This document provides a 5-step guide to building a strong marriage. It discusses identifying whether you are in a "Doom Cycle" or "Bloom Cycle" in your relationship. The five key nutrients to cultivating a Bloom Cycle are committing to love, cherishing and respecting your spouse, being gracious and forgiving, choosing the right words, and seeking a greater shared purpose. Special attention is given to choosing the right words through biblical principles, responding to conflicts with grace and truth rather than reactions, and developing "spiritual emotional intelligence" when addressing issues.

1. Bloom!
How to Build Your Best Marriage in 5-Steps
1 © Mass Ignition

2. Signs this Module will help you
You experience times of harsh language
You feel or experience defensiveness in conversation with
your spouse
You feel your spouse is not as attentive during discussion
with you
You use or receive sarcasm
You use or receive “silence” as a form of punishment
Your discussions or conversations feel draining instead of
life-giving
You or your spouse “snaps” in conversation
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3. What you will learn from this Module
What are the four common types of responses people take
that will lead into a Doom Cycle
The 5-Step Antidote for each reaction that will deliver you into
the Bloom Cycle
What are key Biblical resources you can draw from to master
the right words?
How do you decipher what are the right words to use?
How can you go deep within yourself to understand why you
react in certain ways to certain words?
How failure to intentionally deal with choosing the right words
leads to the Doom Cycle
How to discover the right power words to use that can spin your
marriage into the Bloom Cycle
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4. Whether you are fully aware of it or not,
you are in one cycle or the other
Doom Vs.
Bloom
Cycle Cycle
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5. WHY WE DOOM
“ONENESS BROKEN”
Finances Passions/Hobbies
Family Health
Kids Career
Loss Addictions
Friends Culture
Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over
5 you…through painful toil…all the days… Gen. 3

6. HOW WE BLOOM
“ONENESS SUSTAINED”
Finances Passions/Hobbies
Family
Health
Kids
Career
Loss
Addictions
Friends Culture
…they will become one flesh Gen. 2:24
6 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph. 5:21

7. WHY WE MUST BLOOM
God patterned them after Himself. Gen. 1:27
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…so that we can be mirrors that reflect His glory 2Cor. 3:18

8. What it takes to BLOOM!
The 5 key nutrients:
•Commit to Love
•Cherish & Respect
•Be Gracious & Forgive
•Choose the Right Words
•Seek a Greater Purpose
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9. COMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVE
HOW FULL IS YOUR LOVE TANK?
Love Languages
Words
Quality Time
AGAPE Gifts
Acts of Service
FILO Physical Touch
EROS
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10. CHERISH & RESPECT
“LL=CR”
with
cherish
he she
responds without
“DOOM”
responds
respect
with
respect he she
reacts reacts
“BLOOM” without
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cherish
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11. BE GRACIOUS & FORGIVE
Without G&F With G&F
“oneness lost” attitude + rec. process
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“oneness gained”
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12. DOOMING Myth #4:
Communication gets better in time
BLOOMING Truth #3:
Communication gets better when
we learn deliberately how to
choose the right words
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13. Here’s a story of a Doom Cycle
Donna and Dan
exhibit signs that
they really need
Module #4….
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14. Here’s a story of a Bloom Cycle
Barbara and Bob
turned around
their marriage
through the
concepts found in
Module #4
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15. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS
Why?
RELATIONSHIPS ARE EITHER
DEVELOPED OR DESTROYED
BY THE WORDS THAT ARE CHOSEN
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16. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS
Biblical Principles
When words are many, sin is not absent,
but he who holds his tongue is wise.
Proverbs 10:19
The tongue has the power of life and
death… Proverbs 18:21
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17. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
James 1:19
Argument REACTING the other
Destructive offensive, names, sarcasm, violent = scarring
Disagreement REACTING issue
Harsh defensive, personalities arise = separating
Normal dialogue RESPONDING each other
Kind attentive, encouraging = supporting
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18. “SPIRITUAL EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE”
CIRCUMSTANCE
THOUGHTS
EMOTIONS
Hurt, Fear, Want, Joy
3 sec.
with self with God
REACT RESPOND
“FLESH” “SPIRIT”
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19. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS
REACT: “STAND OFF” REACT: “TELL OFF”
RESPOND
“GRACE
&
TRUTH”
REACT: “GIVE UP” REACT: “HOLD ON ”
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20. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS
REACT: “STAND OFF” REACT: “TELL OFF”
Listen
Clarify Thoughts
Identify Feelings
Right Tone, Time, Words
Find Compromise
REACT: “GIVE UP” REACT: “HOLD ON ”
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21. RESPONDING in GRACE & TRUTH
“slowing down, staying centered”
EARS = Listening (3 levels)
HEAD = Clarifying Thoughts
HEART = Identifying Feelings
MOUTH = Choosing Right Words, Tone, Time
HANDS = Praying, Compromising, Forgiving
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22. HOMEWORK:
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS
-awareness and action
1. See attached homework packet
Bonus:
Within the next 6 weeks, write a note of recommitment
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