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Cyberbullying in Social Media_FINAL without video clip_09.14.15
- 1. Social Media & Bullying Sue DeRosier Just for Girls Conference – 9/12/15
- 2. 92% of teens report going online daily – 24% who go online “almost constantly”
- 3. What is Cyberbullying? • Willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices, which includes… Spreading rumors and lies Exposing personal information Sending threatening or cruel messages or emails Pretending to be somebody else – remaining anonymous
- 4. By the Numbers 52% had been a victim of some type of cyberbullying Teen girls are 2x as likely to be the bullies and the victims 37% Experienced physical bullying at school *2014 Bureau of Justice study
- 6. How It Affects You Low self-esteem Skip school Lower grades Depression Isolation Use drugs or alcohol Thoughts or actions of suicide
- 7. Those we have lost too soon Kennedy Leroy 1999 – 2015 Chino Hills, CA
- 8. How to Protect Yourself 1. Talk to someone – a trusted adult 2. Let your parents in to your online world 3. Don’t respond to the taunts, comments or forward the information to others 4. Block their email address, cell phone number, and delete them from contacts 5. Save the evidence 6. Report their activities to their internet service provider (ISP) 7. Report it to police if threats are made
- 9. Limit Your Life Online 1. Don’t overshare 2. Be careful what you say to others online and in person 3. Keep your “friend” base to people you really know and trust. Social media is not a popularity contest, or at least, it shouldn’t be.
- 10. Let’s Talk About… Sexting Who sees the sext? 55% said they shared the sexts with more than one person Sending explicit photos of anyone under 18 is illegal – and convictions are happening
- 11. Stand Up for Others • Don’t pile on – stay above the negativity • Be an advocate for zero tolerance of bullying • Be a real FRIEND
- 12. We Are All Daniel Cui Insert video clip from Team Site library or another appropriate one
- 13. Take Home With You… 1. Don’t share EVERYTHING 2. Don’t respond to bullies – DELETE them 3. Talk to a trusted adult 4. Stand UP for others – Be an advocate for GOOD 5. Don’t be a bully yourself – Words hurt more than fists
- 14. Questions?
Editor's Notes
- Welcome – My name, little background on my involvement with Cyber, why I care, etc. What we will discuss: What is cyberbullying How it affects victims How to protect against it So, let’s get started.
- Who has a social media account? Who has more than one? What do you use? I have to admit some of these I have never heard of before, and I was told by my 13-year old son to not mention the “F” word, “Facebook” to HS girls, because according to him “only OLD people are on FB!” Let me ask you, how much time do you think you spend on your social media accounts? (responses) That’s what I thought. There are so many options and ways to stay connected these days that you can easily spend 2-4 hours per day (or more) checking and posting on accounts. Social media definitely has its place in our lives, but if not used appropriately, it can have some pretty destructive tendencies. Aided by the convenience and constant access provided by mobile devices, especially smartphones, 92% of teens report going online daily — including 24% who say they go online “almost constantly,” according to a new study from Pew Research Center. This is where cyberbullying becomes like a virus in your life…because of this device (hold up phone), the taunts and negativity is with you 24/7. But it doesn’t have to be. We’ll talk about what you can do a little later, but first we need to talk about what it is.
- What is cyberbullying? (take responses) Let me tell you a little story about myself…you see, I’m not just a Cyber Communications person. I’m not just a mom or a wife. I have also been a victim, a few times, of someone spreading negative comments about me. The latest was just about 9 years ago when I shared a very personal, private part of myself to someone I thought was a good friend. I have always lived my life “out loud,” being pretty open about who I am and what I believe. However, I didn’t stop to think about what I was telling this person, and her beliefs. The next thing I knew I was being treated differently around this group of mutual friends. It took me awhile to put two and two together, but when I did I felt incredibly betrayed, embarrassed and alone. I retreated from this group of ladies, even though they were really the only people I knew in So Cal, I moved down here from San Jose in 2003. I just knew I couldn’t trust them, and I knew they were judging me by what she told them. Eventually, though, my true friends showed themselves. They wouldn’t let me deal with this alone. They stood up to the original one who spread the gossip and negativity, and after that I started coming back little by little to different gatherings. I never fully trusted as easily after that experience, but I did learn a valuable lesson about oversharing. My “living out loud” has now been brought into a smaller, much more trusted few. I am much more hesitant about telling someone something that they may consider differently than I do.
- Can I ask everyone stand up for a minute? Now, this side of the room sit down. Take a look around…according to last year’s Bureau of Justice study, a little over half of you in the room have experienced some form of harassment or ongoing bullying online. Compare that to just 37% for physical bullying in schools. The next statistic didn’t shock me though….Teen girls are 2x as likely to be the perpetrators and the victims of online bullying. Do you know why that is? (ask a couple of girls to respond) Girls tear down with their words and emotions. For most, that is the only weapons they have. However, in many ways, verbal and emotional abuse is far more damaging than being hit in a fight. How many of have seen the movie, “Mean Girls?” Where the popular girl has her little posse of wanna-be’s and they take in a new girl at school. Yet, when she starts to gain popularity on her own, the leader of the pack turns on her. Now, you’ll have to see the rest of the movie to see how Lindsay Lohan exacts revenge. It is pretty sweet! The thing is….(click to next slide)
- Who are the bullies? Anyone! Bullying doesn’t discriminate between races or genders. It comes in all colors, ages, sizes, shapes, religions… According to a recent Girl Scouts study, there are normally two kinds of people who are likely to bully: those who are popular and those who are on the social fringes. Two ends of the spectrum. Popular kids or teens may bully because: They see it as a way to stay popular. Hurting others makes them feel powerful. Kids or teens who are less socially successful may bully because: It helps them cope with their own low self-esteem. They think it will help them fit in with their peers. They have trouble empathizing with those they hurt. But it could be someone you “thought” was a good friend, like in my story. Or the stories told by two of my nieces, both betrayed and turned on by girls they thought were their friends. When I was preparing this material I was shocked to realize how many instances of bullying I had seen in my own family. It came close to the statistics shown early.
- In a lot of ways there are little differences between cyberbullying and traditional bullying, with one big exception…online shaming can hit you anywhere, anytime because of this (hold up the phone). Where once mean kids only had access to their victim at school, playground, etc., they now have access anywhere that person is. It also hits hardest when you are alone with those screens. That is what it is intended to do. Make you or someone you care about feel alone, isolated, different. No one there to protect you. In addition, many cyberbullies have found ways to remain “anonymous,” hiding behind fake profiles or screen names that become difficult to track down. The ability for the cyberbully to hide her identity can lead to the intensification of the bullying tactics. The last line on here has become an all, too-common news story the last 5+ years. Some kid is harassed long enough that they snap. They decide the only way out is permanent.
- These are some of the faces of kids taken too soon by the effects of cyberbullying. It is tragic and senseless, and it is something the person who did the taunting has to live with the rest of their life. This last one I share is kind of personal. It came out in our local paper this summer. He went to the high school my son will attend next year. He had Asperger’s and Tourettes syndromes, which meant he struggled with regular social interactions and the Tourette’s meant he had verbal tics that I am sure was strange to other kids. It is where someone all of a sudden bursts out with a word or noise in the midst of a perfectly ordinary conversation. They can’t control it. It is an automatic nervous response. Kennedy had been bullied by a boy for several months. His parents and principal were aware of the issues, but not to the extent of Kennedy’s pain. The day after school ended he went into his room wrote a note to his parents and hung himself. I’m sure you can imagine the pain his parents, family and friends will now feel for their rest of their lives. His parting words…”maybe my death will make people realize that words can hurt as much as, if not more, than physical blows, I want to prevent anyone I can from hurting..” show a boy far beyond his years.
- Most importantly, talk to someone…your parents, teacher, pastor, principal, trusted friends. No one is ever alone in these situations, but if the people who care about you as well as the authorities don’t know what is going on, they can’t help. And as much as you think you can handle it yourself, this is THE most important time to ask for help. If you are targeted by cyberbullies, it's important not to respond to any messages or posts written about you, no matter how hurtful or untrue. Responding will only make the situation worse and provoking a reaction from you is exactly what the cyberbullies want, so don't give them the satisfaction. Preventing communication from the cyberbully, by blocking their email address, cell phone number, and deleting them from social media contacts. Report their activities to their internet service provider (ISP) or to any social media or other web sites they use to target you. Saving the evidence of the cyberbullying, keep abusive text messages or a screenshot of a webpage, for example, and then report them to a trusted adult, such as a family member, teacher, or school counselor. If you don't report incidents, the cyberbully will often become more aggressive. Reporting threats of harm and inappropriate sexual messages to the police. In many cases, the cyberbully's actions can be prosecuted by law.
- Part of the protection process is limiting what you share online. If you post your life for the world to see, someone may use your words and pictures against you. And just as a good principle, keep your privacy settings set to “friends only,” or at minimum, “Friends of friends,” but never to public. Don’t friend everyone either. Know your base. Make sure they are people you have met and trust. Think of it like hosting a party. You probably wouldn’t just throw open your doors and invite the world to your house…or would you? Let’s just say, I’m recommending you don’t! College and business recruiters routinely use social networks to learn about potential candidates, and if they see a site that is filled with party pictures, bad language and inappropriate videos, you can kiss that job or college goodbye. Over 30$ of applicants have lost positions over their social profiles. So…be wise about what you share. There is one area related to cyberbullying that starts with you, and only you, that we need to discuss…
- Teenage girls have a few reasons for why they participate in sexting: 40 percent do it as a joke, 34 percent do it to feel sexy, and 12 percent feel pressured to do it. Who will see your sext? 55% of those share them with more than one person. While nearly 70% of teen boys and girls who sext do so with their girlfriend or boyfriend, 61% of all sexters who have sent nude images admit that they were pressured to do it at least once. You can almost guarantee that those suggestive photos you think were meant for your boyfriend’s eyes only will find their way to other people. And once you break up, all bets are off on where they end up. Simply stated, sending sexts of people under 18 years of age is illegal. Beyond online reputation, teens who send sexually explicit photos can be convicted of child pornography charges and have their names permanently placed on registered sex offender lists. One Florida youth received five years’ probation and registration as a sex offender when he sent nude photos of his ex-girlfriend to her entire family and school.
- You can either be a part of the problem or a part of the solution. Which will it be? It takes courage to stand up for a friend, even more so for someone you only know in class, but bullies HATE crowds. They feed off keeping someone under their so-called power by isolating them, making them feel alone. When others take a stand, show support, they are saying “No More.” Many school districts have a zero tolerance policy on bullying, but here’s the thing…they can’t act on that if they don’t know it is going on. So, whether it is for yourself or for a friend, stand up and tell someone. When the good guys out number the bad guys, and I fully believe they do, and they stand up for one another, the negativity will have no place to live. It will have no more targets. No more victims.
- I want to close with a video I found called “We are all Daniel Cui.” Now, I know this is about a boy, not a girl, and it has a sports theme…but I think you ladies can look past that and hear the message. It is strong, and one we all need to practice in the future. Video (3 minutes)