To develop assertiveness skills in interacting with people

1. Assertiveness is the ability to
communicate full range of
our thoughts and emotions
with confidence and skill

2. Assertiveness describes someone
who behaves confidently and
is not frightened to say what
he / she want or believe

3. BASIC AIMS OF
ASSERTIVENNESS
TO FULFIL THE NEEDS OF SELF AND OTHERS
 I have needs, others also have needs.
 I have rights / I have responsibility,
Others also have rights / responsibilities.
 I can make valuable contributions,
Others as well can make valuable
contributions.

4. What causes people to
avoid being assertive?
• Fear of displeasing others
• Fear of not being liked

5. How Assertive Are You?
• Do you ask for help if you need it?
• Do you express anger and annoyance
appropriately?
• Do you ask questions when you're confused?
• Do you volunteer your opinions when you think or
feel differently from others?
• Are you able to say "no" when you don't want to do
something?
• Do you speak with a generally confident manner,
communicating caring and strength?
• Do you look at people when you're talking to them

6. PASSIVE BEHAVIOUR
AIMS
• To avoid conflicts
• To please others
BELIEFS
• Others needs are more important
• Others have rights, I have only
responsibility
• Others can make valuable contributions,
I can’t

7. CONSEQUENCES OF
PASSIVE BEHAVIOUR
STC
• Reduction in anxiety
• Escape from guilt feeling
• Feel sorry for themselves
• Feel proud of their sacrifices
• Other’s praise aggravates passivity

8. CONSEQUENCES OF
PASSIVE BEHAVIOUR
LTC
• Loss of self esteem
• Self pity or self hatred
• Internal tension, nervousness, anxiety
• Psycho-somatic illness
• Increasing inability to be assertive
• Passive people remain passive throughout

9. CONSEQUENCES OF
PASSIVE BEHAVIOUR
OTHERS FEELINGG ON PASSIVE
• Feeling sorry
• Feeling guilt / feeling indifferent
• Feeling irritated
• Loose respect for passive people
• Restrict their contacts

10. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR
Being aggressive means standing up for yourself in
ways that violate the rights of others.
AIMS
• To win, at others expense if any
• To exhibit power / strength
BELIEFS
• My needs are more important
• I have rights, others have responsibility
• I can make valuable contributions
• I am always right

11. CONSEQUENCES OF
AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR
STC
• Reduction in tension ( catharsis)
• Feeling of achievement of need
• Feel a sense of power
• Feel proud of their strength
• Other’s praise instigates further
aggression

12. CONSEQUENCES OF
AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR
LTC
• Guilt / shame – apologetic – aggressive
• Continue to be aggressive by blaming others
• Constant state of alert
• Constant state of fatigue
• Problems – family / work / friends

13. CONSEQUENCES OF
AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR
OTHERS FEELINGG ON AGGRESSIVE
• Angry / aggressive
• Rebel
• Going underground
• Taking fewer initiatives
• Become resigned / quit

14. COPING WITH PRAISE
• Most of the people accept passively
or aggressively, never assertively
• PASSIVE – Undermine
• AGGRESSIVE – Boastful
• ASSERTIVE – Accept, Reciprocate

15. COPING WITH ANGER, CRITICISM
• PASSIVE – Justify, Withdraw mentally/physically
• AGGRESSIVE – Counter Attack
• ASSERTIVE
A. Seeking more information
- Ask for specifics
- Guess about the specifics
- Paraphrase/Rephrase
- Ask for consequences
- Solicit additional complaint
B. Agreeing with the speaker
- Agreeing with the odds
- Agreeing with the principle
- Agreeing with the critics perception
C. Finding solution
- Asking for solution
- Suggest solution
- Take action

16. The Assertive Bill Of Rights
• I Have the right to be treated with respect
• I have the right to have and express my
own feelings and opinions
• I have the right to be listened to and
taken seriously
• I have the right to set my own priorities
• I have the right to say no without feeling
guilty

17. The Assertive Bill Of Rights
• I have the right to ask for what I want
• I have the right to get what I pay for
• I have the right to make mistakes
• I have the right to assert myself, even
though I may inconvenience others
• I have the right to choose not to assert
myself

18. Assertive Skills
• The most powerful assertiveness technique is to
repeat your command with the confidence of a child
• Assertiveness is not what you do, it's who you are!
STEPS TO BECOME MORE ASSERTIVE
• Realize where changes are needed and believe in
your rights.
• Figure out appropriate ways of asserting yourself in
each specific situation that concerns you.
• Practice giving assertive responses.
• Try being assertive in real life situations.

19. COMPROMISING SKILL
Non Cooperative Co-operative
Passive
Aggressive
OUR
OWN
NEEDS,
INTERESTS,
GOALS
&
VALUES
OTHERS NEEDS, INTERESTS, GOALS & VALUES
* Competing * Collaborating
* Compromising
* Avoiding * Accommodating
FOR ANY ENDURING RELATIONSHIPS
COMPROMISING IS NEEDED