1. Communication skills for
workplace
Nurhasmiza Sazalli
University of Exeter
March 9, 2013

2. Some background info about me
• PhD student at University of Exeter
• Qualification:
 M. Sc (University of Exeter, UK)
 M. ELS (National University, Malaysia)
 B.Ed TESL (University of Exeter, UK)
• Working experience:
13 years of teaching (English subject and others)
 University of Technology Malaysia (since 2008)
 Malaysia National Secondary Schools (since 2002)

3. Why I do this short course?
• Part of my research on the affordance of mobile
technology and web 2.0 to enhance students learning
• For my research respondents to gain benefits from it.
Why you are chosen to be my respondents?
Reliance on Smartphone and Web 2.0 tools by most
university students
This course is also offered by most Malaysia University
to prepare undergraduates before they start working
 You are entering the working world soon

4. What I hope from you
• Attend this short course and participate in all
the activities during the course
• Do the assignment given
• Present your work for the assignment (2
weeks from today)
• Beat the others!! (it’s a competition)
• Cooperate with me when I collect the data
from you.

5. Communication barriers
• Why do you think sometimes it is difficult for
you to communicate with someone?
• What are your barriers in communication?

6. Communication basics and barriers
Common barriers/ problems to communication:
• Physical barriers
• Perceptual barriers
• Emotional barriers
• Cultural barriers
• Language barriers
• Gender barriers
• Interpersonal barriers

7. Gender barriers: Typical Differences in Male
and Female Styles of Communication
Women Men
Talk to other women when they have a Don’t see the point in sharing personal
problem or need to make a decision issues
More relationship oriented, and look for Tend to relate to other men on a one-up,
commonalities and ways to connect with one-down basis. Status and dominance is
others important.
Focus on building rapport, by sharing Tell and give information rather than ask
experiences and asking questions questions. Share experiences if needed
If women have a disagreement with each Men can have a disagreement, move on
other it affects all aspects of their to another subject and go get a drink
relationship together
At meetings women nod their head to Men think the woman is agreeing with
show they are listening them. He is surprised when she later
disagrees, since she nodded her head

8. Solutions
• Physical barriers : “open office” plan, remove the
physical barriers, Cubicles layout to encourage greater
openness and collaboration.
• Perceptual barriers: Do not simply judge the book by its
cover
• Emotional barriers: put our emotions aside when
communicating with people. The whole world does not
need to know our problems.
• Cultural barriers: find a common ground to work from,
consider the different cultures that exist

9. • Language barriers: Suit the level of language to whom you
are speaking to
• Gender barriers : Appreciate the differences between the
genders. Do not make assumptions, so ask them politely if
you are not clear of something.
• Interpersonal barriers : More communication, more
engagement with others
A skilled communicator must be aware of these barriers and
try to reduce their impact by continually checking
understanding and by offering appropriate feedback.

10. What’s your communication style?
http://www.newlineideas.com/test-
yourself.html

11. How to get to know other people?
Type Passive Assertive Aggressive Passive -Aggressive
General talks little, puts self Firm but polite and Sarcastic, superior, know Indirect aggression that
down, praises others clear messages, it all, interrupts, critical, hides behind an
“I don’t mind…that’s respectful of self and put-downs on others agreeable face, hit-and-
fine….yes alright” others “This is what we’re hide. Mutter to
“That’s a good idea, doing, if you don’t like it, themselves rather than
and how about if tough” confront the person or
we…” issue. They sabotage you
“I will appear cooperative
but I’m not.”
Beliefs You’re okay, I’m not I’m okay, you’re I’m okay, you’re not ‘You think I’m ok with
Others are always okay Believe they are entitled you? I’m not!!’ Have
more important, so it Believes or acts as if to have things done their difficulty acknowledging
doesn’t matter what all the individuals way, others are less their anger. Use facial
they think anyway involved are equal, important expressions that don't
each deserving of match how they feel - i.e.,
respect smiling when angry . Use
sarcasm
Eyes Avoids eye contact, Warm, welcoming, Narrow, emotion-less, Usually do not have a
looks down, teary, friendly, comfortable direct eye contact with
pleading eye contact staring, expressionless you. In their mind, they
are setting booby traps all
around you.

12. Passive Assertive Aggressive Passive-
agresive
Posture Makes body smaller Relaxed, open, Makes body bigger – Pretend to be
– stooped, leaning, welcoming upright, head high, relaxed, open and
hunched shoulders shoulders out, welcoming but
hands on hips, feet actually they have
apart less confidence on
themselves
Hands Together, fidgety, Open, friendly and Pointing fingers, Together, clammy
clammy appropriate making fists,
gestures clenched, hands on
hips
Consequences Give in to others, Good relationships Make enemies, Become alienated
don’t get what we with others, happy upset others and from those around
want or need, self- with outcome and self, feel angry and them
critical thoughts, to compromise resentful Remain stuck in a
miserable position of
powerlessness (like
POWs)
Discharge
resentment while
real issues are
never addressed so
they can't mature

13. Why do we need to be aware of
different communication style?
• To improve ourselves
• To convey our ideas or views efficiently to
others.
• To adapt with others and to suit their styles of
communicating.
• To make the person talking to us feel
comfortable as we select and emphasize
certain behaviours that fit within our
personality and resonate with them.

14. How would you deal with them?
Activity 1
Have a look at these situations and decide how...
...a passive person would react
...an aggressive person would react
...a passive-aggressive person would react
...an assertive person would react

15. 1. You are trying to concentrate on some
important work. However, a few of your co-
workers are laughing and horsing around.
What do you do?
2. You are the head of your department. A
young lady who works for you has started
coming to work late everyday and is
extremely moody. What do you do?

16. 3. Your boss has borrowed your laptop to do some
work. He has had it for several hours and it is now
time to go home. You really want to take it home to
do some personal work. What do you do?
4. Your boss walks up behind you when you are
using the company phone for a personal call. "How
much longer do you plan to be?" he asks. What do
you do?

17. How to deal with these people?
Passive Aggressive Passive-aggressive
Ask clear, direct Try not to take their Ask clear, direct questions when
you hear that they are weaving
questions. behavior personally
a tale that doesn’t make a bit of
sense
Be patient! Stay calm
Confront when you suspect the
person is hiding their anger or
Let them know how much Wait till they are less
resentment
you desire to understand. angry, then talk to them
calmly Point out the disconnect
Force them to make between their words and
behavior
decision when the timing Gently teach compromise
is right. (or get an outside Don’t let them control you
counselor to help do it)
Model healthy Pick you power phrases. Say:
“It may have been intended as a
communication and Be a detective – when joke, but I found it hurtful, not
confident decision- and where are they most funny”.
“Did you withhold the password
making aggressive? because you don’t want me to see
the material?”
“Whatever your reason for being late,
I need to tell you how it affects me”.

18. Neuro-Linguistics Programme (NLP)

19. The importance of knowing our
learning style
• To improve performance on the job, in training, and in
interpersonal situations
• To make learning and communication easier by
working with your own style as we are aware of how
we and other perceive and process information
• To help yourself learn faster and more easily
• To understand that different individuals need to be
taught in various ways that vary from standard
teaching methods
• To reach different individuals by presenting
information in several different ways
• To help you strengthen your rapport with people
around you

20. How to know our preference?
• Do you seem to get more from reading the
handout or from listening to the presenter?
• Do you prefer listening to the material and
sometimes get lost if they try to take notes on the
subject during the presentation?
• Do your prefer to read the handouts and look at
the illustrations the presenter puts on the board?
• Do you do best with "hands on" activities and
group interaction?

21. Take this test
http://www.new-oceans.co.uk/new/vak.htm

22. Visual Preference Auditory Preference Kinaesthetic Preference
Remember what was seen, Talk to themselves while Respond to physical rewards
rather than heard working
Touch people to get their
Memorise by visual Easily distracted by noise attention
association
Move their lips and pronounce Stand close when talking to
Neat and orderly the words as they read someone
Speak quickly Enjoy reading aloud and Gesture a lot
listening
Good long-range planners and Can't sit still for long periods of
organisers Can repeat back and mimic time
tone pitch and timbre
Observant of environmental Can't remember geography
detail Find writing difficult, but are unless they've actually been
better at telling there
Apearance-oriented in both
dress and presentation Have problems with projects Use action words
that involve visualisation, such
Good spellers and can actually as cutting pieces that fit May have messy handwriting
see the words in their minds together
Like to be involved in games

23. Their predicates, or "process words."
Visual people learn through what they see
• "That looks right to me"
• "I get the picture"
Auditory learners from what they hear
• "That rings a bell"
• "That sounds right to me,"
Kinesthetic learners from movement and
touching.
• “Can you show me how it works?”

24. What to do when you know others’
preference of modality?
• Identify the predicates (process words) of others when
they are communicating.
• Then, make it a point to match their preference when
you speak to them.
• Use the process words that the person can relate
to, you can also match the speed at which they talk.
 Visual speak quickly
 Auditories at a medium speed
 Kinesthetics more slowly.
• Matching your modality to another's is a great way to
create rapport and an atmosphere of understanding.

25. Body language
• Noticing the signals that people send out with
their body language is a very useful social skill.
• Some of us can read it naturally and some of
us are notoriously oblivious.
• Fortunately, with a little extra
attentiveness, you can learn to read body
language, and with enough practice it'll
become second nature.

26. Activity 2: Lie detector!
• Get a partner.
• The person on the left needs to think of 2 situations
(one of it is a lie and another one is a truth). Describe
both situations to the person on the right.
• The person on the right needs to guess which one is a
lie and which one is true. The person on the right
needs to observe the body language of the person on
the right since he/she starts to think of the situations.
• The person on the left then tell the person on the right
whether he/she make the right guess or not.

27. For the student on the right.
• What body language that you notice from
your partner?
• What do they mean?
• How do you make the guesses?
• What were your clues?

28. Eyes looking right (generally)
• creating, fabricating, guessing, lying, storytelling
• Creating = making things up and saying them.
• May indicate lying, may also not, for
example, storytelling to a child, this would be
perfectly normal.
• Looking right and down indicates accessing
feelings, which again can be a perfectly genuine
response or not, depending on the context, and
to an extent the person.

29. Eyes looking left (generally)
• recalling, remembering, retrieving 'facts'
• Recalling and then stating 'facts' from memory in
appropriate context often equates to telling the
truth.
• Whether the 'facts' (memories) are correct is
another matter.
• Left downward looking indicates silent self-
conversation or self-talk, typically in trying to
arrive at a view or decision.

30. How do we read body language?
From http://www.wikihow.com/Read-Body-Language
• Pay attention to how physically close
someone is to you
• Watch their head position
• Watch their eyes
• See if they're mirroring you
• Be aware of nervous gestures
• Watch their feet

31. 1. Pay attention to how physically close someone is to you.
• The closer they are, the warmer they are thinking of you.
• If you move slightly closer to them, do they move slightly
further away?
• That means they don't want your interaction to be any more
personal than it already is.
• If they don't move further away, then they are receptive.
• And if they respond by getting even closer to you, they
probably really like you or are very comfortable around/by
you.

32. 2. Watch their head position.
• Overly tilted heads are either a potential sign of sympathy,
or if a person smiles while tilting their head, they are being
playful and maybe even flirting.
• Lowered heads indicate a reason to hide something.
• He may be shy, ashamed, timid, keeping distance from the
other person, in disbelief, or thinking to himself or herself.
• Or he may be unsure if what he said was correct, or could be
reflecting.
• It should be noted that some
cultures see this as a sign
of respect.

33. 3. Watch their eyes
• Tend to look right when the brain is imaging or creating, and left when the
brain is remembering.
• Due to the parts of the brain: RIGHT handles creativity/ feelings,
LEFT handles facts/ memory
• Looking right when stating facts does not necessarily mean lying, it could
be that the person is trying to guess/ think of a valid answer as he does
not know the real answer.
• People who look to the sides a lot are nervous, lying, or distracted.
However, if a person looks away from the speaker, this could indicate
discomfort display. Looking askance (sideways glance) generally means the
person is distrustful or unconvinced.
• If someone looks down at the floor a lot, they are probably shy, upset, or
trying to hide something emotional.
• If their eyes seem focused far away, that
usually indicates that a person is
in deep thought or not listening.

34. 4. See if they're mirroring you.
• If someone mimics your body language this is
a very genuine sign that they are trying to
establish rapport with you.
• Try changing your body position here and
there. If you find that they change theirs
similarly, they are mirroring.

35. 5. Be aware of nervous gestures:
• Brushing hair back with fingers - the person might like
you, or is thinking about something conflict with yours. He
might not voice this. If you see raised eyebrows during this
time, you can be pretty sure that he disagrees with you.
• Constantly pushing their glasses- pushing them up onto
their nose, with a slight frown, may indicate they disagree
with what you are saying. Look to make sure they push up
their glasses with an intent, not casually adjusting them.
• (Note: A frown may also indicate eyestrain, and constant
re-adjusting of glasses could be the result of an improper
fit. The distinguishing feature is whether they are looking
directly at you while doing it.)
• Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes illustrate an attempt
at understanding what is being said or going on.

36. 6. Watch their feet:
• A fast tapping, shifting of weight, laughing, or movement of the foot =
impatient, excited, nervous, scared, or intimidated.
• Feet tapping = a desire to leave or wanting to get somewhere quickly.
• Slow shuffling = boredom with the current situation. If during flirtation your legs/feet
touch, tapping can generally be interpreted as nervous excitement.
• Note though that some people with ADHD will constantly jiggle their legs. It doesn't
mean anything. Some people also do it out of habit.
• If the person is sitting, feet crossed at the ankles = they're generally at ease.
• If while standing, a person seems to always keep their feet very close together =
they are trying to be "proper" in some way or they are feeling more submissive
or passive
• If they purposely touch their feet to yours, they are flirting!
• Some people may point their feet to the direction of where they want to go or
sometimes their interest. So if it's pointing at you, he/she may be interested in
you.

37. Do you listen enough?
Are you an active listener?
Test yourself here
http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/t
ake_test.php?idRegTest

38. • How do you know that people
are not listening to you?

39. How to be an active listener?
• Pay Attention
 Use your face, voice, and body to show that you are truly interested in
what the other person is saying.
 Look at the speaker directly.
 Put aside distracting thoughts.
• Show That You're Listening
Encouraging words to show you are listening.
 "Mmm, hmm"
 "I see.“
Nonverbal actions to show you are listening.
 relaxed posture
 head-nodding, eye contact

40. • Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing.
 "What I'm hearing is,"
 "Sounds like you are saying,.."
• Do not interrupt
 It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.
• Respond Appropriately
 Be candid, open, and honest in your response.
 Assert your opinions respectfully.
 Treat the other person in a way that you think he or she would want to be
treated.

41. Negotiating skills
Watch this!
• Ah Wing
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=play
er_embedded&v=5LhzdsdSf0s

42. Negotiating skills
• Some tips from salespeople and business
owners
1. Flinch
"How much do you want again?!?!"
You must appear shocked and surprised that they could be
bold enough to request that figure.

43. 2. Recognize that people often ask for more
than they expect to get.
• Appear upset when the customer asks for
bargain to indicate that their demand is
“unfair”.

44. 1. Get to know your product well
• Know your product and learn about your
competitors as possible.
• You will know how to answer when the buyer
says something like
‘I can get the same thing with cheaper price if I
were to buy it from other person’

45. 4. Practice at every opportunity
• As a consumer, develop the habit of asking for
a price break when you buy from a retail
store.
• "What kind of discount are you offering
today?"
5. Make your customers fall in love with your
product
• “Do you want to take a test drive?”

46. Presentation skills
• 2 key elements of effective message:
1. Preparation
• Proposal, presentation slides, handouts,
time, your appearance
• Info about the product should be at the back
of your hand!
• Your audience is interested to hear, see and
maybe try to use the product. Extra readings
can be done other time.

47. 2. Delivery
• Be confident and enthusiastic
• Speak clearly and firmly
• Eye contact is crucial to holding the attention
of your audience.
• Don't read out your talk
• It’s OK to use humour, in moderation

48. Building positive relationship with
colleague
1. Share at meetings
• share your proficiency, knowledge and
individuality at office meetings.
2. Speak positively
• Do not bad mouth people!
• When you constantly speak positively about
others, people will notice and recognize you
as a better person

49. 3. Be supportive and collaborative
4. Appreciate others
• Send thank you notes to those who have
helped you at work
5. Be responsible
• If you’re unable to complete a task for some
reason, make sure information is
communicated to all team members who
would be impacted.

50. 6. Be considerate
• Understand that people are unique and dwell
on their positive qualities, not their negative
qualities
7. Communicate, communicate, communicate!
• Your co-workers are not mind readers, so
make sure you’re communicating with them
and your manager on a regular basis

51. Activity 4
• Group 1: Indonesian cleaners working at your office-
(age: 49, very hardworking but always look tired as
there are not enough cleaners working there)
• Group 2: Office boys (age:19, always try to win lady
executives’ heart, attitude: playful) , clerks and
technician (age: 53, very efficient when working and
always serious at work)
• Group 3: Young executives. Need to ask the help of
Group 1 to clean the mess in the office
• Group 4: Young executives. Need to work with Group
2, ask them to do some office tasks.

52. For Group 1 and Group 2:
Decide in your group how every members
should behave when others ask for your help.
For Group 3 and Group 4:
Decide what kind of help you would need and
how you are going to ask from Group 1 and
Group 2 members.

53. Students’ assignment
• Due in 2 weeks time
• Your presentation will be judged by professionals from
the corporate world.
• Please record your group discussion today- how are
you going to do the assignment/ how to contact each
other
• I need to analyse your discussions with your group
mates today and during the 2 weeks discussion (using
the Facebook Group for example)
• Please write the place, time, date and your feelings
every time you use your mobile devices and web 2.0
tools when contacting your groups/ do the assignment
in your students’ diary.

54. What to write in your diary?
My mobile devices use record
• Date
• Time
• Place
• Type(s) of mobile device(s) (eg. Laptop,
Smartphone)
• My feeling when using the device (s)

55. Thank you
Nurhasmiza Sazalli
nbas201@exeter.ac.uk

56. References
• http://www.csedev.com/the-seven-barriers-of-communication
• http://www.simmalieberman.com/articles/maleandfemale.html
• http://www.au.af.mil/au/awc/awcgate/sba/comm_style.htm
• http://www.angelfire.com/az2/webenglish/commstyles.html
• http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lee_Hopkins
• http://www.new-oceans.co.uk/new/learn.html
• http://www.holistic-online.com/hol_neurolinguistic.htm#top
• http://www.businessballs.com/body-language.htm#body-language-evolution
• http://www.wikihow.com/Read-Body-Language
• http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm
• http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/presentationskills.htm
• http://sbinfocanada.about.com/cs/marketing/a/negotiationkr.htm
• http://urbanext.illinois.edu/dress/about.html