Academic Blog #1: A Writing Sample/Personal Essay DUE: Thursday January 12, 2017 [In Class and Online] Purpose (Mine and Yours) 1. The lion’s share of this class will focus on creating evidence based arguments. This project is meant to allow you to practice the argument part of the process without referring to outside sources. 2. A goal of this project will also be to reflect on your own strengths and weaknesses in writing and make some personal objectives that will lead to growth and improvement. Description/Steps Answer the question below in a standard essay format. a) What would you like American people to know about your home country? 1. Brainstorm or cluster your ideas. 2. Create an outline. 3. Draft your paper. REQUIREMENTS In this paper, you will take a closer look at something very familiar to you.  Your family. TOPIC: I want you to write an opinion paper about a member of your family that has influenced your life greatly.  Choose someone whom you appreciate and admire.  Think about the following question as you write your paper.  What characteristics does this person have that make him/her an admirable person? Requirements: - Times New Roman typeface -double spacing -12 point font - 2.5 to 3 pages in length - an introduction with a thesis statement -well organized paragraphs [one idea per paragraph please] -an understandable conclusion -the writing in the paper is clear and understandable.  -the paper is complete and turned in on time - no outside sources except a dictionary - do not translate complete sentences on google.  25 points totalFormatting and Correct Submission on Blackboard. 5 points/ 1 point per point. · Page length ____ · Times New Roman, 12 point font ____ · Double spaced with correct margins ____ · Saved correctly as a word document and attached on blackboard ____ · The paper is not late ____Grammar 5 points .25 .5 .75 1 point Sentence Structure The misuse of sentence structure impedes the reading of the paper. The sentence structure is incorrect or the author does not have a variety of sentence types. Sentence structure is sometimes incorrect, but there are still a variety of sentence types throughout the paper. Sentence structure is flawless throughout the paper. The writer uses a variety of sentence types: simple, compound and complex. Punctuation The misuse of punctuation impedes the reading of the paper. Punctuation is often an issue in the paper. Punctuation is rarely an issue in the paper. The punctuation is correct throughout the paper. Spelling The spelling errors make impede the reading of the paper. Words are often misspelled, but understandable. Words are rarely misspelled. The spelling is correct throughout the paper. Word Choice The word choice impedes the meaning or the reading of the paper. Words are often misused. Words are often used appropriately Words are used appropriately: Correct part of speech. Grammar Many (more than 10 per page) tense, noun, o.

1. Academic Blog #1: A Writing Sample/Personal Essay
DUE: Thursday January 12, 2017 [In Class and Online]
Purpose (Mine and Yours)
1. The lion’s share of this class will focus on creating evidence
based arguments. This project is meant to allow you to practice
the argument part of the process without referring to outside
sources.
2. A goal of this project will also be to reflect on your own
strengths and weaknesses in writing and make some personal
objectives that will lead to growth and improvement.
Description/Steps
Answer the question below in a standard essay format.
a) What would you like American people to know about your
home country?
1. Brainstorm or cluster your ideas.
2. Create an outline.
3. Draft your paper.
REQUIREMENTS
In this paper, you will take a closer look at something very
familiar to you. Your family.
TOPIC: I want you to write an opinion paper about a member of
your family that has influenced your life greatly. Choose
someone whom you appreciate and admire. Think about the
following question as you write your paper. What
characteristics does this person have that make him/her an
admirable person?
Requirements:
- Times New Roman typeface
-double spacing
-12 point font
- 2.5 to 3 pages in length
- an introduction with a thesis statement

2. -well organized paragraphs [one idea per paragraph please]
-an understandable conclusion
-the writing in the paper is clear and understandable.
-the paper is complete and turned in on time
- no outside sources except a dictionary
- do not translate complete sentences on google.
25 points totalFormatting and Correct Submission on
Blackboard.
5 points/ 1 point per point.
· Page length ____
· Times New Roman, 12 point font ____
· Double spaced with correct margins ____
· Saved correctly as a word document and attached on
blackboard ____
· The paper is not late ____Grammar
5 points
.25
.5
.75
1 point
Sentence Structure
The misuse of sentence structure impedes the reading of the
paper.
The sentence structure is incorrect or the author does not have a
variety of sentence types.
Sentence structure is sometimes incorrect, but there are still a
variety of sentence types throughout the paper.
Sentence structure is flawless throughout the paper. The writer
uses a variety of sentence types: simple, compound and
complex.
Punctuation
The misuse of punctuation impedes the reading of the paper.
Punctuation is often an issue in the paper.
Punctuation is rarely an issue in the paper.

3. The punctuation is correct throughout the paper.
Spelling
The spelling errors make impede the reading of the paper.
Words are often misspelled, but understandable.
Words are rarely misspelled.
The spelling is correct throughout the paper.
Word Choice
The word choice impedes the meaning or the reading of the
paper.
Words are often misused.
Words are often used appropriately
Words are used appropriately: Correct part of speech.
Grammar
Many (more than 10 per page) tense, noun, or pronoun
agreement issues
Several (more than 5, less than 10) tense, noun or pronoun
agreement issues
Few (less than 5 per page) tense, noun or pronoun agreement
issues
No Tense, noun or pronoun agreement issues Organization
10 points
.75
1
1.5
2 point
Introduction
The introduction is incomplete.
The introduction is missing 2 parts
The introduction is missing 1 part.
The introduction is complete with an attention getter/ general
exposition, necessary background information, and a direct
thesis statement that presents the topic and the controlling
idea/purpose of the paper.
Body Paragraph Structure

4. The body paragraphs are not organized as academic paragraphs.
The body paragraphs are somewhat complete but missing much
important information.
The body paragraphs are almost complete.
The body paragraph has:
A clear topic sentence centered on a single controlling idea,
supporting sentences that explain that controlling idea, specific
examples that clarify the explanations, and a conclusion
sentence.
Body Paragraph Unity
There is no controlling idea in the paragraph.
There are several details that cannot be connected to the
controlling idea.
There may be a few details that are off topic.
All of the examples and supporting sentences in the paragraph
should serve to explain one controlling idea, which is stated in
the topic sentence.
Coherence of Ideas
The paragraphs are too incoherent to read.
The paragraphs have too many ideas that are mixed or ordered
in a way that is not logical or explainable.
The paragraph is mostly coherent, with few problem areas.
Words, and sentences in the paragraph have a logical flow from
one to another. There is also an apparent logical order of ideas.
There is no repetition of ideas.
Conclusion
It is difficult to detect if the conclusion serves as a conclusion
to the paper.
The conclusion is missing necessary parts.
The conclusion is mostly complete.
There is a conclusion. The conclusion follows a traditional:
specific to general organization. The author should begin by
summarizing the main points of the paper before ending with a
general concluding statement.
Content

5. 5 points
.25
.5
.75
1 point
Depth of Details
The writer does not use enough detail to support his/her ideas.
The writer uses details that are either too general or lack clarity.
The writer uses details that are clear but general.
The writer uses details that are specific and logically provide an
explanation of the controlling idea.
Variety of Details
There is no variety in the kinds of details that the author uses.
There is a large imbalance in the variety of details that the
author uses.
There may be a slight imbalance in the variety of details that
the author uses.
The writer uses a variety of facts and opinions to support
his/her claims.
Academic Word Choice
The writer’s use of words is mostly incorrect.
The writer may have frequent misuse of academic words, or a
frequent occurrence of informal words.
The writer makes no word choice error, but may fail to provide
a diversity of academic words.
Part of academic word choice means avoiding unnecessary,
informal, overgeneralized words [ thing, stuff, all the people]
Also, no personal pronouns [I, you, us, they, them etc.]
Along with not using any inappropriate words, the writer makes
an effort to use specific academic words [Academic Word List]
Warrant
The writer does not support his/her claims with specific
examples.

6. The writer frequently makes unsupported or unwarranted
claims.
The writer mostly makes claims that he/she supports with
specific examples.
The writer does not make claims that he/she does not back up
with specific examples.
Synthesis
The paragraphs are not linked to any controlling idea in the
paper.
Some of the paragraphs cannot be linked to the controlling idea
in the thesis statement.
Mostly all of the ideas/paragraphs serve to explain the
controlling idea in the thesis statement.
All of the body paragraphs serve to explain the controlling idea
in the thesis statement.
Malallah 1
Ebrahem Malallah
Nada Rossiter
CIE 077 -700
14 January 2017
My Mentor in Life
I have in my family four brothers, and I am the youngest
one and my parents, unfortunately, have no daughter. We live in
the same house. We have had the house for a long time since I
was born. But my brothers grew up in different houses. We
started our family life in new house, because that’s first house
my father bought. The brother who is different from my other
brothers by his lifestyle and his studying life is my oldest
brother. His name is Khaled Nazir Malallah and he is twenty-
nine years old his life was difficult because he was taking care
of his own live not like my brothers. He did not let anyone help
him. Also, when he was young and he had any problem he

7. solved it by himself so he did not tire my parents as we did, one
time I remember when he was seventeen so he was not allowed
to drive, however he was driving my dad’s vehicle and then the
police caught him and he stayed in the police station for three
days and the police man detained the vehicle for two months, so
when he got out he could not take his driving license until he
was nineteen years old. That is the biggest problem that he had,
but my other brothers were different because they were tiring
my parents about studying because they did not care about
education. Their focus was on entertainment such as sports and
automobile they were good in these activities but not in school
but Khaled was good in these activities and also in school more
than that, he is successful in his life for several reasons.
Malallah 2
Khaled loves education that which makes him successful
in his life. His dream was to study his bachelor in America, so
in his studying life before university he studied hard and he was
working towards in his dream to study in America. He wanted to
study in America while he was young, that means still underage
not after 21. But he did not get his dream because after he
graduated from high school he had to go with my father my
brother treatment in Paris. He went with my father to Paris for
two years for the treatment, so that travel made him late to go to
America. After the two years, he returned to Kuwait and he was
bored from the alienation because he stayed in Paris for two
years and he did not study. When he went back to Kuwait. he
decided to study petrol engineering, just like my father, so he
studied for two years to get the diploma and then he worked for
a petrol company as assistant engineer in Saudi Arabia. He
stayed in his work for three years and after the three years he
got his scholarship from his work and he went to America to
study his bachelor degree. He went to Ohio to complete his
major at Marietta College, and he finished his degree in three
years. He went back to his job and started working as a petrol
engineer. When he graduated from university l graduated from

8. high school. He helped me a lot and supported me to study in
America he said, I know you and I know what you want so you
must study in America. because he said that he helped me a lot
with the registration. Khaled is the reason that I am getting my
education in the United States. Finally, he is working in a good
place and he is completing master degree. One thing he has said
and followed is that, education is more important than anything
in your life.
Malallah 3
People are around him are love him because he knows how
to talk with them and show them respect. He didn’t about the
ages so he communicates with all people. He has a strong
communication because he like to share talking and ideas with
people and know little things from everything such as
education, sports, cars, video games, travel, so when he knows
what you like he will talk about what you like to make the
conversation more interesting. That’s what make my family and
his friend love him for example when he stays with my little
cousins and my nephews he will play with him what they want
to play if they want to play video games or outdoor games he
will play with them, also when he didn’t know he’s able to
learn. The most important capacity that’s he has is he never
skipped any gathering that my family does every Friday and he
always visits my family such as aunts, uncles, grandparents.
From when he was 16 he has his own room in the house because
he always invites his friend to stay with him in the house so
Khaled and his friend they could meet every day and that’s
became a routine for Khaled and now he has his own farm for
gathering and just same what he did before but now with his
own place. Finally, his family and his friend became somethings
important in his life and he couldn’t live without him and the
most important things of his life is my parents he would like to
do anything just to make him happy.

9. Khaled has many favorite hopes, so he likes to be
professional in each avocation. He like to be Good in what he
loves, so when he was 16 years old he was a good player in two
sports which is roller blade and tennis table he had many
championship in table tennis because he was playing a lot with
his friend and with my brother’s after he became professional in
table tennis my dad bought a table tennis to play in the house
that’s which make him came batter and batter. But in
Malallah 4
roller blade he likes to play in the street not in designated
places. He was a perfect player but just between his friend. He
makes me and my other brother’s love skating and we were a
group who always skates together in ice skating and roller
blade. After that he became a car lover and he bought a Dodge
challenger SRT8 he loves his car too much and he was working
in his car alone he didn’t go to work shop he ordered the things
from online and he do it by himself. He did this for two reasons
which is to learn about mechanic and for the future. For
example, he bought a Mustang 1969, it was a destruction and he
made it new by two years. Khaled is a fan of FIFA soccer in
PlayStation and in the real life so he always watches matches of
soccer teams. Finally, Khaled who made me love soccer and
roller blade and he supported me in these sports also he loves to
give advice about what he learned.
In conclusion, Khaled is successful in his life by many
ways he gets love and respect from people that’s gift from god,
also he worked on that. That means he worked hard in his life
that has equal to see it after long life. Now he sees what he did
before and he’s trying to help my brothers and me with our life,
so my parents love him too much because he always finishes the
work and he didn’t let my mom do anything he did everything to
my mom to make her more comfortable. He became my mentor
because when we came to America he took care when my leg
was broken. He thinking about the future and plaining to help
me with the job and he will not get married until I graduate
from the university because he supporting by money. He’s going

10. to buy a house and furnish a floor for me. In general, I’m very
happy to have brothers like Khaled because in this day it is
hard to have a brother like that. I hope to be the same person as
my brother was to me to my nephews. However, my other
brothers have also supported me how
Malallah 5
to deal with life, but that doesn’t mean there are not good
brother’s like that elsewhere in the world.