In this presentation options for resolving conflict are presented from a psychological, social, scriptural and judicial perspective. A pattern suitable for systemic change is offered.

1. Tendencies, Options and Tips for Negotiating Solutions to
Conf lict
Compiled and Narrated by:
Veronica “Niki” Hannevig, MS (CRC Retired)
Professional Experience with Groups, Conf lict Resolution, and
Mediation.

2. Avoidance
Violence Negotiation
(Self Defense)
Transitional
Hybrids
in the
Assembly
Litigation Mediation
Arbitration

3. Proverbs 4:14-15
Do not enter the path of the wrong, And do not walk in the way of evil-doers.
Avoid it, do not pass by it; Turn away from it and pass on.
Webster’s 1828 Dictionary Definition
Avoidance - AVOID'ANCE, n.
1. The act of avoiding, or shunning.
2. The act of vacating, or the state of being vacant. It is appropriately used
for the state of a benefice becoming void, by the death, deprivation, or
resignation of the incumbent.
3. The act of annulling.
4. The course by which any thing is carried off.

4. Reconciliation
RECONCILIA'TION, n. [L. reconciliatio.]
1. The act of reconciling parties at variance;
renewal of friendship after disagreement or enmity.
Reconciliation and friendship with God, really form the basis of all rational and true enjoyment.
2. In Scripture, the means by which sinners are reconciled and brought into a
state of favor with God, after natural estrangement or enmity; the atonement;
expiation.
Seventy weeks are determined upon thy people and upon thy holy city, to finish the
transgression and to make an end of sin, and to make reconciliation for iniquity. Dan 9. Heb 2.
3. Agreement of things seemingly opposite, different or inconsistent.

5. Matthew 18:16
“But if he does not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of
two or three witnesses every word might be established.’
Webster’s 1828 Dictionary Definition
Mediation - MEDIA'TION, n. [L. medius, middle.]
1. Interposition; intervention; agency between parties at variance, with a view
to reconcile them. The contentions of individuals and families are often
terminated by the mediation of friends. The controversies of nations are
sometimes adjusted by mediation. The reconciliation of sinners to God by
the mediation of Christ, is a glorious display of divine benevolence.
2. Agency interposed; intervenient power.
The soul, during its residence in the body, does all things by the
mediation of the passions.
3. Intercession; entreaty for another.

6. Matthew 18:17 - “And if he refuses to hear them, say it to the assembly.
And if he refuses even to hear the assembly, let him be to you like a gentile
and a tax collector. “
Acts 19:35-39 - And the city clerk, . . . said, “Men of Ephesos, what man is
there who does not know that the city of the Ephesians is the guardian of the
temple of the great female mighty one Artemis, and of that which fell down
from Zeus? Therefore, if these matters are undeniable, you need to be
calm, and do not act rashly. For you have brought these men here who are
neither temple-robbers nor speaking evil of your female mighty one. If
truly then Demetrios and his fellow craftsmen have a case against
anyone, the courts are open and there are proconsuls. Let them accuse one
another. And if you have any further complaint, it shall be settled in the
regular assembly.”

7. Amendment V - No person shall be held to
answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous
crime, unless on a presentment or
indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval
forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger;
nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy
of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness
against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process
of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just
compensation.
Amendment VI - In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a
speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein
the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously
ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation;
to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process
for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for
his defence.
Amendment VII - In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall
exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no
fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the
United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

8. Conflict styles are patterned responses
to confrontation
and, therefore, strongly influence the
types of strategies selected when
dealing with conflict at home, or in a
group.
Conflict styles cluster into
five general types:
Avoiding
Competing
Accommodating
Compromising
Collaborating

9. May be Appropriate When: May be Inappropriate When:
The issue is trivial.
You need time to think.
The relationship is
insignificant.
Time is short and a decision is
not necessary.
You have little power but wish to
block the other person.
You need to prevent being
harmed.

10. May be Appropriate if: May be Inappropriate if:

11. May be Appropriate When: May be Inappropriate When:
You are likely to harbor
resentment.
You habitually accommodate
to gain acceptance. (Habitual
accommodating may - in some people -
lead to depression and lack of self-
respect.)
Used with others who wish to
collaborate rather than
enforce their decisions.

12. May be Appropriate When: May be Inappropriate When:

13. May be Appropriate When: May be Inappropriate When:
Time is short.
The issues are unimportant.
You, or the people with
whom you’re
collaborating, are mentally
or emotionally
overburdened or distraught.
The goals of the other person
are (objectively) known to
be wrong.

14. Whether we negotiate within a group or within our
selves, negotiation is a consensual process of adjusting
differences.
Following are Two Perspectives on Negotiation and Two
Processes by which Conf lict is typically Negotiated.
Adversarial and Collaborative

16. 1 - Start with agreeing to work on the problem together
- Choose an appropriate time and place
- Prepare emotionally and gather relevant information
Process for
- Build rapport and set ground rules
Negotiation
2 – Listen to the other person’s
6- Agree on what the problems are that you must negotiate
- Needs and wants
- Identify areas of common ground
- Reasons for those needs and wants
- Ask questions for clarification
- Feelings about their situation and the
- State measurable goals and objectives
needs and wants
3 - Summarize the other person’s
- Needs and wants
- Reasons given for those needs and wants 7 - Brainstorm options for solutions one issue at a time. Wait
- Feelings to evaluate options until a good list has been generated.
8 - Make proposals for solutions. Add and subtract to
proposals. Go back and forth, shaping solutions.
4 - State clearly to the other person your
- Wants and needs
- Reasons for those wants and needs
- Feelings about the situation and the wants and needs 9- If appropriate, write down the agreements.
5 - Summarize the other person’s
- Needs and wants
- Reasons given for those needs and wants 10 - Recognize that, together, you have
- Feelings succeeded in working out your problem.

17. Separate the people from the problems.
Be soft on people and hard on problems.
Focus on interests, not positions.
When positions look incompatible, look at underlying
interests and needs.
Generate options for mutual gain.
Work for a win/win approach to resolution.
Assure a fair process.
Process is just as important as the outcome.
Practice direct communication.
Talk with others, not at them, to them, or about them.
Test reality when there is an impasse.
What is the best alternative to a negotiated agreement?
If you walk away from negotiations, what do you walk into?

18. Learn more about the various aspects of healthy systems at Sherman
Institute.
www.ShermanInstitute.com and http://ShermanInstitute.org.
Thank you for attending.
n.hannevig@shermaninstitute.org