This document provides guidance on respectfully disagreeing and negotiating in American culture. It outlines three patterns for disagreeing: (1) starting with "I" and asking for clarification, (2) stating disagreement respectfully by saying "I'm not sure I agree" or similar, and (3) stating a conclusion. It also demonstrates students politely negotiating a joint class task by one asking for clarification, another suggesting how to proceed, and agreeing to define concepts. The use of modals and phrases like "why don't we" signals sensitivity without a designated leader. Overall, the document advises starting disagreements respectfully by taking responsibility for one's perspective and

1. Disagreeing in AmericanDisagreeing in American
CultureCulture
How to do this respectfully

2. Pattern OnePattern One
(1) I’m not sure
I understand
the point you
are making
about the
problems with
this contract
Start with “I” not you.
Take the responsibility
for not understanding

3. Pattern OnePattern One
(a)Yesterday, you said
that this clause
would take effect
immediately. (b) But
today, you seemed to
be saying that it
would take effect
after the first of
the year. (2) Could
you explain?
Contrast the two ideas
Ask for clarification
(Could you explain
Could you clarify

4. Pattern Two More OvertPattern Two More Overt
Mr.
Franklin - I’m
not sure I
agree with
this
interpretatio
n of the
contract.
State your
disagreement
respectfully
I’m not sure I agree
I’m uncomfortable
with
I don’t know about
that

5. Pattern Two More OvertPattern Two More Overt
It seems to me
that these
figures do
not reflect
an accurate
tally.
State your point of
view

6. Pattern Two More OvertPattern Two More Overt
Therefore, I don’t
think we
consider that
this is an
effective case.
State your conclusion

7. Negotiating WorkNegotiating Work
Sue: Ok so what
do you guys
think about this
topic? I’m not
sure I really
understood what
the professor
wants us to do.
A version of
(I’m not sure)
What do you think?

8. Negotiating WorkNegotiating Work
Liu Yang: I think
we’re just supposed to
discuss the
difference in the
educational
philosophies of
pragmatism …
Sarah: I guess we
could start by
defining each of
these.
Polite way to state
your idea:
I think..
I suppose
Its my understanding
that
It seems that…
I guess that…

9. Negotiating WorkNegotiating Work
Why don’t we each
take one and try
to define it.
Now, how about social
reconstructionism?
Liu Yang: I’ll take
this one….
Polite way to say what
you want to do..
Why don’t we…
What do you think
about…..
How about…..
Let’s……..ok?

10. Negotiating WorkNegotiating Work
Liu Yang: I
think we’re just
supposed to
discuss the
difference in
the educational
philosophies of
pragmatism …
Sarah: I guess we
could start by
defining each of
these. Why don’t we
each take one and try
to define it.
. Is that what you
guys think?
Now, how about social
Polite way to state
your idea:
I think..
I suppose
Its my understanding
that
It seems that…
I guess that…

11. Explaining Negotiating WorkExplaining Negotiating Work
In this dialogue,
students are
“negotiating” a joint
task together. In
this case, the task
is to discuss a topic
in class. We see one
student use a similar
pattern as the covert
disagreement but
saying they are
uncertain about the
assignment. This
allows the group to
clarify for itself
what they are going
to do.
One individual
then makes a
suggestion as to
how to go about
the task. (The
group agrees and
begins the task.
Students can
easily ask one
another
straightforward
questions.

12. Explaining Negotiating WorkExplaining Negotiating Work
Also notice the use of …supposed to discuss the
difference…
…I guess we could start by defining… …Why don’t
we each take one…...I would think so...
The use of the modals and the “why don’t we”
signal sensitivity to one another with nobody
trying to be the “leader”.
.

13. ActivityActivity
In your groups, write and perform a brief dialogue
in which you
1. Disagree covertly with an authority figure
2. Disagree overtly with an authority figure
3. Negotiate how to create a symbol for Perfect
Cross Cultural Communication