Christine Mockford shows us how to find your authentic voice at thefuturestory
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With a degree in mathematics, Christine Mockford started her career in information technology and process engineering at Shell International and then found herself drawn towards the softer business skills when she saw how critical communication was to engaging employees and effecting change in an organisation. She is a member of Toastmasters International and regularly runs workshops on speaking with confidence and giving effective feedback. She also coaches prospective speakers and mentors individuals in her local Toastmasters club. Christine presented a fun and interactive workshop on learning how to speak with confidence and find your natural authentic speaking voice at thefuturestory- The Power of One organised by theblueballroom.
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Christine Mockford shows us how to find your authentic voice at thefuturestory
- 2. Finding your voice by Christine Mockford
- 3. Relaxed, super cool A bit anxious but OK Fear, dread
- 4. The root of our fear
- 5. Objective To demystify the process of speaking in front of an audience
- 6. What I want to address • Fear • Myths, misconceptions, beliefs • Characteristics all good speakers share
- 8. What we fear looking foolish forgetting something important feeling vulnerable & exposed FAILING PUBLICLY!
- 9. Notable failures Source: Wikipedia
- 10. Manage your fear • Accept a certain amount of fear is normal • Do it anyway • Speak as often as possible • Learn a few tricks/techniques
- 12. Myth No. 1 Speakers are born not made
- 13. Myth No. 2 There’s only one right way to do it
- 14. Myth No. 3 I need to be perfect
- 15. Myth No. 4 If I make a mistake publicly I’m finished
- 16. Myth No. 5 It’s about me and my performance
- 17. 3. Characteristics all good speakers share
- 18. Characteristics all good speakers share They’re authentic
- 19. Characteristics all good speakers share They’re knowledgeable and enthusiastic
- 20. Characteristics all good speakers share They’re confident
- 21. Characteristics all good speakers share They’re in touch with their emotions
- 22. Characteristics all good speakers share They connect with their audience
- 23. Wrap up • You can do this • Don’t let fear stop you • Accept you will make mistakes • It’s not about you • Practise. Practise. Practise
- 24. The Power of One The loss of a single voice equals the loss of an entire perspective. One voice less, one mind less, one world less. George Orwell
- 25. Get in touch: Email: chris@love-to-communicate.com Website: www.love-to-communicate.com
Editor's Notes
- Role play exercise, check how they feel about speaking in public. Where are they on the scale
- Our fear is very natural. Most people fear speaking in front of an audience more than anything else Scientists say that fear is probably hard wired in all of us and dates back to when we looked like this and when being ostracised or rejected by the group meant almost certain death. We could not survive on our own without the tribe’s, the clan’s support. So we didn’t do anything that would risk our security
- And convince you that every single one of you can be standing here, in my place, speaking to an audience And I know this because of my own journey from fear and anxiety and avoidance of speaking in public and I know this from the countless people I’ve observed, including people with very bad stammers, who have learnt a technique to help them deal with their stammer, and I have seen them stand up in front of an audience and speak. And so I know you can.
- Fear, what is that we fear, is fear necessary and what can we do about it What are some of the myths, misconceptions, beliefs around speaking in public and are they grounded in fact, are they true. If not, what is the true story What’s really important if you want to be a good speaker, what do you need to pay attention to, what characteristics and qualities do all good speakers have. What can we learn from them
- Whether someone is a failure or success depends on the time frame, the point at which we look at their lives In 1988 when Clinton was a Governor he was booed at a speech he made endorsing Dukakis for President. It was only at the end when he said “And in summary” that the crowd gave a loud resounding cheer and started clapping… Today he’s considered a charismatic, inspiring, engaging speaker JK Rowling had 12 rejections for Harry Potter before it was accepted by a publisher Thomas Edison’s famous quote “I haven’t failed 10,000 times just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” You can’t learn any new skill without failing lots of times, whether its riding a bike, learning to ski, learning a language. Failing is a fundamental part of the learning process and yet we still think there is something shameful and wrong with failing. If we want to succeed at anything we HAVE to allow ourselves to fail many times and not see that as a disaster
- Re tricks/techniques, mention we’ll do some in the workshop
- So if you’re not a born speaker you cant do this. Not true. It’s a learned skill like dancing, (think Strictly), like playing tennis, and yes there are people who have a natural talent for it but that does not mean that the rest of us can’t learn how to do it. And even those with a natural talent have to practise to improve. All of us can do it Speakers are both born and made
- Not true. Everyone has their personal style and extroverts and introverts have very different styles. If you look at the TED talks, the styles speakers use are all very different. Introverts and extroverts have a very different way of speaking. If we look at Clinton or Obama, both extroverts and then JK Rowling, they have very different styles. Extroverts generally much more effusive and bigger gestures, introverts more contained , but they draw you in in a different way., normally through language, through descriptive detail. Lots of people break all the supposed rules and are still very good speakers. Susan Cain, an introvert talks about “The power of introverts” in a TED talk and has had 6 million+ hits proving introverts can be just as good as extroverts at speaking.
- Not true. You need to be human and you need to be fully present so, if something goes wrong, it doesn’t floor you and you can respond graciously Example: Meryl Streep at Bafta’s. Errol drying up at a competition There is a fine balance between owning up to something very visible e.g. losing a shoe, very obviously drying up and apologising for something the audience can’t see e.g. if you forget a whole section of your speech, don’t apologise to your audience. The only person who knows what you were going to say is you. See if you can fit it in at a later stage.
- So I’m going to break the news to you gently. You will make mistakes. No matter how many times you do this you will have good days and bad days. What you learn along the way is that the sky does not cave in. You are still alive after you’ve made a mistake publicly. That’s always quite a surprise. We imagine it’s the end of the world. Mostly the only person who remembers what went wrong is you. The truth is you’re only finished if you don’t get up next time and speak again. As with any skill you have to keep going, keep practising and not be defeated by a disappointing performance. It will happen. Just get up and do it better next time
- No it isn’t. It really isn’t. It’s about the audience. Shift your focus away from yourself. It’s not about you. It’s all about your audience and engaging with them. They’ve given up their time, they want to be educated, amused, entertained, inspired. Give them what they want. Make sure that what you say is relevant to them and their situation It’s all about you satisfying a need in the audience. And the beauty of really taking that on board is twofold: it takes the pressure away from you if you satisfy a need in the audience they will be very forgiving. You can make mistakes, you can forget things and they wont remember your mistakes, they will remember what they’re taking away from your talk, the value you have brought to them
- I am talking about “being” and not “doing”. Doing is all about techniques and they are important and can enhance your performance but first you need to pay attention to your inner state, how you are being
- They are natural, themselves. They work with their limitations, their personality, their strengths. They don’t try to be someone else who they think is great. Their gestures are congruent, there is no mismatch between the inner and the outer person. As human beings we are very good at identifying someone who isn’t authentic and it makes us feel uncomfortable. Be yourself. The best version of yourself. It is definitely good enough
- Know your subject, prepare well, make it as interesting as possible. Show your interest and enthusiasm for your subject. Make it exciting by the way you speak about it
- Confidence doesn’t mean loud, it doesn’t mean showy. It means being confident in your material, your self. Rob Simmons Some exercises that may help: Slow down your breathing, breathe from the belly Visualise a time when you were happy, something you did was very successful, get in touch with those feelings Visualise your talk, presentation going well and how you feel afterwards. Imagine it.
- Not afraid to show how they feel whether enthusiastic, passionate, happy, sad, angry and they introduce emotion into their speech. e.g. Martin Luther King (passion), JK Rowling (fear) other TED speakers (vulnerability) If appropriate, depending on topic, situation and audience, take your attention away from your head. Take your awareness into your heart. So you can connect with feelings rather than thoughts. Decide on mood for each section of your speech. Look at what you’re going to say, break it up into sections and assign a mood to each section. This is how actors remember their lines, it’s the emotional thread that runs thru the story
- They make it seem as if they are talking to you alone. Make eye contact with your audience. Imagine you are talking to one person at a time rather than an anonymous crowd of 50 or a hundred people Involve your audience e.g. with a question Engage your audience e.g. with stories
- George Orwell once wrote that the loss of a person equals the loss of an entire perspective: “One mind less, one world less.” And I want to add to that the loss of a unique voice, your unique voice, your unique contribution is a loss to your workplace, your community. Don’t let fear stop you.