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Exposition Moderation 14/2/11
Sacha
WAlT:We are assessing our skills in writing an exposition.

“Should Greytown School be offering extra curricula activities such as
music, dance, drama and sport?”

Greytown school should not be offering any extra activities because the
kids at greytown school already have there learning that they need to learn
to help them have a good career.

Some of the kids will want to have the extra activities but other kids don’t
and that would be unfair and the school would have to pay more money.
The teachers would have to go out of the class to help kids learn how to
dance play sport and the other stuff, when they should be in the class room
teaching the kids how to read, write, spell and maths which kids need to
know how to do when they get older to find a job.

We have the laptops which helps us kids learn better, but if we started
having those extra activities then we wouldn’t need the laptops noany more
and that would suck because most kids would prefer laptops than the extra
activities. And laptops are fun to use.

Our parents would rather have us inside the class room learning how to
write, read, spell and maths then having the other extra activities such as
dance, sport, music and drama.

The school already does enough fun things and we don’t need any more
things or school would get boring and kids might not came to school.
Good effort Sacha, I like your ideas.
Next Steps: I’d like you to focus on grammar and writing your conclusion.
3A

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Expostion writing correct

  • 1. Exposition Moderation 14/2/11 Sacha WAlT:We are assessing our skills in writing an exposition. “Should Greytown School be offering extra curricula activities such as music, dance, drama and sport?” Greytown school should not be offering any extra activities because the kids at greytown school already have there learning that they need to learn to help them have a good career. Some of the kids will want to have the extra activities but other kids don’t and that would be unfair and the school would have to pay more money. The teachers would have to go out of the class to help kids learn how to dance play sport and the other stuff, when they should be in the class room teaching the kids how to read, write, spell and maths which kids need to know how to do when they get older to find a job. We have the laptops which helps us kids learn better, but if we started having those extra activities then we wouldn’t need the laptops noany more
  • 2. and that would suck because most kids would prefer laptops than the extra activities. And laptops are fun to use. Our parents would rather have us inside the class room learning how to write, read, spell and maths then having the other extra activities such as dance, sport, music and drama. The school already does enough fun things and we don’t need any more things or school would get boring and kids might not came to school. Good effort Sacha, I like your ideas. Next Steps: I’d like you to focus on grammar and writing your conclusion. 3A