This Facebook status contains a collection of short humorous sayings and observations on various topics like relationships, school, work, technology and everyday life. Some of the quotes poke fun at common mistakes, laziness, forgetfulness and unrealistic expectations. Overall the status aims to elicit laughter through witty and lighthearted commentary on the foibles of human nature.

1. Facebook Status :Funny
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong
turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions :)
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice
:)
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove
the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without
looking :)
I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them :)
All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of
chips.
Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.
Excuse me …. Plesase, empty your pockets …. I think you
stole my heart.

2. Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is
the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never
help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on
their Wi-Fi :)
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat
:)
Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be
destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to
another with some loss of money.
Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from
an ugly picture :)
The first five days after the weekend are always the
toughest.
I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s
the sperm that won :)
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their
age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.

3. How do people write an auto biography? I can barley
remember what I had for lunch yesterday :)
Nothing is illegal until you get caught :)
Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and
mentally give your opinion.
Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework
for me. :)
Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they
know boys are stupid, not blind.
The definition of a beautiful girl is one who loves me :)
I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when
I am drinking something :)
Only fools fall in love and I guess I’m one of them :)
God made everything that has life, rest everything is
made in China :)
Friday is my second favorite F word.

4. For all the girls that say ….. All guys are the same …… Who
told you to try them ALL.
Every girl deserves ONE GUY who looks at her every day
like it’s the first time he saw her. And In that ONE GUY :)
I think I got a fever, a fever of you :)
I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday,
26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday :)
Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends
fat.
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen,
remember thats where the knives are kept. :)
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my
face hits the mirror.
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how
could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than
to repeat.

5. Most emotional moment in a boys life, When a girl says,
Can you give me your number :D
Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u
please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you
start guessing &suggesting.
Definition of human being: a creature that cuts trees,
makes paper & write “SAVE TREES” on the same paper.
Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and whoever the hell
invented copy and paste. Thank you Guys.
I don’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today
love comes to those who flirt. LOLz
Dear Food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me
fat :)
It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they
also do the same thing.
I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my
advice :)

6. The question I have not been able to answer is “What…
does a woman want?”
Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the
picture.
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was
meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming
back.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every
day.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my
Porsche.
You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on
DVD.
Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your
choice from the menu, And then look at neighbouring table n
wish you’d ordered that.

7. Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and
never return.
My name is I. My problem is love. My solution is you.
If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your
mirror :D
The only difference between me and a madman is that I’m
not mad.
Caution, Blind Man Driving.
Milk does the body good but DAMN how much did you
drink?
If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my
education.
Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch
their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.