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The amazing teen brain.
Giedd, Jay N.
Scientific American. Jun2015, Vol. 312 Issue 6, p32-37. 6p. 3
Color
Photographs.
journal article

ADOLESCENT psychology
NEURAL development
COGNITION in adolescence
ADAPTABILITY (Personality)
PREFRONTAL cortex
RISK-taking behavior in adolescence
EMOTIONS in adolescence
NEUROPLASTICITY
BRAIN physiology
LIMBIC system physiology
AGE distribution
AGING
COGNITION
EMOTIONS
MAGNETIC resonance imaging
PUBERTY
RISK-taking behavior
TEENAGERS' conduct of life
The article discusses adolescent psychology, neural
development
including neurons and the myelination process, and risk-taking
behavior. The author comments on cognition, emotions and
adaptability in adolescence. Brain plasticity and the role of the
prefrontal cortex in adolescent behavior are explored.
1400
3467
0036-8733
10.1038/scientificamerican0615-32
102708130
MasterFILE Premier

Section: ADVANCES
NEUROSCIENCE
the amazing teen brain
A mismatch in the maturation of brain networks leaves
adolescents open to risky behavior but
also allows for leaps in cognition and adaptability
IN BRIEF
MRI studies show that the teenage brain is not an old child
brain or a half-baked adult brain; it is a
unique entity characterized by changeability and an increase in
networking among brain regions. The
limbic system, which drives emotions, intensifies at puberty,
but the prefrontal cortex, which controls
impulses, does not mature until the 20s. This mismatch makes
teens prone to risk taking but also allows
them to adapt readily to their environment. Earlier onset of
puberty in children worldwide is expanding the
years during which the mismatch occurs. Greater understanding
of the teen brain should help parents
and society better distinguish typical behavior from mental
illness while helping teens become the people
they want to be.
Neuroscientists have explained the risky, aggressive or just
plain baffling behavior of teenagers as the
product of a brain that is somehow compromised.
Groundbreaking research in the past 10 years,
however, shows that this view is wrong. The teen brain is not
defective. It is not a half-baked adult brain,
either. It has been forged by evolution to function differently
from that of a child or an adult.

Foremost among the teen brain's features is its ability to change
in response to the environment by
modifying the communications networks that connect brain
regions. This special changeability, or
plasticity, is a double-edged sword. It allows teenagers to make
enormous strides in thinking and
socialization. But the morphing landscape also makes them
vulnerable to dangerous behaviors and
serious mental disorders.
The most recent studies indicate that the riskiest behaviors arise
from a mismatch between the
maturation of networks in the limbic system, which drives
emotions and becomes turboboosted in
puberty, and the maturation of networks in the pre-frontal
cortex, which occurs later and promotes sound
judgment and the control of impulses. Indeed, we now know
that the pre-frontal cortex continues to
change prominently until well into a person's 20s. And yet
puberty seems to be starting earlier, extending
the "mismatch years."
The plasticity of networks linking brain regions -- and not the
growth of those regions, as previously
thought -- is key to eventually behaving like an adult.
Understanding that, and knowing that a widening
gap between the development of emotional and judgment
networks is happening in young people today,
can help parents, teachers, counselors and teenagers themselves.
People will better see that behaviors
such as risk taking, sensation seeking, and turning away from
parents and toward peers are not signs of
cognitive or emotional problems. They are a natural result of
brain development, a normal part of

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adolescents learning how to negotiate a complex world.
The same understanding can also help adults decide when to
intervene. A 15-year-old girl's departure
from her parents' tastes in clothing, music or politics may be a
source of consternation for Mom and Dad
but does not indicate mental illness. A 16-year-old boy's
propensity to skateboard without a helmet or to
accept risky dares from friends is not trivial but is more likely a
manifestation of short-range thinking and
peer pressure than a desire to hurt himself. Other exploratory
and aggressive actions might be red flags,
however. Knowing more about the unique teen brain will help
all of us learn how to separate unusual
behavior that is age-appropriate from that which might indicate
illness. Such awareness could help
society reduce the rates of teen addiction, sexually transmitted
diseases, motor vehicle accidents,
unwanted pregnancy, homicide, depression and suicide.

GREATER CONNECTIVITY
FEW PARENTS OF A TEENAGER will be surprised to hear
that the brain of a 16-year-old is different
from the brain of an eight-year-old. Yet researchers have had
difficulty pinning down these differences in
a scientific way. Wrapped in a tough, leathery membrane,
surrounded by a protective moat of fluid and
completely encased in bone, the brain is well protected from
falls, attacks from predators -- and the
curiosity of scientists.
The invention of imaging technologies such as computerized
tomography and positron-emission
tomography has offered some progress, but because these
techniques emit ionizing radiation, it was
unethical to use them for exhaustive studies of youth. The
advent of magnetic resonance imaging (MRI)
finally provided a way to lift the veil, offering a safe and
accurate way to study the anatomy and
physiology of the brain in people of all ages. Ongoing studies
are tracking thousands of twins and single
individuals throughout their lives. The consistent theme that is
emerging is that the adolescent brain does
not mature by getting larger; it matures by having its different
components become more interconnected
and by becoming more specialized.
In MRI scans, the increase in connectivity among brain regions
is indicated as greater volumes of white
matter. The "white" in white matter comes from a fatty
substance called myelin, which wraps and
insulates the long wire, or axon, that extends from a neuron's
body. Myelination -- the formation of this
fatty sheath -- takes place from childhood through adulthood
and significantly speeds up the conduction
of nerve impulses among neurons. Myelinated axons transmit

signals up to 100 times faster than
unmyelinated ones.
Myelination also accelerates the brain's information processing
by helping axons recover quickly after
they fire so that they are ready to send another message.
Quicker recovery time allows up to a 30-fold
increase in the frequency with which a given neuron can
transmit information. The combination of faster
transmission and shorter recovery time provides a 3,000fold
increase in the brain's computational
bandwidth between infancy and adulthood, permitting extensive
and elaborate networking among brain
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regions.
Recent investigations are revealing another, more nuanced role
for myelin. Neurons integrate information
from other neurons but only fire to pass it on if the incoming
input exceeds a certain electrical threshold. If

the neuron fires, that action initiates a series of molecular
changes that strengthens the synapses, or
connections, between that neuron and the input neurons.
This strengthening of connections forms the basis for learning.
What researchers themselves are now
learning is that for input from nearby and distant neurons to
arrive simultaneously at a given neuron, the
transmission must be exquisitely timed, and myelin is intimately
involved in the fine-tuning of this timing.
As children become teenagers, the rapid expansion of myelin
increasingly joins and coordinates activities
in different parts of the brain on a variety of cognitive tasks.
Scientists can now measure this changing interconnectivity by
applying graph theory, a type of
mathematics that quantifies the relation between "nodes" and
"edges" in a network. Nodes can be any
object or detectable entity, such as a neuron or a brain structure
like the hippocampus or a larger region
such as the prefrontal cortex. Edges can be any connections
among nodes, from a physical connection
such as a synapse between neurons to a statistical correlation
such as when two parts of the brain are
activated similarly during a cognitive task.
Graph theory has helped me and others to measure how different
brain regions develop and become
interconnected to one another and to correlate such features
with changes in behavior and cognition.
Brain changes are not confined to adolescence. Most brain
circuits develop in the womb, and many
continue to change throughout life, well beyond the teen years.
It turns out, however, that during that
period there is a dramatic increase in connectivity among brain
regions involved in judgment, getting

along with others and long-range planning -- abilities that
profoundly influence the remainder of a
person's life.
TIME TO SPECIALIZE
AS THE WHITE MATTER along neurons is developing with
age in adolescents, another change is taking
place. Brain development, like other complex processes in
nature, proceeds by a one-two punch of
overproduction, followed by selective elimination. Like
Michelangelo's David emerging from a block of
marble, many cognitive advances arise during a sculpting
process in which unused or maladaptive brain
cell connections are pruned away. Frequently used connections,
meanwhile, are strengthened. Although
pruning and strengthening occur throughout our lives, during
adolescence the balance shifts to
elimination, as the brain tailors itself to the demands of its
environment.
Specialization arises as unused connections among neurons are
eliminated, decreasing the brain's gray
matter. Gray matter consists largely of unmyelinated structures
such as neuron cell bodies, dendrites
(antennalike projections from the cells that receive information
from other neurons) and certain axons.
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Overall, gray matter increases during childhood, reaches a
maximum around age 10 and declines
through adolescence. It levels off during adulthood and declines
somewhat further in senescence. The
pattern also holds for the density of receptor cells on neurons
that respond to neurotransmitters --
molecules such as dopamine, serotonin and glutamate that
modulate communication among brain cells.
Although the raw amount of gray matter tops out around
puberty, full development of different brain
regions occurs at different times. Gray matter, it turns out,
peaks earliest in what are called primary
sensorimotor areas devoted to sensing and responding to sight,
sound, smell, taste and touch. It peaks
latest in the prefrontal cortex, crucial to executive functioning,
a term that encompasses a broad array of
abilities, including organization, decision making and planning,
along with the regulation of emotion.
An important feature of the prefrontal cortex is the ability to
create hypothetical what-ifs by mental time
travel -- to consider past, present and possible future outcomes
by running simulations in our mind
instead of subjecting ourselves to potentially dangerous reality.
As philosopher Karl Popper phrased it,
instead of putting ourselves in harm's way, "our theories die in
our stead." As we mature cognitively, our
executive functioning also makes us more likely to choose

larger, longer-term rewards over smaller,
shorter-term ones.
The prefrontal cortex is also a key component of circuitry
involved in social cognition -- our ability to
navigate complex social relationships, discern friend from foe,
find protection within groups and carry out
the prime directive of adolescence: to attract a mate.
Adolescence is therefore marked by changes in gray matter and
in white matter that together transform
the networking among brain regions as the adult brain takes
shape. The prefrontal cortex functions are
not absent in teenagers; they are just not as good as they are
going to get. Because they do not fully
mature until a person's 20s, teens may have trouble controlling
impulses or judging risks and rewards.
A MISMATCH IN MATURATION
UNLIKE THE PREFRONTAL CORTEX, the hormone-fueled
limbic system undergoes dramatic changes
at the time of puberty, which traditionally begins between ages
10 and 12. The system regulates emotion
and feelings of reward. It also interacts with the prefrontal
cortex during adolescence to promote novelty
seeking, risk taking and a shift toward interacting with peers.
These behaviors, deeply rooted in biology
and found in all social mammals, encourage tweens and young
teens to separate from the comfort and
safety of their families to explore new environments and seek
outside relationships. These behaviors
diminish the likelihood of inbreeding, creating a healthier
genetic population, but they can also pose
substantial dangers, especially when mixed with modern
temptations such as easy access to drugs,
firearms and high-speed motor vehicles, unchecked by sound

judgment.
What most determines teen behavior, then, is not so much the
late development of executive functioning
or the early onset of emotional behavior but a mismatch in the
timing of the two developments. If young
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teens are emotionally propelled by the limbic system, yet
prefrontal control is not as good as it is going to
get until, say, age 25, that leaves a decade of time during which
imbalances between emotional and
contemplative thinking can reign. Furthermore, puberty starting
at an earlier age, as is the case
worldwide, lengthens the gap of time between the onset of
increased risk taking and sensation seeking
and the rise of a strong, stabilizing prefrontal cortex.
The lengthening mismatch supports the growing notion that the
teen years are no longer synonymous
with adolescence. Adolescence, which society defines as the

transition from childhood to adulthood,
begins in biology with the onset of puberty but ends in a social
construct when a person achieves
independence and assumes adult roles. In the U.S., attainment
of an adult role -- often characterized by
such events as getting married, having a child and owning a
home -- is occurring approximately five
years later than in the 1970s.
The large influence of social factors in determining what
constitutes an adult has led some psychologists
to suggest that adolescence is less of a biological reality than a
product of changes in child rearing since
the industrial revolution. Yet twin studies, which examine the
relative effects of genes and environment by
following twins who have different experiences, refute the view
that social factors can substantially
override the biology. They show that the pace of biological
maturation of white and gray matter can be
influenced somewhat by the environment but that the
fundamental timing is under biological control.
Sociologists see this, too; risk taking, sensation seeking and a
move toward peers happen in all cultures,
although the degree can vary.
VULNERABILITY AND OPPORTUNITY
THE GRAY MATTER, white matter and networking
developments detected by MRI underscore the
observation that the most striking feature in teen brain
development is the extensive changes that occur.
In general, this plasticity decreases throughout adulthood, and
yet we humans still retain a level of
plasticity far longer than any other species.
Protracted maturation and prolonged plasticity allow us to "keep
our options open" in the course of our

own development, as well as the entire species' evolution. We
can thrive everywhere from the frigid North
Pole to hot islands on the equator. With technologies developed
by our brain, we can even live in vessels
orbiting our planet. Back 10,000 years ago -- a blink of an eye
in evolutionary terms -- we spent much of
our time securing food and shelter. Today many of us spend
most of our waking hours dealing with words
and symbols -- which is particularly noteworthy, given that
reading is only 5,000 years old.
Prolonged plasticity has served our species well but creates
vulnerabilities in addition to opportunities.
Adolescence is the peak time of emergence for several types of
mental illnesses, including anxiety
disorders, bipolar disorder, depression, eating disorders,
psychosis and substance abuse. Surprisingly,
50 percent of the mental illnesses people experience emerge by
age 14, and 75 percent start by age 24.
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The relation between typical adolescent brain changes and the
onset of psychopathology is complicated,
but one underlying theme may be that "moving parts get
broken." The idea is that the extensive changes
in white matter, gray matter and networking increase the chance
for problems to arise. For example,
almost all the abnormal brain findings in adult schizophrenia
resemble the typical changes of adolescent
brain development gone too far.
In many other ways, adolescence is the healthiest time of life.
The immune system, resistance to cancer,
tolerance to heat and cold, and other traits are at their greatest.
Despite physical robustness, however,
serious illness and death are 200 to 300 percent higher for teens
than for children. Motor vehicle
accidents, the number-one cause, account for about half of teen
deaths. Homicide and suicide rank
second and third. Unwanted teen pregnancy, sexually
transmitted diseases and behavior leading to
incarceration are also high, imposing tough, lifelong
consequences.
So what can doctors, parents, teachers and teens themselves do
about these pitfalls? For clinicians, the
paucity of novel medications in psychiatry and the propensity of
the adolescent brain to respond to
environmental challenges suggest that nonmedication
interventions may be most fruitful -- especially
early in teen development, when white matter, gray matter and
networking are changing fast. Treatment
of obsessive-compulsive disorder is one example; behavioral
interventions that trigger the obsessive
impulse but gradually modify a person's response may be highly
effective and could prevent a lifetime of
disability. Appreciating that the brain is changeable throughout

the teen years obliterates the notion that a
youth is a "lost cause." It offers optimism that interventions can
change a teenager's life course.
More study will help, too. The infrastructure for adolescent
research is not well developed, funding for this
work is meager and few neuroscientists specialize in this age
group. The good news is that as
researchers clarify the mechanisms and influences of adolescent
brain developments, more resources
and scientists are being drawn into the field, eager to minimize
risks for teenagers and harness the
incredible plasticity of the teen brain.
Understanding that the adolescent brain is unique and rapidly
changing can help parents, society and
teens themselves to better manage the risks and grasp the
opportunities of the teenage years. Knowing
that prefrontal executive functions are still under construction,
for example, may help parents to not
overreact when their daughter suddenly dyes her hair orange
and instead take solace in the notion that
there is hope for better judgment in the future. Plasticity also
suggests that constructive dialogue between
parents and teens about issues such as freedoms and
responsibilities can influence development.
Adolescents' inherent capacity to adapt raises questions about
the impact of one of the biggest
environmental changes in history: the digital revolution.
Computers, video games, cell phones and apps
have in the past 20 years profoundly affected the way teens
learn, play and interact. Voluminous
information is available, but the quality varies greatly. The skill
of the future will not be to remember facts
but to critically evaluate a vast expanse of data, to discern

signal from noise, to synthesize content and to
apply that synthesis to real-world problem solving. Educators
should challenge the adolescent brain with
these tasks, to train its plasticity on the demands of the digital
age.
Greater society has some compelling opportunities as well. For
one thing, it could be more focused on
harnessing the passion, creativity and skills of the unique
adolescent development period. Society should
also realize that the teen years are a turning point for a life of
peaceful citizenship, aggression or, in rare
cases, radicalization. Across all cultures, adolescents are the
most vulnerable to being recruited as
soldiers and terrorists, as well as the most likely to be
influenced to become teachers and engineers.
Greater understanding of the teen brain could also help judges
and jurors reach decisions in criminal
trials.
For teens themselves, the new insights of adolescent
neuroscience should encourage them to challenge
their brain with the kinds of skills that they want to excel at for
the remainder of their lives. They have a
marvelous opportunity to craft their own identity and to
optimize their brain according to their choosing for
a data-rich future that will be dramatically different from the

present lives of their parents.
MORE TO EXPLORE
The Primal Teen: What the New Discoveries about the Teenage
Brain Tell Us about Our Kids. Barbara
Strauch. Doubleday, 2003.
Development of Brain Structural Connectivity between Ages 12
and 30: A 4-Tesla Diffusion Imaging
Study in 439 Adolescents and Adults. Emily L. Dennis et al. in
NeuroImage, Vol. 64, pages 671-684;
January 1, 2013.
Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of
Adolescence. Laurence Steinberg. Houghton
Mifflin Harcourt, 2014.
FROM OUR ARCHIVES
The Myth of the Teen Brain. Robert Epstein; Scientific
American Mind, April/May 2007.
A NEW VIEW
Greater Networking Brings Maturity
The most significant change taking place in an adolescent brain
is not the growth of brain regions but
the increase in communications among groups of neurons. When
an analytical technique called graph
theory is applied to data from MRI scans, it shows that from
ages 12 to 30, connections between certain
brain regions or neuron groups become stronger (black lines
that get thicker). The analysis also shows
that certain regions and groups become more widely connected
(green circles that get larger). These
changes ultimately help the brain to specialize in everything
from complex thinking to being socially
adept.
ROOTS OF RISK TAKING

Emotion vs. Control
Teenagers are more likely than children or adults to engage in
risky behavior, in part because of a
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mismatch between two major brain regions. Development of the
hormone-fueled limbic system (purple),
which drives emotions, intensifies as puberty begins (typically
between ages 10 to 12), and the system
matures over the next several years. But the prefrontal cortex
(green), which keeps a lid on impulsive
actions, does not approach full development until a decade later,
leaving an imbalance during the interim

years. Puberty is starting earlier, too, boosting hormones when
the prefrontal cortex is even less mature.
PHOTO (COLOR): Limbic region
PHOTO (COLOR): Increasing Communications among Brain
Regions over Time
PHOTO (COLOR)
~~~~~~~~
By Jay N. Giedd
Jay N. Giedd is chair of the division of child and adolescent
psychiatry at the University of California, San
Diego, and a professor at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School
of Public Health. He is also editor in chief
of the journal Mind, Brain, and Education.
Scientific American is a registered trademark of Nature
America, Inc. and its content may not be copied
or emailed to multiple sites or posted to a listserv without the
copyright holder's express written
permission. However, users may print, download, or email
articles for individual use.
The questions:
_____________________________________________________
Question One: (four possible points)
The Japanese preschool gives children 50% of their day in
preschool as free play.
What did we learn in this course that explains what that much
free unstructured play offers children?
Length: A short paragraph is fine here.

_____________________________________________________
______
Question Two: (four possible points)
A. Please define “what equality in schooling” means and also
what “equity in schooling” means. (PLEASE see link below for
article pertaining to this question)
Finnish education chief: ‘We created a school system based on
equality’
http://chalkboard.tol.org/finnish-education-chief-we-created-a-
school-system-based-on-equality/
B. If you or your children attended or are attending American
schools (elementary, middle, and high school) Do you believe
American education is built on either or both of these concepts?
Please carefully explain your answer.
Two or three paragraphs, double-spaced is fine here.
Note: If you are not familiar with American schools, please let
me know here.
_____________________________________________________
______
Question Three: (four possible points)
What is the gap that Giedd discusses in his Week Six eReserve
article “
The Amazing Teen Brain”
A. What is this gap? Please define it.
B. Why does this gap matter to parents and teens?
C. What role should parents play to help their teen during this
“gap” time.
Please write two or three paragraphs, double-spaced.
______________________________________
Question Four: (four possible points)

A. What changes need to occur in parenting behaviors as a child
becomes a teen?
B. Why are these changes necessary?
Two or three paragraphs, double-spaced, is fine here.
_____________________________________________________
__________
Question Five (four possible points)
A. What is Richard Lerner’s view of the things parents should
help their teens do?
Length: One paragraph or two, double-spaced, is fine here.
B. Please discuss how Dr.Lerner's ideas about working with
teens differ from the way you grew up and were parented. One
or two paragraphs is fine.
_____________________________________________________
___________
__________________________
Week Six Learning Resources:
Note: These readings will help you with the final exam. You
might get a head start on the final exam by reading carefully
now. (I am redesigning the final exam, but it will be based, in
part, on these readings.)
1. Smithsonian Magazine. Interview with Richard Lerner,
psychologist, Medford, MA. This one-page interview is an
eReserve for our course. Citation:: Jaffee,Eric.,(September
2007).
Richard Lerner. (Smithsonian Magazine, vol.38, Issue
6, page 28-28.)
2. Lerner, Richard M. (2007).

The Good Teen. (New York: The Stonesong Press).
Chapter 6: Character, pp. 137-162. This article is an eReserve
for our course. It is found under Course
Resources/eReserves/Week Six.
3. Giedd, J. N. (June, 2015) The Amazing teen Brain.
Scientific American, vol 312, no.6, pp. 33-37. This
article is an eReserve for our course. It is found under Course
Resources/eReserves/Week Six. Please read this very interesting
article, not for the neuroscience, but for the main points. You
are not requested to learn the neuroscience, just think about the
main findings and the implications for us as parents.
4. Instructor’s lecture notes on adolescents in the family. They
are here below:
Lecture notes: Adolescents in the family:
_____________________________
As children reach pre-adolescence and adolescence, both
parents need to turn from control and punishment to
conversation, trust, and positive rewards of more adult
privileges. Doing this you will gain the opportunity to support
and guide your teens through adolescence and to be their
sounding board for ideas. You will also support their trying out
internal (intrinsic) control as you gradually leave off using
external (extrinsic) controls that seemed appropriate for much
younger children. That is to say, it is time for them to fly free.
My mother always said to me (and I think it came from Kahlil
Gibran, the Syrian-American philosopher and artist) that the
measure of your success as a parent is the extent to which your
children can fly away free and succeed.
In a positive regime household, you have turned attention away
from threats and groundings and gifts contingent on future good
behavior (another form of threat), to praise and offering teens
additional adult privileges. You also have kept alive the
communication channels in which your teen can talk to you to
help decide what courses of action are ethical or moral.

Moving from extrinsic to intrinsic control: As your children
reach pre-adolescence and adolescence, both parents need to
turn from control and punishment to conversation, trust, and
positive rewards. It is time for them to fly free, and you have
the middle school and high school years to prepare them if you
have a positive system running in your household. If you
instead have a grounding and threats system and strong control
and discipline in your household your teen is unlikely to
confide in you or ask you for advice in making a decision. If
you are trying to hit a teen or shouting at her or him, him, or
grounding the teen, you cannot expect your teen to bring up
serious issues to discuss with you and your teen cannot expect
you to be a non-judgmental listener. Ouch! Let’s turn that last
very negative sentence around: You can change your behavior
to help meet your teen’s needs, and that can open up a line of
communication and trust.
That is what Richard Lerner interview and readings are
all about.
___________________________
Understanding the Giedd article "The Amazing Teen Brain"
(eReserve, week 6): The limbic system (big, frightening adult
emotions) matures at puberty, but the prefontal cortex (the
brakes on the system, inhibition, planning, decision making)
does not fully mature and connections to it are not fully
myelinated (insulated) until the the teen is in her or his late 20s.
This recent discovery helps explain difficulty teens have in
decision-making and in reining in their emotions. It also
explains why teens need to discuss decisions and issues with a
patient, non-judgmental listener, hopefully a parent or both
parents.
___________________________
Adolescence is a time to adjust your parenting style. Just as you
got very good at the system you run in your home, and to the
level of control you have over your teen, your teen has changed

from a child to a young, unfinished adult who deserves to learn
how to be a responsible, pleasant adult who can be trusted and
who will bring confusing issues to you. Now instead of giving
orders, you are a consultant, a non-judgmental consultant who is
available for listening and conversation.
You need to start around the beginning of middle school, which
is a very difficult transition for many youngsters, to find
congenial ways to work with your teen and establish a good,
nonjudgmental listening ability to help your teen with decisions.
By seventh grade young teens have developed adult cognitive
judgment abilities, so they are ready, actually “itching” to take
this new reasoning out for a spin. This is the indicator that you
now have a new and different role as you gently guide them as
they try out their own values you taught them in the past.
And, if I haven’t brought in this favorite quotation of mine,
here it is: Confucius says the wise ruler models the behavior he
expects from his subjects. That is, your teens are watching how
you communicate with family members, with a spouse, with
children. Serious respect and kindly communications should be
the rule of the day. You must be keenly aware that you are the
model for behavior now more than ever. Your anger will swiftly
be matched and overwhelmed by your teen’s anger, so collect
your thoughts carefully before you boil over.
Moving from control to trust: As your children reach pre-
adolescence and adolescence, both parents need to turn from
control and punishment to conversation, trust, and positive
rewards.
Listen: Be a totally nonjudgmental listener. Be available for
your teen to talk to you. Recognize that teens have the logical
capability to consider a vast number of hypothetical
possibilities and they wish to raise and talk about and mull over
every single one of them (!) and they need your help and
suggestions (not demands) so they can make their own decisions
well.

Supporting Healthy Identity Development and Handling
Consequences of Teenagers’ New Cognitive Capacities:Two
great text boxes:
There are two excellent text boxes in an assigned reading that is
on eReserves. These two text boxes are wonderful gems of
information about how to deal happily with teens.
Here is the Reserved Reading:
Berk, Laura A. Development Through the Lifespan, 4th Edition.
This is an eReserve for Week Six.
The first text box is titled “Handling Everyday Consequences of
Teenagers’ New Cognitive Capacities,” and it is found on page
385. The reading around the box further explains the issues of
imaginary audience and
personal fable.
The second text box is in the same eReserve reading, but is
found on page 405. It is titled “Supporting Healthy Identity
Development.” Again, text around the box will be very helpful
to read.
These two text boxes contain the most helpful information you
will find in this course to assist you in understanding and
working with your teens.
Respect: Treat your teen with great respect in every encounter.
Confucius: The Wise Leader models the behavior he expects
from his subjects. Model very respectful behavior to your
spouse or partner, in case your behavior has “slipped.” (My
husband and I had to shape ourselves up a little at this point!)
You are showing your teen how to be an adult, so at every
moment, they are watching to see what you do and say and they
will copy you. Sadly, you need to be on your best behavior. It
makes a huge difference! My husband and I worked hard to
“clean up our act” (though it wasn’t too bad, I thought) and it
made a difference. Whatever you do or say you are modeling
exactly the tone of voice and the facial expressions you expect
of your teen.

Honor: Helping your teen recognize that everything you do from
now on reflects on the honor and the pride of this family. You
are now a fully functioning young person who can bring honor
(or shame) to this entire family. Talk about dinner time as
“where this family resides.” Some who work nights—find
another time, perhaps breakfasts or Saturday and Sunday
dinner?
Pride and pleasure: Making dinner time or meal time
sacrosanct. The dining room table is a place where everybody
behaves politely and respectfully and everybody has a good
time and everyone has interesting and fun things to contribute.
All cell phones and electronics are left in another room. TV is
turned off.
We had dinner together at the table every night, even when
dinner might be a selection of reheated leftovers. From the time
the children were born we had them at the table (maybe in a
baby carrier!) and we often had guests, so dinnertime was
always a very special time for us and children were valued
colleagues at the table. When our kids became teens, we began
to have students living with us, and every weekend we fed them
(starving grad students!) and we also invited my Ph.D. advisor
to dinner. The grad students who lived with us also were
encouraged to invite their friends, girlfriends, etc. Students
often cooked dishes for Saturday dinner and we had perhaps 10
to 12 people to dinner. So the tradition of “dinner party” events
was well established from the time they were young. Our kids at
every age always were at the table and part of the party. When
our kids began inviting their friends to Saturday night dinners,
their friends often struggled to feel comfortable at a dinner
party because they had never been invited to such an event or
been comfortable talking to adults. However, “regulars” –
friends of our kids soon began to enjoy themselves. These were
good times.
Choices not orders: Instead of “chores” I gave my kids a choice:

about dinner: You can either help me cook dinner or you can do
the dishes. They became excellent cooks! My husband,
miraculously began doing the dishes! Instead of “Clean your
room right now!” I ask if they will have time before guests
come on Friday to clean his room. Don’t demand a certain time
or don’t demand anything “right now!”
We were always at home: Why kids hung out at our house on
weekends and not at other houses? I would vastly prefer that
teens hang out at our house and not at someone else’s house,
since most parents go somewhere Friday or Saturday or Sunday
nights, and I do not want teens alone in a house when parents
are not there. We were always home. Went upstairs to our
bedroom to watch TV so we are not “around” in their faces, but
our door was always wide open.
If friends were coming over, I helped my son clean up anything
that needed cleaning up and I made a dessert for his friends.
Parenting: A measure of good parenting is extent to which your
teen can fly free successfully
Here is a list of things you need to help your teen become
competent at before they leave home: Starts in 6th grade or as
late as freshman year of high school, for these things take a
long time to master! Where do these things come from? I was
trained and served as a mentor for five or six years at Stanford
while I was a doctoral student. These are things I noticed
students had concerns or problems with, because this was their
first time away from home and they had not been prepared by
parents.
For parents:
1. Teaching your teen pride in himself, herself: Your message is
softer than this, but gets this across to your teen: "You can
move forward into a happy life and get out of life what you
want, or you can make poor choices that linger with you and
damage your reputation, your family’s reputation, and your

future." You also need to remind your teen that his or her
choices affect the honor and pride of your whole family.
2. Teaching your teen by helping instead of pointing out flaws.
3. Being a nonjudgmental listener to help your teen with
decisions.
4. Taking the time to teach your teen to be a safe driver
5. Teaching sex education, birth control, understanding sexual
and workplace harassment. Remember, if you cannot discuss
these things comfortably or pleasantly with your teen, your teen
will look for pals to "educate" him or her. Far better to teach
your teen your values. Plan the discussion as if you are
speaking to a close adult friend.
6. Modeling responsible drinking at home (mom and dad!) and
discussing the issues of addiction at home. Discuss the dangers
of smoking. If you need info, please email me: I have an
article that demonstrates that addiction begins with the very
first cigarette.
For teens: They can be learning to do these things if they have
parental help:
1. being responsible for doing their homework without parental
questioning, but also asking for help when they need help at
school or at home.
2. doing their own laundry,
3. changing sheets (more than once a year!)
4. learning how to cook.
5. cleaning your room, the apartment or house,
6. leaving the sink free of dishes.
7. earning parental trust, and receiving adult privileges in
exchange.
For older teens, perhaps junior and senior year of high school:
1. Obtaining and managing a bank account and a debit card,
2. Practicing interviewing for a job (We used to do role playing
where I would take the part of the poor kid and my son would
take the part of the horrible hiring manager. Good laughter.)
3. holding down a job,
4. conversing comfortably with adults.

5. safely and responsibly driving a car and keeping parents
informed about where you are at all times.
6. Setting your own reasonable curfews and keeping them or
calling home to explain circumstances and when you will be
home.
7. Learning forgiveness, real, honest forgiveness. Learning not
to sulk or refuse to speak to others when you are angry. Anger
happens and should be over quickly.
8. Learning to harness your newly-found anger, and not taking
your new anger out for a spin. Learning that anger hurts
everyone around you. Anger trashes all the good things you
have done.
9. Managing friendships and relationships, and learning how to
end friendships and romantic relationships that are not positive
You have only the years from middle school to the end of high
school to teach your child these life skills and lessons before he
or she leaves home. So if you are fighting with and grounding
your teen, and trying your best to stay in control, you are losing
the time you have left to help your teen fly free successfully.
The best approach is to start way back in middle school with a
praise, not punishment regimen so there is a happy and
understanding relationship and warmth in your exchanges with
your pre-teen and teen. A major help to teens is to share your
personal experiences growing up. Teens love to hear those
stories, both good and bad! Sharing your actual journey to
adulthood (warts and all!) makes you more human to them.
End of lecture notes.
___________________________

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