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Interpersonal Communication
Chapter 7: Developing and Maintaining Relationships
+
What we will cover…
1. Types of interpersonal relationships
2. Why we form relationships
3. Managing Relationship dynamics
4. Self- Disclosure and Interpersonal Relationships
5. Stages of a Relationship
The chapters on interpersonal will be dense so make sure you
ask questions?????
+
Interpersonal Communication
Interpersonal relationships: are the interconnections and
independence between two individuals.
Interpersonal Communication: is the exchange of verbal and
nonverbal messages between two people who have a
relationship and are influenced by each other’s messages.
+
Types of Interpersonal Relationships
People have webs of relationships or relational networks that
connect them to others.
We will focus on the following 4:
Family
Friendship
Romantic Relationships
Online Relationships
+
Family Relationships
Family- is a small social group bound by ties of blood, civil
contract, and a commitment to care for and be responsible for
one another.
Family relationships are the most basic relationships in our
lives.
Family relationships help us develop our communication skills
and characteristics that affect future interactions.
+
Friendship
Friendship: is a close and caring relationship between two
people perceived to be mutually satisfying and beneficial.
Friendship has many interpersonal benefits.
Important characteristics of friendship include
Availability
Caring
Honesty
Trust
Loyalty and
Empathy
+
Romantic Relationships
Romantic relationships define love as deep affection for others
involving emotional ties, commitment, and intimacy.
Intimacy: is defined as closeness to and understanding of a
relational partner
The 6 categories of Love include:
1. Eros (Erotic and Sexual Love)
2. Ludus (Playful, Casual Love)
3. Storge (Love that lacks Passion)
4. Pragma (Committed, practical love)
5. Mania (Intense, romantic love)
6. Agape (Selfless, romantic love)
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Romantic Relationships (cont..)
Relational Harmony: has physical and psychological benefits.
Differences in notions of love vary little among cultures
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Online Relationships
Social Information Processing Theory:
Argues that communicators use unique cues in their online
messages to develop realtionships that are just as close as face-
to-face ones.
Hyperpersonal Communication:
Can be present in online communication. These messages are
more personal than face-to-face ones.
Romance can also be maintained through the use of electronic
media. Online communication allows us to maintain intimacy
over distance
+
Functions of Relationships
Relationships provide companionship and fulfill the need for
inclusion. This need can sometimes be motivation behind the
desire for a relationship.
Relationships also fulfill the needs for mental, emotional, and
physical stimulation.
Some people use relationships to fulfill a practical or
psychological goal.
+
Interpersonal Attraction
Refers to the the multiple influences on the likelihood of
establishing relationships.
Proximity
Or nearness, is an important reason why we form relationships.
Proximity can be physical or virtual.
Physical Attraction
Plays an important aspect in interpersonal attraction.
Communication has a large impact on perceptions of beauty.
+
Attraction
Is often based on similarity.
The attraction-similarity hypothesis
Says that when we project ourselves on other people, we are
more attracted to them.
The matching hypothesis
Says we are attracted to those who have similar levels of
attractiveness.
The genetic- similarity hypothesis
Says we tend to favor relationships with people who appear
genetically similar to ourselves.
+
Managing Relationship Dynamics
Costs and Rewards
Refers to the advantages and disadvantages of relationships.
Social Exchange Theory- explains the process of balancing the
advantages and disadvantages of a relationship.
Rewards; are the parts of a relationship you feel good about.
1.Extrinsic Rewards- are external advantages, such as social
status or professional connections
2. Instrumental Rewards- are the resources and favors that
partners give one another such as living together to save money.
3. Intrinsic Rewards- are the personally satisfying rewards that
result from an exchange of intimacy.
Costs: are things that cause you stress or annoy you.
+
Reducing Uncertainty
Uncertainty Reduction Theory:
Argues that when people meet, their main focus is on decreasing
uncertainty about each other. To reduce uncertainty, one obtains
information about one’s relational partner.
Passive Strategies of obtaining information involve gathering
information without actual interaction.
Active Strategies are ways to obtain information more directly,
through a third person.
Interactive Strategies let a person obtain information through
direct conversation with the person they want to interact with.
+
Dialectical Tensions
Relational Dialectics Theory says that dialectical tensions are
contradictory feelings we have in every relationship.
Autonomy versus connection is a tension between independence
and dependence.
Openness versus closedness is a tension between disclosing
information and keeping it information private.
Predictability versus novelty is a tension between predictability
and stability.
+
Self- Disclosure and Interpersonal Relationships
Social Penetration Theory (SPT) explains how people move
from sharing superficial information to more intimate
information.
People move from revealing obvious information to more
private and less obvious information.
People reevaluate the costs and benefits of the relationship at
each layer.
Communication privacy management (CPM) theory explains
how people perceive information about themselves and whether
they will disclose or protect it. People control their private
information through boundaries.
Privacy management is susceptible to dialectical tensions.
Privacy management requires people to abide by cultural,
situational, and relational rules.
If there is a threat to privacy boundaries, people experience
boundary turbulence and readjust their need for privacy against
their need for self disclosure and connection.
Strategic Topic Avoidance- People avoid particular topics by
maneuvering the conversation away from undesirable topics.
There are benefits and detriments to strategic topic avoidance.
+
Stages of a Relationship
The initiating stage- is where you make contact with the other
person.
The exploratory stage- is seeking superficial information about
your relational partner.
The intensification stage- when relational partners become more
intimate and move their communication toward personal self-
disclosures; this may also include greater understanding of
nonverbal communication.
The stable stage- When partners feel comfortable understanding
their preferences and goals for each other.
Partners integrate into a stable bond if they feel the benefits
outweigh the costs.
Bonding- where partners share formal symbolic messages about
the importance of their relationship.
The declining stage- The relationship begins to come apart.
The declining stage can be brought about by uncertainty events
that leave partners wondering about the state of the relationship.
Interference through obstacles in the relationship can also lead
to the declining stage.
Finally, unmet expectations within the relationship can also lead
to the declining stage.
+
Relationship Decline
Relationship Repair may help the relationship that is in the
declining stage.
Repair tactics include improving communication, focusing on
the positive aspects, reinterpreting behaviors with a more
balanced view, reevaluating the alternatives to the relationship,
and enlisting the support of others to hold the relationship
together.
Partners must focus on on the relationship’s benefits, rather
than details.
Termination is the stage where the relationship ends.
This can happen gradually through passing away or abruptly in
a sudden death, where there is an unexpected termination of a
relationship.
+
Reconciliation
Reconciliation is when terminated relationships may be repaired
or rekindled. This can happen through many ways, including:
Spontaneous development, when partners end up spending more
time together.
Third Party Mediation.
High Affect, when partners resolve to be polite.
Tacit Persistence, when a person might refuse to give up on a
relationship.
Mutual Interaction, when people begin to talk more.
Avoidance, when people begin to miss each other.
+

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  • 1. Interpersonal Communication Chapter 7: Developing and Maintaining Relationships + What we will cover… 1. Types of interpersonal relationships 2. Why we form relationships 3. Managing Relationship dynamics 4. Self- Disclosure and Interpersonal Relationships 5. Stages of a Relationship The chapters on interpersonal will be dense so make sure you ask questions????? + Interpersonal Communication Interpersonal relationships: are the interconnections and independence between two individuals. Interpersonal Communication: is the exchange of verbal and nonverbal messages between two people who have a relationship and are influenced by each other’s messages. +
  • 2. Types of Interpersonal Relationships People have webs of relationships or relational networks that connect them to others. We will focus on the following 4: Family Friendship Romantic Relationships Online Relationships + Family Relationships Family- is a small social group bound by ties of blood, civil contract, and a commitment to care for and be responsible for one another. Family relationships are the most basic relationships in our lives. Family relationships help us develop our communication skills and characteristics that affect future interactions. + Friendship Friendship: is a close and caring relationship between two people perceived to be mutually satisfying and beneficial. Friendship has many interpersonal benefits. Important characteristics of friendship include Availability Caring
  • 3. Honesty Trust Loyalty and Empathy + Romantic Relationships Romantic relationships define love as deep affection for others involving emotional ties, commitment, and intimacy. Intimacy: is defined as closeness to and understanding of a relational partner The 6 categories of Love include: 1. Eros (Erotic and Sexual Love) 2. Ludus (Playful, Casual Love) 3. Storge (Love that lacks Passion) 4. Pragma (Committed, practical love) 5. Mania (Intense, romantic love) 6. Agape (Selfless, romantic love) + Romantic Relationships (cont..) Relational Harmony: has physical and psychological benefits. Differences in notions of love vary little among cultures +
  • 4. Online Relationships Social Information Processing Theory: Argues that communicators use unique cues in their online messages to develop realtionships that are just as close as face- to-face ones. Hyperpersonal Communication: Can be present in online communication. These messages are more personal than face-to-face ones. Romance can also be maintained through the use of electronic media. Online communication allows us to maintain intimacy over distance + Functions of Relationships Relationships provide companionship and fulfill the need for inclusion. This need can sometimes be motivation behind the desire for a relationship. Relationships also fulfill the needs for mental, emotional, and physical stimulation. Some people use relationships to fulfill a practical or psychological goal. + Interpersonal Attraction
  • 5. Refers to the the multiple influences on the likelihood of establishing relationships. Proximity Or nearness, is an important reason why we form relationships. Proximity can be physical or virtual. Physical Attraction Plays an important aspect in interpersonal attraction. Communication has a large impact on perceptions of beauty. + Attraction Is often based on similarity. The attraction-similarity hypothesis Says that when we project ourselves on other people, we are more attracted to them. The matching hypothesis Says we are attracted to those who have similar levels of attractiveness. The genetic- similarity hypothesis Says we tend to favor relationships with people who appear genetically similar to ourselves. + Managing Relationship Dynamics Costs and Rewards Refers to the advantages and disadvantages of relationships. Social Exchange Theory- explains the process of balancing the advantages and disadvantages of a relationship. Rewards; are the parts of a relationship you feel good about.
  • 6. 1.Extrinsic Rewards- are external advantages, such as social status or professional connections 2. Instrumental Rewards- are the resources and favors that partners give one another such as living together to save money. 3. Intrinsic Rewards- are the personally satisfying rewards that result from an exchange of intimacy. Costs: are things that cause you stress or annoy you. + Reducing Uncertainty Uncertainty Reduction Theory: Argues that when people meet, their main focus is on decreasing uncertainty about each other. To reduce uncertainty, one obtains information about one’s relational partner. Passive Strategies of obtaining information involve gathering information without actual interaction. Active Strategies are ways to obtain information more directly, through a third person. Interactive Strategies let a person obtain information through direct conversation with the person they want to interact with. + Dialectical Tensions Relational Dialectics Theory says that dialectical tensions are contradictory feelings we have in every relationship. Autonomy versus connection is a tension between independence and dependence. Openness versus closedness is a tension between disclosing information and keeping it information private.
  • 7. Predictability versus novelty is a tension between predictability and stability. + Self- Disclosure and Interpersonal Relationships Social Penetration Theory (SPT) explains how people move from sharing superficial information to more intimate information. People move from revealing obvious information to more private and less obvious information. People reevaluate the costs and benefits of the relationship at each layer. Communication privacy management (CPM) theory explains how people perceive information about themselves and whether they will disclose or protect it. People control their private information through boundaries. Privacy management is susceptible to dialectical tensions. Privacy management requires people to abide by cultural, situational, and relational rules. If there is a threat to privacy boundaries, people experience boundary turbulence and readjust their need for privacy against their need for self disclosure and connection. Strategic Topic Avoidance- People avoid particular topics by maneuvering the conversation away from undesirable topics. There are benefits and detriments to strategic topic avoidance. + Stages of a Relationship The initiating stage- is where you make contact with the other
  • 8. person. The exploratory stage- is seeking superficial information about your relational partner. The intensification stage- when relational partners become more intimate and move their communication toward personal self- disclosures; this may also include greater understanding of nonverbal communication. The stable stage- When partners feel comfortable understanding their preferences and goals for each other. Partners integrate into a stable bond if they feel the benefits outweigh the costs. Bonding- where partners share formal symbolic messages about the importance of their relationship. The declining stage- The relationship begins to come apart. The declining stage can be brought about by uncertainty events that leave partners wondering about the state of the relationship. Interference through obstacles in the relationship can also lead to the declining stage. Finally, unmet expectations within the relationship can also lead to the declining stage. + Relationship Decline Relationship Repair may help the relationship that is in the declining stage. Repair tactics include improving communication, focusing on the positive aspects, reinterpreting behaviors with a more balanced view, reevaluating the alternatives to the relationship, and enlisting the support of others to hold the relationship together. Partners must focus on on the relationship’s benefits, rather
  • 9. than details. Termination is the stage where the relationship ends. This can happen gradually through passing away or abruptly in a sudden death, where there is an unexpected termination of a relationship. + Reconciliation Reconciliation is when terminated relationships may be repaired or rekindled. This can happen through many ways, including: Spontaneous development, when partners end up spending more time together. Third Party Mediation. High Affect, when partners resolve to be polite. Tacit Persistence, when a person might refuse to give up on a relationship. Mutual Interaction, when people begin to talk more. Avoidance, when people begin to miss each other. +