This document provides an eyewitness account by Jean Genet of his visit to the Shatila refugee camp in Beirut, Lebanon four days after the September 1982 massacre. In graphic and disturbing detail, Genet describes the hundreds of corpses he had to step over, many showing signs of torture. He questions locals about the identities and causes of death but receives no clear answers. The document conveys the horrific scene and stench of death amidst the bodies left in the sun. It questions the involvement and advance warning of Israeli, Phalangist and other forces in the killings.

1. Four Hours in Shatila
Author(s): Jean Genet
Source: Journal of Palestine Studies, Vol. 12, No. 3 (Spring, 1983), pp. 3-22
Published by: University of California Press on behalf of the Institute for Palestine Studies
Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/2536147 .
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2. Four Hours in Shatila
JEANGENET*
"Goyimkillgoyim,
andtheycometohangtheJews."
MenachemBegin
(Knesset,September1982)
Noone,nothing,nonarrativetechnique,canputintowordsthesix
months,andespeciallythefirstweeks,whichthefedayeenspentinthe
mountainsofJerashandAjlouninJordan.As forrelatingtheevents,
establishingthechronology,thesuccessesandfailuresofthePLO,thathas
beendonebyothers.Thefeelingintheair,thecolorofthesky,ofthe
earth,ofthetrees,thesecanbetold;butneverthefaintintoxication,the
lightnessoffootstepsbarelytouchingtheearth,thesparkleintheeyes,the
opennessofrelationshipsnotonlybetweenthefedayeenbutalsobetween
themandtheirleaders.Underthetrees,everything,everyonewasaquiver,
laughing,filledwithwonderat thislife,so newforall,andin these
vibrationstherewassomethingstrangelyimmovable,watchful,reserved,
protectedlikesomeonepraying.Everythingbelongedtoeveryone.Every-
one wasaloneinhimself.Andperhapsnot.In theend,smilingand
haggard.TheareainJordanwheretheyhad withdrawnforpolitical
reasonsextendedfromtheSyrianbordertoSalt,andwasboundedbythe
JordanRiverandtheroadfromJerashtoIrbid.About60kilometerslong
*JeanGenetisa Frenchpoetandplaywright.He also wroteon thePalestiniansintheAutumn1973
issueoftheJournal.

3. 4 JOURNAL OF PALESTINE STUDIES
and 20 deep,thismountainousareawascoveredwithholmoaks,little
Jordanianvillagesandsparsecrops.Underthetreesandthecamouflaged
tentsthefedayeenhadsetupcombatunitsandemplacedlightandsemi-
heavyarms.Theartilleryinplace,directedmainlyagainstpossibleJordan-
ian operations,youngsoldierswould takecare of theirweapons,dis-
assemblethemtocleanandgreasethem,thenreassemblethemquickly.
Somemanagedthisfeatofdisassemblingandreassemblingtheirweapons
blindfoldedso theycould do itat night.Betweeneach soldierand his
weapona loving,magicalbond had developed.Since thefedayeenhad
onlyrecentlyleftadolescencebehind,therifle,asa weapon,wasthesignof
triumphantvirilityand gave assuranceof being. Aggressivenessdis-
appeared:teethshowedbehindthesmile.
Therestofthetime,thefedayeendranktea,criticizedtheirleadersand
therich,Palestinianandothers,insultedIsrael,andabovealltheytalked
abouttherevolution,theonetheywereinvolvedinandtheonetheywere
abouttoenterupon.
Forme,theword"Palestinians," whetherina headline,inthebodyof
anarticle,on a handout,immediatelycallstomindfedayeenina specific
spot-Jordan-and ataneasilydetermineddate:October,November,De-
cember1970,January,February,March,April1971.Itwasthenandthere
thatI discoveredthePalestinianRevolution.Theextraordinaryevidence
ofwhatwashappening,theintensityofthisjoyatbeingaliveisalsocalled
beauty.
Ten yearswentby,and I heardnothingaboutthem,exceptthatthe
fedayeenwereinLebanon.The Europeanpressspokeoff-handedly,even
disdainfully,aboutthePalestinianpeople.Thensuddenly,WestBeirut.
* * *
A photographhastwodimensions,sodoesa televisionscreen;neither
canbe walkedthrough.Fromone wallofthestreettotheother,bentor
arched,withtheirfeetpushingagainstone wallandtheirheadspressing
againsttheother,theblackandbloatedcorpsesthatIhadtostepoverwere
allPalestinianandLebanese.Forme,as forwhatremainedofthepopula-
tion,walkingthroughShatilaandSabraresembleda gameofhopscotch.
Sometimesa deadchildblockedthestreets:theyweresosmall,sonarrow,
andthedeadso numerous.Thesmellisprobablyfamiliartooldpeople;it
didn'tbotherme.Buttherewereso manyflies.IfI liftedthehandkerchief
ortheArabnewspaperplacedovera head,I disturbedthem.Infuriatedby
myaction,theyswarmedontothebackofmyhandandtriedtofeedthere.

4. SHATILA 5
ThefirstcorpseI sawwasthatofa manfiftyorsixtyyearsold. He would
havehada shockofwhitehairifa wound(an axeblow,it seemedtome)
hadn'tsplithisskull.Partoftheblackenedbrainwason theground,next
tothethehead.Thewholebodywaslyingina pool ofblackandclotted
blood. Thebeltwasunbuckled,a singlebuttonheldthepants.Thedead
man'sfeetandlegswerebareandblack,purpleandblue;perhapshehad
beentakenbysurpriseatnightoratdawn.Was herunningaway?He was
lyingina littlealleyimmediatelytotherightoftheentrytoShatilacamp
whichisacrossfromtheKuwaitiEmbassy.Did theShatilamassacretake
placeinhushedtonesorintotalsilence,iftheIsraelis,bothsoldiersand
officers,claimtohaveheardnothing,tohavesuspectednothingwhereas
theyhadbeenoccupyingthisbuildingsinceWednesdayafternoon?
Aphotographdoesn'tshowthefliesnorthethickwhitesmellofdeath.
Neitherdoesitshowhowyoumustjumpoverbodiesas youwalkalong
fromone corpseto thenext.If you look closelyat a corpse,an odd
phenomenonoccurs:theabsenceoflifeinthisbodycorrespondsto the
totalabsenceofthebody,orrathertoitscontinuousbackingaway.You
feelthatevenbycomingcloseryoucannevertouchit. Thathappenswhen
youlookatit carefully.Butshouldyoumakea moveinitsdirection,get
downnexttoit, moveanarmora finger,suddenlyit isverymuchthere
andalmostfriendly.
Loveanddeath.Thesetwowordsarequicklyassociatedwhenoneof
themiswrittendown.IhadtogotoShatilatounderstandtheobscenityof
loveandtheobscenityofdeath.Inbothcasesthebodyhasnothingmore
tohide:posit.ions,contortions,gestures,signs,evensilencesbelongtoone
worldandtotheother.Thebodyofa manofthirtytothirty-fivewaslying
facedown.Asifthewholebodywasnothingbuta bladderintheshapeofa
man,it hadbecomeso bloatedinthesunand throughthechemistryof
decompositionthatthepantswerestretchedtightas thoughtheywere
goingtoburstopenatthebuttocksandthighs.Theonlypartoftheface
thatI couldseewaspurpleandblack.Slightlyabovethekneeyoucould
seea thighwoundunderthetornfabric.Causeofthewound:a bayonet,a
knife,adagger?Fliesonthewoundand aroundit. Hisheadwaslargerthan
a watermelon-ablackwatermelon.I askedhisname;he wasa Muslim.
"Who isit?"
"A Palestinian,"a manabout fortyansweredin French."See what
they'vedone."
He pulledbacktheblanketcoveringthefeetandpartofthelegs.The
calveswerebare,blackandswollen.Thefeet,inblackunlacedarmyboots,

5. 6 JOURNAL OF PALESTINE STUDIES
andtheanklesofbothfeetwereverytightlyboundtogetherbytheknotof
a strongrope-its strengthwas obvious-about ninefeetlong,whichI
arrangedso thatMrs.S. (an American)couldgeta good pictureofit.I
askedthemanoffortyifI couldseetheface.
"Ifyouwantto,butlook atityourself."
"Would youhelpmeturnhishead?"
"No."
"Did theydraghimthroughthestreetswiththisrope?"
"I don'tknow,sir."
"Who tiedhimup?"
"I don'tknow,sir."
"Was itHaddad'smen?"
"I don'tknow."
"The Israelis?"
"I don'tknow."
"The Kataeb?"
"I don'tknow."
"Did youknowhim?"
"Yes."
"Did youseehimdie?"
"Yes."
"Who killedhim?"
"I don'tknow."
He hastilywalkedawayfromthedead manand me. Fromafarhe
lookedbackatmeanddisappearedintoa sidestreet.
WhichalleyshouldI takenow?I wasdrawnbymenfiftyyearsold,by
youngmenoftwenty,bytwoold Arabwomen,andI feltas ifI werethe
centerofa compasswhosequadrantscontainedhundredsofdead.
I jot thisdown now,notknowingexactlywhyat thispointin my
narrative:"The Frenchhavea habitofusingtheinsipidexpression'dirty
work.'Well,justliketheIsraeliarmyorderedtheKataebortheHadda-
diststodo their'dirtywork,'theLaborPartyhadits'dirtywork'doneby
theLikud,Begin,Sharon,Shamir."I havejustquotedR., a Palestinian
journalistwhowasstillinBeiruton Sunday,September19.
Inthemiddle,nearthem,allthesetorturedvictims,mymindcan'tget
ridofthis"invisiblevision":whatwasthetorturerlike?Who washe?I see
himandIdon'tseehim.He's as largeaslifeandtheonlyshapehewillever
haveistheoneformedbythestances,positions,andgrotesquegesturesof
thedeadfermentinginthesunundercloudsofflies.

6. SHATILA 7
IftheAmericanMarines,the Frenchparatroopers,and theItalian
bersaglierewhomadeupaninterventionforceinLebanonleftso quickly
(theItalians,whoarrivedbyshiptwodayslate,fledinHerculesairplanes!)
onedayorthirty-sixhoursbeforetheirofficialdeparturedate,as ifthey
wererunningaway,andonthedaybeforeBashirGemayel'sassassination,
arethePalestiniansreallywronginwonderingifAmericans,Frenchand
Italianshadnotbeenwarnedtoclearoutprontosoasnottoappearmixed
up inthebombingoftheKataebheadquarters?
Theyleftveryquicklyandveryearly.Israelbragsandboastsaboutits
combatefficiency,itsbattlepreparedness,its skillin turningcircum-
stancestoitsfavor,increatingcircumstances.Let'ssee; thePLO leaves
Beirutintriumph,ona Greekship,witha navalescort.Bashir,hidingas
besthe can,visitsBeginin Israel.The interventionofthethreearmies
(American,French,Italian)comesto an end on Monday.On Tuesday,
Bashirisassassinated.Tsahal[IsraelDefenseForces]entersWestBeirut
on Wednesdaymorning.As iftheywerecomingfromtheport,Israeli
soldierswereadvancingon BeirutthemorningofBashir'sfuneral.With
binoculars,fromtheeighthfloorofmyhouseI sawthemcominginsingle
file:onecolumn.I wassurprisedthatnothingelsehappened,becausewith
a goodriflewitha sighttheycouldhavebeenpickedoff.Theirbrutality
precededthem.
Thetankscameafterthem.Thenthejeeps.
Tiredoutbysucha longearly-morningmarch,theystoppednearthe
FrenchEmbassy,lettingthetanksgo on aheadofthem,goingrightinto
Hamra.Thesoldierssatdownon thesidewalkatthirtyfootintervalsand
leanedagainsttheembassywall,theirriflespointedstraightahead.With
theirlongtorsostheylookedlikeboas withtwolegsstretchedoutinfront
ofthem.
"Israelhad promisedtheAmericanrepresentativeHabib notto set
footinWestBeirutandespeciallytorespectthecivilanpopulationsofthe
Palestiniancamps.Arafatstillhas theletterin whichReaganmadethe
samepromise.Habib supposedlypromisedArafatthatninethousand
prisonersinIsraelwouldbe freed.On ThursdaythemassacresinShatila
andSabrabegin.The'bloodbath'thatIsraelclaimeditwouldpreventby
restoringordertothecamps. . ." a Lebanesewritertoldme.
"It willbe veryeasyforIsraelto clearitselfofall theaccusations.
JournalistsofalltheEuropeanpressarealreadyatworkclearingthem:no
onewillsaythatonthenightsfromThursdaytoFridayandfromFridayto

7. 8 JOURNAL OF PALESTINE STUDIES
SaturdayHebrewwasspokeninShatila."ThatiswhatanotherLebanese
toldme.
The Palestinianwoman-for I couldn'tleave Shatilawithoutgoing
fromonecorpsetoanotherandthisjeudel'oie*wouldinevitablyendupat
thismiracle:ShatilaandSabrarazedtothegroundandrealestatebattlesto
rebuildon thisveryflatcemetery-thePalestinianwomanwasprobably
elderlybecauseherhairwasgray.Shewasstretchedoutonherback,laid
or leftthereon therubble,thebricks,thetwistedironrods,without
comfort.AtfirstI wassurprisedbya strangebraidmadeofropeandcloth
whichwentfromone wristto theother,holdingthetwoarmsapart
horizontally,asifcrucified.Herblackandswollenface,turnedtowardsthe
sky,revealedanopenmouth,blackwithflies,andteeththatseemedvery
whitetome,a facethatseemed,withoutmovinga muscle,eithertogrinor
smileorelseto cryout ina silentand unbrokenscream.Herstockings
wereblackwool,andherpinkandgrayflowereddress,slightlyhikedupor
tooshort,I don'tknowwhich,revealedthetopsofswollenblackcalves,
againwiththe delicatemauvetintsmatchedby a similarpurpleand
mauveinthecheeks.Werethesebruisesorthenaturalresultofrottingin
thesun?
"Did theystrikeherwiththebuttoftherifle?"
"Look, sir,look atherhands."
Ihadn'tnoticed.Thefingersofthetwohandswerespreadoutandthe
tenfingerswerecutasifwithgardeningshears.Soldiers,laughinglikekids
andgailysinging,hadprobablyhadfundiscoveringandusingtheseshears.
"Look, sir."
Theendsofthefingers,thetopjoints,withthenail,layinthedust.The
youngman,whowassimplyandnaturallyshowingmehowthedeadhad
been tortured,calmlyputa clothback overthefaceand handsofthe
Palestinianwoman,anda pieceofcorrugatedcardboardoverherlegs.AllI
coulddistinguishnowwasa heapofpinkand graycloth,hoveredover
byflies.
Threeyoungmenledmedownan alley.
"Go in,sir,we'llwaitforyououtside."
The firstroomwas whatremainedofa two-storyhouse.The room
gavean impressionofserenityandevenfriendliness,ofnearhappiness;
perhapsrealhappinesshadbeencreatedoutofothers'throwaways,with
whatsurvivesfroma destroyedpieceofwall,withwhatI firstthought
*Literally,gameofgoose,similarto "snakesand ladders,"a gameofchanceusingdice-Ed.

8. SHATILA 9
werethreearmchairs,actuallythreecarseats(perhapsa Mercedesfroma
junkyard),a couchwithcushionscoveredwithgaudyfloweredmaterial
withstylizeddesigns,a smallsilentradio,twounlitcandelabras.A fairly
quietroom,inspiteofthecarpetofspentshells.The door swung,as if
therewerea draft.I walkedonthespentshellsandpushedthedoor,which
openedtowardstheotherroom,butI hadtopushhard:theheelofa boot
blockedtheway,theheelofa corpselyingon itsback,neartwoother
corpsesofmenlyingfacedown,all ofthemrestingon anothercarpetof
spentshells.I nearlyfellseveraltimesbecauseofthem.
Atthebackoftheroomanotherdoorwasopen,withoutlockor/latch.
I steppedoverthebodiesas onecrosseschasms.Theroomcontainedthe
corpsesoffourmen,piledontopofeachotherona singlebed,as ifeach
one hadtakencareto protecttheone underhim,oras iftheyhadbeen
caughtin a decayingorgiasticcopulation.This pile of shieldssmelled
strongly,butitdidn'tsmellbad.Thesmellandtheflieshad,so itseemed,
gottenusedto me.I no longerdisturbedanythingintheseruins,inthis
quiet.
DuringthenightfromThursdayto Friday,and duringthosefrom
Fridayto Saturdayand Saturdayto Sundayno one had keptvigilwith
them,I thought.
Yet,itseemedtomethatsomeonehadvisitedthesedeadmenbefore
meandaftertheirdeath.Thethreeyoungmenwerewaitingfairlyfarfrom
thehousewithhandkerchiefsovertheirnoses.
Itwasthen,as I wascomingoutofthehouse,thatIhada suddenattack
ofslightmadnessthatmademealmostsmile.Ithoughttomyselfthatthere
wouldneverbeenoughboardsorcarpenterstomakethecoffins.Butthen
whywouldtheyneedcoffins?ThedeadmenandwomenwereallMuslims,
whoaresewnintoshrouds.Howmanyyardswouldittaketoenshroudso
manycorpses?Andhowmanyprayers?Whatwasmissinghere,I realized,
wastherhythmofprayers.
"Come,sir,comequickly."
Itistimetonotethatthissuddenandquitemomentarymadnesswhich
mademecountyardsofwhiteclothgaveanalmostbrisklivelinesstomy
step,andthatitmayhavebeencausedbya remarkI hearda Palestinian
womanfriendmakethedaybefore.
"I waswaitingforthemtobringmemykeys(whichkeys:tohercar,
herhouse,allIknownowisthewordkeys)whenanoldmanwentrunning
by. 'Whereare you going?''To gethelp. I'm thegravedigger.They've

9. 10 JOURNAL OF PALESTINE STUDIES
bombedthecemetery.Allthebonesareuncovered.I needhelpgathering
thebones'."
Thisfriendisa Christian,I think.Shecontinued:
"When thevacuumbomb,a so-calledimplosionbomb,killedtwo
hundredandfiftypeople,wehadonlyonebox.Themenduga massgrave
intheOrthodoxChurchcemetery.We filledthebox,andwenttoempty
it.We backandforthunderthebombs,diggingoutbodiesandlimbsas
bestwecould."
Overthelastthreemonths,handshavehada doublefunction:during
thedayto graspand touch,at night,to see. Electricitycutsmadethis
"(schoolfortheblind"necessary,asitdidtheclimbing,twoorthreetimes
a day,ofthatwhitemarblecliff,theeight-floorstairway.We hadtofillall
thecontainersinthehousewithwater.Thetelephonewascutoffwhenthe
IsraelisoldiersenteredWestBeirutalongwiththeirHebrewinscriptions.
So weretheroadsaroundBeirut.TheMerkavatankswhichneverstopped
showedtheywerekeepinganeyeon thewholecity,andatthesametime
oneimaginedthoseinsidescaredtheywouldbecomea fixedtarget.They
no doubtfearedtheactivityoftheMurabitoun*and thefedayeenwho
mightremaininsectionsofWestBeirut.
ThedayaftertheentranceoftheIsraeliarmywewereprisoners,butit
seemedtomethattheinvaderswerelessfearedthandespised,theycaused
lessfearthandisgust.No soldierwas laughingor smiling.No one was
throwingriceorflowers.
Sincetheroadshadbeencutoffandthetelephonewassilent,deprived
ofcontactwiththerestoftheworld,forthefirsttimeinmylife,I felt
myselfbecomePalestinianandhateIsrael.
AttheSportsStadium,neartheBeirut-Damascushighway,whichwas
alreadynearlycompletelydestroyedbyaerialbombardment,theLebanese
deliverpilesofweapons,all supposedlyvoluntarilydamaged,to Israeli
officers.
IntheapartmentwhereIamstaying,everyonehasa radio.We listento
Radio-Kataeb,Radio-Murabitoun,Radio-Amman,Radio-Jerusalem(in
French),Radio-Lebanon.Theyareprobablydoingthesamethinginevery
apartment.
"We are linkedto Israelby manycurrentswhichbringus bombs,
tanks,soldiers,fruit,vegetables;theycarryoffoursoldiers,ourchildren
to Palestine,in a continualand unceasingcomingand going,because
*A Nasseritegroupinthepro-PalestinianLebaneseNationalMovement-Ed.

10. SHATILA I I
accordingto them,we havebeenlinkedto themsinceAbraham,inhis
lineage,inhislanguage,inthesameorigins.. ." (A Palestinianfedai).
"In short,"he adds,"theyinvadeus,theystuffus,suffocateus and
wouldliketohugus.Theysaytheyareourcousins.They'reverysadtosee
us turnaway fromthem.They mustbe furiouswithus and with
themselves."
* * *
Thestatementthatthereisa beautypeculiartorevolutionariesraises
manyproblems.Everyoneknows,everyonesuspects,thatyoungchildren
oradolescentslivinginoldandharshsurroundingshavea beautyofface,
body,movementandgazesimilartothatofthefedayeen.Perhapsthismay
beexplainedinthefollowingway:breakingwiththeancientways,a new
freedompushesthroughthedeadskin,andfathersandgrandfatherswill
havea hardtimeextinguishingthegleamintheeyes,thethrobbinginthe
temples,thejoyofblood flowingthroughtheveins.
In thespringof 1971, in thePalestinianbases, thatbeautysubtly
pervadeda forestmadealivebythefreedomofthefedayeen.Inthecamps
a different,moremutedbeautyprevailedbecause of the presenceof
womenandchildren.Thecampsreceiveda sortoflightfromthecombat
bases,andas forthewomen,itwouldtakea longandcomplexdiscussion
toexplaintheirradiance.Evenmorethanthemen,morethanthefedayeen
incombat,thePalestinianwomenseemedstrongenoughto sustainthe
resistanceandacceptthechangesthatcamealongwitha revolution.They
hadalreadydisobeyedthecustoms:theylookedthemenstraightinthe
eye,theyrefusedtoweara veil,theirhairwasvisible,sometimescomplete-
lyuncovered,theirvoicessteady.The briefestandmostprosaicoftheir
taskswasbuta smallstepintheself-assuredjourneytowardsa new,and
thereforeunknown,order,but whichgavethema hintof a cleansing
liberationforthemselves,and a glowingprideforthemen.Theywere
readytobecomeboththewivesandthemothersofheroes,astheyalready
werefortheirmen.
In thewoodsofAjloun,thefedayeenwereperhapsdreamingofgirls
thoughitseems,rather,thateachone conjuredup orshapeda girllying
againsthim,hencetheparticulargracefulness,thestrength-withtheir
amusedlaughter-ofthearmedfedayeen.We werenotonlyatthedawnof
pre-revolutionbutina sensuallimbo.Acystallizingfrostgaveagentleness
toeveryaction.

11. 12 JOURNAL OF PALESTINE STUDIES
Constantly,and everyday fora month,alwaysin Ajloun,I saw a
skinnybutstrongwomancrouchinginthecold,crouchingliketheAndean
IndiansorcertainBlackAfricans,theuntouchablesofTokyo,theTziganes
atmarket,readytotakeoffsuddenlyincaseofdanger,undertreesinfront
oftheguardhouse,a small,hastilyerectedpermanentstructure.She was
waitingbarefootinherblackdresstrimmedwithbraidatthehemandon
theedgeofthesleeves.Herfacewasseriousbutnotill-tempered,tiredbut
notweary.The commandoleaderwouldpreparea nearlyemptyroom,
thenhewouldsignalher.Shewouldentertheroom,closingthedoor,but
notlockingit.Thenshewouldcomeout,withouta wordora smile,and
barefootandveryerect,wouldreturntoJerashandtoBaq'a camp.I found
outthatintheroomreservedforherintheguardhousesheusedtotakeoff
hertwoblackskirts,removetheenvelopesand theletterssewninside,
bundlethemtogetherand knockonce on thedoor. Turningtheletters
overtotheleadershewouldgooutandleavewithoutsayinga word.She
wouldcomebackthenextday.
Otherolderwomenwould laughbecause fora hometheyhad only
threeblackenedstoneswhich,atJebelHussein(Amman),theygleefully
referredtoas "ourhouse." Theyshowedmethethreestones,andsome-
timestheglowingcoals,withsuchchildlikevoices,laughingandsaying:
"darna."Theseold womenbelongedneithertotherevolutionnortothe
Palestinianresistance:theyweremirthwhichhas lostall hope.The sun
abovethemcontinueditsjourney.Anarmoranextendedfingercreated
anincreasinglythinshadow.Butwhatland?Jordan,throughanadminis-
trativeand politicalfictioncreatedbyFrance,England,Turkey,Amer-
ica...... "Mirthwhichhaslostallhope,"mostjoyfulbecauseitisthemost
desperate.Theystillsawa Palestinewhichno longerexistedwhenthey
weresixteen,butfinallytheyhada land.Theywereneitherundernoron
topofit,butina disturbingspacewhereanymovementwasa wrongone.
Underthebarefeetoftheseoctogenarianand supremelyeleganttrage-
dienneswas theearthsolid?It was lessand less true.Afterhavingfled
HebronunderIsraelithreatstheearthhereseemedsolid,everyonewas
lightheartedandmovedsensuouslyintheArabiclanguage.As timewent
bytheearthseemedtoexperiencethis:thePalestinianswerelessandless
bearableatthesametimeasthesesamePalestinians,thesepeasant-farmers,
werediscoveringmovement,walking,running,thepleasureofideasdealt
out nearlyeverydaylikeplayingcards,theweaponsassembled,disas-
sembledandused.Eachofthewomenspeaksinturn.Theyarelaughing.
One ofthemis reportedtohavesaid:

12. SHATILA 13
"Heroes!Whata joke!I gavebirthtoandspankedfiveorsixofthem
whoareinthejebel.I wipedtheirbottoms.I knowwhatthey'remadeof,
andI canmakesomemore."
In theever-blueskythesun has continueditsjourney,butit is still
warm.These tragediennesrememberand imagineat thesametime.To
emphasizewhattheysaytheypointtheirfingerattheendofa sentenceand
stresstheemphaticconsonants.Shoulda Jordaniansoldierhappenbyhe
wouldbe delighted:intherhythmofthesentenceshe wouldrediscover
therhythmofBedouindances.Withoutthesentences,anIsraelisoldier,
shouldheseethesegoddesses,wouldemptyhisautomaticrifleintotheir
skulls.
* * *
Here in theruinsof Shatilathereis nothingleft.A fewsilentold
womenhastilyhidingbehinda doorwherea whiteclothisnailed.Asfor
theveryyoungfedayeen,I willmeetsomeinDamascus.
You canselecta particularcommunityotherthanthatofyourbirth,
whereasyouarebornintoa people;thisselectionisbasedonanirrational
affinity,whichisnottosaythatjusticehasnorole,butthisjusticeandthe
entiredefenseofthiscommunitytakeplacebecauseofan emotional-
perhapsintuitive,sensual-attraction;I am French,but I defendthe
Palestinianswholeheartedlyand automatically.Theyareintherightbe-
causeI lovethem.ButwouldI lovethemifinjusticehadnotturnedthem
intoa wanderingpeople?
AlmostallthebuildingsinBeiruthavebeenhit,inwhattheystillcall
WestBeirut.Theycrumbleindifferentways:likepuffpastrysqueezed
betweenthefingersofsomeindifferentand voraciousgiantKingKong;
othertimesthetopthreeorfourfloorsleandeliciouslyinanelegantpleat,
givinga sortofLebanesedrapingtothebuilding.Ifonefacadeisintact,go
aroundthehouse;theotherwallswillbeshell-pocked.Ifthefourwallsare
standingwithno cracks,thebomb droppedby theairplanefellin the
centerandmadea holeoutofwhatwasthestaircaseandtheelevatorshaft.
InWestBeirut,aftertheIsraelisarrived,S. toldme:"Nighthadfallen;
itmusthavebeenseveno'clock. All ofa suddentherewasa loudclank,
clank,clank.Everybody,mysister,mybrother-in-lawandIranoutonthe
balcony.The nightwasverydark.Andeveryonce ina whiletherewas
somethinglikelightninglessthana hundredyardsaway.You knowthat
almostacrossfromusthereisa kindofIsraelicommandpost:fourtanks,a
houseoccupiedbysoldiers,officersandguards.Night.Andtheclanking

13. 14 JOURNAL OF PALESTINE STUDIES
noiseisgettingcloser.The lightning;a fewlittorches.Andfortyorfifty
kids about twelveor thirteenyearsold beatingrhythmicallyon little
jerrycans,eitherwithrocksor hammersor somethingelse. Theywere
screaming,chanting:La ilahillaAllah,la Kataebwalayahoud(Thereisno
God butAllah;no to theKataeb;no totheJews.)"
H. said to me: "When youcame to Beirutand Damascusin 1928
Damascuswasdestroyed.GeneralGouraudandhistroops,Moroccanand
Tunisianinfantry,hadbeenshootingandcleanedoutDamascus.Whom
didtheSyrianpeopleaccuse?"
Me:"TheSyriansblamedFranceforthemassacresandthedestruction
inDamascus."
He: "We blameIsraelforthemassacresinShatilaand Sabra. Don't
onlyblametheKataebwhoreplacedthem.Israelisguiltyofallowingtwo
companiesof Kataebto enterthecamps,ofgivingthemordersand of
encouragingthemforthreedaysand nights,ofbringingthemfoodand
drink,oflightingthecampsatnight."
H. again,professorofhistory:"In 1917 Abraham'strickwasbrought
up todate,or ifyouprefer,God wasalreadytheprefigurationofLord
Balfour.The Jewsused to say and stillsay thatGod had promised
Abrahamand hisdescendentsa landofmilkand honey.Butthisland,
whichdidn'tbelongtotheGod oftheJews(thislandwasfullofgods),this
landwasinhabitedbytheCanaanites,whohadtheirowngods,andwho
foughtagainstJoshua'stroopsandendedupstealingthefamousArkofthe
Covenant,withoutwhichtheJewswouldneverhavewon.AndEngland,
in 1917,didn'tyetruleoverPalestine(thatlandofmilkandhoney)since
thetreatygivingita mandatehadnotyetbeensigned."
"Beginclaimsthathecameto thecountry...."
"That'sthenameofa movie:TheLongAbsence.Does thatPolestrike
youas theheirtoSolomon?"
Inthecamps,aftertwentyyearsofexile,therefugeesdreamedoftheir
Palestine,and no one daredto thinkor saythatIsraelhad destroyedit
fromtoptobottom,thatwherethebarleyfieldhadbeentherewasa bank,
anda powerstationwherea climbingvinehadgrown.
"Shallwereplacethegatetothefield?"
"We'll havetorebuildpartofthewallnexttothefigtree."
"All thepansmustbe rusted:buyan emery-cloth."
"Maybeweshouldhookup electricitytothebarn."
"Oh no, no morehand-embroidereddresses:you can getme one
machineforsewingandone forembroidering."

14. SHATILA 15
Theold peopleofthecampswerewretched;theymayalso havebeen
so inPalestinebuttherenostalgiaplayeda magicalrole.Theymayremain
prisonersofthecamp'sunhappyspell.ItisnotcertainthatthisPalestinan
groupwillleavethecampswithregret.Inthissense,extremedestitution
makesyouyearnforthepast.The manwhohasknownthis,alongwith
bitternesshasknowna joy whichis extreme,solitaryand impossibleto
communicate.TheJordaniancampsperchedontherockyslopesarebare,
butaroundthemthereisa moredesolatebarrenness:shanties,tentswith
holes in theminhabitedby familieswhose prideglows.Anyonewho
deniesthatmencanbecomefondandproudoftheirobviousdestitution
understandsnothingofthehumanheart;theycanbe proudbecausethis
obviousdestitutionveilsa hiddenglory.
The solitudeof thedead in Shatilacamp was even morepalpable
becausetheyhadgesturesandposeswhichtheyhadnotplanned.Dead any
old how. Dead and abandoned. Yet around us, in the camp, all the
affection,thetendernessand love floatedin searchofPalestinianswho
wouldneveranswer.
"WhatcanwesaytotheirfamilieswholeftwithArafat,trustinginthe
promisesofReagan,MitterrandandPerini,whohadassuredthemthatthe
civilianpopulationofthecampswouldbe safe?How canweexplainthat
weallowedchildren,oldpeopleandwomentobe massacred,andthatwe
areabandoningtheirbodieswithoutprayers?How canwetellthemthat
wedon'tknowwheretheyareburied?"
Themassacresdidnottakeplaceinsilenceanddarkness.LitbyIsraeli
flares,theIsraeliswerelisteningto Shatilaas earlyas Thursdayevening.
Whatpartying,whatfeastingwentonthereasdeathseemedtotakepartin
thepranksofsoldiersdrunkon wine,on hatred,andprobablydrunkon
thejoyofentertainingtheIsraeliarmywhichwaslistening,looking,giving
encouragement,eggingthemon.Ididn'tseethisIsraeliarmylisteningand
watching.I sawwhatitdid.
To theargument:WhatdidIsraelgainbyassassinatingBashir:entering
Beirut,reestablishingorderandpreventingthebloodbath.
WhatdidIsraelgainintheShatilamassacre?Answer:whatdiditgainby
enteringLebanon?Whatdiditgainbybombingthecivilianpopulationfor
twomonths;byhuntingdownanddestroyingPalestinians?Whatdid it
wanttogaininShatila:thedestructionofPalestinians.
Itkillsmen,itkillscorpses.ItrazesShatila.Itisnotuninterestedinthe
realestatespeculationon theimprovedland:it'sworthfivemillionold
francspersquareyardstillinruins.But"cleanedup" itwillbeworth....?

15. 16 JOURNAL OF PALESTINE STUDIES
I amwritingthisinBeirutwhere,perhapsbecausedeathissoclose,still
lyingontheground,everythingistruerthaninFrance:everythingseemsto
behappeningasif,wearyandtiredofbeinganexample,ofbeinguntouch-
able,oftakingadvantageofwhatit believesit hasbecome-the vengeful
saint of the Inquisition-Israel had decided to allow itselfto be
judgedcoldly.
Thankstoa skillfulbutpredictablemetamorphosis,it isnowwhatit
haslongbeenbecoming:a loathsome,temporalpower,colonialistina way
whichfewdareto imitate,havingbecometheDefinitiveJudgewhichit
owestoitslongstandingcurseas muchas toitschosenstatus.
Manyquestionsremain.
IftheIsraelismerelylitupthecamp,listenedtoit,heardtheshotsfired
byso manyguns,whosespentshellsI kickedunderfoot(tensofthou-
sands),whowasactuallyfiring?Who wasriskingtheirskinbykilling?The
Phalangists?The Haddadists?Who?Andhowmany?
Whathappenedtotheweaponsresponsibleforallthesecorpses?And
whatabouttheweaponsofthosewhodefendedthemselves?Inthepartof
thecampwhichI visited,I sawonlytwounusedanti-tankweapons.
How did theassassinsgetintothecamps?WeretheIsraelisatall the
exitstoShatila?In anycase,on ThursdaytheywerealreadyattheAkka
Hospital,acrossfromonecampentrance.
Accordingtothenewspapers,theIsraelisenteredShatilacampassoon
as theyknewaboutthemassacres,and theystoppedthemimmediately,
thatis,onSaturday.Butwhatdidtheydo withtheslayersandwherehave
theygone?
AftertheassassinationofBashirGemayelandtwentyofhisfriends,
afterthemassacres,Mrs.B.,a memberoftheBeirutupperclass,cameto
seemewhenshefoundoutI wascomingbackfromShatila.Sheclimbed
theeightfloorsofthebuilding-no electricity;I supposesheis elderly,
elegantbutelderly.
"BeforeBashir'sdeath,beforethemassacres,youwererighttotellme
thattheworstwasabouttohappen.I sawit."
"Pleasedon'ttellmewhatyousawinShatila.I amtoohighlystrung,
andI mustkeepmystrengthtofacetheworstwhichisstilltocome."
Shelivesalonewithherhusband(seventyyearsold) andhermaidina
largeapartmentin Ras Beirut.She is veryelegant.Veryrefined.Her
furnitureisantique,Louis XVI, I think.
"We knewthatBashirhadgoneto Israel.He waswrong.Anelected
headofstateshouldnotassociatewithpeople likethat.I wassurethat

16. SHATILA 17
somethingawfulwouldhappentohim.ButIdon'twanttohearaboutit.I
havetosavemystrengthto withstandtheterribleblowsthatareyetto
come.BashirwasgoingtogivebackthatletterinwhichMr.Begincallshim
mydearfriend."
The upperclass,withitssilentservants,hasitsownwayofresisting.
Mrs.B.andherhusband"don'tquitebelieveinmetempsychosis."What
willhappeniftheyarerebornas Israelis?
ThedayofBashir'sburialisalso thedaytheIsraeliarmyentersWest
Beirut.The explosionsgetcloserto thebuildingwherewe are; finally
everyonegoestotheshelterinthebasement.Ambassadors,doctors,their
wivesanddaughters,a UN representativeto Lebanon,theirservants.
"Carlos,bringmea pillow."
"Carlos,myglasses."
"Carlos,a littlewater."
Theservants,too,areacceptedintheshelterastheyalsospeakFrench.
Itmaybenecessarytolookafterthem,theirwounds,theirtransporttothe
hospitalorthecemetery,whata predicament!
You havetoknowthatthePalestiniancampsofShatilaandSabraare
madeupofmilesandmilesofnarrowlittlealleys-forhere,eventhealleys
are so skinny,so thread-likethatsometimestwo people cannotwalk
togetherunlessonewalkssideways-strewnwithrubbish,cementblocks,
bricks,dirtymulti-coloredrags,andthatatnight,underthelightofthe
Israeliflareswhichlitup thecamps,fifteenor twentyevenwell-armed
fighterswouldhavebeenunableto carryout thisslaughter.The killers
workedandtheywerenumerous,andprobablyaccompaniedbytorture
squadswhosplitskulls,slashedthighs,cutoffarms,handsandfingers,
anddraggedthedyingattheendofa rope,menandwomenwhowerestill
alivesincebloodhadflowedfromthebodiesfora longtime,somuchthat
I wasunabletodeterminewho,inthehallofahouse,hadleftthistrickleof
driedblood,fromtheendofthehallwheretherewasa pool as faras the
doorstepwhereit disappearedintothedust.Was it a Palestinianman?A
woman?A Phalangistwhosebodyhadbeenremoved?
FromParis,onecanentertaindoubtsaboutthewholething,especially
ifoneknowsnothingaboutthelayoutofthecamps.One canallowIsrael
to claimthatthejournalistsfromJerusalemwerethefirstto reportthe
massacre.How did theyphraseit fortheArabcountriesandinArabic?
AndhowinEnglishandFrench?Andexactlywhen?Justthinkaboutthe
precautionssurroundinga suspiciousdeathin theWest,fingerprints,
ballisticsreports,autopsies,testimoniesandcounter-testimonies!InBei-

17. 18 JOURNAL OF PALESTINE STUDIES
rut,scarcelyhad themassacrebecomeknownthantheLebanesearmy
officiallytookchargeofthecampsandimmediatelyeradicatedtheruinsof
the houses and the remainsof the bodies. Who orderedthishaste?
Especiallyafterthisstatementhad swepttheworldthatChristiansand
Muslimshadkilledeachother,andevenaftercamerashadrecordedthe
brutalityoftheslayings.
AkkaHospital,occupiedbytheIsraelis,andacrossfromanentrance
toShatila,isnottwohundredyardsfromthecamp,butforty.Theysaw
nothing,heardnothing,understoodnothing?
Becausethat'sjustwhatBegindeclaredto theKnesset:"Goyimkill
go-im,andtheycometo hangtheJews."
I mustconcludemydescriptionof Shatila,whichwasbrieflyinter-
rupted.HerearethebodiesI sawlast,onSunday,abouttwoo'clockinthe
afternoon,whentheInternationalRedCrosscameinwithitsbulldozers.
The stenchofdeathwascomingneitherfroma housenora victim:my
body,mybeing,seemedtoemitit.Ina narrowstreet,intheshadowofa
wall,I thoughtI saw a black boxer sittingon the ground,laughing,
surprisedtohavebeenknockedout.No onehadhadthehearttoclosehis
eyelids,hiseyesaswhiteasporcelainandbulgingout,werelookingatme.
He seemedcrestfallen,withhisarmraised,leaningaginstthisangleofthe
wall. He was a Palestinianwho had been dead two or threedays.If I
mistookhimatfirstfora blackboxeritisbecausehisheadwasenormous,
swollenandblack,likealltheheadsandallthebodies,whetherinthesun
orintheshadowofthehouses.I walkednearhisfeet.I pickedupanupper
dentalplateinthedustandsetiton whatremainedofthewindowledge.
Thepalmofhishandopentowardsthesky,hisopenmouth,theopening
inhispantswherethebeltwasmissing:allhiveswhereflieswerefeeding.
Isteppedoveronecorpse,thenanother.Thereinthedust,inthespace
betweenthetwobodies,therewasatlasta verylivingobject,intactinthe
carnage,a translucentpinkobjectwhichcould stillbe used:an artificial
leg,apparentlyinplastic,and wearinga blackshoeanda graysock.As I
lookedcloser,itbecameclearthatithadbeenbrutallywrenchedoffthe
amputatedleg,becausethestrapsthatusuallyheldittothethighwereall
broken.
Thisartificiallegbelongedtothesecondbody,theoneonwhichIhad
noticedonlyone legwitha footwearinga blackshoeanda graysock.
In thestreetperpendicularto theone whereI leftthethreebodies,
therewasanother.Itwasnotcompletelyblockingtheway,butitwaslying
attheentranceofthestreetso thatI hadtowalkbyitandturnaroundto

18. SHATILA 19
seethesight:seatedona chair,surroundedbyfairlyyoungandsilentmen
andwomen,a woman-in Arabdress-was sobbing;shecouldhavebeen
sixteenor sixty.She was cryingoverherbrotherwhosebody almost
blockedtheway.I cameclosertoher.I lookedmorecarefully.Shehada
scarftiedaroundherneck.She was crying,mourningthedeathofher
brothernexttoher.Herfacewaspink,a babypink,thesamecolorallover,
verysoft,tender,butwithouteyelashesoreyebrows,andwhatI thought
waspinkwasnotthetoplayerofskinbutan underlayeredgedingray
skin.Herwholefacewasburned.I don'tknowbywhat,butI understood
bywhom.
Withthefirstbodies,I triedtocountthem.WhenI gottotwelveor
fifteen,surroundedbythesmell,thesun,stumblingovereachruin,itwas
impossible;everythingbecameconfused.
I haveseenlotsofcrumblingbuildingsandguttedhousesspillingout
eiderdownandhavenotbeenmoved,butwhenI lookedatthoseinWest
Beirutand ShatilaI saw fear.The dead generallybecomeveryfamiliar,
evenfriendlytome,butwhenIsawthoseinthecampsIperceivedonlythe
hatredandjoyofthosewhohadkilledthem.A barbaricpartyhadtaken
placethere:rage,drunkenness,dances,songs,curses,laments,moans,in
honorofthevoyeurswhowerelaughingonthetopfloorofAkkaHospital.
InFrance,beforetheAlgerianwar,theArabsweren'tbeautiful,their
gaitwasawkward,shuffling,theyhad uglymugs,and almostsuddenly
victorymadethembeautiful;buta littlebeforevictorywasassured,while
morethanhalfa millionFrenchsoldierswerestraininganddyinginthe
AuresandthroughoutAlgeria,a curiousthinghappenedtothefacesand
bodiesoftheArabworkers:somethingliketheintimation,thehintofa
stillfragilebeautywhichwasgoingtoblinduswhenthescalesfinallyfell
fromtheirskinand our eyes.We had to admitit: theyhad achieved
politicalfreedominordertobe seenas theywere:verybeautiful.In the
same way,once theyhad escaped fromthe refugeecamps,fromthe
moralityandtheorderofthecamps,froma moralityimposedbytheneed
to survive,once theyhad at thesame timeescaped fromshame,the
fedayeenwereverybeautiful;andsincethisbeautywasnew,shallwesay
pristine,naive,it was fresh,so alive thatit discoveredat once what
connected it to all the beauties of the world, freeingthemselves
fromshame.
Lots of AlgerianpimpswalkingthroughPigalleat nightused their
charmsintheserviceoftheAlgerianrevolution.Virtuewasalsothere.Itis
HannahArendt,I believe,whodistinguishesbetweenrevolutionsaccord-

19. 20 JOURNAL OF PALESTINE STUDIES
ingto whethertheyaspireto freedomor virtue-and thereforework.
Perhapswe shouldalso recognizethatrevolutionsor liberationsaim-
obscurely-atdiscoveringorrediscoveringbeauty,thatistheintangible,
unnamableexceptbythisword.Butno,ontheotherhand:letusmeanby
beautya laughinginsolencegoadedbypastunhappiness,systemsandmen
responsibleforunhappinessand shame,above all a laughinginsolence
whichrealizesthat,freedofshame,growthiseasy.
Buton thispagewe shouldalso addressthefollowingquestion:is a
revolutiona revolutionwhenithasnotremovedfromfacesandbodiesthe
deadskinthatmadethemugly?I amnotspeakingaboutacademicbeauty,
butabouttheintangible-unnamable-joyofbodies,faces,cries,words
whicharenolongercheerless,I meana sensualjoyso strongthatitchases
awayalleroticism.
* * *
HereI amagainin Ajloun,inJordan,theninIrbid.I removewhatI
believeisoneofmywhitehairsfrommysweaterandputit onthekneeof
Hamza,sittingnearme.He takesitbetweenhisthumbandmiddlefinger,
looks at it,smiles,putsitin thepocketofhisblackjacket,and patsit
saying:
"A hairfromtheProphet'sbeatdisworthlessthanthat."
He takesa slightlydeeperbreathandstartsover:
"A hairfromtheProphet'sbeardis notworthmorethanthat."
He was onlytwenty-twoyearsold, his thoughtsleapedeasilyhigh
above thePalestinianswho wereforty,but he was alreadybearingthe
signs-on himself,on hisbody,inhisactions-whichlinkedhimto the
olderones.
Intheold daysfarmersusedtoblowtheirnosesintheirfingers.Then
theyflippedthesnotintothethorns.Theywipedtheirnoseson their
corduroysleeves,whichattheendofa monthwerecoveredwitha pearly
luster.So didthefedayeen.Theyblewtheirnosesthesamewaynoblemen
and churchmentooksnuff:slightlystoopedover.I did thesamething,
whichtheytaughtmewithoutrealizing.
Andthewomen?Nightand daytheyembroideredthesevendresses
(one foreach dayoftheweek)oftheengagementtrousseaugivenbya
generallyolderhusbandchosenby thefamily,painfulawakening.The
Palestiniangirlsbecameverybeautifulwhentheyrevoltedagainsttheir
fathersand broketheirneedlesand embroideryscissors.It was on the
mountainsofAjloun,SaltandIrbid,intheforeststhemselvesthatsensual-

20. SHATILA 21
ityhadcomedown,freedbytherevolutionandbyguns,let'snotforget
theguns.Thatwasenough,everyonewashappy.Withoutrealizingit, the
fedayeen-isittrue?-wereperfectinga newbeauty:thelivelinessoftheir
actionsandtheirobviousfatigue,thequicknessandbrightnessoftheireyes,
theclearertoneofvoiceharmonizedwiththeswiftnessandbrevityofthe
reply.Withitsprecisiontoo. Theyhaddoneawaywithlongsentences,
learnedandglibrhetoric.
ManydiedinShatila,andmyfriendship,myaffectionfortheirrotting
corpseswas also immense,because I had known them.Blackened,
swollen,decayedbythesunandbydeath,theywerestillfedayeen.
Aroundtwoo'clock intheafternoonon Sundaythreesoldiersfrom
theLebanesearmydroveme,atgunpoint,toa jeepwherean officerwas
dozing.I askedhim:
"Do youspeakFrench?"
"English."
The voicewasdry,maybebecauseI hadawakeneditwitha start.He
lookedatmypassport,andsaidto me,inFrench:
"Have youjustbeenthere?"He pointedto Shatila.
"Yes."
"Anddidyousee?"
"Yes."
"Areyougoingto writeaboutit?"
"Yes."
Hegavemebackmypassport.He signaledmetoleave.Thethreerifles
werelowered.I had spentfourhoursin Shatila.About fortybodies
remainedi6 mymemory.Allofthem-andI meanall-had beentortured,
probablyagainsta backdropofdrunkenness,song,laughter,thesmellof
gunpowderandalreadyofdecayingflesh.
I was probablyalone, I mean the onlyEuropean(witha fewold
Palestinianwomenstillclingingto a tornwhitecloth;witha fewyoung
unarmedfedayeen),butifthesefiveor sixhumanbeingshad notbeen
thereandIhaddiscoveredthisbutcheredcity,blackandswollenPalestin-
ians lyingthere,I would havegonecrazy.Or did I? Thatcitylyingin
smithereenswhichI sawor thoughtI saw,whichI walkedthrough,felt,
andwhosedeathstenchI wore,hadall thattakenplace?I had explored,
andpoorlyatthat,onlya twentiethofShatilaandSabra,nothingofBir
Hassan,nothingofBourjal-Barajneh.

21. 22 JOURNALOF PALESTINE STUDIES
It's not because of myleaningsthatI livedthroughtheJordanian
periodas ifitwerea fairytale.EuropeansandNorthAfricanArabshave
toldmeaboutthespellthatkeptthemthere.As I livedthroughthislong
spanofsixmonths,barelycoloredbynightfortwelveorthirteenhours,I
discoveredtheetherealityofwhatwashappening,theexceptionalquality
ofthefedayeen,butI hada premonitionofthefragilityofthestructure.
EverywhereinJordanwherethePalestinianarmyhadassembled,nearthe
JordanRiver,therewerecheckpointswherethefedayeenwereso sureof
theirrightsandtheirmightthatthearrivalofa visitor,bynightorbyday,
atoneofthecheckpointswasa pretextfortea,fortalkmixedwithbursts
oflaughterandbrotherlykisses(theonetheyembracedwouldbe leaving
thatnight,crosstheJordanRiverto plantbombsinPalestineandoften
wouldnotreturn).TheonlyislandsofsilenceweretheJordanianvillages;
theykepttheirmouthsshut.All thefedayeenseemedto be walking
slightlyabovetheground,liketheeffectofa verylightglassofwineora
dragona littlehashish.Whatwasit?Youth,obliviousofdeathandwith
CzechandChineseweaponstofireintotheair.Protectedbyweaponsthat
talkedso big,thefedayeenweren'tafraidofanything.
Anyreaderwhohasseena mapofPalestineandJordanknowsthatthe
landisnotlikea sheetofpaper.AlongtheJordanRiverthelandisinhigh
relief.This wholeescapade should have been subtitledA Midsummer
Night'sDreaminspiteoftheflare-upsbetweentheforty-year-oldleaders.
Allthatwaspossiblebecauseofyouth,thejoyofbeingunderthetrees,of
playingwithweapons,ofbeingawayfromwomen,in otherwords,of
conjuringawaya difficultproblem,ofbeingthebrightestand themost
forwardpointoftherevolution,ofhavingtheapprovalofthepopulation
ofthecamps,orbeingphotogenicnomatterwhat,andperhapsofforesee-
ingthatthisrevolutionaryfairytalemightsoonbe defiled:thefedayeen
didn'twantpower;theyhadfreedom.
At theDamascusairporton mywayback fromBeirutI metsome
youngfedayeenwhohadescapedfromtheIsraelihell.Theyweresixteen
orseventeen.Theywerelaughing;theywereliketheonesinAjloun.They
willdielikethem.Thestrugglefora countrycanfilla veryrichlife,buta
shortone.Thatwasthechoice,as werecall,ofAchillesintheIliad.
TranslatedbyDanielR. Dup&her
andMarthaPerrigaud