The document discusses dealing with transitions and changes in identity. It describes how the author struggled after having to stop her career as a ballet dancer, as that role had come to define her identity. However, a friend pointed out that she was a person, not just a dancer, and that her qualities would allow her to find new ways to express herself. The author realized she enjoyed performing, costumes, movement, and sharing her experiences. This led her to a new career as a professional speaker, allowing her to continue expressing those qualities through motivational speeches. The document advocates taking stock of one's strengths during transitions and finding new roles that allow those talents to be explored.
Can an introvert have an exciting life and surviveLynette Crane
Performers are, surprisingly often, introverts, because performing provides a perfect platform for an introvert. A performance usually involves a structured situation with behavior that is well-rehearsed; furthermore, we can usually perform without those interruptions that force us to freeze or think too quickly, that we encounter in social situations. Many of us even learned that we could pour out our feelings and enthusiasm with a feeling of safety we never found daily life.
Social Confidence and “Extrovert Skills”Lynette Crane
“I used my extrovert skills.” “I had to learn some extrovert skills.” “Oh, well, I don’t have extrovert skills.” I hear these phrases all the time – and they drive me crazy.
In the course of our life, we have to agree that there is no beauty without struggle. No one likes to hear the story of someone who got everything easily. People want to listen to the stories of men and women who, while born in the valley of struggle, endured pain and turned their battles into a gift.
Can an introvert have an exciting life and surviveLynette Crane
Performers are, surprisingly often, introverts, because performing provides a perfect platform for an introvert. A performance usually involves a structured situation with behavior that is well-rehearsed; furthermore, we can usually perform without those interruptions that force us to freeze or think too quickly, that we encounter in social situations. Many of us even learned that we could pour out our feelings and enthusiasm with a feeling of safety we never found daily life.
Social Confidence and “Extrovert Skills”Lynette Crane
“I used my extrovert skills.” “I had to learn some extrovert skills.” “Oh, well, I don’t have extrovert skills.” I hear these phrases all the time – and they drive me crazy.
In the course of our life, we have to agree that there is no beauty without struggle. No one likes to hear the story of someone who got everything easily. People want to listen to the stories of men and women who, while born in the valley of struggle, endured pain and turned their battles into a gift.
The topic of introversion has now entered the mainstream. How can I tell? This topic, which I have championed for so many years (full disclosure: I am an introvert), has now appeared in one of my favorite comic strips, and I honestly don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I hear it over and over again: “I can’t network. I’m an introvert.” “I don’t know what to say.” “I don’t want to brag.” A lot of people don’t like networking, but the bulk of them seem to be introverts.
Everyone tells you that you must have a clear vision of where you want to go and who you want to be. Not everyone tells you exactly how – and how not – to get to that vision.
Time and energy bandits are habits and thought processes that can suck you dry, leaving you exhausted and harried. One of these bandits, which particularly rears its head at the holiday season, is perfectionism.
A friend and I took a lovely paddleboat ride on the Mississippi River one day, past old crumbling brick walls backed by sparkling new skyscrapers, learning a lot of history that we had never heard. The good time almost didn’t happen, due to a careless mistake on my part. That mistake did trigger some thoughts about small stresses in life, which in turn triggered this article.
The Yin, Yang and Dopamine in RelationshipsLynette Crane
Some people like to linger until the very end of a party; others like to leave early.
Unfortunately, they frequently marry each other.
They may very well have met and been attracted to each other because of these opposite qualities: one represents tranquility, stability, and caution, the other one represents excitement, change, and risk-taking.
January is the time of fresh starts, fresh ideas, and an urge to create a new, better life.Often, we start out with high hopes, only to sink by February 1 as if the balloon carrying our hopes had been punctured.
Hans Selye, known as the “Father of Stress,” coined the term “eustress” in 1926. It means, literally, “good stress.” Is there such a thing? You bet there is.
Is tech stress driving you screaming madLynette Crane
It’s official (in case you hadn’t already noticed): technology is raising our stress level precipitously.
In fact, Mike Kushner, co-owner of a computer solutions company in Palo Alto, California, has paramedics ready to respond to calls from what he calls the “digitally desperate.”
Have you ever been caught in a race that never ends: one in which the big prize at the end is as far out of reach as it is when you started, and the small rewards along the way that might sustain you have gotten to be scarcer and scarcer? Perhaps the big prize no longer seems enticing, or even appropriate, but you’ve been so busy you haven’t even noticed its allure fading.
What is life was a multiple choice test?Lynette Crane
If life was a multiple choice test, would you always pick the same answer? “Let’s see, it’s choice B. Guess I’ll go with that all the way.”
At least in a real multiple choice test, you can see all choices – usually four – laid out and you may even ponder them before you mark your choice.
In my last article, “Watch who you share your pain with,” I described several kinds of people who only make your pain worse by saying the wrong things. I call them, collectively, Dementors, familiar to Harry Potter fans as creatures who suck all hope out of you. They may magnify your tiny symptom into sure death, or seemingly provide incontrovertible evidence that your dreams can never succeed.
Are you carrying some introvert baggage?Lynette Crane
The basic definition of an introvert is of someone who is very sensitive to external stimulation and needs to withdraw periodically because our energy is depleted by too much stimulation, whereas an extrovert is someone who goes out and seeks stimulation, often social stimulation, in order to be energized.
Can you go back and change the past, or are you stuck with what you remember? That’s the key: what you remember. The fact is, our brains are stuffed with memories, only some of which we retrieve, convincing ourselves we have a true and complete picture of the past when in fact we have a partial, often negative, picture of our history.
I meet people all the time who don’t really understand virtual learning, and are therefore wary of signing up for anything that is presented in this way.
Do you feel as if you have invisible gnats buzzing around inside and outside of your head? Are you so overwhelmed by possibilities that you start to work on one task, then set it down and switch your attention to another, and then another?
Your work or life may require speaking in public. Some people think of public speaking as delivering a talk to a large audience; others think that two or more people constitute a large enough audience to be intimidating.
https://bit.ly/BabeSideDoll4u Babeside is a company that specializes in creating handcrafted reborn dolls. These dolls are designed to be incredibly lifelike, with realistic skin tones and hair, and they have become increasingly popular among collectors and those who use them for therapeutic purposes. At Babeside, we believe that our reborn dolls can provide comfort and healing to anyone who needs it.
The Healing Power of Babeside's Handcrafted Creations
Our reborn dolls are more than just beautiful pieces of art - they can also help alleviate stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions. Studies have shown that holding or cuddling a soft object like a stuffed animal or a reborn doll can release oxytocin, which is often referred to as the "love hormone." This hormone helps us feel calm and relaxed, reducing feelings of stress and anxiety.
In addition to their physical benefits, reborn dolls can also offer emotional support. For many people, having something to care for and nurture can bring a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Reborn dolls can also serve as a reminder of happy memories or loved ones who have passed away.
The topic of introversion has now entered the mainstream. How can I tell? This topic, which I have championed for so many years (full disclosure: I am an introvert), has now appeared in one of my favorite comic strips, and I honestly don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I hear it over and over again: “I can’t network. I’m an introvert.” “I don’t know what to say.” “I don’t want to brag.” A lot of people don’t like networking, but the bulk of them seem to be introverts.
Everyone tells you that you must have a clear vision of where you want to go and who you want to be. Not everyone tells you exactly how – and how not – to get to that vision.
Time and energy bandits are habits and thought processes that can suck you dry, leaving you exhausted and harried. One of these bandits, which particularly rears its head at the holiday season, is perfectionism.
A friend and I took a lovely paddleboat ride on the Mississippi River one day, past old crumbling brick walls backed by sparkling new skyscrapers, learning a lot of history that we had never heard. The good time almost didn’t happen, due to a careless mistake on my part. That mistake did trigger some thoughts about small stresses in life, which in turn triggered this article.
The Yin, Yang and Dopamine in RelationshipsLynette Crane
Some people like to linger until the very end of a party; others like to leave early.
Unfortunately, they frequently marry each other.
They may very well have met and been attracted to each other because of these opposite qualities: one represents tranquility, stability, and caution, the other one represents excitement, change, and risk-taking.
January is the time of fresh starts, fresh ideas, and an urge to create a new, better life.Often, we start out with high hopes, only to sink by February 1 as if the balloon carrying our hopes had been punctured.
Hans Selye, known as the “Father of Stress,” coined the term “eustress” in 1926. It means, literally, “good stress.” Is there such a thing? You bet there is.
Is tech stress driving you screaming madLynette Crane
It’s official (in case you hadn’t already noticed): technology is raising our stress level precipitously.
In fact, Mike Kushner, co-owner of a computer solutions company in Palo Alto, California, has paramedics ready to respond to calls from what he calls the “digitally desperate.”
Have you ever been caught in a race that never ends: one in which the big prize at the end is as far out of reach as it is when you started, and the small rewards along the way that might sustain you have gotten to be scarcer and scarcer? Perhaps the big prize no longer seems enticing, or even appropriate, but you’ve been so busy you haven’t even noticed its allure fading.
What is life was a multiple choice test?Lynette Crane
If life was a multiple choice test, would you always pick the same answer? “Let’s see, it’s choice B. Guess I’ll go with that all the way.”
At least in a real multiple choice test, you can see all choices – usually four – laid out and you may even ponder them before you mark your choice.
In my last article, “Watch who you share your pain with,” I described several kinds of people who only make your pain worse by saying the wrong things. I call them, collectively, Dementors, familiar to Harry Potter fans as creatures who suck all hope out of you. They may magnify your tiny symptom into sure death, or seemingly provide incontrovertible evidence that your dreams can never succeed.
Are you carrying some introvert baggage?Lynette Crane
The basic definition of an introvert is of someone who is very sensitive to external stimulation and needs to withdraw periodically because our energy is depleted by too much stimulation, whereas an extrovert is someone who goes out and seeks stimulation, often social stimulation, in order to be energized.
Can you go back and change the past, or are you stuck with what you remember? That’s the key: what you remember. The fact is, our brains are stuffed with memories, only some of which we retrieve, convincing ourselves we have a true and complete picture of the past when in fact we have a partial, often negative, picture of our history.
I meet people all the time who don’t really understand virtual learning, and are therefore wary of signing up for anything that is presented in this way.
Do you feel as if you have invisible gnats buzzing around inside and outside of your head? Are you so overwhelmed by possibilities that you start to work on one task, then set it down and switch your attention to another, and then another?
Your work or life may require speaking in public. Some people think of public speaking as delivering a talk to a large audience; others think that two or more people constitute a large enough audience to be intimidating.
https://bit.ly/BabeSideDoll4u Babeside is a company that specializes in creating handcrafted reborn dolls. These dolls are designed to be incredibly lifelike, with realistic skin tones and hair, and they have become increasingly popular among collectors and those who use them for therapeutic purposes. At Babeside, we believe that our reborn dolls can provide comfort and healing to anyone who needs it.
The Healing Power of Babeside's Handcrafted Creations
Our reborn dolls are more than just beautiful pieces of art - they can also help alleviate stress, anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions. Studies have shown that holding or cuddling a soft object like a stuffed animal or a reborn doll can release oxytocin, which is often referred to as the "love hormone." This hormone helps us feel calm and relaxed, reducing feelings of stress and anxiety.
In addition to their physical benefits, reborn dolls can also offer emotional support. For many people, having something to care for and nurture can bring a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Reborn dolls can also serve as a reminder of happy memories or loved ones who have passed away.
Welcome to the Program Your Destiny course. In this course, we will be learning the technology of personal transformation, neuroassociative conditioning (NAC) as pioneered by Tony Robbins. NAC is used to deprogram negative neuroassociations that are causing approach avoidance and instead reprogram yourself with positive neuroassociations that lead to being approach automatic. In doing so, you change your destiny, moving towards unlocking the hypersocial self within, the true self free from fear and operating from a place of personal power and love.
Program Your Destiny eBook - Destiny University.pdf
Holding on to your identity during a transition
1. Holding on to your identity during a transition?
Maybe you shouldn’t be.
Transitions – in life or in career – are tough. One of
the hardest parts is the seeming attack on your identity
when you no longer fill a given role, a role you may
have played for years, even decades. People who have
had to change careers for physical or health reasons,
retirees from work to which they have dedicated years
of their lives, mothers whose children have grown up
and fled the nest, all struggle with this identity crisis.
I know it well: I was a very dedicated ballet dancer when I was young. I lived and breathed
ballet: my companions, my choices in food, clothing, entertainment, the décor in my bedroom, all
pivoted around my focus on dance.
Then I had to stop. Ballet isn’t something you do forever. But when I did, I had this vast, empty
cavern inside of me that I couldn’t seem to fill. If I wasn’t a dancer, how would other people know
who I was, relate to me in a way that I felt comfortable? What did I have to be proud of? What
would I talk about, and to whom? Would I become invisible? I felt invisible.
The problem was this: I had identified myself as a “dancer.” So if I wasn’t being a dancer,
who was I?
As a wise friend remarked, “No, you’re a person who dances. And when you are no longer dancing,
you will still be a person.”
In other words, if the identity you have constructed hinges on a specific label, you will be in
trouble during a transition. If, on the other hand, you have identified the qualities that made you
so good at what you did in that role, then you can search for other ways in which to express those
qualities.
My problem was that I was a performer: I loved it, even craved it. And yet, as a shy introvert, I
couldn’t get that thrill on a day-to-day basis: spontaneous social contacts left me receding into panic.
I needed that stage.
I also loved to wear costumes and the special way they made me feel. Finally, my body needed to
feel the freedom of movement.
Most of all, I love to share all the things I have experienced, and from which I have
learned, with others.
So this is the story of how I became a professional speaker: someone who, dressed a little more
elegantly than the audience, sways people emotionally and provides them with information and the
positive energy they are seeking. Making broad, sweeping gestures and using body language
appropriate to the content of the speech is a necessity to inform, motivate, and yes, entertain people.
And guess what, I can do this the rest of my life! Aging joints and muscles and less-than-
vigorous energy levels won’t deter me.
2. I didn’t make the change overnight, though.
So, if you are in transition, take stock of what you do well, those great qualities you may not
even recognize in yourself: headily directing a team of people to reach higher goals, nurturing
individuals to help them become their best, providing the optimistic outlook that troubled people
seek, being the “bridge over troubled water” that we desperately need in this world … and more.
One of my clients was very concerned about a new job she had, as manager of a restaurant. How
could she cope? What did she know anyway about managing people? I had observed her with her
grandchildren, where she was both warm and decisive in her manner, leaving them no doubt as to
what she wanted from them – and didn’t want. She was perfect for the job; she just didn’t realize it
yet.
Whatever you find out about yourself, recognize that, in one way or another, you may be able
to do this for the rest of your life. If not, once you have transitioned successfully, you will have
developed the skill to look for a new role that will explore your talents and refresh your spirit, and
to recognize it when the opportunities appear. And they will.
Lynette Crane is a Minneapolis-based speaker, writer, and coach. She has more than 30 years'
experience in the field of stress and time management and personal growth. Her latest book is The
Confident Introvert, written to help introverts overcome the stress of living in a culture that
idealizes extroversion, so that they can thrive, and not just survive.Visit her website at
http://www.creativelifechanges.com/ to see more in-depth articles and to view her programs.