A woman named Mary has been shot and is bleeding out in the street. Several passersby fail to help her or make the situation worse, including an old lady, a man in a suit, and a police officer. Finally, a one-armed man named Joe comes across Mary and tries to make a tourniquet with her shirt, but struggles due to having only one arm. When Joe accidentally touches Mary, her arm falls off. Feeling guilty, Joe allows Mary to reattach her arm to his body, giving him two arms. With his new arm, Joe is able to save Mary's life by tying an effective tourniquet. They decide to go get pie together.

1. MARY: Excuse me, Ma’am --. Sir!Sir!Little boy,wouldyousendforsome help,I'mdying--.Little
Boy!!YOUNG MAN,PLEASE!!!I'VE BEEN SHOT!!!
[MARYgivesup. Shetakesoff her shirt and wantsto makea tourniquetbutdoesn'tknow how.She
sits on the ground assheis very dizzy now fromtheloss of blood.An OLD WOMAN passesby,
noticesMARY and walkson withouthesitation.]
MARY: Ma'am, wouldyouplease--
OLD LADY: (Very loudly.) Ican't hear you.
MARY: I needyourhelp.I'mbleedingtodeath.
OLD LADY: How can I stop yourbleedingif Ican'tevenhearyou!
MARY: You droppedyourearphone, itisoverthere onyour left.
OLD LADY: (Very loudly) Where?Ican’t findit!
(Mary reached theearphoneand givesit to the old lady)
OLD LADY: Thank youverymuch! How can I helpyounow?
MARY: Helpme standup andmake a tourniquet.Canyoudoit forme?
(Theold lady tries to putMary backon herfeet but fails)
OLD LADY: I can’t do it,I’m notstrong enough
MARY: Overthere!Call that man, he seemsto be strong,He wouldbe able tohelpme
(Theold lady sees the man walking down thestreet)
OLD LADY: (Yelling.) Heyyouyoungman, come here,she isdying,we needhelp! Sir!!
[The MAN IN THE SUITentersquickly.]
MAN IN THE SUIT: Oh miss!Howcan I helpyou?
MARY: Thank youso much forcomingover here.Yousee,I've beenbleeding
MAN IN THE SUIT: Out of myway.I have to helpthisoldladyacross the street.Ido it everyday
and todayis nodifferent.
MARY: But I'm bleedingtodeath.
MAN IN THE SUIT: Ma'am, can I helpyouacross the street?
[OLD WOMAN hitsMAN IN THE SUITwith her caneas he tries to help her crossthe street.MARY
seemsworseoff than ever now.]
OLD LADY: Leave me alone I wantto help!
MAN IN THE SUIT: But you are an old lady,youneedhelp

2. OLD LADY: I don’tneedhelp!Are yousayingthatI’m a uselessoldlady?
MAN IN THE SUIT: No! But withrespectyoudon’tlooklike anathleticgrandma…
(The oldladystarts to cry and leavesthe scene)
MAN IN THE SUIT: Are youokay miss?
(A POLICE OFFICERentersthe scene)
MARY: Oh, thankHeavens Officer.Idon'tknow how muchlongerI would've lastedif youdidn't
come.
POLICEOFFICER: Ma'am, I'm gonnahave to ask you to move on.The signclearlyreadsno loitering
and you're litteringall overthe place.Icouldarrestyoufor that.
MAN IN THE SUIT: What are you talkingabout?!She isbleedingtodeath.Whywouldyouarrest
her?
MARY: I'm not littering.That'sblood.I'mdying!
POLICEOFFICER: That isno excuse tobe topless, younglady.Youshouldbe ashamedof yourself.
Lucky foryou,I'm not on dutyyetor I'd have to arrest you.
MARY: I needyourhelp,Officer.Mytaxespayyoursalary.
POLICEOFFICER: Theycertainlydo,andyourtaxespay the salariesof Ambulance Drivers.Solet
themhelpyou.Doesanyone call anAmbulance Driverwhenthey're beingrobbed?
MARY: Well,of course not,but--
POLICEOFFICER: I restmy case.
[POLICEOFFICERand MAN IN THE SUITexit quickly.MARYseems nearthe end of her rope.A
silence and then JOE,a man with one arm,hopson.He falls in frontof MARY.]
JOE: Excuse me,sorry.Verysorry.
[JOEgets up and tries to hop away.]
MARY: Please,Sir.Wouldyouhelpme--.Ohmy,whathappenedtoyou?
JOE: Oh,it's nothing.Nothingreally.I'mquite all rightactually.Well,I...Iwasuntil the ladystole
my cane,but I'll be okay. [Pause.] Mygoodness,Miss.Whathappenedtoyou?
MARY: You meanyou noticed?
JOE: Well,of course I noticed.Whatkindof personwouldIbe if I didn'tnotice youwere bleeding?
It looks as thoughyou're neardeath.
MARY: It feelsthatway.
JOE: I have an idea.
MARY: What's that?

3. JOE: Well,maybe Icouldhelpyou.Iknow it's a bitunorthodox,astrangerlendingahelpinghand
these days,butwhynot? Today,I woke up,puton my greensock--the one withjustthree holes--
because Iknewtodaywas goingto be extraordinary thenwhenIfell downmystepsandthe
neighbor’sdogjustlickedme insteadof tinklingonme,myfeelingswere confirmed.SoIsay hell
yes--excuse mylanguage--no!Hellyesitis!Iwill helpyou.Whatcan I do foryou?Wouldyou like a
slice of pie?
MARY: No. No.Thankyou, butno, notat the moment.Doyouknow how to make a tourniquet?
JOE: Well,of course I know.Iam a learn-edman,youknow.
MARY: Couldyouplease take my shirtand--
JOE: My name'sJoe.What's yours?
MARY: Mary, Joe.
JOE: Mary Joe?No kidding.It'slike fate.It's, it'slike we're fatedtogether.We have the same
names--
MARY: No, no,no.It's just Mary. I was callingyoubyyourname--
JOE: Oh,oh, right.I'm sosorry. I don'tknow what’swrong withme.Ijust,I justwant everythingto
be perfectwhenImeetnewpeople,Iwanttofall inlove yousee,andwhenyousaidyour name
was Mary Joe,well thenIthought, Godhere she is,the womanof my dreams,myAphrodite,my
Mary Joe--
MARY: Joe,I don't meanto be rude,but the blood'scomingveryquicklyandIcan't helpmyself.I
needyourhelp.
JOE: It's myappearance,isn’tit?I repulse you, right?
MARY: No, of course not. It's just...I'm...Joe!!I'mbleedingtodeath.Ineedyourhelp.
JOE: Oh nowyouneedmyhelp.FirstI repulse youjustbecause I'm missinganarmand now you
needmyhelp.Isn'tthat justlike awoman?
MARY: Excuse me?
JOE: I lovedyou,Mary.And I thoughtyoucouldlove me too,but now--
MARY: Joe!Eitherhelpme or don't.But right now,you're--.Idon'tknow whatyou're doingbut
you're not helping.
JOE: Well,Icouldmake youa tourniquet.Withyourshirtthere,seeingasyou're notwearingit
now.
MARY: Yes, thatwouldbe nice.That wouldbe verysweet.
JOE: Okay, It's a date.
MARY: All right.It's a date.Here'sthe shirt.

4. [MARYextendsherarm and JOEtakes theshirt fromher. He is very careful notto touch her.]
JOE: Can youholdthe t-shirtendwhile Itwist?
MARY: Of course.
[JOEis struggling withthe tourniquet.]
MARY: Joe?
JOE: Yeah?
MARY: Nevermind.
JOE: Okay.
MARY: Joe?
JOE: Yeah?
MARY: How'd you... youknow?
JOE: How'dI what?
MARY: How did you lose yourarm?
JOE: Couldyouholdthat tighter?
MARY: Sure.If youdon't wannatalkabout it,I understand.
JOE: Good.
MARY: You sure lookcute though,whenyou--
[MARYis aboutto touch JOE'shead and he jumpsaway.]
JOE: DON'T!!!
MARY: What? I'm sorry. I...Iwasjustgonna...touchyou.Don'tyoulike tobe
touched?
JOE: Of course I do. I justdon't thinkyoushould.
MARY: Why not?
JOE: How'sthe tourniquetfeel?
MARY: Great. It feelsreallynice.Thankyou.
JOE: I shouldgonow.
MARY: What's wrong withyou?
JOE: Nothing. Iwill gogetmy slice of pie and,I… gotta go to work,I gottago to work,and I haven’t
had myslice of pie yetand I have to go to work --
MARY: A minute agoyou were talkingaboutdatingandnow you're leaving?

5. JOE: Look,sometimes,Ijust, Igotta...Igotta...
MARY: It's because I triedto touchyou,isn't it?
JOE: No,it's not.
MARY: You've neverbeentouchedbefore,have you?
JOE: Yes,I have.
MARY: No, youhaven't.I'm the firstgirl who'severwantedtotouch you,aren'tI?
JOE: That's a meanthingto say, Mary.
MARY: You're right.I'm sorry.
JOE: It's nottrue either.I've beentouched.
MARY: Sure youhave,Joe.Sure.
JOE: I have…Once.
[JOEindicates his missing limb and MARYunderstands.]
MARY: Oh, I see.Andeverytime you've beentouched...
JOE: Exactly.
MARY: And you're justmissingalimb?
JOE: Mary?!?!?
MARY: Sorry. I'm justcurious.
JOE: Well,maybe youshouldn'tbe socurious.
MARY: What happensif youtouch someone else?Thenwhatdoyoulose?
JOE: I don'tknow.I've nevertouchedanyone.
MARY: My tourniquet's loosening.Ithinkyouneedtotightenit.
JOE: I betternot.
MARY: Do you wantme to bleedtodeath?
JOE: Of course not. I justdon't wantto risk...
MARY: Riskwhat? It's onlya limb.
JOE: Maybe we could getsomeone else todothisforyou.Officer!Officer!
POLICEMAN: What is itnow?I toldyou to move andyou are still here.Iwill arrestyou!
(The OLD LADY enters)
OLD LADY: Leave her alone Officer,she isbleedingyouwill killher!

6. JOE: You!You thief!Youstole mycane, give it back,Officerarrest her!
POLICEOFFICER: Excuse me lady,youare underarrest
(The OLD LADY hitsthe POLICEOFFICER)
OLD LADY: Leave me alone!I didn’tdoanything.
JOE: Mary I’m sorry,It wasn’ta good idea…
MARY: I’ve alreadytriedthat.You're my onlyhelp,Joe.
JOE: I justdon't thinkwe shouldtake anychances.I mightaccidentallytouchyou,you'll losealimb
and thenwhere will we be?
MARY: I'd rather be limblessthanlifeless.
JOE: Right.Of course.
[JOEstartsto tie the tourniquetagain,butishaving too much trouble,
mostly becausehe hasonly one hand.Heis getting frustrated.]
JOE: I toldyouit wouldn'twork.Youmightas well justbleedtodeath.
MARY: Joseph!
JOE: I'm sorry,Mary. It's just...well,thisseemstobe the wayit alwaysgoesforme.
MARY: Try againand don'tbe afraidto touchme.I'm not afraid.
[JOEindeed tries again.Thingsseemto be going better thistime. He even goesas faras to touch
her armas he ties the tourniquet.However,thesecond hetouchesher arm,it falls off.]
JOE: Oh myGod. What'd I do?
MARY: My arm! My arm fell off.
(The MAN IN THE SUIT entersagain)
MAN IN THE SUIT: What have you done?!Iwill lookforthe Police Officer,He will arrestyoufor
beingsadistic!
(The MAN IN THE SUIT runs away)
MARY: That manis crazy, it is notyour faultJoe
JOE: Mary, I'm...I'mso sorry.
MARY: Hurry up withthat, Joe.IthinkI'm losingtoomuchbloodnow.
JOE: What aboutyour arm?
MARY: Forgetmy arm.
JOE: Forgetyourarm!

7. MARY: Please,justtie the tourniquet.
[JOEtries to reattach her arm.]
JOE: I'm sure I can justre-lodge itinhere foryou.My grandpawas a medicinthe Big War you
know,sothat sort of thingmustrun inthe family
[MARYsnatchesthearm away fromhim.]
MARY: Just tie the tourniquet,Joe.
JOE: I can't, Mary. I triedand I can't.
[JOEbeginsto leave.]
MARY: Joe!You're notgoingto leave me here alone,are you?
JOE: Of course not. I'll findhelpforyou.
MARY: Come here.
JOE: What?
MARY: Come here.
JOE: What are youup to?
MARY: Come here.You owe me. [Hedoes.] Now.Standstill. [Hedoesbutthen startsto move
around,nervously.] Stiller. [Hedoes.] Now,close youreyes.
JOE: Close myeyes!?!?!
MARY: You don't trust me.Thanksto youI've lostmyarm andyou don'teventrustme?
JOE: Okay,okay.
MARY: Good boy.
[MARYtakesher arm and attachesit to his body wherehe is missing an arm.It fits perfectly.]
JOE: Mary, what are you doingtome? That feelsvery--
MARY: Good.
JOE: Yeah,good.
MARY: Openyour eyes.
[He doesand discovershis newarm.]
JOE: Howdid you--
MARY: Nowtie my tourniquetandsave mylife.
JOE: But I have yourarm.

8. MARY: Exactly.
JOE: Mary, I can't take yourarm. That's too generous.Imean,it'snot evenChristmas.
MARY: Yes, youcan. I don't needit.
JOE: Wow!Givingme your arm.That's justaboutthe sweetestthinganyone'severdone forme.
MARY: Hurry, Joe.
[MARYbeginsto lose consciousnessbutJOEdoesnotnotice.]
JOE: It feelsgreat.Like it'sbeenapart of me myentire life.It'sjustlike yourbodyfitsme like it's
alwaysbeen mine.Like ourbodiesfittogetherlike ajigsaw puzzle.Itdoesn'tlooktoofeminine,
doesit?Mary! Mary!
[Sheis not responding so JOE,withhis new arm,ties the tourniquetvery quickly and expertly.Even
though thetourniquetistied MARYis not responding.Hethinksaboutgiving her CPR.]
JOE: Okay,Joe,youcan do this.You have to dothis.Afterall,itisyour Mary Joe.Iam confidentmy
headwill notfall off if Igive hermouthto mouth...maybe justmylipswill,mylipsandmyhands,
that's not sobad, right?
[The Police Officerenters withthe Man in the Suit.]
POLICEOFFICER: Excuse me,Son.Butwhat do youthinkyou're doing?
JOE: Well,nothing,Officer.I'mjusttryingto save thiswoman's –
POLICEOFFICER: Save itfor the Judge.YouthinkI don't know whoyouare. You're underarrest.
JOE: Underarrest? For what?
POLICEOFFICER: Forthe theftof thisyounglady'sarm.
MAN IN THE SUIT: He stole herI saw it!
JOE: She gave it to me.
MAN IN THE SUIT: Veryconvenientforyouasyouare missingone arm!
POLICEOFFICER: A likelystory.Come withme.
JOE: She needsourhelp.
POLICEOFFICER: I'm notaskingyouagain.
[The OFFICERadvanceson JOEwho punches both and knock themout.Helooksat his new arm.]
JOE: Wow!That Mary isone strong girl.
[This time he gives CPR fearless of the consequencesthatmay follow.MARYcomesto.]
MARY: Well,it'sabouttime.What happenedto them?
JOE: Them?Ah,nothing. They justneededahelpinghandsoI gave it to them.

9. MARY: My arm looksgoodon you.
JOE: Thanks.You wantit back?
MARY: No.
JOE: Are yousure?
MARY: If I needit,you'll be here,right?
JOE: Right.
MARY: Then I'm sure.
JOE: Well...
MARY: Well...
JOE: Whadayasay we go and geta slice of pie now?
MARY: Soundsdelicious.
[They start to exit as lights fadeto black.]