Rapport gives you leverage.

1. Make A Good
Choice Every Create
A Good Rapport
With Them
Mary Grace Quinones Adame
The importance of having good
rapport with students can’t be
overstated.
Because rapport gives you
leverage.
It gives you leadership presence
and the influence to change
behavior.
It causes students to want to listen,
learn, and behave for you – even
when they’re hellions with other
teachers. Rapport is also the
ingredient that makes teaching
one of the most rewarding
professions on Earth.
In chapter 3 of Dream Class, I
talked about how building
rapport is easier than most
teachers realize. It doesn’t take
any extra time or effort.
You don’t have to spend your
prep hour chatting with students
or playing foursquare – although
there is nothing wrong with doing
so.
You don’t have to have the gift of
small talk or a comedian’s wit.
You don’t have to be anyone but
yourself. But it does take a choice.
You see, in any leadership
position there is a risk for
developing negative thoughts
about those given into your care,
especially if you’re struggling
with rebellious or unruly behavior.
And this can be very, very dangerous.
Because when you dislike or resent any one or more of your
students, they’ll know it. It’s something you can’t hide. Your negative
feelings about them will bubble to the surface one way or another.
They’ll come out in your body language, facial expressions, and tone
of voice. They’ll come out in the words you use and the vibe you
give off.
Have you ever heard the expression, “Your thoughts are showing”?
It’s a truism that becomes heightened in any position of leadership,
whether teacher,coach, or parent. Children in particular are ultra
sensitive to how adults perceive them.
So, while the key to building influential rapport is nothing more
than being consistently pleasant, it’s only possible if you choose to
like your students.
And it’s very much a choice.
It isn’t a reaction, a feeling, an intuition, or a hope. It isn’t based on
how they look, how studious they are, or whether or not they’re
outwardly friendly.
It doesn’t even matter if they’re disrespectful, misbehave behind
your back, or try to ruin your best lessons.
You choose to like them anyway. And here’s the amazing thing:
Once you commit yourself to liking every student and seeing only
the best in them – no matter who they are or what they’ve done in
the past – they become not so unlikable after all.
Because when you choose to like them, consciously and relentlessly,
they begin to like you right back – even the most difficult among
them.
They begin to behave differently around you, smiling and making
eye contact. They begin to trust you and want to please you. They
become differently people altogether.
It’s a virtuous cycle that only gets stronger with time.
So, practically, on the first day of school and thereafter, make it a
point to smile at every student. Talk to them like you would your
All-time best and most well-behaved students. And keep at it day
after day.
Choose to be happy to seethem.