Evolve

Evolve
For A Life Less Ordinary
Harish Shah
a.k.a Coach Harry

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Evolve
For A Life Less Ordinary
Harish Shah
a.k.a Coach Harry

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Evolve – For A Life Less Ordinary
Copyright © 2020 by (Harish Kumar Janak Shah)
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted
in any form or by any means without written permission from the author.
Published for free dissemination by Harish Kumar Janak Shah (Singapore)
https://www.linkedin.com/in/harishshah

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Dedication
Firstly, I dedicate this effort to all the educators I have had the
humble honour to learn from, who believed in me and invested their
generous effort in my education. I also dedicate this effort, to my alma
mater, The University of Western Australia, where my own personal
journey of evolution truly accelerated.
Secondly, I dedicate this effort to my wife, who has put up
incredibly, throughout our marriage, to my adventurous pursuits off the
beaten tracks of life, that few persons I myself personally have known or
met, would ever have dared to steer or veer from.
Thirdly, I dedicate this effort to my children, who are my primary
source of inspiration at this time, for whom I wish this to be my legacy.
Fourthly, I dedicate this effort to the rest of my friends and family,
for having always somehow found the energies necessary, to stand by the
unpredictable divergent that I have never failed to be, at any point in my
life, or theirs where I have been involved, regardless of the situation.
This endeavour would not have been possible, without the honour
and the privilege, of every single opportunity I have had, to coach each
and every person I have coached, to the point of this endeavour, in my
life, regardless of whether it has been through a group coaching
arrangement, or a one-on-one engagement, and also, regardless the
context and purpose of the engagement. Coaching each person that I
have had the pleasure to coach thus far, has taught me what was
necessary, to put together, the content herein this endeavour.
And not to the least in any way, I dedicate this effort to anyone, who
will expend their time, to read and take something away from this effort
that I have made, in which I have invested a precious part of my life into,
to give away, for free of any monetary cost.

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Table of Contents
About the Author ...................................................... 5
Preface ..................................................................... 6
Introduction .............................................................. 7
Chapter 1: Your Needs ............................................. 8
Chapter 2: Create Yourself...................................... 15
Chapter 3: Your Purpose......................................... 22
Chapter 4: Get Busy ............................................... 33
Chapter 5: Your Choices......................................... 45
Chapter 6: Education .............................................. 68
Chapter 7: The Power of Humility .......................... 82
Chapter 8: Evolution Through Meditation ............... 94
Chapter 9: Live, A Beautiful Life ........................... 108
Conclusion ........................................................... 120

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About the Author
Harish Shah, is a Professional Futurist cum Life Coach from
Singapore.
He has been engaged as an Opening Keynote Speaker, at major
conferences for C-Suite leaders to speak on a variety of future-oriented
topics, to address pressing contemporary issues that different industries
are faced with from time to time, and he is particularly known for the
electric energy he brings with him onto the stage.
As a Coach, Harish has had the opportunity to work with clients
from all walks of life, to help each of them to best live up to their
respective individual and personal potential. His clients have varied
widely in age, ranging from children as young as ten, to senior
professionals above sixty.
Harish graduated from The University of Western Australia, with a
Bachelor of Commerce degree, that he pursued on campus in Perth,
scoring a distinction average in each of his three declared majors;
Management, Industrial Relations and Human Resource Management.
While there is nothing he enjoys more, than to help others be well
prepared for the future, before it arrives for them, occasionally Harish
also involves himself as an actor in short films and television
docudramas.

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Preface
The writing of this book began in a time of crisis, as the world
grappled and struggled with the Covid-19 Coronavirus pandemic of
2020. For many around the world, being forced to stay home to either
abide to enforced quarantines or as part of a self-initiated decision of
responsibility, to keep themselves, their loved ones and others safe, time,
or rather how it is spent, came into question. And it became timelier than
ever before, to acknowledge and appreciate, the true value, of people’s
time, for it is a very precious limited commodity, with life, being a very
finite opportunity, albeit, for experiences, of infinite greatness in value.
And that provided reason, for such a book, to be penned, at such a time.
The concept of this book, had been developed long prior, to when the
actual writing effort began. It developed gradually, for a coach, at the
core of the person, over an extensive journey, of helping others, from
diverse backgrounds and with diverse needs, to identify, recognise and
acknowledge their respective varied and unique potential, and then in
helping them, to realise that potential.
Part and parcel of coaching others, is to help them recognise and
understand, as well as, appreciate, the higher meaning of life, and then to
strive for it, with the best of what they can be. And in the process of
coaching others to achieve just that, the idea emerged, that that higher
meaning of life, needs to be articulated, iterated and emphasised, not just
for paying clients who can afford the luxury of hiring a Personal Coach
to hand-hold and walk them through the process, but for anyone, who
cares about herself or himself enough, to invest just enough time, to read
about it, if it is offered to them free of any monetary cost to them. The
conception progressed towards action, with the belief, that this can bring
about greater collective good for the wider society, over the course of
time, and hopefully for all of humanity, if every individual, is able, to
truly and deeply appreciate, the value of his or her life, as it should be
appreciated, if and where, such a book may serve as a trigger, for a wave,
of such thought.

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Introduction
“Wisdom is the daughter of experience.”
-Leonardo da Vinci (Italian Polymath, 1452-1519)
The intended benefit to the reader of this book, is the start of a
journey, of the evolution, of the mind, through the development of
wisdom, from meaningful experiences attained by practically applying
knowledge and information, from all forms of learning, by all means
available.
The evolution of the mind, is the path, to contentment, satisfaction,
self-fulfilment and joy, in a way to an extent, not otherwise possible.
This, regardless of the background or station in life of any reader, as
long as he or she, is literate.
This book offers simplifications, of life’s greatest questions and
complexities. It does not offer shortcuts.
The purpose of this book is to guide the reader to and through, the
acknowledgement of the ultimate purpose of life, and towards the
fulfilment of that purpose, in the most rewarding way, for the self.
All perspectives and suggestions offered in this book are simple.
They may be accepted universally, by any reader. There is however, no
universal manner, in which any of the perspectives and suggestions
offered in this book may be applied, to the actual unique life situation of
any reader, because every person is different, and every person’s life
situation differs. Therefore, the manner, or method, of application may
differ, for the needs of each reader. Yet, as simple as all the content
included herein this book is, rather deliberately, the application should be
simple enough, to be practical, whatever the variance in manner or
method needed.
In quick summary upfront, this book, is meant to guide each reader,
towards seeking experiences, that will lead to the wisdom, that will in
turn lead, to the evolution, of the self.

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Chapter One: Your Needs
“We are but guests of four days, yet we take up so much room.”
-Sant Kabir (15th
Century Indian Mystic and Poet)
How much can you eat? What is the limit for your stomach? What,
and how much of it, do you need, to satiate your hunger, and to fill your
stomach? Can you take anymore, beyond that? If you can, then how
much more?
How long are you going to live for? The longest any human being
has been known to live for, on record, is under a hundred and twenty-
three years, and even that is disputed. Taking this into perspective, with
each year lasting three hundred and sixty-five days, a hundred years is
not a very long time. And yet, the average, in our contemporary world,
for a human being, is the lifespan of a little over seventy years. Within
that time, factor also, what ageing will do to your body, to limit your
capacities. How much can you then do, achieve, experience or consume,
in your lifetime?
For the body to function, you need food, water and oxygen. To
protect the body, and its dignity, you need clothing. For all of these, how
much, is necessary?
How many clothes do you need to wear in a day? How many clothes
do you need for a week? How long will such clothes last you for?
Then, you need a roof over your head, for shelter, to rest your body,
and protect your family. Beneath that roof, you need running electricity,
water and gas. Again, how much, of all of that, do you actually
absolutely need to use?
If we reduce the list of our needs, to the absolute bare essentials, we
find, that each human being, ultimately, does not need very much. And
yet, there are so many, that form such a large portion of the total human
population in our world even today, for whom, the most basic needs
remain either unmet or inadequately met. And there are those who have
far more than they could ever utilise or consume, and yet, they remain
discontented.

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It would be naive to not acknowledge, that different persons, have
different needs, depending on their circumstances, which more often than
not, are arbitrary.
Yet, if a public bus gets you to your destination, is a car absolutely
necessary? To answer that, unsurprisingly, someone you know might
say, “Yes, I need a car, to get there in my own comfort, to get around
fast, at my own convenience. In my own car, I have my space. You don’t
get that in public transportation.”
Where do you draw the line, between a need, and a want? The
meaning of that question, has become lost. A need, supports your very
existence. The preservation of life, in your mortal physical state.
Medication for the heart keeps you from dying. It is a necessity.
Alcohol to “relax” and “feel good” is not something that keeps you alive.
If you stop consuming alcohol, your body, will not necessarily start to
break down. Your body, will not necessarily stop functioning without
alcohol. Nor, will your body stop functioning without tobacco and
nicotine.
Your wants, are things, without which, or in the absence of which,
your body, can and will, continue to function, properly, safely and in a
healthy manner, allowing you, to live, a good, happy, purposeful,
meaningful and fulfilling life. Very often, you have wants, that are
impediments, to your body, and to the overall quality of your life. Very
often, your body would work better for you, without the fulfilment of
certain wants, to help you experience a life, of better and higher quality.
If you don’t have food or water around you, with oxygen supply to
your body uninterrupted, you can still go look for food and water, to
survive. If your oxygen is cut, all hope of preserving life is lost. That
makes oxygen, your most critical fundamental life necessity and priority.
The good news is, that it is relatively freely available all around you,
unless and until we mess up the environment or atmosphere of the planet
enough to change that.
Yet for oxygen to benefit you, your body needs to acquire it from the
environment and process it, through the breathing process, a function, of
your respiratory system.

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Now when you smoke, and you pretty much send what would
otherwise constitute tar, into your respiratory system and track, even if it
does not kill you, and you live to be an octogenarian, despite being a
lifelong smoker, somehow evading cancer even, you can at least count,
on that act, of tobacco consumption, somewhat diminishing or
deteriorating your quality of life, for your experience of your very breath,
the most critical necessity of life, will likely not be as nourishing,
enjoyable, satisfying, as it could otherwise be. Your respiratory system,
contaminated, thanks to your actions, to fulfil a want, of a thrill or a high,
artificially induced, by smoking, would not work as well, as it otherwise
would, for you.
Whether or not, your wants are impediments to the wellbeing of your
body or its functioning abilities, your pursuits of your wants, can quite
often, quite easily, become significant impediments, to gaining an overall
life experience, in the limited time you have, in terms of quality.
If you really get down to it, and make a list separating all your wants
and needs, in life, in the form of a table, with two columns and start
attributing or ascribing monetary value to items within each column,
chances are, the budget you’d need to fulfil your wants, versus your
needs, will be higher, perhaps by multiples. And then if you were to ask,
what you’d need to do to acquire and maintain that budget, to fulfil your
wants, on top of your needs, the question that is not easily apparent,
immediately, in that moment, if that of; what will you have lived, by the
end of such a life, spent, in pursuit of that monetary budget?
For that dream house, along with that dream car, you spend sixteen
hours in a day at the office, work on weekends, for years at end. By the
time you acquire the promotions, the positions, the pay-cheques, the
savings, to make your “dreams” a reality, your children would have
grown up, and flown the nest. Your spouse may have left you. You may
perhaps have a lot of “friends” by then, who would want your money, or
a ride, on your yacht. And to keep all of that, you’d be working every
time, you’d be in that big fancy house with a pool, or spending endless
nights, working, on that yacht docked in the marina. Not necessarily, but

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possibly. Is it a scenario that is worthwhile? It is a question, that you
should perhaps revisit, when you are done reading this book, to its end.
Money is important. Every time in history, someone has tried to
condemn or do away with a system of money, the world has gotten
someone like Pol Pot of Cambodia. That alone tells you the importance
of money. And because money is so important, it is also important to
earn it. It is probably the best idea to work hard, and work smart, to make
money. The more, the better. And then it is also important to work hard,
and work smart, to save that money, to keep it, as much as you can, with
you.
And when you have plenty of money, to spend it on your wants,
desires and luxuries, it is perfectly fine to do so. There is nothing wrong
with that, necessarily. There does not have to be anything wrong with
living a life of luxury, or “class”, as some would call it. If you can afford
it, then why not?
As important as earning, keeping and then enjoying money is
however, it is just as important, to remember, that money, needs to be
acquired, to support life, of quality experiences. Life itself, is not
something that has come about for you, to acquire money. Without life,
money has no value. And no amount of money, can buy life for you. Not
in any way, not to any extent.
If you are on a plane that catches fire mid-air, no matter how many
billion dollars you have in cold hard cash, in your bank account, you will
not get a day more. It therefore, makes no sense, to pursue money, to
pursue wants, at the expense, of missing out on the limited life, that you
have. Limited, by limited time.
It is not a contradictory or paradoxical concept. You can make
money, because you should, as much of it as you can, without
compromising on what you are making that money for to begin with.
And then, when you earn that money, it is in your interest, to spend it, in
ways you need to spend it, to get the best quality experiences, without
compromising on the quality of those experiences.
If a product of luxury comes with a health risk, that can be
detrimental to your internal bodily functions, it is likely, that the quality

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of your life experiences, eventually, at some point, will be compromised,
by that product, and what you spend on it.
Even if a luxury product does not come with a health risk, if it is
going to take that much of your life to acquire it, that you miss out on
many other experiences that that particular product cannot deliver, along
the way, then that product, is costly for you, perhaps not in a monetary
sense, but in a much greater sense.
Your time, within the limited lifespan you have, is far more precious,
than anything, anyone, anywhere, ever, can buy, or sell. You also, never
know, how much time you have left. Some very wealthy, successful,
influential and promising people, have had their lives cut, by unforeseen
circumstances, at their peaks, when the rest of the world would have
thought, that there was some much more left or yet to come for those
people.
You need to therefore, make the most of the time that you have, to
enjoy as much as you can, this opportunity that you have, which is called
life. And because it is a mystery, as to how much time you have left, you
should not logically want to wait, hold back, or procrastinate, on this
opportunity called life.
You certainly will not make the most of this opportunity called life,
by accumulating a dozen rooms for yourself, if all you need, to sleep
through the night, is one room, and there is not going to be anyone else,
to live with you, who would need those other rooms.
There are people in this world, who have to spend a fortune, to
acquire such an apartment, to which you open the front door along a
narrow corridor, to be able to walk in, and lie down on a single bed to
one side, and cook dinner on the other, without standing room for a
second person. The only other thing to look forward to through that front
door, would be another door, to a toilet cubicle at the other end. Imagine
having to be a millionaire to be able to afford that, where getting married
and having children would be out of the question, in such a living space.
Believe it or not, there are places in our world, at the time this book is
being written, where millionaires have to live life like that, and to live
just like that, only just like that, one needs to be a millionaire! Living a

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life constrained as such, is probably not what Sant Kabir was suggesting,
when he articulated the quote at the start of this chapter. It is a situation
though, that the people who are in it, perhaps do not have many
alternatives to, or options, and the trade-offs are considered, and adapting
to those conditions, given arbitrary circumstances perhaps, is a necessity,
of the time, for those people.
Just as much as it probably is not in your interest to live in excess or
pursue excess, to make the most of your life, you certainly would, as far
as is possible, within your locus of control, want to avoid situations, that
constrain you.
To not be constrained, you need freedom. You need freedom from
bondage, of all sorts, including vices and habits. Not being able to stay
away from the temptation to roll the dice on a casino table, is binding.
Not being able to go to sleep without that cup of wine, is binding. Not
being able to start the day without that cup of coffee, is binding.
Anything that holds you back or renders you dependent upon itself is
binding you, not freeing you. Having any form of bondage in your life, is
a stoppage, to freedom. Your freedom.
Marriage is a relationship that frees you in love. If you start
developing thoughts or behaviours of infidelity while in a marriage, then
you are placing yourself, in a binding situation.
Relationships give meaning to and enhance the experience of life.
When they are holding you back, impeding your life experiences, they
are then considered toxic, because they are binding you, not freeing you.
It often times, then becomes necessary, to minimize your role, in such
relationships, to free yourself.
Relationships that on the other hand, grant purposeful and
meaningful, direction and value to your life, are enriching and freeing.
Such relationships, by bringing you satisfaction, contentment and
happiness, amplify your experience of your limited time spent in this
human state. It is therefore, that you can consider those relationships to
be freeing. You can reciprocate those relationships, by being a non-toxic,
freeing person yourself, by giving as much to the others who are in those

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relationships with you, as you can, to enrich their lives, without limiting
their freedom.
You have to remember, that you get, from a relationship, no more
than what you put in, just as you would expect with any job or business.
If you put in happiness, you will get happiness. That comes also, with
discipline, hard work and commitment. If for whatever reason, it feels
like it is taking too much, it is quite possibly a relationship that is not one
that you should be in. Either the relationship is wrong for you, or you are
wrong for that relationship. If it is the latter, possibly, you have lot more
work pending, on yourself.
Working on yourself, is the greatest investment you can ever make.
The best version of you, will deliver for you, the best possible life
experiences, you should expect and/or deserve, more likely, than not.

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Chapter Two: Create Yourself
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
-George Bernard Shaw (Irish Playwright and Polemicist, 1856-1950)
Soul searching. Self-discovery. Self-enquiry. Searching for yourself.
When did you ever lose or misplace yourself? Even if you lose yourself
in a jungle and do not know the way out of that jungle, you, in that
moment, are certainly able to locate yourself, the person, even if unsure
of the geographical location as to where you physically are. Any three-
year-old toddler would very well know that.
It is a charlatan and manipulative, possibly brainwashing concept,
that notion, that perhaps you do not know yourself, or where you are at
with yourself. Such abstract, complicating concepts, are futile, in serving
any actual, tangible or practical purpose for yourself. Such concepts,
however, have been effectively applied, to subjugate the minds of others,
for personal gains, by cunning manipulators, throughout human history.
The honest truth is, you know yourself better, absolutely, than any
other human being possibly ever can and will. Even if you are someone
in the habit of lying to yourself, the absolute truth is, that you know the
absolute, honest, factual, truths, about yourself. You know your thoughts
in your mind. You know your intentions. You know your motivations.
You know your feelings. You know your needs, wants and desires. You
know your lies, appearances and whatnot.
The honest truth is, that you have no need whatsoever to search for
yourself or discover yourself. You are an ever present, constant,
perpetually current reality for yourself, that is perpetually known to you.
The better, more useful, more purposeful, more practical idea, or
notion, is to take what you are at present, making an honest reasonable
assessment of your present self, and then working with that present self,
to make the most that you can, of and with yourself. Take the present
you, and create, a better you.
Your parents conceived you and gave birth to you. They nourished
and nurtured you at best. They did not create you. They contributed to

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your creation, but they did not wholly create you, and there is a
difference there. The educational system educated you, hopefully,
properly. It did not wholly create you, while contributing to your
creation. Your employer gave you a job, to use your time, for its
productive needs, in return for a fixed monetary sum. Your employer
certainly did not create you.
What you become though, the story that others watch, hear or read or
come to know of, whether in your presence or in your wake, is up to you,
in your hands ultimately. Ultimately, and wholly, it is really you, who are
responsible, for the creation, of yourself.
You are the story, of the stories, that you will have lived, by the point
in time, that marks the end, of your life. It is up to you, to write that
story, as best as you can.
You will not control most contexts or circumstances or situations
that you will end up in. What you do, how you respond or react or how
you prepare or confront, those situations, contexts and circumstances, is
a completely different matter.
You can use approaches, that harm you, damage you or destroy you,
whether you think of those approaches as adverse for yourself or not.
You can use approaches, that enhance, advance, amplify or elevate you.
Ultimately, you decide, what you want to give to a present moment,
or what you want to take from it. You decide, the shape that your story
ultimately takes. You decide, on what your legacy should look like. You
decide, on your role and on your value, in the world around you. You are
the product, that you make.
How often though, do we come across people, in a day and age,
when supposedly, slavery, is a concept or notion of the bygone past, who
are living lives, determined, dictated, and directed, by others? How often
do we yet come across people, who are spending their lives, fitting into
moulds, created by others, be it their parents or families, society, the state
apparatus, the employers they work for, influential or dominating friends
they latch on to and so on?

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If you are not living a life, determined by yourself, for yourself, are
you, the best version of yourself? The best version of yourself, for
yourself, in your best interests, that is.
As selfish as this might be sounding right now, as you read this, be
honest in answering the question; if you are not the best for yourself, in a
given moment, can you possibly be, the very best, anyone else would or
could ever need you to be, in any context, in that moment, for them? The
question that is a little harsher here, is that; are you possibly someone,
that someone else would need, in any given moment, if you are not the
best version of you, for you? Are you needed? Are you not needed? If
you are not needed, what is your worth or value? What is the value, of
your life?
If you are fitting into a mould, of what someone else wants you to
be, you are fitting yourself, into a want, in someone else’s agenda or life,
but that does not make you “needed”.
It is important to address these questions, because whether you are
needed or not, by others, determines, the value, you are creating, for
yourself, out of your life, which is limited by time. You want that value,
to be higher, for yourself, not anyone else, rather than lower.
You want the value of your life, to be higher, for yourself, by living
it in a purposeful and meaningful manner, in which that purpose or that
meaning, is one that is very important, critical, crucial, one which only
you can fulfil, and you can fulfil that purpose or meaning best. That
makes you unique and special. It makes your being, your existence,
worthwhile. It is not something that feeds or facilitates the superficial
ego. It is something, that grants pride, to your very spirit.
There is an age old saying; “No one is indispensable”. It effectively
means, that everyone is dispensable. Think about the person you love the
most. Can you imagine your life without that person? Can someone come
to you with an offer, to replace that person you love the most, with
someone else, and you reckon such an offer would be acceptable to you?
Is that person dispensable to you?
The tragic and ultimate truth of life, is that from time to time, we
lose people, including those whom we cherish the most. It is called

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death. We are not immortal beings. When someone we love and cherish,
that we consider precious, passes away, we consider that occurrence, to
be a personal loss, because that person, who has passed away, cannot be
replaced. Life, after the passing of that person, is not the same, as it were
before, if you’ve loved and cherished that person. It is because of that
value, in your life, of that person, that that person, is indispensable to
you. Even if that person has been on the sick bed for a long time, and is a
burdensome responsibility or a financial liability upon you. You
certainly, if you love that person, do not think of that person, in that way.
To you, you need that person, and that person’s presence. There is no
better version of that person to you. That is that person’s importance, to
you and for you.
In life, you don’t have to love most people, to need them. Nor do you
need to be loved by most persons, to be needed by them. The point here,
is not about love. That is another topic, for later. The point here, is about
the value of a person, the importance of a person, the necessity of a
person, which renders the person, indispensable. And that person, at the
heart of the point here, is you.
If indeed, you are dispensable, wherever you are, in whatever
context, should you be there? Your presence there, where it is, that you
are dispensable, is at your expense. It is at the expense of your time, your
life, which is limited, within the boundary of that limited time that you
have. The time, and amount of life, which is worth far more, than
whatever compensation, including monetary, that you are getting, for
being there, where you are dispensable. It is crucial for you to ask,
whether it is worthwhile being there, as you are, at such cost, to yourself?
It is crucial, for your own sake. If indeed, you are dispensable anywhere,
wherever it is, and whatever the context, you have a few options.
First, most simply, you have the option to carry on being that
expendable inventory item, where you are, as you.
The second option, is that you can stay there, where you are, and turn
yourself into an asset, by working on yourself and working on
something, which renders your presence or participation, a strategically
valuable difference maker.

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Thirdly, if you know that you already are providing a strategic value,
by being where you are, and that without you, things would be worse off,
but, your presence is not valued or appreciated enough, and you are yet
seen as dispensable, then walk, and go elsewhere, where your time, your
contribution of your life, is more worthwhile, for you. Don’t waste your
precious time, just start walking. If you have doubts about yourself to be
able to do that, and to live with that, then you have significant problems,
with yourself, which you need to start recognizing, acknowledging and
addressing, with significant effort.
Last, but not least, if you know, that whatever you do, or whatever
you may be able to do there where you are, you will always be
disposable, dispensable, because you are in a place where you are only
serving a function of utility, and others there want you there for no other
reason, you need to understand the gravity, of what you are doing there,
which is wasting your precious life in the worst of ways possible. Get
out, isolate yourself, understand where you are at with your abilities, and
start evaluating what can be done with those, or how they can be better
developed, to be more valuable.
The above options, apply to every scenario and facet of life. They
can apply to your occupation, employment or place of work. They can
apply to a business partnership. They can apply to a volunteer
organization or movement. They can apply to your personal
relationships, whether with your parents, your siblings, your spouse or
your children. They can apply to your friendships. The options, are
applicable, universally. Your life is yours. It is precious. Your life, is
about you. Whatever part of it, you give anywhere, to anyone or
anything, for any purpose, is an act, of you, giving. And it is the most
precious thing anyone can ever give. Therefore, you need to consider
those options, and you need to consider them very carefully, wherever, it
is, that you are giving away, that precious portion of your life.
You will only be as important, to anyone else, with all other
characterizations in fictional literature or screen reality put aside, as
you’d be able to consider yourself. And you will only be able to consider
yourself as important, as you would consider your time remaining, to

20
live. And that time of yours will only be as important, as what you make
of it, determined, by what you do with it.
Here, at this point, remember, that you are the story, of the stories,
that you will have lived, by the point in time, that marks the end, of your
life. So, it is up to you, to use the time remaining, that you have, to live
your life, to make your story, an important one, to be told, heard and
remembered. If it is dispensable, it is not important. If it is not important,
it is probably at best a boring story, and at worst, a lousy useless one. It
is up to you, to not allow that, to be the state of your story, of your life,
and of you.
While you remember that, also remember, never to tell yourself, that
you are important. You are human. Do you really need to be told that you
are human? Just as much, if you are important, you will not need to be
told, that you are important. Not even by yourself. The problem with you
telling yourself that you are important, is the risk, that the act of “telling
yourself” may become a preoccupation, or an obsession, or a delusion, or
a blatant lie even that becomes too satisfying, thus serving, as a
distractor, from the actual purpose or cause, of actually being important.
The idea, is not to tell yourself that you are important, but rather, to
be important. Being important, does not come with saying or telling, but
rather, it comes with doing, important things, with your abilities and
strengths. If something is useful, if something is meaningful, and it
matters, it is important. If you are doing that something or delivering that
something, then, you are important. You don’t need to tell yourself that
you are important, but rather, you need to remain focused, on being able
to do or deliver what matters, and, then doing or delivering just that.
Even when you do things that are important, the danger of telling
yourself, that you are important, is the risk of becoming an egoist or a
narcissist. What is wrong with that? That can be answered as simply as,
would you like one to be around you? And just like that, you lose your
importance, and become dispensable, because the trade-off of having you
around, is not worthwhile anymore. And gradually, that could grow to
apply to you, yourself. And that matters, because your life, is about you.

21
People who are truly important, especially for themselves, are people
who are free enough to be important, from all forms of bondages,
including those that can exist internally within, such as the bondage of
the ego, for example.

22
Chapter Three: Your Purpose
“The purpose of our lives is to be happy.”
-Tenzin Gyatso, The 14th
Dalai Lama (Leader of Tibetan Buddhism)
If something does not deliver happiness, ultimately, does it matter? If
something is not ultimately going to deliver happiness to you, is it
worthwhile, for you, to pursue it, or to do it, or to work on it, or to work
for it? Is anything? If your answer is yes, then why not ask yourself, why
or how so?
As much as we acknowledge, that the time we have, to live, is
limited, you always have options, aplenty, as to what to do with that
time, as important and as precious as it is. What is the best way for you
to expend it though? Is there any better way, than to expend the time, as
best as possible, as much as possible, in a way, that it ultimately,
delivers, optimal happiness, to you, yourself?
To be able to deliver anything, off any effort or expenditure, that
would ultimately amount to delivering happiness to yourself, you need,
to deliver as much, in value, to others around you. And what would
others around you, value as much, other than happiness?
The idea is to be engaged in effort, work or labour that generates
happiness, for others around you, to be able, to be rewarded or
compensated with happiness yourself.
That said, a certain client or supplier, or supervisor at work, for
example, could be very happy, off what you give or provide or offer,
while you are not, ultimately, because that person perhaps, derives
happiness, without regard for yours, and, at the expense even, of yours.
Certainly, it is not a fair deal. If it isn’t fair, is it a worthwhile deal?
Remember, your precious time, of your life, is always invested in any
and every deal, transaction or relationship.
At the same time, if you are the sort of person who seeks, derives or
acquires happiness, without regard for that, of another, it may be a matter
of time, before your approach is reciprocated. And that could cost you
significantly, in terms of the sum of opportunities, to be happy, with your

23
time remaining, on the clock of life. As precious as your life is, so is the
life of another, to that other. As precious as your time is, for you, so is
the time of others, for them, respectively. As important as your ultimate
purpose is for you, so too, it is, for others.
Whether we like it or not, realise it or not, acknowledge it or not, we
are all in a relationship of reciprocation with each other, collectively.
This is because, we exist and survive, in a co-dependency with and upon
each other. And that co-dependency, extends, to govern, our ability of
acquisition, of the experience, of happiness, for our individual, personal
selves.
Yet, ultimately, your life, primarily and most importantly, remains
yours. To you therefore, in or within the time, of your life that you have,
you and the experience of being you, should remain a paramount priority
for you. The ultimate goal being your happiness.
The smile you wish to see, on a happy face, of a spouse who is safe
and secure, in comfort, is about your experience of happiness, in just
that. The pride, you see in the faces of your parents, when they look at
you, is about your happiness, that you experience from just that sight.
The growth, the evolution, the success and happiness, of your children,
and their children, is ultimately about the happiness, you experience,
within yourself, from witnessing all that. The satisfaction and comfort
you bring to a poor hungry elder with no one else to turn too, that you
help to feed, despite him or her being a stranger to you, is about your joy,
in seeing another human being finding comfort in or through your action.
A happy person spreads happiness. By spreading happiness, one
becomes happy. And this is done through labour.
No one is ever in the food and beverage business really. People who
consume the food and beverage, sold by any business, find happiness in
that consumption. Therefore, anyone in the food and beverage industry,
is really selling happiness. The grocery store assistant is selling
happiness, to those who consume the groceries. The pilot, is delivering
happiness, by getting the cargo or passengers on his plane safely to the
destination that is intended.

24
The commonly overlooked reality, is that primarily, anything of real
actual value, in any work or endeavour we engage ourselves in is
ultimately, the happiness that can or may be derived from it, or its
outcomes.
We decide what we choose to work on, to deliver happiness to others
ultimately, on the basis of what set of actions, cumulatively or in sum,
can and will deliver the maximum happiness, to ourselves. Off course,
not too many people consciously think of life, and of labour, in such a
manner. Chances are, you never did until you read this here. There is a
cost however, attached, to not thinking with this perspective; we risk
losing out on happiness for ourselves. And happiness, is the most
important thing, ultimately, for any individual, from the start to the end,
of life.
Too often, too many people, get too carried away, with immediate
preoccupations, and therein lose focus or sight, of the ultimate end goal,
or the biggest picture, that their sights need to be firmly set on; their
personal happiness, not at the end, or at any other particular point, of life,
but through all of it, or at least through as much of it as possible.
Too often, too many people spend too much of their lives away,
working endlessly, striving for and chasing after a perceived experience
of happiness, only to either never really get there, or to be left with
insufficient time to actually experience what they would have sought to.
The point is not to work for or towards happiness. The point is, being
happy, in everything and anything, that one does, here, and now. Be it
formal occupation work, be it learning or training, be it a sport for
recreation or fitness, or anything else. The point is, to be happy now.
That is the ultimate end goal of life. You don’t live at an end of a
timeline. You live now. You don’t need to be happy at the end of a
timeline. You need to be happy now.
Yet, how many people have you known, that have pursued an
education, or degrees, that take good chunks in years, of life, in hopes to
find happiness, with the qualifications that they would be conferred, at
the end? And then how many people have you known, who have sought
certain jobs, some at particular companies, to be able to achieve some

25
form of success, reputation or income, with which, they could then
acquire happiness? How many people have you known, that have chased
promotions, in the hope of that job title or position granting them
happiness? And even if those persons found happiness in those rewards
they so sought, and pursued as such, in the moments when those rewards
were gotten, or at milestone points when those goals were accomplished,
consider, the time, expended in the journey towards getting there. Were
they actually happy, through the course of those journeys, in those
pursuits, during that time which was expended in the course? If they
weren’t, was the time expended in those journeys worthwhile?
Take for the sake of comparison, a teenager, who picks subjects and
works hard on them at school, that he or she enjoys. And that leads him
or her to university A good reputable one, which he or she wants to go
to, for the environment, the ambience and the culture, that he or she feels
content at being in, and learns the subjects there that best entertain his or
her mind. And that teenager or young adult enjoys each day, each
assignment at university, because the answers and the discoveries in the
course of study, entertains his or her mind as such. And that young
person is enjoying the non-curricular lifestyle on campus, amongst
likeminded people, be they students, faculty or anyone else who is a part
of that institution’s community. And then that young person pursues a
postgraduate qualification at another institution, in a subject that he or
she is particularly intrigued by, by the end of the undergraduate life. He
or she enjoys each day through that postgraduate journey. At the end of
that, as a holder of a postgraduate degree, the young person applies for
literally a thousand jobs, but gets no offer, until the very next one. He or
she takes it, enjoys each day at work, being thrilled to execute the daily
tasks that come with the job. And ultimately, within a short time, that
same person, gets headhunted to fill a more senior role elsewhere. And
before hitting the age of forty, that person, now no longer that young, is a
very highly paid CEO, of a major multinational brand name company.
Successful? How? By being happy throughout the journey, having
enjoyed each day and each part of it? Not too many folks would think of
that. Not in that way perhaps.

26
A person with such a story, would have truly lived the journey, the
respective present moments in each and every day of that journey, up
until that point of the “destination”, being happy. At least for the most
parts. And this is nothing idealistic or utopian. There are a good number
of famous successful people today, who have begun their journeys from
humble places, to get to positions of influence, power and wealth,
without actually chasing such a future blindly, and without actually
sacrificing their moments along the way through their journeys. Yes,
they would have worked equally as hard as others wanting the same, but
the difference here, to note, is the perspective. There are people, who get
ahead or above, by enjoying what they do along the way, rather than
doing what they do along the way, only just to get to what they think
they will enjoy later.
In fact, the best doctors you know, are probably people who never
wanted to be doctors for the prestige, the reputation, the money and so
on. They probably just loved the idea of doing what they are doing now,
and they are enjoying their jobs as much now, after being in the
profession. And perhaps that is the reason, why they are so talented as
doctors, to be, the best amongst those that you know. The same for
lawyers. The same for engineers. And so on. People who enjoy their
tasks, and the work in general, tend to be good at doing that work.
Enjoying something means, experiencing happiness in it. And when you
are good something, the chances are, that you will find success both in it,
and with it.
A mathematician never complains that mathematics is difficult or
boring. Usually, a mathematician is a person, who enjoys mathematics
enough, to have much less a problem with learning it, than most other
people. And mathematicians, though anywhere in any society, are not
often much thought about, are actually very highly valuable people,
because of the abilities they carry with themselves, be it in the world of
academia, where they are critically needed by academics from every
other faculty that exists, from astronomy to zoology, or in the private
commercial sector, where most things you take for granted around you
today, would not be cost effectively and efficiently manufactured,

27
without the work, of a mathematician. In fact, some things are not
possible to build or manufacture at all, without the work of
mathematicians somewhere along the chain or process. Most people do
not realise or think of this.
An easy way to gauge how valuable mathematicians are, as an
occupational group, is to go online, look at the sort of salaries that
companies or government agencies or universities offer, in most parts of
the world, to professional or career mathematicians, and compare those
salaries, to most jobs you can think of intuitively, when asked to think of
highly regarded jobs. You will likely find, that mathematicians generally
earn a relatively good income. This is because of the importance of their
output that others need. And, it is unlikely that you will ever find a
mathematician, who does not absolutely love mathematics, as the
subject, for itself.
To most people, even those who are brilliant at mathematics, the
possibilities of income aside, it is not a subject, that they would willingly
want to spend their days with, let alone their entire careers, from student
life, to retirement from professional life, or, to the end of mortal life
itself. And that is why perhaps in a country like the US, with a
population of over three-hundred million, there are just over three-
thousand mathematicians, despite the value of both the subject and
profession.
Mathematicians, tend to be people, who are not just brilliant at the
subject, but such, that they enjoy being engrossed in the subject, and
never tire from it. Mathematics is to them, what a cool exciting video
game, is to most children. And therefore, despite working hard on a
difficult complex subject, no mathematician ever, probably, works a
single day of his or her life in reality, despite being highly paid for it. It is
because, to mathematicians, they are likely being paid, to play, and be
happy, in their lifelong playtime.
Off course, not every passion pays monetarily as much as
professional mathematics does. There is a variance, in the degree, of
market or output value, for different subject matters or types of effort.
And yet, some of the world’s most successful people, are examples, of

28
people, who have achieved great personal life success, from doing work,
that is generally, nowhere as nearly regarded or valued, as occupations in
the fields of medicine, law, engineering, computing or mathematics.
Look at where doodling brought Walt Disney? Have you heard of the
author J.K. Rowling? There are people who have amassed massive
fortunes by cooking, and some of us fail to appreciate perhaps better
cooks than they may be, that we have as our mothers, who feed us for
free.
And yet, should monetary return be the motivation at all for anything
we choose to commit ourselves to doing, for an economic occupation? Is
a monetary motivation even necessary, considering that if we are good at
something, and we do it well, so that it is valued by others, it will draw
us desirable monetary rewards anyway?
Think about it in this way, that if what you do, is valuable, in the
sense, that it delivers enough happiness, adequately, sufficiently, to
others, you will get your returns on that value, as compensation, in
monetary form. Whatever work you do, with whatever effort, with
whatever skill set or task set involved, as long as it delivers a value to
others, ultimately in amounting to happiness, you will get compensated.
When the work that you do, is something that delivers happiness to
others, is something that in itself delivers happiness to you, while you do
it, that is work that is truly worthwhile, for you and for others. The
reason for that, is that you are getting compensated for creating
happiness for others, by in effect, creating happiness for yourself, even
before you get the monetary reward, as you engage and invest yourself in
that work. And by doing you so, you are creating a life for yourself,
which is fulfilling of its ultimate purpose. In that way, you are creating,
effectively, and efficiently, the best possible you. And that, is a
worthwhile story.
And it really is a sum game. The more happiness your efforts deliver
to others, the more valuable your efforts are, and therefore, the greater,
the compensatory sum you draw, monetarily.
In practicality, you have to make a concession, that not everyone
finds equal happiness, in everything. Not everyone can partake in every

29
value. Therefore, depending on what you do, there may be a comparative
variance, in how many people you can deliver value to, in what context
and to what degree. As complex as this sounds, in simple terms, it
means, not every personal choice, passion or option, tapped on for
occupational work engagement, will bring you the most amount of
money, or, it may not necessarily make you relatively rich. To be happy
though, do you need to be rich?
Being wealthy, is a form of security. Either that, or a bonus. Wealth
unaccompanied by happiness, cannot be worth very much to an
individual.
By prevailing definitions of what being rich is, monetarily, consider
the fact, that most people, for most of their lives, are not rich. By most
economic definitions, the largest portion of people in the world are in
what is called, the “middle class”. They are the people, who are neither
rich, nor poor. If being rich was ever the requisite to be happy, then most
people on earth, falling either into the “middle class”, or, into poverty,
live futile and miserable lives. It must have always been like that, and
will always be like that, for the human species. That is not a very
pleasant perspective to hold, about human life, human existence and the
human experience, in sum.
In reality, to go about life, to survive, to exist, and to be able to
engage in activity, that delivers happiness, one needs enough, in terms of
necessities, therefore in terms of material possession, and therefore,
money. You need money, in enough amounts, to be able to freely and
independently live, and support a reasonable life for yourself. You don’t
need enough money, to be classified economically as being rich.
Having enough although not being rich, would mean having a home,
to live in. Being rich, would perhaps mean, having a pretty big home.
Whichever the type of home you’d own and live in though, you would
only need, generally, one bed, to sleep on.
If being rich alone however, is your idea of happiness, likely even
when or if you are rich, you are going to be at a loss, on happiness, and
therefore, at a loss, in achieving the purpose of life itself.

30
As long as you have enough money, to fulfil your needs, and at the
same time, you are able to be happy, for the most parts of your days, for
most of your days, while you are alive, you will by the end of your life,
have lived a good life, because reasonably and logically, can you actually
ask for more, out of this human experience you have arbitrarily gotten a
shot at? That is an important question you have to personally answer for
yourself.
If you understand and acknowledge your own personal need for
happiness, and you identify your personal passion or activity that serves
as a source of that happiness for you, and then if you engage in the
pursuit of that passion or activity, professionally or occupationally,
working hard at it, doing enough of it, and are able to draw enough of an
income from it, to afford all that you need for the rest of your life, which
you can be content with looking back upon, from any point in time, to a
practical and reasonable mind, that should seem like a good deal, and a
good plan.
Whatever you do, for an occupation, you are going to invest the
greatest portion of your lifetime into it. There is no greater sacrifice than
that, that most people can make. Then why not, make that sacrifice, for
something that will be the most rewarding for you personally?
Something, that both pays monetarily, and in terms of the experience of
happiness along the way?
Nothing is easy. Not even an endeavour that most appeals to your
heart or evokes the greatest passion in you. Athletes have a lot of fun.
They put their bodies through very difficult, often painful and rigorous
training, that most other people would not be able to endure, to be able to
pursue sports professionally. And that is really why, athletes are able
perform in their sports, ably enough, to be athletes full-time, as
compared, to others, who may enjoy and appreciate those same sports,
but without being able to claim “athlete” status, for occupation, in pursuit
of those sports.
Entertainers, such as actors, though not all of them may be rich, or
highly paid, live rather glamourous lives, doing creative work, but try
spending a single day watching a film shoot on location, and you will see

31
that there is a lot more labour involved on their parts that you may not
otherwise imagine, when you watch their end product on screen.
Each activity, task, or occupation, comes with its own unique
demands and challenges. Just because you pursue a passion, for a
livelihood, it does not mean, that there will not be a need, to actually
pour in a lot of effort.
If anyone does set out to seek an occupation for livelihood that does
not require any effort, such a person, is never going to find one, because
such an occupation does not exist. Nobody would value any such work,
enough to pay for it, if it does not require that certain significant amount
of effort.
Therefore, an occupation, or a career, is not just something in which
you are going to invest most of the time that you have, constituting the
sum duration of your life, here in this world, but it is also going to be
something, where to actually get or derive any monetary compensation,
reward or income, you are going to very labour hard, whatever it may be
that you choose to do. Even the best paying jobs or businesses, don’t
exactly bring those high returns, to people who pursue them, without
those people investing significant effort, and that is an understatement. It
therefore makes sense, that if you are going to invest all of that, or that
much, then you do so, in a way, that best benefits you, towards, your
ultimate life purpose.
Yet, your occupation or professional career alone should not define
you, or your life, no matter how good you are at it or how much it is
valued by others, because you and your life are much more than just that
alone, and therefore, there are yet many more hats to wear, deservingly,
and they are to be worn well.
Besides deriving happiness, from just your occupation or your
career, you also need to derive happiness, from the relationships you
build and maintain. In romance. In family. In friendship.
As much as your livelihood pursuits will take up the most of your
time, it should not be mistaken to be, the sum of, or, all of, your life.
Your livelihood, or economic occupation, is just one, of many parts, of
you and your life. It should not define, the whole of you in your entirety.

32
It should define entirety, of the story of the stories you would have lived,
by the end of your life.
See yourself, as more. Create yourself, as such. Most importantly, do
not forget, to create yourself, to be happy.

33
Chapter Four: Get Busy
“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for
it.”
-Henry David Thoreau (19th
Century American Philosopher)
Since time is precious, and not something to waste, don’t wait to
make something of it or with it. Start using it, meaningfully,
purposefully, productively, by getting busy with it, to draw experiences
that fulfil you, and end as much room as possible, for regret later, for the
experience of regret itself holds no benefit, and is therefore a waste in
itself, of yet more time. You cannot afford any wastage at all, of your
time. And therefore, the practical and sensible thing to do, is to be busy.
In this chapter, it becomes essential, for me to write from a personal,
first person perspective, to demonstrate to you, that in this book, I am not
merely dishing out theoretical advice or idealistic philosophies. This
chapter marks that milestone in the book, at which perhaps it is fair, that
a reasonable mind may question, if the content herein this book is merely
a preaching, or is it something that can be realistically practiced? And
there is no better way, to address and put aside that question, than with a
real story, of the very person, responsible for writing the book, that you
are reading, without necessarily presenting a whole biography.
When I was an adolescent, I signed up for the IT club in school, to
learn how to use the computer. It may not seem like something
impressive or a big deal today. Back when I was thirteen however, there
was no computer in my home, as it was a little beyond my family to be
able to afford one at the time. This was also the era, when where I was,
internet access at home, was not yet commonplace. In fact, the internet
was not yet commonplace, in most parts of the world. I was curious
about the machines known as computers, and I wanted to learn how to
use them.
Joining the IT club, I learnt how to use Microsoft Word, in one of its
earlier versions. There used to be a design software called Coral Draw. I
learnt that. I learnt to work commands with MS DOS. And so on. It was

34
fun, because not being able to see a computer every day, it being
something new at the time, for me, and with the aspiration to hopefully
own one someday, to hopefully do something advantageous with it,
learning how to use it at that time was exciting.
I also played football. I participated in track & field events and cross-
country runs. I also signed up for drama and debates, though between the
two, really, I was far more active, in drama initially. I hosted stage shows
for major school events and functions. In fact, I was involved in all the
major school performances.
When I was sixteen, I auditioned as an actor, for a national youth
performance, which was a dance musical. A couple of weeks after the
audition, I was called up, and I was told that I’d be performing as a
dancer, because the choreographer who had co-conducted the auditions,
liked my body movements. I had never danced before in my life.
Learning dancing at sixteen is a feat. Learning theatrical dancing, which
is a mix of hip hop, ballet and a number of other niche dance forms,
while juggling with school, is another world. I showed up, and I
performed as the lead dancer.
That same year, when I was sixteen, I was on television as the
youngest participant for that year’s season, of the country’s most popular
television programme at the time, a game show titled The Pyramid
Game, that pretty much rivetted most of the country’s population to their
television screens, at the end of work days, every weekday.
The next year, at seventeen, when I was going to sit for my school
leaving examinations, I returned, for a second round, on the same game
show I had been on the year before.
By the time I left secondary school, I had been a student leader, or a
prefect as one is known at some schools, and I had a collection of
trophies, from cross-country and track & field. And I had a good number
of stage performances to boast about. I was also pretty good with the
computer, which again, at that time, was a big deal. By the age of
seventeen, my Dad had bought a computer, and I was able to use one at
home, every day, with internet access too, though the world was not
quite at an internet user’s fingertips yet, in those days. Things were still

35
pretty rudimentary, relatively, compared to what the internet offers at the
time when you are this.
After secondary school, prior to enrolment into polytechnic where I
studied business, I went to work for the tax department. During that time,
I also worked as an actor, appearing on my first ever television drama
series, at the age of eighteen. At polytechnic, I lead the institution’s
debate team to its first ever trophy, though one for runners-up, in the first
year, while becoming an academic book prize winner for two subjects. I
had also written the script for a major play, performed by the institution’s
Drama Club.
As soon, as the final exams for the first year at polytechnic were
over, I lead the debate team on a bus ride across into Malaysia, for the
institution’s first ever international inter-varsity competition, at the Asian
level. And then participation in the biggest regional competition at the
Australasian level followed, down under in Melbourne, Australia.
Besides a good number of local and international debate
competitions beyond that point, and representing the institution as a
student leader at a national forum, I participated in a good number of
various other student events.
For my third year and final year, even before it began, I was invited
to participate in a student-commercial joint project between the
polytechnic and a private magazine publishing company, for course
credit points, that would work out as an extended internship as well, that
paid a generous allowance. I trained as a journalist and got my first
articles published. I subsequently trained as a graphic artiste in the
creative department. I never took a liking to designing though, and the
lesson there was, I did not have the patience, for designing or graphics. A
useful self-discovery, but it was a fun experience working with creatives
in publishing. I did learn the full process, of how publishing works, apart
from just writing and editing.
One of my dual specialisations at polytechnic, for my business
Diploma, was Corporate Communication. Being as active as I had been
through the three years, I managed the graduate with a book prize for

36
being the best overall final year student in terms of grades, for the
Corporate Communication specialisation.
Even as a foreign student in Australia, at university, struggling with
fees and living expenses, and therefore having to work twenty hours a
week (the maximum allowed during term time), to fund my expenses, I
involved myself in the university’s Debate Union, and on weekends got
involved in a local inter-faith spiritual chapter, that brought me into
contact with a good number of role models, and also lead me into
fulfilling experiences of selfless community service.
I graduated from university, with a Bachelor of Commerce, at the
age of twenty-six. I did spend almost two and half years as all men do in
Singapore, serving national service in the uniformed services, full-time.
And I missed the bit in this story so far, about blowing up a year in
secondary school with a spectacular failure (but that is something to
reflect upon for a later point in this book), and cumulatively, things
added up, to see me graduate a little later, than most persons would leave
college or university around the world, with a Bachelor’s.
Before forty, I taught and trained myself, to be a Professional
Futurist. I have started two businesses simultaneously, both of which, at
the time when I am writing this book, have run for more than seven
years. I have acted in almost a dozen video, film or television projects
since leaving university. I have also coached debaters at ten different
schools in the past half a dozen years alone, juggling that with the
commitment it takes, to keep two businesses going, up to the time of
writing this book. I founded and set up the residents committee at the
new estate I moved into when I bought my first home with my wife, as
the founding Chairperson, also setting up a fully functioning centre for
that committee (and community) from scratch, in under two years, and
the initial activities, all of which are still running at this time as I write
this here, before walking away, towards greater, better priorities. And I
have done all of that, being as most people about my age ordinarily
would be, married for a decade, with bills and mortgage to pay, and
having two kids along the way. And I am an ever-present hands-on

37
father. And I am a hardcore serious gamer (I wish I could insert a smiley
here, but wait, it is an e-book, so why not?) .
When Covid-19 brought activity, including that of business, to a halt,
I started to pen this book, refusing to sacrifice my time, for nothing.
Off course, I have not presented my full or even partial biography, or
my entire resume herein. That is not the purpose or objective of this
book, and really, there is neither a need, nor a place, for that much detail
about myself herein. Whatever I have shared, I have done so, to make a
point; I have been busy. I have done more, much more, than what I have
shared herein. All I needed to do here however, was to share, a sample,
as an example, of myself, to tell you, that I do not practice what I preach,
but that I am preaching, what I have been practicing. And in this chapter,
I admittedly am indeed preaching. I am preaching to you, to get busy.
Not because I have been busy, and therefore I have not wasted my time,
but because you need to be busy as well, so as not to waste your time.
And even though I myself concede this as a fact, that I am preaching
to you in this chapter, this chapter, like the sum of this book in entirety,
is not about me, or my preaching. It is about necessity. Your necessity
specifically. To draw rich, deep and diverse, fulfilling experiences. To
make your life worthwhile. That is not just what this chapter or what this
book is about. Your whole life is about that; being worthwhile.
Worthwhile, not ordinary. And worthwhile, for you, yourself.
What I have gained from my own busy life, is that I have had fun. I
have enjoyed the different activities, be they artistic, sporting or
professional. I have experienced happiness in and from them.
And yet, each piece of activity I have engaged myself in, at each
point in my life, has prepared me, for future activities, from which I
could derive the experiences of more fun and happiness.
I enjoy strategy. I work on strategies for a living. Playing board
games like chess and Risk, involve strategy. While playing those games,
I have enjoyed myself and I have felt happy each time. As I have played
such games, each and every time, I have been exercising my brain,
developing and training my thought process, to be more alert, focused,
sharp in attention, and strategic. My experience from and through board

38
games does not translate directly, into a competency for business
strategy, applicable, to practical real life. However, the experience from
and through board games, certainly prepares the mind for the rigour of
strategy formulation, in various contexts, including for business. It is a
sort of an endurance training for the mind, just as running kilometres is a
form of endurance training for the outward physical body that athletes
would need. This is an example, of how smaller things, help with and
lead to, bigger, better and greater things.
The point here is, not to just fill time with activity, for the sake of
being busy. How often do you hear people utter the phrase “killing
time”? When someone is bored, that person engages in activity to “kill
time”. Why be bored? Occupy yourself constantly, to have fun, so that
you will not be bored. There are people whom you may have heard
saying, “I did not have much to do”. Why be in such a situation? To then
have to “kill time”?
When you kill something, it is no more. When your time is no more,
remember, you will be no more. When you run out of time, your life will
be over. You will be dead. Killing time, is to kill yourself. It is a bad
thing. Why do that?
Don’t kill time. Use time instead. Use time usefully, to have fun,
both now, and later. Do things now that you enjoy right now, that will
enable you to do more things, that are different in variety, that will bring
more enjoyment and pleasure, at a later point in time.
If you are studying, find ways, to make your study experience
enjoyable. Try to study, if you have the option or options, that which
would most entertain your mind. Go to an institution to study, where you
will most likely feel comfortable and a sense of belonging, and where
you will enjoy the atmosphere.
If you are looking for a job, pick a job, that will be fun to do, in a
company, where as far as possible, the culture and environment will be
enjoyable for you.
If you starting a business, do something, that you find most
meaningful or valuable. Don’t worry about the profit. If you genuinely
feel that there is value in your work, or in the product that you are

39
offering, whether it is a good or a service, and if you do what you need
to, to deliver that product efficiently, into the hands of someone who
would need that product, the profits will eventually follow.
It is when someone decides to call himself or herself an entrepreneur,
and the whole, sole and primary objective is, “I want to sell something”,
to make money, and it is just that, it is right then, that the question comes
into play; why would anyone find the product, of such a business,
meaningful enough, to be valuable, in a monetary sense, to part with
money, to acquire, rather than to buy an alternative or substitute product
that either already exists or that someone else is offering?
If you yourself are not passionate about your business, for something
about it invoking happiness, in fact, ecstatic happiness, in you, why and
how, would it, or should it, appeal to anyone else, enough to be worth a
monetary value?
If you are a graphic artiste in a marketing or creative department,
would anyone in your company, or would any client, internal or external,
find meaning in your work, in the designs that you come up with, if those
designs don’t make you happy, genuinely, to begin with?
Therefore, the idea, is to first do, what you yourself will be happy in
and with, without regard for results, rewards or return at the forefront or
at the beginning of things or decisions, and then to do those things right,
correctly, with your diligence, consistently and persistently. If your belief
is genuine and well founded, the results, the rewards and returns, will
more likely than not, positively come to you.
Nine out of ten businesses, worldwide, fail, within the first three
years. That is ninety percent of all new businesses or start-ups never
seeing their third anniversaries or birthdays. Out of the ten percent that
survive the three-year mark threshold, nine out of ten fail or fold, before
hitting the five-year mark. That is a pretty high failure rate. What is the
reason? It is an important question to answer.
Such a high failure rate, in business, occurs, because the very
motivations behind most new businesses are wrong, to begin with. Most
new businesses commence, with intentions, or worse, misconceptions, of
quick wealth or profit. Again, it is important to reiterate the truth, that no

40
one goes into any business or any reason other than to make money. The
problem with most businesses however, is that, the want to make money,
is the only real reason. No business of such a sort, really ever survives. It
is not difficult to establish this. Any business or enterprise that has been
around for more than five years, has one thing in common. And that is,
the founder or owner of such a business, loves his or her job; nurturing
that business or enterprise, and delivering those products, that the
business or enterprise is about. That very act of producing that product,
getting others to see its value enough to buy it, and then putting that
product into the buyer’s hands, and then to keep that buyer coming back,
is what businesspeople behind all the businesses that survive more than
five years find deep and genuine personal happiness in. And that in
effect, pays their bills. The money comes. The businesspeople get their
deserved income.
And because such businesspeople have the right reasons, to be in
business, their motivations are right, and those motivations suffice, in
ensuring, that those persons work very hard on their respective
businesses. To make a business last and work, and then pay, is not like
cooking instant noodles where you empty the contents of a ready pack
into a pot, then you add hot water, you let it boil for a few minutes and
you are done. That is not how any business or enterprise can actually
work.
To run a business, you cannot set fixed hours. There is no such thing
as a four or five- or six-day work week. There is no concept of weekend
or a public holiday. There are no vacations. When you are sick, you go to
the doctor, but there is in practical reality, no such thing as sick leave. Do
you ever take a break from parenting the child you are raising? With any
business, no matter what stage it is at or how successful it gets, until you
give it up to someone else, you sell it off or you pass on from this world,
your relationship with your business, is supposed to be just like that,
between a parent and a child. That is the only way, to make any business
work, at all. It is a twenty-four-seven, three-hundred and sixty-five day a
year, lifelong responsibility.

41
Yet, business owners or founders, of enterprises who survive the
five-year mark, do not complain, because they do not have a reason to,
just like the mother of that baby, who changes those soiled diapers.
Those business owners or founders are happy in, with, over and for, that
business or enterprise they have started. They have started it for their
happiness, and that business is now the source of their happiness,
whatever stage or state it is in. And that, is the biggest reward, bigger,
even, than the money it brings. Those business owners or founders, could
have made money by other means, such as by working for someone else.
The happiness they find, is in the business they are running now. And
that is time, and life, well spent. As busy, as it gets.
Despite being busy, and very much so, with starting their own
businesses, that last past five years, and then keeping them running,
businesspersons who succeed in lasting and earning as such, do not live
out their lives in singular pursuits. They are not single-issue persons,
who only think about and concern themselves with their companies, their
products or their business issues. They get involved in art, in one way or
another. They get involved in social and community service, beyond
philanthropy achieved through simply signing cheques or transferring
funds electronically. They partake in sport. They involve themselves,
hands-on, in their children’s lives.
You can imagine, that the notion or concept, of free time, does not
exist for most such businesspersons you will ever meet. When you are
such a businessperson, and something goes wrong, with your physical
well-being, and the doctor wards you, at the hospital, the first thing you
get delivered to your bed, in this day and age, if you are conscious, and
able to see, with fingers working, is a laptop, and it will not be surprising
or unusual. And yet, somehow, your children can’t claim that you are
absent from their lives. In short, this is the entrepreneurial spirit and
mindset. One, that is fulfilling.
Yet you do not need to be an entrepreneur or a businessperson, to
live a fulfilling life, with benefits similar or the same, that the
entrepreneurial spirit and mindset bring with them. Those benefits of

42
fulfilment are not exclusive to only people who start or run enterprises
from the top.
You don’t need to start an enterprise or run one from the top to be
busy. However, it is another thing, that a blanket perception has been
created for many of us, about being busy, in a negative way. Being busy,
is something that has too commonly come to be associated, with being
occupied with activity, that is burdensome, troublesome, tedious, that
one rather not being doing, because a significant part or some of it, is not
enjoyable or is not meant to be for enjoyment.
Indeed, amongst the busiest people you may know, it probably is
true, that most of them, are not having much fun. They probably do much
of what they get accomplished in a day, because of a sense of, “I have
to”, without being able to experience happiness from it.
You have to earn your own lunch. You have to earn your keep. To
survive, let alone thrive, you have to play your part in the world, and
contribute with your labour.
Being busy, with contributing your labour, and being busy having
fun, are not two opposites however. They are not mutually exclusive of
or to each other. They are not alternative options or substitutes to each
other. Not necessarily at least. It is a matter of approach and mindset.
You have the option, to be optimally busy, as much as your human
physical state allows you to be, as such, that you are making effective
productive contribution of labour in the world around you, with every
effort, with all your time, and yet you are having fun throughout, at the
same time.
We look up to and admire sportspeople, who play their respective
sports professionally, and they enjoy it. While they do what they enjoy
on a full-time basis, they get paid for it, often very handsomely, to do
just that. And while it is a fact that not everyone can earn a living by
playing a sport professionally, there surely is something, that you would
enjoy doing full-time no less than a top footballer playing for a top-flight
club, for the highest dollar, doing which, while you may not make a
fortune, you would nonetheless make enough, for you to sustain a decent
life.

43
It is a matter of knowing yourself and what you enjoy. It is a matter
of getting your priorities right. To be blunt, it is quite possible a reality,
that most people who you’d consider busy around you, are people who
have a plan, for an end, a destination point, for which they need
monetary capital as a resource, and they have submitted themselves in
slavery, of that goal. The journey is not fun, because slavery cannot be
fun. And hence the common negative perception of being busy equating
to something negative. Some call it a happy problem. It is a problem
nonetheless. And the idea that a problem is a cause or factor for
happiness, is a challenge to sound logic.
Why not prioritise instead, enjoying the journey, as the monetary
capital keeps streaming in? And then being just as busy, as those other
folks, who are busy pursuing a planned destiny that may or may not
come, because life and death are not predictable?
If you are going to be busy either way, to make good use of your
time, here in this life, does it not make greater sense, to be busy, in ways
that fulfil you, optimally, right now in the present? And then make that
occupation, with economic activity, a part of your life as such, that it
does not define all of you, because you are able to effectively balance it,
with multiple other hats, so that you get the best out of all the different
facets of life, within your reach or access. Have fun with occupational
work, and have fun serving others, parenting your children, romancing
your spouse, creating artwork, scoring that goal on the football field with
your team on a Sunday morning, and so on.
And if you are currently, or most of the time, living a busy life, and
you find it overwhelming, draining and you feel you are not living the
life you should, you are precisely the reason why this book has come into
existence, because the problem in your life is not the fast that you are
busy, but rather, the problem is that you are busy with the wrong things
and priorities, that are wrong, for you. What you now need to do, is
freeze. Halt everything. Take a break. Step out of the picture, the whole
picture, or rather in fact, the entire frame, of your life, and then look at
the whole of it, from the outside, and realign your focus on the priorities
that are right for you. And if you fail to spot those priorities, you need

44
the erase the entire picture, and you need to start redrawing or repainting
the whole picture, all of it, afresh, from blank, on a fresh new canvas. It
can be done, and it is not as difficult, as the idea, of it may seem.

45
Chapter Five: Your Choices
“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”
-Carl Jung (Swiss Psychiatrist and Founder of Analytical
Psychology, 1875-1961)
In Chapter Four you read about persons living busy lives, hoping to
live out a planned destiny at the end of a timeframe, that they may get to,
or they may not, because of the unpredictable nature of life and death. In
that chapter you also read about the negative perception about being
busy.
Throughout this book so far, you have read about how life is finitely
limited, and that you do not have an idea as to how much time you have
left, but the very purpose of your life, or the purpose of you, is to be
happy, in the time, that you have, here, now, in the life that you have, or,
for the remaining amount of time, that you have left. You need to make
the most of all the time you have, to be just that, happy, in as many units
of that time, as possible.
In Chapter Two of this book you read about the idea, notion and
concept of creating yourself, to be happy.
This chapter begins with the preceding recap of the core messages so
far in this book, because this chapter, is a metamorphosis, of all that you
have read in this book up until the end, of Chapter 4.
You need to create a busy you, that is busy in the pursuits that are
optimally productive in ultimately delivering happiness, as an
experience, to you, in the present, continuously and endlessly, through
the course of the future, for as long as you live.
You are what you create yourself to be. If you succeed at creating
yourself correctly, you are happy, and therefore, fulfil the purpose of
you, and your life. If you get it wrong, you may create a wealthy you, or
a famous you or a successful you in all kinds of ways, but you may not
live out an optimally happy life for yourself.

46
So far in this book, the question of how you create yourself, has not
yet been addressed. That question, begins to be addressed, from this
chapter onwards.
In and throughout this chapter, a major concession also needs to be
made; unfortunately, happiness, is neither universal, nor guaranteed as a
possibility, for every human being born, at least up until this point, in the
human story. For the foreseeable future, there is no sign as of today,
offering hope of this tragic reality foreseeably changing.
If you are reading this book however, you are definitely in a
situation, that is better than one, where it would be necessary to concede,
that in such a situation, there is no happiness, or that, a person cannot be
happy.
The type of situations, of war, extreme famine, oppression, tyranny,
where one’s life is arbitrarily, helplessly and brutally, either, at the mercy
of the powerfully armed cruel human beings who have lost regard for
humanity, or, at the mercy of nature from which one has no exit, are
those where we must concede, that it is senseless and futile idealism, to
give persons in such situations hopes of happiness.
Take Libya for example, at the time when this book is being written.
First, it went through decades under a brutal, decadent, rogue
dictatorship. Then it endured endless, senseless, aimless, factional
violence. Then a part of it was occupied by the terrorist group called
ISIS. Even with the decline of ISIS, peace is absent, and getting out of
the country is not an option for most Libyans. For this book, or rather,
for any book, to encourage or guide alleviation, or happiness in readers,
in such situations, would not make any sense. This book at least, was not
written, to serve the needs of persons in those situations. It should not be
realistically expected that anyone living in such a situation should or
would be reading such material. Such a person, would be in a situation,
where all that person’s time, is about survival, with safety absent.
Where not in a situation such as people living in Libya at the time
when this book is being written, or similar, then, whatever the
circumstances of your birth, upbringing, nurture, education and

47
surrounds, what you experience, most innately, most intimately, at your
deepest core, of the mind, remains a choice, that you make for yourself.
Pragmatically, it must be conceded, that external factors, beyond the
locus of your control, do influence the opportunities and threats that
come before you. We cannot deny or discount that realistically or
sensibly.
For a child born in abject poverty, in a corrupt and backward,
underdeveloped nation, run by a government that does not or cannot hold
in priority, the alleviation of its weakest or poorest, it is understandable,
that there are uneven, unjust and unreasonable odds, for that child, to
even get decent schooling perhaps, let alone, getting to grow up to go to
university.
Yet, such a child, still has options. The child, can grow up, to loath
and wallow, in a situation, of resignation, surrender to circumstances and
helplessness. The child can grow up, to grow old resenting life. The child
can live out till old age, a miserable life, even without further
aggravating events after an arbitrary birth into disadvantage.
Alternatively, that child, at some point, of growth, can decide, to
make the most, of what he or she has arbitrarily received, along with the
rest of the world’s human population, for himself or for herself; life.
Often enough, we get inspiring examples, of young athletes, who
emerge from poverty no one in the first world can imagine, or would
want to imagine, out of some of the world’s least developed nations in
Africa, to gain worldwide fame, acquire an immense fortune, and all
without ever having had a shot at proper schooling or even decent
housing through their upbringing. They are probably not the only such
people to rise above circumstances as they do, to become celebrity
wealthy, successful and happy, but the nature of professional sport is
such, that going professional in it makes people famous. There certainly
would be far more people who do not gain fame, being born and raised in
highly challenged circumstances, who still however nonetheless, make
the most of the life that they have, and live it happily, even though most
of them may not ever climb out of poverty.

48
It is easier off course to believe in such a concept, when one himself
or herself, in not in a challenged situation as such. Yet, while poverty can
present circumstances that can trigger and cause grief, poverty itself does
not have to necessarily equate to a state of definite perpetual
unhappiness. Siddharth Gautama Buddha relinquished a royal life, and
right to a throne, of a mighty and prosperous kingdom, as have many
others throughout history, to live out their lives as renunciant monks.
Poverty is the absence of material possession, including, money,
primarily. By that standard, most monks if not all, are poor, but
throughout history, most of them, have not been made out to be, or
perceived to be, unhappy. Not only that, on the contrary, throughout
history, such monks, have inspired contentment, happiness and life goal
accomplishment in countless others from generation to generation.
Monks or renunciants aside though, it is reasonable, and realistic,
that if you are not able to feed yourself and your family, you should, be
unhappy. There is no reason to be happy there. As to how you confront
that situation though, to climb out of the unhappy state, into, or at least
towards a happier one, is where likely, you have options.
If you are reading this book, you have a sufficient foundation at
least, to have choices, that can lead you to a happy fulfilling life, because
you have literacy, to begin with. On top of that, having been able to
acquire this book, indicates that you have some access, at least to
information. It is in information, that the trigger for empowerment lies.
If you are reading this, you are not in abject poverty. If you are
reading this, likelihood is, that you are not in a warzone. You are not in
an oppressed state or at the receiving end of a genocidal situation. Do not
mistake this perspective for optimism. It is a pragmatic view.
It is wrong to say, that if you have food on the table, clothes on your
back, a family to love you and a roof to sleep under, you are in a good
situation, and that, there are many out there who are worse off than you
or have far less. Our situations differ. And we are not here, living, on this
planet, to gloat, at not being in a dire situation, while others are suffering
or dying in dire situations. That is not evolution. Such thinking, such
attitude, or behaviour, is symptomatic, of devolution, of the human

49
mindset. The purpose of both this book and yourself, is to evolve, rather
than to devolve.
Even if you have had schooling, you have a roof over your head,
food on the table, clothing on your back, and a family, you may not be
okay, you may not be fine, things may not be alright with you, and you
may not be without suffering, challenges and problems. We need to
acknowledge this. You need to acknowledge this. You cannot deal with
or confront something, without acknowledging it.
To begin acknowledgement, the first thing you need to do, is to not
compare, your state of being or your situation, with that of another,
whether in anyone’s perception, that person may be better off than you or
worse off than you.
Each person needs to deal with his or her own respective individual
situation. You need to deal with yours. So do not compare your problems
with those of any other. Do not compare your happiness with that of any
other. Do not compare your life with that of any other. Do not compare
your achievements with that of any other. Do not compare your potential
with that of any other. Do not compare your challenges or disadvantages
or handicaps with those of any other. Do not compare abilities. Do not
compare resources or access. Do not compare, anything.
Focus, on you, on your life and on what you have. Focus, on what
you need and desire. Focus, on what you need to make of your life, and
on how you are going to make your life, what you need it to be, for you.
If medals were given out, for a competition, if there were one, on
how best a life is lived out, through comparisons, then assume you won
such a medal, at the of your life. What would you do with it, in your final
instance of physical consciousness, before death? Such a competition, as
well as such an accolade, will be worthless, and your life will be wasted,
spent in pursuit of it.
If you are an athlete, compete. If you are an actor, dive into the
character, and bring it to life, to the best of your imagination, creativity,
feeling, passion and understanding, to the best of your abilities, without
thinking or caring about any praise or accolade or recognition. As an
actor, you just play the character, as best as you see it fit, along, with the

50
direction and explanation by the director. There are some jobs or tasks or
activities, in life, that are about competition, to make life fun. Life, itself,
is not a competition. Competition in a sport, brings pleasure.
Competition in life, brings stress, anguish, frustration and tears, none of
which, are worthwhile, for none of them, fulfil the purpose, of life itself.
Rather, those things impede that fulfilment.
Given that life is finitely limited, you do not have time, to waste on
things, that life is not at all about, such as competition where, or in forms
that, it is not necessary. So therefore, do not waste time with comparing
your state, with that of others. What you do need to compare however,
are your choices, your options and your alternatives, for yourself. Make
it about you. Keep it about you. This is not how you become selfish or
self-centred or self-pivoted, by any definition. This is how, you become
worthwhile, to and for yourself, and then, useful to others around you, so
that they may experience happiness, with and through your presence in
their surrounds, within their reach and in their lives.
Before you get thinking about those choices, those options or those
alternatives, you need to get very honest with yourself, at your innermost
level. This requires personal space and isolation.
Lock yourself up, solitarily, in a silent room, or go to an
unfrequented quiet place you know of, that you are comfortable at, away
from people, and sit alone. Not everyone needs to do this, but to be free
of external influences and to be able to think freely, deeply and
thoroughly, some people do. The point is, to think freely, deeply,
thoroughly, without external influences upon your thoughts, with
complete honesty, with yourself, for yourself.
What you need to think about as such, is what makes you happy or
what gives you happiness. Think of happiness, that is lasting, that is
deep, that you will be content and satisfied with. Start with, what is
happiness, the feeling and sensation of it to you. Then, think of what
gives you that feeling. The answer that lies there, is what you need to
prioritise doing in and with your life.
You cannot just be fixated or devoted to doing one thing alone with
your life. Monks and Yogis do not live out their lives, on a single act of

51
chanting a mantra for example. That cannot take one too far or it cannot
last for too long, for practical reasons. There is much more to life, than
one act or activity or a single source of happiness.
When you think of what gives you the feeling of happiness, think of
a realistic, practical list of different things, that cover the different facets
and aspects of life, that you want to live out being involved in, from
relationships, to learning, to work, to hobby and everything else that
make up the hats that you would wear as a person, throughout your life.
If necessary, write record this list on a piece of paper, as you think of it.
That list of things that make you happy, things that give you that
feeling of deep lasting happiness, need to become your priorities,
because they need to be the ultimate objectives and directions of your
life. And if you are truly and genuinely honest a person, with yourself,
this really is not a long process. On the contrary, it is rather
instantaneous. What follows after however, is not a straightforward
process. Not impossible. Not as difficult perhaps as it might be imagined.
Still, not straightforward at all by any means, measure or definition.
Rather, it is quite very complex and complicated.
What do you do, when your honesty with yourself reveals, that your
happiness is not in the way you have been living your life to the present
moment?
When being honest with yourself, in where your actual real
happiness lies, the truth that emerges from your deep honest thinking,
may be in contradiction, with your current job, nature of occupational
work, your career choices made for whatever reasons as they were made
prior to that point, and your whole career trajectory. It could mean, that
there is a contradiction or a huge variance between what makes you
happy, and the that relationships you are invested in or involved in.
Your relationships and your career, form the central core of your life.
They are the most sensitive, critical, complex and complicated
ingredients or constituents of your whole life story. Yet, they form the
very heart cum brain centre of your life. Once you have the both of them
sorted, and in sound state, you have a stable foundation, and the rest, gets
easier, to take care of.

Evolve

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