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BULLYINGBULLYING
Det. Andrew PaleseDet. Andrew Palese
Delaware State PoliceDelaware State Police
SROSRO
The GoldenThe Golden
RuleRule
““Treat others the way you wantTreat others the way you want
to be treated”to be treated”
VideoVideo
Bullying DefinitionBullying Definition
• Behavior that is intentional, hurtful andBehavior that is intentional, hurtful and
repeated by one or more persons.repeated by one or more persons.
• Bullied students are teased, harassed, andBullied students are teased, harassed, and
assaulted verbally or physically.assaulted verbally or physically.
Did you know?Did you know?
• The word “The word “BullyBully” use to mean the” use to mean the
total opposite of what it means now.total opposite of what it means now.
• Five hundred years ago, it meantFive hundred years ago, it meant
friend, family member or sweetheart.friend, family member or sweetheart.
Two Types of BullyingTwo Types of Bullying
• DirectDirect
• IndirectIndirect
DirectDirect
• PhysicalPhysical –– hitting, kicking, pushing,hitting, kicking, pushing,
stealing, hiding or ruiningstealing, hiding or ruining
someone’s things.someone’s things.
Making someone do something theyMaking someone do something they
don’t want to do.don’t want to do.
• VerbalVerbal –– name calling, teasing,name calling, teasing,
insulting, threats.insulting, threats.
IndirectIndirect
• Relationship BullyingRelationship Bullying ––
gossiping, spreading rumors andgossiping, spreading rumors and
lies about someone.lies about someone.
• Making someone feel left out orMaking someone feel left out or
rejected.rejected.
Bullying can be...Bullying can be...
• One person making fun of another.One person making fun of another.
• One person trying to beat upOne person trying to beat up
another.another.
• A group of people ganging upA group of people ganging up
against others.against others.
Bullying – You Decide?Bullying – You Decide?
• Jennifer recently broke up withJennifer recently broke up with
her boyfriend Andrew. Andrewher boyfriend Andrew. Andrew
is now dating Melissa. Jenniferis now dating Melissa. Jennifer
convinces all of her friends not toconvinces all of her friends not to
speak or hang out with Melissaspeak or hang out with Melissa
anymore. Is this bullying?anymore. Is this bullying?
Bullying – You DecideBullying – You Decide
• When John walks in the hallwayWhen John walks in the hallway
to his class, Chris repeatedlyto his class, Chris repeatedly
knocks his books out of his handknocks his books out of his hand
everyday. Is this bullying?everyday. Is this bullying?
How does it make youHow does it make you
feel?feel?
Does it have to be aDoes it have to be a
part of growing up?part of growing up?
NoNo
• Each and every person has theEach and every person has the
right to feel safe in school and inright to feel safe in school and in
life.life.
Characteristics of aCharacteristics of a
BullyBully
• Excited by their bullying behaviorExcited by their bullying behavior
• Enjoy feelings of power and controlEnjoy feelings of power and control
• Enjoy causing painEnjoy causing pain
• Can be a below average, average or aboveCan be a below average, average or above
average studentaverage student
• Lack compassion and empathy for their targetsLack compassion and empathy for their targets
• Can be all shapes and sizesCan be all shapes and sizes
Who is aWho is a
Target?Target?
ReasonsReasons
• Doesn’t fit inDoesn’t fit in
• Physically weakPhysically weak
• MinorityMinority
• Facial appearanceFacial appearance
• ClothingClothing
• EmotionalEmotional
• OverweightOverweight
• Good gradesGood grades
ReasonsReasons
• If you usually are alone and don't haveIf you usually are alone and don't have
many friends.many friends.
• If you don't have a lot of confidence andIf you don't have a lot of confidence and
don't stand up for yourselfdon't stand up for yourself..
Ways to avoid futureWays to avoid future
bullyingbullying
• Don’t bring expensive things or money to schoolDon’t bring expensive things or money to school
• Hang out with friendsHang out with friends
• Avoid unsupervised areasAvoid unsupervised areas
• Sit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with a teacher to classSit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with a teacher to class
• Don’t walk alone and avoid places where bullying occursDon’t walk alone and avoid places where bullying occurs
• Get funnyGet funny
• Don’t act scaredDon’t act scared
““No one can make you feel inferior without yourNo one can make you feel inferior without your
consent”. – Eleanor Rooseveltconsent”. – Eleanor Roosevelt
Report, Report,Report, Report,
ReportReport
• Report it to a trustedReport it to a trusted
adult immediatelyadult immediately
• BE A HEROBE A HERO
BystandersBystanders
Part of the problem not the solution
Be a HeroBe a Hero
• Encourage other bystanders to help stop
the bullying incident by being assertive.
• Make friends with someone who
continually gets picked on.
• Report it or send someone to a trusted
adult.
• You are a key player in stopping bullying.
Report vs TattlingReport vs Tattling
• Tattling –– Is trying to get someone inIs trying to get someone in
trouble.trouble.
• Reporting –– When you report bullying youWhen you report bullying you
are helping someone else.are helping someone else.
ReasonsReasons
• The bully is someone others look upThe bully is someone others look up
to and want to hang out with.to and want to hang out with.
• They want to “side” with the bullyThey want to “side” with the bully
because it makes them feel strong.because it makes them feel strong.
• They’re entertained by the bullyingThey’re entertained by the bullying..
ReasonsReasons
• They don’t think speaking upThey don’t think speaking up
will help.will help.
• They’re afraid that if they sayThey’re afraid that if they say
something, the bully will turn onsomething, the bully will turn on
themthem..
Some things you can say if someone isSome things you can say if someone is
getting bullied.getting bullied.
Ask Yourself TheseAsk Yourself These
QuestionsQuestions
• Does it make you feel better to hurt otherDoes it make you feel better to hurt other
people or take their things?people or take their things?
• Are you bigger and stronger than otherAre you bigger and stronger than other
people your age?people your age?
• Do you sometimes use your size andDo you sometimes use your size and
strength to get your way?strength to get your way?
• Have you been bullied by someone in theHave you been bullied by someone in the
past and feel like you have to make up forpast and feel like you have to make up for
doing the same thing to others?doing the same thing to others?
• Do you avoid thinking about how otherDo you avoid thinking about how other
people might feel if you say or do hurtfulpeople might feel if you say or do hurtful
things to them?things to them?
Ask Yourself These QuestionsAsk Yourself These Questions
If you are a bully, hereIf you are a bully, here
are some ways to stopare some ways to stop
• Apologize to people that you haveApologize to people that you have
bullied, and follow it up by beingbullied, and follow it up by being
friendly.friendly.
• They might not trust you right away,They might not trust you right away,
but eventually they will see that youbut eventually they will see that you
have changed.have changed.
More ways toMore ways to
• If you are having a hard time feelingIf you are having a hard time feeling
good about yourself, explore ways togood about yourself, explore ways to
boost your self-esteem. (Sports)boost your self-esteem. (Sports)
• If you feel like you’re having troubleIf you feel like you’re having trouble
controlling your feelings, especiallycontrolling your feelings, especially
anger, talk to a school counselor about it.anger, talk to a school counselor about it.
The GoldenThe Golden
RuleRule
““Treat others the wayTreat others the way
you want to beyou want to be
treated”treated”
VideoVideo
Bullying 1

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Bullying 1

  • 1. BULLYINGBULLYING Det. Andrew PaleseDet. Andrew Palese Delaware State PoliceDelaware State Police SROSRO
  • 2. The GoldenThe Golden RuleRule ““Treat others the way you wantTreat others the way you want to be treated”to be treated”
  • 4. Bullying DefinitionBullying Definition • Behavior that is intentional, hurtful andBehavior that is intentional, hurtful and repeated by one or more persons.repeated by one or more persons. • Bullied students are teased, harassed, andBullied students are teased, harassed, and assaulted verbally or physically.assaulted verbally or physically.
  • 5. Did you know?Did you know? • The word “The word “BullyBully” use to mean the” use to mean the total opposite of what it means now.total opposite of what it means now. • Five hundred years ago, it meantFive hundred years ago, it meant friend, family member or sweetheart.friend, family member or sweetheart.
  • 6. Two Types of BullyingTwo Types of Bullying • DirectDirect • IndirectIndirect
  • 7. DirectDirect • PhysicalPhysical –– hitting, kicking, pushing,hitting, kicking, pushing, stealing, hiding or ruiningstealing, hiding or ruining someone’s things.someone’s things. Making someone do something theyMaking someone do something they don’t want to do.don’t want to do. • VerbalVerbal –– name calling, teasing,name calling, teasing, insulting, threats.insulting, threats.
  • 8. IndirectIndirect • Relationship BullyingRelationship Bullying –– gossiping, spreading rumors andgossiping, spreading rumors and lies about someone.lies about someone. • Making someone feel left out orMaking someone feel left out or rejected.rejected.
  • 9. Bullying can be...Bullying can be... • One person making fun of another.One person making fun of another. • One person trying to beat upOne person trying to beat up another.another. • A group of people ganging upA group of people ganging up against others.against others.
  • 10. Bullying – You Decide?Bullying – You Decide? • Jennifer recently broke up withJennifer recently broke up with her boyfriend Andrew. Andrewher boyfriend Andrew. Andrew is now dating Melissa. Jenniferis now dating Melissa. Jennifer convinces all of her friends not toconvinces all of her friends not to speak or hang out with Melissaspeak or hang out with Melissa anymore. Is this bullying?anymore. Is this bullying?
  • 11. Bullying – You DecideBullying – You Decide • When John walks in the hallwayWhen John walks in the hallway to his class, Chris repeatedlyto his class, Chris repeatedly knocks his books out of his handknocks his books out of his hand everyday. Is this bullying?everyday. Is this bullying?
  • 12. How does it make youHow does it make you feel?feel?
  • 13. Does it have to be aDoes it have to be a part of growing up?part of growing up? NoNo • Each and every person has theEach and every person has the right to feel safe in school and inright to feel safe in school and in life.life.
  • 14.
  • 15. Characteristics of aCharacteristics of a BullyBully • Excited by their bullying behaviorExcited by their bullying behavior • Enjoy feelings of power and controlEnjoy feelings of power and control • Enjoy causing painEnjoy causing pain • Can be a below average, average or aboveCan be a below average, average or above average studentaverage student • Lack compassion and empathy for their targetsLack compassion and empathy for their targets • Can be all shapes and sizesCan be all shapes and sizes
  • 16. Who is aWho is a Target?Target?
  • 17. ReasonsReasons • Doesn’t fit inDoesn’t fit in • Physically weakPhysically weak • MinorityMinority • Facial appearanceFacial appearance • ClothingClothing • EmotionalEmotional • OverweightOverweight • Good gradesGood grades
  • 18. ReasonsReasons • If you usually are alone and don't haveIf you usually are alone and don't have many friends.many friends. • If you don't have a lot of confidence andIf you don't have a lot of confidence and don't stand up for yourselfdon't stand up for yourself..
  • 19.
  • 20. Ways to avoid futureWays to avoid future bullyingbullying • Don’t bring expensive things or money to schoolDon’t bring expensive things or money to school • Hang out with friendsHang out with friends • Avoid unsupervised areasAvoid unsupervised areas • Sit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with a teacher to classSit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with a teacher to class • Don’t walk alone and avoid places where bullying occursDon’t walk alone and avoid places where bullying occurs • Get funnyGet funny • Don’t act scaredDon’t act scared ““No one can make you feel inferior without yourNo one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. – Eleanor Rooseveltconsent”. – Eleanor Roosevelt
  • 21. Report, Report,Report, Report, ReportReport • Report it to a trustedReport it to a trusted adult immediatelyadult immediately • BE A HEROBE A HERO
  • 22. BystandersBystanders Part of the problem not the solution
  • 23. Be a HeroBe a Hero • Encourage other bystanders to help stop the bullying incident by being assertive. • Make friends with someone who continually gets picked on. • Report it or send someone to a trusted adult. • You are a key player in stopping bullying.
  • 24. Report vs TattlingReport vs Tattling • Tattling –– Is trying to get someone inIs trying to get someone in trouble.trouble. • Reporting –– When you report bullying youWhen you report bullying you are helping someone else.are helping someone else.
  • 25.
  • 26. ReasonsReasons • The bully is someone others look upThe bully is someone others look up to and want to hang out with.to and want to hang out with. • They want to “side” with the bullyThey want to “side” with the bully because it makes them feel strong.because it makes them feel strong. • They’re entertained by the bullyingThey’re entertained by the bullying..
  • 27. ReasonsReasons • They don’t think speaking upThey don’t think speaking up will help.will help. • They’re afraid that if they sayThey’re afraid that if they say something, the bully will turn onsomething, the bully will turn on themthem..
  • 28. Some things you can say if someone isSome things you can say if someone is getting bullied.getting bullied.
  • 29.
  • 30. Ask Yourself TheseAsk Yourself These QuestionsQuestions • Does it make you feel better to hurt otherDoes it make you feel better to hurt other people or take their things?people or take their things? • Are you bigger and stronger than otherAre you bigger and stronger than other people your age?people your age? • Do you sometimes use your size andDo you sometimes use your size and strength to get your way?strength to get your way?
  • 31. • Have you been bullied by someone in theHave you been bullied by someone in the past and feel like you have to make up forpast and feel like you have to make up for doing the same thing to others?doing the same thing to others? • Do you avoid thinking about how otherDo you avoid thinking about how other people might feel if you say or do hurtfulpeople might feel if you say or do hurtful things to them?things to them? Ask Yourself These QuestionsAsk Yourself These Questions
  • 32.
  • 33. If you are a bully, hereIf you are a bully, here are some ways to stopare some ways to stop • Apologize to people that you haveApologize to people that you have bullied, and follow it up by beingbullied, and follow it up by being friendly.friendly. • They might not trust you right away,They might not trust you right away, but eventually they will see that youbut eventually they will see that you have changed.have changed.
  • 34. More ways toMore ways to • If you are having a hard time feelingIf you are having a hard time feeling good about yourself, explore ways togood about yourself, explore ways to boost your self-esteem. (Sports)boost your self-esteem. (Sports) • If you feel like you’re having troubleIf you feel like you’re having trouble controlling your feelings, especiallycontrolling your feelings, especially anger, talk to a school counselor about it.anger, talk to a school counselor about it.
  • 35. The GoldenThe Golden RuleRule ““Treat others the wayTreat others the way you want to beyou want to be treated”treated”

Editor's Notes

  1. Ice breaking exercise – How does this make you feel? Not too good does it. Victims of bullying feel this same pain your are feeling right now. They deal with this on a day to day basis. It causes pain in their hearts that sometimes they just can’t withstand. Now, I am going to talk to you about bullying, the types of bullying, share a story of a student who was bullied, give you some strategies to deal with bullying. And before we all leave today we are all going to KNOW and FOLLOW the Golden Rule which is?.... “Treat others the way you want to be treated”.
  2. Anyone familiar with Forrest Gump. For you that don’t know Forrest, he was disabled and he wasn’t very smart. He was teased and bullied. (show clip from the Forrest Gump Movie (flashback to first day of school riding the bus, meeting Jenny for the first time, being chased by the bullies who were throwing rocks at him and chasing him on his bike). How does that make you feel? How do you think it makes Forrest feel? Good, bad, I know everyone in here does not like watching that type of behavior of those people bullying Forrest Gump. Because we all have GOOD HEARTS and were GOOD PEOPLE.
  3. Read definition. Look at the picture of this little girl here. Do you see them in the background. What do you think the other girls are doing? (talking bad about her), (excluding her from their group), (teasing her). Do you think these things are bullying. How do you think this girl feels? She is going to go home from school and be thinking about how she is going to deal with this for the entire school year. It’s not right. And there are students in this school that feel this same way. There are kids in this classroom that feel the same way. We need to stop and think about what were doing and “treat other people the way you want to be treated”.
  4. Pushing in the hallway, hiding someone’s food at the lunch table. Teasing someone about the way they look. Name calling. No one in here has the right to call anyone a name that is insulting or offensive. Like fat, ugly.
  5. Which one of these types of bullying do you think boys are involved in? Which one do you think girls are involved in? Boys tend to be more physical and girls value relationships more than boys. At one school there were these girls who thought they were these divas or the Royal 5 and they had this signup sheet for girls who wanted to sit with them at lunch. What happen was girls would sign up and they would pass the sign up sheet around to see who was rejected or not. This is mean and unacceptable and do you think this is the way those girls would want to be treated?
  6. Not only are these things wrong morally but they are also illegal. You can be arrested for touching, or hitting another person if that person says it was unwanted and he took offense to that hitting. Also, can be arrested for disorderly conduct.
  7. I have a couple of examples here that I want to read and I want to hear what you boys and girls think. (answer – yes it is social alienation or indirect bullying which we talked about earlier.
  8. (answer – Yes) What type of bullying is this? (Direct bullying – physical)
  9. We talked about the effects of bullying has on a person. These are just some of them but there are so many others that I can’t list here because there is not enough room. Depressed. This is a big problem among children and teenagers who are victims of being bullied. Anyone know what depressed means? (let students answer). Ok, now I am going to talk to you about a girl who was the victim of being bullied and her story.
  10. What type of people are not treating others like they want to be treated.
  11. There are certain characteristics in students that bully’s target.
  12. If you are being bullied you need to report it but when you are in the moment there are some things you can do. There are also some things you can do to try an avoid becoming a target.
  13. The most important thing you can do to stop bullying is report, report, report.
  14. Bystanders are part of the problem not the solution.