This document discusses communication in romantic relationships. It explores gender differences in communication styles known as "genderlect", relational dialectics theory about tensions that exist in relationships, and the importance of nonverbal communication like touch. The key findings are that men and women communicate differently, with women using rapport talk and men using report talk, relationships require balancing needs for intimacy vs independence, and nonverbal cues can strengthen understanding between partners or indicate relationship dissatisfaction. Effective communication between couples is important for navigating these dynamics.
In this paper, I researched how aspects of personality can influence behavior; the specific example here is infidelity. I synthesized the data of multiple experiences to create a personality profile of a person who is more likely to cheat on a romantic partner than the "average" person.
In this paper, I researched how aspects of personality can influence behavior; the specific example here is infidelity. I synthesized the data of multiple experiences to create a personality profile of a person who is more likely to cheat on a romantic partner than the "average" person.
Islamic banking in Germany: opportunities and potential aspectsIslam Elaziz
The purpose of this thesis is to examine the German market and to investigate
whether it is potential for Islamic banking or not. It will further highlight the main
opportunities for the future growth of the business, as well as the main challenges
facing Islamic banks in the country.
Running head MEN AND WOMEN COMMUNICATION STYLES1MEN AND WOM.docxcowinhelen
Running head: MEN AND WOMEN COMMUNICATION STYLES
1
MEN AND WOMEN COMMUNICATION STYLES
2
Men vs. Women’s Communication Styles
Fahad Almuaoweed
Mississippi College
Abstract
Men and Women Communication Styles
In the modern scenario, the communication styles of men and women have been concentrated experimentally. Language specialists have documented these apparent contrasts. The main role of these intensive examinations is not to figure out which informative style is ideal or to inspire others to change totally, however to distinguish contrasts with the end goal of comprehension and adjustment (Hall, J. A. 1995). As men and women better perceive contrasts in communicative styles, they can work to enhance their own particular communication with individuals from the opposite sex. Men and women have special methods for communicating their contemplations and feelings. At home and at the workplace, in marriage and in friendships, these distinctions are promptly clear (Hall, J. A. 1995).
Communication amongst men and women can be viewed as multifaceted communication. Individuals in various societies talk diverse languages. Truth be told, John Gray in his book, Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, recommends that men and women impart in such unique ways that they appear to be from changed planets. There are various general contrasts that describe gender communication. As per Tannen, men and women convey what needs be in various routes and for various reasons. Men utilize communication to look after independence, while women converse with look after closeness. Whether conscious or unconscious, men regularly communicate with build up status from others (Hall, J. A. 1995). Women utilize words to associate themselves inwardly, to express sentiments, or assemble rapport. Men frequently share statistical data points as in a report. Tannen names these informative contrasts "rapport – talk and report – talk."
A primary purpose behind this is framed in childhood by the way relationships create. Girls when making companions with other individuals concentrate on communicating to associate. Thusly, talking is a key part of the procedure. They share mysteries, discuss their experiences, open up about their issues and talk about them. This is vital to their development and development. Young men take an altogether different course to kinship. Their kinships are generally as profound, however unique. Firstly, they have a tendency to make expansive gatherings, and their attention is on their joint exercises, more than on discussion. This distinction in youth prompts to altogether different communication styles when they are adults. As adolescents, their discussions were to a great extent girl-to-girl and boy to-boy, when they now begin to impart man-to-lady this is a noteworthy open door for misconception. Grown-up women now impart fundamentally through exchange, by sharing and talking about feelings, decisions and issues. In any case, as grown-ups a signi ...
Running Head: REALITY FROM ILLUSION
Reality from Illusion
Your Name Here
COM 200
Professor Stiemke
August 4, 2013
Reality from Illusion
Dear Bob and Meggan,
An engagement for any couple can be considered an exciting and blissful milestone. It is also a time when a couple can truly begin to incorporate communication within their own relationship, as well as how they communicate with others. People have different perspectives, values, and traditions that will ultimately help define the new establishment between two people. Typically, couples have already developed their own self concept which has the ability to contribute to the relationship in a positive or negative aspect. Couples develop an illusion of their partner’s differences and do not take the time to understand the reality of the situation. Understanding all expressional elements is essential to ensure communication is implemented effectively to further enhance the relationship.
Learning Outcome #1: Couples have the ability to communicate effectively using the principles of communication, and neither individual is exempt from common misconceptions.
Researchers Paul Watzalawick, Janet Beavin, and Don D. Jackson created a model that focused on the principles of interpersonal communication. According to the communication model created by Watzalwick, Beavin, and Jackson (1967), it demonstrates how communication is expressed through all elements within a message and how it is applied to the people involved in the relationship. The model is designed to show the process where both parties in the relationship are a sender and receiver. Both perspectives of communication are considered in the model to help provide a better understanding on the principles in various relationships. Misconceptions in effective communication are also important to consider when communicating. According to Deborah Cameron’s The Myth of Mars and Venus: Do Men and Women Really Speak Different Languages, “the idea that men and women differ fundamentally in the way they use language to communicate is a myth in the everyday sense: a widespread but false belief” (Poole, 2007).
The model describes how “communication is ongoing, whenever we are in the presence of another person, communication is taking place” (Sole, 2011, p. 2.3). Communicating is inevitable and can be expressed verbally or nonverbally. The sender and receiver are both important in the communicating cycle. A person sends a message by a verbal or nonverbal expression and the other person receives the message based on the how the message is presented. The process of communication becomes a cycle because both people will continue to communicate with each other based on the initial approach.
If I were to communicate something to my husband with an attitude, he is going to respond to me with an attitude. If I communicate the same issue to my husband kindly, it is likely he will have a healthier reaction in his response. We both have .
How Women Relationship Works:I can provide general information about relationships between women and offer some insights based on research and observations. However, it's important to keep in mind that every relationship is unique and individual experiences can vary widely.
Discuss the role of self-disclosure in the development of intimahuttenangela
Discuss the role of self-disclosure in the development of intimacy.
Criteria/ 300 Level Forum Rubric
Possible Points
Student Points
Initial post
Analyzed the question(s), fact(s), issue(s), etc. and provided well-reasoned and substantive answers.
20
Supported ideas and responses using appropriate examples and references from texts, professional and/or academic websites, and other references. (All references must be from professional and/or academic sources. Websites such as Wikipedia, about.com, and others such as these are NOT acceptable.)
20
Post meets the 300 word minimum requirement and is free from spelling/grammar errors
10
Timeliness: initial post meets the Wed deadline
10
READING
Introduction
In this lesson, you will learn more about how married couples communicate, negotiate, manage tasks and manage conflict. These are the skills essential to maintaining a relationship and can make or break a relationship. Couples with healthy communication and conflict management are more likely to succeed, both early in their marriage and later when they have their own families. Couples with less functional communication and conflict management abilities are less likely to maintain their relationships.
In the previous lesson, you touched on some of these ideas, as you learned about the tasks of newly married couples. Established couples must continue with many of the same strategies to accomplish similar relationship tasks. Nearly all family tasks require two skills: communication and conflict management. Topics covered include:
· Communication in relationships
· Conversational styles in couples
· Conflict management for married couples
· Marital violence
Communication in Relationships
Communication is essential for negotiating all marital tasks, including establishing a marital identity, defining marital roles and clarifying internal and external boundaries. According to Anderson and Sabatelli (2010, p. 154), “
Communication
can be viewed as a symbolic and transactional process through which we create and share meanings.” Communication includes both verbal conversation and nonverbal signals, like tone, behavior and body language. The symbolic meaning of these various cues is understood by both parties. Each couple must establish their own rules for communication in the relationship, called a private message system —and not the one on Facebook.
Since communication includes a range of nonverbal signals, all behavior within a relationship is a type of communication. It’s impossible not to communicate, although not all communication is healthy. The interactions you have with a partner are types of communication, but so are the things you avoid saying in a relationship.
Basic Constructs of Communication
Communication can be divided into several different constructs. The first of these is the
message
. The second is the
metamessage
, and the final is the
framing
of communication within the couple. Understanding the di ...
Unit Three Interpersonal Communication in ActionEric L. Mor.docxlillie234567
Unit Three: Interpersonal Communication in Action
Eric L. Morgan and Greg G. Armfield
What Is Interpersonal Communication?
Communication between a customer and a salesperson, a doctor and a patient, a mother and a daughter, two partners who are in a fight, two partners who are in love, two friends talking on a park bench who join in conversation with a third friend who stops by and sits down, an e-mail from a soldier to his girlfriend. All these scenarios are examples of interpersonal communication. Scholar Brant Burleson (2010) defines
interpersonal communication
as “a complex, situated social process in which people who have established a communicative relationship exchange messages in an effort to generate shared meanings and accomplish social goals” (p. 151). Burleson (2010) further explains that people form a communicative relationship when “the recipient recognizes the source’s intention to convey an internal state, and the source recognizes the recipient’s intention to interpret” (p. 152).
Burleson’s definition of interpersonal communication has several implications. First, Burleson’s definition is different than traditional definitions in that it does not limit interpersonal communication to that which occurs in a face-to-face relationship or a dyadic context where only two people are present. For example, interpersonal communication still occurs over e-mail and phone, and even the presence of other people does not halt interpersonal communication. Second, interpersonal communication is not always effective. In other words, communicators do not always have shared understanding about the intentions and interpretations of messages. This is what makes the study of interpersonal communication so fascinating. Interpersonal scholars are often interested in studying relationships, not because the communication is so good and harmonious but rather to gain an understanding of a problematic issue in a relationship. To learn more about these problems, scholars can focus their study on certain communication episodes such as conflicts, support messages, influence attempts, or expressions of affection. Third, to be in a communicative relationship does not require that one is in a close, intimate relationship. Interpersonal communication can include the study of public, short-term relationships where the interactants do not know each other well (e.g., a grocery clerk and a customer). However, interpersonal scholars have devoted extraordinary time to studying how people communicate in close, intimate relationships given that such relationships impact our well-being so deeply.
The goal of this chapter is to explore interpersonal communication scholarship in just one type of relationship—the development and maintenance of romantic relationships. Anthropologists and evolutionary psychologists argue that humans have a fundamental need for social connection and are compelled to form romantic pair bonds (Fisher, 1992; Schmitt, 2008). Th.
Islamic banking in Germany: opportunities and potential aspectsIslam Elaziz
The purpose of this thesis is to examine the German market and to investigate
whether it is potential for Islamic banking or not. It will further highlight the main
opportunities for the future growth of the business, as well as the main challenges
facing Islamic banks in the country.
Running head MEN AND WOMEN COMMUNICATION STYLES1MEN AND WOM.docxcowinhelen
Running head: MEN AND WOMEN COMMUNICATION STYLES
1
MEN AND WOMEN COMMUNICATION STYLES
2
Men vs. Women’s Communication Styles
Fahad Almuaoweed
Mississippi College
Abstract
Men and Women Communication Styles
In the modern scenario, the communication styles of men and women have been concentrated experimentally. Language specialists have documented these apparent contrasts. The main role of these intensive examinations is not to figure out which informative style is ideal or to inspire others to change totally, however to distinguish contrasts with the end goal of comprehension and adjustment (Hall, J. A. 1995). As men and women better perceive contrasts in communicative styles, they can work to enhance their own particular communication with individuals from the opposite sex. Men and women have special methods for communicating their contemplations and feelings. At home and at the workplace, in marriage and in friendships, these distinctions are promptly clear (Hall, J. A. 1995).
Communication amongst men and women can be viewed as multifaceted communication. Individuals in various societies talk diverse languages. Truth be told, John Gray in his book, Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, recommends that men and women impart in such unique ways that they appear to be from changed planets. There are various general contrasts that describe gender communication. As per Tannen, men and women convey what needs be in various routes and for various reasons. Men utilize communication to look after independence, while women converse with look after closeness. Whether conscious or unconscious, men regularly communicate with build up status from others (Hall, J. A. 1995). Women utilize words to associate themselves inwardly, to express sentiments, or assemble rapport. Men frequently share statistical data points as in a report. Tannen names these informative contrasts "rapport – talk and report – talk."
A primary purpose behind this is framed in childhood by the way relationships create. Girls when making companions with other individuals concentrate on communicating to associate. Thusly, talking is a key part of the procedure. They share mysteries, discuss their experiences, open up about their issues and talk about them. This is vital to their development and development. Young men take an altogether different course to kinship. Their kinships are generally as profound, however unique. Firstly, they have a tendency to make expansive gatherings, and their attention is on their joint exercises, more than on discussion. This distinction in youth prompts to altogether different communication styles when they are adults. As adolescents, their discussions were to a great extent girl-to-girl and boy to-boy, when they now begin to impart man-to-lady this is a noteworthy open door for misconception. Grown-up women now impart fundamentally through exchange, by sharing and talking about feelings, decisions and issues. In any case, as grown-ups a signi ...
Running Head: REALITY FROM ILLUSION
Reality from Illusion
Your Name Here
COM 200
Professor Stiemke
August 4, 2013
Reality from Illusion
Dear Bob and Meggan,
An engagement for any couple can be considered an exciting and blissful milestone. It is also a time when a couple can truly begin to incorporate communication within their own relationship, as well as how they communicate with others. People have different perspectives, values, and traditions that will ultimately help define the new establishment between two people. Typically, couples have already developed their own self concept which has the ability to contribute to the relationship in a positive or negative aspect. Couples develop an illusion of their partner’s differences and do not take the time to understand the reality of the situation. Understanding all expressional elements is essential to ensure communication is implemented effectively to further enhance the relationship.
Learning Outcome #1: Couples have the ability to communicate effectively using the principles of communication, and neither individual is exempt from common misconceptions.
Researchers Paul Watzalawick, Janet Beavin, and Don D. Jackson created a model that focused on the principles of interpersonal communication. According to the communication model created by Watzalwick, Beavin, and Jackson (1967), it demonstrates how communication is expressed through all elements within a message and how it is applied to the people involved in the relationship. The model is designed to show the process where both parties in the relationship are a sender and receiver. Both perspectives of communication are considered in the model to help provide a better understanding on the principles in various relationships. Misconceptions in effective communication are also important to consider when communicating. According to Deborah Cameron’s The Myth of Mars and Venus: Do Men and Women Really Speak Different Languages, “the idea that men and women differ fundamentally in the way they use language to communicate is a myth in the everyday sense: a widespread but false belief” (Poole, 2007).
The model describes how “communication is ongoing, whenever we are in the presence of another person, communication is taking place” (Sole, 2011, p. 2.3). Communicating is inevitable and can be expressed verbally or nonverbally. The sender and receiver are both important in the communicating cycle. A person sends a message by a verbal or nonverbal expression and the other person receives the message based on the how the message is presented. The process of communication becomes a cycle because both people will continue to communicate with each other based on the initial approach.
If I were to communicate something to my husband with an attitude, he is going to respond to me with an attitude. If I communicate the same issue to my husband kindly, it is likely he will have a healthier reaction in his response. We both have .
How Women Relationship Works:I can provide general information about relationships between women and offer some insights based on research and observations. However, it's important to keep in mind that every relationship is unique and individual experiences can vary widely.
Discuss the role of self-disclosure in the development of intimahuttenangela
Discuss the role of self-disclosure in the development of intimacy.
Criteria/ 300 Level Forum Rubric
Possible Points
Student Points
Initial post
Analyzed the question(s), fact(s), issue(s), etc. and provided well-reasoned and substantive answers.
20
Supported ideas and responses using appropriate examples and references from texts, professional and/or academic websites, and other references. (All references must be from professional and/or academic sources. Websites such as Wikipedia, about.com, and others such as these are NOT acceptable.)
20
Post meets the 300 word minimum requirement and is free from spelling/grammar errors
10
Timeliness: initial post meets the Wed deadline
10
READING
Introduction
In this lesson, you will learn more about how married couples communicate, negotiate, manage tasks and manage conflict. These are the skills essential to maintaining a relationship and can make or break a relationship. Couples with healthy communication and conflict management are more likely to succeed, both early in their marriage and later when they have their own families. Couples with less functional communication and conflict management abilities are less likely to maintain their relationships.
In the previous lesson, you touched on some of these ideas, as you learned about the tasks of newly married couples. Established couples must continue with many of the same strategies to accomplish similar relationship tasks. Nearly all family tasks require two skills: communication and conflict management. Topics covered include:
· Communication in relationships
· Conversational styles in couples
· Conflict management for married couples
· Marital violence
Communication in Relationships
Communication is essential for negotiating all marital tasks, including establishing a marital identity, defining marital roles and clarifying internal and external boundaries. According to Anderson and Sabatelli (2010, p. 154), “
Communication
can be viewed as a symbolic and transactional process through which we create and share meanings.” Communication includes both verbal conversation and nonverbal signals, like tone, behavior and body language. The symbolic meaning of these various cues is understood by both parties. Each couple must establish their own rules for communication in the relationship, called a private message system —and not the one on Facebook.
Since communication includes a range of nonverbal signals, all behavior within a relationship is a type of communication. It’s impossible not to communicate, although not all communication is healthy. The interactions you have with a partner are types of communication, but so are the things you avoid saying in a relationship.
Basic Constructs of Communication
Communication can be divided into several different constructs. The first of these is the
message
. The second is the
metamessage
, and the final is the
framing
of communication within the couple. Understanding the di ...
Unit Three Interpersonal Communication in ActionEric L. Mor.docxlillie234567
Unit Three: Interpersonal Communication in Action
Eric L. Morgan and Greg G. Armfield
What Is Interpersonal Communication?
Communication between a customer and a salesperson, a doctor and a patient, a mother and a daughter, two partners who are in a fight, two partners who are in love, two friends talking on a park bench who join in conversation with a third friend who stops by and sits down, an e-mail from a soldier to his girlfriend. All these scenarios are examples of interpersonal communication. Scholar Brant Burleson (2010) defines
interpersonal communication
as “a complex, situated social process in which people who have established a communicative relationship exchange messages in an effort to generate shared meanings and accomplish social goals” (p. 151). Burleson (2010) further explains that people form a communicative relationship when “the recipient recognizes the source’s intention to convey an internal state, and the source recognizes the recipient’s intention to interpret” (p. 152).
Burleson’s definition of interpersonal communication has several implications. First, Burleson’s definition is different than traditional definitions in that it does not limit interpersonal communication to that which occurs in a face-to-face relationship or a dyadic context where only two people are present. For example, interpersonal communication still occurs over e-mail and phone, and even the presence of other people does not halt interpersonal communication. Second, interpersonal communication is not always effective. In other words, communicators do not always have shared understanding about the intentions and interpretations of messages. This is what makes the study of interpersonal communication so fascinating. Interpersonal scholars are often interested in studying relationships, not because the communication is so good and harmonious but rather to gain an understanding of a problematic issue in a relationship. To learn more about these problems, scholars can focus their study on certain communication episodes such as conflicts, support messages, influence attempts, or expressions of affection. Third, to be in a communicative relationship does not require that one is in a close, intimate relationship. Interpersonal communication can include the study of public, short-term relationships where the interactants do not know each other well (e.g., a grocery clerk and a customer). However, interpersonal scholars have devoted extraordinary time to studying how people communicate in close, intimate relationships given that such relationships impact our well-being so deeply.
The goal of this chapter is to explore interpersonal communication scholarship in just one type of relationship—the development and maintenance of romantic relationships. Anthropologists and evolutionary psychologists argue that humans have a fundamental need for social connection and are compelled to form romantic pair bonds (Fisher, 1992; Schmitt, 2008). Th.
Running head EFFECTS OF COMMUNICATION ON MARITAL SATISFACTION.docxtodd271
Running head: EFFECTS OF COMMUNICATION ON MARITAL SATISFACTION 1
The Effects of Communication Styles on Marital Satisfaction
Hannah Yager
University of West Florida
EFFECTS OF COMMUNICATION ON MARITAL SATISFACTION 2
Abstract
The differences in communication styles between men and women have been a
topic of interest in the research world for many years. These differences may lead to
miscommunication, conflict, and even dissatisfaction between couples. This study
analyzes the communication styles among genders, more specifically among married
couples. It questions how differences in communication styles between married couples
married five years or less affect marital satisfaction. The study will be conducted
through the use of an interaction analysis. Its goal is to increase the amount of
knowledge regarding effective communication and how it relates to marital satisfaction
in order to ultimately aid in the rise of marital satisfaction and the decrease of the
divorce rate in the United States.
EFFECTS OF COMMUNICATION ON MARITAL SATISFACTION 3
Today, divorce has become a very common part of life, and it is likely that
ineffective communication plays a crucial role in the failure of many marriages.
Communication may lead to the success of a marriage or to its detriment, depending on
its level of effectiveness. This effectiveness of communication is likely connected to the
overall satisfaction of married couples and is worthy to be studied in order to increase
marital satisfaction.
Learning more about the differences in communication styles between men and
women will aid in the more successful sending and receiving of messages, both verbal
and nonverbal. For example, a woman may communicate in a way that has meaning to
her. However, the man receiving the message may interpret it differently than she
intended due to their differences in communication style. This can cause conflict and
lead to further problems in the relationship. However, if the man decoding the message
were familiar with his wife’s style of communication, he may have interpreted it properly
therefore avoiding a conflict situation. The reverse, when men are communicating to
women, is also true. Husbands and wives are interdependent, and their level of
commitment and desire to maintain a healthy relationship often depends on the other
person (Weigel & Ballard-Reisch, 2008).
Conventional wisdom says that there is no such thing as lack of communication.
A person always communicates something, whether intentional or not. Becoming more
aware of how one’s own self communicates will also aid in more healthy communication
between spouses.
This literature review will discuss nonverbal communication styles, including
flirtation, and conflict communication, including communicated perspective-taking.
EFFECTS OF COMMUNICATION ON MARITAL SATISFACTION 4
This study will further advance commun.
Interpersonal relationship For B.sc & M.sc StudentsTarun bali
This PPT is about interpersonal relationship. This PPT is suitable for B.sc, M.sc Nursing students. I have covered definition of interpersonal relationship, Purpose of interpersonal relationship, Types of interpersonal relationship, Barriers of interpersonal relationship and Techniques to improve the interpersonal relationship.
Overheard from a student before class I’ve had it with all this c.docxgerardkortney
Overheard from a student before class: I’ve had it with all this cultural diversity and gender stuff. It seems like every textbook in every class is obsessed with it. My music appreciation class is trying to force the music of other cultures down my throat. What’s wrong with Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms? In English lit, all we’re reading is stuff by people from different countries. And it seems my history prof talks only about obscure people I’ve never heard of before. I’m tired of all this politically correct nonsense. I mean, we’re all Americans, aren’t we? We’re not going off to live in Africa, China, or India. Why don’t they just teach us what we need to know and cut all this diversity garbage? Have you heard this kind of sentiment expressed before? Perhaps you’ve encountered such a “diversity backlash” among some of your classmates, or you may harbor this attitude yourself. Some people may find it unsettling that school curricula and textbooks have increased their focus on issues of culture and gender differences. But these changes are not motivated by an irrational desire to be politically correct. We’ll see in this chapter that they are taking place because diversity is increasing in the United States and many other parts of the world. School textbooks and courses are reflecting the change, not initiating it. To live comfortably in the 21st century, we must learn ways to appreciate and understand human differences rather than ignore them, suffer because of them, or wish they would disappear. One of life’s unprofound principles with profound implications for human communication is this: We each have different backgrounds and experiences.1 Your employers, teachers, religious leaders, best friends, or romantic partners may have grown up with cultural traditions different from your own. And the not-so-startling fact that people are different from one another provides the context for discussion of our final Communication Principle for a Lifetime: Effective communicators appropriately adapt their messages to others. Figure 6.1 presents our now-familiar model, which includes this final principle of appropriately adapting messages to others. Figure 6.1 Communication Principles for a Lifetime We introduce this principle last because often people learn how to adapt only after they have learned the other communication principles. Being able to adapt to others requires a relatively sophisticated understanding of the communication process. The ability to adapt suggests that you already have a sense of who you are and a consciousness of the presence of others—self-awareness and other-awareness, the components of the first principle we presented.2 Studies in developmental communication suggest that the ability to appropriately adapt our behavior to others evolves after we have become aware that there is a “me,” after we have learned to use verbal and nonverbal symbols to communicate, and after we have developed an ability to hear and listen to others,.
[Carey m. noland]_sex_talk_the_role_of_communicat(book4_you)
Final Theory Paper
1. The Study of Communication in Relationships 1
The Study of Communication in Romance: The Key to a Successful Relationship
Winona State University
2. The Study of Communication in Relationships 2
Communication in Romance: The Key to a Successful Relationship
A romantic relationship is like a garden. They can both grow, wildly and rapidly and
consist of different species and, of course, some weeds. From time to time, the weeds must be
pruned and maintained. The weeds of a relationship will sprout over time as a couple becomes
more acquainted and comfortable with each other. Bothersome habits, jealousy, boredom, and
anger can discourage a couple from staying together, especially if there is a lack of time and
emotional investment. On the contrary, if a couple is committed to stay together, their
relationship can be managedwith a proper balance of interaction and the willingness to
understand differing communication. This paper will define what a relationship is, it will then
look at the study ofGenderlect styles of men and women, and finally it will examineRelational
Dialects Theory as it is applied to relationships. It will answer the question: how can a couple
strengthen their relationship by reinforcing their verbal and nonverbal communication?
Romantic relationships can provide an important step in a person’s life. They can be very
rewarding or a discouraging experience, depending on the level of enjoyment and happiness
generated throughout a couple’s time together. Aside from happiness why do people decide to
embark on a romantic journey? It can be as simple as needing to fulfill emotional and physical
needs that are unattainable by anyone else. The ultimate goal of romantic relationships is love,
which can be subjective. In a perfect world a relationship between a boyfriend and girlfriend
would be exclusive and trustworthy. Good communication between a couple can amplify the
chances of this happening, which is a contributing factor as to why the study of communication
between boyfriends and girlfriends in a romantic relationship is beneficial and worth exploring.
3. The Study of Communication in Relationships 3
An old adage claims, “men are from Mars, women are from Venus.” To fully understand the
nature of this saying in relation to communication of men and women, one may seek advice from
Tannen’s(1984) study of Genderlect styles in which she deciphers the differences in the
conversational styles of men and women. Tannen believes that men and women speak “different
words from different worlds” and has adopted the term “Genderlect” to explain that the
masculine and feminine styles of speech should be viewed as two different, but worthy, ways of
speaking. Females tend to speak in rapport talk during conversation, which fulfills their desire to
create a connection whereas men, whoare more interested in establishing their status and power
in a conversation, speak in report talk in order to command attention and win arguments. Men
use talking as a platform in which to hoist themselves above their conversational counterpart.
They tend to tell compelling jokes and stories that are meant to one up the audience, while
women tell stories about other people in order to demonstrate her unselfishness thereby
strengthening her sense of community. When women become the audience rather than the
storyteller, they hold eye contact with the speaker, nod, or interject with a cooperative overlap,
which is an interruption meant to communicate solidarity, it is used as a way to signify
understanding or invest confidence in the speaker. Because men are concerned with asserting and
retaining their power, they steer clear of signals that convey concurrence.
Genderlect styles provide insight into how men and women communicate in different
ways.They should be viewed as two different but equal ways of speaking, rather than masculine
talk being superior and feminine talk being inferior. Acquiring this knowledge can be very
beneficial in the prolonging of a successful and loving relationship. A woman’s desire for human
connection is fulfilled when she starts a relationship, however when it’s met with a man’s
competitive nature, there is bound to be conflict. While men tend to delight in competition, they
4. The Study of Communication in Relationships 4
may find this communication conflict less discouraging than their female counterparts who wish
to resolve any problem. Consequently, Tannenbelieves that both men and women need to learn
to communicate in the other’s voice. She recommends that men take a dose of sensitivity in order
to effectively communicate with their girlfriends, while girlfriends try to be more assertive when
communicating with their boyfriends. When women express turmoil they are experiencing to
their boyfriends, it would be more beneficial for their boyfriends to listen and convey an
understanding rather than try and provide solutions. Showing agreement enhances the woman’s
desire for human connection. Because men wish to establish their dominance in any situation,
their significant other should refrain from telling them to do things, like running errands, as this
will compromise the male’s status and relational strain may ensue. Learning mutual
understanding will allow the two sexes togradually bridge the cross-cultural communication gap
and continue to find happiness their relationship.
Genderlect theory provides great insight in the ongoing mystery of the different
communication styles of men and women;however it does provide some implications. Tannen
does not seem to take into consideration that there is greater difference among the sexes than
between them.By categorizing the Genderlect styles of men and women, Tannen is essentially
inferring that all members of the two genders communicate the same way. She has not taken into
consideration the ways feminine men and masculine women communicate and solutions to these
gender departure inconsistencies. It is important to remember that sex is biological and gender is
socially constructed. Because of this, gender is evolving into blurred categories that now
encompass transgender, transsexual, drag king and queen, as well as many others. Tannen will
have to revise her theory and take all gender communication styles into consideration. There are
foreseeable problems that may occur if a couple were toadhere to her theory and built a
5. The Study of Communication in Relationships 5
relationship on these ideas.It is unknown if the benefits would outweigh the problems, however it
is never wise to invest one’s life blindly to an abstract theory about something subjective as love.
Like a game of tug-of-war, there are constant pushes and pulls between individuals who are
trying to communicate and build a relationship with each other. Baxter and Montgomery are
theorists who research the tensions within relationships, called Relational Dialects
(1988).According to Baxter and Montgomery, conflicts are common in all relationships;
however an absence of them may cause a relationship to suffer. Although they can be
disheartening, these women agree that discussing paradoxes within a relationship may sustain it
but not bring the relationship back to its original state. Baxter and Montgomery pinpoint three
conflicts that affect relationships internally and externally, and they are: integration-separation,
stability-change, and expression-nonexpression. All dialectics must function as the yin and yang
in the relationships, for without a balance of both needs, the relationship will fail due to an
excess of conflicts. It is important for those in a relationship to remember if one side wins, the
whole relationship loses.
Integration and separation is what Baxter regards as the most central dialectic to
relationship development.It is the conflict between connectedness-separateness and inclusion-
seclusion. Meet Genevieve and Owen, two seniors in college who are in an exclusive romantic
relationship. While they both love spending time with each other, Owen wishes to spend every
free time he has with Genevieve, and Genevieve likes to have her own space occasionally when
she has a moment to spare. Genevieve must explain to Owen in a tactful way that, to his dismay,
she is unable to spend every moment with him. As stated before there are internal and external
dialectics a couple must deal with, in which the tensions must be balanced within the relationship
as well as between the couple and its community. Genevieve and Owen will have to find a way
6. The Study of Communication in Relationships 6
to balance their dilemma between inclusion and seclusion with their outside world and
themselves.
The Relational Dialectic class that includes certainty-uncertainty within a relationship
and conventionality-uniqueness between a couple and society is stability and change. Like most
relationships, Genevieve and Owen have reached a point in their relationship where they have
grown tired of the same redundant activities, and desire more excitement. They must find a
happy medium in which to incorporate new and interesting activities with predictability.
Externally, it is easy for a couple to conform to social norms and incorporate relational patterns
that they have observed as being successful for other couples,additionally they must also
encompass and essence of unconventionality that will their relationship unique. This can be done
through spontaneity, inside jokes,interesting dates or trips or sexual intimacy.
The final Relational Dialectic recognized by Baxter and Montgomery is expression and
nonexpression. This dialectic includes openness and closedness, which is the tension that
requires a couple to maintain an equal amount of intimacy and privacy between and surrounding
the couple. Genevieve sustains a high level of self-disclosure with her boyfriend, while Owen
chooses to disclose less and less information about his life and feelings as their relationship
continues to evolve. While this undoubtedly irritates Genevieve, Owen’s amount of discretion is
necessary. Outside of their relationship the couple must figure out how to express to their peers
the dynamic of their relationship, while withholding personal and sacred information.
Baxter and Montgomery provide two solutions when dealing with contradictions. The
most commonly used is spiraling inversion, which contends that a couple alternates between the
contrasting poles by responding first to one dialectical pull, and then another. For example,
Genevieve and Owen can resolve their problem relating to integration and separation by agreeing
7. The Study of Communication in Relationships 7
that every other night when they are free they will devote to the other person, that way
Genevieve can have her alone time while Owen can still retain the closeness he desires.
Segmentation is the other compromising practice when dealing with the negotiation of tensions.
In enacting segmentation, a couple privileges different aspects of their relationship. If Gen and
Owen were to use segmentation to solve their Relational Dialectic dilemma, they could choose to
disclose information about the progress of their relationship with family members, while
withholding information about their sexual escapades. The couple is sharing information,
without disclosing intimate details. Both spiraling inversion and segmentation are different ways
of solving the strains of relationships, but in different ways.
The idea of the constant pulls and tugs that surround relationships is the basis of the
Relation Dialectic Theory posed by Baxter and Montgomery. It makes sense that the three
dialectics provided are needed in a relationship, but because they are tailored to something as
unique as a relationship, it is hard to make generalizations. Instead of providing accurate advice
for all relationships, it requires a more heuristic approach involving trial and error.
The power of verbal communication is clearly important between boyfriends and
girlfriends. It is a vital way for two people to form a bond. Genderlect styles and Relational
Dialects are rooted firmly in verbal communication and used to further a relationship, however
nonverbal communication is equally important. Facial expressions, hand gestures and sensual
touch are all examples of nonverbal communication that are beneficial to a relationship. This
kind of communication is a heightened level of intimacy betweencouples and continues to raise
awareness of one’s emotions.
As a boyfriend and girlfriend allow themselves to become more acquainted with each
other through mutual disclosure of personal information, they will become more intimate with
8. The Study of Communication in Relationships 8
each other nonverbally and a physical relationship will emerge. Prinsen and Punyanunt-Carter
(2009) conducted a study of nonverbal behaviors at different stages of relationships, which
revealed that body language, facial expression, eye contact and touch are synonymous with
verbal communication, and may even affect the way the couple talks with each other. The
researchers questioned one hundred forty-five college students and asked them to describe their
nonverbal communication in their romantic relationships. The stages of relationships varied from
student to student and ranged from casual dating, exclusively dating, long term relationship,
cohabitation while in a long-term relationship and marriage. Each of these stages have
expectations regarding how a couple should interact nonverbally with each other and what their
body language should be like while existing in that stage. The results of the study found that at
every stage of a relationship, as individuals become more familiar with each other, they tend to
touch one another more, laugh more, smile more, and stare more. The couples were also more
nonverbally expressive than those couples that were not at such an intimate level. However, the
frequency of positive body language decreases in couples when the satisfaction of the
relationship decreases. So, the amount of time spent in a relationship does not always coincide
with that amount of satisfaction. This will briefly be revisited in the next paragraph when
discussing the amount of touch initiated by males and females after marriage.
Like Genderlect styles, the research done by Prinsen and Punyanunt-Carter showed a
difference in the way men and women communicate nonverbally through touch. Women tend to
react less positively toward the touch of the opposite sexthan men do, but have a better reaction
to touch overall, than men. A study conducted by Briggs and Willis (1992) measured the
likelihood of men initiating touch before marriage compared to women. It was found that men
tend to initiate touch with their girlfriends more so before marriage and the year following while
9. The Study of Communication in Relationships 9
women instigate it more frequently after a year of marriage. Some couples involved in the
research revealed that after they got married, the amount of touch dwindled down to no contact
at all. This could be a sign of trouble in a relationship. A study done by Beier and Sternberg
(1977) in which they interviewed couples to see if the amount of touch reflected on the
frequency of disagreement or agreement within the relationshipconcluded that couples who
disagreed the least touched each other more. It would be interesting to research if the amount of
touch equals agreement and happiness or vice versa.
For the married couples where the females initiated touching, it was hypothesized that
women use this type of nonverbal communication to preserve the bond with their husbands.
Women perceive touch as expressing warmth, exclusiveness and love where on the other hand,
men viewed touch to have an affectionate and sexual meaning. (Richmond, McCroskey and
Payne, 1991)Because of this data, Willis and Briggs believe the amount of touch initiated by
men decreases after marriage because prior to this they were noncommittal and used touch as a
way to secure sex. After marriage the need to secure sex decreases.
The research done surrounding nonverbal communication, mainly touch,
demonstrateshow submerged in meaning nonverbal communication is. A couple can strengthen
their relationship using nonverbal communication by tuning into what one another are expressing
without words. Both boyfriends and girlfriends should take the other’s facial expressions into
consideration. The more they see their lover smiling and laughing, the better. A couple can use
nonverbal communication to segue into effective verbal communication. When a boyfriend
detects his girlfriend’s glares or eye rolls, which signify irritability or hurt feelings, he would be
able to take these observations and create a dialogue on how to fix the situation (while being
10. The Study of Communication in Relationships 10
mindful of Genderlect solutions in order to effectively communicate with each other while
resolving conflict, of course!)
Relationships are not always a bed of roses, however if a couple uses verbal and nonverbal
communication effectively they can get rid of the thorns that prevent their relationship from
evolving. With the knowledge Genderlect styles and Relational Dialectics, boyfriends and
girlfriends are more likely to understand each other. They will also be able to maintain conflicts
better, which are sure to arise as they become more acquainted. Being aware of these theories
will increase the likelihood that a boyfriend and girlfriend’s romantic relationship will come up
roses!
11. The Study of Communication in Relationships 11
Bibliography
Baxter, L.A. & Ebert, L.A. (1999). Perceptions of dialectical contractions in turning points of
development in heterosexual romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal
Relationships.16(5), 547-569.
Beier, E.G. & Sternberg, D.P (1977). Marital communication: Subtle cues between newlyweds.
Journal of Communication, 27, 92-103.
Briggs, L.F. & Willis, F.N. Jr. (1992). Relationship and touch in public settings. Journal of
Nonverbal Behavior, 16, 55-63.
Lusk, Holly Michelle, “A Study of Dialectical Theory and its Relation to Interpersonal
Relationships” (2008). University of Tennessee Honors Thesis Projects.
http://trace.tennessee.edu/utk_chhanhonoproj/1206
Johnson, K.L. & Edwards, R. (1991). The effects of gender and type of romantic touch on
perceptions of relational commitment. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 15, 43-55.
Prinsen, T. &Punyanunt-Carter N.M. (2009). The differences in nonverbal behaviors and how
it changes in different stages of a relationship. Texas Speech Communication Journal, 1-7.
Richmond, V.P, McCroskey, J.C., & Payne, S.K. (1991). Nonverbal behavior in interpersonal relations,
Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.