Starter Elizabeth had a bit of a problem with her looks…imagine you are Trinny and Susannah What would you advise her to do with the following:- Make up :– Hair:- Clothes:- Accessories (i.e. jewellery):- Portraits:- Diet:- Teeth:-
Hello, number one. What’s your name, and where do you come from? Hello Cilla, my name’s Robert Devereux , Earl of Essex. I come from England.
Hello, number two. What’s your name, and where do you come from? Hiya Cilla! My names Robert Dudley. I’m the Earl of Leicester and obviously from England m’lady.
Hello, number three. What’s your name, and where do you come from? Hola Cilla. I am Phillip II of Spain. As you can see from my lovely sun tan I currently live in the beautiful country of Spain.
Hello, number four. What’s your name, and where do you come from? Bonjour Cilla! I am Francis, Duke of Alencon. J’Habite en France. Ca va?
Question 1:- “My father went through a lot of pain, and lost many friends (and wives!) to turn England into this great Protestant country. What is your preferred religion?” Question 2:- “As Queen I enjoy the finer things in life. Good food, fine wines, expensive clothes and I just love buying make up. My second question is, are you rich?” Question 3:- “We all have skeletons in the closet! Heaven knows I have my cousin Mary locked up as we speak!!! My third question is as follows…… Is there anything you think I should know before my Parliament decides who I should marry?”
Answer to question 1:- “Protestant, no question your majesty. Answer to question 2:- “I am the only person in England allowed to import sweet wine. I’ve made lots of cash from this, and like your good self I love the finer things in life. Although I do have a temporary cash flow problem at the moment, this will soon be rectified with a good harvest and importing more fine wine.” Answer to question 3:- “I’ve fought a lot of wars for you your Majesty. I have served you well on the Privy council. Please choose me – I’m a good Essex boy!!!”
Answer to question 1:- “Protestant of course. I am a real Englishman, loyal to you m’lady!” Answer to question 2:- “Ah yes. Rich, rich, rich!!! I’ve made most of my money from the trading companies. I’d love to spend my fortune on you my dearest Queen.” Answer to question 3:-” We have known each other since we were children. You know I love you! It was terrible when my wife Amy fell down those stairs to her death. But you must know those rumours that I murdered her just aren’t true!”
Answer to question 1:- “Your father, Henry VIII, was a great man. However he was slightly misguided – Catholicism is the true religion.” Answer to question 2:- “I have gold from South America. I also own a lot of other countries. This means I have an awful lot of access to many items you can only dream of seeing. I will share all I have with you. Spain and England can unite together and rule the world!!!” Answer to question 3:- I spoke to the Pope the other day, and he said I should have nothing to do with Protestant countries. But we know each other well, I was married to your fine sister, Mary. She knew England should be Catholic.
Answer to Question 1:- I say stick to Catholic roots! Answer to Question 2:- “My brother is King of France and I have lots of money and some estates in France. However my older brother inherited most of my father’s land!” Answer to Question 3:- “Although I’m Catholic, please remember we French do not hate the English as much as the Spanish! I understand that some people in England have published a pamphlet warning me not to marry you! Don’t listen to them!!!”
Area Robert Devereux , Earl of Essex (a) Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester (b) Phillip II of Spain (c ) Francis, Duke of Alencon (France) (d) Money Religion Other information
Now, it’s your turn for a bit of Speed Dating!