Zhou 1 Time and Memory in Two Portal Fantasies: An Analysis of Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland and "Windeye" Life is a collection of moments, and some memories last forever. Brian Evenson demonstrated this in “Windeye,”a story of a man who faces mental challenges because of the life-long memory of his sister. In spite of the fact that his mother insists that the sister did not exist, the protagonist stuck to this belief until his old age. The basis of the protagonist’s problems is the intense love and unforgettable memories he shared with his imagined sister. A great portion of his childhood memories is centered around his sister and their exploration of the windeye. Windeye, the corruption of the word window, is a portal that causes the disappearance of the protagonist’s sister. The popular portal fantasy, Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland, illustrates a similar story in the same sub-genre where a girl travels through a rabbit hole and experiences a fantasy world which chronicles her changes from naive child- like responses to more adult-like problem solving reactions. In “Windeye,” Brian Evenson utilizes the portal trope to develop conflict and outcomes while exploring the themes of time and memory. In both stories, the use of the portal trope creates a distinct world that is separate from reality; however, the outcomes are different, and ultimately, Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland presents the theme of growth while “Windeye” explores time and memories. The use of time factors allows the reader to travel back to the origin of the story in “Windeye” and experience the beginning of the central conflict. It is in his past that the protagonist develops strong childhood memories of a sister, which is the cause of his future mental challenges. In the present, the narrator is old and rickety as he uses a cane to walk but is still reminiscent of the past (Evenson). He holds firm to the belief that he might have a chance of meeting his sister again and thus contemplates the future and the sister’s appearance. The plot of “Windeye” is composed of distinctive life moments: the past, the present, and the future, which offer a clear and complete description of the events. The theme Zhou 2 of time allows the reader to understand why the protagonist profoundly feels that his sister exists. In essence, it is time travel that gives the story a picture of the events that lead to the current situation. The portal fantasy is a fictional literary device where a character enters into a fantastical world through a portal or a hole. In Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Carroll uses a rabbit hole as a physical portal to move through time. Comparably, Evenson utilizes the windeye, a window that can only be seen from one side, as a physical portal. When the sister touches the windeye, her brother believes that she enters into another reality through the portal as Alice does. In contrast, the protagonist also experiences a new reality as he is.

1. Zhou 1
Time and Memory in Two Portal Fantasies: An Analysis of
Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland and "Windeye"
Life is a collection of moments, and some memories last
forever. Brian Evenson
demonstrated this in “Windeye,”a story of a man who faces
mental challenges because of the
life-long memory of his sister. In spite of the fact that his
mother insists that the sister did not
exist, the protagonist stuck to this belief until his old age. The
basis of the protagonist’s
problems is the intense love and unforgettable memories he
shared with his imagined sister.
A great portion of his childhood memories is centered around
his sister and their exploration
of the windeye. Windeye, the corruption of the word window, is
a portal that causes the
disappearance of the protagonist’s sister. The popular portal
fantasy, Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland, illustrates a similar
story in the same sub-genre where a girl travels through a
rabbit hole and experiences a fantasy world which chronicles
her changes from naive child-
like responses to more adult-like problem solving reactions. In
“Windeye,” Brian Evenson
utilizes the portal trope to develop conflict and outcomes while
exploring the themes of time
and memory. In both stories, the use of the portal trope creates
a distinct world that is
separate from reality; however, the outcomes are different, and
ultimately, Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland presents the theme

2. of growth while “Windeye” explores time and memories.
The use of time factors allows the reader to travel back to
the origin of the story in “Windeye” and experience the
beginning of the central conflict. It is in his past that the
protagonist develops strong childhood memories of a sister,
which is the cause of his future
mental challenges. In the present, the narrator is old and rickety
as he uses a cane to walk but
is still reminiscent of the past (Evenson). He holds firm to the
belief that he might have a
chance of meeting his sister again and thus contemplates the
future and the sister’s
appearance. The plot of “Windeye” is composed of distinctive
life moments: the past, the
present, and the future, which offer a clear and complete
description of the events. The theme
Zhou 2
of time allows the reader to understand why the protagonist
profoundly feels that his sister exists. In essence, it is time
travel that gives the story a picture of the events that lead to the
current situation.
The portal fantasy is a fictional literary device where a
character enters into a
fantastical world through a portal or a hole. In Alice’s
Adventures in Wonderland, Carroll
uses a rabbit hole as a physical portal to move through time.
Comparably, Evenson utilizes
the windeye, a window that can only be seen from one side, as a
physical portal. When the
sister touches the windeye, her brother believes that she enters
into another reality through
the portal as Alice does. In contrast, the protagonist also
experiences a new reality as he is

3. forced through a mental portal which challenges the memories
of his childhood.
Unfortunately, he starts living in a cold, collapsed world filled
with judgment and medical
treatment since no one believed in his sister’s existence. This
new reality has rejected all of
his childhood memories which are entwined with the memories
of his sister. It is mysterious
that the narrator begins to question his own beliefs—either he
lives in reality of his mother
and doctors, or the world that he remembers so vividly in his
mind. The use of portal trope
offers two assumptions of his later lived reality. On the one
hand, the sister never not exist,
and the windeye does not exist either; the protagonist has
mental challenges, and after his
mom affirms that the sister never existed, he snaps back into
that reality. On the other hand,
the sister may exist but never returns from the windeye; the
protagonist’s memories are
accurate, and he lives in a world where everyone else is
misinformed. In Contrast, Alice does
not have the confusion about distinction between dream and
reality. For example, her
exploration of evidences like strange creatures and her body
change lead her to believe that
Wonderland is not reality. She eventually wakes up from the
dream and proves her
assumption.
In a typical portal fantasy, the characters understand the
concepts of the world either
Zhou 3
throughout the adventure or after their return home. During her

4. adventure in Wonderland,
Alice has explored her true identity and become more mature in
the end. Contrarily, in
“Windeye,” the protagonist has never renounced the childhood
memories of his sister even
when he reaches adulthood. Although he has been under medical
treatment for years, he
continues to insist on his belief and holds on to the hope that
his sister will return in the future
as Evenson affirms, “If he stopped believing, what hope would
be there be for her.” The fact
that he imagines a sister in the first place is a clear indication
that he is a lonely child and
seeks a way of comforting himself. There is no mention of a
father, and the mother may be
neglectful since she is unaware that he plays with an imaginary
sister. This loneliness evokes
the protagonist’s desire to have a friend or a younger sibling;
the desire creates the imagined
memories which carry the intense love for his sister. Thus, the
unforgettable memories are his
only hope of surviving the mental challenge of living until he
meets his sister again in the
future.
Carroll gives intricate details of the adventures of Alice in an
imagined world that
allows the reader to become part of the fantasy. According to
Carroll, Alice was trapped in
the pool of tears, and “just then her head struck against the roof
of the hall: in fact, she was
now more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little
golden key and hurried off to
the garden door” (16). The reader experiences the dangerous
situation and shares the anxious
feeling with Alice. Evenson, on the other hand, makes clear
descriptions of the protagonist’s

5. psychological activity which connects his childhood memories
to the outcome of his firm
belief. In his mind, his sister is not dead, but she is not living in
real life either; there is a
difference between these two status according to him. She lives
an immortal life in his
memories as he expects to see her as a young girl in the future.
Additionally, he vividly
remembers the games they played in their childhood, the
discovery of the windeye in the
house, and his attempt to save her. For instance, as he recalls,
“He wrapped his arms around
Zhou 4
her legs to keep her from falling” (Evenson). Body language is
a symbol of physical
communication; it creates an illusion that the sister indeed
exists. In the process, it is
inevitable that the readers share some of the tender feelings the
protagonist has for his sister. As a result, when the narrator
starts thinking of the future and any chances of ever seeing her
again, the reader empathizes with him.
Conclusively, the use of portal trope in Alice’s Adventure in
Wonderland and
“Windeye” results in different outcomes; while Alice embraces
a new conception of the
world and becomes a mature individual, the protagonist of
“Windeye” continues to embrace
the memories of his sister and has never wavered in his belief
regarding her existence. The
memories and his intense love for his sister is a source of
strength that allows him to survive
in his collapsed world. The use of time and memories as a

6. theme in the story effectively
enables the reader to develop an in-depth understanding of the
complexity of unfolding
events. In this way, the author brings the reader closer to the
story which improves the
intensity of the narration. Ultimately, while Alice’s Adventure
in Wonderland illustrates an
imagined world that reflects reality and affects personal change,
“Windeye” gives the reader
an opportunity to gain insight into the main character’s personal
challenges of choosing his
reality and provides an understanding of people who face
mental challenges caused by
loneliness.
Zhou 5
Works Cited
Carroll, Lewis. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland; Through the
Looking Glass. Barnes &
Noble, Inc., 2015.
Evenson, Brian. “Windeye.” PEN America, 9 Oct. 2009,
pen.org/windeye/.
History | Writing a Long-Answer Essay, Part 2
Writing a Long-Answer Essay, Part 2
You have practiced writing the introduction and body
paragraphs of a long-answer essay. In this document, you will
first review what you learned about those essay components.
Then you’ll write a conclusion to your essay. Finally, you will
evaluate your essay and a sample essay based on the College
Board Scoring Guide.
Review: Introduction and Body Paragraphs

7. During the College Board Exam (AP Test) for World History,
you must answer two free response essay questions in the final
section of the test: one document-based essay and one long-
answer essay. Free response essay questions on the AP World
History Exam are designed to assess your understanding of
historical themes and concepts along with your ability to
formulate clear and logical responses. Questions are typically
straightforward and address various historical topics covered
throughout the AP World History course. You should answer the
questions using facts and information from memory. Long-
answer essays generally ask you to analyze, assess, and/or
evaluate causes and effects of particular historical subjects.
Prior to writing your essay, you should take a few minutes to
organize your thoughts. Create a simple road map for your essay
to ensure that you answer the question completely and include
all relevant information. Higher-scoring essays typically include
a strong defendable thesis statement, organized body paragraphs
that include numerous examples and analysis of relevant
information, and a strong summarizing conclusion.
Although there are many ways to write an essay, you should
follow the standard five paragraph essay format:
Introductory paragraph, including thesis statement,
organizational statement, and hook
Body paragraph with supporting evidence and analysis
Body paragraph with supporting evidence and analysis
Body paragraph with supporting evidence and analysis
Concluding/Summarizing paragraph
Begin your essay with a strong introductory paragraph that
introduces the essay’s subject and answers the question posed in
very general terms. The introduction should begin with a topic
sentence, which introduces the question by providing
appropriate historical context and serves to demonstrate that
you have a firm understanding of the essay topic. A good topic
sentence should also act as a “hook” to grab the interest of the
reader. The introduction should contain an organizational
statement, stating the three topics that will be covered in detail

8. in the body paragraphs of the essay. Finally, the introduction
must contain a thesis statement. A thesis statement thoroughly
addresses the entire essay question and clarifies your position
or approach.
For your introduction, follow this simple paragraph structure:
1. Topic sentence
1. Organizational statement
1. Thesis statement
The bulk of the essay is contained in the body paragraphs,
which supply the necessary details, examples, assertions, and
evidence to support the thesis statement. Due to time
constraints, write no more than three solid body paragraphs,
each of which discusses a discrete topic and together provide a
comprehensive response to the question. An effective body
paragraph begins with a topic sentence that provides focus for
the rest of the paragraph and introduces two or three related
examples that support the thesis statement. When giving
examples, provide commentary to explain why the information
is important, what it means, and how it ultimately relates to the
thesis and the question being answered. Essays should
incorporate only well-chosen examples that are clearly
connected to the topic sentence. Avoid story telling or simply
listing information, as this will ultimately draw attention away
from the main point of the essay. Throughout the body of the
essay, refer to your thesis to strengthen your argument and
clarify the relevance of the information that is presented. The
final sentence of a good body paragraph should summarize the
information as well as act as a transition sentence to the ideas
discussed in the next paragraph.
Use this simple paragraph structure for each body paragraph:
1. topic sentence
1. fact/example related to the topic sentence
1. commentary on the example
1. another fact/example
1. commentary
1. summarizing sentence

9. Writing a Conclusion
If you have followed a clear strategy throughout your essay, a
strong conclusion can add significantly to your final score. The
concluding paragraph is your last chance to positively influence
the AP grader and should be carefully written with this in mind.
The concluding paragraph acts as a review for what has already
been written in the body of the essay. It should not, however, be
a simple repetition of the introductory paragraph or restate the
thesis verbatim. Instead, the main topics of each body paragraph
should be restated in a slightly different way while maintaining
the essential content and meaning of the thesis.
While the introduction and body paragraphs should focus on the
question asked, the conclusion is an opportunity to venture
outside the question to make additional analytical points.
Remember, these questions were chosen because they represent
broad themes in world history. Use this opportunity to
demonstrate your understanding of the ties to larger issues. For
example, if an essay question focused on secular humanism, the
concluding paragraph might mention Petrarch, Machiavelli, and
Bruni, all of whom would have been discussed previously in the
body paragraphs, and then state the influence of these humanists
on later writers. While it is acceptable to summarize
information discussed in the body paragraphs, be careful not to
include new information in the conclusion.
Because you may be pressured for time at this point in the
exam, limit your conclusion to four to six sentences. While
there is no single format for writing a strong concluding
paragraph, the best conclusions act as a summary and
demonstrate the larger relevance of the question and the
information discussed. Follow basic guidelines for writing a
solid conclusion. The thesis statement found in the introductory
paragraph should be restated in the conclusion. Avoid beginning
phrases with in conclusion, in summary, or in closing. Never
assume the reader agrees with the essay, and avoid making
emotionally charged statements that might negatively influence

10. the AP grader. Any evidence including new information,
quotations, statistics, and examples should appear in the body of
the paper. The purpose of the conclusion is to summarize that
knowledge, not add to it.Here is an example of a strong
concluding paragraph:
Throughout this tumultuous time of warfare and clinical
upheaval (from the sixteenth through the eighteenth centuries),
many people devoted themselves to science and to the progress
of science. Science contended with religion and sparked new
philosophical concepts. The Scientific Revolution was a major
step in changing not only Europe but the rest of the world.
AP World History Exam writers craft long-answer essay
questions to represent some of the most important themes of the
course. In the conclusion, you are given the opportunity to
demonstrate that you recognize the importance of a theme and
to expound on it. In this way, you are able to show your control
of the question and your grasp of the information as part of the
larger AP World History curriculum. For example, if the essay
question asks you to evaluate the economic and political factors
accounting for the failure of the German Weimar Republic
(1918–1933), you could make some important concluding
remarks. A good conclusion might consider why the Weimar
Republic disappeared in 1933 in the context of the period
between the two world wars.
Here is an example written by a student writer:
The Weimar Republic was born in a time of chaos and
revolution after World War I. Considering this, it never had
much chance of success. Economic problems like reparations
and the Great Depression, along with Germany’s lack of
democratic history and anger over the Versailles Treaty, proved
almost unsolvable. Weimar’s failure was significant. Because
Germany was unable to establish democracy, Hitler came to
power in 1933 and quickly worked to undo the Treaty of
Versailles. These policies led eventually to a conflict even
larger and more violent—World War II.

11. Student Practice
Write a sample conclusion for the essay you began previously.
Recall the essay question prompt: Compare and contrast key
characteristics of two early civilizations (choose from
Mesopotamian, Shang, Indus Valley, Chavin, and Phoenician) in
terms of three of the following: economy, political system, art
and architecture, religion, technology, legacy.
Remember these rules when writing your conclusion:
Review the information in the body of the essay.
Restate the thesis statement.
Add additional analytical points.
Avoid adding new information.
Don't use phrases beginning with "in conclusion," "in
summary," or "in closing."
Identifying College Board Guidelines
Now that you have written all paragraphs of your comparative
essay, it’s time to learn how long-answer essays are
graded.Scoring Guide for the Long-Answer Essay
Maximum Possible Points: 6A. Thesis: 0-1 point
Skills assessed: Argumentation + targeted skill (Continuity and
Change Over Time, Comparison, Causation, or Periodization)
To earn 1 point your essay must
State a thesis that directly addresses all parts of the question.
The thesis must do more than restate the question.B. Support for
argument: 0-2 points
Skills assessed: Argumentation, Use of Evidence
To earn 1 point your essay must
Support the stated thesis (or make a relevant argument) using
specific evidence.
To earn 2 points your essay must
Support the stated thesis (or make a relevant argument) using
specific evidence.
Clearly and consistently state how the evidence supports the
thesis or argument.

12. Establish clear linkages between the evidence and the thesis or
argument.C. Application of targeted historical thinking skill: 0-
2 point
Skill assessed: Targeted skill
For questions assessing CONTINUITY AND CHANGE OVER
TIME
To earn 1 point your essay must
Describe historical continuity.
Describe change over time.
To earn 2 points your essay must
Describe historical continuity.
Describe change over time.
Analyze specific examples that illustrate historical continuity.
Analyze specific examples that illustrate change over time.
For questions assessing COMPARISON
To earn 1 point your essay must
Describe similarities AND differences among historical
developments.
To earn 2 points your essay must
Describe similarities AND differences among historical
developments.
Analyze the reasons for the similarities and differences OR
(depending on the prompt) evaluate the relative significance of
the historical developments.
For questions assessing CAUSATION
To earn 1 point your essay must
Describe causes AND/OR effects of a historical development.
To earn 2 points your essay must
Describe causes AND/OR effects of a historical development.
Analyze specific examples that illustrate causes AND/OR
effects of a historical development.
For questions assessing PERIODIZATION
To earn 1 point your essay must
Describe the ways in which the historical development specified
in in the prompt was different from OR similar to developments
that preceded and/or followed.

13. To earn 2 points your essay must
Describe the ways in which the historical development specified
in in the prompt was different from OR similar to developments
that preceded and/or followed.
Provide specific examples to illustrate the analysis.D.
Synthesis: 0-1 point
Skill assessed: Synthesis
To earn 1 point your essay must
Synthesize the argument, evidence, and context into a coherent
and persuasive essay.
Evaluating Your Essay
Use the scoring guide above and the checklist below to evaluate
and revise your essay. Remember, this is the essay that you will
turn in as a graded assignment.
Essay Prompt: Compare and contrast key characteristics of two
early civilizations (choose from Mesopotamian, Shang, Indus
Valley, Chavin, and Phoenician) in terms of three of the
following: economy, political system, art and architecture,
religion, technology, legacy.
Checklist:
_____ Did you provide a provocative and precise thesis that
states your main argument?
_____ Did you write an statement in which you present the
three topics for the body paragraphs?
_____ Did you place the organizational statement above the
thesis in the introductory paragraph?
_____ Did you define any key terms or establish the time frame
for the essay in the introductory paragraph?
_____ Did you write a lead that introduces the reader to the
topic?
_____ Did you write a topic sentence at the beginning of each
body paragraph?
_____ Did you provide at least two examples that support your
thesis in each body paragraph?
_____ Did you provide commentary that explains the “so what”

14. of your examples?
_____ Did you write a summarizing sentence to close each body
paragraph?
_____ Did you restate the thesis in the conclusion?
_____ Did you remind the reader of the main topics addressed
in the body when you wrote the conclusion?
_____ Did you leave all new information out of the concluding
paragraph?
Evaluating a Sample Comparative Essay
Finally, complete the same evaluation on the sample essay
below. Then compare it to your essay and make any needed
changes.
Essay Prompt: Compare and contrast key characteristics of two
early civilizations (choose from Mesopotamian, Shang, Indus
Valley, Chavin, and Phoenician) in terms of three of the
following: economy, political system, art and architecture,
religion, technology, legacy.Sample Essay
Early river civilizations developed in modern-day Egypt, China,
and the Middle East and represent the world’s first civilizations.
Mesopotamian civilization emerged in present-day Iraq in the
fourth millennium B.C.E., and the Shang civilization developed
in present-day northeastern China around 1700 B.C.E. Both
civilizations declined by 1000 B.C.E. These early river
civilizations shared many similarities in their political,
economic, and social systems but also exhibited certain
differences. Despite developing thousands of miles apart in
vastly different lands, the Mesopotamian and Shang
civilizations exhibit more similarities than differences because
they faced many of the same challenges common to early river
civilizations.
The political features of the Mesopotamian and Shang
civilizations were largely based on the religious and
organizational characteristics of each society. For example, both
civilizations saw their leaders as intermediaries between the
spiritual and earthly realms. The Shang king was seen as a

15. conduit between the gods and the Shang people. Similarly, the
Mesopotamians viewed their kings (called lugals) as the gods’
representative on earth. The organization of power, however,
differed in these two societies, perhaps partly due to the
different nature of the landscapes. Mesopotamia was vast, flat,
and open, which promoted the spread of people throughout the
region. As such, power was less centralized and instead
concentrated in numerous small city-states that enjoyed
considerable autonomy. On the other hand, Shang rulers chose
to centralize their power in a few large, fortified cities. The
aristocracy helped to enforce the king’s power throughout the
region, but all cities remained in the king’s complete control.
Political features of these two early societies reflected the needs
and beliefs of each civilization and its leadership.
Much less is known about the economic system of the Shang
civilization than the Mesopotamians, but it is clear that the two
societies shared many features common to early river
civilizations. Both societies developed long-distance trade,
although geographic barriers proved somewhat limiting in
establishing trade routes by the Shang dynasty. Both
civilizations also developed technology and expertise in sailing.
Shang sailors traded with Koreans, while Mesopotamians sailed
through the Persian Gulf and Arabian Sea to trade with people
in northern India. Both societies also relied to some extent on
slaves, many of whom were prisoners of war. One difference in
these two economic systems may have been the role that women
played. In both societies, women’s primary roles were in the
household, but Mesopotamian society also offered opportunities
for women to work outside the home as midwives, shopkeepers,
bakers, and tavern keepers. Shang women primarily stayed
within the home where they did the usual domestic and child-
rearing tasks, along with winemaking, weaving, and cultivating
silkworms. The economic features of both societies reflect many
of the social and technological similarities the two civilizations
shared.
The technological achievements of these early river

16. civilizations reflect their needs in the areas of agriculture,
religion, and manufacturing. Both civilizations depended on
productive agricultural practices to feed their growing
populations. The Mesopotamians used ox-drawn plows and
developed extensive irrigation systems to water their fields. The
Shang were also skilled agriculturalists who developed highly
regulated irrigation systems to cultivate soybeans and millet.
Religion was a central aspect of people’s lives in both societies,
but in. Mesopotamia, religion was very public and political
leaders served as messengers between the gods and the people.
Mesopotamians constructed large temples, called ziggurats, to
their gods. Manufacturing was important to both societies for a
number of reasons, particularly for making weapons and tools.
Both the Mesopotamians and the Shang civilization were skilled
in bronze metallurgy. The technological innovations of these
societies clearly reflect the common needs and concerns of
people in early river civilizations.
The early river civilizations of Mesopotamia and the Shang
Dynasty share similarities and exhibit differences in their
political, economic, and cultural characteristics. However, these
two societies shared more similarities than differences because
they shared common challenges and opportunities that faced
many early civilizations, regardless of location, such as
fostering trade, developing agriculture, maintaining order, and
defending territory. Although the two civilizations organized
their power differently, they both relied on leaders who served
as intermediaries between their gods and their people. Both
societies also built their economic systems by developing long-
distance trade routes, including travel by sea. Besides ship
building technology, both the Mesopotamians and Shang people
developed agricultural innovations to feed their growing
populations and worked extensively in bronze metallurgy to
produce much-needed tools and weapons. The numerous
similarities displayed by these two groups of people, hundreds
of thousands of miles apart, demonstrate the common challenges
faced during this period of history when civilizations emerged

17. and people began leaving written records and artifacts that make
up the beginning of the historical period.
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History | Writing a Long-Answer Essay, Part 1
Writing a Long-Answer Essay, Part 1
The Long-Answer Essay is one type of free response essay you
will encounter on the College Board Exam (AP Test) for World
History. It is important that you understand how it differs from
the document-based essay and what will be expected of you.
Free-Response Essays on the AP World History Exam
The free response (essay) portion of the College Board Exam
(AP Test) for World History consists of two essay questions:
document-based question (DBQ)
long-answer essay question
The free-response essay portion of the College Board Exam will
count for 40 percent of the overall test score. The DBQ essay
score accounts for 25 percent of the total exam score, and the
long-answer essay score accounts for 15 percent of the total
exam score.
You will have 90 total minutes to complete this section of the
exam, 55 minutes for the DBQ essay and 35 minutes to
complete one long-answer essay, which you choose from a pair
of questions.
Free response essays that include a simple defensible thesis,
organized body paragraphs that discuss relevant information and
facts, and a strong, organized conclusion usually receive a high
score. Free response essays generally require you to analyze,
assess, and/or evaluate causes and effects of a particular
historical subject. You should expect that the essay questions
will be straightforward and address familiar historical topics.
The long-answer essay portion of the AP World History Exam is
at the end of the test, after the multiple-choice questions, the

18. short-answer essays, and the DBQ essay. You will be given 35
minutes to write the long-answer essay response. AP test
graders are not looking for a single “correct” answer to the
essay question. Rather, you should answer the questions as
completely and logically as possible with facts and information
from memory, based on what you learned throughout the online
course.
The long-answer essay differs from the DBQ essay in several
ways. A DBQ essay is written using primary and secondary
historical documents that are provided as part of the test. There
are no documents to read for the long-answer essay. Instead,
you will be given a choice between two comparable long-essay
options. Both will target the same skill, which varies from year
to year, and will address different chronological periods and
topics.
Long-answer essay questions are designed to assess one of four
targeted skills: continuity and change over time, comparison,
causation, and periodization. The long essay questions will
measure your use of historical-thinking skills to explain and
analyze significant issues in world history as defined by the
thematic learning objectives.
As with the DBQ essay you will be required to develop a thesis
or argument and support it with analysis and synthesis of
specific relevant historical evidence.Answering Essay Questions
When completing a free response essay, it is important that you
completely answer the question as it is asked. One strategy is to
underline the key terms, dates, and verbs in the question.
Here’s an example of underlining a question:
“Analyze the subject matter and style of modern art and how it
reflected the political and intellectual concerns of the post-
WWII period.”
Then you can refer back to the underlined portions of the
question as you write your response to ensure you have
addressed the entire question. You also need to be sure you
understand what the question asks you to do. For instance, does
the question ask for a chronological description, a geographical

19. breakdown, or a topical analysis (economics, politics, cultures,
etc.)?
The Test Development Committee uses standard essay-writing
“prompt-tasks.” Free response prompts might ask you to
analyze, assess or evaluate, describe or discuss, explain,
identify, or tell to what extent. The following table gives a
definition of each kind of prompt-task and an example of how it
might be used in an essay question.
Action Word
Definition
Example
Analyze
Establish how something is put together, how and why its
elements relate to one another.
“Analyze the subject matter and style of modern art and how it
reflected the political and intellectual concerns of the post-
WWII period.”
Assess or evaluate
Make a conclusion (not an opinion) about; weigh the pros and
cons of; judge the value, success, or importance of.
“Assess the degree to which Napoleon I promoted the principles
of the French Revolution.”
Describe or discuss
Provide an account of; consider the varying arguments and
positions regarding.
“Discuss the impact of the unification of Italy and Germany on
the European balance of power in the period 1871 to 1914.”
Explain
Demonstrate the connection between related things; clarify the
cause, effects, or reasons for.
“Explain how absolutism was evident in the political, economic,
and religious policies of France under Louis XIV, 1650–1715.”
Identify
Give the features of; point out events, causes, effect.
“Identify the issues raised by industrialization in Great Britain
and the responses to those issues in the second half of the

20. nineteenth century.”
To what extent
Make a judgment regarding the scope or degree of.
“To what extent did the Enlightenment employ the methods of
the Scientific Revolution in addressing issues of social and
political in the eighteenth century?”Writing the Long-Answer
Essay
Now you can practice writing a long-answer essay. Elements of
an effective essay:
An introductory paragraph that clearly introduces the essay’s
subject and has a thesis statement
Three body paragraphs with evidence that supports the essay
thesis
A concluding paragraph that restates the thesis, sums up the
main points, and gives some additional insight into the question
being considered
This document will help you practice all components except the
conclusion. For this practice, you will use the following essay
question prompt, which targets your comparison skills:
Compare and contrast key characteristics of two early
civilizations (choose from Mesopotamian, Shang, Indus Valley,
Chavin, and Phoenician) in terms of three of the following:
economy, political system, art and architecture, religion,
technology, legacy.
A completed essay based on this question will be submitted by
you as a graded assignment after completing the Long-Answer
Essay 2 lesson.Writing a Thesis Statement
Your thesis statement will clearly present the argument or
stance you are taking in response to the prompt. It provides a
concise overview of what is presented in the rest of the essay
and directly answers the question or addresses the prompt. Your
thesis statement should not simply restate the prompt. It is a
statement that presents your particular stance on the topic and
how you will address your argument. The rest of the
information in your essay will support your thesis statement.
Before you write your thesis statement, you must think about

21. the prompt. An outline or diagram can help you organize your
thoughts and the examples you want to use in presenting your
argument in the body of the essay. Look at the information
you’ve outlined: What conclusion or argument can you make?
Limit yourself to one sentence when answering this question.
For this prompt—Compare and contrast key characteristics of
two early civilizations (choose from Mesopotamian, Shang,
Indus Valley, Chavin, and Phoenician) in terms of three of the
following: economy, political system, art and architecture,
religion, technology, legacy—the author might provide the
following thesis statement:
Early river civilizations developed in modern-day Egypt, China,
and the Middle East and represent the world’s first civilizations.
Mesopotamian civilization emerged in present-day Iraq in the
fourth millennium B.C.E., and the Shang civilization developed
in present-day northeastern China around 1700 B.C.E. Both
civilizations declined by 1000 B.C.E. These early river
civilizations shared many similarities in their political,
economic, and social systems but also exhibited certain
differences.Student Practice
Write a sample thesis in response to this prompt: Compare and
contrast key characteristics of two early civilizations (choose
from Mesopotamian, Shang, Indus Valley, Chavin, and
Phoenician) in terms of three of the following: economy,
political system, art and architecture, religion, technology,
legacy.
Make sure your thesis statement addresses the prompt, takes a
position, is specific and defensible, and can explain the how and
why of the prompt.
Writing an Introductory Paragraph
Once you have your thesis statement clearly defined, along with
supporting examples identified, you’re ready to draft your
introductory paragraph.
A well-written essay should begin with a strong introductory
paragraph. A good introduction has at least three, but generally
more, logically ordered sentences. The introductory paragraph

22. should clearly introduce the essay’s subject. In the case of a
free response essay for the College Board Exam, you should
clearly and completely address the essay question in the
opening paragraph in very general terms.
The first sentence (or more) of a paragraph is called the topic
sentence. The topic sentence of an introductory paragraph
should not simply restate the essay question. Instead, the first
sentence or two of the introduction should introduce the topic
by providing some appropriate historical context. For example,
you may want to discuss the century or dates that apply to the
essay topic. The first sentences of an essay should hook or grab
the reader’s interest, making him or her want to read the rest of
the essay. You may want to begin with an interesting quote or
by defining a term found in the essay question. For example, if
the essay question is about the Renaissance, you might define
the Renaissance as a rebirth of the ideas promoted in classical
Greece and Rome. When you solidly establish the time period
from the beginning, this shows the reader that you have a firm
understanding of the essay topic. When composing a topic
sentence, you should avoid philosophizing, moralizing, or
wandering too far beyond the scope of the time period involved
in the essay question.
After establishing the subject of the essay in the first one or two
sentences, the next sentence should contain an organizational
statement that introduces three topics that will be covered in the
body paragraphs of the essay. This sentence can be strengthened
by hinting at the supporting evidence or arguments you plan to
make about the three topics. For this lesson, group the examples
you developed during your brainstorming/ pre-writing exercise
into three distinct groups. These will be the three focal points
for your body paragraphs, discussed below. A solid
organizational statement contains as much information or
explanation as possible. Sometimes the organizational statement
and the thesis statement will be combined in the same sentence.
The thesis statement, discussed above, is the most important
sentence of the introductory paragraph and should appear at the

23. end of your introductory paragraph. The thesis statement can be
compared to a road map for the reader, because it explains to
the reader exactly where the essay is going. A good thesis
statement for a five-paragraph essay is focused, brief, and
specific. In one sentence, you explain the position you will take
throughout the essay. It is also important, especially for the
essay portion of the College Board Exam, that the thesis
statement thoroughly addresses the entire essay question. You
will need a firm understanding of the essay topic in order to
write a good thesis statement. Whenever possible, demonstrate
your awareness of bigger picture historical issues by grounding
your thesis statement within the appropriate historical
context.Student Practice
Write an introductory paragraph that addresses the following
essay prompt: Compare and contrast key characteristics of two
early civilizations (choose from Mesopotamian, Shang, Indus
Valley, Chavin, and Phoenician) in terms of three of the
following: economy, political system, art and architecture,
religion, technology, legacy. Make sure that the introductory
paragraph includes all three elements of an introduction.
Writing Body Paragraphs
After supplying focus and direction to an essay in the
introductory paragraph, you then provide thesis-supporting
details, examples, assertions, and evidence in the body
paragraphs. This section will make up the bulk of a five-
paragraph essay. While writing the body of an essay, you should
constantly refer back to the thesis, making sure that all
sentences relate to the thesis in some way. You should avoid
storytelling or “data dumping” because both will draw attention
away from the main point of the essay, or thesis. All essay
questions on the AP World History Exam are designed to assess
your understanding of historical themes and concepts. Graders
are not simply testing your ability to recall multiple facts.
An effective body paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence
that does more than simply restate the thesis or part of the
organizational statement. For example, if you were asked an

24. essay question about the Industrial Revolution in England, the
topic sentence of the first body paragraph might focus on the
economic factors that made Great Britain ideal for industrial
innovation. In this case, the topic sentence would describe how
and why the chosen economic factors helped Britain to
industrialize. The topic sentence should capture the main role
that economic factors played in industrialization. You should
avoid simplistic statements such as, “Economic factors also
helped Great Britain to industrialize.” Instead, a good topic
sentence for this body paragraph might be, “Great Britain’s
supportive economic institutions provided the capital it needed
to industrialize.” This topic sentence provides focus for the rest
of the body paragraph. Any examples or analysis that you may
wish to include now has direction, and you should be able to
avoid simply listing or describing various economic factors.
You must provide direct similarities and differences in your
body paragraphs.
When composing a body paragraph, you should continually
establish connections between the examples or evidence and the
topic sentence. When giving examples or evidence, you should
provide commentary that explains why it is important, what it
means, and how it relates to the thesis. It is important to select
the strongest, most influential, and most representative evidence
or examples for each factor or assertion. You should avoid
simply listing all the proof, cases, or factors that you can think
of. Including an unorganized or unexplained group of facts or
examples will weaken your essay. Instead, you should
incorporate only well-chosen examples that are clearly and
explicitly connected to the topic sentence.
Returning to the previous example about industrialization in
Britain, the central idea of the body paragraph is that “economic
institutions provided capital for industry.” This central idea in
the topic sentence would then be supported by evidence, for
example: “England’s strong navy allowed it to establish new
colonies and defeat rival powers. The trade that resulted from
England’s colonial empire brought new profits that allowed

25. entrepreneurs to finance industry back in the home country.”
This supporting sentence provides three examples that are
strongly related to the topic sentence: a strong navy,
commercial empire, and financial institutions. Each body
paragraph should contain two or three supporting examples for
the paragraph’s argument. Again, remember that more is not
always better. Examples that are explained well will reveal your
command of the topic and your capacity for thesis development
in an essay.
Finally, a good body paragraph ends with a summarizing
sentence. This concluding sentence can serve as a transition to
the next paragraph. An example of a summarizing sentence
might be, “While these institutions were important, they would
not even have existed without Britain’s favored geographic
location.” This example sentence relates back to the topic
sentence and at the same time, tells the reader that the next
factor will be geographic location. As demonstrated with this
example, transitional sentences lead the reader through an
argument systematically by connecting the component parts and
driving toward the argument’s conclusion. Vary the words that
are used for transitions that connect one idea to the next. A
student should alternate the use of words and phrases such as
although, as a result of, moreover, in addition to, alternatively,
further, as well, either, not to mention, for example, for
instance, especially, notably, as an illustration, regarding,
concerning, namely, however, in contrast, nevertheless,
notwithstanding, given that, consequently, thus, and so on.
Student writers can use this simple paragraph structure to write
stellar body paragraphs:
topic sentence
fact/example related to the topic sentence
commentary on the example
another fact/example
commentary
summarizing sentence
The previous paragraphs have discussed the elements that make

26. up well-written body paragraphs. Below is an example of a body
paragraph in a five-paragraph essay written by a student writer
in response to the following prompt:
Compare and contrast how the First World War and its outcome
affected two of the following regions: South Asia (Indian
subcontinent), Middle East, East Asia in the period from the
war through the 1930s.
The first sentence presents the topic sentence about the Indian
subcontinent pursuing independence. The writer then presents a
specific example about India’s efforts to gain independence
from Britain by committing troops to the war. The example is
backed up with specific facts and brief commentary. The second
example focuses on efforts to unite the Indian National
Congress and Muslim League to gain support for peaceful
resistance. Like the first example, the writer supports this
example with specific facts and discussion.
Similar to the Middle East, the Indian subcontinent pursued
independence from the British. India committed soldiers in
World War I to support the British cause. In total, 800,000
Indian troops fought in all the theaters of the war. Indian
leaders in the Indian National Congress believed that pledging
support for the British would sustain their hopes for greater
autonomy after the war, as Australia, Canada, and New Zealand
had acquired. After 1945, the Indians were dissatisfied with
their subjugation to British authority as were the Arabs after the
British signed the Balfour Declaration that favored a Jewish
homeland in Palestine. The Indian National Congress and
Muslim League tried to set aside their differences in an effort to
gain independence. The Congress adopted the policies of
nonviolence led by Mohandas Gandhi; and several campaigns of
civil resistance ensued. In an act of peaceful protest against
high salt taxes, Indians marched to the sea to access their own
salt. After demonstrations and clashes, the British eventually
made some concessions in the Government of India Act, which
allowed 5 million Indians to vote and created a new parliament
populated, in part, by Indians.Student Practice

27. Write three body paragraphs that address the following essay
prompt:
Compare and contrast key characteristics of two early
civilizations (choose from Mesopotamian, Shang, Indus Valley,
Chavin, and Phoenician) in terms of three of the following:
economy, political system, art and architecture, religion,
technology, legacy.
Make sure that the body paragraphs include all the elements
described in the body paragraph section of the narrative. Clearly
identify the start of each paragraph by indenting the first line of
each paragraph or skipping lines between each paragraph.
Summary
The ability to construct a well-written, organized, and logically
argued essay is an important skill. You have practiced writing
portions of a basic five-paragraph historical essay. When taking
the College Board Exam (AP Test) for World History, you will
be required to answer one long-answer essay. When completing
a free response essay, it is important that you completely
answer the question as it is asked.
In the long-answer essay, you may see any of the following
standard essay-writing “prompt-tasks”: analyze, assess or
evaluate, describe or discuss, explain, identify, or tell to what
extent. A solidly constructed and ordered essay includes an
introductory paragraph that clearly introduces the essay’s
subject and has a thesis statement, three body paragraphs with
evidence that supports the essay thesis, and a concluding
paragraph, which reiterates the thesis, sums up the main points,
and gives some additional insight into the question being
considered.
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