                                        more out of the program
                                        than I could have


                                                              ’’
however, that investing is a skill,
which must be learned and prac-
ticed in order to improve over time.
                                        possibly expected.
     Is there a sure-fire formula that   —EarthConnect 2011 Parent
works for every teen learning about
money? Not a chance. But is it
possible to send teens into the real
world financially literate? You bet.     Chill Expeditions
As parents, encourage them to earn
their own money; to really think
                                        Costa Rican Adventures
                                        Experiential Learning Adventures Since 1995
about their career path; to give,
save, and spend in the right order;     800.551.7887 Toll Free
and to multiply their money even        requests@costaricanadventures.com
while they sleep. Teach financial
wisdom now or consequently they
                                        www.costaricanadventures.com
will pay later! LWT

                                                                                      SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   13
PARENTING
                        Why It’s Not Good for Your Teen

Haven’t we all had a helicopter moment?
Perhaps it was a note to a teacher
protesting a grade, or a call to a coach
insisting our teenager gets to play in
next week’s game. Maybe it was
helping too much with an English
paper or wrangling an invitation
to a party. Whatever the reason,
we stepped in and did for our
teenager what they could—
and probably should—have
handled on their own.


 by Diana Simeon
Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine.




14   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   15
CCASIONAL MOMENTS LIKE THESE ARE PART
                                                    OF BEING A PARENT. WE LOVE OUR TEENAGERS AND WANT
                                                    THE BEST FOR THEM. BUT WHEN INTERVENTION HAPPENS
                                                    TOO OFTEN, AND WE FIND OURSELVES HANDLING LIFE’S
                                                    CHALLENGES FOR OUR TEENAGERS WEEK AFTER WEEK—
                                                    OR DAY AFTER DAY—THEN WE MAY BE HURTING MORE
                                                    THAN HELPING.
                                                           IN ORDER FOR OUR TEENAGERS TO GROW INTO
                                                    SUCCESSFUL ADULTS, THEY MUST LEARN TO HANDLE
                                                    CHALLENGES ON THEIR OWN. THIS DOESN’T MEAN THAT
                                                    WE LET OUR TEENAGERS GO THEIR OWN WAY NO MATTER
                                                    WHAT THEY’RE UP AGAINST, BUT IT DOES MEAN THAT, MORE
                                                    OFTEN THAN NOT, WE MUST LET THEM TAKE THE LEAD.

     And when our radar detects trouble, we act.                In fact, how many of us would get into the college we
“Some parents hope to rescue their teenagers from getting       attended? The current economic climate doesn’t help mat-
a bad grade or from a social situation or from any of the       ters; even attending a prestigious college doesn’t guarantee
pitfalls that can happen in life, believing perhaps that it     a job upon graduation for our teens.
will be too difficult for their teen to handle,” explains Amy         Then, there are our worries over driving and drugs
Speidel, a Cleveland-area parenting coach.                      and alcohol and sex and everything else that can go
     “We have a pessimistic attitude toward our kids            wrong—sometimes drastically so—in their lives. And, as
that says they cannot do anything safely or successfully        if all of this weren’t enough, chances are we’re also acting
without our help,” adds New York City-based syndicated          out of guilt.
columnist Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids:                  “We feel guilty because it’s so much harder for our
How to Raise Safe Self-Reliant Children without Going Nuts      teenagers today or because we’re asking them to do so
with Worry.                                                     much or because we’re divorced or we work too much or
     So why do we do it? What’s changed from the hands-         whatever,” Gilboa says.
off parenting style of past generations to the enmeshed
style so frequently found today? Why do we think that our
teenagers can’t handle what we handled at their age? Well,      Wait, Should We Really Land this
according to the experts, there are several factors at play.    Helicopter?
     First, foremost and most obvious, we love our teen-              So, if the world has changed, if it’s that much harder
agers. “We believe that no one has our teenager’s best          for our teenagers, isn’t the appropriate response to be more
interests at heart. That’s not self-aggrandizing. That’s        enmeshed with them? Absolutely not, the experts say.
truly love,” says Deborah Gilboa, MD, a.k.a. Dr. G, a                “We can almost describe it like this,” Speidel says. “It
Pittsburgh-area physician. “And as they move into               is as if parents are attempting to help their teens develop
adolescence, we’re also still in the habit of taking care       an internal guidance system, but never allow the teen to
of all their needs.”                                            experience the learning as their own. For instance, years
     Anxiety for our teenagers’ future is another reason.       ago, if you were 12 years old and nobody picked you up at
“There is an apt recognition that the world is a more           the end of an activity, you had to figure it out. Now, teens
competitive place now,” notes Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical       don’t do that; they just make a call.”
psychologist at Laurel School in Shaker Heights, Ohio.               Yet, it’s this figuring out of day-to-day problems
“And that this generation will have to work harder to be        that teenagers need to grow successfully into adulthood,
as successful as their parents.”                                Speidel notes. “By giving children the answers, parents
     No doubt. Take getting into college, particularly a        are actually creating a foreman-on-the-job response in
top-ranked college. It’s just much harder to do these days.     their child that says, ‘I don’t have to bank this knowledge

16   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
because you will have the answer            adults who lack confidence, and per-
for me.’”                                   haps even the competence, to success-
     In other words, when teenag-           fully make their way in the world.
ers deal with a challenge, they learn            Meanwhile, our relationship with
how to deal with a challenge. When          our teenagers is also at risk when we
they, and not their parents, talk to the    helicopter. “There may be kids who
coach about playing in next week’s          find this totally inappropriate and
soccer game or to the teacher about         humiliating,” Damour says. “It puts
a poor grade, then the next time a          them in the position of being angry
                                                                                          TIGER PARENTING:
similar situation arises, they will have    with someone who is acting on their           The Flip Side of the Coin?
built the skills to do so.                  behalf.” Meaning you.
     But, when a parent swoops in                                                         Thanks to Amy Chua’s bestselling
                                                                                          Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,
and takes charge, these skills won’t
develop.                                    Coming in for a Landing                       we now have yet another parenting
                                                                                          moniker at our disposal: tiger mom.
     “It can feel like a vote of no confi-        Former New York Times and now
dence. The parent is, in effect, telling    Huffington Post columnist Lisa Belkin         Tiger mom—or tiger parent—means
the teenager: ‘I don’t think you can        said it all when she wrote: “Our own          a parent who pushes her children to
handle this, so I am going to handle it     quirks look, to us, like concern or           excel, at times using strategies that
for you,’” Damour says.                     prudence or love. It’s everyone ELSE          may seem excessive to the rest of us.
     Then, there’s the tendency of          who hovers.”
                                                                                          While it’s most often seen with
many enmeshed parents to rescue                  Isn’t it true? It’s easy to “tsk, tsk”   academics, it also happens in music
their teenagers from the consequences       about instances of extreme helicopter-        or sports or debate or dance or most
of their actions. For example, the          ing—like the parent of the Colgate            any competitive activity in which a
parent who calls to complain about          University student who called the             tiger parent decides, “My child will
a grade her teenager “deserved” is          school to complain about the plumb-           be the best.”
not helping her teenager at all. Why        ing conditions in China, where her
                                                                                          At Life with Teens we wondered: Are
study next time if Mom or Dad can           daughter was spending a semes-
                                                                                          tiger parents the same as helicopter
fix it for you?                              ter—but when it comes to our own              parents? They are, after all, very in-
                                            teenagers, determining how much is            volved with their children’s lives. So,
                                            too much is not easy.                         we asked our experts to weigh in.
                                                 “I think parents feel frustrated
“When your teenager                         by this. They wonder: ‘So, I’m just           “I would say those are mostly
                                                                                          different dynamics,” explains Lisa
                                            supposed to let them sink or swim?’”
comes to you with                           Speidel says. “It’s the balance that’s        Damour, a clinical psychologist at
                                                                                          Laurel School in Shaker Heights,
a problem, instead                          so important. Are you giving them             Ohio. “You can have super-
                                            steps along the way to become that
of providing a                              confident adult that you clearly want
                                                                                          demanding parents that expect
                                                                                          a kid to manage, but the helicopter
solution, just listen—                      them to become? They are not going            parent does not think their kid
                                            to become competent just because              can manage.”
and be curious.”                            they reach a certain age. They become
                                                                                          What’s more, tiger parents want
                                            that confident adult because they have
                                                                                          their children to experience hard
     “Consequences give our brain           those experiences leading up to that,         knocks, says Harvard-affiliated
information that says: This worked          which tell them, ‘You are capable             sociologist Hilary Levey Friedman,
well; I want to do it again. Or: This       of this.’”                                    author of the forthcoming Playing to
didn’t work at all for me; I want to                                                      Win: Raising Children in a Competi-
avoid that or try something different.      Here are some strategies                      tive Culture. “Competitive parents
The brain actually wires itself around      to get you started:                           recognize that no matter how great
                                                                                          you are, you are going to face ad-
these experiences,” Speidel notes.
                                                                                          versity at some point in your life. If
     What’s at stake? A lot. If parents     Listen (a lot) more than you                  you learn how to deal with that at a
don’t allow teenagers to take charge        suggest. When your teenager                   younger age, and in a safer environ-
of their lives—and experience the           comes to you with a problem, instead          ment, that’s a good thing.”
positive and negative consequences          of providing a solution, just listen—
of their actions—they will grow into        and be curious. “So, for instance, if         Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine.


                                                                                                    SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS     17
ADVICE FROM OUR EXPERT
                                     Why do we helicopter? Because we love our teenagers and, at times, we’re afraid
                                     for them. But, says Deborah Gilboa, MD, a.k.a. Dr. G, a Pittsburgh-area physician who
                                     also dispenses parenting advice on HuffPost Parents and Twitter, we need to get
                                     over that. Letting our teenagers stumble is just what they need.



What do you think of the term “helicopter parent?”                           Okay, so say my teenager never gets up on time
I prefer to say “enmeshed parent.” It is honest, but not                     for school?
as condemning.                                                               I would say, “Your ride to school leaves at this time. But
                                                                             I’m not going to yell anymore, because it ruins my day.”
What are we doing when we’re enmeshed with our                               If they miss the bus, they miss the bus. However, you and
teenagers?                                                                   your teen must agree on the consequences if school is
We’re not building resilience. Our goal is to raise our                      missed. By high school, you can wait for the school to give
teenagers so they can leave us; we’re important, but                         consequences, but be cautious about inserting yourself
temporary. When we don’t teach our teenagers to man-                         between the child and the consequences. Your teenager
age problems on their own, they don’t learn resilience.                      may get an unexcused absence; they may have to take a
And, if we don’t teach resilience, then we rob them of the                   grade hit. But, high school is a much better time to under-
self-esteem that comes from learning that they are resil-                    stand the cost of consequences rather than in college or
ient, that they can solve their own problems and make                        at a job. I would also recommend you give your teenager
their way in life on their own.                                              three pieces of paper: three no-questions-asked rides to
                                                                             school. This can help you and your teenager ease into
So what’s the alternative?                                                   the program.
Be engaged, but not enmeshed. Listen much more than
you give advice. I read this great article years ago where                   A big project is due, but my teenager is doing a
the writer described how her dad responded when she                          terrible job. What now?
came to him with a problem. He would say, “Wow, that’s                       When it comes to a younger teenager, I encourage par-
a tough fix. I’ll be interested to see what you do about                      ents to think of themselves as a project manager, but not
it.” And he was not being patronizing. He was saying, “I’ll                  an employee. You can talk to your child about timelines
be interested to see how you solve this problem. I have                      and resources, but don’t do the work for them. Doing
faith in you, and I want to hear how it goes.” Listen, listen,               these projects is not really about, say, learning all the
listen, so you can be engaged, but bite your tongue. Offer                   names of the planets in the solar system. They’re about
advice only a fraction of the time, even though you have                     learning how to manage timelines, manage frustration,
the perfect piece of advice. Because the message when                        etc.—all the tools we need to become competent adults.
you don’t offer advice is that you have faith that your                      And, if you do the project for them—and especially if they
teenager has some good ideas about how to fix this                            get a good grade—they are not going to feel good about
problem on his or her own.                                                   it. So, yes, let them fail if necessary. You are saying: “This is
                                                                             your work.” And, you let them see that one grade is not a
Even if they mess up?                                                        reflection of who they are and that they have what it takes
The biggest gift we can give our teenagers is NOT                            to fail and recover. For an older teenager, do much less.
protecting them from consequences. If your teenager is                       They should handle most of this on their own. Again, let
going to get benched because of a C in math, you should                      them experience the consequences of their actions.
not argue with the coach or the principal or the math
teacher; you should say, “How are you going to improve                       What about the teenager who is not handing in
your grade?” If we protect them from consequences when                       homework day-to-day?
they are teenagers—and don’t teach them resilience—                          This could suggest that your teenager has an organiza-
they will be shocked and betrayed by the real world.                         tional problem. But it could also be something else, like
We are not doing them a good service. That’s the danger                      anxiety or social pressures. I always tell my patients that
of being enmeshed with our kids. We’re setting up false                      if they see a dramatic change in their child, that is not a
expectations for how they will be treated in every aspect                    time to be hands-off. So, if you see a dramatic change in
of their lives.                                                              grades or their friends, then in a very non-accusatory way,
                                                                             sit down with your teenager and say, “You need some-
That’s hard to do for enmeshed parents.                                      thing you are not getting. There is a missing link for you,
Yes, it’s hard but not impossible. It is very difficult to                    and we need to figure it out.” Promise yourself that you
change how you feel, but how you feel is not as important                    will not try to fix it in that first conversation, just be empa-
as what you do. Parents can change their actions without                     thetic and listen. Walk away and sit with it for a few hours,
changing their feelings. Change your goal from raising a                     then go back and say, “I’ve been thinking about what you
teenager who is protected to raising one who is resilient.                   said.” Then, you can start a conversation about next steps.

                                   For more advice from Dr. G or to ask a follow-up question, visit her website at askdoctorg.com or tweet her @AskDocG.
                                                                                                    Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine.

18   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
your daughter comes home and says,           suggests. But, coaching your teenager         where to start. So, here’s an idea.
‘A friend is having a party, and I           on what to do with language like,             “Next time your blades are spinning,
wasn’t invited,’ the tendency might          “Here’s how to handle this,” is not           ask yourself: ‘What’s the worst that
be to say, ‘Well, are you having             appropriate.                                  could happen in this scenario?’” says
trouble with your friend? Did you do                                                       Speidel. “And, if the answer is that
something? Do you want me to call            Start with low stakes—and                     your teenager ‘could be hurt, but it
her mom?’ In other words, ‘How do            don’t rescue your teenager                    seems as if they will recover,’ then
you want me to interfere?’” explains         from the consequences.                        allow the possibility of hurt, knowing
Speidel. “Instead, the first thing you        Teaching our teenagers to fend for            they can recover and do it differently
should do is become curious about            themselves means allowing them to             the next time. Every time you allow
how your child is experiencing this          make their own choices and experi-            your child to have a disappointment
situation and ask, ‘I’m wondering how        ence the consequences of those choic-         and recover, what you’re saying is:
you feel about this?’ It’s important for     es. For an enmeshed parent, it can            ‘You are strong. You can handle this.
your child to know that the feeling is       be gut-wrenching to watch teenagers           And, we’ve got your back.’”
hers to own, not for you to fix.”             stumble, perhaps even fall, which is               When our teenagers were tod-
                                             exactly what they’ve been trying to           dlers, just learning to walk, we were
Be a coach. Asking questions is              prevent with their hovering.                  happy to let them teeter, totter, and
also appropriate when it comes to                 Mobile, Alabama, father of three,        tumble because we understood that
supporting your teenagers through            Tilmon Brown, knows this all to well.         this is how children learn to walk—
problems. “Parents should do a lot of        “My daughter is a lost puppy. So I            and eventually run. Our teenag-
thoughtful coaching. For example, if         have to decide: Do I let her flounder          ers are not so different: They will
your teenager is having trouble with         and make a mess of her life or do I           wobble; they will trip; they will most
a teacher, you could ask, ‘Would it          get involved and help her succeed?”           certainly fall. But, if we let them do
be helpful to email your instructor?’             For those of us, like Brown, who         it enough, they will also fly. LWT
or ‘What’s the appropriate verbiage?’        struggle day in and day out with              Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine.
or ‘What are your goals?’” Damour            being enmeshed, it’s hard to know


      TOP           We polled our staff, readers, experts, friends, and family to bring you a TOP 13 of moments
                    when our helicopter blades were whirling. While some may make you giggle or gasp, others
                    may sound, well, uncomfortably familiar—proof positive of how difficult this can all be. The
                    bottom line: if these moments are the rule in your home, and not the exception, it may be
                    time to take a deep breath, review the tips from our experts and come in for a landing.

1. Recently, I emailed about 100 adults to ask them to        8. My son had to return a book to his college’s bookstore.
   be mindful of their behavior during an upcoming               There was a problem, so while he was standing in the store,
   meeting that my high schooler was also attending.             he called me on his cell phone, and I talked to the manager.

2. I called my daughter’s college to complain about          9. I require my teenager to take a picture on her phone and
   the food.                                                     text it to me, so that I know she really is where she says
                                                                 she is.
3. I called my son’s school because he missed the
   deadline to return a form that would allow him to         10. I check online daily to make sure my daughter’s grades
   participate in an extracurricular activity.                   are acceptable.

4. I can’t help myself. I attend my daughter’s rehears-      11. I went to my son’s school and held his spot in line to make
   als, take notes and then review with her the areas            sure he got into an activity he wanted to sign up for.
   that I think need improvement.
                                                             12. I drive my daughter to school 2 – 3 days a week because
5. I filled out my son’s applications for a summer job,           she can’t get to the bus stop on time.
   and I called to schedule the interview.
                                                             13. And here’s one from the headlines. A house shared by
6. I filled out my daughter’s college applications and            seven Boston University students was going up in flames.
   helped her write the essay.                                   Instead of dialing 911, one of the students called his parents,
                                                                 who in turn alerted the University’s police department.
7. I called my daughter’s boss to ask for a better               Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine.
   work schedule.

                                                                                                          SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS    19
Get started at

KnowHow2GO.org
You’ve got what it takes.
COUNTDOWN-TO-COLLEGE
                                for Juniors and Seniors
                 s you enter your final two years of high school and start                           Presented by
                 thinking about college, don’t stress. We have created this
       detailed checklist to keep your college application process moving
       along smoothly and on track.




     JUNIOR YEAR                             Thinking about college starts in your junior year.

            FALL                                               WINTER                         SPRING                             SUMMER
         Take a challenging course load and all of the       Begin researching colleges.    Look into summer jobs,            Request catalogs and admission
         classes you need to graduate.                       Look at websites, search       internships, summer camps,        information from your top-choice
                                                             sites, online campus tours,    and other career-inspiring        schools if you haven’t already.
         Log on to PrincetonReview.com to register
                                                             student reviews, and           programs that will boost          If you took the SAT/ACT for the
                                                             PrincetonReview.com.           your resume.
                                                             Take a free practice test      Attend college fairs in your      to improve your scores, then
         Register for the PSAT in October.                   for the ACT and SAT to see     area. It’s a great way to         take a summer prep course
                                                             which test you perform         collect brochures and meet        with The Princeton Review.
         Compete for the National Merit Scholarship          better on.                     College Reps one-on-one.
         (www.nationalmerit.org).                                                                                             If practical, visit and tour the
                                                             Sign up for a prep class       Sign up for a prep course         rest of the schools on your list.
         Use PrincetonReview.com and The Princeton           if you are taking the early    so that you are ready for the     Brainstorm and outline a few
         Review’s book, The Best 376 Colleges, to            spring exams. Go to            May/June exams.                   essay ideas.
         begin your initial college search.                  PrincetonReview.com            Register to take the SAT          Schedule an appointment with
         Talk to your counselor and consider an                                             or ACT.                           your counselor or independent
                                                             for you.
         assessment test to explore potential                                               Take the appropriate Subject      consultant to discuss your
         careers you might like.                             Investigate scholarship and    Tests (if needed) and AP          college plans.
                                                                                            Tests. The Princeton Review       Create a binder to keep all of
         Get involved in the community, school               Make a list of colleges        offers courses for both.
         activities, and clubs. Track your volunteer hours                                                                    your information and application
                                                             that you might like to visit   Visit the schools on your list.   forms organized and neat.
         and add these experiences to your applications.     and prepare questions for      Explore the campus, its fa-       Start your applications before
         Work on improving your vocabulary —                 upcoming tours.                cilities, and what makes each     the stresses of senior year kick
         it will help you on the SAT!                                                       particular college unique.        into full gear.




PULL OUT AND HANG ON YOUR WALL                                                                                                                 TURN FOR MORE
SENIOR YEAR                  It’s your last year of school! Now’s the time to complete your college quest.


        SEPTEMBER                                                                 APRIL
    Decide which colleges to apply to. Include schools that you believe
    will accept you, as well as some “reach” schools.
                                                                              If you are added to a waiting list, notify the college or university if
    Contact The Princeton Review to discuss the College Admissions            you are still interested, and ask them if there’s anything you can
    Consulting program.                                                       do to better your chances of being accepted.
    Work on completing your college applications.
    Find out if your target colleges accept the Common Application or         form and deposit. You’ll be off to college in the fall!
    Universal College Application, which can be submitted online.
                                                                                                                            so they can offer
    Decide if you will apply for early decision to your top-choice schools.
                                                                              enrollment to other students.
    Start the framework for your college essays.
    Participate in a Princeton Review Financial Aid Seminar.
    Ask teachers, counselors, or employers to write recommendation
    letters.                                                                      MAY
                                                                              Take any AP exams that you’ve registered for and make sure
                                                                              your scores are sent to your college.
        OCTOBER
                                                                              Write and send thank-you notes to all involved in the college
     Take the SAT/ACT.                                                        process including your counselor, teachers, and those who’ve
                                                                              written you personal recommendations. Let them know where
     Continue completing your applications. Submit early decisions.
                                                                              you will be going to school!
     Fine-tune your college essays. Have them proofread for content
     and grammar.                                                             Double check on any deadlines and last-minute paperwork
                                                                              necessary to attend your college of choice.



                                                                              Plan to attend a summer orientation at your college.


        NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
     Submit your completed college applications and essays.                       JUNE
     Check to see if your recommendation letters have been mailed.                                                              .
     Search for scholarship opportunities.
                                                                              Complete any last minute paperwork required for your school.
     Obtain a copy of FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) for
     your parents or guardians.                                               Plan your transition and exciting move to campus.
     Look for early decision acceptance letters from schools.                 Graduate high school!
JANUARY
File for the FAFSA as soon as you can after January 1.
Make sure that the colleges you applied to in December have received
your completed application.

Ask your counselor to send your mid-year grades to the colleges or
universities that require them.

                                                            if you
haven’t submitted it yet.

Check the policies on the College Level Examination Program (CLEP) tests
at the schools you may attend. These tests can earn you college credits
in certain subjects.




   FEBRUARY
If you haven’t done so already, submit your FAFSA.
Deadline is February 15th.

If you have submitted a FAFSA and you have not received your
Student Aid Report (SAR) within a month, speak to your counselor
or contact the Federal Student Aid Information Center directly.



and any initial required documents.




   MARCH
If you are taking any Advanced Placement courses, ask your
teacher or counselor how to prepare and when to take the
AP exams.

Continue searching for scholarships that will help reduce
your tuition expenses.                                               NOW... OFF TO COLLEGE!
Keep an eye out for admission decisions from colleges —
and any additional information schools may request.




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LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
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VOLUNTEER
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                                             Does Your Teen Want
                                             to Be a Samariteen?
                                                                                                            BY L ESLI AM O S

                                                 “It provides a space for callers to      able lessons she will take from Samari-
                                             have direct and honest communication         teens are summed up in two quotes.
                                             with someone their age who will respect      One is, “To the world, you may be one
                                             and listen to what they’ve been going        person—but to one person, you may be
                                             through,” continues Baum.                    the world.” The other is the Samaritans’
                                                 There is no better way to understand     tagline: “You are not alone!”
                                             the impact of Samariteens than by meet-          The most rewarding part of the Sa-
                                             ing one of the 64 active teen volunteers.    mariteens experience varies by volunteer,
                                                  Jess Kruger (16), a junior at Fram-     but Baum maintains that volunteers are
                                             ingham High who handles several              making real differences in callers’ lives.
                                             3:00–9:00 p.m. shifts per week, offers a         “Our teen volunteers speak with
                          Jess Kruger,       teen perspective. As a teen who person-      individuals who are experiencing some
                             junior at       ally conquered her own struggles with        very difficult situations. That said, it’s an
                           Framingham        mental illness, Kruger believes she “was     incredibly meaningful experience where
                           High School
                                             meant to be a Samariteen.”                   teens are directly providing help to those
                                                 Kruger explains, “Obviously each         who are in great need,” adds Baum.
      he teen years can be extremely dif-    caller’s situation is different; we are          Samaritans has other volunteer op-
ficult with pressures from school, home,      trained to intently listen, not to offer     portunities as well. Teens can participate
friends, and media, along with rapid         advice. But it is an incredible feeling to   in events like the 5K Walk/Run to raise
biological changes. For many, it is often    be on the other end of the phone when        awareness about suicide and prevention,
too much to bear. In these dire circum-      someone really needs me.”                    or the annual Make Noise to Save a Life
stances, parents and teens are extremely         Being a Samariteen offers benefits        fundraiser.
fortunate to have organizations like         on both ends of the phone line. Follow-          For teens who believe in the power
Samaritans (www.samaritans.org) with         up calls from teens formerly in crisis       of caring for others, who want real world
a mission to help reduce teen suicide: a     reassure that the program works—and          experience in the mental or public health
very real—and serious—problem today.         that meaningful peer relationships are       fields and the opportunity to make an
    In a recent interview with Nate          imperative to recovery. On the listening     immediate difference, the Samaritans’
Baum, the Youth Services Manager of          end, Kruger notes that her interpersonal     Samariteens program is an ideal fit.
the Samaritans’ Samariteens Program,         and active listening skills have flourished       Samariteens accepts volunteers ages
I was reminded that suicide is the third     as well as her own self-worth. “I am a       15 - 19, and requires a nine-month com-
leading cause of death for people ages 15    more patient and understanding person.       mitment for the helpline. Teens can sign
to 24. Although I had heard that statistic   I may even explore the field of psychol-      up online at samaritanshope.org/volun-
before, it has only now truly resonated.     ogy down the line,” remarks Kruger.          teer, or call (617) 536-2460 for Boston or
    Along with extensive community               Kruger explains that the most valu-      (508) 872-1780 for Framingham. LWT
education and outreach to help young
people who are depressed or suicidal, the
core of the Samariteens Program is the
“teen to teen” helpline: (800) 252-TEEN
and the IMHear instant messaging pro-               “TO THE WORLD,
gram, which allow teens to confide their            YOU MAY BE ONE
feelings to a peer.                                PERSON—BUT TO
     Baum explains, “Our helpline volun-
teers use a technique called ‘befriending’         ONE PERSON, YOU
as a way to actively listen and offer sup-        MAY BE THE WORLD.”
port for callers, without giving advice or                                                      Samariteens answering calls for the helpline.
passing judgment.”

                                                                                                      SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS      25
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Why Hire an                                   talented athlete joins the football team at a
                                              prominent Ivy League. A “late-to-bloom”
                                              graduate attends a major liberal arts school

Independent
                                              by means of community college first. A
                                 budding diplomat finds the perfect academic curriculum
                                 at a university in D.C. And a student with learning


 Consultant?
                                 challenges moves from discouragement to a college that
                                 meets specific needs.
                                      Apart from being successes, all of these high school
                                 students have one other thing in common: they each
                                 hired an independent educational consultant (IEC) to
An objective professional can    match them with the perfect school—a college that was
                                 exactly what they were looking for.
    pay off in many ways              So, what does an IEC exactly do that parents,
                                 college-bound teens, and sometimes time-constrained
                                 school counselors can’t or don’t?
                                      Mark Sklarow, executive director of the Indepen-
                                 dent Educational Consultants Association (IECA, www.
                                 iecaonline.org), the nation’s leading professional organi-
        B Y J IM P A T ER SO N   zation for independent educational consultants working
                                 in private practice, says, “there are a variety of ways


                                                              SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   27
consultants can help throughout the        “Working with me means that
                                      confusing and high-stakes process of       students will learn a great deal about
                                      choosing a college—by not only sav-        themselves and what they want/need
    Just as you want to find           ing families time and money, but by        at this moment in their lives.”
  the best-fit college for your        getting students to think about their            She notes that almost half of
teen, you will also want to find       interests, as well as the vast array of    college freshmen don’t return for
the best IEC to help you. Here        options they have. A consultant can        their sophomore year. A good IEC
   are some tips on selecting         also recommend different career paths      can increase a student’s odds of find-
  an Independent Educational          and rethink preconceived notions           ing the right fit.
Consultant, according to Mark         about a school.”                                 Rabe says she keeps track of de-
 Sklarow, executive director of            Sklarow continues, “Typically,        tails such as “whether the labs are up-
 the Independent Educational          a consultant has the benefit of more        dated, the career center is well-staffed,
    Consultants Association.          time to research colleges compared to      construction projects have stalled,
                                      school counselors. IECs use that time      the new workout facility is complete,
                                      to find a school where a student will       or there are internships or research
                                      thrive.”                                   options.” Families are often over-
• The IEC you hire should be               Lucia Tyler, a college consultant-    whelmed by the information about
  approachable and work easily        from Trumansburg, NY, explains,            the academics, costs, and environment
  with the personality of your        “In today’s rapidly changing environ-      at various schools, but a consultant
  family and your student. Each
                                      ment, families value up-to-date advice     can help manage the information.
  consultant has a different ap-
  proach and different expertise,
                                      on selectivity, applications, scholar-           “Also, family and student
  and should understand exactly       ships, programs, and facilities.”          opinions can be strongly held, and a
  what your family needs.                  Tyler explains, “The public           consultant can provide an objective
                                      schools often have a tough time keep-      voice—and being less close to the
• Select a person who does a lot      ing up with the tsunami of informa-        situation, can observe student inter-
  of college visits and is current    tion coming from colleges.”                ests, skills, or personality traits, and
  on the best information and
                                            “IECs consolidate information        be impartial,” Rabe explains.
  trainings.
                                      to save time and frustration—and can             Students often appreciate that
• Keep an open mind about the         provide specific data on other topics,      other voice. Rabe says, “In an age
  information a consultant pro-       such as unusual majors, special needs,     when everyone gets a trophy for
  vides, even if it doesn’t fit your   or unexpected family or personal           showing up, it can be helpful—and
  preconceived notions.               circumstances,” adds Tyler.                sometimes a huge relief—to have an
                                           Tyler also notes that beyond          educational consultant who is passion-
• Don’t assume that the IEC           the data and paperwork, IECs are           ate about excellence.”
  needs to have worked as a high
                                      concerned about the student, “A                  In conclusion, Rabe states,
  school counselor or in a college
  admissions office.
                                      major reason for students leaving          “Family savings go up in smoke and
                                      school is a mismatch. When consul-         often times students are facing debt
• Find an IEC who is interested in    tants tour, they pay attention to the      that has not moved them very close to
  the right fit and not just “get-     types of students who attend and the       a diploma, much less a career. Making
  ting your teen in.”                 activities that are deemed important       a mistake with college choice can be
                                      so they can help their clients with that   very expensive. I know dollars and
• Look for someone who makes
                                      information.”                              cents matter. But saving my families
  the student responsible.
                                           Luisa Rabe, a partner at Pru-
                                                                      Pruett     money isn’t what makes me jump
• Meet several consultants when       ett Rabe Associates, educational con-
                                      Rabe Associates, an an educational         out of bed in the morning. Instead,
  your teen is a freshman or          consulting firm in Haverford, believes
                                      sultingfirm in Haverford, PA PA be-         it’s the possibilities for a successful
  sophomore, so you can start         lieves that have extensive experience,
                                      that IECs IECs have extensive expe-        student experience.”
  working with your choice IEC        rience, having touredcampuses and
                                      having toured many many campuses                 Despite the frustration the college
  right at the beginning of their     and gone through process withwith
                                      gone through the the process many          search process can entail for both par-
  junior year.
                                      many students. She visits about about
                                      other other students. She visits 50        ents and college-bound teens, there
• Make sure your consultant
                                      50 campuses a year andconstantly
                                      campuses a year and is is constantly       are plenty of success stories in which
  works an average of 20 hours        updating her knowledge base.               students find the right match. And
  with you and your student to             “What matters to me and what          in many cases, hiring an independent
  keep the college admissions         I think matters most to my families        educational consultant helped lead
  process on track.                   are possibilities,” says Luisa Rabe.       the way. LWT

28   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
HEALTH &
                                                                         WELLNESS




                              Media Literacy 101
           Fortifying Teens’ Media Diets
                                      BY KI M BER L Y W O L F, M . E D.


             mart phones. Video games. Tablets. Laptops.    with organizations like MissRepresentation.org and
             Desktops. Magazines. Books. TV. Movies.        DoSomething.org promoting healthier content and tech-
             Newspapers. Radio. You name the sources;       nological interaction for young people, much of the media
             the chances are your teen is consuming         adored by teens is full of unrealistic body images, gender
             content from most or all of them on a weekly   stereotypes, focus on material possessions, and incomplete
basis. According to Generation M2: Media in the Lives       representations of health and wellness. With this makeup
of 8- to 18-Year-Olds, a 2010 study by the Kaiser Family    and the time that teens spend with media, the potential
Foundation, American teens spend over 7.5 hours using       negative effects are many. Social withdrawal, under-
media each day, and because of time spent multitasking,     developed conversation skills, poor sleep, issues with
they consume over 10.5 hours of media content within        body image, and weight problems are just a few.
that timeframe.                                                  For generations, parents have briefed their teens
    Media provides sources of entertainment, social         on the dangers associated with sex, drinking, drugs,
interaction, and education. Teens love it. And now more     and driving. Today’s parents should be adding media
than ever, media has tremendous influence over them. It      to their list of topics.
helps shape their self-concepts, how they understand the         If you want to help your teen navigate today’s media
world and their places within it.                           landscape in a healthy way, I suggest a multi-faceted
    While a “healthy media” movement is on the rise         approached.

                                                                                           SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   29
Educate yourself. With media
                                                                                             use on the rise and more studies
                                                                                             about media’s negative influence on
                                                                                             the teen demographic, many organi-
                                                                                             zations are actually taking the initia-
                                                                                             tive to educate adults about “healthy
                                                                                             media diets.” CommonSenseMedia.
                                                                                             org—run by James Styer, a Stanford
                                                                                             professor, lawyer, and media execu-
                                                                                             tive—has media reviews, parenting

            Substance Abuse                                                                  tips, and a customizable newsletter.

                                                                                             Model healthy media
            Treatment for Teens                                                              behaviors. CommonSenseMedia.
                                                                                             org encourages parents to “set an
                Clinical expertise in substance abuse                                        example by using media the way
                and psychiatric illness                                                      you want [your kids] to use it. Don’t
                                                                                             bring your phone to the dinner table,
                Strong support for parents                                                   and turn the television off when it’s
                                                                                             not actively being watched.”
                Peaceful residential setting near Boston
                                                                                             Limit teens’ media
                                                                                             exposure (when possible).
                                                                                             Generation M2 points out the
                                                                                             numerous decisions parents make in
                                                                                             creating a “media environment” for
                                                                                             their teens. You may not be able to
                                                                                             control your teen’s media exposure
                                                                                             beyond your home, but simple deci-
                                                                                             sions like banning TV, computers,
                                                                                             and smart phones from your child’s
                                                                                             bedroom move the dial when it
                                                                                             comes to reducing media intake.

                                                                                             Teach media safety. Make
                                                                                             your teens aware of media’s down-
                                                                                             falls and how they affect all people,
                                                                                             not just youth. Talk to them about
                                                                                             recent studies or statistics about
                                                                                             media use, and refer to their favorite
                                                                                             shows or magazines as jumping
                                                                                             off points for discussions around
                                                                                             negative or inaccurate imagery and
                                                                                             messaging.

                                                                                                  The influence of media on
                                                                                             American teens can’t be discount-
                                                                                             ed—and it doesn’t look like teens
                                                                                             will be losing interest in media any
                                                                                             time soon. The good news is that
            McLean Hospital is the largest psychiatric affiliate of Harvard Medical School
                                                                                             today’s parents have the opportunity
            and a member of Partners HealthCare.
                                                                                             to foster responsible media habits in
            www.mcleanlanding.org :: 877.412.3445                                            teens, which will help them enjoy
            mcleanlanding@mclean.harvard.edu                                                 media’s benefits in more positive,
                                                                                             healthy ways. LWT


30   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
VIEW
                                                     POINTS




The Dreaded “D” Word
IT IS NO SURPRISE THAT DIVORCE IS DIFFICULT
FOR ALL INVOLVED, BUT WE HOPE THESE PERSONAL
STORIES AND EXPERT ADVICE SHED SOME LIGHT ON
HOW FAMILIES CAN PERSEVERE.

Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine.




                                                        SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   31
www.tec-coop.org
                                                                                 PA RENT
                                                                                 JEN N I
                                                                                 N EWMA N
 INTERNSHIP
     PROGRAM                            “W             hen I got divorced, my kids were 14, 10, and 6. It was a
                                     painful time for all of us, but I thought that I was prepared for every-
                                     thing that would accompany this difficult decision. And to some extent
 Internships  offered  during:       I was. I knew how to handle most things that would change our lives
            summer  months           from a two-parent household to a single-parent household. Once the
                                     divorce was final my kids and I began working together to move
            the  academic  year      forward into a new schedule for all of us.
                                         The new challenges that I was not prepared for came when I began
            after  school  hours     dating. Dating at 41 was very different than dating in my twenties.
            the  school  day         For starters, meeting single men was not the same as it was when I
                                     was younger. And before I got married, I only had to worry about my
            post  secondary/         parents; now I had to worry about my kids.
                                         Of course I could not dictate what my ex would share with my kids,
            gap  year                but I decided that I would not discuss dating with my kids unless it
                                     became serious. I had a few dates shortly after my divorce was final,
                                     enough to learn that there were any number of strange men I wouldn’t
     “Together  we                   go out with again, let alone introduce to my kids. But when you go out
                                     as a single parent you have to decide what to tell your kids about where
      create  more                   you are going. Plus, I also knew that I needed to be more responsible
                                     about dating and late nights than when I was younger; my teenagers
     possibilites”                   would be learning from my example.
                                         One evening after a coffee date, I got home much later then I had
                                     originally planned to find my daughter waiting for me with a look of
                                     disdain. She said, “You cannot expect me to call you when I am going
                                     to be late, if you do not do the same for me.” Suddenly my daughter
                                     became the mother and I became the child. That was quite a reality
                Find us on           check, and to some extent, she was right. So moving forward, I made
                Facebook             sure to set the right example in my dating life.
            TEC Interns
                                         What also became clear to me was the change in how my children
                                     would see me and how I would see myself. I would always be a parent,
                                     but how do you balance that with also being a woman? Not so simple.
                                     Whatever decision I made could be the wrong one.
            Follow us on:                This became abundantly clear when I met the right man a year after
                                     my divorce. It was certainly difficult to introduce him to my two sons,
            twitter
                                     but the real challenge was introducing him to my teenage daughter.
          TEC Internships            She was less than amused at the prospect of meeting him. I was not
                                     sure why, but it was a difficult first meeting.
                                         Over time, I learned that her discomfort about meeting him was
         Visit  our  website         connected to her fear of more changes in her life. At that point, I un-
      for  more  information.        derstood that the biggest anxiety in divorce is the fear of change. And
      Contact  Sherri  Sigel  at     no matter what, change was always going to be in the air. And kids will
       ssigel@tec-­coop.org          learn how to adjust.”


32   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
their rooms or watch TV in the den (while doing their best
                                                                    to ignore me), I just tell them that their presence is important
                                                                    to me.
                                                                        Nothing can replace face-to-face interactions with my teen-
                                                                    age daughters. Although I work in social media for a living,
                                                                    I never communicate with them through social media. I oc-
                                          PAREN T                   casionally check Facebook to see what they are doing, but the
                                                                    last thing they want is their dad communicating with them in a
                                          TED                       visible format. When necessary, I send texts. And of course, I
                                          RUBIN                     call them. Although they rarely check email, I always send one
                                                                    before I fly to tell them I love them, so they will always know.
                                                                    Our most important moments are in person, when I am truly


   “W
                                                                    paying attention and being involved in what they do.
                                                                        Due to my work in social media marketing, I’ve built deep,
                 ith divorce, most dads are not the custodial       rewarding relationships with many mom bloggers. Because
parent, and therefore, the dad has little or no control over the    I reveal my status as a divorced dad of teenage girls, moms
daily decisions. For many reasons, dads may allow the mom           share valuable advice that I hope has made me a better, more
to be the custodial parent due to financial necessity and lack of    sensitive and insightful dad. I have been asked, “If you had just
comfort with being the primary caretaker. Often attorneys and       one hour with your girls, what would you do?” At this point,
psychologists advise this traditional route.                        I would choose anything that I could do “with” them. When
    I believe that dads should do whatever it takes to get full     they were young, and I had a real choice, I would choose swim-
joint legal and physical custody, even if equal splitting of time   ming because it was so interactive. Now, I make myself avail-
means not having a “primary” home. Many psychologists               able when any opportunity presents itself.
advise against this and recommend that the child should have            Being an involved dad has changed my life. Everything I
a primary residence, but I disagree. Don’t be left out of your      do is all about what I can do for my kids and how I can make
kids’ lives. Step up and commit to being available for your chil-   the world and their lives better. In business, I preach about the
dren right from the beginning. Be a steady influence in their        importance of relationships. I hope to pass this legacy on to my
lives so that when they are teens, and they pull away for their     girls: It’s All About Relationships.
own reasons, you remain a constant enduring presence.                   My dreams have changed because of being a dad. My
    I learned that no matter what it took, I needed to stay in-     dream day now is skiing with my girls and having them truly
volved and be a steady presence. When my daughters got older        want to be physically on the slopes with me, just like when
and their feelings grew more complicated than a simple ‘I love      they were younger. I want my daughters to know that I love
my Daddy no matter what,” parenting became much more dif-           them unconditionally. And my hope for them is to make a
ficult. But, no matter what, I stayed present. Now, when they        difference in the lives of others, even if only with a smile and
ask why they have to be at my house when all they do is stay in     kindness.”


    Commit to being available for your children right from the beginning.



                                                                       “D           ivorce does not always have to be a bad thing.
                                                                    While it can be very upsetting and challenging, attitude can
                                                                    make a big difference. When I was in seventh grade, my par-
                                                                    ents separated, and my mom moved out shortly afterwards.
                                                                    At first it was hard to bear, but then I got used to my living
                                                                    situation, and now I cannot imagine living any other way.
                                                                        It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and I was about to
                                          TEEN                      go over to a friend’s house when my parents sat my siblings
                                          ANNIE                     and me down at the kitchen table. They seemed uncomfort-
                                                                    able, and I knew something wasn’t right, but I tried to stay
                                          CART ER                   optimistic. Hesitantly, they announced that they were get-
                                                                    ting a divorce and that at the end of the school year, my mom


                                                                                                      SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   33
PROFESSIONAL ADVICE:
                                     By Dr. Amy Lee, Pediatric Psychologist at the Center for
                                     Pediatric Behavioral Health, Cleveland Clinic Children’s Hospital
                                     Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine.




                                    “A
                                                                            many families. When pain and conflict are too chal-
                                                                            lenging for mediation, collaborative-minded attorneys
                                                                            for each parent can work together to resolve conflicts
                                                 s these per-
                                                                            around parenting.
     sonal stories illustrate, divorce is a complex and painful
     experience. Children live through so many emotions over
                                                                                 Parents also eventually need to move on to de-
     the changes divorce brings to their lives: loss, conflict,
                                                                            velop new relationships. Some parents might re-enter
     anxiety, and sadness. Parents suffer similarly, and for all
                                                                            the dating world, and some might even remarry. The
     involved, these feelings can change over time.
                                                                            needs of the children involved become very important
                                                                            here as well. Parents should care for their relationships
          Despite the challenges, parents can reduce tension
                                                                            with their children during and after divorce. Continu-
     by helping their kids experience their own adjustment
                                                                            ing to communicate with teens about their feelings
     without involving them in the spousal conflict. Two fac-
                                                                            and the changes in the family is critical.
     tors that protect kids through divorce are consistent,
     loving relationships with their parents and protection
                                                                                 Parents may find it best to share their plans to
     from parents’ emotional conflicts. As the teens point
                                                                            begin dating before introducing their kids to anyone
     out, many kids find their own form of resilience and
                                                                            new. A child who is unable to discuss a parent’s dating
     forgiveness, but parents make the road easier when they
                                                                            is probably not ready to meet a parent’s new friend,
     manage their own emotions, take a child-centered
                                                                            but when the child is ready, introduce the new person
     approach to the divorce process, and seek collaborative
                                                                            gradually and according to the child’s needs.
     ways to negotiate with their ex-spouse.
                                                                                 Although divorce is always difficult, it can result in
          Teens navigating divorce will often use resources
                                                                            new and healthy family relationships. Parents can find
     outside of their immediate family for support, turning
                                                                            ways to navigate the process collaboratively if they
     to supportive friends, coaches, therapists, or teachers
                                                                            place their children’s needs at the forefront. Children
     who can offer understanding and validation. Children of
                                                                            can emerge from the divorce experience resilient and
     all ages may feel the need to protect their parents from
                                                                            able to cope with challenges that they will encounter
     their emotions; so having healthy outlets for expressing
                                                                            in their own relationships.”
     their grief, anger, and sadness can relieve a great burden.
     Some teens might not work through their personal
     experience by talking about their adjustment. For these
     teens, involvement with friends and activities may be
     more helpful. Regardless of the path chosen, protecting
     teens from their parents’ emotional conflicts frees them
     to sort out their personal feelings about the changes in
     their family.

           Parents can learn to let go of their anger, hurt,
     disappointment, and sadness by allowing themselves
     to grieve as well. Parents should seek guidance with a
     trained professional if it becomes too difficult to manage
     alone. As the legal system can be inherently adversarial,
     it is also important for parents to seek legal advice that
     is more collaborative in nature. Mediation or a newer
     form of collaborative law may be the best option for




34   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
would move out.
    I was shocked; I hadn’t seen it
coming. Sure, they fought sometimes,
but I knew most parents fought one
time or another. I managed to keep it
together downstairs, but when I was
back in my room the tears came like a
flood. I called my friend immediately,
but I was crying too hard to even get
the words out. The next day at school,
I told more of my friends. They were
all very supportive, and by the end of
the day, I was already feeling much
better. The rest of the school year is
sort of a blur to me—I don’t remem-
ber much. As soon as school ended my
mom moved out.
    All of a sudden, the situation
became very real. I had two houses,
two rooms, and two separate families.
While the change was difficult to get
used to, I soon realized I didn’t have
it nearly as bad as some other kids
with divorced parents. First of all, my
mom’s job forced her to travel a lot,
so I was already somewhat used to not
being with both parents all the time.
For at least the past year, my mom
had been out of town for roughly half
of the week, so it didn’t feel unnatural
not to be with both of my parents for
the entire week.
    Transitioning between the two
houses was more of a challenge, but
my mom moved only two blocks down
the street from my dad, so it was fairly
manageable.
    My parents have also maintained
a very civil relationship to this day;
they’re not like some divorced couples
                                                                    mer Studio
who refuse to even speak to each                  Pre-College Sum
                                                                    Arts
other. The more I looked at my situ-              Bachelor of Fine
                                                                   ma
                                                  All-Studio Diplo
ation from a larger perspective, the
more I realized how fortunate I was.                        ree
    Overall, I have come out with a               Dual Deg
relatively positive outlook on my ex-
perience. While the changes that came       Talk to us about
with my parents’ divorce were hard          scheduling a visit.
to accept at first, I came to realize that
even tough situations can still turn out    Admissions
all right.                                  230 The Fenway,
    I have been lucky enough to main-       Boston, MA 02115
tain good relationships with both           admissions@smfa.edu
parents, and the good relationship          617-369-3626
they maintained with each other made
the transition easier on my siblings
and me. In the end, I have learned that
in situations such as this, I could dwell
on how life could be, or accept how it
is, and make the best of it.”


                                                                                 SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   35
The Bonus Parent                                                                                                       BY TAM I B UTCH ER
                                                                                                    Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine.


                   y 14-year-old fresh-          no visitation fights; we saw Mom when               President. Bonus Mom Nancy was a
                   man daughter                  we wanted and Dad when we wanted.                  stay-at-home mom who taught us the
                   enjoyed her first              No this weekend here, that Wednes-                 meaning of a handwritten card versus
                   homecoming this               day there. We lived in both houses and             an email or text message. Mom took us
                   fall. On the big night,       they never talked badly about each                 to banquets for senators; Nancy took
                   she was giddy, so ex-         other around us. We actually thought               us to book signings and plays. Taking
cited, and to top it off, the boy of her         they were still best of friends. They set          the great from both ladies, my sisters
dreams asked her to go. I had forgot-            their egos aside. It was obvious that              and I became strong, independent
ten those feelings until now. For me,            they were committed to making our                  leaders in high school, who ran for
it was a flashback to that special time           lives easier, and it worked.                       Student Council but sat with the
during my own teen years. She walked                                                                person at lunch who was eating alone.
down the stairs to a veritable sea of                 Mom remarried Ken. I found it dif-            Both women molded us into the
eyes— two grandparents, two bonus                ficult to love him at first because I felt           people we are today and shaped
grandparents, one sister, one brother,           guilty; I loved my dad so much. Ken                how we raise our children.
neighbors, my husband, and myself.               understood and told us he was not our
                                                 dad, and that he could never replace                    That’s why I am the luckiest per-
     This was one of those moments I             our dad.                                           son in the world. I grew up with a bo-
had talked about with my kids. I always                                                             nus family, with all its bonus benefits
told them how lucky they were to have                 He just wanted to fill the parental            that trickle down into the balanced
so much family to help them celebrate            void when our dad was not around.                  environment I try to provide for my
those moments in life. Watching my               This communication was so important.               teenage kids.
daughter’s four grandparents—my own
mom and dad, plus my bonus mom                        Dad met Nancy when I was 14.                       While most children of divorce
(father’s wife) and bonus dad (moth-             She was nothing like Mom. Mom was                  have memories of sorrow and a sense
er’s husband)—relish in the joy of her           a businesswoman, savvy and sleek.                  of loss, I am the opposite.
first homecoming, I felt that she was             Nancy loved the outdoors, animals,
so lucky to have so many people who              and a great book. I loved her immedi-                    People think my life is unrealistic.
loved her so much. And, I realized then          ately. She exuded warmth to everyone               I think anger and bitterness are a state
that I was also lucky, for as unorthodox         she met. Nancy made it clear she was               of mind that we can change at any
and rare as my upbringing may seem               here to love our dad and us, not to                time. My upbringing showed me that
to others, it was a gift to me.                  replace Mom. I believe that once both              I am in control of my own destiny and
                                                 my parents found happiness, life got               happiness, nobody else. My parents
     Surely this sounds strange. Yes,            much better for everyone.                          put their children first; their selfless-
my 11-year-old life was turned upside                                                               ness made me a better person. I am
down when my parents got divorced,                    My mom never felt threatened by               grateful for the many “bonuses” in my
but I can now describe this as “lucky”           Nancy; she felt relief—relief that when            life and that I can pass them along as
because I know that my parents were              she was called into work, Nancy could              gifts to my own children.
not happy together. Some people are              cheer us on at our softball games,
just not meant to be. They married               relief that when State Legislative ses-
young and had three children under               sions fell into days with no breaks,
the age of three by the time they were           Nancy had an eye on her teenage girls,
21 years old. They could have been un-           making sure they were staying out of
happy for years, filtering that unhappi-          trouble and the boys were standing
ness down to my two younger sisters              clear. The gaps of a working mother
and me, making all our lives miserable.          were filled in by the love of a stay-at-
Instead, they broke ties early and let           home bonus mom, and we appreciated
everyone get on with our lives.                  and noticed it.

     My parents made a commitment                     Mom was a successful business-
to make the divorce as easy as pos-              woman who taught us how to fill out
sible, especially for us girls. There were       a resume and run for Student Body




Tami Butcher, the author of My Bonus Mom! Taking the Step out of Stepmom, and her husband,
Mike, have three children—ages 7, 10, and 14. For more information, go to www.mybonusmombook.com.

36    LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
night, I saw my mom pack up all of my father’s things and
                                                                               give them to one of his friends to take to him.
                                                                                   After my father officially moved out of our house, he filed
                                                 TEEN                          the divorce proposal, and the three-year court battle began.
                                                 MORGAN                        As the weeks played out, I saw my mom go to court over the
                                                                               things that she needed to take care of us that my father was
                                                 T HOMAS                       trying to deny her.


   “D
                                                                                   The whole process seemed endless, and as I watched it
                                                                               unfold, I saw my father put more challenges in front of my
                ivorce was never real to me until my parents were              mom. My mom wasn’t fighting for everything my dad owned
actually filing. This experience solidified divorce in my world as               or anything absurd, she was simply fighting for what she
something that can be both liberating and limiting. Divorce breaks             needed to pay for health insurance, doctors and orthodontist
the chains that hold people back from what they truly want, while              appointments, and other basic needs.
creating new burdens that hadn’t existed before the break.                         In the end, my mom was able to obtain the legal agreement
    When I first found out about my parents’ problems, which                    that my father couldn’t run off and leave her to care for all
mainly were caused by my father’s affair, I was devastated and just            three of us without his just contribution. However, that still
shut down. I don’t know what I had expected to happen, but I only              hasn’t stopped him from trying to evade his responsibilities
hoped that it was best for them both. They went to counseling, and             even now.
I saw my mom really try to work things out, but this effort was in                 I cannot truly say that I’m not mad at my Dad for what
vain due to my father’s perception that he’d done nothing wrong.               he’s done to my family, but I can say that I have forgiven him
Once I realized his lack of remorse, I couldn’t hold back all of the           and moved on, despite all the pain he still causes me with his
anger I felt towards him.                                                      actions and attitudes. Even when things are really hard to
    Throughout the whole divorce process, I felt hurt and sick-                deal with, I am thankful that my family is blessed enough in
ened by him. He continued to be self-righteous, and sadly, on the              the simplest of ways. Even now that my family is small and
Fourth of July, his affair, which we thought he had put to rest, was           broken, the peace that comes with the separation is something
fully exposed as we returned home from a baseball game. That                   that would have never happened without the divorce.”




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                       SUMMER TO STAND OUT FOR COLLEGE?
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                                                                                                                   SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   37
S P E C I A L P R O M OT I O N




         The Camp-College Connection
                                                    HOW OVERNIGHT CAMP
                                                 PREPARES TEENS FOR COLLEGE
                                                                                                     By Lucy Norvell
                                                                      of the American Camp Association, New England

                                             A teen’s first experience living away from home builds
                                             a tremendous foundation for the transition to college.
                                             Summer Camps are intentional communities that are not
                                             only designed to foster optimal youth development, but
                                             also provide opportunities for personal growth in a fun,
                                             safe, and educational environment.


Of course, there are many benefits to attending a struc-                   camps provide authentic and meaningful decision-
tured camp program at any age, but here are four key                      making opportunities for teens. All of these ma-
ways they help teens prep for campus life:                                jor—and minor—choices can be precursors to the
                                                                          types of decisions college students face.
     Separation—Whether the session length is two weeks
     or the entire summer, overnight camp provides a trial                Collaboration—21st century skills are vital for teens
     separation from parents. In many cases, campers will                 to be productive members of society and the
     be living away from home for the first time, which                    workforce today. The ability to collaborate with
     can be a big step for many teens. This trial period                  people who may come from very different back-
     can alleviate much of the emotional stress faced by                  grounds is just one of those skills. Living, playing,
     freshmen “leaving the nest” and beginning their first                 learning, and working together at summer camp
     year of college.                                                     provides excellent groundwork for group academic
                                                                          assignments that have become increasingly more
     Independence—It’s certainly a long journey from                      prevalent at college.
     birth to full-blown independence. At camp, young
     people are charged with taking care of themselves              The Camp-College connection is significant. The “learn-
     and their belongings. In addition, they must organize          ing by doing” that summer programs offer is instru-
     their day-to-day activities and manage their personal          mental in helping teens navigate college—and beyond!
     relationships with peers. Simply put, the camp expe-
     rience is all about youth independence, which makes            To find a camp using the ACA’s online camp search tool
     for an easier transition to college. Your son or daugh-        and read more about why every child deserves a camp
     ter will arrive at college with tried and true systems         experience, visit www.campparents.org.
     for not only managing their schedules and lifestyle,
     but also for getting along with others. And learning
     how to navigate emotional and social issues at camp
     is valuable groundwork for college friendships.

     Individual Decision-Making—Campers have to make
     both large and small decisions, and then deal with
                                                                    Lucy Norvell is the Director of Public Information for the American Camp
     the consequences of these decisions. From the
                                                                    Association, New England, a 501(c)(3) organization that serves as the
     power to choose an elective activity (for example,             leading source for summer camp information and resources in CT, MA, ME,
     whether to try something new or stick with a favorite          NH, RI, and VT. Contact www.acanewengland.org to discover how to find
     hobby) or the ability to create a menu for the day,            the best-fit camp for your teen.


38   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
DIRECTORY


Categories                                      SMART TRACK™ TOOLKIT’S
                                                                                                   DINING O U T
                                                COLLEGE ADMISSIONS
                                                BOOTCAMP
We are pleased to provide you with                                                               UNO CHICAGO GRILL
                                                The Smart Track™ Toolkit helps high
a comprehensive Directory of local              school families with the entire college          Uno Chicago Grill has been a favorite
and national programs, schools,                 admissions and planning process. Students        for delicious pizza, but we do so much
colleges, and regional services and             will leave the Bootcamp with a completed         more! Uno is proud to support local
                                                admissions essay, list of schools, financial      communities with our Dough Rai$ers
businesses that meet the needs of
                                                aid strategies, a head start on the rest         fundraising program for non-profits. To
families with teens.                                                                             date, we’ve donated more than $4 million
                                                of their peers, and more!
                                                Contact: Jay Robie, (508) 533-3055 x277,         dollars! Host an event at your local Uno
College Resources                                                                                and earn up to 20% of sales generated from
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Colleges                                        Location: Babson College, MA                     guests to support your cause. Call today and
                                                www.smarttracktoolkit.com/bootcamp               start making money for your organization!
Dining Out                                                                                       Contact: Nami Zylbersztajn,
                                                                                                 (516) 504-8649, nami.zylber@unos.com
Health Services
                                                                                                 Locations: 25 Unos locations in
Independent Advisors                              CO L L E G E S                                 Greater Boston
                                                                                                 www.unos.com
Independent Schools
                                                BERKLEE COLLEGE OF MUSIC
Local Programs & Classes
                                                Berklee College of Music was founded on
Overnight Summer &                              the revolutionary principal that the best          H E ALT H S E RVICE S
  Gap Year Programs                             way to prepare students for careers in
                                                music is through the study and practice
Recreation & Entertainment                                                                       THE LANDING AT MCLEAN
                                                of contemporary music.
                                                Contact: Admissions Office, (800) 237-5533,      HOSPITAL
Shopping
                                                admissions@berklee.edu                           The Landing at McLean Hospital is a four-
Tutoring & Test Prep                            Location: Boston, MA                             to six-week residential treatment program
                                                www.berklee.edu                                  for adolescents (up to age 19) struggling
                                                                                                 with substance abuse and psychiatric illness.
  COL L E G E RE SOU R C E S                                                                     Individuals are treated by expert Harvard
                                                ITHACA COLLEGE SCHOOL                            affiliated clinical staff.
AMERICAN COUNCIL ON                             OF MUSIC                                         Contact: (877) 412-3445,
                                                Since its founding in 1892 as a conserva-        mcleanlanding@mclean.harvard.edu
EDUCATION (ACE)
                                                tory, the Ithaca College School of Music         Location: Belmont, MA
ACE is the only higher education organiza-                                                       www.mcleanlanding.org
                                                has earned the reputation as one of the best
tion that represents presidents and chancel-
                                                in the nation. It offers world-class faculty,
lors of all types of U.S. accredited, degree-
                                                performance opportunities, updated facilities,
granting institutions: community colleges
                                                liberal arts courses, and career placement.
and four-year institutions, private and
                                                Contact: Thomas Kline, Director of                 INDE PE NDE N T ADV IS O RS
public universities, and non-profit and
                                                Music Admissions, (607) 274-3171,
for-profit colleges.
                                                music@ithaca.edu
Contact: Carolyn Stanek Lucy,                                                                    ACADEMIC LIFE COACHING
                                                Location: Ithaca, NY
Associate Director, National Initiatives,
                                                www.ithaca.edu/music                             Individually tailored for each teen, this
(202) 939-9358, cstaneklucy@acenet.edu
Location: Washington, D.C.                                                                       one-on-one life coaching program empow-
www.acenet.edu                                                                                   ers students with a set of skills and tools to
                                                SCHOOL OF THE MUSEUM OF                          help them become academically efficient,
                                                FINE ARTS, BOSTON (SMFA)                         emotionally self-aware, and personally
CITIZENS BANK                                                                                    confident.
                                                One of only three art schools in the U.S. af-    Contact: Gina Halsted, (781) 258-9085,
Citizens Bank is committed to making            filiated with a major museum—the Museum
education affordable by offering banking                                                         ghalsted@comcast.net
                                                of Fine Arts, Boston—the SMFA’s mission          Location: Lincoln, MA
and borrowing products that help college        is to provide an interdisciplinary fine arts
students finance their education. Our TruFit                                                      www.alcteen.com
                                                education that values cultural, artistic, and
Student Loan® is available with a fixed or       intellectual diversity.
variable rate option, and repayment options     Contact: Admissions Office, (800) 643-6078
to best fit a student’s needs.                   or (617) 369-3626, admissions@smfa.edu
Contact: Education Finance Specialists,         Location: Boston, MA
(800) 708-6684,                                                                                      TURN PAGE FOR
                                                www.smfa.edu
educationfinance@citizensbank.com                                                                     MORE LISTINGS!
www.citizensbank.com/trufitstudentloan
                                                                                                                SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   39
DIRECTORY


AMG EDUCATIONAL                                  POPP & ASSOCIATES, LLC                            BOSTON ARCHITECTURAL
CONSULTANTS                                      Popp & Associates provides expert admis-          COLLEGE SUMMER ACADEMY
Counseling in college and independent            sions guidance to college-bound students of       Spend four weeks this summer exploring
school placement since 1988, Andrea              all ages. We are committed to supporting          architecture and design through hands-on
Glovsky has successfully helped hundreds         students and families in a sensitive and hon-     projects in the Boston Architectural College
of students by matching their interests and      est manner, and personalize our services to       design studios in Boston’s Back Bay.
abilities to the most appropriate school.        address students’ individual needs and goals.     Construct scale models and experiment
Guidance is provided face-to-face or elec-       Contact: Mindy Popp, (781) 859-9116,              with a wide range of materials and
tronically by a combination of phone, email,     mpopp@poppandassociates.com                       design methods.
and Skype. Local, regional, and interna-         Location: Wellesley Hills, MA                     Contact: Nadine Gerdts or Jennie Pardoe,
tional clients served.                           www.poppandassociates.com                         (617) 585-0101, summer@the-bac.edu
Contact: Andrea Glovsky, (978) 526-7809,                                                           Location: Boston, MA
amglovsky@comcast.net                                                                              www.the-bac.edu/summer
Locations: Beverly and Manchester, MA
www.findingcolleges.com                             I NDE P E N DE NT S CH O O LS
                                                                                                   BOSTON BALLET SCHOOL
                                                 LANDMARK SCHOOL                                   Boston Ballet School has a long-standing
ARTSBRIDGE, LLC                                  Founded in 1971, Landmark School offers           dedication to excellence and access, and
ArtsBridge is an educational consulting firm      a full range of personalized programs             reaches more than 10,000 students ages 9
specializing in helping high school and and      for students in grades 2 through 12 with          months to adult each year through classes,
college transfer students in the performing      language-based learning disabilities, such as     our Summer Dance Workshop, Summer
arts navigate through the unique college         dyslexia. Landmark is situated on two beau-       Dance Program, Citydance, Taking Steps,
application and audition process. Summer         tiful campuses 25 miles north of Boston.          and Adaptive Dance.
programs available.                              Contact: Carol Bedrosian, (978) 236-3000,         Contact: School Administrator, Boston
Contact: (855) 778-ARTS or (855) 778-2787,       admission@landmarkschool.org                      (617) 456-6260; Marblehead (617) 456-6380;
info@artsbridge.com                              Locations: Manchester-by-the-Sea and              Newton (617) 456-6263;
Locations: Various program locations             Prides Crossing, MA                               school@bostonballet.org
in the Greater Boston area                       www.landmarkschool.org                            Locations: Boston, Marblehead,
www.artsbridge.com                                                                                 and Newton, MA
                                                                                                   www.bostonballet.org/school
                                                 NOBLE AND GREENOUGH
COLLEGE COACH                                    SCHOOL
College Coach is the recognized leader in        The Noble and Greenough School is a               ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE
educational advising, offering step-by-step      rigorous academic community dedicated             PROGRAM
guidance and insider knowledge from for-         to inspiring leadership for the public good.      The Environmental Science Program is a
mer senior admissions officers, to assist high   Nobles is a coeducational, nonsectarian day       unique camp for girls and boys entering
school students and their families through       and five-day boarding school for students          grades 7 - 10. Students learn about the
the college admissions process.                  in grades 7 through 12.                           environment by hiking, biking, canoeing,
Contact: Erica Blades, Manager of                Contact: Jennifer Hines, (781) 320-7100,          doing an environmental cleanup project,
Client Services, (877) 40-COACH or               admission@nobles.edu                              and climbing Mt. Washington.
(877) 402-6224,                                  Location: Dedham, MA                              Contact: David Backer, Executive Director,
erica.blades@getintocollege.com                  www.nobles.edu                                    (617) 969-0288, contact@newtonenvisci.org
Locations: Newton, MA plus 12 other                                                                Location: Newton, MA
offices nationwide                                                                                 www.newtonenvisci.org
www.getintocollege.com
                                                   LO C A L PRO G RAMS &
                                                   C L ASS E S
                                                                                                   INTERNSHIP CONNECTION
ONE-ON-ONE COLLEGE
CONSULTING                                                                                         Internship Connection is a structured,
                                                 BEAVER SUMMER PROGRAMS                            educational program that provides high
One-on-One College Consulting is a               Beaver Summer Programs offer teens a              school and college students with real-world
private, comprehensive educational consult-      variety of summer specialty camp opportu-         career experience through summer and gap
ing service that specializes in guiding high     nities through one- or two-week intensive         year internships. Students live at home and
school students and their families in explor-    experiences in the arts, athletics, or outdoors   work in part-time positions matched to
ing options, and making informed decisions       adventures. Specific programs include              their career interests.
regarding the college admissions process.        Simply Circus, Beaver Off-Broadway,               Contact: Dr. Carole Jabbawy,
Contact: Kim Penney, (781) 246-4111,             High Adventure, and Extreme Sports.               (617) 796-9283,
kimpenney@oneononecollegeconsulting.com          Contact: Nat Saltonstall, (617) 738-2750,         carole@internshipconnection.com
Location: Wakefield, MA                           camp@bcdschool.org                                Locations: Boston, MA and New York, NY
www.oneononecollegeconsulting.com                Location: Beaver Country Day School in            www.internshipconnection.com
                                                 Chestnut Hill, MA
                                                 www.bcdcamp.org
40    LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
MEADOWBROOK SUMMER
PROGRAMS: TEEN TRIPPING
PROGRAM
A series of one-week programs designed
for young teens completing 7th or 8th             Uno is proud to support the local communities
grade. Join your teammates as you go                it serves with our Dough Rai$ers program.
on fun, challenging day trips such as
sea kayaking, hiking, visiting Project          To date, we’ve donated over $4 million to deserving
Adventure, white water rafting, surfing,                organizations! Host a lunch or dinner
and more.                                           at a local Uno and earn up to 20% of sales
Contact: Renee Mitchell, (781) 647-0546,
camp@meadowbrook-ma.org                                        generated from guests.
Location: Newton, MA
www.daycamp.meadowbrook-ma.org


URBANFRAME -
SUMMER YOUTH COMMUNITY
DESIGN/BUILD
URBANFRAME offers teens a unique
hands-on introduction to design and                       Contact Nami Zylbersztajn at
architecture. Based at MIT and under the             561-504-8649 or nami.zylber@unos.com.
guidance of an architecture professor and
team of graduate students, youth design,       START MAKING MONEY FOR YOUR NON-PROFIT TODAY.
build, and install real architecture for the
community.
Contact: Daniel Hewett, (617) 444-9904,
dmh@urbanframe.org
Location: Cambridge, MA
www.urbanframe.org


WRITE FOR COLLEGE
Write for College is a three-week, two-
hours-a-day writing course for students
entering grades 10, 11, or 12. All forms of
writing are covered, with emphasis on
essays, plus preparation for SAT, ACT,
MCAS, and for seniors, the personal
college essay.
Contact: Don Stewart, (617) 489-5662,
donstewarts@gmail.com
Location: Belmont, MA
www.writeforcollege.com




     To showcase your
    business or service
      in the Life with
  Teens Directory contact
    sales@teenlife.com.

                                                                                    SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   41
DIRECTORY


  OV E RN I G HT S U M M E R                      PEOPLE TO PEOPLE LEADER-                        BOSTON BALLET
  & GA P YE A R P RO GR AMS                       SHIP AMBASSADOR PROGRAMS                        Since 1963, Boston Ballet has been one of
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ASPIRE BY API                                     gain valuable leadership skills, explore        Under the leadership of Artistic Director
Trek through jungles, climb volcanoes, and        careers, and prepare for college, while earn-   Mikko Nissinen and Executive Director
volunteer in Costa Rica! Explore the medi-        ing academic credit and making friends with     Barry Hughson, the Company maintains an
eval cities, castles, and cathedrals of Europe!   students from around the globe.                 internationally acclaimed repertoire.
Brush up on the French, Irish, Italian, or        Contact: Natasha Porter, (888) 275-5061,        Contact: Box Office, (617) 695-6955,
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Locations: Costa Rica, England, France,
Ireland, Italy, and Spain
www.aspirebyapi.com                               SUMMER ACADEMY IN APPLIED                       THE MALL AT CHESTNUT HILL
                                                  SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY                            Taste, smell, touch, see, and shop The
CARPE DIEM EDUCATION                              (SAAST)                                         Mall at Chestnut Hill—intercontinental
Carpe Diem’s study abroad programs are                                                            cuisine, fresh flowers, supple leathers, exotic
                                                  The Summer Academy in Applied Science           perfumes, and fine merchandise at the only
designed to safely challenge every student.       & Technology (SAAST) at the University
Through service, travel, and community and                                                        Bloomingdale’s in New England, Michael
                                                  of Pennsylvania welcomes highly motived         Kors, Tiffany & Co., L’occitane, Apple
cultural exchange, our students receive a         and talented students to explore engineering
unique and personal insight into themselves                                                       Computer, and more.
                                                  at the college level, combining sophisticated   Contact: (617) 965-3038
and the cultures they live within and explore.    theory with hands-on, practical experience
College credit is available through Portland                                                      Location: Chestnut Hill, MA
                                                  in cutting-edge technologies.                   www.simon.com
State University.                                 Contact: Paige Harker, (215) 898-0053,
Contact: Ethan Knight, (503) 285-1800,            saast@seas.upenn.edu
info@carpediemeducation.org                       Location: Philadelphia, PA
Locations: Australia, Brazil, Cambodia,           www.seas.upenn.edu/saast                          T U TO RING & T E ST P RE P
Costa Rica, Ecuador, Fiji, Honduras, Hopi
Nation, India, Navajo Nation, New Zealand,
Nicaragua, Peru, Rwanda, Tanzania,                                                                THE PRINCETON REVIEW
Thailand, Uganda, and Vietnam                       R E C R E AT IO N &
                                                                                                  No matter what your goals are, we have over
www.carpediemeducation.org                          E N T E RTA INME NT
                                                                                                  30 years of experience offering leading SAT,
                                                                                                  ACT, and PSAT prep courses and tutoring
EARTHCONNECT COSTA                                5 WITS, FEATURING ESPIONAGE                     programs designed to provide a complete
RICAN ADVENTURES                                  AND 20,000 LEAGUES                              and personalized experience that fits your
                                                  5 Wits is a one-of-a-kind attraction in         learning style, schedule, and budget.
EarthConnect is a fusion between a camp                                                           Contact: Shannon Shepardson,
and abroad experience in one of Earth’s most      Patriot Place, Foxborough. 5 Wits is an
                                                  interactive adventure, offering multiple        (800) 447-0254, infoboston@review.com
splendid places. Each two-, three-, or four-                                                      Locations: Newton, MA; Online
week adventure features cultural immersion,       puzzles and obstacles in a real life, highly
                                                  detailed environment. 5 Wits features two       www.princetonreview.com
service, wilderness exploration, and educa-
tion. Join us for an unforgettable summer!        attractions: Espionage and 20,000 Leagues.
Contact: Wendy Brown, (800) 551-7887,             Contact: Joe Botsch, (508) 698-1600 x607,
                                                                                                  VERITAS TUTORS
wendy@costaricanadventures.com                    jbotsch@5-wits.com
Location: Costa Rica                              Location: Foxborough, MA                        Veritas specializes in subject tutoring,
www.costaricanadventures.com                      www.5-wits.com                                  test preparation, and college admissions
                                                                                                  consultation. With personalized coaching
                                                                                                  from outstanding educators at Harvard and
EMERSON COLLEGE SUMMER                            ARTSBOSTON                                      MIT, as well as a staff of former Ivy League
PROGRAMS                                          ArtsBoston is the region’s largest and most     Admissions Officers, Veritas will help you
Explore communication and the arts in a           comprehensive non-profit arts service            achieve your academic potential.
summer program at Emerson College. Five-          organization. With innovative programs like     Contact: Adrian Jones, (617) 395-4160,
week programs include: stage design, musical      ArtsBoston.org and BosTix discount ticket-      info@veritutors.com
theatre performance, acting, filmmaking,           ing, patrons benefit from our commitment to      Locations: Cambridge, MA; Online
creative writing, and film production. The         keeping the arts accessible and affordable.     www.veritutors.com
college also offers two-week programs in          Contact: Customer Service, (617) 262-8632
political communication and journalism.           x229, customerservice@artsboston.org
Contact: Tori Weston, (617) 824-8280,             Location: Boston, MA
continuing@emerson.edu                            www.artsboston.org
Location: Boston, MA
www.emerson.edu/ce
HAPPENING




Mark your calendars!
Here are some family-friendly events to enjoy in Greater Boston this summer.


                        JUNE                                             JULY
                        Thursday, June 28 – Wednesday, July 4            Tuesday, July 3
                        Boston Harborfest                                Boston Pops Warm-Up
                        Various locations around Boston                  Concert
                        Boston Harborfest is a six-day long Fourth       The Charles River Esplanade, Boston
                        of July festival that showcases the colonial     4:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m
                        and maritime heritage of the historic City of    Get a sneak peak at the Pops Goes the
                        Boston. The festival honors and remembers        Fourth Spectacular at this free dress
                        the past, celebrates the present, and educates   rehearsal performance by the Charles.
                        about the future with reenactments, concerts,    Stick around for the huge fireworks
                        historical tours, and more.                      display over the river in a grand finale.
                        www.bostonharborfest.com                         www.celebrateboston.com/july-4th.htm
DAVID FOX




                                                                                   SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS   43
Sunday, July 8
                                   Vintage Baseball Tournaments
                                                                                    AUGUST

     Sign up at                    Georges Island, Boston
                                   11:00 a.m. – 3:30 p.m.
                                   Step into the 1860’s and watch Civil
                                                                                    Saturday, August 4
                                                                                    The City-Wide Book Sale
                                                                                    Boston Public Library Central Branch
                                   War-era baseball games played at historic        10:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.
                                   Fort Warren with original rules and uni-


TeenLife
                                   forms. Also running Sunday, August 19.           The City-Wide Friends of the Boston Pub-
                                   www.bostonharborislands.org/                     lic Library host a sale of donated books. All
                                   park-calendar                                    proceeds benefit the Boston Public Library.
                                                                                    www.bpl.org/news/calendar.htm
        .commag                   Sunday, July 15 – Tuesday, July 17
                                                                                    Saturday, August 11
                                   South Shore Arts Festival
                                   Cohasset                                         1st Annual Boston Tee Party &
                                                                                    Design/Artist Expo
        to keep                    South Shore Art Center Arts Festival
                                   celebrates its 57th year and showcases artists
                                                                                    Boston Teacher’s Union Hall, Boston
                                                                                    The Tee Gazette will join local and national
      getting your                 from New England and beyond. The Arts
                                   Festival features almost one hundred juried      indie t-shirt brands, designers, and artists at




        free
                                   exhibitor booths, a juried art exhibition and    the first annual Boston Tee Party & Design/
                                   members’ show, live music performances,          Artist Expo to showcase their latest designs.
                                   artist demonstrations, children’s art activi-    www.teegazette.com/2012/03/update-on-
                                   ties, and a young artist exhibition.             the-boston-tee-party
                                   www.ssac.org/festival.asp
                                                                                    Thursday, August 16 – Saturday, August 18
     subscription of               Wednesday, July 25 – Sunday, August 12
                                   (Tuesday – Sunday evenings)
                                                                                    Boston GreenFest 2012
                                                                                    Boston City Hall Plaza
                                   Free Shakespeare on the                          Boston GreenFest 2012 is a festival filled
                                   Common: Coriolanus                               with fun learning experiences to address the
                                   Parkmand Bandstand at Boston Common              important changes we need to make in our
                                   For its 17th season of Shakespeare on the        daily lives and our neighborhoods. It will
                                   Common, Commonwealth Shakespeare                 begin at Boston City Hall Plaza with a
                                   Company (CSC) is proud to present the            Kick-off Concert on Thursday, August 16,
                                   political drama Coriolanus. The play charts      from 5:00 p.m. – 9:30 p.m. Events continue
                                   the rise and fall of a powerful general as       Friday through Saturday.
                                   he battles enemies abroad, and a tide            www.bostongreenfest.org
                                   of popularity at home in Rome.
                                   www.commshakes.org/performances                  Wednesdays and Fridays throughout August
                                                                                    Summer Street Markets
                                   Friday, July 27 – Sunday, July 29                Downtown Crossing, Boston
                                   Boston Summer Arts Weekend                       Downtown Boston’s largest outdoor arts and
                                   Copley Square, Boston                            crafts market is expandeding to Wednesdays
                                   The Boston Globe and WGBH have created           and Fridays through October. All original,
                                   the inaugural Summer Arts Weekend in             handmade pieces: fine art, jewelry, clothing
                                   Boston. Presented by Citizens Bank, this         and accessories, artisan foods, photography,
                                   weekend event will celebrate the arts with a     wood-, glass-, and metalworks, fiber arts,
                                   free festival, special offers around the city,   and more available.
                                   and ticketed performances. With music rang-      www.summerstreetmarkets.com
                                   ing from classical and jazz to bluegrass and
                                   soul, along with dramatic theater and street
                                   performers, Summer Arts Weekend will
                                   showcase Boston’s thriving arts community.
                                   www.boston.com/ae/theater_arts/
                                   summer_arts_weekend/2012

                                   Fridays throughout July and August
                                   Free Friday Flicks at the
                                   Hatch Shell
                                   The Hatch Shell, Boston
                                   The movies start at dusk, and are usually
                                   films that were huge box office successes,
                                   both recent and modern classics. The Hatch
                                   Shell lawn fills up on a first-come, first-
                                   served basis. Bring a blanket or lawn chair
                                   and enjoy this family-friendly free event.
                                   www.celebrateboston.com/free-friday-
                                   flicks.htm
44   LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
THEATRE+MUSIC+DANCE+COMEDY


               1/2 PRICE
               TICKETS
               AND MORE


                                                             The definitive source for all
                                                            things arts in Greater Boston,
                                                          including teen and family-friendly
                                                                  events year-round.




            ALSO AVAILABLE AT FULL PRICE:
   FREEDOM TRAIL WALKING TOURS + GO BOSTON CARDS
+ BOSTON DUCK TOURS + NEW ENGLAND AQUARIUM + MORE
                                    A P R O G R A M O F
Life With Teens - June 2012 - Boston

Life With Teens - June 2012 - Boston

  • 1.
    BOSTON SUMMER 2012 SUBSCRIBE NOW teenlife.com/mag IT’S FREE! + Are You a Helicopter Parent? DIVORCE Parents, teens, and experts weigh in. 10 PUBLISHED BY TIPS FOR TEENS ON THE ROAD TO FINANCIAL SUCCESS TeenLife.com VOL. 1, ISSUE 1 LOOK INSIDE
  • 2.
    Bloomingdale's, Tiffany &Co., Michael Kors, Kiehl’s Since 1851, Ross-Simons, Ann Taylor, Papyrus, CUSP by Neiman Marcus, Sur La Table, Apple and Coming Soon . . . Stuart Weitzman and Soft Surroundings! twitter.com/ShopChestnut facebook.com/MallAtChestnutHill Mall at Chestnut Hill 199 Boylston Street Chestnut Hill, MA 02467 617.965.3038
  • 3.
    First 100 new subscribers receive a FREE TeenLife BOSTON backpack! Reserve FALL 2012 your free IBE SUBSCR W NO mag com/ teenlife. ! IT’S FREE Teens Technology subscription PUBLISHED TeenLife.co BY VOL. 1, ISSUE m 2 10 FAVORITE FIND LOOK INSIDE S now. Go to TeenLife.com/mag to keep receiving Life with Teens in your mailbox! Plus, you’ll get: 1. Unlimited access to our award-winning website featuring thousands of programs and opportunities for teens. e-Newsletter and popular 2. Our information-packed printed and digital guides. calendar of local events 3. Access to our community and volunteer opportunities for teens. Sign Up Now at TeenLife.com/mag.
  • 4.
    TeenLife.com PUBLISHER Marie Schwartz, President & Founder M A R K ETI N G Cara Ferragamo Murray Vice President of Marketing & Communications Camille Heidebrecht Director of Marketing & Managing Editor Mary Hawkins Manager of Search Engine Marketing BOSTON NEWTON MARBLEHEAD ADV E RTI S I N G SA L E S Dina Creiger Director of Sales, dina@teenlife.com Drop-in classes available for ages 16+ Jeanne Kelley Account Executive, jeanne@teenlife.com Mary Anne MacLean Account Executive, mamaclean1@gmail.com Jacklyn Morris Account Executive, jackie@teenlife.com Cindy Tessman Account Executive, cindy@teenlife.com O P E R AT I O N S Ellie Boynton, Vice President of Operations Maria Kieslich, Director of Operations Alice Vaught, Jesse Burns, Customer Service CO NT R I B UTI N G W R I TE R S Chad Foster, Lucy Norvell, James Paterson, Diana Simeon, Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed. A RT & PR O DU C T I O N Kathryn Tilton, Designer PUBLISHED BY Life with Teens, Volume I, Issue I, Summer 2012 is a quarterly publication of TeenLife Media, LLC. 1330 Beacon St., Suite 268, Brookline, MA 02446, (617) 277-5120, info@teenlife.com, www.teenlife.com LIMIT OF LIABILITY TeenLife Media, LLC (TL) does not verify claims or information appearing in any advertisements contained in this magazine. While advertising copy is reviewed, no endorsement of any product or service offered by any advertisement is intended or implied by publication in Life with Teens. No part of this magazine’s editorial content may be reproduced without written consent by TeenLife. Beyond Ballet – dance your Some content reprinted with permission by Your Teen magazine. way to fitness TL takes no responsibility for the descriptions of the organizations in our Directory. TL is not familiar with all of the organizations listed. We edit the descrip- tions to achieve a consistent format. TL presents all Ballet, Modern, Character, and Pilates descriptions without any warranty of any kind. TL is not responsible for the accuracy of any description, or for mistakes, errors, or omissions of any kind, or for any loss or damage caused by a user’s reliance on the Classes for all levels, absolute beginner through experienced dancer information contained in this publication. Information is subject to change without notice, and readers are advised to confirm all information about an organiza- tion before making any commitments. Trademarks: TeenLife Media, LLC and related trade For more information, call 617.456.6333 or visit dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of www.bostonballet.org/school TeenLife and/or its affiliates in the United States and may not be used without written permission. Copyright © 2012 by TeenLife Media, LLC Published by TeenLife Media, LLC, Brookline, MA 2 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
  • 5.
    BOSTON SUMMER 2012 TeenLife.com 8 CAREER TRACK: 21st Century Skills for the 21st Century Workplace By Chad Foster 11 MONEY SENSE: Financial Wisdom for Teens—Learn Now or Pay Later! By Chad Foster 14 27 FEATURE: Helicopter Parenting— Why It’s Not Good for Your Teen By Diana Simeon 25 VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT: 14 Does Your Teen Want to Be a Samariteen? By Lesli Amos 27 CAMPUS CONNECT: Why Hire an Independent Consultant? An Objective Professional Can Pay Off in Many Ways By Jim Paterson 29 HEALTH & WELLNESS: Media Literacy 101—Fortifying Teens’ Media Diets By Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed. 31 VIEW POINTS: The Dreaded “D” Word In Every Issue 6 DID YOU KNOW? New ground-breaking stats See page 7. 7 FAVORITE FINDS: Review the latest and greatest 39 43 STAY CONNECTED! DIRECTORY: WHAT’S HAPPENING? Programs and services for Regional events in and families with teens around Boston. SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 3
  • 6.
    High  School  Quiz Show  is  a Major  sponsorship  for  High  School  Quiz  Show  is  provided  by: Additional  funding  is  provided  by: production  of  WGBH  Boston
  • 7.
    Welcome to A New Quarterly Magazine For Parents of Teens! You asked for it—and we delivered! Our feature, Helicopter Parenting: Let me know what you think! This In response to interest from TeenLife Why It’s Not Good for Your Teen on page magazine is for you—comments and members and parents of teens—like you— 14, resonated with me right away. I think feedback are always welcome. And please we recognized that you not only need, but we have all been guilty of micromanaging pass it along to other parents you know want, more information and guidance to our teens. with teens! navigate the issues affecting teens today. On page 31, we look at parent, teen, Happy Reading, As you know, these can be formidable and expert perspectives on divorce and years—and we want to be right by Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed. evaluates teen your side! media literacy on page 29. In addition, Life with Teens aims to inspire par- we offer ways your child can manage their ents to be better parents, and teens to be money (page 11) and apply “21st Century better teens. We also aspire to help your Skills” to their lives (page 8). budding college student prepare for life In each issue, you’ll also find a Marie Schwartz, President & Founder, beyond high school. To think about finan- Volunteer Spotlight (page 25), a Listings TeenLife Media, LLC mschwartz@teenlife.com cial security, work/life skills, the value of Directory of teen-friendly programs and giving back, and more. resources (page 39), and Local Events You’ll find our editorial is timely (page 43) to add to your calendar. P.S. Spread the word! Connect with and offers valuable advice.Thanks to We hope you enjoy your first issue TeenLife on Facebook and Twitter the team at Your Teen magazine for of Life with Teens. To keep receiving (@teenlifemedia). Invite family, friends, providing some of the content in our your free subscription, sign up at and coworkers to subscribe to Life with inaugural issue. Teenlife.com/mag. Teens at TeenLife.com/mag. Discover The Landmark Advantage: One-to-One. Every Day. Landmark School knows that for young people with a language-based learning disability, like dyslexia, school can be frustrating and overwhelming. For our students, grades 2 - 12, school is about experiencing a personalized academic program with one-to-one tutoring every day, building skills to make learning productive and meaningful, playing sports, exploring visual arts, woodworking, theater…and experiencing confidence for the first time ever. Come visit. We’re just 25 miles north of Boston. Landmark School 1:1 Prides Crossing, Massachusetts landmarkschool.org • 978.236.3000 every day SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 5
  • 8.
    DID YOU KNOW? OVER A LIFETIME, INDIVIDUALS WITH A BACHELOR’S DEGREE MAKE 84% MORE MONEY THAN THOSE WITH ONLY A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA. The Georgetown University Center on Education and The Workforce Working couples talk to one another an average of only 12 minutes a day. NYU Child Study Center BY 2015, THE MILLENNIAL 1 in 3 teens sends more than GENERATION WILL MAKE 100 text messages UP ONE-THIRD OF THE a day, or ELECTORATE. 3,000 texts a month. Young Democrats of America 2010 The Pew Research Center’s Internet & American Life Project 6 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
  • 9.
    FAVORITE FINDS of teenagers say they hide their online activity from their parents. LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD! McAfee 2010 With a unique technology support system, the Airbak Campus Backpack combines extensive back cushion- ing with a special inflatable pillow for WARNI N G FO R PA R E N TS : additional padding. Its technology support system magically reduces the weight of a student’s heavy load. Boozy Bears www.airbak.com Gummy Candy Soaked in Alcohol By Dr. Thomas Tallman, Director, Emergency Preparedness & Disaster GO Medicine at Cleveland Clinic. RETRO! YUBZ provides There are teenagers who Obviously, if you are seeing today’s parents and search for an undetectable gummy candies suddenly appear teens with a safe, mind-altering experience. or disappear and alcohol is miss- functional, and chic Some have found a new ing, you may have cause to worry. Retro Handset that is way to get an alcohol buzz However, if you are waiting for effective in reducing without arousing suspicion— telltale signs, you will miss your exposure to radio marinating gummy bear opportunity. Don’t wait for grades frequency waves candy in vodka. The candy to slip and don’t ignore altered caused by cell absorbs the vodka and be- moods. Sit down and ask your phones. They have comes an alcohol snack. Teens kids whether they are seeing this plenty of fun colors eat them in order to keep a behavior among their peers. Tell and new funky mild buzz going throughout your kids that eating alcohol-laden designs too! the day with the thought of candy promotes alcohol addiction. www.yubz.com avoiding detection. But the Have a frank discussion and hope teen, believing the fallacy that for an honest reply. You may find vodka is odorless and unde- an underlying reason for a desired tectable, is not fooling anyone. “altered mood.” Some content reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine. SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 7
  • 10.
    CAREER TRACK Century  Skills FOR THE 21ST CENTURY WORKPLACE ST BY CH AD FOST ER BY C H AD FO ST ER Today’s teens will spend at least 16 years Today’s teens will spend at least 16 years Networking Skills—Future Networking Skills—Future and almost 20,000 hours in classrooms and almost 20,000 hours in classrooms teen employees will need to master teen employees will need to master before heading out into the real world. before heading out into the real world. So, how can a parent be sure that this So, how can a parent be sure that this the skills of meeting and effectively the skills of meeting and effectively communicating with a lot of people, communicating with a lot of people, 12 TIPS for Teens Preparing for Teens Preparing lengthy journey provides their teens lengthy journey provides their teens getting to know those people, and getting to know those people, and with the necessary tools needed to suc- with the necessary tools needed to suc- then staying in touch with those then staying in touch with those for the Real World for the Real World ceed? The question is fair, and deserves ceed? The question is fair, and deserves people—maybe even hundreds of people—maybe even hundreds of 1. Find your passion 1. Find your passion serious consideration. Education alone serious consideration. Education alone new contacts. In actuality, teens are new contacts. In actuality, teens are and follow it. and follow it. probably isn’t the answer. But the addi- probably isn’t the answer. But the addi- all quite familiar with the concept all quite familiar with the concept 2. Ask a million 2. tion of summer jobs, community service tion of summer jobs, community service of “keeping in touch” with a large of “keeping in touch” with a large questions. questions. work, educational programs, and even work, educational programs, and even community of people via social net- community of people via social net- 3. Read everything 3. internships can help fill in the gaps. Each internships can help fill in the gaps. Each working, so the transition to a pro- working, so the transition to a pro- you can. you can. of these experiences will teach teens the of these experiences will teach teens the fessional application should be fairly fessional application should be fairly 4. Meet all kinds of 4. vital 21st Century skills necessary to vital 21st Century skills necessary to smooth. Keep in mind however, smooth. Keep in mind however, people. people. prepare and succeed in work. So, what prepare and succeed in work. So, what that teens must be reminded that all that teens must be reminded that all are these skills? are these skills? of the technology in the world will of the technology in the world will 5. Fill your address 5. not change the age old premise that not change the age old premise that book. book. Communication Skills—Teens Communication Skills—Teens “people make people successful.” “people make people successful.” 6. Stay in touch with 6. must develop the ability to talk to people must develop the ability to talk to people Who you know will always be just Who you know will always be just everyone. everyone. from all walks of life. “Don’t talk to from all walks of life. “Don’t talk to as important as what you know. as important as what you know. 7. Always do the right 7. Always do the right strangers” makes great sense until age strangers” makes great sense until age thing. thing. 11 or 12. After that, the ability to hold a 11 or 12. After that, the ability to hold a People Skills—In a practi- People Skills—In a practi- 8. Volunteer for 8. conversation is vital. Questioning skills conversation is vital. Questioning skills cal sense, the ability to get along cal sense, the ability to get along community service. community service. and listening skills are both critical to and listening skills are both critical to with others will benefit teens in all with others will benefit teens in all 9. Discover your natural 9. this process, which need not be compli- this process, which need not be compli- aspects of their lives—at home, in aspects of their lives—at home, in talents. talents. cated. Whether personally or profession- cated. Whether personally or profession- the classroom, and in the work- the classroom, and in the work- 10. Try a few jobs before 10. Try a few jobs before ally, teens should be reminded to ask ally, teens should be reminded to ask place. However, statistics show place. However, statistics show and during college. and during college. simple questions; listen to answers and simple questions; listen to answers and that people skills in the workplace that people skills in the workplace incorporate them into their next ques- incorporate them into their next ques- are often the toughest to master. A are often the toughest to master. A 11. Pursue your dreams. 11. Pursue your dreams. tions; and focus questions on jobs, tions; and focus questions on jobs, whopping 70% of people who quit whopping 70% of people who quit 12. Remember: mastery 12. Remember: mastery families, and hobbies. A teen that is families, and hobbies. A teen that is or lose their jobs do so because they or lose their jobs do so because they of vital 21st Century of vital st “interesting” is great. A teen that is “interesting” is great. A teen that is can’t get along with their bosses can’t get along with their bosses skills leads to suc- skills leads success. “interested” is even better. “interested” is even better. or coworkers. This is clearly one or coworkers. This is clearly one cess. 8 8 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
  • 11.
    skill that isbest not learned “on Give your the job.” Success will depend on a teen’s ability to compromise and teen the to resolve conflict—coupled with understanding the dangers of burn- ing bridges along the way. confidence Tolerance—Three-year-olds they need. from diverse backgrounds play together peacefully on playgrounds across America. They do so be- Academic Life Coaching Ten one-on-one sessions tailored to cause they have yet to embrace the the individual student. Increase academic confidence and reduce poison of intolerance. Socially, anxiety. Build personal confidence and self-awareness. Improve intolerance is distasteful, but pro- communications, relationships and leadership skills; for school, for life, fessionally intolerance can be fatal. for your child. Employees don’t have the luxury of choosing their coworkers, their Gina Halsted bosses, and/or their customers. Academic Life Coach Teens who expect to survive and gina@ALCteen.com succeed in the global economy to- day absolutely need to learn how to www.ALCteen.com live with, work with, and socialize with people from all walks of life. So, how can you as a parent help? Intolerance—a learned behavior— ArtsBridge can be unlearned with the help of parents who recognize the dangers of this behavior and the future challenges that it presents. INTENSE COLLEGE ADVISING Choices/Consequences— IN THE PERFORMING ARTS There is no magic wand when it comes to helping teens always make the right choices, but they can be reminded to weigh data, think about risk, and consider the consequences of their choices. The key is for teens to develop pro- cesses and strategies that enable them to sharpen their foresight. “If I only knew then what I know now,” a comment often heard, reminds us that hindsight is always 20/20. Teens must understand that there is a dangerous correlation between making minor bad choices now and making major bad choices later. It is also critical for them to Educational Consultants realize that just one destructive specializing in the Performing Arts decision can easily destroy the best laid plans and highest hopes. ArtsBridge.com // info@artsbridge.com SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 9
  • 12.
    Conversely, making positive“right” decisions can help them achieve their life-long dreams. Time Management—Organi- zational and time utilization skills are two of the most vital common denominators of highly successful people. The ability to multi-task is paramount to a successful educa- tional, as well as workplace experi- ence. Simply put, teens who cannot effectively manage their time and organize their daily schedules are certain to struggle. Every teen must have a system. Whether that system is implemented with an electronic gadget or an old fash- ioned manual process is irrelevant. If the system works, then it is the right system. Hint: the ability to say “no” can go a long way in the game of time management! Business Literacy—In today’s world of entrepreneurial busi- nesses and start-up companies, the vast majority of today’s teens will not work for large corporations. Smaller companies will employ most—and the preparation is quite different from the preparation for a job in generations past. These companies typically do not have the time or resources to train basic workplace skills or teach the newly employed about the particular in- dustry landscape. Employees who take initiative, deal with challenges, overcome obstacles, and solve problems starting in their teen years will have a distinct advantage over the rest. Business literacy is probably the difference between failure and success. There is ample time for teens to master the 21st Century skills vital to workplace and life achievement if they start now. They must get involved, communicate, network, organize, make calculated deci- sions, appreciate others, and learn business. LWT 10 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
  • 13.
    SENSE FINANCIAL WISDOM FOR TEENS Learn Now or Pay Later! What teens need to do now in order to become financially literate young adults. BY C HAD FO ST ER very parent wants their teen And it can go even further. What to walk into the real world they are probably not thinking about is fully prepared to make wise how influential these jobs can be on their financial decisions. But, for eventual career path. I like to remind par- most parents, teaching their ents and teens that the process of career children how to do this is not—at all— exploration, preparation, and selection easy. So, here’s some practical advice, cannot start too early. mixed with a little bit of financial wisdom, As parents, encourage your teen that you can share with your teen about to get summer jobs in various different making, managing, and multiplying their types of work and intern (hopefully paid) hard-earned money. during breaks. Not only will they be earning their own money, but they will 1. MAKING MONEY—How will your also be exploring what they like to do. teen get his or her money? Simply put, A love for animals is not enough to they can earn it, marry it, inherit it, or become a vet, but combining a love for steal it! Since marrying money is unlikely, animals with substantial time working inheriting money can take forever, and in a vet’s office may lead a teen to stealing money is illegal, the truth of the that very career. matter is that the vast majority of today’s teens will have to do it the old-fashioned way. Earn it. Of course, your child—and many of “Young the teens you might know—are probably earning money by babysitting, mowing savers usually lawns, working in retail, or cashiering at end up as old the local supermarket, which are all excel- savers.” lent ways in which young adults can make money. Obviously earning their own money not only gives them some cash in their pockets, but it also teaches them so much more. They begin to learn the corre- lation between working hard and getting paid for their efforts. And they can learn about supply and demand: after babysit- ting for a few families, they might realize how many families need childcare help— and thus an enterprising teen might seize on the chance to earn even more money. SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 11
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    2. MANAGING MONEY—So, what happens when the cash starts to flow in? Will your teen spend it all? Save some of it? Give some away? Hopefully, the answer will be no, yes, yes. Yes, you are reading it correctly, I replied no, yes, yes. In passing my financial wisdom on to you, I honestly believe that successful money man- agement can only take place if “the list” is in the right order. Give, Save, Spend. Let me explain. Giving. Granted, “giving” is not always an easy concept to sell to the average teen that has worked hard for his or her paycheck. But then again, who wants to have an average 10 teen? Teens should be encouraged to give—this reminds teens at an 30 simply will not be as effective as early age that no matter who they starting the saving process as a teen. are or what they have, there is always The secret to saving is time. someone less fortunate. I like to put Spending seems to come quite it this way: whether you are 16 or 60, naturally to most teens. After all, why and whether you give away $10 or work hard to earn that pile of money Ten Tips for Teens $10,000, there are three things I can if you can’t turn around and spend on the Road to some of it? The desire to spend for promise you. most teens is quite normal. But it Financial Freedom 1. It always feels good to give. is imperative that teens have a clear 2. It helps others when you give. understanding of how much money 1. Work part-time as a they’re bringing in, and thus how teenager. 3. Giving is the right thing to do. much they can allow themselves to 2. Give to those less Teens who start giving at an spend, both on things they need and fortunate than you. early age typically become adults who things they want. continue the practice of giving later As parents, intervene a bit; ask 3. Learn to save money at in life. your kids before shopping if they an early age. Saving. Saving is important, and actually need what they plan to it must become a habit. Habits, good buy—or just want what they plan to 4. Understand the and bad alike, are hard to break. For buy. Again, they will probably spend difference between this reason, young savers usually end a little on both, but a clear problem needs and wants. up as older savers, which is critical arises when teens start spending 5. Develop good spending to the process of wise money man- money they don’t have on things they habits before you have agement. While still highly recom- don’t need. When that line is crossed, big bucks. mended, starting to save at age 25 or a small piece of plastic has obviously 6. Pursue a career you enjoy. 7. Figure out how to make COLLEGE money while you sleep. PRESIDENTS TELL US 8. Pay off all credit cards THAT THEY every month. LOSE MORE STUDENTS 9. Protect what you own TO CREDIT with insurance. of college students carry credit year-olds that have CARD DEBT card debt, with more than half declared bankruptcy THAN TO 10. Recognize the need to of those students charging their has increased 96% ACADEMIC live within your means. cards to the limit. over the past 10 years. FAILURE. 12 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
  • 15.
    worked its wayinto the process. Be aware, credit card compa- EarthConnect: A Costa Rican Adventure nies target teens, too. And credit card debt, as anyone knows, can cause long-term financial ruin. In Summer Program fact, colleges today report that they lose more students to credit card debt than to academic failure. 3. MULTIPLYING MONEY— Teens who explore rewarding for Teens ‘‘ careers for themselves and learn to effectively manage the money Story after story came… they earn are well on their way to financial success. Only the abil- Spy hopping with the ity to multiply their money stands dolphins, kayaking in between them and their future, and complete financial freedom. mangroves, meeting As a wise man in West Texas once locals and traveling by shared with an eager, ambitious teenage entrepreneur, “Until you bus. What became clear learn how to make money while to me was how much you sleep, you will never really get ahead in the financial process.” Sam enjoyed being with Teens who learn how to make authentic people from a money while they sleep, unearned money, are the real winners. The foreign culture. When I sooner teens are introduced to the asked him “Was it what process of investing, and the earlier they are taught to understand the you thought it would power of unearned income, the be?” His response was better off they will be in the long run. No matter how the market “Better, by far!” He performs, a safe, long-term stock was proud of the work will be more profitable the earlier your teen invests. he accomplished and all Once again, time is a determin- that he learned. He got ing factor in the process. Adults and teens alike must understand, more out of the program than I could have ’’ however, that investing is a skill, which must be learned and prac- ticed in order to improve over time. possibly expected. Is there a sure-fire formula that —EarthConnect 2011 Parent works for every teen learning about money? Not a chance. But is it possible to send teens into the real world financially literate? You bet. Chill Expeditions As parents, encourage them to earn their own money; to really think Costa Rican Adventures Experiential Learning Adventures Since 1995 about their career path; to give, save, and spend in the right order; 800.551.7887 Toll Free and to multiply their money even requests@costaricanadventures.com while they sleep. Teach financial wisdom now or consequently they www.costaricanadventures.com will pay later! LWT SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 13
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    PARENTING Why It’s Not Good for Your Teen Haven’t we all had a helicopter moment? Perhaps it was a note to a teacher protesting a grade, or a call to a coach insisting our teenager gets to play in next week’s game. Maybe it was helping too much with an English paper or wrangling an invitation to a party. Whatever the reason, we stepped in and did for our teenager what they could— and probably should—have handled on their own. by Diana Simeon Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine. 14 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
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    SUMMER 2012 LIFEWITH TEENS 15
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    CCASIONAL MOMENTS LIKETHESE ARE PART OF BEING A PARENT. WE LOVE OUR TEENAGERS AND WANT THE BEST FOR THEM. BUT WHEN INTERVENTION HAPPENS TOO OFTEN, AND WE FIND OURSELVES HANDLING LIFE’S CHALLENGES FOR OUR TEENAGERS WEEK AFTER WEEK— OR DAY AFTER DAY—THEN WE MAY BE HURTING MORE THAN HELPING. IN ORDER FOR OUR TEENAGERS TO GROW INTO SUCCESSFUL ADULTS, THEY MUST LEARN TO HANDLE CHALLENGES ON THEIR OWN. THIS DOESN’T MEAN THAT WE LET OUR TEENAGERS GO THEIR OWN WAY NO MATTER WHAT THEY’RE UP AGAINST, BUT IT DOES MEAN THAT, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, WE MUST LET THEM TAKE THE LEAD. And when our radar detects trouble, we act. In fact, how many of us would get into the college we “Some parents hope to rescue their teenagers from getting attended? The current economic climate doesn’t help mat- a bad grade or from a social situation or from any of the ters; even attending a prestigious college doesn’t guarantee pitfalls that can happen in life, believing perhaps that it a job upon graduation for our teens. will be too difficult for their teen to handle,” explains Amy Then, there are our worries over driving and drugs Speidel, a Cleveland-area parenting coach. and alcohol and sex and everything else that can go “We have a pessimistic attitude toward our kids wrong—sometimes drastically so—in their lives. And, as that says they cannot do anything safely or successfully if all of this weren’t enough, chances are we’re also acting without our help,” adds New York City-based syndicated out of guilt. columnist Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids: “We feel guilty because it’s so much harder for our How to Raise Safe Self-Reliant Children without Going Nuts teenagers today or because we’re asking them to do so with Worry. much or because we’re divorced or we work too much or So why do we do it? What’s changed from the hands- whatever,” Gilboa says. off parenting style of past generations to the enmeshed style so frequently found today? Why do we think that our teenagers can’t handle what we handled at their age? Well, Wait, Should We Really Land this according to the experts, there are several factors at play. Helicopter? First, foremost and most obvious, we love our teen- So, if the world has changed, if it’s that much harder agers. “We believe that no one has our teenager’s best for our teenagers, isn’t the appropriate response to be more interests at heart. That’s not self-aggrandizing. That’s enmeshed with them? Absolutely not, the experts say. truly love,” says Deborah Gilboa, MD, a.k.a. Dr. G, a “We can almost describe it like this,” Speidel says. “It Pittsburgh-area physician. “And as they move into is as if parents are attempting to help their teens develop adolescence, we’re also still in the habit of taking care an internal guidance system, but never allow the teen to of all their needs.” experience the learning as their own. For instance, years Anxiety for our teenagers’ future is another reason. ago, if you were 12 years old and nobody picked you up at “There is an apt recognition that the world is a more the end of an activity, you had to figure it out. Now, teens competitive place now,” notes Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical don’t do that; they just make a call.” psychologist at Laurel School in Shaker Heights, Ohio. Yet, it’s this figuring out of day-to-day problems “And that this generation will have to work harder to be that teenagers need to grow successfully into adulthood, as successful as their parents.” Speidel notes. “By giving children the answers, parents No doubt. Take getting into college, particularly a are actually creating a foreman-on-the-job response in top-ranked college. It’s just much harder to do these days. their child that says, ‘I don’t have to bank this knowledge 16 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
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    because you willhave the answer adults who lack confidence, and per- for me.’” haps even the competence, to success- In other words, when teenag- fully make their way in the world. ers deal with a challenge, they learn Meanwhile, our relationship with how to deal with a challenge. When our teenagers is also at risk when we they, and not their parents, talk to the helicopter. “There may be kids who coach about playing in next week’s find this totally inappropriate and soccer game or to the teacher about humiliating,” Damour says. “It puts a poor grade, then the next time a them in the position of being angry TIGER PARENTING: similar situation arises, they will have with someone who is acting on their The Flip Side of the Coin? built the skills to do so. behalf.” Meaning you. But, when a parent swoops in Thanks to Amy Chua’s bestselling Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, and takes charge, these skills won’t develop. Coming in for a Landing we now have yet another parenting moniker at our disposal: tiger mom. “It can feel like a vote of no confi- Former New York Times and now dence. The parent is, in effect, telling Huffington Post columnist Lisa Belkin Tiger mom—or tiger parent—means the teenager: ‘I don’t think you can said it all when she wrote: “Our own a parent who pushes her children to handle this, so I am going to handle it quirks look, to us, like concern or excel, at times using strategies that for you,’” Damour says. prudence or love. It’s everyone ELSE may seem excessive to the rest of us. Then, there’s the tendency of who hovers.” While it’s most often seen with many enmeshed parents to rescue Isn’t it true? It’s easy to “tsk, tsk” academics, it also happens in music their teenagers from the consequences about instances of extreme helicopter- or sports or debate or dance or most of their actions. For example, the ing—like the parent of the Colgate any competitive activity in which a parent who calls to complain about University student who called the tiger parent decides, “My child will a grade her teenager “deserved” is school to complain about the plumb- be the best.” not helping her teenager at all. Why ing conditions in China, where her At Life with Teens we wondered: Are study next time if Mom or Dad can daughter was spending a semes- tiger parents the same as helicopter fix it for you? ter—but when it comes to our own parents? They are, after all, very in- teenagers, determining how much is volved with their children’s lives. So, too much is not easy. we asked our experts to weigh in. “I think parents feel frustrated “When your teenager by this. They wonder: ‘So, I’m just “I would say those are mostly different dynamics,” explains Lisa supposed to let them sink or swim?’” comes to you with Speidel says. “It’s the balance that’s Damour, a clinical psychologist at Laurel School in Shaker Heights, a problem, instead so important. Are you giving them Ohio. “You can have super- steps along the way to become that of providing a confident adult that you clearly want demanding parents that expect a kid to manage, but the helicopter solution, just listen— them to become? They are not going parent does not think their kid to become competent just because can manage.” and be curious.” they reach a certain age. They become What’s more, tiger parents want that confident adult because they have their children to experience hard “Consequences give our brain those experiences leading up to that, knocks, says Harvard-affiliated information that says: This worked which tell them, ‘You are capable sociologist Hilary Levey Friedman, well; I want to do it again. Or: This of this.’” author of the forthcoming Playing to didn’t work at all for me; I want to Win: Raising Children in a Competi- avoid that or try something different. Here are some strategies tive Culture. “Competitive parents The brain actually wires itself around to get you started: recognize that no matter how great you are, you are going to face ad- these experiences,” Speidel notes. versity at some point in your life. If What’s at stake? A lot. If parents Listen (a lot) more than you you learn how to deal with that at a don’t allow teenagers to take charge suggest. When your teenager younger age, and in a safer environ- of their lives—and experience the comes to you with a problem, instead ment, that’s a good thing.” positive and negative consequences of providing a solution, just listen— of their actions—they will grow into and be curious. “So, for instance, if Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine. SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 17
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    ADVICE FROM OUREXPERT Why do we helicopter? Because we love our teenagers and, at times, we’re afraid for them. But, says Deborah Gilboa, MD, a.k.a. Dr. G, a Pittsburgh-area physician who also dispenses parenting advice on HuffPost Parents and Twitter, we need to get over that. Letting our teenagers stumble is just what they need. What do you think of the term “helicopter parent?” Okay, so say my teenager never gets up on time I prefer to say “enmeshed parent.” It is honest, but not for school? as condemning. I would say, “Your ride to school leaves at this time. But I’m not going to yell anymore, because it ruins my day.” What are we doing when we’re enmeshed with our If they miss the bus, they miss the bus. However, you and teenagers? your teen must agree on the consequences if school is We’re not building resilience. Our goal is to raise our missed. By high school, you can wait for the school to give teenagers so they can leave us; we’re important, but consequences, but be cautious about inserting yourself temporary. When we don’t teach our teenagers to man- between the child and the consequences. Your teenager age problems on their own, they don’t learn resilience. may get an unexcused absence; they may have to take a And, if we don’t teach resilience, then we rob them of the grade hit. But, high school is a much better time to under- self-esteem that comes from learning that they are resil- stand the cost of consequences rather than in college or ient, that they can solve their own problems and make at a job. I would also recommend you give your teenager their way in life on their own. three pieces of paper: three no-questions-asked rides to school. This can help you and your teenager ease into So what’s the alternative? the program. Be engaged, but not enmeshed. Listen much more than you give advice. I read this great article years ago where A big project is due, but my teenager is doing a the writer described how her dad responded when she terrible job. What now? came to him with a problem. He would say, “Wow, that’s When it comes to a younger teenager, I encourage par- a tough fix. I’ll be interested to see what you do about ents to think of themselves as a project manager, but not it.” And he was not being patronizing. He was saying, “I’ll an employee. You can talk to your child about timelines be interested to see how you solve this problem. I have and resources, but don’t do the work for them. Doing faith in you, and I want to hear how it goes.” Listen, listen, these projects is not really about, say, learning all the listen, so you can be engaged, but bite your tongue. Offer names of the planets in the solar system. They’re about advice only a fraction of the time, even though you have learning how to manage timelines, manage frustration, the perfect piece of advice. Because the message when etc.—all the tools we need to become competent adults. you don’t offer advice is that you have faith that your And, if you do the project for them—and especially if they teenager has some good ideas about how to fix this get a good grade—they are not going to feel good about problem on his or her own. it. So, yes, let them fail if necessary. You are saying: “This is your work.” And, you let them see that one grade is not a Even if they mess up? reflection of who they are and that they have what it takes The biggest gift we can give our teenagers is NOT to fail and recover. For an older teenager, do much less. protecting them from consequences. If your teenager is They should handle most of this on their own. Again, let going to get benched because of a C in math, you should them experience the consequences of their actions. not argue with the coach or the principal or the math teacher; you should say, “How are you going to improve What about the teenager who is not handing in your grade?” If we protect them from consequences when homework day-to-day? they are teenagers—and don’t teach them resilience— This could suggest that your teenager has an organiza- they will be shocked and betrayed by the real world. tional problem. But it could also be something else, like We are not doing them a good service. That’s the danger anxiety or social pressures. I always tell my patients that of being enmeshed with our kids. We’re setting up false if they see a dramatic change in their child, that is not a expectations for how they will be treated in every aspect time to be hands-off. So, if you see a dramatic change in of their lives. grades or their friends, then in a very non-accusatory way, sit down with your teenager and say, “You need some- That’s hard to do for enmeshed parents. thing you are not getting. There is a missing link for you, Yes, it’s hard but not impossible. It is very difficult to and we need to figure it out.” Promise yourself that you change how you feel, but how you feel is not as important will not try to fix it in that first conversation, just be empa- as what you do. Parents can change their actions without thetic and listen. Walk away and sit with it for a few hours, changing their feelings. Change your goal from raising a then go back and say, “I’ve been thinking about what you teenager who is protected to raising one who is resilient. said.” Then, you can start a conversation about next steps. For more advice from Dr. G or to ask a follow-up question, visit her website at askdoctorg.com or tweet her @AskDocG. Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine. 18 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
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    your daughter comeshome and says, suggests. But, coaching your teenager where to start. So, here’s an idea. ‘A friend is having a party, and I on what to do with language like, “Next time your blades are spinning, wasn’t invited,’ the tendency might “Here’s how to handle this,” is not ask yourself: ‘What’s the worst that be to say, ‘Well, are you having appropriate. could happen in this scenario?’” says trouble with your friend? Did you do Speidel. “And, if the answer is that something? Do you want me to call Start with low stakes—and your teenager ‘could be hurt, but it her mom?’ In other words, ‘How do don’t rescue your teenager seems as if they will recover,’ then you want me to interfere?’” explains from the consequences. allow the possibility of hurt, knowing Speidel. “Instead, the first thing you Teaching our teenagers to fend for they can recover and do it differently should do is become curious about themselves means allowing them to the next time. Every time you allow how your child is experiencing this make their own choices and experi- your child to have a disappointment situation and ask, ‘I’m wondering how ence the consequences of those choic- and recover, what you’re saying is: you feel about this?’ It’s important for es. For an enmeshed parent, it can ‘You are strong. You can handle this. your child to know that the feeling is be gut-wrenching to watch teenagers And, we’ve got your back.’” hers to own, not for you to fix.” stumble, perhaps even fall, which is When our teenagers were tod- exactly what they’ve been trying to dlers, just learning to walk, we were Be a coach. Asking questions is prevent with their hovering. happy to let them teeter, totter, and also appropriate when it comes to Mobile, Alabama, father of three, tumble because we understood that supporting your teenagers through Tilmon Brown, knows this all to well. this is how children learn to walk— problems. “Parents should do a lot of “My daughter is a lost puppy. So I and eventually run. Our teenag- thoughtful coaching. For example, if have to decide: Do I let her flounder ers are not so different: They will your teenager is having trouble with and make a mess of her life or do I wobble; they will trip; they will most a teacher, you could ask, ‘Would it get involved and help her succeed?” certainly fall. But, if we let them do be helpful to email your instructor?’ For those of us, like Brown, who it enough, they will also fly. LWT or ‘What’s the appropriate verbiage?’ struggle day in and day out with Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine. or ‘What are your goals?’” Damour being enmeshed, it’s hard to know TOP We polled our staff, readers, experts, friends, and family to bring you a TOP 13 of moments when our helicopter blades were whirling. While some may make you giggle or gasp, others may sound, well, uncomfortably familiar—proof positive of how difficult this can all be. The bottom line: if these moments are the rule in your home, and not the exception, it may be time to take a deep breath, review the tips from our experts and come in for a landing. 1. Recently, I emailed about 100 adults to ask them to 8. My son had to return a book to his college’s bookstore. be mindful of their behavior during an upcoming There was a problem, so while he was standing in the store, meeting that my high schooler was also attending. he called me on his cell phone, and I talked to the manager. 2. I called my daughter’s college to complain about 9. I require my teenager to take a picture on her phone and the food. text it to me, so that I know she really is where she says she is. 3. I called my son’s school because he missed the deadline to return a form that would allow him to 10. I check online daily to make sure my daughter’s grades participate in an extracurricular activity. are acceptable. 4. I can’t help myself. I attend my daughter’s rehears- 11. I went to my son’s school and held his spot in line to make als, take notes and then review with her the areas sure he got into an activity he wanted to sign up for. that I think need improvement. 12. I drive my daughter to school 2 – 3 days a week because 5. I filled out my son’s applications for a summer job, she can’t get to the bus stop on time. and I called to schedule the interview. 13. And here’s one from the headlines. A house shared by 6. I filled out my daughter’s college applications and seven Boston University students was going up in flames. helped her write the essay. Instead of dialing 911, one of the students called his parents, who in turn alerted the University’s police department. 7. I called my daughter’s boss to ask for a better Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine. work schedule. SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 19
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    COUNTDOWN-TO-COLLEGE for Juniors and Seniors s you enter your final two years of high school and start Presented by thinking about college, don’t stress. We have created this detailed checklist to keep your college application process moving along smoothly and on track. JUNIOR YEAR Thinking about college starts in your junior year. FALL WINTER SPRING SUMMER Take a challenging course load and all of the Begin researching colleges. Look into summer jobs, Request catalogs and admission classes you need to graduate. Look at websites, search internships, summer camps, information from your top-choice sites, online campus tours, and other career-inspiring schools if you haven’t already. Log on to PrincetonReview.com to register student reviews, and programs that will boost If you took the SAT/ACT for the PrincetonReview.com. your resume. Take a free practice test Attend college fairs in your to improve your scores, then Register for the PSAT in October. for the ACT and SAT to see area. It’s a great way to take a summer prep course which test you perform collect brochures and meet with The Princeton Review. Compete for the National Merit Scholarship better on. College Reps one-on-one. (www.nationalmerit.org). If practical, visit and tour the Sign up for a prep class Sign up for a prep course rest of the schools on your list. Use PrincetonReview.com and The Princeton if you are taking the early so that you are ready for the Brainstorm and outline a few Review’s book, The Best 376 Colleges, to spring exams. Go to May/June exams. essay ideas. begin your initial college search. PrincetonReview.com Register to take the SAT Schedule an appointment with Talk to your counselor and consider an or ACT. your counselor or independent for you. assessment test to explore potential Take the appropriate Subject consultant to discuss your careers you might like. Investigate scholarship and Tests (if needed) and AP college plans. Tests. The Princeton Review Create a binder to keep all of Get involved in the community, school Make a list of colleges offers courses for both. activities, and clubs. Track your volunteer hours your information and application that you might like to visit Visit the schools on your list. forms organized and neat. and add these experiences to your applications. and prepare questions for Explore the campus, its fa- Start your applications before Work on improving your vocabulary — upcoming tours. cilities, and what makes each the stresses of senior year kick it will help you on the SAT! particular college unique. into full gear. PULL OUT AND HANG ON YOUR WALL TURN FOR MORE
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    SENIOR YEAR It’s your last year of school! Now’s the time to complete your college quest. SEPTEMBER APRIL Decide which colleges to apply to. Include schools that you believe will accept you, as well as some “reach” schools. If you are added to a waiting list, notify the college or university if Contact The Princeton Review to discuss the College Admissions you are still interested, and ask them if there’s anything you can Consulting program. do to better your chances of being accepted. Work on completing your college applications. Find out if your target colleges accept the Common Application or form and deposit. You’ll be off to college in the fall! Universal College Application, which can be submitted online. so they can offer Decide if you will apply for early decision to your top-choice schools. enrollment to other students. Start the framework for your college essays. Participate in a Princeton Review Financial Aid Seminar. Ask teachers, counselors, or employers to write recommendation letters. MAY Take any AP exams that you’ve registered for and make sure your scores are sent to your college. OCTOBER Write and send thank-you notes to all involved in the college Take the SAT/ACT. process including your counselor, teachers, and those who’ve written you personal recommendations. Let them know where Continue completing your applications. Submit early decisions. you will be going to school! Fine-tune your college essays. Have them proofread for content and grammar. Double check on any deadlines and last-minute paperwork necessary to attend your college of choice. Plan to attend a summer orientation at your college. NOVEMBER/DECEMBER Submit your completed college applications and essays. JUNE Check to see if your recommendation letters have been mailed. . Search for scholarship opportunities. Complete any last minute paperwork required for your school. Obtain a copy of FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) for your parents or guardians. Plan your transition and exciting move to campus. Look for early decision acceptance letters from schools. Graduate high school!
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    JANUARY File for theFAFSA as soon as you can after January 1. Make sure that the colleges you applied to in December have received your completed application. Ask your counselor to send your mid-year grades to the colleges or universities that require them. if you haven’t submitted it yet. Check the policies on the College Level Examination Program (CLEP) tests at the schools you may attend. These tests can earn you college credits in certain subjects. FEBRUARY If you haven’t done so already, submit your FAFSA. Deadline is February 15th. If you have submitted a FAFSA and you have not received your Student Aid Report (SAR) within a month, speak to your counselor or contact the Federal Student Aid Information Center directly. and any initial required documents. MARCH If you are taking any Advanced Placement courses, ask your teacher or counselor how to prepare and when to take the AP exams. Continue searching for scholarships that will help reduce your tuition expenses. NOW... OFF TO COLLEGE! Keep an eye out for admission decisions from colleges — and any additional information schools may request. TURN FOR MORE
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    DISCOVER THE 24 PRINCETON REVIEW TUTORING EDGE SAT AND SUBJECT TEST DATES The Princeton Review: Offers an extensive Application Deadline Test Date* number of courses in September 7, 2012 October 6, 2012 a classroom setting, LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012 online, or through private October 5, 2012 November 3, 2012 tutoring to fit your November 2, 2012 December 1, 2012 schedule and budget. December 28, 2012 January 26, 2013 Employs highly qualified February 8, 2013 March 9, 2013 teachers that undergo rigorous training to help *Actual test dates may change. you achieve maximum test score results. Continually updates its ACT TEST DATES program and testing materials so that your experience is as close Application Deadline Test Date to taking the actual SAT/ August 17, 2012 September 8, 2012 ACT as possible. September 21, 2012 October 27, 2012 SPECIAL Provides outstanding November 2, 2012 December 8, 2012 OFFER! local customer service Use code January 11, 2013 February 9, 2013 with ongoing support Boston200 to throughout the entire March 8, 2013 April 13, 2013 application process. SAVE $200 on a SAT Ultimate course. Expires 12/31/12. It’s no wonder that over 4 out of 5 Princeton Review graduates get into one of their top-choice schools! By focusing on preparation and practice, The Princeton Review and PrincetonReview.com help students improve their performance on standardized tests and navigate the complexities of school admissions.
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    VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT Does Your Teen Want to Be a Samariteen? BY L ESLI AM O S “It provides a space for callers to able lessons she will take from Samari- have direct and honest communication teens are summed up in two quotes. with someone their age who will respect One is, “To the world, you may be one and listen to what they’ve been going person—but to one person, you may be through,” continues Baum. the world.” The other is the Samaritans’ There is no better way to understand tagline: “You are not alone!” the impact of Samariteens than by meet- The most rewarding part of the Sa- ing one of the 64 active teen volunteers. mariteens experience varies by volunteer, Jess Kruger (16), a junior at Fram- but Baum maintains that volunteers are ingham High who handles several making real differences in callers’ lives. 3:00–9:00 p.m. shifts per week, offers a “Our teen volunteers speak with Jess Kruger, teen perspective. As a teen who person- individuals who are experiencing some junior at ally conquered her own struggles with very difficult situations. That said, it’s an Framingham mental illness, Kruger believes she “was incredibly meaningful experience where High School meant to be a Samariteen.” teens are directly providing help to those Kruger explains, “Obviously each who are in great need,” adds Baum. he teen years can be extremely dif- caller’s situation is different; we are Samaritans has other volunteer op- ficult with pressures from school, home, trained to intently listen, not to offer portunities as well. Teens can participate friends, and media, along with rapid advice. But it is an incredible feeling to in events like the 5K Walk/Run to raise biological changes. For many, it is often be on the other end of the phone when awareness about suicide and prevention, too much to bear. In these dire circum- someone really needs me.” or the annual Make Noise to Save a Life stances, parents and teens are extremely Being a Samariteen offers benefits fundraiser. fortunate to have organizations like on both ends of the phone line. Follow- For teens who believe in the power Samaritans (www.samaritans.org) with up calls from teens formerly in crisis of caring for others, who want real world a mission to help reduce teen suicide: a reassure that the program works—and experience in the mental or public health very real—and serious—problem today. that meaningful peer relationships are fields and the opportunity to make an In a recent interview with Nate imperative to recovery. On the listening immediate difference, the Samaritans’ Baum, the Youth Services Manager of end, Kruger notes that her interpersonal Samariteens program is an ideal fit. the Samaritans’ Samariteens Program, and active listening skills have flourished Samariteens accepts volunteers ages I was reminded that suicide is the third as well as her own self-worth. “I am a 15 - 19, and requires a nine-month com- leading cause of death for people ages 15 more patient and understanding person. mitment for the helpline. Teens can sign to 24. Although I had heard that statistic I may even explore the field of psychol- up online at samaritanshope.org/volun- before, it has only now truly resonated. ogy down the line,” remarks Kruger. teer, or call (617) 536-2460 for Boston or Along with extensive community Kruger explains that the most valu- (508) 872-1780 for Framingham. LWT education and outreach to help young people who are depressed or suicidal, the core of the Samariteens Program is the “teen to teen” helpline: (800) 252-TEEN and the IMHear instant messaging pro- “TO THE WORLD, gram, which allow teens to confide their YOU MAY BE ONE feelings to a peer. PERSON—BUT TO Baum explains, “Our helpline volun- teers use a technique called ‘befriending’ ONE PERSON, YOU as a way to actively listen and offer sup- MAY BE THE WORLD.” port for callers, without giving advice or Samariteens answering calls for the helpline. passing judgment.” SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 25
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    10,000 APPLICANTS. 1COLLEGE ADMISSIONS OFFICER. WE CAN HELP WITH THOSE ODDS. Applying to college is more competitive than ever. Get the insider advantage with College Coach® . Our team of experts is made up of former admissions officers from highly selective colleges such as University of Pennsylvania, Columbia, and MIT — professionals who really know what colleges are looking for and can help you stand out. More than 90% of College Coach graduates get into one of their top-choice schools, and 100% receive admissions offers. The best decisions start here. 877-40-COACH (877-402-6224)
  • 29.
    CONNECT Why Hire an talented athlete joins the football team at a prominent Ivy League. A “late-to-bloom” graduate attends a major liberal arts school Independent by means of community college first. A budding diplomat finds the perfect academic curriculum at a university in D.C. And a student with learning Consultant? challenges moves from discouragement to a college that meets specific needs. Apart from being successes, all of these high school students have one other thing in common: they each hired an independent educational consultant (IEC) to An objective professional can match them with the perfect school—a college that was exactly what they were looking for. pay off in many ways So, what does an IEC exactly do that parents, college-bound teens, and sometimes time-constrained school counselors can’t or don’t? Mark Sklarow, executive director of the Indepen- dent Educational Consultants Association (IECA, www. iecaonline.org), the nation’s leading professional organi- B Y J IM P A T ER SO N zation for independent educational consultants working in private practice, says, “there are a variety of ways SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 27
  • 30.
    consultants can helpthroughout the “Working with me means that confusing and high-stakes process of students will learn a great deal about choosing a college—by not only sav- themselves and what they want/need Just as you want to find ing families time and money, but by at this moment in their lives.” the best-fit college for your getting students to think about their She notes that almost half of teen, you will also want to find interests, as well as the vast array of college freshmen don’t return for the best IEC to help you. Here options they have. A consultant can their sophomore year. A good IEC are some tips on selecting also recommend different career paths can increase a student’s odds of find- an Independent Educational and rethink preconceived notions ing the right fit. Consultant, according to Mark about a school.” Rabe says she keeps track of de- Sklarow, executive director of Sklarow continues, “Typically, tails such as “whether the labs are up- the Independent Educational a consultant has the benefit of more dated, the career center is well-staffed, Consultants Association. time to research colleges compared to construction projects have stalled, school counselors. IECs use that time the new workout facility is complete, to find a school where a student will or there are internships or research thrive.” options.” Families are often over- • The IEC you hire should be Lucia Tyler, a college consultant- whelmed by the information about approachable and work easily from Trumansburg, NY, explains, the academics, costs, and environment with the personality of your “In today’s rapidly changing environ- at various schools, but a consultant family and your student. Each ment, families value up-to-date advice can help manage the information. consultant has a different ap- proach and different expertise, on selectivity, applications, scholar- “Also, family and student and should understand exactly ships, programs, and facilities.” opinions can be strongly held, and a what your family needs. Tyler explains, “The public consultant can provide an objective schools often have a tough time keep- voice—and being less close to the • Select a person who does a lot ing up with the tsunami of informa- situation, can observe student inter- of college visits and is current tion coming from colleges.” ests, skills, or personality traits, and on the best information and “IECs consolidate information be impartial,” Rabe explains. trainings. to save time and frustration—and can Students often appreciate that • Keep an open mind about the provide specific data on other topics, other voice. Rabe says, “In an age information a consultant pro- such as unusual majors, special needs, when everyone gets a trophy for vides, even if it doesn’t fit your or unexpected family or personal showing up, it can be helpful—and preconceived notions. circumstances,” adds Tyler. sometimes a huge relief—to have an Tyler also notes that beyond educational consultant who is passion- • Don’t assume that the IEC the data and paperwork, IECs are ate about excellence.” needs to have worked as a high concerned about the student, “A In conclusion, Rabe states, school counselor or in a college admissions office. major reason for students leaving “Family savings go up in smoke and school is a mismatch. When consul- often times students are facing debt • Find an IEC who is interested in tants tour, they pay attention to the that has not moved them very close to the right fit and not just “get- types of students who attend and the a diploma, much less a career. Making ting your teen in.” activities that are deemed important a mistake with college choice can be so they can help their clients with that very expensive. I know dollars and • Look for someone who makes information.” cents matter. But saving my families the student responsible. Luisa Rabe, a partner at Pru- Pruett money isn’t what makes me jump • Meet several consultants when ett Rabe Associates, educational con- Rabe Associates, an an educational out of bed in the morning. Instead, your teen is a freshman or consulting firm in Haverford, believes sultingfirm in Haverford, PA PA be- it’s the possibilities for a successful sophomore, so you can start lieves that have extensive experience, that IECs IECs have extensive expe- student experience.” working with your choice IEC rience, having touredcampuses and having toured many many campuses Despite the frustration the college right at the beginning of their and gone through process withwith gone through the the process many search process can entail for both par- junior year. many students. She visits about about other other students. She visits 50 ents and college-bound teens, there • Make sure your consultant 50 campuses a year andconstantly campuses a year and is is constantly are plenty of success stories in which works an average of 20 hours updating her knowledge base. students find the right match. And with you and your student to “What matters to me and what in many cases, hiring an independent keep the college admissions I think matters most to my families educational consultant helped lead process on track. are possibilities,” says Luisa Rabe. the way. LWT 28 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
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    HEALTH & WELLNESS Media Literacy 101 Fortifying Teens’ Media Diets BY KI M BER L Y W O L F, M . E D. mart phones. Video games. Tablets. Laptops. with organizations like MissRepresentation.org and Desktops. Magazines. Books. TV. Movies. DoSomething.org promoting healthier content and tech- Newspapers. Radio. You name the sources; nological interaction for young people, much of the media the chances are your teen is consuming adored by teens is full of unrealistic body images, gender content from most or all of them on a weekly stereotypes, focus on material possessions, and incomplete basis. According to Generation M2: Media in the Lives representations of health and wellness. With this makeup of 8- to 18-Year-Olds, a 2010 study by the Kaiser Family and the time that teens spend with media, the potential Foundation, American teens spend over 7.5 hours using negative effects are many. Social withdrawal, under- media each day, and because of time spent multitasking, developed conversation skills, poor sleep, issues with they consume over 10.5 hours of media content within body image, and weight problems are just a few. that timeframe. For generations, parents have briefed their teens Media provides sources of entertainment, social on the dangers associated with sex, drinking, drugs, interaction, and education. Teens love it. And now more and driving. Today’s parents should be adding media than ever, media has tremendous influence over them. It to their list of topics. helps shape their self-concepts, how they understand the If you want to help your teen navigate today’s media world and their places within it. landscape in a healthy way, I suggest a multi-faceted While a “healthy media” movement is on the rise approached. SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 29
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    Educate yourself. Withmedia use on the rise and more studies about media’s negative influence on the teen demographic, many organi- zations are actually taking the initia- tive to educate adults about “healthy media diets.” CommonSenseMedia. org—run by James Styer, a Stanford professor, lawyer, and media execu- tive—has media reviews, parenting Substance Abuse tips, and a customizable newsletter. Model healthy media Treatment for Teens behaviors. CommonSenseMedia. org encourages parents to “set an Clinical expertise in substance abuse example by using media the way and psychiatric illness you want [your kids] to use it. Don’t bring your phone to the dinner table, Strong support for parents and turn the television off when it’s not actively being watched.” Peaceful residential setting near Boston Limit teens’ media exposure (when possible). Generation M2 points out the numerous decisions parents make in creating a “media environment” for their teens. You may not be able to control your teen’s media exposure beyond your home, but simple deci- sions like banning TV, computers, and smart phones from your child’s bedroom move the dial when it comes to reducing media intake. Teach media safety. Make your teens aware of media’s down- falls and how they affect all people, not just youth. Talk to them about recent studies or statistics about media use, and refer to their favorite shows or magazines as jumping off points for discussions around negative or inaccurate imagery and messaging. The influence of media on American teens can’t be discount- ed—and it doesn’t look like teens will be losing interest in media any time soon. The good news is that McLean Hospital is the largest psychiatric affiliate of Harvard Medical School today’s parents have the opportunity and a member of Partners HealthCare. to foster responsible media habits in www.mcleanlanding.org :: 877.412.3445 teens, which will help them enjoy mcleanlanding@mclean.harvard.edu media’s benefits in more positive, healthy ways. LWT 30 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
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    VIEW POINTS The Dreaded “D” Word IT IS NO SURPRISE THAT DIVORCE IS DIFFICULT FOR ALL INVOLVED, BUT WE HOPE THESE PERSONAL STORIES AND EXPERT ADVICE SHED SOME LIGHT ON HOW FAMILIES CAN PERSEVERE. Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine. SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 31
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    www.tec-coop.org PA RENT JEN N I N EWMA N INTERNSHIP PROGRAM “W hen I got divorced, my kids were 14, 10, and 6. It was a painful time for all of us, but I thought that I was prepared for every- thing that would accompany this difficult decision. And to some extent Internships  offered  during:   I was. I knew how to handle most things that would change our lives summer  months from a two-parent household to a single-parent household. Once the divorce was final my kids and I began working together to move the  academic  year forward into a new schedule for all of us. The new challenges that I was not prepared for came when I began after  school  hours   dating. Dating at 41 was very different than dating in my twenties. the  school  day For starters, meeting single men was not the same as it was when I was younger. And before I got married, I only had to worry about my post  secondary/   parents; now I had to worry about my kids. Of course I could not dictate what my ex would share with my kids, gap  year but I decided that I would not discuss dating with my kids unless it became serious. I had a few dates shortly after my divorce was final, enough to learn that there were any number of strange men I wouldn’t “Together  we   go out with again, let alone introduce to my kids. But when you go out as a single parent you have to decide what to tell your kids about where create  more   you are going. Plus, I also knew that I needed to be more responsible about dating and late nights than when I was younger; my teenagers possibilites” would be learning from my example. One evening after a coffee date, I got home much later then I had originally planned to find my daughter waiting for me with a look of disdain. She said, “You cannot expect me to call you when I am going to be late, if you do not do the same for me.” Suddenly my daughter became the mother and I became the child. That was quite a reality Find us on check, and to some extent, she was right. So moving forward, I made Facebook sure to set the right example in my dating life. TEC Interns What also became clear to me was the change in how my children would see me and how I would see myself. I would always be a parent, but how do you balance that with also being a woman? Not so simple. Whatever decision I made could be the wrong one. Follow us on: This became abundantly clear when I met the right man a year after my divorce. It was certainly difficult to introduce him to my two sons, twitter but the real challenge was introducing him to my teenage daughter. TEC Internships She was less than amused at the prospect of meeting him. I was not sure why, but it was a difficult first meeting. Over time, I learned that her discomfort about meeting him was Visit  our  website   connected to her fear of more changes in her life. At that point, I un- for  more  information.   derstood that the biggest anxiety in divorce is the fear of change. And Contact  Sherri  Sigel  at   no matter what, change was always going to be in the air. And kids will ssigel@tec-­coop.org learn how to adjust.” 32 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
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    their rooms orwatch TV in the den (while doing their best to ignore me), I just tell them that their presence is important to me. Nothing can replace face-to-face interactions with my teen- age daughters. Although I work in social media for a living, I never communicate with them through social media. I oc- PAREN T casionally check Facebook to see what they are doing, but the last thing they want is their dad communicating with them in a TED visible format. When necessary, I send texts. And of course, I RUBIN call them. Although they rarely check email, I always send one before I fly to tell them I love them, so they will always know. Our most important moments are in person, when I am truly “W paying attention and being involved in what they do. Due to my work in social media marketing, I’ve built deep, ith divorce, most dads are not the custodial rewarding relationships with many mom bloggers. Because parent, and therefore, the dad has little or no control over the I reveal my status as a divorced dad of teenage girls, moms daily decisions. For many reasons, dads may allow the mom share valuable advice that I hope has made me a better, more to be the custodial parent due to financial necessity and lack of sensitive and insightful dad. I have been asked, “If you had just comfort with being the primary caretaker. Often attorneys and one hour with your girls, what would you do?” At this point, psychologists advise this traditional route. I would choose anything that I could do “with” them. When I believe that dads should do whatever it takes to get full they were young, and I had a real choice, I would choose swim- joint legal and physical custody, even if equal splitting of time ming because it was so interactive. Now, I make myself avail- means not having a “primary” home. Many psychologists able when any opportunity presents itself. advise against this and recommend that the child should have Being an involved dad has changed my life. Everything I a primary residence, but I disagree. Don’t be left out of your do is all about what I can do for my kids and how I can make kids’ lives. Step up and commit to being available for your chil- the world and their lives better. In business, I preach about the dren right from the beginning. Be a steady influence in their importance of relationships. I hope to pass this legacy on to my lives so that when they are teens, and they pull away for their girls: It’s All About Relationships. own reasons, you remain a constant enduring presence. My dreams have changed because of being a dad. My I learned that no matter what it took, I needed to stay in- dream day now is skiing with my girls and having them truly volved and be a steady presence. When my daughters got older want to be physically on the slopes with me, just like when and their feelings grew more complicated than a simple ‘I love they were younger. I want my daughters to know that I love my Daddy no matter what,” parenting became much more dif- them unconditionally. And my hope for them is to make a ficult. But, no matter what, I stayed present. Now, when they difference in the lives of others, even if only with a smile and ask why they have to be at my house when all they do is stay in kindness.” Commit to being available for your children right from the beginning. “D ivorce does not always have to be a bad thing. While it can be very upsetting and challenging, attitude can make a big difference. When I was in seventh grade, my par- ents separated, and my mom moved out shortly afterwards. At first it was hard to bear, but then I got used to my living situation, and now I cannot imagine living any other way. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and I was about to TEEN go over to a friend’s house when my parents sat my siblings ANNIE and me down at the kitchen table. They seemed uncomfort- able, and I knew something wasn’t right, but I tried to stay CART ER optimistic. Hesitantly, they announced that they were get- ting a divorce and that at the end of the school year, my mom SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 33
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    PROFESSIONAL ADVICE: By Dr. Amy Lee, Pediatric Psychologist at the Center for Pediatric Behavioral Health, Cleveland Clinic Children’s Hospital Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine. “A many families. When pain and conflict are too chal- lenging for mediation, collaborative-minded attorneys for each parent can work together to resolve conflicts s these per- around parenting. sonal stories illustrate, divorce is a complex and painful experience. Children live through so many emotions over Parents also eventually need to move on to de- the changes divorce brings to their lives: loss, conflict, velop new relationships. Some parents might re-enter anxiety, and sadness. Parents suffer similarly, and for all the dating world, and some might even remarry. The involved, these feelings can change over time. needs of the children involved become very important here as well. Parents should care for their relationships Despite the challenges, parents can reduce tension with their children during and after divorce. Continu- by helping their kids experience their own adjustment ing to communicate with teens about their feelings without involving them in the spousal conflict. Two fac- and the changes in the family is critical. tors that protect kids through divorce are consistent, loving relationships with their parents and protection Parents may find it best to share their plans to from parents’ emotional conflicts. As the teens point begin dating before introducing their kids to anyone out, many kids find their own form of resilience and new. A child who is unable to discuss a parent’s dating forgiveness, but parents make the road easier when they is probably not ready to meet a parent’s new friend, manage their own emotions, take a child-centered but when the child is ready, introduce the new person approach to the divorce process, and seek collaborative gradually and according to the child’s needs. ways to negotiate with their ex-spouse. Although divorce is always difficult, it can result in Teens navigating divorce will often use resources new and healthy family relationships. Parents can find outside of their immediate family for support, turning ways to navigate the process collaboratively if they to supportive friends, coaches, therapists, or teachers place their children’s needs at the forefront. Children who can offer understanding and validation. Children of can emerge from the divorce experience resilient and all ages may feel the need to protect their parents from able to cope with challenges that they will encounter their emotions; so having healthy outlets for expressing in their own relationships.” their grief, anger, and sadness can relieve a great burden. Some teens might not work through their personal experience by talking about their adjustment. For these teens, involvement with friends and activities may be more helpful. Regardless of the path chosen, protecting teens from their parents’ emotional conflicts frees them to sort out their personal feelings about the changes in their family. Parents can learn to let go of their anger, hurt, disappointment, and sadness by allowing themselves to grieve as well. Parents should seek guidance with a trained professional if it becomes too difficult to manage alone. As the legal system can be inherently adversarial, it is also important for parents to seek legal advice that is more collaborative in nature. Mediation or a newer form of collaborative law may be the best option for 34 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
  • 37.
    would move out. I was shocked; I hadn’t seen it coming. Sure, they fought sometimes, but I knew most parents fought one time or another. I managed to keep it together downstairs, but when I was back in my room the tears came like a flood. I called my friend immediately, but I was crying too hard to even get the words out. The next day at school, I told more of my friends. They were all very supportive, and by the end of the day, I was already feeling much better. The rest of the school year is sort of a blur to me—I don’t remem- ber much. As soon as school ended my mom moved out. All of a sudden, the situation became very real. I had two houses, two rooms, and two separate families. While the change was difficult to get used to, I soon realized I didn’t have it nearly as bad as some other kids with divorced parents. First of all, my mom’s job forced her to travel a lot, so I was already somewhat used to not being with both parents all the time. For at least the past year, my mom had been out of town for roughly half of the week, so it didn’t feel unnatural not to be with both of my parents for the entire week. Transitioning between the two houses was more of a challenge, but my mom moved only two blocks down the street from my dad, so it was fairly manageable. My parents have also maintained a very civil relationship to this day; they’re not like some divorced couples mer Studio who refuse to even speak to each Pre-College Sum Arts other. The more I looked at my situ- Bachelor of Fine ma All-Studio Diplo ation from a larger perspective, the more I realized how fortunate I was. ree Overall, I have come out with a Dual Deg relatively positive outlook on my ex- perience. While the changes that came Talk to us about with my parents’ divorce were hard scheduling a visit. to accept at first, I came to realize that even tough situations can still turn out Admissions all right. 230 The Fenway, I have been lucky enough to main- Boston, MA 02115 tain good relationships with both admissions@smfa.edu parents, and the good relationship 617-369-3626 they maintained with each other made the transition easier on my siblings and me. In the end, I have learned that in situations such as this, I could dwell on how life could be, or accept how it is, and make the best of it.” SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 35
  • 38.
    The Bonus Parent BY TAM I B UTCH ER Reprinted with permission from Your Teen magazine. y 14-year-old fresh- no visitation fights; we saw Mom when President. Bonus Mom Nancy was a man daughter we wanted and Dad when we wanted. stay-at-home mom who taught us the enjoyed her first No this weekend here, that Wednes- meaning of a handwritten card versus homecoming this day there. We lived in both houses and an email or text message. Mom took us fall. On the big night, they never talked badly about each to banquets for senators; Nancy took she was giddy, so ex- other around us. We actually thought us to book signings and plays. Taking cited, and to top it off, the boy of her they were still best of friends. They set the great from both ladies, my sisters dreams asked her to go. I had forgot- their egos aside. It was obvious that and I became strong, independent ten those feelings until now. For me, they were committed to making our leaders in high school, who ran for it was a flashback to that special time lives easier, and it worked. Student Council but sat with the during my own teen years. She walked person at lunch who was eating alone. down the stairs to a veritable sea of Mom remarried Ken. I found it dif- Both women molded us into the eyes— two grandparents, two bonus ficult to love him at first because I felt people we are today and shaped grandparents, one sister, one brother, guilty; I loved my dad so much. Ken how we raise our children. neighbors, my husband, and myself. understood and told us he was not our dad, and that he could never replace That’s why I am the luckiest per- This was one of those moments I our dad. son in the world. I grew up with a bo- had talked about with my kids. I always nus family, with all its bonus benefits told them how lucky they were to have He just wanted to fill the parental that trickle down into the balanced so much family to help them celebrate void when our dad was not around. environment I try to provide for my those moments in life. Watching my This communication was so important. teenage kids. daughter’s four grandparents—my own mom and dad, plus my bonus mom Dad met Nancy when I was 14. While most children of divorce (father’s wife) and bonus dad (moth- She was nothing like Mom. Mom was have memories of sorrow and a sense er’s husband)—relish in the joy of her a businesswoman, savvy and sleek. of loss, I am the opposite. first homecoming, I felt that she was Nancy loved the outdoors, animals, so lucky to have so many people who and a great book. I loved her immedi- People think my life is unrealistic. loved her so much. And, I realized then ately. She exuded warmth to everyone I think anger and bitterness are a state that I was also lucky, for as unorthodox she met. Nancy made it clear she was of mind that we can change at any and rare as my upbringing may seem here to love our dad and us, not to time. My upbringing showed me that to others, it was a gift to me. replace Mom. I believe that once both I am in control of my own destiny and my parents found happiness, life got happiness, nobody else. My parents Surely this sounds strange. Yes, much better for everyone. put their children first; their selfless- my 11-year-old life was turned upside ness made me a better person. I am down when my parents got divorced, My mom never felt threatened by grateful for the many “bonuses” in my but I can now describe this as “lucky” Nancy; she felt relief—relief that when life and that I can pass them along as because I know that my parents were she was called into work, Nancy could gifts to my own children. not happy together. Some people are cheer us on at our softball games, just not meant to be. They married relief that when State Legislative ses- young and had three children under sions fell into days with no breaks, the age of three by the time they were Nancy had an eye on her teenage girls, 21 years old. They could have been un- making sure they were staying out of happy for years, filtering that unhappi- trouble and the boys were standing ness down to my two younger sisters clear. The gaps of a working mother and me, making all our lives miserable. were filled in by the love of a stay-at- Instead, they broke ties early and let home bonus mom, and we appreciated everyone get on with our lives. and noticed it. My parents made a commitment Mom was a successful business- to make the divorce as easy as pos- woman who taught us how to fill out sible, especially for us girls. There were a resume and run for Student Body Tami Butcher, the author of My Bonus Mom! Taking the Step out of Stepmom, and her husband, Mike, have three children—ages 7, 10, and 14. For more information, go to www.mybonusmombook.com. 36 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
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    night, I sawmy mom pack up all of my father’s things and give them to one of his friends to take to him. After my father officially moved out of our house, he filed TEEN the divorce proposal, and the three-year court battle began. MORGAN As the weeks played out, I saw my mom go to court over the things that she needed to take care of us that my father was T HOMAS trying to deny her. “D The whole process seemed endless, and as I watched it unfold, I saw my father put more challenges in front of my ivorce was never real to me until my parents were mom. My mom wasn’t fighting for everything my dad owned actually filing. This experience solidified divorce in my world as or anything absurd, she was simply fighting for what she something that can be both liberating and limiting. Divorce breaks needed to pay for health insurance, doctors and orthodontist the chains that hold people back from what they truly want, while appointments, and other basic needs. creating new burdens that hadn’t existed before the break. In the end, my mom was able to obtain the legal agreement When I first found out about my parents’ problems, which that my father couldn’t run off and leave her to care for all mainly were caused by my father’s affair, I was devastated and just three of us without his just contribution. However, that still shut down. I don’t know what I had expected to happen, but I only hasn’t stopped him from trying to evade his responsibilities hoped that it was best for them both. They went to counseling, and even now. I saw my mom really try to work things out, but this effort was in I cannot truly say that I’m not mad at my Dad for what vain due to my father’s perception that he’d done nothing wrong. he’s done to my family, but I can say that I have forgiven him Once I realized his lack of remorse, I couldn’t hold back all of the and moved on, despite all the pain he still causes me with his anger I felt towards him. actions and attitudes. Even when things are really hard to Throughout the whole divorce process, I felt hurt and sick- deal with, I am thankful that my family is blessed enough in ened by him. He continued to be self-righteous, and sadly, on the the simplest of ways. Even now that my family is small and Fourth of July, his affair, which we thought he had put to rest, was broken, the peace that comes with the separation is something fully exposed as we returned home from a baseball game. That that would have never happened without the divorce.” WHAT IS YOUR CHILD DOING NEXT SUMMER TO STAND OUT FOR COLLEGE? Give your child a competitive edge for college acceptance at a People to People Leadership Summit. On the campuses of prestigious universities they can gain valuable leadership skills, interact with motivated students from around the globe, hear firsthand from experts at the top of their fields, and have a fantastic time along the way. LEADERSHIP SUMMIT LEADERSHIP IN ACTION SPOTLIGHT: Harvard University Yale University July 28 – August 3, 2013 ADDITIONAL PEOPLE TO PEOPLE LEADERSHIP SUMMITS: PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY Washington, D.C. Columbia University and The George Washington University SERVICE IN ACTION Tulane University FILM AND THE ARTS UCLA TECHNOLOGY Stanford University BUSINESS AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP University of Chicago MEDICINE AND HEALTH CARE Johns Hopkins University Apply today at P2PLeadershipSummits.com SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 37
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    S P EC I A L P R O M OT I O N The Camp-College Connection HOW OVERNIGHT CAMP PREPARES TEENS FOR COLLEGE By Lucy Norvell of the American Camp Association, New England A teen’s first experience living away from home builds a tremendous foundation for the transition to college. Summer Camps are intentional communities that are not only designed to foster optimal youth development, but also provide opportunities for personal growth in a fun, safe, and educational environment. Of course, there are many benefits to attending a struc- camps provide authentic and meaningful decision- tured camp program at any age, but here are four key making opportunities for teens. All of these ma- ways they help teens prep for campus life: jor—and minor—choices can be precursors to the types of decisions college students face. Separation—Whether the session length is two weeks or the entire summer, overnight camp provides a trial Collaboration—21st century skills are vital for teens separation from parents. In many cases, campers will to be productive members of society and the be living away from home for the first time, which workforce today. The ability to collaborate with can be a big step for many teens. This trial period people who may come from very different back- can alleviate much of the emotional stress faced by grounds is just one of those skills. Living, playing, freshmen “leaving the nest” and beginning their first learning, and working together at summer camp year of college. provides excellent groundwork for group academic assignments that have become increasingly more Independence—It’s certainly a long journey from prevalent at college. birth to full-blown independence. At camp, young people are charged with taking care of themselves The Camp-College connection is significant. The “learn- and their belongings. In addition, they must organize ing by doing” that summer programs offer is instru- their day-to-day activities and manage their personal mental in helping teens navigate college—and beyond! relationships with peers. Simply put, the camp expe- rience is all about youth independence, which makes To find a camp using the ACA’s online camp search tool for an easier transition to college. Your son or daugh- and read more about why every child deserves a camp ter will arrive at college with tried and true systems experience, visit www.campparents.org. for not only managing their schedules and lifestyle, but also for getting along with others. And learning how to navigate emotional and social issues at camp is valuable groundwork for college friendships. Individual Decision-Making—Campers have to make both large and small decisions, and then deal with Lucy Norvell is the Director of Public Information for the American Camp the consequences of these decisions. From the Association, New England, a 501(c)(3) organization that serves as the power to choose an elective activity (for example, leading source for summer camp information and resources in CT, MA, ME, whether to try something new or stick with a favorite NH, RI, and VT. Contact www.acanewengland.org to discover how to find hobby) or the ability to create a menu for the day, the best-fit camp for your teen. 38 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
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    DIRECTORY Categories SMART TRACK™ TOOLKIT’S DINING O U T COLLEGE ADMISSIONS BOOTCAMP We are pleased to provide you with UNO CHICAGO GRILL The Smart Track™ Toolkit helps high a comprehensive Directory of local school families with the entire college Uno Chicago Grill has been a favorite and national programs, schools, admissions and planning process. Students for delicious pizza, but we do so much colleges, and regional services and will leave the Bootcamp with a completed more! Uno is proud to support local admissions essay, list of schools, financial communities with our Dough Rai$ers businesses that meet the needs of aid strategies, a head start on the rest fundraising program for non-profits. To families with teens. date, we’ve donated more than $4 million of their peers, and more! Contact: Jay Robie, (508) 533-3055 x277, dollars! Host an event at your local Uno College Resources and earn up to 20% of sales generated from jay.robie@smarttracktoolkit.com Colleges Location: Babson College, MA guests to support your cause. Call today and www.smarttracktoolkit.com/bootcamp start making money for your organization! Dining Out Contact: Nami Zylbersztajn, (516) 504-8649, nami.zylber@unos.com Health Services Locations: 25 Unos locations in Independent Advisors CO L L E G E S Greater Boston www.unos.com Independent Schools BERKLEE COLLEGE OF MUSIC Local Programs & Classes Berklee College of Music was founded on Overnight Summer & the revolutionary principal that the best H E ALT H S E RVICE S Gap Year Programs way to prepare students for careers in music is through the study and practice Recreation & Entertainment THE LANDING AT MCLEAN of contemporary music. Contact: Admissions Office, (800) 237-5533, HOSPITAL Shopping admissions@berklee.edu The Landing at McLean Hospital is a four- Tutoring & Test Prep Location: Boston, MA to six-week residential treatment program www.berklee.edu for adolescents (up to age 19) struggling with substance abuse and psychiatric illness. COL L E G E RE SOU R C E S Individuals are treated by expert Harvard ITHACA COLLEGE SCHOOL affiliated clinical staff. AMERICAN COUNCIL ON OF MUSIC Contact: (877) 412-3445, Since its founding in 1892 as a conserva- mcleanlanding@mclean.harvard.edu EDUCATION (ACE) tory, the Ithaca College School of Music Location: Belmont, MA ACE is the only higher education organiza- www.mcleanlanding.org has earned the reputation as one of the best tion that represents presidents and chancel- in the nation. It offers world-class faculty, lors of all types of U.S. accredited, degree- performance opportunities, updated facilities, granting institutions: community colleges liberal arts courses, and career placement. and four-year institutions, private and Contact: Thomas Kline, Director of INDE PE NDE N T ADV IS O RS public universities, and non-profit and Music Admissions, (607) 274-3171, for-profit colleges. music@ithaca.edu Contact: Carolyn Stanek Lucy, ACADEMIC LIFE COACHING Location: Ithaca, NY Associate Director, National Initiatives, www.ithaca.edu/music Individually tailored for each teen, this (202) 939-9358, cstaneklucy@acenet.edu Location: Washington, D.C. one-on-one life coaching program empow- www.acenet.edu ers students with a set of skills and tools to SCHOOL OF THE MUSEUM OF help them become academically efficient, FINE ARTS, BOSTON (SMFA) emotionally self-aware, and personally CITIZENS BANK confident. One of only three art schools in the U.S. af- Contact: Gina Halsted, (781) 258-9085, Citizens Bank is committed to making filiated with a major museum—the Museum education affordable by offering banking ghalsted@comcast.net of Fine Arts, Boston—the SMFA’s mission Location: Lincoln, MA and borrowing products that help college is to provide an interdisciplinary fine arts students finance their education. Our TruFit www.alcteen.com education that values cultural, artistic, and Student Loan® is available with a fixed or intellectual diversity. variable rate option, and repayment options Contact: Admissions Office, (800) 643-6078 to best fit a student’s needs. or (617) 369-3626, admissions@smfa.edu Contact: Education Finance Specialists, Location: Boston, MA (800) 708-6684, TURN PAGE FOR www.smfa.edu educationfinance@citizensbank.com MORE LISTINGS! www.citizensbank.com/trufitstudentloan SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 39
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    DIRECTORY AMG EDUCATIONAL POPP & ASSOCIATES, LLC BOSTON ARCHITECTURAL CONSULTANTS Popp & Associates provides expert admis- COLLEGE SUMMER ACADEMY Counseling in college and independent sions guidance to college-bound students of Spend four weeks this summer exploring school placement since 1988, Andrea all ages. We are committed to supporting architecture and design through hands-on Glovsky has successfully helped hundreds students and families in a sensitive and hon- projects in the Boston Architectural College of students by matching their interests and est manner, and personalize our services to design studios in Boston’s Back Bay. abilities to the most appropriate school. address students’ individual needs and goals. Construct scale models and experiment Guidance is provided face-to-face or elec- Contact: Mindy Popp, (781) 859-9116, with a wide range of materials and tronically by a combination of phone, email, mpopp@poppandassociates.com design methods. and Skype. Local, regional, and interna- Location: Wellesley Hills, MA Contact: Nadine Gerdts or Jennie Pardoe, tional clients served. www.poppandassociates.com (617) 585-0101, summer@the-bac.edu Contact: Andrea Glovsky, (978) 526-7809, Location: Boston, MA amglovsky@comcast.net www.the-bac.edu/summer Locations: Beverly and Manchester, MA www.findingcolleges.com I NDE P E N DE NT S CH O O LS BOSTON BALLET SCHOOL LANDMARK SCHOOL Boston Ballet School has a long-standing ARTSBRIDGE, LLC Founded in 1971, Landmark School offers dedication to excellence and access, and ArtsBridge is an educational consulting firm a full range of personalized programs reaches more than 10,000 students ages 9 specializing in helping high school and and for students in grades 2 through 12 with months to adult each year through classes, college transfer students in the performing language-based learning disabilities, such as our Summer Dance Workshop, Summer arts navigate through the unique college dyslexia. Landmark is situated on two beau- Dance Program, Citydance, Taking Steps, application and audition process. Summer tiful campuses 25 miles north of Boston. and Adaptive Dance. programs available. Contact: Carol Bedrosian, (978) 236-3000, Contact: School Administrator, Boston Contact: (855) 778-ARTS or (855) 778-2787, admission@landmarkschool.org (617) 456-6260; Marblehead (617) 456-6380; info@artsbridge.com Locations: Manchester-by-the-Sea and Newton (617) 456-6263; Locations: Various program locations Prides Crossing, MA school@bostonballet.org in the Greater Boston area www.landmarkschool.org Locations: Boston, Marblehead, www.artsbridge.com and Newton, MA www.bostonballet.org/school NOBLE AND GREENOUGH COLLEGE COACH SCHOOL College Coach is the recognized leader in The Noble and Greenough School is a ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE educational advising, offering step-by-step rigorous academic community dedicated PROGRAM guidance and insider knowledge from for- to inspiring leadership for the public good. The Environmental Science Program is a mer senior admissions officers, to assist high Nobles is a coeducational, nonsectarian day unique camp for girls and boys entering school students and their families through and five-day boarding school for students grades 7 - 10. Students learn about the the college admissions process. in grades 7 through 12. environment by hiking, biking, canoeing, Contact: Erica Blades, Manager of Contact: Jennifer Hines, (781) 320-7100, doing an environmental cleanup project, Client Services, (877) 40-COACH or admission@nobles.edu and climbing Mt. Washington. (877) 402-6224, Location: Dedham, MA Contact: David Backer, Executive Director, erica.blades@getintocollege.com www.nobles.edu (617) 969-0288, contact@newtonenvisci.org Locations: Newton, MA plus 12 other Location: Newton, MA offices nationwide www.newtonenvisci.org www.getintocollege.com LO C A L PRO G RAMS & C L ASS E S INTERNSHIP CONNECTION ONE-ON-ONE COLLEGE CONSULTING Internship Connection is a structured, BEAVER SUMMER PROGRAMS educational program that provides high One-on-One College Consulting is a Beaver Summer Programs offer teens a school and college students with real-world private, comprehensive educational consult- variety of summer specialty camp opportu- career experience through summer and gap ing service that specializes in guiding high nities through one- or two-week intensive year internships. Students live at home and school students and their families in explor- experiences in the arts, athletics, or outdoors work in part-time positions matched to ing options, and making informed decisions adventures. Specific programs include their career interests. regarding the college admissions process. Simply Circus, Beaver Off-Broadway, Contact: Dr. Carole Jabbawy, Contact: Kim Penney, (781) 246-4111, High Adventure, and Extreme Sports. (617) 796-9283, kimpenney@oneononecollegeconsulting.com Contact: Nat Saltonstall, (617) 738-2750, carole@internshipconnection.com Location: Wakefield, MA camp@bcdschool.org Locations: Boston, MA and New York, NY www.oneononecollegeconsulting.com Location: Beaver Country Day School in www.internshipconnection.com Chestnut Hill, MA www.bcdcamp.org 40 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
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    MEADOWBROOK SUMMER PROGRAMS: TEENTRIPPING PROGRAM A series of one-week programs designed for young teens completing 7th or 8th Uno is proud to support the local communities grade. Join your teammates as you go it serves with our Dough Rai$ers program. on fun, challenging day trips such as sea kayaking, hiking, visiting Project To date, we’ve donated over $4 million to deserving Adventure, white water rafting, surfing, organizations! Host a lunch or dinner and more. at a local Uno and earn up to 20% of sales Contact: Renee Mitchell, (781) 647-0546, camp@meadowbrook-ma.org generated from guests. Location: Newton, MA www.daycamp.meadowbrook-ma.org URBANFRAME - SUMMER YOUTH COMMUNITY DESIGN/BUILD URBANFRAME offers teens a unique hands-on introduction to design and Contact Nami Zylbersztajn at architecture. Based at MIT and under the 561-504-8649 or nami.zylber@unos.com. guidance of an architecture professor and team of graduate students, youth design, START MAKING MONEY FOR YOUR NON-PROFIT TODAY. build, and install real architecture for the community. Contact: Daniel Hewett, (617) 444-9904, dmh@urbanframe.org Location: Cambridge, MA www.urbanframe.org WRITE FOR COLLEGE Write for College is a three-week, two- hours-a-day writing course for students entering grades 10, 11, or 12. All forms of writing are covered, with emphasis on essays, plus preparation for SAT, ACT, MCAS, and for seniors, the personal college essay. Contact: Don Stewart, (617) 489-5662, donstewarts@gmail.com Location: Belmont, MA www.writeforcollege.com To showcase your business or service in the Life with Teens Directory contact sales@teenlife.com. SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 41
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    DIRECTORY OVE RN I G HT S U M M E R PEOPLE TO PEOPLE LEADER- BOSTON BALLET & GA P YE A R P RO GR AMS SHIP AMBASSADOR PROGRAMS Since 1963, Boston Ballet has been one of During Leadership Summits on the cam- the leading dance companies in the world on puses of prestigious universities, students stage, in the studio, and in the community. ASPIRE BY API gain valuable leadership skills, explore Under the leadership of Artistic Director Trek through jungles, climb volcanoes, and careers, and prepare for college, while earn- Mikko Nissinen and Executive Director volunteer in Costa Rica! Explore the medi- ing academic credit and making friends with Barry Hughson, the Company maintains an eval cities, castles, and cathedrals of Europe! students from around the globe. internationally acclaimed repertoire. Brush up on the French, Irish, Italian, or Contact: Natasha Porter, (888) 275-5061, Contact: Box Office, (617) 695-6955, Spanish language and culture, and potential- info@peopletopeople.com tickets@bostonballet.org ly earn college credit before graduating high Locations: Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Location: Boston, MA school! The opportunity is yours—experi- Columbia, Johns Hopkins, Tulane and www.bostonballet.org ence the world with Aspire by API! George Washington universities, UCLA, Contact: Courtney Link, (512) 600-8921, and University of Chicago courtney@aspirebyapi.com www.p2pleadershipsummits.com S H O PPING Locations: Costa Rica, England, France, Ireland, Italy, and Spain www.aspirebyapi.com SUMMER ACADEMY IN APPLIED THE MALL AT CHESTNUT HILL SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY Taste, smell, touch, see, and shop The CARPE DIEM EDUCATION (SAAST) Mall at Chestnut Hill—intercontinental Carpe Diem’s study abroad programs are cuisine, fresh flowers, supple leathers, exotic The Summer Academy in Applied Science perfumes, and fine merchandise at the only designed to safely challenge every student. & Technology (SAAST) at the University Through service, travel, and community and Bloomingdale’s in New England, Michael of Pennsylvania welcomes highly motived Kors, Tiffany & Co., L’occitane, Apple cultural exchange, our students receive a and talented students to explore engineering unique and personal insight into themselves Computer, and more. at the college level, combining sophisticated Contact: (617) 965-3038 and the cultures they live within and explore. theory with hands-on, practical experience College credit is available through Portland Location: Chestnut Hill, MA in cutting-edge technologies. www.simon.com State University. Contact: Paige Harker, (215) 898-0053, Contact: Ethan Knight, (503) 285-1800, saast@seas.upenn.edu info@carpediemeducation.org Location: Philadelphia, PA Locations: Australia, Brazil, Cambodia, www.seas.upenn.edu/saast T U TO RING & T E ST P RE P Costa Rica, Ecuador, Fiji, Honduras, Hopi Nation, India, Navajo Nation, New Zealand, Nicaragua, Peru, Rwanda, Tanzania, THE PRINCETON REVIEW Thailand, Uganda, and Vietnam R E C R E AT IO N & No matter what your goals are, we have over www.carpediemeducation.org E N T E RTA INME NT 30 years of experience offering leading SAT, ACT, and PSAT prep courses and tutoring EARTHCONNECT COSTA 5 WITS, FEATURING ESPIONAGE programs designed to provide a complete RICAN ADVENTURES AND 20,000 LEAGUES and personalized experience that fits your 5 Wits is a one-of-a-kind attraction in learning style, schedule, and budget. EarthConnect is a fusion between a camp Contact: Shannon Shepardson, and abroad experience in one of Earth’s most Patriot Place, Foxborough. 5 Wits is an interactive adventure, offering multiple (800) 447-0254, infoboston@review.com splendid places. Each two-, three-, or four- Locations: Newton, MA; Online week adventure features cultural immersion, puzzles and obstacles in a real life, highly detailed environment. 5 Wits features two www.princetonreview.com service, wilderness exploration, and educa- tion. Join us for an unforgettable summer! attractions: Espionage and 20,000 Leagues. Contact: Wendy Brown, (800) 551-7887, Contact: Joe Botsch, (508) 698-1600 x607, VERITAS TUTORS wendy@costaricanadventures.com jbotsch@5-wits.com Location: Costa Rica Location: Foxborough, MA Veritas specializes in subject tutoring, www.costaricanadventures.com www.5-wits.com test preparation, and college admissions consultation. With personalized coaching from outstanding educators at Harvard and EMERSON COLLEGE SUMMER ARTSBOSTON MIT, as well as a staff of former Ivy League PROGRAMS ArtsBoston is the region’s largest and most Admissions Officers, Veritas will help you Explore communication and the arts in a comprehensive non-profit arts service achieve your academic potential. summer program at Emerson College. Five- organization. With innovative programs like Contact: Adrian Jones, (617) 395-4160, week programs include: stage design, musical ArtsBoston.org and BosTix discount ticket- info@veritutors.com theatre performance, acting, filmmaking, ing, patrons benefit from our commitment to Locations: Cambridge, MA; Online creative writing, and film production. The keeping the arts accessible and affordable. www.veritutors.com college also offers two-week programs in Contact: Customer Service, (617) 262-8632 political communication and journalism. x229, customerservice@artsboston.org Contact: Tori Weston, (617) 824-8280, Location: Boston, MA continuing@emerson.edu www.artsboston.org Location: Boston, MA www.emerson.edu/ce
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    HAPPENING Mark your calendars! Hereare some family-friendly events to enjoy in Greater Boston this summer. JUNE JULY Thursday, June 28 – Wednesday, July 4 Tuesday, July 3 Boston Harborfest Boston Pops Warm-Up Various locations around Boston Concert Boston Harborfest is a six-day long Fourth The Charles River Esplanade, Boston of July festival that showcases the colonial 4:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m and maritime heritage of the historic City of Get a sneak peak at the Pops Goes the Boston. The festival honors and remembers Fourth Spectacular at this free dress the past, celebrates the present, and educates rehearsal performance by the Charles. about the future with reenactments, concerts, Stick around for the huge fireworks historical tours, and more. display over the river in a grand finale. www.bostonharborfest.com www.celebrateboston.com/july-4th.htm DAVID FOX SUMMER 2012 LIFE WITH TEENS 43
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    Sunday, July 8 Vintage Baseball Tournaments AUGUST Sign up at Georges Island, Boston 11:00 a.m. – 3:30 p.m. Step into the 1860’s and watch Civil Saturday, August 4 The City-Wide Book Sale Boston Public Library Central Branch War-era baseball games played at historic 10:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. Fort Warren with original rules and uni- TeenLife forms. Also running Sunday, August 19. The City-Wide Friends of the Boston Pub- www.bostonharborislands.org/ lic Library host a sale of donated books. All park-calendar proceeds benefit the Boston Public Library. www.bpl.org/news/calendar.htm .commag Sunday, July 15 – Tuesday, July 17 Saturday, August 11 South Shore Arts Festival Cohasset 1st Annual Boston Tee Party & Design/Artist Expo to keep South Shore Art Center Arts Festival celebrates its 57th year and showcases artists Boston Teacher’s Union Hall, Boston The Tee Gazette will join local and national getting your from New England and beyond. The Arts Festival features almost one hundred juried indie t-shirt brands, designers, and artists at free exhibitor booths, a juried art exhibition and the first annual Boston Tee Party & Design/ members’ show, live music performances, Artist Expo to showcase their latest designs. artist demonstrations, children’s art activi- www.teegazette.com/2012/03/update-on- ties, and a young artist exhibition. the-boston-tee-party www.ssac.org/festival.asp Thursday, August 16 – Saturday, August 18 subscription of Wednesday, July 25 – Sunday, August 12 (Tuesday – Sunday evenings) Boston GreenFest 2012 Boston City Hall Plaza Free Shakespeare on the Boston GreenFest 2012 is a festival filled Common: Coriolanus with fun learning experiences to address the Parkmand Bandstand at Boston Common important changes we need to make in our For its 17th season of Shakespeare on the daily lives and our neighborhoods. It will Common, Commonwealth Shakespeare begin at Boston City Hall Plaza with a Company (CSC) is proud to present the Kick-off Concert on Thursday, August 16, political drama Coriolanus. The play charts from 5:00 p.m. – 9:30 p.m. Events continue the rise and fall of a powerful general as Friday through Saturday. he battles enemies abroad, and a tide www.bostongreenfest.org of popularity at home in Rome. www.commshakes.org/performances Wednesdays and Fridays throughout August Summer Street Markets Friday, July 27 – Sunday, July 29 Downtown Crossing, Boston Boston Summer Arts Weekend Downtown Boston’s largest outdoor arts and Copley Square, Boston crafts market is expandeding to Wednesdays The Boston Globe and WGBH have created and Fridays through October. All original, the inaugural Summer Arts Weekend in handmade pieces: fine art, jewelry, clothing Boston. Presented by Citizens Bank, this and accessories, artisan foods, photography, weekend event will celebrate the arts with a wood-, glass-, and metalworks, fiber arts, free festival, special offers around the city, and more available. and ticketed performances. With music rang- www.summerstreetmarkets.com ing from classical and jazz to bluegrass and soul, along with dramatic theater and street performers, Summer Arts Weekend will showcase Boston’s thriving arts community. www.boston.com/ae/theater_arts/ summer_arts_weekend/2012 Fridays throughout July and August Free Friday Flicks at the Hatch Shell The Hatch Shell, Boston The movies start at dusk, and are usually films that were huge box office successes, both recent and modern classics. The Hatch Shell lawn fills up on a first-come, first- served basis. Bring a blanket or lawn chair and enjoy this family-friendly free event. www.celebrateboston.com/free-friday- flicks.htm 44 LIFE WITH TEENS SUMMER 2012
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    THEATRE+MUSIC+DANCE+COMEDY 1/2 PRICE TICKETS AND MORE The definitive source for all things arts in Greater Boston, including teen and family-friendly events year-round. ALSO AVAILABLE AT FULL PRICE: FREEDOM TRAIL WALKING TOURS + GO BOSTON CARDS + BOSTON DUCK TOURS + NEW ENGLAND AQUARIUM + MORE A P R O G R A M O F