work

1. Article edits
 Removed first 4 lines from second paragraph - it felt repeated from first
paragraph
 Removed ‘reviving your sexy.’ – it didn’t specify what
 Removed ‘and’ from ‘hair and nails’ – needed a comma instead
 Added ‘and’ between ‘nails’ and ‘upping’ – it wouldn’t have made sense
with a comma
 Replaced ‘morning breath,’ with ‘Morning breath is’ – it made more sense
 Moved ‘the messy bedhead can be seen as sexy and slid back under the
duvet.’ – it made more sense to have it after the part about bad breath.
 Replaced ‘sexy,’ with ‘sexy.’ – it made more sense to have that be the end
of the sentence
 Removed ‘a’ from ‘lower a high blood pressure’ – incorrect grammar
 Removed the part about PMS – it made the article only for women instead
of gender neutral
 Changed ‘that guy you like a lot clearer.’ to ‘the equipment much clearer.’
– I felt it was unnecessary
 Removed ‘and for those of you who are not biology experts, this is’ – I felt
that is wasn’t needed
 Removed ‘defiantly’ from ‘(you defiantly won’t look 80 either)’ – you can’t
guarantee that would happen
 Removed the first 10 lines from the third paragraph – they felt like they
were trying to spread fear about eating meat
 Removed ‘It doesn’t take a biology degree to know what you should and
should not be putting into your body.’ – It isn’t needed or necessary
 Removed ‘making you smell like that Victoria’s Secret model you’ve
always wanted to be.’ – it’s gender specific rather then gender neutral
 Removed ‘tea’ from ‘Green tea’ – it didn’t need it
 Changed ‘so wish’ to ‘want’ – one word that gives the same meaning
 Removed ‘A lifestyle’ and added in ‘from your diet’ – it made more sense
to me
 Lowered a few sentences onto other lines to keep up with the style of
writing
 Changed ‘bikini’ to ‘beach’ – more gender neutral
Fact checking
 Changed 8 million to 10 million – the amount could have gone up since
this was written
 Changed ‘commonly occurs at approximately the age of 60.’ to ‘occurs
over the age of 60, approximately.’ – more medical sites say it occurs over
60 rather then at 60