Yepes 2 Julie Yepes Professor Toumey ENC1101 19 February 2020 Love- First Draft Love in a Digital Oriented Society To begin with, it is important to state that love is the supreme emotion above all other emotions. Romantic love is among the key human needs that propels one to self-actualizations according to the hierarchy of needs by Abraham Maslow. However, the advancements in internet and computer technology has made complex finding and sustaining romantic love. This is because unlike the past when single individuals met potential love partners via family, friends or colleagues, in the contemporary world, there are online dating websites such as Tinder. Whilst this has made it easier for people to find love, the main challenge is that technology has made people make rush judgements about settling in relationships. However, the key to maintain a healthy relationship in this digital era is premised on healthy communication and keeping healthy boundaries (Rosenthal 35). This are explicated in the subsequent paragraphs below. Comment by Edwin: Only use TAB once to indent a new paragraph, not twice. This goes for the next paragraph as well. Comment by Edwin: Insert a comma before adding non-restrictive information to the end of a sentence using gerund verbs (-ing) or the words/phrases “which, such as, including” Comment by Edwin: Since you’re talking about two things, use “have” plural Comment by Edwin: Move this word to the end of the sentence for better word flow. Comment by Edwin: Omit – we already assume that this is what you’re writing about. As stated above, there are various online dating platforms such as Tinder, Match.com and OKCupid. This implies that people looking for romantic partners can now do so by surfing on the internet and browsing through pictures. This offers a significant number of people convenience over the traditional physical meetings and referral through friends and family. Besides the convenience that it offers, such dating platforms increase the probability of getting into a relationship with someone who meets their criteria of their ideal love partner (Kirshenbaum, 21). Dating platforms also entails key challenges that present negate the essence of technology in love and relationships. First, the easiness in entering into a relationship has made individuals rush into relationships that they should have not entered into in the first place. “Individuals make rush judgements over the choice of partners and tend to overlook aspects that are significant qualities of a potential partner” (Gottman 89). This is because these judgements are clouded by superficial factors such as physical beauty and/or attractiveness. Comment by Edwin: Plural “entail” Comment by Edwin: Insert a comma here – this is the same rule as explained on page 1 The internet dating platforms emphasize on the need to find the perfect person to enter into a relationship with. Whilst this motive is good, there is no technology that can ever replace th ...

1. Yepes 2
Julie Yepes
Professor Toumey
ENC1101
19 February 2020
Love- First Draft
Love in a Digital Oriented Society
To begin with, it is important to state that love is the
supreme emotion above all other emotions. Romantic love is
among the key human needs that propels one to self-
actualizations according to the hierarchy of needs by Abraham
Maslow. However, the advancements in internet and computer
technology has made complex finding and sustaining romantic
love. This is because unlike the past when single individuals
met potential love partners via family, friends or colleagues, in
the contemporary world, there are online dating websites such
as Tinder. Whilst this has made it easier for people to find love,
the main challenge is that technology has made people make
rush judgements about settling in relationships. However, the
key to maintain a healthy relationship in this digital era is
premised on healthy communication and keeping healthy
boundaries (Rosenthal 35). This are explicated in the
subsequent paragraphs below. Comment by Edwin: Only use
TAB once to indent a new paragraph, not twice. This goes for
the next paragraph as well. Comment by Edwin: Insert a
comma before adding non-restrictive information to the end of a
sentence using gerund verbs (-ing) or the words/phrases “which,
such as, including” Comment by Edwin: Since you’re talking
about two things, use “have” plural Comment by Edwin: Move
this word to the end of the sentence for better word flow.
Comment by Edwin: Omit – we already assume that this is
what you’re writing about.
As stated above, there are various online dating platforms

2. such as Tinder, Match.com and OKCupid. This implies that
people looking for romantic partners can now do so by surfing
on the internet and browsing through pictures. This offers a
significant number of people convenience over the traditional
physical meetings and referral through friends and family.
Besides the convenience that it offers, such dating platforms
increase the probability of getting into a relationship with
someone who meets their criteria of their ideal love partner
(Kirshenbaum, 21).
Dating platforms also entails key challenges that present negate
the essence of technology in love and relationships. First, the
easiness in entering into a relationship has made individuals
rush into relationships that they should have not entered into in
the first place. “Individuals make rush judgements over the
choice of partners and tend to overlook aspects that are
significant qualities of a potential partner” (Gottman 89). This
is because these judgements are clouded by superficial factors
such as physical beauty and/or attractiveness. Comment by
Edwin: Plural “entail” Comment by Edwin: Insert a comma
here – this is the same rule as explained on page 1
The internet dating platforms emphasize on the need to find the
perfect person to enter into a relationship with. Whilst this
motive is good, there is no technology that can ever replace the
ability of the human mind to intuitively identify the right person
to fall in love with and enter into a relationship. As argued by
Hellen Fisher, “There’s not a dating service on this planet that
can do what the human brain can do in terms of finding the right
person.” Online dating platforms also make it easy for people to
choreograph their first impressions. They make people who are
insecure about their physical attractiveness have the leeway for
coming across as confident (Hendrix, 23).
This consequently makes it difficult to make sound judgments
of the first impressions of potential over partners because of the
possibility of a façade. Besides, such platforms tend to give the
idea that initiating texting is a sign of potential interest or
making a first move. However, miscommunication between

3. partners that meet on online dating sites is quite high and
misconstrued through texting (Rosenthal 56). Comment by
Edwin: Start this sentence with “Consequently, this makes…”
so that you’re not interrupting a subject and verb
With the intricacies of dating as outlined above, it is important
to understand that in the world today, technology and the
internet have become indispensable. Relationships and love
between couples has to subsist in the digital society today.
Besides, online dating, smartphones have become the easiest
channel by which couples’ access social media and use it as a
platform to post and share with the world some information
about their relationships. Often couples post photos or videos of
themselves on popular social media sites such as Instagram and
Facebook. Also, some information shared on their social media
accounts may touch on sensitive aspects of their relationships;
sometimes couples post details of their break-up on social
media and thus open up their relationship to public scrutiny
(Kirshenbaum 58). Comment by Edwin: There is no possessive
here, so no apostrophe
Smartphones and the internet also act as a disruption to
relationships to the extent that it interferes with couples
spending quality time together. There have been complaints
registered by couples on how whenever they are together, one
party tends to focus more on his/her phone and only paying
little attention to his/her partner. This implies that smartphones
today have become an” impediment to healthy communication
between partners especially when the two are together”
(Rosenthal 71).
Another challenge presented by smartphones is that they have
made it easy to propagate unfaithfulness in relationships. This
is because they ease communication with other people to the
extent that one can have multiple relationships with many
partners and still remain secretive about it. However, the
problem arises when one of the parties discovers his/her
partner’s promiscuity through accessing his/her smartphone and
hence breaking up the marriage through a separation or a

4. divorce (Rosenthal, 60). Comment by Edwin: Such a great
point!
With the above in mind, it is becoming increasingly important
for couples to have to make their relationships work in this
digital society. There are various considerations to be given if
relationships are to be maintained between couples. First, each
partner should be cautious not to allow their smartphones
jeopardize their relationship. This may entail keeping the
phones way when the couples have decided to spend time with
each other. Lack of distractions has been shown by research to
enhance the chances of fostering more robust romantic
relationships between couples (Gottman 201).
Besides, according each other time when together without
focusing on the phone has been correlated with” higher
relationship satisfaction amongst couples by boosting the
mental health as well as happiness of one’s romantic partner”.
However, there are a few instances when digital technology can
boost intimacy between couples. This is by playing certain app-
based games that encourage teamwork, cooperation and synergy
between the couple. Besides sexting is another way couples can
leverage on technology to enhance the intimacy in their
relationship (Rosenthal 57).
Secondly, couples should be conscious of what they post on
social media, especially if this has the possibility of harming
their relationship. Scientific research shows that couples who
post a lot of affectionate information on their relationship on
social media actually have lower levels of relationship
satisfaction. Such couples tend to be unhappy and they seek
justification of their relationships on social media. However,
this is not to say that couples should not share information
about their relationship on social media. Instead, the decision of
which information to share should be mutually agreed upon
between the couple such that none of the partners feel
embarrassed by whatever results out of the information posted.
Besides, literature also shows that posting one’s partner profile
picture on social media platforms such as WhatsApp actually

5. enhances the level of closeness amongst the couple (Rosenthal
84).
Third, the couple should have clearly agreed upon expectations
on texting. This is based on the fact that “different couples have
different opinions over texting and how frequently this should
be done between them”. Some partners may like to be in
constant communication with each other through texting while
others may prefer not to frequently text each other. Hence, it is
for the couple themselves to decide what works for them and
what they are most comfortable with. This should be premised
on the fact that receiving a nice message from one’s romantic
partner can go a long way in helping the other partner go
through a stressful day (Hendrix 43).
Fourth, consideration should be given to micro-cheating in the
digital society. This is “flirting as well as infidelity that is made
much easier on digital technology platforms”. This is because
with digital technology, it is difficult for one to determine and
monitor boundaries between people who flirt with each other.
To counter such micro-cheating tendencies between the couple,
open communication between them should be encouraged.
Besides, the couple should agree with each other with what they
consider to be acceptable online behavior. This will help
enhance on the level of trust between them and refrain from
engaging in any online behaviors that the other partner is not
comfortable with each other (Rosenthal 59). Comment by
Edwin: Needs citation
The tenets of healthy relationships remain constant both in the
pre-internet and post-internet eras. One of the cornerstones of
building healthy relationships is ensuring that there is healthy
communication between the couple. Healthy communication is”
open, honest as well as safe communication”. None of the
partners should hold back from speaking up whenever they have
an issue to address with the other partner. Besides, healthy
communication is founded on respect and unconditional support
for each other. This entails respecting each other privacy by for
instance not snooping on each other’s phone or being insecure

6. over minor actions by one’s activities on social media
(Kirshenbaum 63). Comment by Edwin: Needs citation
The other cornerstone of healthy relationships is healthy
boundaries. This means creating and respecting boundaries that
have been agreed on by the couple. This helps secure the type of
relationship that works for both. Such boundaries should bot
limit either of the partners from interacting with friends online
or sharing passwords to personal email addresses or social
media accounts (Rosenthal, 116).
The digital society today has redefined how people fall in love
and get into relationships. Online dating platforms such as
Tinder have made it easy for people to find potential romantic
partners who meet the criteria of their ideal romantic partners.
However, digital technology has also made it difficult for
people to maintain health relationships because they act as
distractions, especially social media. The key to maintaining
healthy relationships in the digital society is based on healthy
communication and having healthy boundaries between the
couple.
Works Cited
Gottman, J. The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work.
Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Saxton (2012). Comment by
Edwin: Gottman, John. The Seven Principles of Making
Marriage Work. Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony, 2012.
Kirshenbaum, M. I Love You But I Don’t Trust You. Penguin
Publishing Group. Columbia (2012). Comment by Edwin:
Kirshenbaum, Mira. I Love You But I Don’t Trust You. Penguin
Publishing Group, 2012.
Hendrix, H. Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples.
H. Holt & Company. Field (2001). Comment by Edwin:
Hendrix, Harville. Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for
Couples. H. Holt & Company, 2001.

7. Rosenthal, N. Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Keeping the Flame
Alive. Friesen Press. Iowa State (2014). Comment by Edwin:
Rosenthal, Neil. Love, Sex and Staying Warm: Keeping the
Flame Alive. Friesen Press, 2014.