A free e-Book (pdf format) by Oh Teik Theam for 'Edutainment'.

1. A Treasury of
55-Word Stories
OH TEIK THEAM

2. FLASH FICTION
A Treasury of
55-Word Stories
FREE
EBOOK
OH TEIK THEAM

3. FLASH FICTION
A Treasury of
55-Word Stories
Copyright © 2023 Oh Teik Theam
Published by Oh Teik Theam
This book is published solely for free
distribution/circulation. It should not be
used in any way for commercial gain.

4. Author’s Note
This book contains:
38 stories from my print book Fifty5Words (A Treasury of 55-Word Stories) (2019)
42 stories from my ebook Got a Minute? (A Collection of 55-Word Stories) (2021)
88 new stories*

5. CONTENTS
Heart-Warming Stories
1. Followed*
2. Cavities*
3. Empty Room*
4. The Mug*
5. Lunch Pack*
6. The Award*
7. The Matchmaker*
8. Three Cats*
9. Paper Round*
10. Burnt Sausages*
11. Coin Toss*
12. Graduation*
13. A Packet of Biscuits*
14. The Sky Is Never Blue*
15. First Date*
16. Two Voices*
17. Fetch*
18. Captive*
19. Table for Two*
20. Fishing*
21. Music Box*
22. Ten Billion Dollars*
23. The Lesson*
24. The Boulder and the Sculpture*
25. The Answer*
26. A Bottle of Water*
27. The Dress*
28. The Word Audition*
29. Web*
30. The Crumpled Banknote*
31. Bus Tickets*
32. Five Dollars*
33. Onions*
34. Digging a Well*
35. Heart
36. Friends
37. The Good Samaritan
38. The Hitchhiker
39. Blind Date I

6. 40. The Jobless Graduate
41. You Break, You Pay
42. Violet, Daisy and Rose
43. Daredevil
44. Two Suitors
45. One Kilo of Rice
46. The Mistake
47. Birthday
48. Two Lollipops
49. Two Bars of Chocolate
50. The Old Lion
51. Love
52. The Wise Man
53. Transplant
54. Wedding Invitations
55. A Helping Hand
56. Seeds
57. Blindfold
58. Dinner Is Not Ready
59. Sacrifice
60. Two Notes
61. The Weight
62. The Queue
63. Bombshell
64. An Act of Charity
65. Birthday Card
66. The Tattoo
67. Surgery
68. Birthday Present
69. The Juggler
70. Heartbroken
71. The Debt
72. A New Friend
73. The Beggar
74. Funfair
Humorous Stories
75. Dog and Cat*
76. Breakdown*
77. Misfortune*
78. The Errand*
79. Three Questions*
80. Face Mask*
81. Dunce*
82. Tail*

7. 83. The Librarian*
84. The Widow*
85. The Project*
86. Hair*
87. Hide-and-Seek*
88. Honey*
89. Ten Dollars*
90. Time Travel*
91. The Hungry Lion*
92. The Stranger*
93. Crowded Restaurant*
94. Happy*
95. Last Wish*
96. Two Gunslingers*
97. The Dance*
98. Guilty*
99. A Sack of Corn
100. The Misers
101. The Spinster
102. Imaginary Friends
103. The Phone Call
104. Nail-Biting Suspense
105. Blind Date II
106. Special Delivery
107. The Palm Reader
108. Grade Change
109. The Kiss
110. The Word
111. The Password
112. Stage Fright
113. Happily Ever After
114. The Angler and His Dog
115. The Wording
116. Frog
Horror Stories
117. The Sandwich*
118. Ice*
119. Lost in the Woods*
120. Encounter*
121. Crying*
122. Thieves*
123. Knock*
124. The Wake*
125. House for Rent*

8. 126. The Mannequin*
127. Death*
128. Bedroom*
129. Explanation*
130. Fight*
131. Intrusion*
132. The Traveller*
133. The Way to a Man’s Heart*
134. The Search*
135. The Angry Wife*
136. Revenge*
137. Two Readers*
138. Mystery Photo*
139. Phobias*
140. Monster*
141. The Man and Death*
142. Two Politicians*
143. Kidnap*
144. Dummy Run*
145. Pizza*
146. Word Vomit*
147. Shock
148. Closet
149. Bedtime Story
150. Lucky Day
151. The Killer
152. Lucky Escape
153. Close Call
154. The Film Director
155. The Party
156. Luck
157. Neighbours
158. The Visitor
159. The Hunters
160. The Text Message
161. Drought
162. Voyage
163. Two Sons
164. Divorce
165. The Alien
166. “You Mustn’t Leave Here”
167. Selfie
168. The End

9. HEART-WARMING STORIES
1. Followed*
She left the supermarket and took the short cut across the fields—a two-minute walk to
her house.
Suddenly, she heard a voice behind her shout, “Hey, ma’am!”
She quickened her pace.
The male owner of the voice caught up to her.
She said, “Don’t follow me.”
“Ma’am, you dropped this packet of convenience food.”
2. Cavities*
She said, “You speak very highly of your late wife. Do you love me just as much?”
He said, “A person’s physical heart has four cavities. Their spiritual heart has two
cavities—one for their loved ones who have departed this life, and the other for their
loved ones who are alive.”
She hugged him. ♥
3. Empty Room*
The young woman said to her three suitors, “I want this empty room to be completely
filled.”
The first suitor filled the room with mattresses.
The second suitor used books to do the job.
The third suitor filled the room with music from a music box.
The heavenly music filled the woman’s heart with joy. ♪
4. The Mug*
“Why are you holding a screwdriver?” the widower asked his daughter.
“I just used it to scratch something on your pewter mug,” the little girl said.
“That was a naughty thing you did. Go to your room—I’ll talk to you afterwards.”
Later, he found out what the six-year-old had written: The World’s Best Dad.
5. Lunch Pack*

10. A poor undergraduate would always buy a two-dollar lunch pack from the same rice
seller.
On graduation day, he bought a five-dollar lunch pack to celebrate his success. Sheesh,
it’s the same food, he thought.
And then he realized that the kind-hearted rice seller had given him a massive discount
for the past three years.
6. The Award*
“This year’s Bravery Award,” said the chairman of the annual bees’ convention, “goes to
Bobby Bee, whose motto in life is ‘Always bee helpful’.
“He saw two boys fighting and flew around their heads. When he stopped annoying
them, they were no longer angry with each other, so that they did not resume their fight.”
7. The Matchmaker*
“I’m going steady with a wonderful girl.”
“How did you meet her?”
“I had help from a matchmaker.”
“Could you introduce this matchmaker to me?”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Why can’t you?”
“This matchmaker was Mother Nature.”
“Huh?”
“A gust of wind blew her hat off her head, and I retrieved it for her.”
8. Three Cats*
Bobby Cat and Tommy Cat wanted to date Crystal Cat.
Bobby Cat said, “When I’m around, you are in the presence of purr-fection.”
Tommy Cat said, “I’ll protect you, Crystal Cat, with my life. For you, I am prepared to
die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.”
Crystal Cat hugged Tommy Cat affectionately.
9. Paper Round*
“It’s almost noon,” the single mother said to her son, who’d just returned home from his
paper round. “Eat your lunch now or you’ll be late for school. Did your bicycle have a
puncture?”

11. “No, Mum. The kind widower who lives alone at Number 38 had cataract surgery
yesterday. I read the newspaper to him.”
10. Burnt Sausages*
She apologized for the burnt sausages.
He said, “I like them.”
Their teenage daughter said nothing.
Later, the girl asked her father, “Dad, did you really like the burnt sausages?”
He said, “Your mum has had a tiring day doing the household chores. We should be
grateful for every dinner that she prepares for us.”
11. Coin Toss*
The young couple was always arguing with each other.
“Why don’t we toss a coin?” he said after an argument.
“What for?” she said, and knitted her brows.
“Heads, we stay together; tails, we go our separate ways.”
“Go ahead.”
He tossed a coin.
Tails.
They stayed together for another forty-five years until his death.
12. Graduation*
The graduation ceremony started.
One by one, the graduands walked up to the stage.
And then it was his turn.
He blinked away tears as he received the scroll from the Vice-Chancellor.
Later, he whispered to himself, “You did it, Son. I’m very proud of you. I’ll show it to
you at your grave tomorrow.”
13. A Packet of Biscuits*
A homeless man who steals a small packet of biscuits from a store is stopped by the
hawk-eyed store detective.
Before the store detective can say anything, a clerk walks up to the two men.
With a radiant smile, she gives the homeless man a crisp five-dollar note and says,
“Sir, you forgot your change.”

12. 14. The Sky Is Never Blue*
The Ass said, “The sky is never blue.”
The Leopard said, “It’s usually blue.”
They argued about it heatedly, and eventually asked an Elephant to settle the matter.
The Elephant said, “You may leave, Ass. I will punish Leopard.”
The Leopard said, “Why should I be punished?”
The Elephant said, “You argued with a fool.”
15. First Date*
Their first date had ended, and he asked her, “Did you have a good time?”
“Yes, I certainly did,” she said with the widest smile that her sweet nature was capable
of. “It was such a wonderful experience. I never thought that we would be helping out in
a soup kitchen on our first date!”
16. Two Voices*
He asked her, “Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?”
She said, “There are two urgent voices in my head.”
“What do they say?”
“The first one says, ‘You need to accept his invitation.’”
She paused.
“What does the second one say?”
“The second one says, ‘You heard her. Have dinner with him.’”
17. Fetch*
Every morning, he’d throw a dog toy for his dog to fetch.
One day, after a fight, his wife went off to her mother’s house.
No more play fetch.
The dog knew the way to his mother-in-law’s residence.
Without his knowledge, it quietly left the porch on a mission—the biggest fetch of its
life.
18. Captive*
“Please let me out,” Roberta said to Bob, with tears in her voice. “It is cruel to keep me
trapped here.”
Bob stared at his tear-streaked face in the clear stream. And then he phoned his friend
Peggy.

13. Peggy’s uncle was a pastor and an eminent surgeon who could help him with his sex-
change thoughts.
19. Table for Two*
Her boyfriend had dumped her recently.
On her way home after a bad day at the office, she stopped at a stylish restaurant to
cheer herself up.
“Table for two, ma’am?” the waiter asked her.
“Yes.”
I’ve got to be careful about what I order for a healthy pregnancy, she thought, patting
her belly instinctively.
20. Fishing*
The teacher read the report of one of her pupils:
My dad and I went fishing at a good spot under a bridge. We caught…
She stopped reading and said to the pupil, “Tommy, you were supposed to write a
report on how you spent your Sunday with a friend.”
The boy said, “I did.”
21. Music Box*
She wanted a ring.
He gave her a powder blue box.
She asked, “What is it?”
“It’s a music box,” he said, smiling broadly.
She threw the box on the floor.
The lid came off the hinges, and the box played a wedding melody. ♫
The diamond ring in the box was not damaged at all.
22. Ten Billion Dollars*
The teacher asked her class, “If you had ten billion dollars, what would you do?”
A boisterous student said, “The American writer Matthew Quick wrote, ‘I am now
watching the movie of my life as I live it.’
“I would engage a newscaster with a melodious voice to follow me around and narrate
my life.”
23. The Lesson*

14. The teacher said, “Be careful of the company you keep. Character is a matter of the
utmost importance. One Positive when multiplied by One Negative becomes One
Negative.”
A student said, “One Positive when multiplied by One Positive remains as One
Positive. The person’s character isn’t adversely affected.”
The teacher smiled. “You catch on quick.”
24. The Boulder and the Sculpture*
A Boulder said to a Sculpture, “Many people admire your beauty, but they shun me.”
The Sculpture said, “Blame yourself. You told the sculptor to keep his tools away from
you.
“I was carved out of a boulder that resembled you. I had to endure much pain and
suffering to be what I am now.”
25. The Answer*
Tom and Harry, who work together, are enjoying a cup of coffee.
Tom says, “You amaze me. How do you manage to look happy all the time when you
don’t have a big salary, a big house, and a big circle of friends?”
Harry says with a big smile, “The answer is in your question.”
26. A Bottle of Water*
The employee said to the boss, “I’m leaving the company. Did you know that a small
bottle of mineral water costs one dollar at a convenience store and three dollars at an
elegant restaurant?”
The boss smiled. “You are smart and apply yourself. Would a raise of five hundred
dollars make you change your mind?”
27. The Dress*
The young couple was eating a delicious dinner at home.
They talked about her housework, and then she said, “I saw a red boat neck dress at the
new boutique this morning. It’s so beautiful.”
He said smilingly, “Why don’t you wear it after dinner and let me see how good it
looks on you.”
28. The Word Audition*

15. “I’m not disappointed that I wasn’t selected,” Handsome said to his friends Sympathize
and Reflection, who both succeeded at the word audition for the writer’s new novel. “I’m
grateful that I was successful in four out of ten auditions so far. The real failure is the
failure to keep trying.”
Sympathize and Reflection chorused, “Attaboy!”
29. Web*
“Hiding here?” a spider in a cave asked a fox.
“Yes,” said the fox. “A hunter is hunting me.”
“I can help you.”
“No, you can’t—you’re so tiny.”
“I’ll weave a web across the entrance. The hunter will think you’re not here: The web
is intact.”
The fox said, “I apologize for my arrogance.”
30. The Crumpled Banknote*
A woman who was a victim of scandalmongering felt depressed.
Her father crumpled a ten-dollar note and asked her, “What’s its value now?”
She said, “It’s still the same—ten dollars.”
“Character is more important than reputation. Your character is what you truly are;
your reputation is what others think you are.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
31. Bus Tickets*
“Children travel half price until age five,” the clerk at the ticket counter said to a man
who was buying two tickets for a bus journey. “How old is your son?”
“Six.”
“You could’ve told me he was five and I would’ve taken your word for it.”
The man smiled. “Example is the best teacher.”
32. Five Dollars*
A woman gave the old beggar five dollars and said, “Let me stand you a meal.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
As she walked away, she thought, Five dollars isn’t enough for a decent meal.
She retraced her steps and surrendered another five dollars to him.
“Thanks. You’re the second person to give me five dollars today.”

16. 33. Onions*
The motivational speaker said, “If you put several onions in your pocket for ten days,
with each onion bearing the name of a person you hate, what would happen?”
A listener said, “The bad odour would be revulsive.”
“Exactly,” said the speaker. “Keeping hatred in one’s heart will have a devastating
effect on one’s well-being.”
34. Digging a Well*
The farmer said to his farmhand, “I told you to dig a well. Why are there so many
shallow holes all over the place?”
The farmhand said, “I couldn’t find any water.”
The farmer sighed. “You can’t sink a well in this way. You need stick-to-itiveness to
succeed. Concentrate on one hole and dig deeper.”
35. Heart
The party for young patients at the hospital was in full swing.
“What’d you like?” the moustached balloon artist asked a girl.
“A bunny!”
She got her bunny.
“What about you?” he asked a boy.
“A heart.”
The boy got his heart-shaped balloon. Nice, he thought, but a real heart would be so
much better.
36. Friends
Two bald sexagenarians met in the street and hugged each other tightly.
“Long time no see! So nice to see you again!”
“Likewise.”
A minute later, they realized that they didn’t know each other.
“I’m sorry. I mistook you for my ex-classmate Joe.”
“I’m sorry. I mistook you for my ex-colleague Sam.”
They became friends.
37. The Good Samaritan

17. “What’s wrong?” the stranger asked a motorcyclist who appeared to be in trouble.
“My bike can’t get across the river. The bridge has been damaged by the flood. I’ve
got to deliver an important package to the hospital.”
“I can help you.”
“Really? How?”
“I’ll think it over,” said the stranger, who had teleportation powers.
38. The Hitchhiker
A hitchhiker stood on the shoulder of the road for an hour, but no car stopped for him.
Perhaps they don’t like my long hair, he thought.
He had an idea, and wrote some words on a sheet of cardboard: Going to Hair
Donation Centre.
The first motorist who saw the sign stopped for him.
39. Blind Date I
Her blind date was a driving instructor.
“You could sit on the bench under the oak tree and wrap a red scarf around your neck,”
he’d suggested.
He was punctual for the date.
“Hi, I’m Ben. You must be Jeannie. You should be sitting on the passenger side, don’t
you think?”
She liked him immediately.
40. The Jobless Graduate
A professor of English was walking in the park when a jobless graduate stopped him and
said, “Mister, can you spare ten dollars?”
The professor said, “I’m sorry, no. ‘A beggar’s hand is a bottomless basket.’ – Dutch
Proverb.”
The jobless graduate scowled heavily and said, “‘No one has ever become poor by
giving.’ – Anne Frank.”
41. You Break, You Pay
“You’ve broken my heart,” she said, placing her hand on her chest.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“You forgot my birthday.”
“I’m sorry. It slipped my mind.”

18. “You break, you pay,” she said, alluding to a sign in the ceramic vase shop where she
worked.
“Let’s have dinner at the new restaurant.”
She smiled.
42. Violet, Daisy and Rose
A little girl caught her mother by surprise by asking her, “Mum, who is your most
valuable child—Violet, Daisy or me?”
The mother smiled, hugged her daughter, and said, “My dear Rose, I’m going to
answer your question by asking another question.”
“What question?”
“Which is the most important leg of a three-legged stool?”
43. Daredevil
A daredevil motorcyclist stopped his bike to help a motorist change her flat tyre.
Later, while doing a crazy stunt, he fell off his bike and suffered a bad injury.
Reading a newspaper story about the stunt, the motorist’s husband thought, He should
be ashamed that he is living a life that is utterly useless.
44. Two Suitors
The beautiful princess had two suitors.
The first suitor gave her an exquisite bracelet and said, “If you wear it every day, I’d
know you are mine.”
The second suitor gave her a music box and said, “If you listen to it ♪ every day, you’d
know I am yours.”
The princess’s parents heard wedding bells.
45. One Kilo of Rice
The poor were hard hit by Covid-19, but only some of them turned up to receive a gift of
one kilo of rice from the wealthy merchant. Most of the people said, “Only one kilo?
What a waste of time!”
The grateful donees smiled: Each packet of rice also contained one thousand dollars in
cash.
46. The Mistake

19. The teacher wrote ten sentences on the blackboard, including an incorrect one: November
has thirty-one days.
The students laughed loudly.
The teacher said, “I intentionally made that sentence wrong. I just want to underscore
the fact that people will generally criticize an occasional mistake you make and overlook
the many things you do extremely well.”
47. Birthday
“Grandpa, how are you?” she said.
“I’m fine,” he said. “You don’t visit me half as often as I’d like. It’s my birthday
tomorrow. Could you be here tomorrow evening at half past seven?”
“OK.”
She broke her promise; she attended a concert instead.
Three days later, she belatedly sang ‘Happy Birthday’ at his grave.
48. Two Lollipops
Little Johnny said to his mother, “My prayer has been answered. I found a dollar note.
I’m going to buy two lollipops and lick them all afternoon!”
“You’re not going to give one to your sister?”
“Why should I? It was my prayer that was answered.”
“But Helen prayed that your prayer would be answered.”
49. Two Bars of Chocolate
“Which one of these chocolate bars would you like?” the mother asked her son. “I’ll give
the other one to your sister.”
The boy smiled radiantly, hefted the bars playfully, and bit into them in turn.
The mother frowned disapprovingly. Before she could verbalize her displeasure, he
said, “Give this one to Ruby—it’s tastier.”
50. The Old Lion
A wicked old lion who’d turned over a new leaf visited the holy lion on the hilltop for a
second time.
The old lion said, “You told me not to bite humans. They noticed my meekness and
threw stones at me. It’s your fault.”
The holy lion said, “I didn’t tell you not to roar.”

20. 51. Love
The young wife said to her husband, “Darling, I can’t help feeling that you don’t love me
any more. We used to eat our meals at a restaurant, but now you want me to prepare
them.”
He smiled and said, “Make no mistake about it, honey—your superb cooking makes
me love you even more.”
52. The Wise Man
A wise man said to a woman who’d become disillusioned with her religion: “A person
who doesn’t know how to play the cello will produce discordant notes with it. However,
a talented cello player will delight you with beautiful music ♫♫ when they play the
instrument. Thorough learning makes all the difference.”
She saw the light.
53. Transplant
The heart patient was greatly relieved that a suitable transplant donor had been found.
He said thoughtfully to his wife, “Dear, you know that I have always loved you from
the bottom of my heart. A new heart is not going to change that.”
She smiled. “I’m sure you won’t have a change of heart.” ♥
54. Wedding Invitations
The bridegroom asked his sister, “Did you send out all the invitations? Only five of my
friends are here.”
She said, “I emailed your friends in turn. I told them you were in trouble and needed
their help, and asked them to meet you at this restaurant. These five friends here are your
real friends.”
55. A Helping Hand
“I’ve never seen you lending a hand around the house,” the father said to his sixteen-
year-old daughter. “Your mother is busy in the kitchen.”
A minute later, the girl entered the kitchen and said to her mother, “Need any help?”
The mother lied about the tears in her eyes. “It’s not easy to cut onions.”
56. Seeds

21. The princess said to her suitors: “Six months ago, I gave each of you a seed to grow a
plant, and promised to marry the man with the most beautiful plant.
“This man, the only one with a pot that has no plant, has captured my heart. I gave you
boiled seeds, which couldn’t germinate.”
57. Blindfold
“Form a circle and use your handkerchiefs as blindfolds,” the teacher instructed his all-
boys class. “I’ll search your pockets for my missing cellphone.”
He found his cellphone on a boy but still searched the pockets of the rest of the lads.
He finally said, “Remove your blindfold.”
The boys stared open-mouthed at their blindfolded teacher.
58. Dinner Is Not Ready
“Why isn’t dinner ready yet?” he asked his wife, with a growl of anger.
“I’m sorry, dear,” she said. “I went to town to buy something. The taxi had a
puncture.”
Their teenage daughter said, “Dad, you owe Mum an apology. She spent three hours
looking for a present for you. It’s your birthday tomorrow.”
59. Sacrifice
She said she wanted her favourite singer’s new CD.
He said he didn’t even have the money for new tennis balls.
She sold her CD player and bought a pack of six tennis balls.
He sold his tennis racquet and bought the CD.
Tears of happiness blinded their eyes as they hugged each other tightly.
60. Two Notes
The soup kitchen boss found a note in the donation box. Her eyebrows lifted in surprise.
The note read: “Sorry—I took some money.”
Several weeks later, she found another note in the box. It was wrapped around a fifty-
dollar banknote, and read: “Thanks loads. I am cured of my illness. I can work again.”
61. The Weight
Holding a heavy book in his hand, the teacher asked the class, “What is its weight?”

22. No answers were forthcoming.
He said, “How long I hold it is more important than its weight. If I hold it for several
hours, my hand will feel tiredness. It is the same with stress—let go of it.”
62. The Queue
“You’re home early, Dad.”
“Yes,” said the father, who walked with a pronounced limp. “A woman let me take her
place in the queue. She walked to the back of the queue but ended up standing
immediately behind me.”
“How’d that happen?”
“The people who were initially behind her queued up behind her once more!”
63. Bombshell
“Your son hates you,” the manager of the old people’s home said to the widower, “but
you’ll be happy here.”
The son joined the two interlocutors.
The manager said to the son, “Thirty years ago, I helped your dad to adopt you, a little
orphan.”
The suitcase in the son’s hand dropped to the floor.
64. An Act of Charity
Feeling depressed, an obese man decided to do a Tik Tok-worthy act of charity to cheer
himself up.
He stood in the park holding a placard that read: “Jog ten laps around me for just one
dollar. All the proceeds will go to our neighbourhood soup kitchen.”
A big company gave him an exercise machine.
65. Birthday Card
A sight-impaired man who was in a bookshop with his guide dog struggled to read some
birthday cards. A woman said to him, “Let me read them for you.”
He suddenly cried, “My wife will surely love this one!”
“I love it!” she said, not disguising her voice now.
“Helen? That’s a sneaky little trick!”
66. The Tattoo

23. “Where have you been?” the single mother asked her teenage daughter.
“I had a tattoo done on my arm.”
The mother screamed, “That’s foolish!” She sent the poor girl to her room without
supper.
Later, the mother went to check on her daughter. The girl was asleep. The mother read
the tattoo: I ♥ Mum.
67. Surgery
She strode purposefully up to his bed to comfort him before his heart bypass surgery.
A day earlier, their teenage son had fallen from the tree house. Unknown to him, the
lad was in a coma. He asked, “How’s Michael?”
For the first time in their thirty-year marriage, she lied to him. “He’s all right.”
68. Birthday Present
“Don’t buy anything for my birthday,” she said. “Times are hard for us—we need to
spend our money wisely.”
The next day, she found a box each of her favourite chocolates and cookies on the
dining table.
He walked into the room. She hugged him and gushed, “You’re the best husband in the
world!”
69. The Juggler
The middle-aged street juggler was either inept or nervous—he kept dropping his clubs.
The crowd booed, but he carried on with his performance.
His ten-year-old son raised a hand to silence the crowd, and said, “My father is
collecting money for the earthquake victims in the tents.”
The spectators bowed their heads in shame.
70. Heartbroken
The two humour books had always stood next to each other on the bookshelf.
Every night, when their owner was asleep, they would tell each other funny jokes.
One day, the owner lent one of them to a friend. It never came back.
Heartbroken, the other book aged rapidly; its foxed leaves attested its desolation.
71. The Debt

24. “Forty-eight dollars,” said the supermarket checkout clerk.
The shopper suddenly realized that he’d left his wallet at home. The woman behind
him handed him a fifty-dollar note.
“Thanks. Please let me have your address.”
She gave him an address. “You can drop the money here.”
Later, he left fifty dollars at the address—an orphanage.
72. A New Friend
“Thinking of jumping?” the homeless man asked the young man on the bridge.
“Yes—my girlfriend left me.”
“Your car stopped with a jerk, and then a jerk got out of it,” said the homeless man,
smiling. “Please don’t throw away your precious life.”
They talked all the way to town for a refreshing meal.
73. The Beggar
On her way home from the temple, the middle-aged woman saw an old beggar sitting on
the pavement.
She took out a fifty-cent coin from her scuffed purse and offered it to him.
He declined the handout. “Sorry, ma’am. I don’t accept money from people wearing
threadbare clothes.”
Their smiles brightened up each other’s morning.
74. Funfair
“Did you win any prizes at the funfair?” the mother asked her son.
“No, Mum,” the boy said. “I spent the whole time in the fun house.”
“What’s so special about it?”
“Its walls are covered with magic mirrors. When I looked at my reflection, my
hunchback simply disappeared.”
Tears welled up in her eyes.
HUMOROUS STORIES
75. Dog and Cat*
The dog said to the cat, “Our master is sick. I feel sad. I’ve been here for five years.”
The cat said, “I feel sad, too. His wife is not so generous with the cat food.”
* * * * *

25. “Mum, Dad is back from the hospital! He’s fully recovered!”
The cat did a cartwheel and hurt its legs.
☺
76. Breakdown*
Her car broke down in the countryside.
A handsome motorcyclist in skinny jeans asked her, “Is something wrong?”
“My car died on me.”
“Open the bonnet. I’ll have a look.”
“You are kind,” she said. “Could you be my friend?”
He didn’t have the heart to tell her that he existed only in her imagination.
77. Misfortune*
He had an unhappy marriage with a shrewish woman. For the children’s sake, he stayed
with her.
A day after her death, he met an old friend, who said, “I’m terribly sorry about your
misfortune.”
“What misfortune?”
“Your wife died of a heart attack, didn’t she?”
“Yes, she did—but that’s her misfortune, not mine.”
78. The Errand*
A woman asked her superhero husband to buy a tub of yoghurt from the convenience
store several blocks away.
He did the errand so fast that when he came home, he met himself going out of the
house.
His wife smiled and said, “It’s now only three seconds later than it was three seconds
ago!”
79. Three Questions*
Ten-year-old Tommy rushed into the kitchen and asked his mother, “Mum, can I throw
stones at the neighbour’s cat?”
The mother frowned. “Certainly not, dear. You should always be kind to animals.”
“Can I pee in one of our flowerpots?”
“Don’t be disgusting.”
“Can I have the leftover pizza in the fridge?”
“Knock yourself out.”

26. 80. Face Mask*
“Sir, you’re wearing your face mask in the wrong way,” the pharmacist said to the male
customer. “It should cover your nose. Don’t you know that the virulent virus is highly
transmissible?”
“Don’t lecture me,” said the customer. “Just give me a packet of condoms.”
“Condoms, eh? You use them to put on your testicles?”
☺
81. Dunce*
The boy’s performance in the test was abysmal. His teacher refused to grade it; she wrote
“Dunce” on the paper.
The boy said to his father, “I’ll study harder.”
His father believed him.
The boy added, “The teacher was furious when I said to her, ‘Miss, why did you write
your name on my paper?’”
82. Tail*
A fox who escaped from a trap but lost his tail felt self-conscious about his missing
hindmost part.
He said to his friends, “Have your tails removed. You’ll look better.”
They were not taken in by his artifice.
He stormed out of the den, crying, “You all look silly with a tie for your bottom!”
83. The Librarian*
The librarian smiled to herself when she woke up from her dream. In the dream, a
mysterious figure showed her a piece of paper and said, “I’d like to speak to this novel,
please.”
“Why?” she asked, puzzled.
“I’m the new movie that is based on this book.”
“So?”
“I’d like to apologize to it.”
84. The Widow*

27. He moseyed across to the bar and introduced himself to the attractive widow who was
drinking by herself.
He finally said, “I’m fabulously rich, and I can take away your loneliness.”
She smiled charmingly at him and said, “You look like a nice man. I don’t mind being
your widow in the fullness of time.”
85. The Project*
“What do you see yourself in ten years?” his new friend asked him.
“A best-selling novelist.”
“Have you started writing the novel?”
“Yeah—I just have to write one paragraph each day, and the book will be completed in
ten years.”
He had ample time for the project: The judge gave him a long sentence.
86. Hair*
Rapunzel saw a man on horseback approaching the tower where she was held captive by
the witch.
She beckoned to him.
He stopped his horse.
She asked, “Who are you?”
He said, “My name is Ivan, and I’m a toupee maker in the city.”
“I see. Enjoy your ride,” she said, and closed the window.
87. Hide-and-Seek*
The old hospital was haunted.
On a cold and windy night, two mischievous young ghosts decided to beguile the time
by playing their favourite game: hide-and-seek.
The first ghost hid in the intensive-care unit.
The second ghost searched high and low to find his friend.
Forty-five minutes later, he found her and cried, “Aha! ICU!”
88. Honey*
She was working at the kitchen island.
He walked towards her. “Julianne! My honey! The sweetest thing in my life!”
She thought, I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.
“Oh, Nick!”

28. He squatted down and stared at the floor. “Look at this spillage of honey! Where’s the
rest of my favourite sweet stuff?!”
89. Ten Dollars*
“No, you can’t have ten dollars.”
The boy said, “Mum, if you give me the money, I’ll tell you what Dad said to the maid
this morning.”
The mother grabbed her purse and gave her son a crisp ten-dollar note. “What did your
dad say?”
“He said, ‘Tina, don’t forget to wash the car tomorrow.’”
90. Time Travel*
The inventor of the time machine consulted his notebook and said to the young man, “Is
tomorrow evening at eight OK?”
The prospective customer said, “My favourite soccer team is playing—I’ve got to
cheer them.”
“Let my machine transport you to a time when you can cheer any gladiator you like in
the arena.”
91. The Hungry Lion*
A hungry lion was resting under a noble tree after searching in vain for some food to
silence the growls in his stomach.
He suddenly saw a distorting mirror in the undergrowth.
Looking at his reflection, he recoiled from the sight. “Goodness! I have grown another
mouth! My nourishment problem is bigger than I thought!”
92. The Stranger*
A stranger rode into the peaceful small town.
He entered the saloon and juggled three guns.
The sheriff said to him, “No gunplay in this town. Hand them over.”
“I’m a magician,” said the stranger, and he made the guns disappear.
The sheriff was wide-eyed. “Where did the guns go?”
The stranger said, “Search me!”
93. Crowded Restaurant*

29. The seafood restaurant was crowded with diners.
The young man and his girlfriend couldn’t find an empty table.
He whipped his cellphone out of his pocket, placed it to his ear, and shouted, “You
need to get here at the double! He is with another woman!”
Four ashen-faced diners abandoned their meals in a hurry.
94. Happy*
An old man found an oil lamp and rubbed it. The genie gave him one wish.
“This is nice. I want to be happy.”
“Your wish is hereby granted.”
The old-timer turned into a little man surrounded by six dwarfs named Doc, Sneezy,
Grumpy, Bashful, Sleepy and Dopey, and a beautiful girl named Snow White.
95. Last Wish*
“Your injury is more serious than I originally thought,” the doctor said to Humpty-
Dumpty. “Do you have any farewell words?”
“Never sit on a wall if you’re an anthropomorphic egg.”
The doctor wiped a tear from her eye. “Any last wish?”
Humpty-Dumpty said in a low voice that hardly stirred the air, “Sunny side up.”
96. Two Gunslingers*
A gunslinger says to his adversary, “This town isn’t big enough for both of us. I’m giving
you thirty minutes to go away.”
The other gunslinger says, “Old Sam is still alive. He designed this town ten years ago.
If we get him to redesign it, it will be big enough for both of us!”
97. The Dance*
Sally said to Ben and Jimmy, “You both asked me out to the dance. I can’t decide who to
go with.”
Fishing out a coin from his trouser pocket, Ben said to Jimmy, “You want to flip for
it?”
Jimmy turned a somersault in mid-air.
Sally had a great time with Jimmy at the dance.
98. Guilty*

30. The court found the young woman guilty of the murder of her sister. The judge asked her,
“Have you got anything to say before I pass sentence?”
She said, “I wanted to kill myself, Your Honour. Her death was an accident.”
“What do you mean?”
“She was my identical twin. I killed her by mistake.”
99. A Sack of Corn
A member of a gang of outlaws asked the leader, “Why did you haggle over the price of
that sack of corn? You didn’t pay the farmer any money for it.”
“Well, I just wanted to ease the pain of his financial loss.”
“That was a nice thing you did, boss. It showed your compassion.”
100. The Misers
At the end of his speech at the community hall, the village chief proposed a whip-round
to help a sick villager pay his medical bill.
Three rich and tight-fisted villagers bit their fingernails nervously as the collection tin
neared them. At the psychological moment, one of them fainted, whereupon the other two
carried him out.
101. The Spinster
The old couple and their only child were watching TV.
“Your dad and I have chosen a man of probity to be your husband,” the wife said to the
daughter. “Will you marry him?”
“I will—”
“Good.”
“—not—”
“Don’t be foolish, dear.”
“—answer the question—”
“Don’t be unreasonable.”
“—right now.”
“You oughta think about it.”
102. Imaginary Friends
Timmy ended his friendship with his two imaginary friends when his parents gave him a
smartphone for his birthday.
His farewell was emotional, for they had been bosom friends for a coupla years.

31. The first imaginary friend said to the second imaginary friend, “Don’t be sad. We still
have each other. C’mon, let’s play rock-paper-scissors.”
103. The Phone Call
The phone rang, and Eddie answered it. “Hello.”
“Is this Eddie?” a gruff voice asked.
“Yes. Who’s calling, please?”
“I’m a friend of your father’s,” the caller said. “I saw what you did last night.”
“If this is a prank, it isn’t funny,” Eddie said, and slammed the receiver down.
The director yelled, “Cut! Perfect!”
104. Nail-Biting Suspense
The woman opened the front door and tiptoed into the bedroom.
She heard a cough inside the wardrobe, and walked towards it. “Who’s there?” she
asked.
A voice shouted, “He’s hiding inside with a machete!”
A woman gave the owner of the voice a tap on the shoulder. “Shh! I want to hear the
movie!”
105. Blind Date II
“Are you ready to order?” the waiter asked her.
“I’m waiting for my blind date,” she said.
“Okay,” he said, and withdrew from the table with a bow.
Two minutes later, she heard a voice call her name, “Cherry?”
She turned her head. “Richard?”
It was her ex-husband, with a red rose in his hand.
106. Special Delivery
Reading a note that was sent from a neighbouring kingdom via a carrier pigeon, the
beautiful young princess said to her father, “It’s from Prince Albert—the recipe for the
most popular dish in his palace. I’m so excited!”
“That’s very nice of him,” said the king, smiling. “Why are you eyeballing the pigeon,
dear?”
107. The Palm Reader

32. When Sam emerged from the room of the beautiful palmist, Dave asked, “How’d it go?”
Sam said, “She read my palm and knew that I love her.”
“Really?”
“Yep—and I have a date with her tonight!”
“High five!”
Raising his hand, Sam unwittingly revealed to Dave the words on his palm: I love you.
108. Grade Change
“Only a C minus?” the lad said to the teacher. “Change it to a B plus or I’ll knock you to
the floor and draw a line around you!”
A girl shouted hysterically, “Please give him a B plus, sir! He has a stick of chalk!”
The bell rang, rousing the lad from his reverie.
109. The Kiss
Walking into the bedroom, he found his loving wife resting in a deckchair.
He scratched his head and said, “Dear me, I just can’t remember why I walked here.”
She said, “You’re becoming rather forgetful, darling.”
He suddenly planted a smacker on her cheek.
“What was that for?”
“At least my walking here isn’t wasted.”
110. The Word
The advancing horde of spear-wielding men cried, “Oomwaluu!”
The explorer waved with both hands, but his guide ran in the opposite direction.
“Come back!” the explorer shouted. “What does their friendly greeting mean?”
The guide turned and cried, “Get outta here!”
“The word means ‘get outta here’?”
“No, bwana—it means ‘Nice to eat you’!”
111. The Password
His eyes alight with excitement, Ali Baba stood before the rock face and said, “Open
barley!”
The stone-slab door did not slide open, and he realized that he’d used an invalid
password. He ransacked his mind and finally remembered the correct password. “Open
sesame!” he cried.
The door remained closed, for the password was voice-sensitive.

33. 112. Stage Fright
It was her stage debut, and the understudy appeared nervous.
The doorbell rang, and she opened the door. The mysterious visitor was a tall young
man sporting a dark cloak.
As he bared his sharp fangs, a mouse (unnoticed by the audience) scurried across her
dainty feet. She screamed wildly.
The audience smiled with pleasure.
113. Happily Ever After
Cinderella told the handsome prince her life story.
His face darkening with anger, he asked her, “Do you want your stepmother and
stepsisters to be severely punished for their despicable crimes?”
“No,” the tearful beauty said. “I forgive them, because I want to feel joy.”
“I second the emotion,” he said with a pumpkin-size smile.
114. The Angler and His Dog
The young angler went fishing at the ancient wishing well and hoped that he’d have a
good catch. He was pleasantly surprised when his creel filled up with fish.
His frisky mongrel suddenly padded towards the well and barked loudly.
The fish in the creel turned into dog biscuits.
Best dream the canine ever had.
115. The Wording
“One wish?” said the man, incredulously.
“That’s right,” said the genie.
“I’d like to have enough money to last me the rest of my life.”
“You should rephrase your wish.”
“I know what I want. Just grant me my wish.”
“Your mind is made up, then,” said the genie, chuckling. “You will die next month.”
116. Frog
“If you kiss me,” the frog said to the girl, “I’ll change into a handsome prince after I’ve
eaten the fly on your lip!”
“I won’t kiss you,” she said, swatting the fly with her hand. “I’d rather have a talking
frog.”

34. “I’m baffled—this opportunity is too good to pass up.”
“I’m not heterosexual.”
☺
HORROR STORIES
117. The Sandwich*
A three-eyed monster said to his wife, “I’m hungry. Could you make me an eyeball
sandwich with lettuce and jicama?”
“What type of eyeball would you like?” she asked.
“Surprise me.”
Ten minutes later, as she brought out the sandwich from the kitchen, he asked her,
“Why is your third eye covered with a bandage?”
118. Ice*
Satan said to the man, “You have a complaint, eh? What is it?”
The man said, “I searched high and low but couldn’t find any ice.”
“Ice?” cried Satan, and he laughed out loud.
The man woke up, and the doctor said to him, “You gave us quite a scare. We thought
we’d lost you.”
119. Lost in the Woods*
A drunk man wandered into the woods and couldn’t find his way out. He consoled
himself with the thought that the word ‘fear’ was not in his vocabulary.
Dusk fell, and he thought, The word ‘help’ is certainly in my vocabulary.
He shouted, “Help!”
A disembodied voice said, “I’ll keep you company throughout the night.”
120. Encounter*
On a dark night, a woman was walking home alone. Outside the cemetery, a mysterious
figure dressed in white said to her, “Don’t be scared of me.”
Her mouth worked with fear. “I’ve always thought that such a scary thing only
happens to somebody else.”
The ghostly apparition chuckled. “You’re ‘somebody else’ to somebody else.”

35. 121. Crying*
They were lying in bed.
She said, “Our daughter is crying.”
He said, “Yeah, I know.”
“Luckily, we are the only people who can hear the crying. It’d be awful if the
neighbours can hear it.”
“Why don’t you do something about it?”
She said, “At this ungodly hour? The cemetery gate is already closed.”
122. Thieves*
The first thief said, “I’m a better thief than you. I have stolen expensive things like
watches, smartphones and jewellery.”
The second thief said, “You choose the people you steal from, right?”
“Yes. Don’t you do the same thing?”
“No—the people I steal from choose me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m a political thief.”
123. Knock*
A noise woke me up.
I rubbed my eyes and listened hard. There it was again—a sharp knock on glass.
I thought it was a tree branch knocking against a window pane.
I was wrong—it was a windless night.
And then I realized that the knock came from the back of the mirror.
124. The Wake*
Punctuality was not his strength. He was almost an hour late for the wake at the funeral
parlour.
By his reckoning, there were thirty family members and friends. No one spoke to him.
He looked inside the open casket and thought, My, my! My calm face is like a statue’s,
with my eyes closed forever.
125. House for Rent*
“This is a magnificent and comfortable house for you to rent, ma’am,” he said. “There’s
ac in every room.”

36. “Yes, it’s very beautiful indeed. Is it haunted?”
“Certainly not.”
“This is rather disappointing. I’ll be so lonely all the time.”
“I don’t understand,” he said.
“You do now,” she said, and floated through the ceiling.
126. The Mannequin*
The couple ran a large boutique.
She died.
He commissioned a mannequin of her. It’d be on display in the shop window.
The dummy was delivered in bubble wrap.
He was tired, and decided to unwrap it the next day.
The next morning, the night watchman reported to him: “Last night, I heard popping
sounds.”
127. Death*
The Grim Reaper led her out of her bedroom.
She swallowed hard. “Where are you taking me?”
“The other world.”
“May I ask you a simple question?”
“Be my guest.”
“What is the scythe for?”
The Grim Reaper chuckled. “It is just a defensive weapon. We don’t want Life to
snatch at you, do we?”
128. Bedroom*
She lived alone. One night, she returned home feeling exhausted. It’d been a busy day at
work.
She opened the door of her bedroom and reached for the light switch. She felt a
restraining cold hand on her hand.
A voice with icy breath whispered to her, “Leave the switch alone. I like the darkness.”
129. Explanation*
Her sunglasses hid the purple bruises below her eyes.
The long sleeves of her blouse covered the unsightly scars on her arms.

37. With his pen poised over the paper, the police sergeant said, “Sit down, ma’am. This
won’t take long. Please accept my condolences on your husband’s death. How did he fall
into the well?”
130. Fight*
Three hours earlier, they’d had a fight. She’d said, “Quit fooling around with other
women.” And he’d said, “Don’t believe everything you hear about me.”
Now, driving in the countryside, he held her hand tightly as he steered with one hand.
If my luck holds, he thought, the police won’t find the rest of her.
131. Intrusion*
The two burly strangers rushed into my office while I was working alone one evening.
They spoke double Dutch and brandished some primitive-looking weapons at me.
My heart was in my throat, but I managed to kill them instantly with a tiny bomb that I
kept in my pocket.
Grandpa was wrong. Humans do exist.
132. The Traveller*
Dusk was falling. The weary traveller decided to spend the night in a ramshackle wooden
hut along the quiet country road.
He ate a bun and then lay down on the floor.
As he was about to sleep, he heard a voice say, “Are you alone?”
“If only!” he screamed, running out of the hut.
133. The Way to a Man’s Heart*
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
She remembered that she read this advice somewhere.
She fed him fried chicken, medium-rare steak, French fries, hot dogs, et cetera.
When he died six months later, the doctor said, “His heart was in a bad way.”
She was finally free from her abusive husband.
134. The Search*
A drunk man wandered into the woods.
When he didn’t return home, his family alerted the authorities.
A score of volunteers combed the area for the hapless soul.

38. Twenty minutes into the search, the drunk joined the volunteers to unwittingly look for
himself.
Someone called out his name. The drunk said, “Yes?”
The search ended.
135. The Angry Wife*
The woman said, “My husband and his girlfriend are inside. Let me in.”
The cinema manager said, “Wait for the movie to end.”
* * * * *
A message on the screen warned the errant husband and his girlfriend to leave through
the side door, for the knife-wielding wife was in the lobby.
Twenty people left the hall hurriedly.
136. Revenge*
Before the wolf could knock on the door of Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother’s
cottage, he was attacked by two pigs who were each armed with a two-by-four.
The porcine perpetrators cried, “You shouldn’t have blown away our houses!”
Fifteen minutes later, Little Red Riding Hood shouted, “Grandma! There’s a dead wolf
in the porch!”
137. Two Readers*
She curled up in her beanbag to read a novel.
While she was still reading a left-hand page, the right-hand page turned by itself to the
next page.
She realized that her house was haunted and that the ghost was a fast reader.
She rolled her eyes in exasperation and screamed, “Get your own book!”
138. Mystery Photo*
A friend visited me to borrow a novel.
We made small talk, and then I showed him some photos in my cellphone’s album.
“A monkey sitting on my gate.”
“A monitor lizard crawling past my house.”
He said, “This is a photo of you sleeping. You live alone, so who took the pic?”
I gulped.
139. Phobias*

39. He suddenly had two phobias—fear of darkness, and fear of being shut up in a small
enclosed space.
He had made a grave mistake, and he had to live with it.
There was no way he could turn back the clock and say to his wife, “I wish to be
cremated when I die.”
140. Monster*
“Mummy,” the boy said as his mother was tucking him into bed, “there’s a monster in the
closet.”
“Nonsense.”
“There is, Mum. Please go and check.”
To humour him, she opened the closet door. She saw a clone of her son inside.
The clone said, “Mummy, there’s a monster in my bed. He’s a shape-shifter.”
141. The Man and Death*
A man who lost money on the stock exchange went down on his knees and cried out in
despair, “Death, please take me away from my miserable existence!”
Death appeared and frogmarched him out of the room.
The man gulped and said, “Kind sir, I need a stroke of good luck to pick me up.”
142. Two Politicians*
Two politicians who were hunting in the dense woods got lost.
“It’s getting dark soon. I think we are in big trouble,” the first politician said, and
laughed loudly to hide his nervousness.
“It’s not so bad for you,” said the second politician.
“What do you mean?”
“I have to find my way home alone.”
143. Kidnap*
Two men kidnapped his daughter.
They demanded a huge ransom.
He did not have the money, and failed to meet the deadline.
The kidnappers buried the girl alive in a rectangular wooden box.
To her horror, she was not alone in the box: She screamed at the sight of the fresh
corpse of her father.

40. 144. Dummy Run*
“Inspector, a man asked me for directions. I looked away for just a split second and my
toddler disappeared from the stroller,” she said, wiping away tears with the heel of her
hand.
She smiled at her reflection in the mirror and thought, That was pretty convincing.
She dialled the number of the police station.
145. Pizza*
The prognosis wasn’t good—she was dying.
She decided to indulge in her favourite foods every day.
One evening, while she was watching TV, the doorbell rang. It was the pizza delivery
guy.
This is strange, she thought. I didn’t order any pizza—and certainly not from someone
dressed as a skeleton with a scythe.
146. Word Vomit*
He plumped down in a chair, and his anger slowly subsided. He regretted his violent
behaviour.
Five minutes earlier, he had cried, “I hate you! You ruined my life! I’m going to smash
your neck against the wall!”
He had suited the action to the word, and the beer bottle had broken into small pieces.
147. Shock
He opened his eyes to inky darkness and felt dead tired.
He heard music that didn’t belong to his favourite genre. Indistinct chatter grated on
his nerves.
He screamed, “Quiet, please! I’m trying to get some shut-eye!”
He tried to sit up. “Ouch! My head hurts!”
He finally realized that his funeral was in progress.
148. Closet
He motioned to his mistress to keep quiet before he answered the call from his wife.
His wife said, “Sam, there’s someone in the house! I’m scared! I’m going to hide in the
closet! Please come home now!”
“OK, darling. Don’t make any sound.”

41. He speed-dialled a number. “She’s hiding in the master bedroom closet.”
149. Bedtime Story
“That was a beautiful story, Dad.”
“I’m glad you liked it. Nighty night.”
A minute later, the mother entered the room and asked the boy, “Want me to read you
a story, sweetie?”
“Dad already told me one.”
“He did?” she said, and collapsed into the armchair.
It was her first night as a widow.
150. Lucky Day
A woman who’d lost her job became depressed. She decided to kill herself with rat
poison.
As she was leaving the store with the poison, a man said to her, “It’s your lucky day.”
She scowled.
A few moments later, she heard gunshots and screams from inside the store.
The poison dropped from her hand.
151.The Killer
“The deal is off,” he said.
“What kind of hired killer are you?” she said, scowling. “Yesterday you said you’d kill
my husband, and now you say you can’t do it.”
She suddenly found herself looking down the barrel of a gun.
“What are you doing?”
“Sorry, ma’am—your husband offered me a higher fee.”
152. Lucky Escape
A stiff wind blew the old man’s hat off.
He asked a passer-by, “Could you please get my hat for me?”
“Get it yourself.”
The old man picked up his hat.
A cat dislodged a flowerpot from a windowsill of the high rise.
The flowerpot landed on the bench where the old man had sat.
153. Close Call

42. The woman started her car.
A stray dog ran and sat before the car, barking loudly.
Unable to reverse her car, the woman got out of it to shoo the mongrel away.
She saw a drunken man sitting on the road, his back slouched against the bumper of
her car.
She hugged her canine saviour.
154. The Film Director
A film director lived alone with his dog.
One morning, he was in a hurry and left the house without feeding the canine. He’d be
away for twenty-eight hours.
As the chihuahua felt hunger, it thought of the message its master’s new movie might
show: No animals were harmed in the making of this movie.
155. The Party
Dressed as a ghost, Charlie walked past a cemetery on his way to a costume party.
“Going to the party?” a similarly dressed woman who was walking behind him asked.
“Yes,” said Charlie.
The host said, “Welcome, Charlie. I’m one of three aliens tonight, but you’re the only
ghost here.”
Underneath his make-up, Charlie paled.
156. Luck
He cashed his winning 4D ticket and strode out of the lottery shop, pursing his lips in a
silent whistle.
Walking on the quiet street, he thought happily, My luck is in. I think I’ll buy a
smartphone and a smart TV.
Behind him, a knife glinted in the sunlight. The robber quickened his pace.
157. Neighbours
He stopped his car. “Need a lift?” he asked her.
“All right,” she said.
“Beautiful night, innit?”
“Yes,” she said.
“Where to?”
“Drop me at the entrance to the cemetery.”

43. “I’m not surprised.”
“What do you mean?”
“I stole this rust bucket for some fun—hot-wired it,” he said. “I’m in the grave behind
yours.”
158. The Visitor
“You’re Death, aren’t you?” said the single mother.
“Yes,” said the Grim Reaper. “I’ve come to take you.”
“But my son is so young—he needs me.”
“That’s why I’ve come to take you.”
“What?”
“Your son choked to death on a meatball in the canteen. The headmaster hasn’t called
you yet?”
The phone rang.
159. The Hunters
The four hunters camped just outside the woods. As they sat around the campfire
drinking hot coffee, Andy asked Ben, “Do you know any good ghost stories?”
“No,” said Ben.
“What about you, Charlie?”
“Sorry—no.”
“David?”
“No.”
A little voice from behind the nearest tree said, “I do!”
The four men turned deathly pale.
160. The Text Message
He read her text message: “I’m sorry—I’m leaving you for another guy.”
He couldn’t believe his eyes, for she had declared her undying love for him.
She was aghast when she read his suicide note.
“Did you use my cellphone to send the text message?” she asked her brother.
His silence betrayed his guilt.
161. Drought
The drought persisted.
The witch doctor plunged a knife into his son’s abdomen.
The ritual didn’t bring rain, for the witch doctor had used a trick knife and fake blood.

44. When the chief learnt of the shenanigans, he cried, “You can’t fool the gods!”
The witch doctor killed himself.
It poured with rain all evening.
162. Voyage
“A bonus of only a week’s salary?” the secretary said to her boss. “This is unacceptable.”
The boss said, “Would you like to have this free ticket instead? I can’t use it—my wife
is sick.”
She examined the card. “A holiday on the maiden voyage of the Titanic? This is
fantastic! Thanks a lot!”
163. Two Sons
“Seven years ago,” he said to her, “the hospital gave you and my wife the wrong baby
boy. I saw your son—my real son—outside his school yesterday. He looks like me. Your
real son is dead.”
“What do you want?”
“My real son.”
She resolved to see a doctor about her recurring dream.
164. Divorce
“What?!” cried the teenage girl. “You want to divorce Dad?”
“Yes, dear,” said the mother, tears beading her eyelashes.
“But why, Mum? You’ve been married for eighteen years. We’ve always been a happy
family—frequent outings, annual holidays, birthday parties…”
“Your dad wants to change his name—”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“—from Robert to Roberta.”
165. The Alien
“Mum!”
“What’s wrong, sweetie? Are you all right?”
“I’m okay,” the boy said, panting for breath. “I met an alien in the woods!”
“An alien? What did it look like?”
“It was hideous—it had big eyes, long arms and an aquiline nose.”
“What did it say?”
“It said, ‘Hi, Martian, I am from Earth.’”

45. 166. “You Mustn’t Leave Here”
As the lad left the cemetery, he sensed a dense shadow behind him. He felt its ice-cold
breath as it whispered urgently to him, “You mustn’t leave here.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You don’t belong to the other world.”
The lad saw his reflection in a puddle and nodded.
He would get used to his grave.
167. Selfie
She held a fifty-dollar note above the shirtless beggar’s bowl and took a selfie. She then
returned the money to her purse and walked away. Not even ten cents for the hungry
beggar.
Her Facebook followers liked the selfie, applauding her seeming generosity.
Unfortunately for her, someone had videoed her heartless stunt on his smartphone.
168. The End
Reading a newspaper story on a factory explosion, he thought, The victims died tragically.
Death should come to every person only in their sleep.
One night, while he was returning home by taxi, he was so tired that he fell asleep. He
never woke up.
The cabby and another passenger also died in the accident.
Teluk Intan
Malaysia