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1. Anything’s Pawsable with a Little Pixie
Dust – Part: 1
Pixie isnowapproachinganage where mostservice dogsintraining(sdit) are workingonlearning
specifictaskskillstheywill needtoaidtheirpartner.We are now readyto make some big decisions
on Pixie’sfuture,anditisnotwhat we were imagining,orexpectingwhenwe originallystartedthe
processof raisingher.Thisis a bitof a longread, andI am takinga little bitof arisk,and openingup
about a verypersonal journey;here Igo…
Whenwe startedour journeyraisingPixie we were notsure whatourplanwas or whatthe outcome
wouldbe.We embarkedonnewterritoryandforthe firsttime we were onour ownto make
decisionsandworkthroughissuesthatcame up.Pixie belongstoGrowingUp Guide Pup(GUGP),not
anotherorganization,norwasshe promisedtoa specificorganization.IwasexcitedbutIwasalso
nervousat the same time..Ireallywantedtostepoutof mycomfort zone anddo more than justthe
basicsof whatmost puppyraisersdo,butI had no ideaif I couldactuallydoit onmy own.Pixie isa
bitof an experimentforus.
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service dog education, service dog in training, sdit, service dog intraining acronym.
For more details,please visitus at: http://www.growingupguidepup.org/
WhenPixie’slitterwasbornwe whelpedall nine of the puppiesandthe original planwastoraise
one of the twopuppiesbeing donatedtoBrigadoonService Dogs. Ihadmy eyesonchunkyboyMr.
Yellow,whowaslaternamedPaddington.Don’ttell Pixie,but she wasn’tmyfavorite of the nine in
the beginning,butshe wasalwaysalittle unique due tothe factshe neededextraattention,
includingbottle feedings,the firstcouple of weeksbecauseshe wasthe smallestandnotthrivingas

2. well asthe others.Because she hadsome special needsinthe beginningof herlife,we offeredto
keepherand take on the responsibilitiesof whatshe needed,ormayhave needed,asshe grew.At
the time we were uncertainhowshe woulddevelopphysically.Turnsoutshe didjustfine,beingthe
runt of the litter,she justneededalittle extraattentionasababy.
My original thoughtprocesswastosee whatPixie didnaturallyasshe grew upand thenmake a
decisiononwhattype of service dogshe wouldbe bestsuitedfor.Thatwouldhelpme decide where
she wouldpotentiallygoforformal trainingandplacementata service dogorganizationorif Iwould
try trainingandplacinghermyself.EarlyonI thoughtshe wouldmake a greatmedical alertdog,she
was veryinterestedindifferentsmells,especiallywithpeople.Diabeticalertwashighonmy
possibilitylist.She likestosmell mybreathinthe morning,andif Matt or I have anytype of cut or
scab on our body,she findsitandwantsto investigate iteverydayuntil itishealed.She doesthis
alsowithotherpeople she meetsorfriendsshe greets,she alwayswants togive everyone afull sniff
overand investigation.
So where doesPixiegofromthispoint?Whatwill she be trainingtodo? That isthe big question.In
October2019 I didget some newgearto try out withPixie.We have beenworkingonsome
momentumpull workandsome lightbalance assistance.Now these tasksare alittle differentthan
whatthe natural instinctsthatI have describedabove andI’mgoingtoexplainwhywe wentthis
route.
We have founda potential placementforPixie where she canutilizethese skillsthatshe islearning.
Where we are placingherwasthe lastplace I thoughtthat she wouldendupwhenwe started,butit
seemstobe the mostfittingnowforeveryone involved.If itall worksout,and Pixie cangetpast her
trainingobstacles,itwill be quitethe storytoshare.You see…we have decidedtotryplacingPixie
withme.
So far onlyMatt, my family,afewfriends,andmycoworkersknow aboutthispart of me.In June
2017 I was diagnosedwithabenigntumoronmypituitarygland.AtfirstI had veryfew symptoms
and didn’thave ahuge impact onmy life.Iwasprescribedsome medicationtohelpshrinkthe tumor
and helpregulate myone hormone level whichwasoutof normal range.Evenmy endocrinologist
made it seemlike nobigdeal.UnfortunatelyIhada lotof side effectstothe medicationandIwas
neverable totake the full dose thatwasprescribed.Because of the lowerdose Iwastakingittook
almosta year,but my hormone levelswerefinallystabilizingafew monthsbefore Pixiewasborn
and wasable to taperback my medication,butwasstill experiencingsome sideeffects.
Because there wasso muchgoingon that summerI stoppedmymedication.We had9 babypoodle
puppiesanda mothertotake care of,Oscar, our young puppyintrainingtoworkwith,twopet dogs
that neededtheirusual care,myfull time jobatthe clinic,Matt’swork,some side jobswe engaged
into helppaythe bills,inadditiontoa few extracanine house guestscomingandgoingthroughout
the summerthat we had alreadypromisedthatwe wouldtake care of before we agreedtowhelp
the puppies.Mybiggestside effectsfrommymedicationwasbeingtiredandmental fogginessthat
causedme to be forgetful andunable toreallyuse mybrainthe wayI neededandwantedittobe.
The more tiredIbecame,the worse mysymptomswere.There wassomuch to be done eachand
everydaythat we were upand busyfrom 7am until about2am. There was noroom for beingextra
tiredor unfocusedfromanoutside source,my health,togetthroughthe workneededtobe done at
home and still be focusedwhile atwork.There isreallynoroomfor errorin myline of workand I
had to be able to functionatboth home andwork.

3. Afterthe summerof 2018 most of the puppieswere gone andthingscalmeddownsome,butthen
we had bothPixie andhersisterScarletttotry and trainindividually(before Scarlettwentto
Brigadoon) andPennywasreturnedtous andthat addeda third petdogthat neededcare.Ididn’t
reallygetback onto my medicationuntilwellafterthe holidaysandIstruggledwithstayingonthem.
I feltreallycrappyonthemso I wasn’tveryconsistentwiththem.The medicationmade me feel
worse thanthe tumordidand it wasreallyhardfor me to keeptakingit.I wastakingit on andoff,
but itwas enoughconsistencytomake adifference.
Overthispast summerItriedto be more consistentwithtakingmymedicationandIfeltthe worstI
everhad.I was exhaustedall the time,nomatterhow muchI slept.Iwouldfeel wornoutlike Ihad
done a major workoutat the gymjust walkingthe dogsaroundthe neighborhood.Iwaslightheaded
and dizzyat timesandwasnot comfortable standingstill andreallyjustwantedtositall the time.
The bestway to describe itisthat I feltlike Iwas“buzzed”asif I had beendrinkingall the time.Not
drunk,but tipsy.Iwas alsobecomingforgetful.Iwouldforgetthingsathome thatI neededforthe
day,or thingsIneededtoputon my to dolist.I wasalso forgettingwords.Like whenIwouldbe
talkingtosomeone,IknewwhatIwantedto say,but I struggledtogetthe rightwordsthat I wanted
out.The interestingthingisthatPixie seemedtonotice thatthere wassomethingoff withme as
well.
WhenPixie isatworkwithme she laysundera deskwhere there isacomputerthat isusedby
multiple peoplethroughoutthe shift.She hasalwaysbeenquietandstayedinherspotwithout
beingnoticed.She hardlymovesmyentireshift,withthe occasional “Ineedtopotty”look.Overthe
summerthere were afewtimeswhile Iwassittingatthe deskshe hitme numeroustimeswithher
nose,a behaviorthatshe hadneverdone before.She wasalsostartingtolayout fromunderthe
deskwhere she couldwatchme more.At firstI thoughtshe wasjustbeingpersistentthatshe
neededtopottyor that she wasboredand readyto go. These thingsusuallyhappenedwhenthe
clinicwasreallybusyandI was runningaroundmore.ButI did alsostart noticingthatI washaving
dizzyspellsandfeeling off balance while atwork.Istartedto wonderif Pixie wasactuallytryingto
tell me somethingthatwasaboutme and not her.She has alwaysbeenveryattachedtome,but
there were multiple timesthatshe outrightrefusedtoleave myside,orwasveryuneasyif I did.
Some daysshe followsme almosteverywhere she can.Evenif Igo to use the restroomatthe clinic
whichisfive stepsawayfromwhere she staysshe will paw atthe restroomdoorwhile I’minside
(whenshe isnothookedtoa tie down).There canbe multiple otherpeopleinthe roomwithher,
but she still followsme.AtfirstIjustfeltlike she wasaneedypuppy,butnow I wonderif there is
somethingmore toit.
Pixie sticksveryclose tome alsowhile athome.If Istepoutside she jumpsuptofollow.If Igo
upstairs,she insistsoncomingwithme.We have a babygate at our stairsand there have beentimes
that Pixie hasclimbedoverthe gate toget to me.ThishappensevenwhenMattishome and
downstairswithher.WhenIlookback andrememberPenny’straining;she hasalsobeenveryclingy
to me.But nevertothisextent.There are some dayswhenthere isa little competitionbetweenthe
twodogs regardingwhocan be closerto me.
I decidedtotry beingoff mymedicationagaintosee if thiswasall side effectsdue tothe medication
or if there was somethingmore goingonwithme.Ididn’ttake mymedicine foramonthand I did
feel afairamount better.Iwasn’tas dizzyandfoggybrained,butI wasstill wakingupnotfeeling
restedandchronicallyfatigued.Iwasalsostill feelingoff balance attimesaswell.WhenIstoodstill
for more than a fewminutesIwouldfeelmyfeetrockingandwouldbe slightlyadjustingconstantly.
I swayedverysubtly.Ifeltbettersittingorleaningagainstsomething.Iwasalwayslookingfora
place to leanonwhenstanding.Pixiestoppedwiththe nose bumpsbutwasstill keepinganeye on

4. me afterI acknowledgedthatsomethingwasn’trightwithme andstartedadjustingmyroutine at
work.I tried differentthingstosee if Icouldfigure outwhatwas goingon withme.Iwas keeping
track of mybloodpressure incase I was feelingtiredandoff balance because Itwaslow.Itypically
run on the lowerside,butnotlowenoughtoexplainmysymptoms. Itriedeatingmore frequentlyin
case mybloodsugar wasbeingaffectedbythe hormone imbalance orthe tumoritself.Ithelped
slightly,butitwastime tovisitthe doctor againand figure outwhyI washavingincreasedsymptoms
and whatwas causingit.
Since SeptemberIhave seenmyprimarydoctor,my endocrinologist,opthamologist,anda
rheumatologist.Ihave beentestedfornumerousthings,butwithalmostall negative resultsthat
didn’tgive usmore inthe wayof answers.MyrepeatedMRIshowedthatmy tumorhad grown
some,Ihave an increase inmyEAR (erythrocyte sedimentationrate) testwhichjusttestsforoverall
inflammationandmyprolactinhormone level over200 pointshigherthanitshouldbe.Irecently
starteda differentmedicationtohelplowerthathormone level andshrinkthe tumorwiththe hopes
of lessside effects.
So far I am toleratingthe newmedicationmuchbetter,butstill sufferingfromthe chronicfatigue,
headaches,andfeelingoff balance andswayattimes.Iam alsonoticingnew symptomsof jointpain
and stiffnessaswell asmuscle soreness.Iamstill uncertainhow muchof thisis causedbythe
medicationorthe tumorand hormone imbalance.ForawhileIthoughtthatI was becominglazyorI
was imaginingthe problems.I talkedtomydoctorsabout mysymptoms,butI reallydidn’tgetthe
answersas towhy I feltthisway,nordidI feel like the doctorstookmyconcernsaboutmy
symptomsseriously.Iwasjustpassedaroundfromdoctor to doctor.For a little while IthoughtthatI
had justmade up these symptomsinmyheadsince the doctorsneververifiedthattheywere
actuallyreal.HoweverIwasable to finda greatsupportgroup online withpeoplewhohave the
same conditionthatI do.I foundout I’mnot alone.Iam amazedby the varietyof symptomsthat
people have fromsucha small growth.People sufferfromeverythingfromfatigue,wheretheycan
barelygetout of bed,monthlongmigraines,visionloss,dizziness,moodswings,depression,anxiety,
multiple hormonelevelsoutof normal ranges,hotflashes,coldsweats,vitaminddeficiency,
osteoporosis,weightgain,andotherthings. Iactuallyfeel prettyluckythatmysymptomsare not
more in numberandnot worse inseveritysofar.Somany otherpeople talkabout somanydifferent
symptomsandhowtheyaffecttheirlife,andmostof themare notrecognized,mentionedortalked
aboutby most doctorsor literature onthe topic.Beingable toask questionstothe membersof my
groupand seeingwhatotherpeople gothoughIhave a betterunderstandingthatthe tumoritself,
constantlychanginghormone levels,andmedicationsall canaffecthow Ifeel andthat how I feel
changesfromone day to the next.
For more detailson our products and services,please feel free to visitus at: service doginfo,
service dog education, service dog in training, sdit, service dog intraining acronym.