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10 Things To Drive Your Scrum Master Crazy


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You want to drive your ScrumMaster crazy here is my recipe ;)

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10 Things To Drive Your Scrum Master Crazy

  1. 1. 10 things to drive your ScrumMaster crazy Marc Löffler (@scrumphony)
  2. 2. That‘s me <ul><li>Certified Scrum Professional </li></ul><ul><li>Agile Coach </li></ul><ul><li>Twitter addicted </li></ul>
  3. 3. <ul><li>No. 1 </li></ul><ul><li>Keep doing tasks that are not part of the sprint backlog. </li></ul>
  4. 4. <ul><li>No. 2 </li></ul><ul><li>Hide your impediments. They will for sure vanish on their own. </li></ul>
  5. 5. <ul><li>No. 3 </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t talk to the PO during the sprint. Never. </li></ul>
  6. 6. <ul><li>No. 4 </li></ul><ul><li>Ignore the definition of DONE when finishing your tasks and backlog items. </li></ul>
  7. 7. <ul><li>No. 5 </li></ul><ul><li>Stand in front of the sprint backlog and say “I’ve nothing to do” or “None of the tasks are for me” (even better if 90% of the tasks are still open). </li></ul>
  8. 8. <ul><li>No. 6 </li></ul><ul><li>Prepare for the Sprint Review 5 minutes before it starts. </li></ul>
  9. 9. <ul><li>No. 7 </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t split your tasks into smaller ones even if you know they will take the whole sprint. </li></ul>
  10. 10. <ul><li>No. 8 </li></ul><ul><li>Be late, always. </li></ul>
  11. 11. <ul><li>No. 9 </li></ul><ul><li>Ask the ScrumMaster continuously which task you should do next. </li></ul>
  12. 12. <ul><li>No. 10 </li></ul><ul><li>Disturb any scrum meeting by starting multiple additional discussions on different topics or phoning somebody. </li></ul>
  13. 13. Thanks for your attention Contact details Marc Löffler [email_address] Twitter: @scrumphony