Dojo Con 09
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My presentation for DojoCon 2009 talking about compliance, where it fails, and how to make life better.
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Dojo Con 09
- 1. Compliancy, Why Me? Living with the Compliance Staff, a BSOFH Guide Michael Smith
- 3. Compliance is the arsenic and cyanide of the information security world! Source: Wikimedia Commons
- 5. But First, a Dramatization… Hi, I’m from the Compliance Team, I’m here to help!
- 6. But First, a Dramatization… And the Security Engineering Team is glad to have you here!
- 7. But First, a Dramatization… Here’s a report for you too look at on our current compliance status.
- 8. But First, a Dramatization… Wow, it’s big.
- 9. But First, a Dramatization… Your project is out of compliance with Section 15 of the FROBITZ Act of 1994. This is troublesome!
- 10. But First, a Dramatization… First of all, what the hell does that mean? And secondly…why should I care?
- 11. But First, a Dramatization… It means you have to fix it.
- 12. But First, a Dramatization… I can't do it—the YoyoDyne Frobulator is the only product that fits our needs.
- 13. But First, a Dramatization… But the rulebook says...
- 14. But First, a Dramatization… I’m not going to do it. Besides, the rulebook was made by a bunch of old men who have no idea what technology is.
- 15. But First, a Dramatization… You suck and are a rogue cowboy
- 16. But First, a Dramatization… You suck and are a wannnabe data center lawyer.
- 17. But First, a Dramatization… This guy is brain-damaged and I can’t work with him. We’ll never be secure now. This guy is brain-damaged and I can’t work with him. We’ll never be secure now.
- 19. With compliance, you can strong-arm people into doing your bidding. Source: Wikimedia Commons
- 32. Source: Wikimedia Commons So there isn’t any magic where we become ultra-compliant?
- 39. The more non-compliant you are, the more we can forgive you for! Source: Wikimedia Commons
- 46. Source: Wikimedia Commons Compliancy: it’s not so bad after all as long as you’re driving the oxcart!
Editor's Notes
- The following presentation contains insights and opinions gathered from over 15 years of combined experience in the government INFOSEC space. It’s interspersed with some humor – security presentations can be pretty dry without it. We hope that this presentation will provide you with the impetus to reemphasize security within your organization, and feel good about doing so. The subtitle means “Automatic, Practical, Good!” and is a play on the Ritter Sport tagline “Quadratisch, Praktish, Gut!” which translates as “Square, Practical, Good!” http://www.ritter-sport.de/
- Mike’s blog is at http://www.guerilla-ciso.com/ Mike teaches for Potomac Forum http://www.potomacforum.org/ Contact information for Mike is at the end of this presentation.
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- Artwork by Melanie Smith
- If you would like us to speak for your event or group, please ask. If you would like to learn more and to keep up-to-date on groundbreaking Government security news, subscribe to the guerilla-ciso blog feed. Presentation released under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 License. More information available at http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/