Dr. Heathcliffe successfully treats a zombie virus patient from another country who was seeking asylum. The hospital administrators question whether they can afford treatment for the patient. Dr. Heathcliffe argues all patients deserve treatment regardless of citizenship or ability to pay. He pays for her treatment himself. It is later revealed that asylum seekers are entitled to NHS healthcare while their application is pending, and the hospital has a duty to continue life-saving treatment if unable to pay or return home. Dr. Heathcliffe's actions were justified under these rules.

1. Aches and Pains
Scene 1 – on street somewhere.
*Dr Heathcliff leaving hospital, throws off coat, puts on sunglasses – adoring lady (FD1 and FD2)
under each arm.*
Dr H: Ahh, another successful day saving lives. I didn’t think little Timmy was going to pull through,
but dammit, I’m good.
Nurse Nancy runs out from hospital waving paper
Nancy : Dr Heathcliffe, Dr Healthcliffe!!
Dr H: Ahh, nancy, what’s up?
Nancy: Miss Motulas tests are in – I’m afraid it’s Zombie virus!
Dr H: Damnit Nany. Where’s my coat?? Sorry ladies, I’ll send you a prescription...for pleasure *they
swoon*. Nancy – start Miss Motula on anti-retrovirals and maybe close off the morgue for a bit...
Scene 2 - two docs at a table, having lunch. D1, D2.
D1: You hear about the new patient on the infectious disease ward? Comes in here with that new
zombie virus coughing away! And not a word of English!
*zombie walks past – uuuuurgh*
D1: See??
D2: Oh yes I did her skin test! Poor little thing, her arms were absolutely tiny and her skin was as dry
as paper, the state of these zombie camps they stay in must be absolutely dreadful, and it can’t be
easy coming to a brand new country...
D1: Yeah it’s a shame but you know i was reading up the other day, it costs over £70,000 to treat
each of these people – and how are they going to pay it back? Zombies can’t work! You know we’ve
had a patient who we’ve had to deny treatment to because NICE ruled it cost ineffective, plus with
all these staff being laid off....I mean surely we should be looking after our own first?
D2: That’s only the cost if she has the multi-resistant strain, it’s about £5000 to treat normal zombie
virus...the same costs as TB actually.
D1: Even still, I mean it’s not just the fact she’s no longer human, you never used to see the virus
until the zombies slowly started moving along the channel tunnel - if we treated everyone that came
over the borders, well...why pay for something in one country if you can come over here for free?
What’s it called health tourism?

2. D2: Well I sort of see where you’re coming from but technically she’s an asylum seeker – she’s left
her country because it was so awful there – doesn’t she deserve a chance to start afresh and look for
new brains here?
D1: I’m not saying she doesn’t! I just think that it’s unfair we pay taxes and they get to take
advantage of this health service for free – it’s a human service for human citizens! I mean can we
afford to look after all these people when the economy is in meltdown? You’re such a liberal
democrat.
D2: I find that offensive.
Scene 3 – Office.
Dr H on phone: What do you mean you don’t know if we can fund the treatment? I have a sick
patient – she needs treated!
A matter of budgeting? What? That doesn’t even make sense, can’t the admin monkeys sort it out?
Listen here – The first principle of the NHS is The NHS will provide a universal service for all based on
clinical need, not ability to pay- Healthcare is a basic human right. Unlike private systems, the NHS
will not exclude people because of their health status or ability to pay....
Well yes I did read that off Wikipedia – but how dare you imply that has cheapened my argument!
Look, I’m doctor, a damn good one, I’m also an excellent lover. However I am NOT an accountant
and I do not work for bloody border patrol.
Yes, yes go talk with your superior, but don’t you DARE let your prejudices of what makes a “human
citizen” stand in the way of treating this woman
(angrily)...Well fine even if cost is an issue, chew on this – this woman has infectious zombie virus –
she is a ticking timebomb...if you want to do this in terms of cost then think about the financial
implications of having another 10 zombies patients walk very slowly through the door in 6 days time
– then another 10 for each of those...That’s like....*thinks* 1000 times the cost!
*zombie nurse Nancy walks past window – Dr H watches*
Nancy – noooooooooo!!
My responsibility is to my patients!! It is inhumane for me to refuse treatment to this woman, I’m
going to pay for this woman out of my own pocket, yes I know there will be legal implications but I
will take it up with the BMA – I am a doctor, I must treat!
*slams phone down – runs out of office into lift*
Zombie fight scene.

3. Scene 4
Dr H: Nancy! Take these!!
*Nancy returns from zombie state*
Nancy: Dr Heathcliffe! You saved me!
Dr H: Yes, and Miss Morula, she was reluctant to take the pills, apparently her uncle took similar
ones when he had the same illness and it only increased his appetite for brains...I had to slowly
explain to her the risk of the pills and side effects but explained to her she was better taking the pills
as the virus itself would be much worse, and that we would monitor her closely for any
changes....She was also pretty upset we would have to keep her in isolation while we finished the
treatment but i explained she would be kept comfortable..*looks off into distance*
Nancy: is something else on your mind?
Dr H: Damnit Nancy, I took my own initiative to treat the patient and now I worry I’m in trouble with
the medical board, they said they’d be watching me closely after the unfortunate ward 9 bikini party
I organised....
Nancy: but Dr Heathcliffe, that’s what I was just coming to tell you! I just remembered that in my
previous career as a medical malpractice advisor we had a very similar case to this! Any asylum
seekers coming to this country, be they human or zombie, is entitled to NHS health care while their
application is pending. They can also apply for additional help with healthcare costs such as cream
for dry skin and dental care.
Dr H: Yes but i was not aware of whether her application was still going through – what if it was
unsuccessful?
Nancy: well in that case, if the patient is unable to pay for healthcare, is unable to get back to their
own country due to circumstances outside their control, and have a serious condition such as
zombie virus or tb, the hospital must continue to treat or it is considered a violation of human
rights..
Dr H: thank god for that – so I did the right thing?
Nancy: well many of these cases are at the hospital discretion, but i think you would have a good
case if the board do decide to take it up with the board...
Dr H: you know Nancy, you’re sort of beautiful when you’re being all corporate and not trying to eat
my brain...
Nancy: Oh Dr Heathcliffe!
*Walk off into distance*