3. Sofia Vergara
Sofia Vergara going full
Barbie. She looks fine . I’d
love to see her in
something that makes her
look less like a stereotypical
Latina bombshell, but on
the other hand, if it ain’t
broke, don’t fix it.
4. Jackie Cruz
I’m tempted to put
her in the “awful”
category, but it’s
already over capacity.
AS IS HER DRESS.
It’s clearly just cut
for a different-shaped
person.
5. Rachel McAdams
Some of the dresses in
this category are
actually quite lovely,
they just lack the wow
factor.
My complaint about
black lace over beige
lining is that it always
looks like a drab shade
of brown on the red
carpet. The silhouette is
just perfect, though.
6. Emilia Clarke
Another bright pink, and
while Emilia looks really
striking in this colour, it
seems like she’s wearing
a hooped petticoat
under this that ends at
her knees.
If I were her stylist, I
would have removed the
petticoat at the last
minute.
7. Julianna Margulies
Others seemed to like
this (I try to avoid
reading reviews before
writing my own, but you
know) but I’m
underwhelmed. The bib
over the bustier is
strange. She looks great
in white, though.
8. Anna Faris
Anna’s frock looks
better from the side. It
also looked different in
every picture I saw. I
liked some of them, and
disliked others. I think
the whole thing would
look better in a matte
crepe.
9. Alicia Vikander
I’m undecided on this one.
My initial reaction was
that it was too busy and
too old for Alicia. Like
something Jane Fonda
might wear. But on
second thought it fits
beautifully and it’s
interesting. So I don’t
know. Decide for me.
12. Jessica Pare
I’m biased in favour of
Jessica Paré because
she has an amazing
face. So I’m inclined to
think this look is
pretty stunning in a
1950’s Vogue-cover
kind of way, despite
the ribcage-windows.
But I could be wrong.
So into the “average”
category she goes.
14. Saoirse Ronan
This is probably a case of
the right dress on the
wrong person. Saoirse -
whom I love because I just
saw her in ‘Brooklyn’
which was very sweet – is
too pale to carry off this
colour. Maybe if her hair
was out though?
15. Uzo Aduba
It looks like the designer
thought up the bottom
half of this frock first,
and wasn’t sure what to
do with the top. It needs
structure.
16. Nicole Kidman
Another frock that some
people liked? It certainly
could be worse, but I’m
sticking with my first
impression: Ill-fitting,
crooked, tinselly clown
costume.
17. Kate Winslet
There’s nothing wrong with
this, and I love the deep
green, but Kate almost
always goes for a figure-
hugging block colour in a
matte fabric these days. It’s
almost a formal shift dress. I
just feel decidedly “meh”
about her whole wardrobe.
20. The Redmaynes
I don’t love the design of
Hannah’s frock, which
reminds me of a rural
freeway. But she’s
pregnant and she looks
interesting, so she gets a
pass.
21. Viola Davis
I just think this is a
misstep for Viola. The
mauve shade does
nothing for her, and
while I love a good
origami-inspired bodice,
the skirt lets this down.
22. Ariel Winter
Ariel can’t help being
voluptuous, but I do
think the gown, and
the jet-black hair, are
too severe and too
old for a petite
18-year-old.
24. Sophie Turner
This looks like something
Scarlett O’Hara might
wear to a funeral. It’s
stunning, but maybe not
on this person at this
event.
25. Diane Lane
I have no criticisms
whatsoever. Diane looks
flawless. I only put her
in this category because
I’m not overwhelmed,
I’m just whelmed.
26. Amanda Peet
I feel like I need to
just take Amanda aside
and have a serious talk
with her.
This concept could have
been executed so much
better.
27. Joanne Froggatt
I’m just not into this at
all, but I don’t totally
know why. The colour is
great. I think the boho-
chic hair and the blingy
belt ruin it. It’s too
‘Renaissance Fair.’
29. Ellie Kemper
I actually love this,
although I understand
why others don’t. The
olive green blobs do look
like something you’d find
in a petrie dish. But I
applaud people who take
risks with prints.
30. Christina Ricci
I looked at this a few
times because I thought
I was judging unfairly.
But after the fourth or
fifth look, I decided I
definitely don’t like it
and I shouldn’t have to
explain myself to
anyone.
33. Giuliana Rancic
On the bright side, I’m
okay with the general
shape of this dress,
although I think it’s too
long. I don’t like the
viney things winding their
way up the dress. It
looks like a school craft
project. And her makeup
is way too heavy.
34. Julie Bowen
No complaints. Apparently
‘Modern Family’ isn’t
winning awards anymore,
so the stars are taking a
low-key approach on the
red carpet. It’s working out
quite well for Julie Bowen,
because she looks best
when she plays it safe.
35. Carice Van
Houten
I like this. It might be a
bit bridal, or even
mother-of-the-bride,
but I like seeing
outerwear at formal
events (WHY NOT?)
and I think she looks
chic. MAYBE the coat
should be a different
colour.
37. Demi Moore
I think Demi’s too old
for the top-knot, but
she looks pretty good
here considering she’s had
a rough few years.
38. Sunny Mabrey
This is actually pretty
lovely, but too casual for
the event. She needs a
chunky necklace, or a red
belt, or something.
I have no idea who she
is, so maybe it’s okay
that she looks slightly
underdressed.
39. Sibi Blazic
Sibi Blazic used to be
Winona Ryder’s assistant.
Who knew?
This is pretty. I do wish
it had a neutral lining,
not black.
46. Our Lady J
From the chin up she
looks really nice. Every
other aspect of her
outfit is weird, both
separately and together.
This looks like a
Grammys outfit.
47. Sola Bamis
I just hate this, and it’s not solely
because of the oversized yellow bow.
It’s also because of the formal
turtleneck and the unnecessarily
asymmetrical front.
48. Lori Petty
Obviously this is hideous, but I’m
reluctant to critique someone who is
so obviously critiquing Hollywood.
55. Eva Longoria
Eva Longoria came as a
sexy lizard.
The OTT makeup offends
me almost as much as
the transparent strips
that broadcast her total
lack of underwear.
57. Gwendoline Christie
If someone gave me 6 yards of baby
blue satin fabric and asked me to make
a dress with it, this is what I’d come
up with. Not
because I think it’s
a nice dress, but
because I can’t use
a sewing machine.
58. January Jones
My reaction to January’s
dress was one of pure
undiluted mirth.
If someone gave me 6
yards of seafoam blue
chiffon fabric and challenged
me to make a dress with it
- without using scissors or
a sewing machine - this is
what I’d come up with.
60. Christina Hendricks
Uuugh, nooo! Why does
she keep letting Christian
Siriano make her these
monstrous taffeta gowns?
They’re so matronly! She
looks like she’s been
upholstered.
61. Susan Sarandon
& Eve Amurri
There was a lot of debate
about Susan Sarandon’s
cleavage. I’d like to point
out that that’s not the
issue. There’s cleavage,
and then there’s wearing
nothing but a bra under
your blazer.
62. Julianne Moore
Oh boy. Look, on the bright
side, I actually like her in this
colour. On the
not-so-bright
side, the frock is
just awful, and it
doesn’t look any
better from the
back.
63. Sarah Silverman
Awful, awful. I haaaate
dresses that contort
women into awkward
positions and make it
difficult to move
naturally. This one
seems lopsided and it
looks like she’s about
to spill out the top.
64. Brie Larson
Thigh slit? Check. Silver
ropes securing a mock
belt? Check. Twisted
neckline? Check . Diagonal
cleavage-window? Check .
Orange climbing lanyard?
Check. Platform shoes?
Check.
I can confirm that all the
elements of crazy are
present and correct.
66. Tina Fey
Tina Fey is wearing…wait
for it…a COLOUR. And she
looks amazing! The frock
itself isn’t necessarily
memorable, but she
herself looks beautiful, and
I like to encourage good
behaviour.
67. Karsen Liotta
It’s okay, this is Ray
Liotta’s daughter, not
his girlfriend.
The dress is nothing
extraordinary, but I just
think she looks pretty
and timeless. The
daughters of famous
people usually turn out
like Kate Hudson.
68.
69. Naomi Watts
Naomi Watts, representing.
She always looks perfect,
and she knows what suits
her. The blue brings out
the colour of her eyes, and
I love the dark pink
lipstick.
70. Lily Rabe
I loved this. Others didn’t,
I gather. I just like seeing
things that are more ‘New
York Fashion Week’ than
‘Glitzy West Coast
Showbiz Event.’
It’s a classic silhouette and
the fit is perfect, so she
can afford to take a risk
with colour. I think it
paid off.
71. Laura Prepon
Admittedly, the dress
itself is nothing
extraordinary. But Laura
looks so ethereal here,
and the pale blush colour
looks so pretty with her
dark hair, that she’s
landing somewhere in my
top ten (ish).
73. Hannah Murray
Others hated this, but I
think it’s a really sweet,
effortless look for a young
starlet, especially with
her auburn hair. I admire
people who don’t look like
they’ve tried too hard to
impress.
74. Priyanka Chopra
This was a contentious one,
too. Some people thought it
was bridesmaidy, and maybe
they’re right. But it looks so
Bollywood on Priyanka.
I just think
people with her
colouring can get
away with lolly-
pinks, especially
with that
amazing lipstick.
75. Annie Parisse
Okay, this is kind of out of
left-field. Up close, it does
have weird clusters of
sequins in places, and maybe
it shouldn’t be in this
category.
But I love the autumn leaf
pattern and I just think the
dress is unusual and striking
and looks beautiful with her
colouring and I would
probably wear it, the end.
76. Marissa Tomei
This is one of my absolute
favourites of the night.
The colour is divine, it
drapes beautifully, and it
looks comfortable. It’s the
perfect counterpoint to
the corseted body-con
strapless fishtail
monstrosities that I hate.
77. Kiernan Shipka
I love this. It’s probably a
tie with Marissa Tomei
for my favourite look of
the evening. It’s hard to
gauge the colour/pattern
in this pic, but I just
thought it was a lovely
photo.
78. Close-up of the
fabric. I love the
plum background
with that pale
silvery blue colour.
I’d like cushions in
this . And wallpaper.
