Nanowrimo

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NANOWRIMO
Tanya Adjeju walked down the road, a
slight skip in her steps, she was dressed in a
skirt suit and pinkish camisole with purple
sandals and a large bag bearing her
laptop and everything else that she needed.
She had on a weave that was neatly done,
salons were getting better in Nigeria, she
thought to herself with joy in her heart.
She thought back to the last four years
and she had to give God thanks. She had
fallen into the hands of the wrong person
quite by mistake and she had literally gone
through the wringer all because of a
man‟s ego. The bible didn‟t lie when it said
that the heart of man was desperately
wicked that who knows it? If you had told
her this exactly four years ago, she would
not have believed.
She did have one thing to be thankful for.
She had gone into the situation a naïve,
carefree young girl and emerged a
beautiful young woman. She would have
ended up bitter if not for the grace and
mercy of God but God knew beforehand
and had prepared her for the event and
instead of evil, the situation had birthed
something beautiful in her spirit. She had a
depth that could not be measured and a
definiteness of how she wanted her life to
look. It had birthed a confidence in God

that would not have come through if she
was still the spoilt 18 year old college
spoilt brat. God had a way of arranging
journeys that brought out the special
things that He had already put in our
spirit.

Tanya climbed the stairs murmuring to
herself, she was humming to her
omnipotent God because she knew that it
was going to be a great day. In the last
two years, her elder sister had gtten
married and now had a beautiful nephew,
gazing into his face was a miracle, the glee
she saw in his face, restored her soul, she
could stare at his face forever. It was now
that she was convinced that she was
indeed a woman, with a woman‟s heart or
maybe her babies were calling to her. She
smiled to herself and mumbled greetings at
the people she came across.
The workplace had always been a mystery
to her because there was either one
conflict or the other always going on. She
didn‟t believe she belonged in a workplace,
this after 3 years at a workplace, if it
wasn‟t the sabotage, it was the strife,
quarrelling‟s and name callings; they
wearied her soul. You never quite knew

what anyone wanted. It was cut throat
all the way, you just had to wait and see.
She had promised her God that she would
keep and open heart and throw away that
thought that had been lodged in her
conscience for two years that everyone
was a wolf out to get whatever they
wanted at whatever cost. Her bestie
assured her that such a reasoning was
too melancholy and that people who
survived in the office environment had to
have a little bit of detachment to their
professionalism. Well that was the problem,
wasn‟t it? She possessed none of those
qualities. She could produce excellent
work at the right time, that was
professionalism abi (yeah, as long as she
maintained and emotional equilibrium of
50). See, how could she maintain a level
equilibrium when her work thrived on her
passion being on a high of about 500. If she
stayed at 50, her work would be
lacklustre. But if she gave her passion to
pigs, they would manipulate and control
her. What was the solution, she wondered
as her hand massaged her head, trying to
calm a non-existent headache. It might seem
super human but she never had headaches,

she had absolutely no explanation for this
except that when she surrendered her life
to the Lordship of Jesus, those were part of
the things she asked for. Nobody gets their
salvation like that, right? Wrong. Jesus had
to practically beg her to allow Him
lordship over her life because she did not
want to trust Him. Why because she trusted
herself too much and yeah, she wasn‟t
planning on giving up her fashion sense. So
she took the lord through a series of
questions and when she was satisfied, she
had cried –she who never so much as shed
a tear for anything, she was the ice
princess – she cried buckets and then
surrendered her life. It wasn‟t easy o, good
thing about it was that the Lord was
keeping his side of the bargain.

The only thing left was in the choice of a
husband. She had so many options who
were ready to tie the knot and start
sharing a house and expenses but marriage
was so much more than expenses now, the
older ones made you see only the work,
the younger ones made you see the benefit –
having sex. Last time she wasn‟t a guy so
that was kind of not top of her list,

talking to someone and actually enjoying
her conversation was top of her priority.
She had had enough of worship from her
last boyfriend, worship and placing her on
a pedestal had precluded the chance of
having an honest conversation. To be
worshipped but not have the joy of sharing
minds and heart was not for her, no siree,
now maybe she could concentrate on
work for once and not live inside her
own head, even if it was a pretty head.

***

What‟s up with the boyfriend? She was
listening to her baby sis giving her
coaching lessons on relationships. She must
have bagged an F in relationships in college
and an A in “ITK” short for „I too know‟ in
naija slangs. Her grandmother was always
fond of scolding her and reprimanding
her on her mouth speaking in her dialect
and telling her how men didn‟t like a
woman who was too intelligent, just cook
well in the kitchen and satisfy them in bed
and you will be fine. She sighed in her heart
as she remembered her grandmother‟s
word, her grandma had passed away not

long ago, well into her nineties. Her
grandma had been a belle and had
married at the age of 15 to one man, left
shortly after when her husband tried to
prevent her only daughter from going to
school. Her grandma was simply a
treasure, her heart tightened at the
thought that she did not give her
grandma the best she could have. This
simply taught her that she should be living
her life in the present and not thinking
too much. She moved to the kitchen made
Indomie (a kind of pasta sold in Nigeria)
and an orange drink and went upstairs
to watch a movie on her laptop as she
considered briefly the poverty in the
nation at the time. Her joy was that she
wasn‟t going to experience the suffering.
She intended to be the giver during this
modern day famine in Nigeria. Her pastor
always told her that people like her make
it in life; she always screamed when she
heard him but she never understood those
words the way she understood it now. She
had had a long day at work, had just
spoken with her boyfriend on the phone.
She was with him because he was safe and
wanted a simple life. He had great steady

stable plans, something that she appeared
to have on the surface but deep inside her,
she was as impulsive as they come. So her
unstable temperament and his stable one,
she would have an easy time of it, no games,
he was as simple as they came. All that
remained was to check his endurance
level and his commitment to God and she
would decide, -not to forget his temper. It
had not escaped her the number of women
who had been killed by their husbands in
2012 and she kind of knew a friend or two
whose husbands practiced boxing on them.
Was domestic abuse on the rise? Or were
women just being more vocal about it? Her
bestie assured her yesterday that they
weren‟t; it was the dead ones that were
making the deadlines.
She grimaced to herself, this world was
funny o, some people were out there
creating new inventions and gracing the
front of TIME magazine and the like and
all some people wanted was to beat some
woman. Well, it‟s the devil. Or so the
preacher on the street said. In her church,
everyone was perfect, if the women got
beaten, they never said anything about it as
when a woman opens her mouth, she

should expect a beating. She did not agree
but that was not the information that was
going to dwell in her mind today, she had
more important things to think about.

She changed out of her suits and told her
sis Cara to help drop her plates in the sink;
one of the few benefits of being older than
Cara. She changed into her champagne
teddy and lay down to retire for the
night, work wasn‟t quite as easy as she
thought it would be, anytime the day was
over, she hit the sheets and didn‟t say holla
until it was 4 am in the morning to a
grateful, good morning Jesus. She prayed
and thanked God she didn‟t have to go
through traffic that tied wrapper as one
of her bb contacts was always saying,
everyday at about 8pm at night. Cos she
never made it home on time.
She remembered briefly the song that Bebe&
Cece (gospel musicians) serenaded her with
that afternoon at work. That was as
much as a serenade she was going to have
without any payback. The youths of her
generation had twisted minds, most of
them, so every good deed always expected
a payback. It was a total rotten world but

her bestie said, just be tough a little, not
too much.
O maybe she‟s get it right tomorrow, she
sure didn‟t today. Her supervisor told her
she wasn‟t friendly enough, sometimes she
wondered, if he meant she should pretend
to be friendly. Really this world did not
deserve her heart of gold. She didn‟t want
to change it so much either because God
was pleased with it this way.
***
She was feeling a headache thingy and it
was no one‟s fault but hers, she had been
confessing a headache for days thinking
she was an American. Well she had it. It was
strength and a weakness, whatever was
before her eyes or anything she heard
became her present hour reality. She had
spent two weeks meditating on the wrong
stuff and so the results she was getting she
could not complain about. How did it feel
to be surrounded by enemies? She didn‟t
have to wonder, it was something she lived
with every day. Many times she just wanted
to leave of her own accord so that
everyone could continue living by sight
and declaring what they did not believe.
Until you believe a thing, life is meaningless.

She believed in Jesus Christ and this was her
choice, she wasn‟t going to change it for
anyone. It was really annoying, fighting a
battle that wasn‟t necessary. Everything
was a mess of a battle, sometimes she
wondered if any worth it- minister was
going to visit her church again, she hadn‟t
heard any word of life in ages. She had
grown up learning the ways of the
kingdom, life lived in any other way was
frustrating. But in this she saw the truth,
that narrow is the way that leads to
eternal life and few there be which find it.
By the grace of God, she had found her
way to Jesus and to live the way He called
to. She hadn‟t mastered walking in love
but she was still on the journey. She didn‟t
spend the precious time she could stay in
the word, judging others, at least she
tried not to.

Do you know that it is possible to get lost
while working in a church? If you did not
KNOW that the word of God is the final
arbiter, you would get so lost that it
would be difficult finding you again.
Just the other day, a guy who had been a
pastor‟s assistant got in touch with her

and told her his issues, she had no
concrete answers for him, other than
that he hold on to God. The boy/manwas
on the brink of losing his faith inn God.
Maybe because his faith wasn‟t in God so
much as it was in his pastor. That young
man was messing with enthusiasm. It
underlined one fact to her, that only by
the anointing resting on you can you
solve the issues of man. It is God who solves
the issues of man, in order that you don‟t
destroy anyone, you must be putting your
trust in Jesus every day.

She needed to talk to her sister right now.
she did not want to carry anyone‟s load,
she was not in the mood to carry anyone‟s
issues, she wasn‟t that nice. Carrying the
load of another, go read in the bible, that
is the sole responsibility of Jesus Christ, he
says come unto me all ye who are weary…
only Jesus can handle weary people. He has
a PHD in handling weary people. people with
messes and baggage, He handles them good.
Everyone else will get tired because human
strength wasn‟t created for carrying
baggage. Holy Spirit, help me understand
that I can‟t carry another‟s load and I

shouldn‟t try, instead, I should trust you
with the baggage of others and be satisfied
with giving a word that would direct
their heart to you.

***
Saturday, any time I start my day full of joy,
there‟s always one person or the other
who wants to intrude and bring to your
notice their opinion or their advice
wanted/unwanted. Why can‟t they just
understand that sometimes you just want
to be heard and other times you want to
be. Some people can pick at you so much
with their thoughts and judgmental
attitudes when they don‟t have anything
better to offer. They just want to tell you
how to wear your own shoes. They should
be busy with their shoes but your own shoes
kind of look better to wear. They can tell
you all kinds of ways to wear your shoes.
Those kinds of people were the most tiring.
Another kind of people were the ones who
were born again but only knew how to
live judgmental, they picked at every and
any one, no one was good enough for
them, they had this imaginary standard
that everyone had reach or be condemned

to hell, a hell of their own making no
doubt. She heard about the fight that
happened in the office when she wasn‟t
around. One guy accused the other of his
salvation not being complete; he became
literally a raving lunatic. He was spitting
accusations at the other guy.
Why? Same old story. He was wondering
why God had given sonship to this former
bad boy and he hadn‟t graced him, a
former good boy, I don‟t even know how
true that is; with sonship. That is simply
because sonship is not for sale. Sonship is the
prerogative of the father, he gives it to
whom He chooses and you can‟t earn it
either. Kinda of like a call! This former bad
boy is anointed and I can bear him witness,
because I knew him when he was a kid and
all of the things he got up to and I know
that he has been touched by God. Maybe
because I have sonship too so I know that
he does too. In bible circles, it is said that
the people who know you are the ones who
don‟t believe in your calling because of the
familiarity. Well, maybe cos I am called, it is
easy to believe in another‟s calling. I just
don‟t know what I have been called to do.

I also didn‟t have any idea that I would
have so many adversaries, it is scary.
It is easy to almost give in to fear but if
David could have God waging war on his
behalf and preserving his throne, so can i. I
believe in the God of my salvation or like I
said this morning, I believe in my Father who
stood up to have mercy on me, when I had
been calling on Him for nine years. What
stops me from having faith in Him after I
have come so far?
Well, yeah, you got it; I am having faith in my
father.

I can be so temperamental, yeah I met with
the boyfriend possibility and he‟s laid out
his plan, he wants to get married, so do I, it
is just that I do not want to get married
to him, that would be murder/suicide,
literally a disaster. The longer I take to
tell him I aint interested, the more stressful
it would be right, right! I knew I wasn‟t
interested the moment he met me, my bff
said, give guys a chance and so I did. This
guy said all the right things but something
inside me was just dead, it didn‟t respond.
Ever since I got born again, when I want to
do something, my spirit responds, this time

my spirit was just dead inside, no response.
So I know that if I married this guy I would
become spiritually dead. Right now, I feel
like I am in a coma spiritually so what
difference would it make? I am disobeying
my soul.

***
Another day, another naira, am I deceiving
myself? I am surrounded by enemies. I feel
like David in the bible. Just a note to self, I
am so not interested in the David in my
office and I refuse to steer clear of the
topic of the „David‟ in the bible just because
of him. He is so unimaginative, he would
stifle me. I would disappear, yeah, I know
there‟s more to marriage but I don‟t fit the
textbook, I never have, plus I have my
parent‟s marriage as a reminder that the
end does not justify the mean. I got a new
one today; I owe my kids a good dad. Yeah,
that sounds right.
So I am still interviewing prospects but I
wonder if mr right might not slip by while I
am busy interviewing prospects because my
spirit tells me that I would know mr right
immediately I see him. For my sisters sake and
my various bff‟s I have to keep interviewing

them. I am also going to have to be
downright nasty to some brothers in
church even though they are giving me a
nasty reputation, but if “I no do, I no do”.
(Pidgin of „not interested‟).
O Holy Spirit, I need some inspiration, I need
your help badly because I feel like my
environment is draining me of inspiration. I
just want you to kill him so that I would
have a rest, he keeps pulling me from inside
and I have no doubt that this is not godly,
why doesn‟t he expend his energy pulling
on God and not man. Honestly I have no
idea why men believe on what they see
rather than on God? I believe in the
almighty God because of my pastor who
happens to be a man in every sense of the
world and confident too. This
environment is driving me crazy and all I
want to do is leave.
I don‟t feel relationship any longer but I
am having faith that Jesus hears me every
day and that He loves me dearly, that
doesn‟t change.
I think all great people get gossiped about
and so I am going to live with it. They are
trying to break me from inside. At least I
know that my family are safe where they

are, and the only way for me to win is to
fix my eyes on Jesus in spite on what is going
on outside.
I always thought people would be happy to
hear a prophecy but these ones weren‟t
expecting the prophecy, it was like a death
knell and they fought against it with all
they had. Honestly I didn‟t believe in the
prophecy one way or another, I took the
part that concerned me and my family,
ministry, who gives a hoot? I enjoy
preaching the gospel but this dog-eat-dog
character where I cannot wait to tear
down another soul, I am so not down with
it. I am laughing but neither my eyes nor my
teeth are laughing, I can‟t wait to tear you
down so I can become what I want to wait.
Wait a minute; I will become what God has
called me to be no matter your schemes. It‟s
called destiny.

***

***
She was feverish all through Monday and
Tuesday, it was frustrating and annoying
only to get to work on Wednesday and

they (the management) were frustrating
her with office protocol. She was pissed
angry at the protocol. Why couldn‟t they
just trust that she was telling the truth? A
faith based organization for that matter.
She had just endured a stressful weekend
so she didn‟t mind slowing down during
the week.
Back in the office and to her suspicious
mind, everyone is acting up. Sometimes she
didn‟t think she belonged in this world. She
did things because it was the right thing to
do or it was what she wanted to do. Most
people did things because they were
thinking of what it could get them in the
nearest future.
Was she praying recently? No. was she
getting the right zings now that she
wasn‟t praying? Yes. Was it impressing her?
No. she had waited so long that any nice
thing she got now wasn‟t a big deal. She
didn‟t need convincing to know that God
is good. She had already gotten that
through the years that she had lived as a
Christian.
Did she have a challenge as a Christian? O
Yes. So many! But her main challenge was
still the one she had always had. How do

you know what anyone is really thinking?
How do you know that peeps are not with
you for the things that they think they are
going to gain? How do you know your bff
is not your friend because of how it will
benefit her? How do you know that she‟s
not betraying you? How do you know that
she does not gossip about you? Well you
must have guessed it. I had a bff who proved
not to be true after all. It is not a great
loss because I had already been expecting
her nonsense. From my tone, you should
know that I cared about her, she was my
best friend at one time, after a while
though, there was no honesty between us,
the transparency was missing and the
friendship wasn‟t worth it anymore.

I used to miss her but she is no longer the
person she used to be, the smile has gone
out of her, the light in her eyes has gone
out, she is no longer happy. She told me she
was getting hooked soon, and I am happy
for her and worried at the same time
because she is settling for someone she
doesn‟t feel anything for. I mean, you
should feel friendship, platonic friendship
ever before the sex-thing, you should feel

comfortable but she feels nothing, she just
knows that she‟s getting married. She‟s
pretty and all that, so any guy should be
happy to be getting married to her. I think
she‟s selling herself short but she‟s so
distant now, I don‟t think my advice
would mean anything. I think I will pray
for her sha!
See. I still love her. She‟s just not my friend
any longer. I have never been married but I
know that at least after 3 months, you
wake up to real life. I might just text her
about it, she would have more things to
gossip to her brother about me. It‟s not my
fault really, she trusted that the wolves
were her friends over me and when they
were done feasting on her carcass, they
didn‟t wait to crack the bones.
I discovered how to cope with their
bullshit, you walk in love like crazy or
you would lose out and become like the
wolves and then you would be no good to
God or to yourself. There would be no
point to the Christianity because you
would be wondering what kind of life you
were living anyway because it would bear
no resemblance to Christianity.

Another day at work, what did she
accomplish? The regular! She hadn‟t
accomplished anything spectacular today.
It was as usual. This wasn‟t the idea God had
for her, God had a plan where every day
would be special.

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