Are you designing your professional relationships?
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This document summarizes a presentation on designing professional relationships. It discusses establishing rules of respect, focusing on the relationship rather than just tasks. It also discusses identifying inner critics and values to help design relationships. The presentation provides a process for explicitly designing relationships by getting self-awareness, discussing values, and continuously iterating the design. It emphasizes managing critics by personifying them and giving them a role. The goal is mutually fulfilling relationships through open communication about expectations and priorities.
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Are you designing your professional relationships?
- 1. Are you designing your professional relationships? Presented by Alla Zollers UX Consultant & Coach alla@allazollers.com @azollers Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 2. Rule #1: No One Gets To Be Wrong Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 3. Rule #2: What’s said in the room stays in the room (Kind of like Vegas) Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 6. We under invest in relationship infrastructures Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 7. What happens when relationships break down? Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 8. Explicitly Design Your Professional Relationships Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 9. The Steps 1. Get out of your own way Identify and manage your inner critics 2. Know your values Discover what is important to you 3. Invite co-design Explicitly design your relationship 4. Iterate Continue to redesign the relationship on a continuous and ongoing basis Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 10. All us have self-sabotaging inner voices that hold us back. Their job is to preserve the status quo. The Saboteurs have all the reasons ready why this plan (whatever you are trying to do) is stupid, dangerous, hopeless, or generally an ill-advised course of action. Identify Your Saboteurs We all have them. Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 11. The #1 Saboteur Presenting ... The Judge The judge sabotages us by having us feel anxiety, disappointment, anger, regret, guilt, and shame by finding faults with 1) ourselves; 2) others, and 3) our circumstances. Thoughts: What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you? What is wrong with my circumstance or this outcome? Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 12. Perfectionist - If you can’t do it perfectly, don’t do it at all - I hate mistakes Scarcity - There is not enough _______ - More is better - This is just the way it is Pleaser - I can’t disappoint other people - To be a good person I should put the needs of others ahead of my own Hyper-Achiever - I must be the best at what I do - I must be efficient and effective Hyper-Vigilant - When is the other shoe going to drop? - If I make a mistake, I fear everyone is going to jump down my throat Controller - No one tells me what to do - If I work hard enough I can control the situation so it goes my way A Few Good Accomplices ... Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 13. 5 Minute Saboteur Assessment positiveintelligence.com/assessments Resource Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 14. 5 Ways to Manage Your Saboteurs 1. Personify the Saboteur 2. Acknowledge the Saboteur 3. Give the Saboteur a job to do or a place to go 4. Ask the Saboteur to get out of the way 5. Physically represent the Saboteur and put them away Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 15. Know Your Values Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 16. Think of a special peak moment when your life was especially rewarding or poignant. Look for values that were being honored. Discover Your Values Think of a times when you were angry, frustrated or upset. Look for values that were being suppressed. Reflect back in your life to someone you have greatly admired and describe their qualities. Listen for values. Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 17. Now that you know your values ... • Designing your relationships • Job Interviews • Vetting clients • Managing Up • Feeling fulfilled in your work and life you can use that knowledge for... Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 18. Demo Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 19. Script ... Can we go out to lunch together this week? I would like to discuss how to work together ... I recently learned a few things that are important to me ... what is important to you? When we work together, I would like it to feel ______ ... how would you like it to feel? How do you want to behave together when things get difficult? What would really help our relationship flourish? You can count on me for ______ ... what can I count on from you? Wednesday, May 29, 2013
- 20. Thank You! I am available for ... UX Consulting Team Coaching Individual Coaching alla@allazollers.com @azollers Wednesday, May 29, 2013