The document details feedback on script drafts, focusing on improving character descriptions, dialogue punctuation, and clarity of actions. It outlines specific changes from client meetings, emphasizing the need for detailed choreography in scenes and proper formatting. Corrections made include alignment of text and clarification of character names to avoid confusion.

1. Feedbacksheetondraftingof scripts
Feedback sheet
Feedback log 28/11/2018
Change script to black (all text)
Add character descriptionsat the start of the entrance
Playing against on Fifa
Names in capital rest in lower case
Spacing in between the character name and text
Spacing between characters conversation is something the client has recommended me to change
Punctuation within characters dialogue
Full stop after each sentence
Goes to pick his phone, and sees its FaceTime
Ben (at phone/towards)
More descriptions of FaceTime conversation - flowing conversation with Adam and Chloe. Chloe
laughing. Show the time at the end
Chloe smiling.
Adam looks concerned
IMPROVEMENTS MADE
More detail when it comes to the actions being done by the characters.
Punctuation with thecharactersdialogue
Descriptions of theface timeconversation have been developed upon.
Feedback log 29/11/18
Meeting 2 with client
Need to make descriptions of character actions very clear and descriptive
Includetheway I want speech projected nextto the character’sname.
When talking about ‘seriesof shots’ actually name the location and whatshotsI’ll be using, label them
1, 2, 3 or a, b,c
IMPROVEMENTS MADE
‘Seriesof shots’ now includes detailsof what shots will happen specifically, how those will be
choreographed to work properly.

2. Feedbacksheetondraftingof scripts
Feedback log 4/12/18
Text needsto be fit into themiddle of the page(use tab/return/space)
Re thefight scene, change thatto a seriesof shots and bedescriptive on how I will choreograph it.
Use the correctnames for the correctcharacters, there hasbeen slight confusion where I have
duplicated thecharacter’s name.
IMPROVEMENTS MADE
Basic format errorshave been corrected, for example the text is now in the middle of the page, and is
aligned correctly.
I went back and adjusted the fight scene as there was still nota great deal of information.
Correction of which character is who.