Insights 2015 - Family Business
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This document discusses how to build resiliency in families and family businesses. It notes that family conflicts often result in blaming others like the business for problems. However, taking a broader systems perspective reveals that many factors contribute to issues. Building resiliency involves developing trust, appreciation, effective communication, shared values and the ability to cope with crises. The goal is to foster a sense of togetherness while allowing individuals to develop themselves.
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Insights 2015 - Family Business
- 1. From Blame to Resiliency: What Makes Families In Business Stronger And Their Business More Sustainable Gaia Marchisio, Ph.D.
- 3. #WBInsights15 70 Years of Combined Experience Family business Conflict management Family Psychology
- 4. #WBInsights15 When Working With Families…
- 7. #WBInsights15 I did not see this coming She blames me for not understanding her and not caring. I can’t believe it!! After all I have done for her, her family and her business. Maybe she is right... If we didn’t have the business… we wouldn’t be in this situation today. It is the business’ fault! What do you think? Would you agree? The Most Recurrent Sentences Dan Shared Source:©Marchisio,Blum,2014
- 8. #WBInsights15 Is the Business to Be Blamed? Source:©Marchisio,Blum,2014
- 9. #WBInsights15 What Does the Genogram Reveal to Us About This Family? Source:©Marchisio,Blum,2014
- 10. #WBInsights15 Whom Else Should Be Blamed? Source:©Marchisio,Blum,2014
- 11. #WBInsights15 The Power of the Past From Blame to Resilience The Dimensions of Resilient Family Food For Thought: A Few Key Ideas Source:©Marchisio,Blum,2014
- 12. #WBInsights15 What We Inherit from the Family The Power of the Past
- 13. #WBInsights15 Past As Prologue to the Future Source:©Blum,2014 The Power of the Past
- 14. #WBInsights15 Never Underestimate the Need of “Finishing” Unfinished Business Source:©Blum,2014 The Power of the Past
- 15. #WBInsights15 Be Intentional in What to Keep And Pass to The Next Generation and What to Stop The Power of the Past
- 16. #WBInsights15 Looking for the Scapegoat Problem Family member From Blaming to Resiliency (Who is right – who is wrong)
- 17. #WBInsights15 Seeing the System and Recognizing Dynamics Problem Multiple components, and behaviors contribute to it From Blaming to Resiliency (Seeking for understanding and compassion)
- 18. #WBInsights15 It Takes Two To Tango… …but one to change a relationship By changing the way to interact From Blaming to Resiliency
- 19. #WBInsights15 Resiliency Is Not Always The Starting Point 1. Commitment (trust) 2. Appreciation and affection 3. Effective and positive communication patterns 4. Desire to spend time together 5. Ability to deal with crisis and stress in a positive way 6. Spiritual well-being (compassion and shared ethical values) Source:AdaptedfromDeFrain,2007 Resilient families
- 20. #WBInsights15 Ultimate Goal: to Create BOTH a sense of togetherness and belonging AND individual family members develop their own personality, self-esteem, and potential
Editor's Notes
- Issues of intimacy and communication
- Pot roast story Patterns play out through hx of gens and through oiur own hstory observe them…. Family History + Loyalty + Resistance to change (homeostasis) This is vital in our lives but like gravity, we don’t pay attention to it and think much about it (except “ my family is ________” A one liner…. Patterns of relationships repeat, how family expresses emotion, deals with conflict – those patterns repeat. We Inherit strengths and weaknesses….beliefs and biases… . We react to people and situations based on what we’ve learned in our family of origin, not based on what the “new” person or situation presents. Even more likely when we’re under high stress. “When the fate of the Republic is at stake” ….. THINK ABOUT: Have you been baffled by a “familiar” relationship, feeling, experience? A pattern, “I always end up the one who__________” Heightened reaction – Knee jerk” Automatic: Accomodating, adaptive, compliant, argumentative, defensive AS LEADERS WE WANT TO BE A CALMING PRESENCE AND DELIBERATE IN OUR RESPONSES When Unfinished business – unmet dreams………..failures…………unexpected losses and “filling in “ for the lost person……. An individual may take on an ‘issue” – because of time, juxtaposition…………look alike……”the one who could do it” For better or worse CASE: Student letter from CPL CASE: Individual I consulted with ……younger sister with 2 older brothers…..could manage up ….but not “manage down”…..it never occurred to her that it was related to her experience in her family birth order…….Also in ethnic family, women were not endowed with power, so managing others was not a skill set developed in her family, by her family for women. Upside of all of this – can provoke striving for success ( as long as you really love it too)…..Jennifer If you don’t know where you’ve been, you can’t decide where you’re going. Destined to repeat the past Now, I’m not saying we’re all monkeys…..! Why is this so?? Family history + loyalty + homeostasis
- Cioe it takes two build intimacy or to create a screwed up relationship