The document is an excerpt from a memoir titled "From Bank Robber to Butterfly" by T.S. Freeman. It describes the author, referred to as Lyric, getting arrested for passing phony checks at a bank. Lyric is interrogated by a detective but refuses to confess or implicate her accomplices. All three women are taken to jail. Lyric realizes she may be pregnant but tries not to worry. At her court hearing, Lyric is given a $10,000 bond that she cannot pay, leaving her stuck in jail as her past illegal activities and troubled childhood memories haunt her.

1. To

2. From Bank Robber
To Butterfly
T.S. Freeman

3. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the New King James
Version, Holy Bible, Woman Thou Art Loosed Edition, © 1998 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.
From Bank Robber To Butterfly
T. S. Freeman
Phone: 404-941-0006
www.alloninc.com
tsfreeman@alloninc.com
ISBN: 978-0-578-02202-4
Printed in the United States of America
© 2008 by TS Freeman
Allon Media, Inc.
Phone: 404-941-0006
Fax: 717-754-1118
www.alloninc.com
tsfreeman@alloninc.com
Cover Design by: TS Freeman and William V. Holmes, Jr.
Cover Revsions by: MicroArts
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system
or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording or otherwise, without prior written permission from the publisher.

4. ENDORSEMENTS
T.S. Freeman is a writer that expresses reality like none other. In her
book, From Bank Robber To Butterfly, she explicitly shares the reality of
life, her life. In this well written graphically depicted real life story of a
woman who utilized her intellect to hustle in the streets; commandeer
funding through illegal and inappropriate means; flaunt and misinterpret
her beauty to solicit love; finally comes to the realization that the wisdom
and love of God was all that she ultimately needed.
And in the end, she finds that all she sought, bought, illegally
borrowed and stole was to compensate for the treasure hidden within her.
It took being arrested for theft, fraud and a barrage of charges to assist her
in the discovery of her true self. Her story is riveting, powerful, and more
importantly, true. T.S. Freeman shares her life story with humor, wisdom,
intellect and a realism that allows your thought process to visualize every
scenario. If you’ve encountered a life that has been transformed by the
Power of God…this book is for you!
Elder Evangelist Victoria Lockhart
The Christ Club Ministries

5. When I first met Mika twelve years ago, it was like I had known her
forever. We became friends while my mother was the daycare provider for
her beautiful daughters. She is strong, intelligent and wise beyond
her years.
Through her talent to hustle, she has taught me so much
about running a business and striving for nothing less than the best. Even
in the worst times of her life, she has always been there to give me great
advice, spiritual guidance, a shoulder to cry on and a helping hand when
needed. She’s not just my best friend; she’s like the sister I never had. I
love her so much and cherish our friendship. I can honestly say that she
and I have never had a fight or argument during our friendship and that is
significant in any friendship.
So when I tell you that Mika is a great mother, business woman,
friend and most importantly a God-fearing woman, you can believe it! I
know that God is just waiting to bless her with all of the desires of her heart
because she has worked so hard to achieve spiritual success and she
deserves nothing less than her heart’s desires.
Keisha T. Taylor
Taylormade Productions

6. TABLE OF CONTENTS
I The Beginning Of The Beginning
II The Messenger
III The Miracle
IV Released But Not Free
V The Blame Game
VI As I Am
VII Set Free Indeed
VIII What The Hell Do I Do now?
IX Looking Back To Move Forward
X Confident But Humble
XI Lyric’s Prayer

7. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
With all my heart I must give a special thanks to the individuals who
played a role in the idea, the start and the completion of this book. First, I
thank God for giving me the ability to put pen to paper and share events in
my existence that may encourage or even change someone’s life. God
accepts me as I am and that will literally be what carries me through the
rest of my life. Because for most of my life I have been very reserved about
sharing certain parts of my experiences, it has taken much time to finish
this book but God sent the right people at the right time to give me the
encouragement I needed to complete it.
I sincerely thank my God-mother, Victoria Lockhart, for simply
believing in me without judgment and teaching me what it means to be
Kingdom. God has worked through you to strengthen me to hold to my
faith and not settle for anything less than His plan for my life.
Debora J. Bailey – I give you special thanks for teaching me what it
means to be a strong independent woman. I truly appreciate your support,
especially financially, in my life.

8. Jill Devone Ebbs – I love you dearly and I thank you for who you have
been in my life. Tragedy brought us together but destiny has kept us as
family. I appreciate the late night talks, I adore the way you’ve never
stopped encouraging me to seek what God has for me, I will never forget
the way you didn’t complain about my complaining and I thank you for
always treating me as if I am your daughter.
India Freeman-Fannin – Although you are my baby sister, you have
the wisdom of a woman twice my age. God has worked through you to show
me forgiveness and give me understanding about my relationship with our
earthly father. I pray many blessings over you and Jamal as you two
venture into a lifetime of Godly marriage and I thank you for blessing our
family with London (1) and Jaden (3).
Dishana Cambridge – After 19 years of friendship you are still my
best friend. You have been an inspiration on every level. We have watched
each other grow up and have walked through many dark valleys and
climbed many high mountains and we are still standing, still growing;
together.
Keisha L. Taylor – There are plenty of compliments I can give you
but the most important one will always be that you are just a true friend. No

9. matter what I have gone through in my life you have always been the same
loving and understanding kind of friend. I pray continuous blessings over
you and your business and I pray God will literally grant you every good
desire your heart has held in secret.
Beautiful – You are truly a major component of the completion of this
book. Your curiosity about its contents prompted me to finish it. It has been
an honor and an indescribable pleasure to be your spiritual cheerleader.
May the God I love bless you always and may your heart’s desires manifest
in unimaginable ways.
Ok, I think I’m done. I’ll put everybody else in my next book…
P.S. – If you are wondering who Beautiful is, you’ll have to read my book,
Beautiful: A Documentary of Intercession, to find out who he is and why
he’s important.

10. DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to my beautiful children, Kori (16), Kali (15),
Kaisha (12), and Kaden (3). Mere words are simply not enough to express
my love and admiration for each of you. You are the greatest blessing God
has given me. The Bible says: “Children are a heritage from the Lord” and
this is clearly evident in each of my children.

11. Introduction
Dear Reader,
Before you submerge yourself into the pages of this book, I wish to
warn you of its contents. Because I am in no way ashamed of any of my
experiences which aided in my redemption process, I have poured out
events in my life that are not sugar-coated for Christianity’s sake. This book
is based on actual events.
You will find that some or even most of the language in this book does
not exactly fit into Christian writing. However, I thought it was important
to give the events as they happened in order for you to understand where I
was in attitude (which was far from Christ-like), in thought process (which
was and still is very analytical) and in my transformation into the Kingdom
Woman God has molded me into. It is extremely difficult for me to share
any part of my life because although many people proclaim to be Christians,
they are so quick to judge others by the sword.
But, since none of the individuals who will read this book will decide
whether I go to Heaven or hell when I die, I simply say to your negative
judgment, that is, if you have any, “I don’t give a damn.” - T S Freeman

12. 1.
The beginning of the beginning
As the FBI agent strolled toward Lyric as she exited the drugstore, all that
went through her mind was “Just be cool and it’ll be all good.” Well, it was
all good, for about 20 minutes. As the ice-cold handcuffs were placed
around her tiny wrists, her Billy-bad-ass attitude quickly diminished.
Somehow she knew she wasn’t going to make a quick exit out of jail like she
did the few times before. After escorting Lyric and Sasha into the bank and
spending 30 minutes ineffectively trying to persuade her to confess to
making the checks, she could only assume the agent sent them off to the
county jail because he was frustrated with how much Lyric knew about the
justice system. She read a lot so she had done some extensive research on
what would happen if she were to get caught robbing banks through phony

13. checks. The police continuously threatened to take the case to Federal
Court but she knew they couldn’t because no money was received by the girl
sent in the bank and Lyric’s prints weren’t on the checks taken in the bank
or on the checks found in the vehicle she was driving. So although she
knew she was guilty of being the mastermind, all that mattered was, even
though he knew she was guilty too, the agent couldn’t prove it.
The ride to the county jail seemed to take forever. Alisha, the temp
who was caught in the bank, (Temp: A person used to pass phony checks),
was placed in a vehicle alone, while Sasha and Lyric were placed in a vehicle
together. Before the officer got in the car, they agreed to stick to the story
they had quickly conjured up but of course things changed when they got to
the jail. Since Lyric had no idea at the time Sasha was already on parole
from a recently served prison sentence, she didn’t know Sasha had gone
into ‘save myself’ mode. Once they reached the jail they were all placed in
separate interrogation rooms and that’s when it all began.
A female detective named D. Linsell waltzed into the interrogation
room where Lyric was waiting and with this devilish smirk on her face
kindly said, “Lyric, you know your girls rolled on you so you might as well
tell me the truth. I know you are the mastermind behind this whole scheme
and you can give me the real story now or you can take it up with a judge

14. later. You already have a criminal record for the same type of crime. Either
way baby girl, you’re up shit-creek without a paddle and the boat you built
got a hole in it. So what’s it going to be?” Lyric looked her square in the eyes
and told her she had nothing to say. “You are making a big mistake. I’m not
going to give you another chance and I’m not going to waste my time trying
to help you if you don’t talk to me. I deal with girls like you all the time and
you’re all the same. You think you know it all and you have absolutely no
clue. I see from your file that you work for a limousine company owned by
good ol’ Raymond and Paris. Did you know I used to work with your
mother?”
Lyric looked at her with that same devilish smirk and stated, “You’ll
have to forgive me if I don’t give a damn. And just to make it clear, she is
my step-mother and if I’m not mistaken, you two didn’t even like each other
when she was an officer. I have been here four hours. May I use the
restroom now?” “You can use it when I say you can use it.” Lyric had it in
her to punch her lights out but instead she just smiled and said, “Yeah ok.”
Since she wouldn’t talk the detective eventually decided to book Lyric
into police custody. Lyric had made up in her mind that she didn’t care
what the cops got out of the other two broads, she wasn’t telling anything
that would incriminate her or them. Two hours later, as they were leaving

15. the police station to go across the street to the county jail, the detective
allowed Lyric to use the restroom. As she quickly released what felt like a
bucket of water, she thought to herself, “Who knew holding urine for six
hours could be so freakin’ painful!” She felt like she was going to pass out.
When they reached the part of the jail which housed the inmates, they
were all put in a holding cell together and Lyric’s gut feeling was that the
other broads had really jumped ship just as the detective said and told what
little they knew about her to save themselves. One thing was for sure, they
didn’t know much of anything because Lyric didn’t trust either of them so
she never gave them any major details about anything.
Sidebar: (Lyric connected with Sasha through her friend’s barber
named Malik. Malik told Lyric that Sasha was a chick who knew the bank
system in and out and that she had inside connections that would get Lyric
more money than she was currently making. He called Sasha, set up a
meeting and Lyric met her at this apartment that Lyric had in one of her
fake names which meant Sasha couldn’t lead the police to her if anything
went wrong.)
Once they were booked in they had to wait to be sent upstairs to a
specific pod which is an area where about 20-40 inmates are held and

16. seeing how everything in jail is a hurry up and wait, it took hours for them
to be assigned to a pod. While they were waiting one of the officers came
into the holding cell and asked, “Which one of you is pregnant?” They all
said, “Not me” at the same time. Sasha was gay so they knew (or at least
thought) it wasn’t her and Alisha claimed to have had a miscarriage a few
weeks earlier so that left Lyric. She hadn’t missed any periods in a while so
she just thought maybe there was a mix-up or something and it must have
been a mistake because nothing else was said about it. It scared her at first
because she began to think what she would do if she was pregnant and
ended up getting time in jail based on testimony from these idiot chicks.
She quickly killed the thought but after they were assigned to different
pods, Lyric began to ponder what she had gotten herself into. She knew she
would be going to court within a day or two but whether or not she’d get a
bond was a different story since her previous charges were of the same
nature. At this point, all Lyric wanted to do was sleep the time away.
They were called out a day and a half later to go to court and the judge
gave them all a bond but Lyric’s was $10,000 cash. She dropped her head
and closed her eyes because she knew she wasn’t going home anytime soon.
No one she knew loved her enough to put up $10K to get her out and all the

17. money she had made earlier that week was used to pay bills and child
support.
As her preliminary hearing ended with a bang, her mind begin to
immediately wonder into how when she got into past illegal activity and got
arrested a few times but never saw the inside of a jail cell for more than a
day or two, sometimes less, she began to create an invincible side. She
thought to herself how the money she made was worth the short time she
would spend in jail since most people don’t make in a month what she was
making in day cutting phony checks. As she reminisced on her days of
hustlin’, she realized just as God will use whatever He chooses to get your
attention, so does Satan. Lyric grew up watching her mother work harder
than most men would work and she vowed to never be that way unless she
owned the business she was putting all her time into. Her mother was a
single mom of three children and Lyric remembered not having her there
the way she would have wanted but she respected that her mom worked
hard to provide a good home. When her youngest brother passed away at
the tender age of 8 from a brain tumor, Satan started planting seeds of hate
towards God into Lyric’s mind and it worked, for a short time. Lyric had to
grow up quick because her mom shut down after the death of her youngest
son and that’s when Lyric started thinking of how she would do whatever it

18. took to make a life where she wouldn’t ever need a type of god who would
let her baby brother die. Lyric was 13 when her brother passed away so her
thinking wasn’t at all in line with anything of spiritual nature.
As Lyric’s past haunted her, the invincible side began to wither away
and Lyric’s mind became clouded. It was as if her mind gathered up many
of the memories she had stored away and started a bond fire in the middle
of her brain and since there was no place for the smoke to go it just clouded
her mind. One of the memories that stuck out the most was April 9, 2000.
She had come across $68,000.00 in phony checks which eventually created
her skill to make them. There were twelve checks and each had a different
amount ranging from $8,000 to $16,000 and they were not made out to
anyone so Lyric could make it out to whoever she chose. Her neighbor, at
this posh apartment complex near downtown Atlanta where she lived, knew
her schedule enough to know she usually wasn’t home in the early part of
the day so he assumed it would be cool to have a courier deliver his package
to her apartment where he could pick it up from the door before Lyric got
home. He assumed wrong. Lyric had not gone to work that day for whatever
reason, perhaps pure laziness, and the package must have come during her
morning shower because she didn’t hear anyone knock on the door.

19. As she was leaving her apartment she stepped on the envelope. It was
leaning on the door and fell in when she opened it. Lyric looked to see who
the package was from since she knew she wasn’t expecting anything and
when she noticed it had the right apartment but the wrong name, she just
threw it on the kitchen counter and decided to try to wait to see if someone
claimed it before she opened it. When she got home that evening she
decided to open the package anyway and there were the checks. She sat at
her computer for hours trying to decide what to do. She called her people to
let them know she had the checks and asked if they wanted to help her
“clean” (make the money legitimate) them. Once they said yes, she checked
the account numbers to make sure they were real and went to work. The
next morning her neighbor came by and asked if she had found a package
outside of her door. Lyric lied by telling him she had been gone for majority
of the day but that someone else may have picked it up. She asked if he
wanted her to ask the other neighbors in the building and he quickly said
no. She lied again and said she would notify him if it was delivered to her
door before she went out of town for the weekend and he thanked her and
left.
Since it was her oldest daughter’s birthday Lyric thought she would
work on the smallest check early so she could spend the rest of the day

20. shopping and having girl-time with her daughters. Since the checks were
cashable she decided to go cash it herself. The woman at the counter
verified the amount of the check with the company who wrote it but she still
wanted more proof so she asked if she could see the package it came in.
Lyric knew she couldn’t show her the original form because it had her
address but not her name on it so she had to create a courier slip so that it
could look like it was sent to her and that’s where Lyric slipped. When the
woman verified the package receipt, the numbers didn’t match what the
courier company had in their system and she called the police. Lyric had
never slipped like that before so she knew she’d catch a charge but nothing
that would hold her in jail because she had never been convicted of a crime.
It was April 10th and she was about to spend her oldest daughter’s birthday
behind jail bars. One would think it would have ended there but it didn’t.
Lyric was just getting started. Since she knew where her mistake was, she
promised herself if she got out of jail she would make her own checks and
create her own hustle from that day forward. She never wanted to get
caught up in somebody else’s hustle again. She got off on First Offenders
and got probation, a fine, and 40 hours of community service. She stayed in
jail about 21 hours and as soon as she was released she went to work on
learning how to make her own checks.

21. As more thoughts like that began to creep in, Lyric said to herself,
“Easy come, easy go. Nothing lasts forever, nothing matters, and the next
hustle has got to be better than the last. If I get out of this, I gotta make the
hustle tighter. I gotta make it where I work alone from now on. No
outsiders. Nobody but me. No matter how much time I get, I gotta stay
strong. I’m a soldier. This ain’tgon’ kill me. It’sgon’ make me stronger and
better.”
Lyric had no clue connecting with Sasha would bring her to her
Salvation. As her days in jail begin, she started to blame Sasha for what was
happening because she turned out to be a snitch, which will always be
illegal in the game, but little did Lyric know, it was all a part of God’s plan
to save her. A few days passed and she became confused in her thinking.
She didn’t know who to call, who to write, or if she should even dare be bold
enough to pray about what was happening to her. She finally got up the
nerve to call her step-mother, Paris, so she could stay in touch with Lyric’s
public defender. Paris burst into tears when Lyric told her what happened
and she said she would try to help as much as possible. Lyric felt so trapped
and so isolated. She kept feeling in her heart that she needed to pray but
resisted because she thought there was no way God would get her out of
this.

22. That night when the call came for voluntary lockdown she decided to
go to her cell and pray. Since the feeling to pray wouldn’t go away on it’s
own she decided she would make it go away by giving the Lord a piece of
her confused, distorted, and unholy mind. As the steel door slammed shut
behind her like the bang from a shot gun, she stood in the tiny window of
the cold, eerie, lonely cell, stared at the sky and let Him have it. “Lord, I
have no idea why I’m still here. They don’t have proof I did anything wrong.
I wasn’t caught in the bank and the bank teller can’t ID me because he’s
never met me. He doesn’t even know my real name. I met Alisha two days
before this happened and Sasha has no credibility because she’s on parole
from prison. All I want You to do is let me go home. I didn’t hustle to buy
drugs or to have a bunch of material bullshit; I hustled to get caught up on
my child support which I shouldn’t even be paying and to prevent myself
from working an empty, pointless, never-ending 9-5 job. I know I haven’t
been the best mother but You, of all people, know I’m not the worst. You
know I love my children with all my heart and soul, You know I want them
with me and You know I made a mistake allowing them to live with their
dad. What did You want me to do? I could barely feed them sometimes
because Cain wouldn’t help me financially. I couldn’t get a job because I
didn’t have proper daycare for the girls and you can’t pay for daycare

23. without a job and you can’t get a job without daycare. My mom was always
saying bad things about me to Cain and that motivated him to keep them
from me. I have been everything other than a child of God to all those
around me.
I have been badly judged ever since I was able to remember. My mom
consistently told me how I would be just like my dad; a thief, a liar and a
user. I’m not like him. I love my children and I want to be there for them. I
didn’t purposely walk away from them because I didn’t want them. I really
couldn’t support them and now You’regonna make me suffer for that? How
do you fight a battle you were born to lose? Do You hate me or something?
Maybe You should, everybody else does. Why are You letting this happen to
me? Let me go home! I want to go home! You have to let me go home.
Please. I won’t survive in here not talking to or seeing my children. Please
let me go.”
Then, through her tears, her anger and the burning desire for
something more, she whispered, “You know what Lord, fuck this. You show
me and I’ll show You. I’m tired now and I’m not gon’ to beg You to do
something I know you won’t do. If You show me that You are real in my life,
I’ll give everything I am to You. This is it! There is nothing left for me to do.
I’m done.” Lyric actually waited for a response as if she was really going to

24. get one right then and nothing happened. She closed her eyes and dropped
her head and thought about her children. “What will they think of me?
How can I explain this? What if I get sent to prison and Cain never brings
them to see me? What if they resent me because they’re too young to
understand?”
Lyric’s mind kept visualizing all the what- ifs and when she was tired
of all the negative thoughts running through her mind she decided to just
go to sleep. She was exhausted from all the crying and talking and begging.
It wasn’t even dark yet and she was actually going to sleep. In the
meantime, God started working on all the things she had just prayed about
even though Lyric was unaware of it at the time.
During the short time it took her to get to sleep, she remembered the
days before her arrest when she stayed up for three days without sleep
preparing and perfecting the checks. She thought about how she would not
do anything during the day that would take her away from the perfecting
process. No phone calls, no visitors and nothing but fast food to eat so she
wouldn’t have to cook. She literally stayed in front of her computer until she
was totally sure the checks would pass, checking every single detail. She put
herself through hell for something that meant absolutely nothing in the
end. At the time her thought was not that she was trying to retire from

25. stealing by the time she turned 30, just that she needed to have some
double-digit thousands in the bank that she could eventually turn into
millions through solid investments. Lyric then realized she could have just
found a good job and just saved the money but she also thought about how
if you are clearing $400-1k a day for a few weeks, looking for a real job
becomes simply stupid.
Although Lyric never took money from innocent individuals, she
made it her mission to take money from huge corporations because she
knew they’d never miss what she took and it sounded crazy to most people
but it made perfect sense to Lyric at the time. She felt she could explain to
God stealing from big companies but taking from an individual was totally
out of the question and she figured she didn’t have a chance in hell (no pun
intended) of being forgiven.
Little did she know, sin is sin. There is no sin greater than another.
Morally, sins are weighed differently but not in God’s eyes. Sin is sin.
Period.

26. 2.
The messenger
After Lyric had been incarcerated for about two weeks, an older woman
named Benni came into the pod she was in. Lyric was sitting at a table by
herself and Bennie eventually made her way over to the table and sat down.
She said, “Let me guess, checks.” Lyric didn’t want to disrespect her
because Bennie was her elder so with her head still propped in her hands
Lyric just said, “So they say.” “You don’t have to talk to me now but you will
and when you do, you’ll see.” Lyric looked up at her and said, “See what?”
“What you’ve been looking for; answers.” Another woman joined them at
the table. “Can I sit down?” Lyric gave her this “whatever” look and she sat
down. She was truly a manly looking chick so Lyric readjusted her mindset

27. to snap on the chick if she said anything that Lyric thought was
inappropriate. “Hey shawty, I know that girl Sasha you was wit. She rolled
on you and the state ‘bout to let her go. She’s in that pod over there wit my
girl and her and the temp turned state against you.” Lyric fought back the
tears with everything in her because she knew this was her fault. In her
mind she thought, “I was right; God ain’tgon’ to let me go and there ain’t a
damn thing I can do about it.” Lyric looked at Benni and then at the girl
and all she could say without bursting into tears was, “It’s all good. They
don’t have enough on me to keep me.” She smiled at Lyric and said, “Keep
ya head up shawty, the only friend you got now is God and He’ll never turn
on you.” Of course since God did not respond to Lyric’s little jail-house
hissy-fit, at this point, the last thing she wanted to hear was anything about
God.
Three weeks had now passed and the girl Lyric shared a cell with was
released along with Sasha and Alisha. Benni asked Lyric to come to her cell
so that she wouldn’t end up with a “crazy”. Lyric had talked to Benni off
and on but she surely did not want to share a cell with a forty-something
gay woman. But something in her spirit told her to go so she did. Since
Lyric was new to the jail scene all she could think about was all the movies
she saw where skinny girls like her got turned out by the Big Bertha chick

28. so she stayed to herself for the first few nights. When Benni was in the cell,
Lyric made sure to be out of the cell and vice versa. One night after
lockdown Benni said, “God wants you to know He’s with you.” Lyric quickly
turned her nose up and said, “Well if God wants me to know something
how come He doesn’t talk to me Himself? I’m a grown woman; I don’t need
Him to relay messages to me through other people.” “He don’t talk to you
‘cause you don’t listen. He said you need to be quiet, be still and watch Him
move.” Lyric sighed heavily, shook her head and said, “Yeah ok.”
When the lights went out Benni said, “I see you been all distant ‘cause
you think I’m gon’ try you. I know you heard I’m gay. I ain’t even on that.
That lifestyle ain’t for me no more. I had a husband and a girlfriend for
sixteen years. I am divorced now and me and my girl will always be friends
but now it’s time to live my life for God. I’ve done too much bad shit
babygirl and now it’s time to sit it down and enjoy the rest of my life with
my kids and grandbabies. It’s timeout for hustlin’ too. I’ve been to prison
four times, I have three kids, two grandchildren and about a million dollars
waiting on me when I get home. God has His own way of doing things and
He does them in His own time. I never cleared a million dollars while I was
hustlin’ all these years then, low and behold, I go to the grocery store one
day to pick up a few things for dinner and I reached to the back of a shelf to

29. get a jar of mayo and a box cutter that was left on the top of one of the jars
cut the tendons in my right thumb and I lost the use of it. The grocery store
offered me 1.2 million ‘cause they knew if I took it to court I’d get more than
that. Like a dummy, instead of waiting on the settlement, I still hustled
‘cause I got bills like everybody else and now I’m here but I’ll be home in 30
days or so. Point is; God is Almighty. He can change your whole shit up in a
matter of a few seconds. I lost the use of my thumb but I will never have to
hustle again and I can now fulfill my purpose in ministry and help those
around me with the settlement money instead of with money that I stole.
When He has a calling on your life you have to listen. You can’t keep living
in sin knowing He needs you for something good. That’s the worse way to
torture your soul.
You got two choices; close your mouth and open your ears and heart
to what the Lord is tryin’ to tell you or end up like me. I don’t even know
you but I know hustlin’ is your addiction. You thought poppin’ checks was
easy. You thought it was better than trickin’ or strippin’ or sellin’ dope
right?” Lyric quietly said, “Yeah.” “See babygirl, it’s all the same to Him. Sin
is sin. It don’t matter what you do if what you do is wrong. Feel me?” “Yeah,
I feel you.” Although mentally Lyric was in no mood to hear some old
prison preachin’ chick lecture her about God’s standards, her soul had a

30. yearning to hear what she had to say, or better yet, what God was saying to
her through Benni. “I’m forty five years old Lyric. I’ve done it all and seen it
all. Everything you are, I’ve already been and everything you will be if you
stay hustlin’, I already am. Baby, don’t wait till you’re my age to want to do
right. If you got the chance now, do it now. God is talking, you just ain’t
listening.” All Lyric could bring herself to say was, “I’m listening now.”
“Yeah, but that’s ‘cause you don’t have a choice. Don’t make Him force you
to listen. Just do it.” “What will God do for me now Benni? I committed a
crime, I’m in jail and worst of all, I’m facing about 15-20 for all my charges
if I’m convicted.” “Don’t you ever doubt the power of God! God is bigger
than any and everything around you. You ain’t going down the road to no
prison. Where you at right now is as close to prison as you gon’ get. Stop
with the bullshit! You’re making excuses not to submit. Satan is a liar and
he will make you believe God won’t or can’t forgive you. Let’s see, King
David was a murderer and an adulterer and the Bible says he was after
God’s own heart. Don’t you dare think God will not change where you are
and what you are going through! Open your Bible and just read. There ain’t
one man in the Bible that was perfect except Jesus, but that was ‘cause He
came to save us. God blessed plenty of folks in the Bible. Read it Lyric, just
read it. Get out that hood mentality cause you ain’t from the hood. You got

31. something special and you gon’ lose it if you don’t listen. Why do it your
way if your way got you here? Are you listening to me or am I talking to my
damn self?” “I’m listening Benni.” “Then get close to God and let Him lead
you, okay?”“Yeah okay. I feel you. Goodnight Benni.” “Goodnight Lyric.”
Lyric stayed up for a long time trying not to think on all the things
Benni had shared with her but it was hard because it all made sense. It just
seemed to be correct. Since there was no clock on the wall in the pods, she
didn’t remember how long it was silent in the cell but Benni called her
name to see if she was still up. “Lyric, I know you have the ability to see
things in the spirit and I’m going to show you how to tune in on it.” “Let’s
do it tomorrow. I’ve had enough Jesus-talk for one day. And I ain’tno
psychic.” “That’s not what I said dummy! I said I know you have the ability
to see things in the spirit. There is a difference and you don’t talk, you just
listen and see.” In a noticeably unbelieving voice Lyric replied, “Yeah ok
Benni. Go for it.” “I’m going to sing a song and I want you to tune out
everything around you and focus on what you see when you close your eyes.
Don’t speak, don’t think, just see.” All that went through her mind was that
this lady was about to sing some made-up jailhouse hymn that was off key,
out of place for the current situation, and totally unnecessary. Lyric wasn’t
sleepy but she for real did not want this lady singing to her until she fell

32. asleep. But again she felt a sort of pulling in her spirit to just listen and
when Benni started to sing (and she could actually sing) Lyric slowly closed
her eyes and a few seconds later she saw herself walking down the isle in a
huge church towards the most beautiful man she had ever seen. It was the
most wonderful vision she had ever had and she didn’t even know why she
was having it.
She also saw one other vision concerning one of her children that
made her cry because the vision proved she would have her children with
her again. It actually scared her a little because she didn’t know what was
her own thoughts and desires and what was God. She longed to know if God
was showing her what He would allow her to have if she changed her life.
Although a small part of her was confused, Lyric’s heart became hungry to
know what God really wanted from her. Why would He show her something
that seemed so farfetched from what she was currently going through? And
who the hell would marry her with her criminal background! No man wants
to marry a woman whom he feels he has to constantly watch for fear that
she may steal from him or that he may have to bail her out of jail on a
regular basis because she won’t get a regular job.
The next morning Lyric skipped the 4:30am thing called breakfast
and prayed for God to please tell her what He wanted her to do. She

33. reminded Him that all He had to do was show her whatever it was He
wanted her to see and she would give Him what He wanted; her life. Later
that day Benni told Lyric to go to the cell when they called voluntary
lockdown and spend some time listening. When she went in, Lyric felt a
desire in her heart to get out a pad and a pen and after a few minutes of just
staring at the paper she begin to pour her heart out. It was the very first
conversation she had with God and it literally changed her life. She called
it: Proof
*Lyric my child, tell me what’s wrong.
“Lord I can’t, I just feel so alone.”
*But why my child when I’ve been here all along?
“I cried out to You Lord but you never answered,
so I just assumed I never fit Your standard
of what a real Christian woman is supposed to be,
living solely by Your Word & being totally free.”
*If I show you I was there will you come to Me,
& give Me the chance to set you free?
“You can have it all, I’m tired, Lord I’m done

34. It seems I’ve lost more than I’ve won
My home, my life, & even my kids
Everything is gone now, it’s over; that’s it.
All that’s left are these four walls
& a lot of expensive, short collect calls
I’ve even lost Sincere and he was always there
& now Satan makes me feel like no one cares
I hurt him so much & it wasn’t intentional
But everything about me is three-dimensional
So Lord if You show me at least 27 things
In my 27 years that You’ve done for me
I’ll give You my life & let You set me free.”
*Well my child let’s start from the top
when I gave you life from moms and pops (1)
and what about the voice I gave you to sing (2)
you know the one you gave up for material things

35. you were supposed to be a star in the world of music
yet you took my gift and chose to abuse it
and when your father was gone & Granddaddy was there (3)
who do you think chose him to care?
I’ve blessed you every day with the breath of life
But I won’t even count that just to show you I’m right
Now your beautiful children make six (6) things I’ve done
and that should be enough but I’ll keep on going
You longed for a mother figure so I gave you one (7)
I even gave you Kaden, your unborn son (8)
You got an abortion due to fear and stress
But all you had to do was come and confess
And what about the depression I brought you through (9)
And how I opened doors for you to attend school (10)
You neglected my blessings time & time again
Yet I still gave to you as your Father and your Friend

36. I blessed you with My prophets to show you I was there (11)
But you chose not to see, you chose not to care
And what about your freedom from your criminal activity (12)
which would cover a city block if I listed them individually
I’ve kept you sheltered, clothed, and fed (13,14,15)
And what about the injury to baby Kori’s head? (16)
I know you remember URS, 40K a year with minimal stress (17)
I even gave you the chance to start your own company (18)
And still My child you refused to come to Me
I provided you with knowledge beyond the norm (19)
So you could help others weather the storm
But you abused all I gave you and still I saved you
Because you are My child, I went the extra mile
Now let’s get back to when Dallas was born (20)
When you were at the hospital alone & torn
I sent Cain there to be by your side (21)

37. Even though you didn’t love him, had hurt him, & lied
And what about the trips with Sincere you would take
Dropping off drugs in this place and that state? (22)
I watched over you two every single day
And still what I ask is a small price to pay
Oh yeah, the job at the bank that you took advantage of (23)
Or the job with your dad you could have learned to love (24)
And I can’t finish up with mentioning why
I sent you a few angels in human disguise (25)
They served as examples of what I see in you
All that you’ve done & all that you’ll do
And all your court cases were easy to fix
Now if I counted correctly that makes 26
Now number 27 should have been number 1
Lyric My child I gave you My son
He died for your sins, to give you life

38. So now My child I ask you why
Why would you believe I have ever forsaken you?
For this is something I would never ever do
For all that has happened in your life…
Has happened… because of you…
“Father I’m so sorry for the non-belief
And now from my troubles I desire relief
My love for You was blinded by the world outside
So easy to doubt You yet so hard to hide
So I kneel before You in the sincerest of needs
Will You grow the harvest if I plant the seeds?
I could never afford the price You paid
By giving Your Son to lengthen my days
You can now have my heart, mind, body and soul
And I ask that You forgive me for being so cold
I accept Your Son as my Lord and Savior

39. And forgive me Father for my sinful behavior
I give You my life; it’s now in Your hand
I’m ready to fit Your standard of a faithful Christian woman.”
It was the first time Lyric had poured out her heart and not lied. Lyric
felt totally liberated and so appreciative that God spoke to her. She cried
silently and told the Lord she was sorry again. Because Lyric had always
been an “emotional bottler” it was very difficult for her to cry so whenever
she shed tears she would always feel the urge to go to sleep because she
became tired after she would cry. Shortly after drifting off to sleep Lyric
heard the cell door pop open and Benni came in to brush her teeth. Lyric
wasn’t sure how, but she had sleep through that thing called dinner and she
didn’t really care because she had plenty of commissary junk food to eat so
she didn’t give a second thought to missing the daily hog feed.
As Benni is brushing she says, “Lyric?” “Yes?” “Have you ever fasted?”
Lyric said yes then laughed. When Benni asked why she laughed Lyric told
her the story of how she learned to fast. “When I was working for my dad’s
limo company…” “Limo company?! Lyric I knew you wasn’t no damn hood
rat! You was on the street ‘cause you chose to be not ‘cause you had to be.
You ain’t never been no chicken-head!” “I ain’t no dumb chick if that’s what

40. you mean. Anyway, as I was saying before you interrupted me, I was at the
airport one day and some dude came up to me, told me he thought I was a
beautiful girl and asked if he could have my number. It took everything in
me not to laugh in his face because he was much shorter than me and I
won’t say he was ugly ‘cause it ain’t proper but I can tell you he was planets
away from being my type. Anyway because he was from Africa I had to
struggle to make out much of what he said to me ‘cause his accent was
heavy. He told me he was supposed to help me and when I asked him with
what he said, “Everything young lady, everything.” Since the client I was
picking up that day came in late I sat and listened to him talk out of sheer
boredom but he was for real saying some interesting shit.” With her
eyebrow raised Benni said, “Like what?” “Oh you already know he ran some
good game about God, how much money he makes doing limo service and
last but certainly not least, how he knew from the moment he saw me that I
was his wife.
I asked him if he wanted to know how many times in the last month I
had heard that same bullshit and he said he was different and he could
prove it. Even though I knew he was just trying to get in where he fit in, he
was still very knowledgeable about God and I respected that and I knew I
would never marry the nigga but his conversation had substance.

41. After talking to me for almost 2 hours in the limousine parking lot at
the airport, I told him he could have my number but he couldn’t EVER date
me, kiss me, hold my hand, give me hugs, take me out, or call me after 9pm
and if he even mentioned sex, I wouldn’t talk to him anymore and he
actually said ok.” Benni finished brushing her teeth and sat down on her
bunk. “Damn Lyric! You ain’tgive the man no leeway to get in. I can believe
you told him all that, wityo smart ass mouth!” Lyric laughed and continued.
“He took my number and called me a few days later and believe it or not he
mostly talked to me about God and his fourteen year old daughter. Even
though he called on a regular basis after that, I didn’t always take his call
because I just wasn’t interested in him on a personal level and I made sure
to make that clear so there would be no misunderstanding. One night after
not taking his call for a few days, I picked up and after talking to him for
about 20 minutes or so he said, “Lyric, my dear, do you know what fasting
is?” I was truly a smart ass back then, more so than I am now, so I rudely
said, “Yeah but you ain’tgon’ try to come up in here trying to make me all
holy. I’m too damn skinny to go any length of time without food so we can
just skip that subject.” “No Lyric, we must discuss this because it is vital to
your spiritual health.” “Oh yeah?”

42. As I let him finish his point I’m thinking to myself, “Is this nigga
serious?” “Yes, my dear Lyric it is extremely vital. You must get in line with
God if you are going to receive His blessings.” Now you know I paused for a
minute. “Yo, if I gotta NOT eat to get in line with God, I might have to pass
on getting in line with Him ‘cause like I said, I’m too skinny to deprive
myself of food.” He laughed and said, “Silly girl, you will learn soon.” “Call
me silly again and you will be connected to what is commonly referred to as
dead air.” “You would hang up on me?” “As sure as the sky is blue.” “My
dear you have so much anger, so much hurt, you must let me help you. I
want you to fast from 6am to 6pm tomorrow and watch how God moves in
your life.” “There you go with that again. What part of I only weigh 134
pounds do you not understand?” “God will sustain you, I promise. What is
wrong with just trying? Drink whatever liquids you want, just do not eat for
12 hours. You will see. You have a gift and you will see.” “Yeak ok. I gotta
go. Hit me up tomorrow after 6pm cause I ain’tgon’ talk to you or anybody
else while I’m doing this.” “Very well my dear. I will call you tomorrow
evening.” “Yeah ok.”
By this time Benni was in tears from laughing so hard. “Damn girl,
you got a smart ass mouth!” Lyric was quiet for a minute because it actually
started to dawn on her what that short fasting lesson did for her. It was

43. preparation of what was to come in her relationship with God. Still
laughing, Benni said, “Finish the story Lyric.” “My bad, I just had a sidebar
thought. Anyway, I got up at 6am and I prayed for God to get me through
the fast and show me whatever the gift was. I literally went right back to
sleep thinking I could trick God and sleep through not being able to eat but
I woke up about 45 minutes later and I was just laying there thinking about
how stupid I felt. Even though I prayed sometimes, I didn’t pray every night
so I felt kind of funny going to God like that. Man, by the time 12 o’clock
rolled around I felt like my stomach had my back in a choke hold.”
Laughing hysterically Benni stood up and then sat back down on her bunk
and said, “You should turn this shit into a movie. I didn’t know you did
comedy too! Girl, you funny as hell! Keep talking.”
“Well when 3 o’clock came I was near death or at least it felt that way
but I just told myself I wasn’t gon’ quit ‘cause I was curious to know what
God was gon’ do. Since old dude didn’t tell me to read my Bible or say a
chant or something, I started watching the clock and I don’t think time has
ever gone by that slow. It was like I was in a Spike Lee movie, moving all
slow, like I was floating. I started to feel a little sick by the time 4:30 came
but I just couldn’t quit for some reason. I was expecting to feel some type of
holy feeling or a least to have a halo over my head after depriving myself

44. like that. Since I’m skinny, I’ve always been able to eat whatever I want
without gaining a lot of weight so to not eat was like torture.
Since I had become weak I told my self I was going to order a pizza
cause there was no way I was gon’ cook. I tried to do things like watch TV
but you already know what that was like. I think I saw a commercial for
every restaurant in Georgia. I tried to sleep again but I couldn’t because it
was like I was supposed to be awake, like God wasn’t gon’ let me cheat and
sleep through it. I ordered the pizza about 5:30, thinking I had timed it
perfectly since it would take about 20-25 minutes to get to me and of course
they called and said they would be late and I wouldn’t get it until about
6:45. When they asked me if I still wanted the pizza I said yes and laid
down on my bed in total disgust because I felt like I was being tortured.
When 6 o’clock came I prayed to God and I just sat there on my knees for a
few minutes because I can’t explain how I felt but I knew something was
different. I passed the feeling off as weakness from not eating and laid back
down on my bed until my food came. I stayed up late that night looking for
God’s miracle or revelation of my gift and I got nothing. I didn’t know it
would a gift that had to be perfected and I can only assume I must have
needed to do it more than once because nothing happened or maybe I did it

45. wrong or something. Who knows? I just thought I would know right then
and there and it didn’t happen like that.”
Benni was quiet for so long Lyric thought she had fallen asleep. Then
she softly said, “Lyric, girl you can’t even imagine what God is gon’ do in
your life. I feel like I’m listening to myself talk. You are so much like me it’s
ridiculous. God always has a way of pulling things and people together to
get and keep our attention. Lyric, I’m telling you now, you better write this
shit down cause just like God brought me to you, He’s gon’ bring you to
somebody else. You hear me?” “I hear you Benni.” “Babygirl you got more
than one talent. I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard. I know
you ain’t the sharing type ‘cause I can feel in my spirit that you only sharing
the surface shit in your life wit me but there’s gon’ be somebody who will
learn from what you been through. I’m never gon’ forget you. You are good
babygirl and what you saw in your vision is what God is gon’ give you. God
will make it where that man loves you for who you are. He won’t care about
this part of your life because he will love the new you and respect the old
you.” Lyric fought really hard but she couldn’t hold back the tears. “How
did you know?” “Cause you long to be in love. You always on the defensive
‘cause you feel you gotta protect your heart. You got three kids and you
been married but you don’t know what real love is.” Through her tears Lyric

46. quietly said, “I’m not sure I want to know.” “Oh babygirl, you won’t have a
choice. The man you saw is the one. The only one. The only man you will
ever truly love.”
Lyric was quiet because she hated crying and she figured if she didn’t
say anything else Benni would just shut up but she continued. “I see right
through you ‘cause I use to be you. You want to be married again ‘cause you
love the idea of having a family. You ain’t close to your family are you?”
“No.” “I can tell. You have barely used the phone since I’ve been here, you
don’t get mail, and I never see you writing anybody. God will continue to
isolate you until you get it. He has sent you people to help you along the
way but you keep turning them away. What happened to the limo guy? You
still talk to him?” “No.” “Why?” “When he started in on the wifey thing
again I cut him off.” “Stop being a loner Lyric. I ain’t saying you shoulda
married the nigga but you are worthy to be taken care of. Let go and love
someone other than your children. Okay?” “Yeah ok.” “Start with God, then
yourself, then your children.” “I feel you Benni.”
The conversation ended with more revelation than Lyric could
handle. Although she was afraid to ask, she sincerely wondered how Benni
knew what was in her vision because Lyric didn’t verbally share it with her.
Lyric’s mind soon became clouded with thoughts of all the times she may

47. have missed God trying to show her something. She thought about all the
nice guys she kicked to curb and the 7 idiots she kept and never had a real
relationship with.
Christmas Day came and sometime that afternoon an officer called
for Benni to pack her things. Lyric was happy that Benni would get to spend
Christmas with her family. Although Lyric didn’t celebrate Christmas (for
religious and personal reasons), she still wondered what her children were
doing and if they were thinking of her. Before Benni left she gave Lyric a
hug and told me, “Stay quiet Lyric. It’s the only way to hear the Lord. Talk
to Him and then listen. I promise He’ll listen then He’ll speak. The longer
you wait the longer you stay here.” Lyric didn’t know what the last part
meant but she wished Benni well and prayed for her when she left. Benni
had successfully created a place in Lyric’s heart as an angel in disguise, her
messenger, her example of what she would become if she didn’t change her
life. Lyric did not see it at the time but God had begun to deal with her in a
special way because there would be many examples of ordinary women
with an extraordinary love for God who were sharing a jail-house
experience.
It soon began to weigh heavily in her spirit to stop judging other
people. Despite the fact that all the women there were ultimately in jail,

48. they all came with their own stories of grace, mercy and deliverance from
God and He longs for us to totally submit to Him so that He can use us to
fulfill His purpose. Lyric couldn’t help but to continuously think about the
fact that Benni knew what she had seen in the vision and that Benni knew
God would allow her to have it. Just thinking about it got her teary so she
quickly put the vision on the back-burner so that she wouldn’t cry again.
The county jail started to become a place of release for her. Lyric had never
cried, laughed or analyzed her life the way she did while she was there. God
was using whatever He chose to put her in a place of rest and restoration
because He knew she could not truly have one without the other. Lyric also
thought about how Benni let her know that the problem wasn’t what was
going on around her but that she was the problem.
It was time to listen and that was exactly what Lyric started to do. She
had a lot to think about and even more to act on. There was no way she was
going to miss the Blessings Boat this time. Although Lyric had no idea it
would be a process, she still knew she needed to completely immerse
herself in the Lord because not only was He listening to her wants and
needs, He was actually responding to her prayers. Maybe not in the way
Lyric wanted Him to but it was definitely a start.

49. 3.
The miracle
Shortly after Benni left Lyric started reading the Bible trying to figure out
why God felt being in jail was what He needed to use to get her attention.
She thought maybe there would be an example of what she was going
through somewhere in Bible. She had already gone to court and pleaded not
guilty to the initial four charges of Printing/Executing/and Negotiating
Drafts or Checks. She didn’t speak to her attorney often so she didn’t know
what her next move would be but she knew she had to fulfill her purpose in
jail to be set free. She now knew her time there was about her spiritual
growth not just about a crime. While she was thumbing through her Bible
she heard someone scream her name. “Lyric! You got mail shawty!” She
quickly went to the cell door to get the letter but her excitement quickly

50. weakened. She had hoped it would be a letter from a relative but instead it
was a summons stating she was going to court January 7th for child support.
She thought to myself, “This shit is going from bad to worse.” Lyric just
could not understand how Cain could take her to court to send her to jail if
she was already in jail.
Her court date seemed to come quickly and it felt so bizarre standing
before a judge telling her the very reason she was in jail was because she
was hustlin’ to pay her child support. The judge was already irritated with
Cain because they had gone before her a few times before and he had made
many accusations against her that proved to be lies. “Ms. James”, she asked
with this disgusted look on her face, “When will you be released from jail?”
“I don’t know. My attorney says we go back to court in three weeks.” She
looks over at Cain and says, “Well Mr. James, looks like you’ll have to come
back and get another court date in about three weeks. And even then, there
is no guarantee she will get out of jail. With charges like these it will take
some time before she is released. Weeks, maybe months and if she is
convicted it could be years before you get back in my courtroom.”
Lyric would never forget the look on her face. Although the judge was
clearly unhappy with fact that she was in jail, she seemed pleased with the
fact that she made him look like a fool in her courtroom. “Is there anything

51. else Mr. James?” “Your honor, she’s not going to pay, she…” “Of course
she’s not going to pay, she’s incarcerated. Good day sir.” And just like that it
was over. Lyric had waited in a cell below the courthouse for almost six
hours to be in court roughly ten minutes when her case was called.
According to the clock right outside of the holding cell under the
courthouse, another three hours went by before she got back to the pod and
when she got back she just thanked God the judge didn’t sentence her to
any time for not paying her child support. It was bad enough not knowing
when or if she was going to be released on the current charges but to be
sentenced for not paying child support would have added fuel to the fire.
A young lady named Selina was on the phone crying when Lyric came
back from court. She didn’t think much of it at first since women in jail cry
all the time for various reasons. Its jail, that’s definitely something to cry
about. Anyway, Selina weighed heavily in Lyric’s spirit and she didn’t know
why. She didn’t even know her. Lyric thought that maybe she could just
pray for her but when she did something in her spirit said to ask Selina’s
cell mate what was wrong with her so she did. Crissy, her cell mate, told
Lyric Selina was crying because her three year old son had to have his legs
amputated from the knee down and she was so hurt because she felt it was
her fault for doing drugs while she was pregnant with him. He’d had health

52. issues from birth and was diagnosed some sort of infection and the doctors
told her mother if they didn’t remove his legs the infection would spread.
Lyric immediately went to her cell and stood in the window and asked
God what He wanted her to do. She had no clue why she needed to hear
what she’d just heard about a chick she didn’t even know but she felt the
need to do something. Lyric thought about her own children and how if she
heard something like that while she was in jail she may have had a nervous
breakdown. Lyric didn’t know much at all about fasting except what she
learned from the limo guy she had met but she told God she would try it if it
would help. Lyric prayed He would bless Selina’s son and show her if she
was on the right path in trying to help him. She fasted from sun up to sun
down for three days. One day for every year of Terris’s life. Selina stayed in
her cell for two days without eating or sleeping. Sometimes Lyric would
walk by her cell and see her just staring out of the tiny window.
The fast became extremely complicated during the second day. Lyric
had dedicated herself to strictly water from 4:30am to 6:30pm. Since most
of her days in jail consisted of eating and sleeping she literally felt like she
was starving herself but she was determined to get through it to help this
woman’s son. On the third day Selina still had not come out of her cell.
Lyric didn’t understand. She figured Selina had been praying and maybe

53. even fasting too since it was her son but Lyric’s fast was almost over. She
had prayed and read the Bible all throughout the day and she still hadn’t
heard anything about the boy. Something had to be wrong. It was 6:30pm,
her fast ended and she even didn’t know if he was okay or not. When
mandatory lockdown came Lyric told her new cell mate, Ms. Carline how
disappointed she was. Carline was the only one who knew of the fast
because Lyric had told her what happened to Selina’s son. “Don’t worry
Lyric, God will reward you when he’s ready and how He chooses.” “When
He’s ready?! I need for that boy to be healed before his surgery! Maybe I did
something wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you about my fast. The Bible
says you’re not supposed to tell everybody about it. Maybe God won’t honor
it because I didn’t really know what I was doing in the first place. Maybe I
didn’t pray right.” “Maybe you just need to eat and get some sleep. Maybe
you need to get a better understanding of how the Lord works. He will
never do things on your time but He will always be on time. Just pray about
it before you go to sleep and He’ll work it out.”
Lyric was literally crushed. She took her Bible and through it on the
top bunk. “Well Ms. Carline, maybe you’re right. I guess there wasn’t
anything I could really do anyway. I mean I don’t expect God to give me
anything with everything I’ve done. I just wanted to help.” She sighed

54. heavily and climbed on her bunk. “Goodnight Ms. Carline.” “Goodnight
Lyric, and stop worrying.”“Oh my God!” Lyric whispered in a faint voice.
“What L, what!” Carline yelled. Lyric climbed back down and gave Carline
her Bible. “When I threw my Bible on the bunk it opened up here.” She
leaned hard up against the cold concrete cell wall in disbelief. Her Bible
had fell open to Mark chapter nine.
Mark 9:14-29
And when He came to the disciples, He saw a great multitude around
them, and scribes disputing them. Immediately, when they saw Him, all
the people were greatly amazed, and running to Him, greeted Him. And
He asked the scribes, “What are you discussing with them?” Then one of
the crowd answered and said, “Teacher, I brought You my son, who has a
spirit. And whoever seizes him, it throws him down; he foams at the
mouth, gnashes his teeth, and becomes rigid. So I spoke to your disciples
that they should cast it out, but they could not. He answered him and said,
“O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I
bear with you? Bring him to Me.” Then they brought him to Him. And
when he saw Him, immediately the spirit convulsed him, and he fell on the
ground and wallowed, foaming at the mouth.

55. So He asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?”
And he said, “From childhood. And often he has thrown him into the fire
and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have
compassion on us and help us.” Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all
things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the father of the
child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”
When Jesus saw that the people came running together, He rebuked
the unclean spirit, saying to it, “Deaf and dumb spirit, I command you,
come out of him and enter him no more!” Then the spirit cried out,
convulsed him greatly, and came out of him. And he became as one dead,
so that many said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted
him up and he rose. And when He had come into the house, His disciples
asked Him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?” So He said to them,
“This kind can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting.”
Lyric had absolutely no idea what to say, think, or feel at that moment
so she quietly got back on her bunk and thanked God and spent the next
few minutes trying to figure out what just happened. The next morning she
was anxious to see if her Bible-throwing incident was just coincidence or if
Terris was really healed.

56. Lyric got up for breakfast (if that’s what you want to call it) and she
didn’t see Selina so she decided to wait until the afternoon. Sure enough,
Selina was on the phone with her mom when Lyric came out of the cell from
her afternoon nap. Lyric waited at the table near the phones to see if she
could hear any change in Selina’s voice, yet all she heard was sniffling. Lyric
put her head down on the table and then she heard a scream. It wasn’t loud
but she clearly heard it and she looked up to see if it was Selina and it was.
She was ecstatic. Selina held her head down and started thanking God for
healing her son. Lyric walked over and asked if everything was okay and
Selina looked so happy. “My mother took Terris for his final check-up
before the surgery and he didn’t have to have the surgery because the
infection was gone. I have to go to my cell and repent because I was so
upset with God for allowing this to happen and even through my anger He
still healed my son.”
Lyric didn’t tell Selina she had fasted for Terris but it was
confirmation that God was talking now and Lyric was actually paying
attention. Well, kinda. When Selina went upstairs to go to her cell she
turned around and looked at Lyric before she went in. Lyric smiled at her
and Selina smiled back but had this odd look on her face. In a kind,
peaceful voice she said, “It’s you. You’re the reason I came back.” “Came

57. back from where?” Lyric said, confused. “We’ll talk later,” Selina said and
went into her cell. Lyric tried not to think too much on what was said to her
but she couldn’t help it because she felt like things were about to get real
interesting.
The next day Selina came and sat at a table with Lyric and told her
God said Lyric was her assignment. She was something called a Trustee in
the jail and she said she quit because she had never been worked as if she
was a slave and she wasn’t about to start just because she was locked up.
“Girl, I didn’t work that hard on the street so I’ll be damned if I let a damn
jail officer work me like a Hebrew slave. I don’t know how I’m gon’ shorten
my time now but God will work it out if I do what He wants me to do.” Lyric
hadn’t learned the jail vocabulary yet so she asked, “What’s a Trustee?” “It’s
where you work for the jail to get 2 for 1. You work one day but get credit
for two. I have a year left but being a trustee gives me six months. Anyway,
are you listening now Lyric?” “Listening to what?” “God.” Lyric was quiet
for a long time and had a blank look on her face. She couldn’t bear to
acknowledge the fact that Selina knew something she shouldn’t know so
Lyric changed the subject by saying, “Does it take a long time for you to
apply to be one of those trustee people. And do they take their time sending
you up there once you have been approved to be one?” Selina smiled. “See,

58. that’s where faith comes in. I needed to quit so I could be here with you but
He’ll send me back when it’s time.” She said it so confidently that Lyric
couldn’t help but be amazed at her faith in what God would do for her if she
obeyed.
Selina got up from the table and that was it. Lyric let her walk away
even though she had what seemed like a million questions. Why would God
make her someone’s assignment? How the hell was that going to get her out
of jail? And last and most importantly, was being Selina’s assignment
Lyric’s reward for fasting for her son? As more days passed Lyric begin to
analyze things again. She started to see how God was building the road to
her Salvation but she still found it hard to submit when she didn’t know
what lay ahead. She thought about that strange day back in November
when one of the inmates came up to her and Benni while they were sitting
at one of the tables and asked Lyric if she was saved. Benni looked at Lyric
to see her reaction. Lyric raised her eyebrows and said, “Define saved.”
Marie, who was a short, skinny white chick who obviously had been
through a lot in her life, kindly said to Lyric, “Have you given your life to
Jesus?” “To Jesus or to God?” “Well sweetie they’re actually one in the
same. The Bible says you cannot get to the Father unless you come through
the Son.” “I haven’t gotten that far yet so I guess the answer would be no.”

59. “What’s your name?” “It’s L.” “No sweetie, what’s your name?” Clearly
irritated, Lyric said, “I know you heard me the first time.” “Ok fine. Would
you like for me to say the prayer of salvation with you?” Lyric raised her
eyebrow again. “You can but I ain’t about to say a prayer that will commit
me to wearing church hats and skirts for the rest of my life cause I promise
you it ain’t happening.” Benni had this look on her face as if she couldn’t
wait to see Marie’s reaction. “Well L. What you wear is a personal choice.
God wants you as you are. Hold on honey, let me get my Bible.”
As she walked away Benni calmly said, “Watch.” “Watch what?” “How
she gon’ struggle. You are blessed Lyric. Just watch and see.” When Marie
came back with her Bible she kneeled down in front of Lyric and took her
hand, bowed her head and began to pray. Immediately she started
stuttering and it seemed as if she could barely make it through the prayer.
Out of respect Lyric let her finish but her facial expression could be read
from a million miles away. “You are officially saved L. Now you can do the
work God has for you.” Lyric nodded her head as a thank you and Marie
took her Bible and went over to another table to talk to another young lady
who had just come into the pod. Oddly enough, Marie didn’t stutter one bit
when she said the same prayer with the next chick.

60. As Lyric glanced over at Benni she smiled and had that “I told you so”
look on her face. “Lyric, always remember that you should never try to save
someone else before you save yourself. Saving others isn’t what gets you to
Heaven, serving others is what gets you there. Even Jesus came to serve,
not to be served. People recognize the God in you which is why they are so
drawn to you.” “How can people recognize God in me when I barely know
Him?” “Doesn’t matter. Haven’t you had people tell you there’s just
something about you?” “Yeah I have.” “Well babygirl, that’s what it is. You
are destined to become a Godly woman. You just choosin’ to do it the hard
way. Everything that happens in your life is training not torture. Believe it
or not all this is in God’s plan for your future with Him.” Lyric was quiet
because she could not figure out how this was preparation for anything God
had for her but the hunger in her soul just wouldn’t allow her to put it on
the back-burner anymore.
As Lyric shook herself out of memory mode she came to the
realization that all the women she was in the pod with would play some sort
of role in her life, even if it was just based on observing how they reacted to
their circumstances and how they applied their beliefs in their tribulation.
As she scanned the pod looking at all the prostitutes, drug addicts and
ghetto warriors, she began to see mothers, daughters and believers. She saw

61. women from all walks of life and how God used them as vessels for her to
get onto a path of righteousness. She took a deep breath and just took it all
in. Lyric then began to meditate on how God brought to her to her lowest
point to help her reach her highest peak. It was shocking to know God
thought enough of her to take the time to assign people to her to get her to
realize her full potential in Christ. Lyric could actually feel the hunger in her
beginning to grow. The words “God wants you as you are” began to linger
inside Lyric repeating itself over and over again.
She sat at the table for a few more minutes and as she was getting up
the news came on the television. When they called for voluntary lockdown
she decided to stay out because she wanted to see the sports highlights
because she loved football. Many of the women thought it was strange that
Lyric stayed out because she was always in her cell so they began to flock to
the table she was sitting at. She quickly moved to a table closer to the
television so she could hear better and but never even got to watch the news
because she got flooded with questions about why she was there and what
charges she had. She didn’t talk much to any of them but it was funny to her
how they all said the same thing about her. None of them could believe she
was there because she looked like some corporate chick who wore business
suits and hills.

62. Isn’t it funny how when we judge people we can be so wrong
sometimes? Lyric thought about how she looked like the very thing she
hustled so hard to stay away from; that corporate image. She was seen as a
little spoiled brat with a valley-girl attitude and a mouth to match it. She
wasn’t purposely coming off that way but her guard had been up for so long
it was on auto-pilot. As she was flooded with question after question she
realized that this experience was only going to be a stepping stone into her
destiny just as Benni had said. Although Lyric tired quickly of all the
inquires about her life and crimes, she took to heart that some of them
weren’t just being nosey, some of them just wanted to know her. And of
course there’s always a chick that’s the Billy-bad-ass of the pod who has to
try to fight every female inmate who looks at her wrong and gets upset
when she’s not getting all the attention, as in this case. This chick was
yelling at someone sitting near the TV and since it is a natural human
reaction to look in that direction when you hear someone screaming at
another individual, Lyric looked that way not knowing the chick was
already looking at her. “What the fuck are looking at?” she yelled. In the
calmest voice Lyric could find she said, “I’m not looking at you, I’m looking
through you.” As all the woman around her laughed, the chick came over
near the table and stood in about 10 feet in front of her. The only thing that

63. separated them was a big blue plastic chair that was in a row of chairs used
for sitting in the day area of the pod.
Although Lyric was afraid at first she didn’t flinch because she knew
the girl would feed off her fear and possibly hit her. This chick definitely
looked like she would have ripped Lyric a new asshole. “Can you see
through me now bitch? I hate bitches like you. You ain’tno better than the
rest of us. You probably in here on some bullshit anyway. You ain’tno
gangsta bitch. You ain’t even jail material. Get up bitch so we can get it
poppin’ up in here. I’ll show you what gangsta really is!”
As Lyric contemplated whether or not she really wanted to fight this
woman, she somehow felt if she didn’t fight her she would get tested by
every other chick who felt like she punked out. So in the same calm voice
Lyric raised her eyebrows and said, “Oh yeah? Well, do what you do. You
look real good talking all that shit from the other side of that chair.” Lyric
waited a few seconds because she just knew the chick was going to leap over
that chair and drill her but to her surprise the girl just kept talking. “If you
want me bitch come and get me. I’m going down the road anyway. I ain’t
got shit to lose on a bitch like you. Hit me! Hit me!” It was at this point that
Lyric figured out that the girl wasn’t going to start the fight,she just wanted
to finish it. Lyric knew is she hit the chick first she would receive another

64. charge to add to the four she already had. This was a clear case of misery
loves company and Lyric simply refused to play into it. She smiled at the
chick and then politely turned around to the table and said to the few
women who were sitting there, “As I was saying…”
Since all the women had gotten quiet because they were expecting to
see a fight, you could hear nothing but the TV and when Lyric turned back
around to the table everyone laughed hysterically and went back to their
conversations as if nothing happened. The girl stood there for a few seconds
as if she was waiting for Lyric to say something else but when Lyric ignored
her as if she wasn’t even there she eventually went and sat down. You could
clearly tell Lyric had embarrassed her and although Lyric was relieved she
didn’t have to fight her, she knew in her heart she would have fought like
her life depended on it if the girl had hit her.
A few minutes later when an officer called for mandatory lockdown all
the women at Lyric’s table asked her if she would pray before they went in
for the night. Lyric was shocked! She had never prayed in public before and
she felt uncomfortable being on the spot like that. She didn’t know who it
was but a voice came from behind her and said, “Come on L. Please say the
prayer. Just speak from your heart.” Lyric didn’t turn around to see who
said it because women were walking up to get in a circle to pray. A young

65. lady named Tasha came up and grabbed her hand and Lyric joined hands
with the woman next her. Tasha said, “L, it’s preparation. You’ll be doing
this all the time real soon.” Lyric smiled and all the women put their heads
down. She had no idea where to even begin so she paused for a few seconds.
“Heavenly Father, we come to You in prayer to ask that You cover each of
us here tonight so that we may rest well and wake up renewed in Your
Spirit. I know we are all gathered here in an unlikely place of worship but I
ask that You bless us in our efforts not our condition. Jail is just a building,
not a lifestyle.”
As she continued to pray Lyric could hear sniffles from those who had
started to cry. “I pray Father that You will bless our children. Give them the
comfort they need to cope with being without us. I pray that You will
continue to minister to each of us here so that we can live out our destiny in
Your will for our lives. Continue to be our Shepherd and let none of us
stray. Father if You can save me I know You can save everyone here. I pray
that You will reveal Yourself to all of us so that we will not be the same
person we were when we came into this jail. Form a protective hedge
around us and allow us to make the most of our time with You here. Let
none us leave You here when we are free. Let us not judge one another but
be sisters in Christ. I pray that You will remove the spirit of addiction,

66. prostitution, neglect and anything else in us that is not of Your will. Father
all that I have prayed, I pray in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ. Amen.”
Lyric looked up and no one moved. Everyone said Amen but they were still
standing there in the circle, some quiet and others crying. She bowed her
head again and closed her eyes to meditate on what she had said or rather
what God said through her because she could have never said those things
on her own.
The main pod door popped open and the guard came in and told
everyone it was time to go in. She smiled at Lyric as she checked all doors as
all the inmates went in. When she got to Lyric’s door she door she said,
“Make sure you really take Him with you when you leave.” Lyric smiled and
nodded her head in agreement and went in the cell. As she laid down she
thought about how she had grown up around a family of Jehovah’s
Witnesses, had even gone to the Kingdom Hall many times and yet still did
not have a personal relationship with God and then one day, November 6,
2003 to be exact, she goes to jail and there He is, waiting for her. Her
thoughts were in no way disrespecting that religion, she was just
remembering how she was in that particular religious environment for
much of her youth and did not personally know God. Although Lyric had
attended a few jail-house church services, she came to the realization that

67. God is not about attendance at a church or any other religious organization.
For her particular circumstances it became about her just getting to know
God as a divine entity.
Lyric stared at the ceiling meditating on all the things she knew she
wanted to accomplish in her life. She also thought a lot about Selina and
Terris and how bad Selina must have felt not being able to be there for him.
Eventually she drifted off to sleep so that the night would pass, a new day
would come, and she would be one step closer to going home. Maybe.