1. L E A RN F ROM PA RE N T S from Doug Fields
FOR STARTERS
Quick—name the first and
TRAINING on the GO
Parents should be your greatest tool in youth ministry. Not only do they
last names of your students’ love their children much more than you ever could, but they know their
parents. How many did you get children a lot better than you do. Parents can offer insight into family
history, behavioral patterns, lifestyle details, and personality profiles.
right?
Until you know their parents, you won’t truly know your students. And if this
In what way do you involve sounds intimidating, be encouraged: It’s easier to get to know parents than
parents in your ministry to you might imagine. For example, if you attend a weekly youth program, just
youth? set yourself up to greet parents when they arrive to pick up their kids. Take
this opportunity to ask questions, affirm their student, or let them know
about an upcoming event. Making this casual connection with parents can
TRENCHE S
help open the door to a relationship with them. Basically, don’t be afraid of
IN T HE parents or view them as the enemy (they’re not).
Another idea: When you call a student on the phone, don’t ask for the
Renee is a mom of two high school
students, and she’s a youth minis-
teenager right away; instead, introduce yourself and engage in a short
try volunteer. She never intended conversation with the parent. You may even find that your phone calls last
to get involved with youth ministry longer with adults than with students (especially if the students are junior
because her growing-up years were high boys). The parents will appreciate this gesture more than you probably
so difficult that she didn’t believe she imagine. I know that, as a parent of teenagers, I’m thrilled with other adults
had anything to offer. As a teenager who are investing in my kids.
herself, Renee struggled with an eat-
ing disorder; she spent the majority Also, I believe it’s very important for healthy youth leaders to have an open-
of her high school and college years door policy for parents. Invite them to be a part of what’s happening—
battling bulimia. But with the loving whether it’s a small group, a youth group night, an event, or a social time.
support of family and friends, she You may have parents who do not want to be involved year-round but
eventually won her battle. are willing to help from time to time—take advantage of that opening.
As her own kids grew up, Renee Any interaction, even a short one, can be the foundation for building a
began interacting with their friends relationship with a parent.
and noticed similarities in behavior
between these teenagers and Commit to learn from struggling parents and families. I guarantee that
herself at their age. She realized parents of your students are experiencing a tough time at this very moment.
that some of her daughter’s friends There may be a conflict brewing, or they may be in the midst of a family
were battling the same disorder that crisis. You may have to learn from a distance, but learn just the same—by
wounded her so many years ago. She observing and listening. You may be able to talk with students in the home
started talking to them and building to find out how they feel about their situation, and other times you can
relationships with them—eventu- benefit from talking directly with the parents. Whatever you choose to do,
ally becoming their confidante and
learning about struggling families can help you gain wisdom in caring for
advisor. In doing so, she helped lead
them to healing and hope. students.
Renee shared her story with some As you commit to gaining wisdom from parents, you’ll make yourself more
other women in the church, and valuable to your students and church family.
they “pushed” her my way. Now,
she has an incredible ministry to
students with eating disorders.
Again, she didn’t plan to end up
in youth ministry—which actually
made her the perfect candidate.
How can you connect with parents
who are like Renee? How are you
like or unlike Renee?
YOUTH LEADER TRAINING ON THE GO
