John Shirt arrived at Ramsview School on September 9th 1963 and saw which dormitory he was assigned to, Dormitory No. 8. On his first day, strange events occurred like his clothes attacking others and a tree tossing him in the air. He was punished severely by the headmaster for any complaints. Life at the school was difficult, with harsh teachers and dangerous activities like swimming in dirty water and playing football in a swamp with a spiked ball. John remained at the school for 3 years.

1. JOHN SHIRT’S SCHOOLDAYS
John Shirt arrived at Ramsview School at 2.55pm on September 9th
1963.
He got out of the taxi and walked into the entrance hall.
At the far end of the entrance hall stood the blackboards showing
what dormitories the boys would be in.
Here are a list of the dormitories.
Dormitory no.1
1. John Paper
2. John Eel
3. Simon Bus
Dormitory no.2
1. Piano Ink
2. George Imbert
3. David Fearnley

2. 4. Alan Machine
5. Terry table
6. William Minor
7. Sergeant Major
Dormitory no.3
1. Peasie Phonebox
2. Henry Cup ' O' Tea
3. Harold Mince
Dormitory no.4
1. Head Master
2. Chair Legs
3. Clive Contract
4. Jimmy work
5. Ooyah bed

3. Dormitory no.5
1. Bully Boots
2. Fruit Bread
Dormitory no.6
1. Terry Bigfoot
2. Johnny School
These six are a few of the dormitories In Ramsview school.
There are a total of 35 dormitories.
John Shirt was to be in dormitory no.8.
When he got into the headmaster's office he was told that he would
remain at this boarding until he reached the age of 16.
The headmaster signed him in soon after the boy's parents signed a
form stating that he would reside at this school until he reached the

4. age of 16.
Soon afterwards the new boy left the headmaster's office made his
way to the dining room for tea.
It was a high tea for it included a meal.
The meal he had was a roast wallet and grilled finger nails, together
with grass and wood.
After tea the new boy flew out into the playground.
All of a sudden a tree pounced on John Shirt and tossed him up into
the air.
John Shirt let out and icy scream.
The icy yell brought Mr. Weekend Leave, the headmaster out.
"Hey you!
stop your yelling or I'll stuff a lamp post down your throat.
"It was that tree, Headmaster, shouted John Shirt.
"If yo say that once more I'll send you to bed in the dog's kennel.
"But Sir, I got beaten up by a tree.
"Don't argue John Shirt, if you do I'll knock you to another country
where you will be made a slave, digging the sea."
So John Shirt obeyed the headmaster's orders and walked into the
school.

5. At 6.00pm the new boy went into the school to unpack his clothes,
when all of a sudden a pair of pyjamas jumped out of the suitcase
and attacked the school the school matron.
She caught such a fright that she flew out of the window and jumped
onto a tree.
Meanwhile, angry boys were trying to get at the pyjamas that
chucked the school matron out of the
window.
All of a sudden a suitcase burst open and all of the clothes inside
cried.
The hullabaloo was heard by Mr.Empty, the bald - headed teacher
who wore giant spectacles.
He caught such a fright when he saw the clothes dancing about and
crying.
"I suppose you did this said the teacher.
I saw the school matron frightened out of her life hiding up a tree.
"Now come with me to the head's office, you lot will get a whacking."
The boys got whacked 7 times.
"That's for frightening the school matron out of her wits.
You caused her to jump out of the window and fly up a tree."
Soon after the boys got thrashed they got sent to bed.

6. "That new boy started it, so,
'let's beat him up"
The new boy got beaten up good and proper.
Soon after he got beaten up he lost his head then got sent to bed,
and what a bed it was, for it had no mattress, just a cardboard box
to sleep on.
For supper the new boy had a laughing chicken and peas as big as
footballs.
Next morning the new boy got up at 7.00am and made his way down
to the washroom to have a wash.
His toilet articles consisted of towel,soap, flannel and broom.
He washed his face, neck, breadbasket and hair, then flew down to
breakfast, eating his food on the floor.
Mr. Shorthair was on duty to make sure that no boy was late.
If he was late down for breakfast the boy would get scalped by the
teacher who was on duty.
After breakfast the boys flew up to their dormitories to make their
beds.
One boy put his bed into his locker. The teacher, Mr. Shorthair,
caught him and threw him out of the window.
John shirt laughed at the teacher when he saw Sydney Beer being
chucked out of the window.

7. The teacher said to the new boy,
"If you laugh once more I'll lock you up in the school prison.
When lessons came the boys went into their classes.
In one class there was a 20 foot tall teacher who was very very
strict.
Every boy was forced to swim in dirty water.
When the time came to play football every boy was ordered by the
teacher to run 500 mile an hour.
Not only that, there was worse, for the football had spikes sticking
out of it, and the football pitch was a swamp.
John Shirt remained at Ramsview School for 3 years