A.student demonstration #3; writing the proposal

A.Student
Demonstration #3;
How to Write a
Proposal
A. Student is working on Step
One; Making a Plan, just like
you. Having read the directions,
just like you, he is ready to
write his Proposal.

A. Student
Step 1; Making a Plan
Date Due; 1/16/16
The Proposal
A. Student
Date Due; 1/16/16
The Proposal
The American Dream
A. Student
Date Due; 1/16/16
The Proposal
Young Pioneers
The Directions for what to
write in my proposal are
clearly listed on Help Page 1;
Understanding the Content
directions.
I write the proposal on the
step one word document in
my google docs folder.
The Content portion of the
step should always be
presented first. The skill
focus portion of the step is
presented second.
I need to label and title the
assignment. Clearly, this is
not a very good title for my
proposal.
That’s a little better.

I want to write about...The American Dream means many things to
many people….
Throughout U.S. history, the Pioneering
Spirit has made America great.
The first paragraph explains
the purpose of my project.
The directions list three
things I need to present in the
first paragraph.
This is not a good start. In a
formal proposal I should not
use first person narration.
No, This isn’t a good idea
because the sentence is not
saying very much. I need to
define what the American
Dream is.
This is better, because I have
replaced “American
Dream” with a specific
character trait. Still, the topic
sentence needs to remove
broad vague phrases like
these in order to raise the
idea in the topic sentence.

The pioneering spirit has forged a uniquely
American character in the United States
which drives all citizens of all types, rich
or poor, young or old, to take on rather
than avoid a new challenge, to persevere
through the difficulties rather than shrink
from them and to reach new achievements
rather than remain content where they
are.
The pioneering spirit has forged a uniquely
American character in the United States
which drives all citizens of all types, rich
or poor, young or old, to take on rather
than avoid a new challenge, to persevere
through the difficulties rather than shrink
from them and to reach new achievements
rather than remain content where they
are.
The pioneering spirit has forged a
uniquely American character in the United
States which drives citizens to take on
new challenges in order to fulfill their
lives.
This topic sentence is better
because it defines the
American Dream with a
specific character trait and
an idea as to why the
character trait makes
Americans unique..
But it is too long, with too
many words and phrases
which are very broad and all
encompassing and make the
sentence overly grandiose.
Overly grandiose
statements are never good
in a proposal because they
are not true or they present a
distorted view of history, and
therefore create big problems
for the argument being
proposed.
If there is one thing we can
say for certain about the
American Dream, it is that the
American Dream has many
contradictions and does not
apply to all people all the
time.
Defining the American Dream
is difficult.
This is better. I have a topic
sentence which defines the
American Dream as I intend
to define it in my paper and it
is written as clearly and
precisely as I can write it to
avoid sounding grandiose.

...
Next I need to describe the
first discussion topic I plan
to research for my paper.
As the directions say, I need
to pick an event from early
American history, suitable in
scope to meet the demands
of the writing situation, which
I can use to explain the
origins of the American
Dream as I define it.
Ah, yes; this discussion topic
is just like the
Americanization Process
we studied in class at the
beginning of the year..

...This pioneering spirit originated with the
first settlers of Jamestown in 1607. The
settlers of the Virginia Company who chose
to leave their homes in England embarked
on a journey to the “new world” in search
of gold, only to arrive in the Virginia
wilderness where they would face
challenges unlike any they had experienced
in Europe.
members of the Virginia Company who
chose to leave their homes in England
embarked on a journey to the “new world”
in search of gold, only to arrive in the
Virginia wilderness where they would face
in Europe.
settlers of the Virginia Company who chose
to leave their homes in England embarked
on a journey to the “new world” in search
of gold, only to arrive in the Virginia
wilderness where they would face
in Europe. The experience forged an
American identity as Englishmen adopted
new habits in order to persevere through
starvation, disease and Indian attacks...
For the purposes of the
proposal, since I have not
begun the research yet, I can
refer to the textbook or my
class notes to find historical
information I need to
describe the first topic...
It is important in these
sentences to use specific
historical information to
describe who, what, when
and where about the topic.
Once I describe the topic in a
few sentences, I need to
explain, briefly, how this topic
established a uniquely
American identity.
In a few sentences I have
described the purpose of my
first topic; to find the
historical information that
substantiates this idea about
the origins of the American
Dream.

......This pioneering spirit enabled Americans
to settle 13 colonies in the wilderness, gain
independence from the British empire,
forge a new concept of government and
move west to conquer a vast continent.
...This pioneering spirit enabled Americans
forge a new concept of government and
move west to conquer a vast continent. I
know what these people went through
because I left my home in Vermont, which
has been difficult, but I am persevering to
become a better student.
...This pioneering spirit enabled Americans
forge a new government and move west to
conquer a vast continent. These
accomplishments would not have happened
if it were not for the pioneering spirit.
...Each of these accomplishments resulted
from a unique journey which began with
accepting risks and persevered through
difficult challenges in order to arrive at a
more fulfilling destiny. The pioneering
spirit born from these experiences, has
created a habit for adventure in each
generation and an appreciation for the
process of the journey.
......Each of these accomplishments
resulted from a unique journey which
began with accepting risks and persevered
through difficult challenges in order to
arrive at a more fulfilling destiny. The
pioneering spirit born from these
experiences, has created a habit for
adventure in America and an appreciation
for the process of the journey.
I finish the first paragraph by
explaining briefly how the
American Dream as I have
defined it has influenced a
uniquely American heritage.
When I think about it, this
isn’t very difficult because
each unit we have studied
has focussed on the same
question. I can come up with
several ways that the
American Dream as I define
it has shaped a unique
heritage.
The paragraph appears to be
finished because it includes
the three things listed in the
directions. But, it is not
finished. I need to raise the
idea to convey a stronger
purpose in my proposal.
I can raise the Idea by
making a connection
between my idea for the
American Dream and my
writer’s persona which I
wrote about in the
preliminary decisions.. .
Though making this
connection is important, I do
not actually write it into my
proposal like this. I should
not use first person in the
proposal.
Similarly, it is very important
to avoid dastardly
hypothetical statements
like this one.
Hypothetical statements
are dastardly because they
did not happen and
therefore cannot be
substantiated with
historical information.
This is better. In two
sentences I connect
important events in our
heritage to the Pioneering
Spirit which helps convey the
importance of my definition of
the American Dream.
By emphasizing the
journey, I am making an
important connection to my
writer’s persona.
This connection helps
establish and strengthen a
genuine sense of purpose
for my project.

...which demonstrates that I
have learned how to apply
the skill focus of this step..

... The perseverance of these settlers
planted an important seed in the American
Dream; that the journey is more important
than the result, because though they never
found gold, they adapted a new character
trait called the pioneering spirit.
I end the paragraph with a
concluding statement which
sums up the importance of
my first topic to the American
Dream as I have defined it
and reinforces the connection
between this topic and my
persona.

... The perseverance of these settlers
planted an important seed in the American
Dream; that the journey is more important
than the result, because though they never
found gold, they adapted a new character
trait called the pioneering spirit.
I have defined the American
Dream in a way that is
meaningful to me.

...The American Dream in the post-World
War II era has had a major impact on
America.
In the second paragraph of
the proposal, I explain the
argument which I intend to
make about the American
Dream in the post-World
War II era..
How has the pioneering
spirit changed in the post-
World War II era?
...and what post-World War
II topic do I intend to
research to prove this
argument?
No, No, No. Just as I need to
avoid vague phrases and
sentences that do not say
much in the first paragraph,
the same is true in the
second paragraph.

At the dawn of the 21st century, the
Pioneering Spirit is in peril, threatened
with extinction by the take over of a push
button culture which demands and admires
instantaneous results rather than the
proces of a journey.
process of a journey. What would become
of the pioneering spirit in this country if
the millennials of America do not
experience leaving the comforts of what is
familiar to overcome challenges?
process of a journey. What would become
of the pioneering spirit in this country if
the millennials of America no longer
experience leaving the comforts of what is
familiar to overcome challenges? Clearly, a
new type of journey was needed to save
the pioneering spirit in America.
This is a better topic
sentence. It presents an idea
as to how the American
Dream as I defined it in the
first paragraph has changed
in the post-World War Ii era.
Sometimes, asking a
question can raise the
importance of the argument.
I Begin to transition to my
description of the post-World
War II topic I plan to
research.

...The fifth form U.S. history research
project at Canterbury School has
preserved the pioneering spirit in young
Americans by creating a journey which
allows students to persevere like the
pioneers of old….
project at Canterbury School has
preserved the pioneering spirit in young
Americans by creating a journey which
allows students to persevere like the
pioneers of old…
project at Canterbury School preserved
the pioneering spirit in young Americans by
creating a journey which allows students to
persevere like the pioneers of old. As
students traveled through a five step
process, they faced the challenges of
researching, writing and revising a
research paper which many had not
experienced before, and along the way,
they adopted new habits in order to
complete the project..
Now I introduce the second
required discussion topic.
As I introduce my post-
World War II era topic, I can
present the central idea of
the argument I intend to
make by researching the
topic. .
As I did with topic one in the
first paragraph of the
proposal, I write a sentence
or two to describe the topic of
my post-World War Ii event
with specific historical
information. .

...During the age of the smart-phone in
which searches arrive instantaneously at
their discovery, the the fifth form
research project appeared like the
wilderness of Jamestown to the first
settlers, reminding young Americans to
value the journey as much as the discovery,
thus preserving the pioneering spirit in
America.
Lastly, I need to finish by
explaining the important
impact which the topic I have
chosen has had on the
American Dream as I defined
it.

...During the age of the smart-phone in
which searches arrive instantaneously at
their discovery, the the fifth form
research project appeared like the
wilderness of Jamestown to the first
settlers, reminding young Americans to
value the journey as much as the discovery,
thus preserving the pioneering spirit in
America.
Clearly, I have chosen a
post-world war II topic that is
interesting to me.
...and I have formed an
argument about the
American Dream which is
meaningful to me because
it is relevant.

Questions for Research
1.
1. What is important to know about the
American Dream?
2. What are the five steps of the fifth
form research project?
3. Why are research projects important?
American Dream?
American Dream?
American Dream?
The last thing I need to do to
complete my proposal is to
list three questions for
research.
The questions are written at
the bottom of the proposal
after the two paragraphs
describing the plan have
been completed.
My questions need to guide
my research for both topics
which I have described in my
proposal They have the
purpose of directing me to
find the historical
information that will
substantiate my argument..
These questions are not very
good..
The first question is way too
broad and open ended to
answer with substantive
research that will be useful
to the argument I am making.
The second question has the
opposite problem. It is much
too narrow, too specific. I
already know the answer.
Therefore, the question does
not serve a useful purpose
for my research.
The challenge is that the
questions can’t be so broad
as to require too much
research to substantively
answer the question; and at
the same time they can’t be
so narrow as to restrict the
search.
Taken together, the three
questions do not create a
logical coherent flow of
thought needed to develop
the argument as I presented
it in the Proposal.

1.
1. Question about discussion topic 1
1. How did the first settlers overcome the
challenges they faced in 1607 to establish
Jamestown?
Jamestown?
2. How did the fifth form research project
restore the pioneering spirit?
3. Why do some believe that research
projects are outdated?
Jamestown?
Jamestown?
Jamestown?
The questions need meet the
demands of the writing
situation.
This means my questions
need to connect my purpose
and choice of topics with the
specific discussion
requirements and demands
of length and research.
Since there are three
content requirements for
the final paper and my
proposal needs three
questions, it makes sense
that I form a question for
each of the required
discussion topics.
The first question is
effectively narrowed to
research only the events of
the first year. It’s also broad
enough to include information
from a variety of sources
about the first settlers, the
challenges and the
achievements.
The question directs me to
find the information I need to
accomplish the first required
discussion topic.
Similarly questions 2 and 3
now direct me to find the
information I need to meet
the demands of the writing
situation.
Question 2 is broader than
the other 2 questions,
because this is the main topic
of the paper, will be
discussed in more length and
needs more information.
Wording the question
carefully helps the question
structure the argument. The
word restore directs me to
find information I need for the
central argument of the
proposal.
The last question is
comparatively narrow and will
direct the research to find an
opposing argument needed
for the third discussion topic.
The questions frame the
argument. They cover each
of the required topics and
direct me to find the
information I need to support
the central argument of my
proposal.
The questions also define
the scope of the search to
meet the demands of the
writing situation by restricting
or broadening the question to
meet the specific needs of
each topic.

Jamestown?
Questioning is one of
History’s habits of mind
which will lead me to find the
right quantity and quality of
information from a variety of
sources in the next step
when I start my research.
By learning to establish a
purpose and by completing
my proposal, this project
is taking on an important
meaning to me because it
is relevant.
The fog has cleared.

A.student demonstration #3; writing the proposal

A.student demonstration #3; writing the proposal

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