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10 Resume Tweaks That Ll Keep You From Moving Back With Your Parents
- 1. 10 Resume Tweaks That'll Keep You From Moving Back With Your Parents
- 2. Josh Barsch GiveMeaResume.com josh.barsch@gmail.com twitter.com/joshbarsch facebook.com/joshua.barsch
- 3. First, a few questions...
- 4. NEWS FLASH! The economy stinks.
- 5. Unemployment is extremely high nationally. Job openings sometimes draw hundreds, even thousands of applicants...
- 6. You're going to have to fight for a job. This ain't 1999 (or even 2006).
- 7. You must go above and beyond if you want to impress.
- 8. You've gotta get as close to perfect as you possibly can.
- 9. A lot of bad resume advice persists today, even among "professionals."
- 10. SO LISTEN UP!
- 11. BE CONCISE.
- 13. DON'T RELY ON YOUR GPA TO GET YOU A JOB. (No one really cares anymore!)
- 15. INCLUDE YOUR REFERENCES. THE FIRST TIME.
- 16. SPELL EVERYTHING RIGHT. YES, EVERYTHING.
- 17. PLUG YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA & TECHNOLOGY PROWESS
- 18. BE SPECIFIC ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE (& WHAT YOU CAN DO).
- 19. Don't just say you were a "member" of some group...
- 20. Give us details!
- 21. SELL YOUR BENEFITS. (DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE HERE TO LEARN.)
- 22. MAKE BUSINESS CARDS & BUY NICE FOLDERS.
- 23. SHOW SOME THOUGHT LEADERSHIP.
Editor's Notes
- Who has a job already, lined up? Who is nervous/apprehensive about getting a job? Who's willing to go live elsewhere, out of state, for a job? Who has no idea what kind of job they want and will pretty much take anything?
- You may have heard that we're in the midst of the worst economy since the Great Depression. Not only that, but any knowledge work (the kind you went to college for) that possibly CAN be outsourced overseas for wages you couldn't live on for a week here in the U.S. Print media, the oldest and most storied of all media, is dying a slow death. And radio is desperately trying to avoid print's fate. Welcome to the job market!!
- Unemployment is extremely high nationally (although not as bad here). Job openings sometimes draw hundreds, even thousands of applicants...
- !
- You just no longer have a choice. Too many of you out there. We employers have our pick.
- No one's perfect, but in an environment like this, you've absolutely got to put your best foot forward. You've gotta be as attractive to employers on as many possible fronts as you can.
- OR, you get no advice at all. How much did your college education cost? And how much formal training on putting together a resume have you received? Probably not much. Very odd thing...you get hung out to dry at the end, usually -- and there are very few people around to help you out even if you DO go looking for some.
- Here are 11 tips that'll help you get a job. That's the only thing I care about -- getting you a job. I prefer blunt honesty over diplomacy or sparing feelings, because that's what will get you a job. None of it's personal; it's just gonna help you get paid.
- There's a lot of crap on resumes that doesn't belong there. Honestly. One-page rule? Eh, maybe, maybe not. The problem is that, the more inexperienced the applicant, the less he/she knows about what to LEAVE OFF. If it's on your resume, you should be able to make a case for why it's important for me (the employer) to know. If it's not, eliminate it. The space on a resume and the time that the employer is gonna take to read that resume are PRECIOUS. Do not waste time or space with crap that does not relate to the job IN SOME WAY.
- Don't crowd your resume with irrelevant personal junk. As someone looking to hire, I don't care if you like skiing or photography or you make really wicked appetizers or brew your own beer. If that crap is on your resume, then you're telling me that you are completely out of relevant reasons for hiring you and you're just filling up the page. (Actually, I might care...AFTER you get hired. AFTER you get hired, that's the kind of personal shit I might stand at the water cooler and talk with you about. It will not get you a job.) There will be plenty of time to make conversation later.
- Don't expect your college GPA to carry you to a job. Most employers don't care what your GPA is. GPA is a measure of how well you perform on college exams and how well you write papers. It's a poor predictor of job performance. You can omit it completely and lose nothing. Obvious exception is grad school -- and that's because in grad school, you'll be writing more papers and taking more tests. Another possible exception is a 4.0. That can still make the occasional employer go "wow" -- beyond that, though, there's not much impressive about anyone's GPA.
- You can eliminate the "Objective". Objective is an exercise in bullshitting. You have one objective, and we both know what it is, and it's to get the job that I fucking advertised for. Otherwise, I wouldn't be sitting here holding your resume. That whole process is obvious and does not require a paragraph explaining it, let alone the first fucking paragraph in your resume. And anyway...do you really want me to pay attention to it? If the position isn't "challenging" or doesn't allow you to use your X, Y and Z skills, would you prefer to be removed from consideration? Hell no you wouldn't. If you absolutely MUST put pen to paper in order to tell me why you've sent me this resume -- do it in the cover letter.
- Do NOT tell me that your references are "Available Upon Request." Most annoying thing you can imagine. Number One piece of BAD advice that institutions give their students, so I don't blame students. But let's think about what an incredibly arrogant proposition this is. You're saying that you want me to take it on faith that everything in the resume is true and correct. But IF...IF...I am so bold that I actually want to check that information or speak to others about you -- then I just have to get back to you on that. I have to make a dedicated phone call or email JUST to ASK you if I may please have some references? Ridiculous. What's the downside of putting your references in the first time? NONE. You make it easier for the boss, and you make it easier for him to hire YOU over people who don't give their references. Maybe after calling YOUR references, he'll say hey, forget it, this is the guy I want. Miss No References can continue busing tables at Perkins.
- Spell things right. Resume is your mercilessly rehearsed best foot forward. You must be able to collaborate with others and produce one fucking error-free document in your life, and this is it. IF YOU CANNOT BE COUNTED UPON TO TURN OUT AN ERROR-FREE RESUME, THEN NO BOSS SHOULD EVER EXPECT YOU TO TURN OUT ERROR-FREE WORK at ANY OTHER TIME.
- Push your technology/social media experience. Most of your future advertising/marketing employers have NO FUCKING CLUE about how to use social media. NONE.
- Remember...your resume is the first step in a process where you're supposed to be convincing ME to give YOU money. If your best answer to that question is "SO I CAN TEACH YOU THINGS" -- basically, make my life busier than it already is -- then you are not my best candidate. There's a learning curve with any job, of course, and that's to be expected. But you learning can't be what it's all about. I want to know how you, and your skills, and your brains, and your actions, going to help me make money!
- Get business cards and folders. Use them. Don't fold up the resume like a goddamned origami flower. Biz cards -- YES, you can get them, because YES, you are good and skilled at something. If not, say you are anyway.
- Show some thought leadership. Show some at least quasi-independent interest in your industry via a Twitter account or a dedicated blog. This shows that you actually have a self-contained interest in the industry you're trying to work in, and therefore should be regarded more seriously than some college kid who clearly is just trying to get a job doing ANYTHING so he/she can quit bartending or living at home, etc.