Name: Jiahang This is the grade you would receive if you did not make any revisions to your synthesis paper. You have until April 3 to make all the revisions suggested in the rubric and in the comments posted in the text of your essay. Content: 30 points 6 (10) The student shows thorough understanding of the effects of modern collaboration 6 (10) The student shows ability to think critically 6 (10) The student seems to have gained new knowledge about globalization through this writing assignment (evidenced by number of citations) 18 Score Effectiveness of writing: 30 points 2 (3) The introduction catches the reader’s interest   2 (3) The introduction appropriately introduces the topic  1 (3) The main point of the essay is clear   1 (3) The main idea of each paragraph is clear  2 (3) All claims are supported with convincing evidence  1 (3) The essay concludes effectively  1 (3) The essay is well organized  1 (3) The ideas in the essay are easy to follow  2 (3) The topic is covered thoroughly   2 (3) The arguments are logical  15 Score Incorporation of Sources: 10 points 1 (3) Outside sources are quoted, summarized, or paraphrased appropriately  1 (3) Outside sources are integrated into the essay appropriately  1 (2) In-text citations are properly formatted  0 (2) Reference list is formatted properly  3 Score Sophistication and language: 10 points 4 (4) The essay contains a mixture of sentence structures (simple, compound, complex)  3 (3) The essay contains advanced vocabulary  3 (3) Formal writing is used 10 Score Grammar, mechanics, and format: 20 points 1 (2) There are no major grammatical mistakes that leads to incomprehensibility 2 (3) The essay is easy to read because it does not contain many grammatical errors 3 (3) There are minimal errors in subject/verb agreement 4 (3) There are minimal errors in verb tense form 3 (3) There are minimal errors in part of speech 3 (3) There are minimal errors in mechanics (capitalization, spelling, paragraph indentation, punctuation, fragmented and run-on sentences)
 2 (3) The essay is formatted according to standard conventions (title, name, date, etc.) 18 Score 64 Total I believe that you are using the wrong approach when you are writing this essay. It seems like your focus was on using a lot of advanced vocabulary. However, much of the essay did not make sense, as it was groups of beautiful sounding phrases that did not make sense when put together. When re writing this essay, I would first make an outline of what you want to say. I would write this outline using the simplest English you possibly can, and focusing on making sure your ideas connect clearly to each other. When you actually start to write your essay from this outline, focus on clear and direct topic sentences that either describe your definition of modern collaboration, or clearly indicate what benefit or disadvantage you will be talking about in the paragraph. You should also make sure that each paragraph ends with a direct conclusi.

1. Name: Jiahang
This is the grade you would receive if you did not make any
revisions to your synthesis paper. You have until April 3 to
make all the revisions suggested in the rubric and in the
comments posted in the text of your essay.
Content: 30 points
6
(10) The student shows thorough understanding of the effects of
modern collaboration
6
(10) The student shows ability to think critically
6
(10) The student seems to have gained new knowledge about
globalization through this writing assignment (evidenced by
number of citations)
18
Score
Effectiveness of writing: 30 points
2
(3) The introduction catches the reader’s interest
2
(3) The introduction appropriately introduces the topic
1
(3) The main point of the essay is clear
1
(3) The main idea of each paragraph is clear
2
(3) All claims are supported with convincing evidence
1
(3) The essay concludes effectively
1
(3) The essay is well organized
1
(3) The ideas in the essay are easy to follow

2. 2
(3) The topic is covered thoroughly
2
(3) The arguments are logical
15
Score
Incorporation of Sources: 10 points
1
(3) Outside sources are quoted, summarized, or paraphrased
appropriately
1
(3) Outside sources are integrated into the essay appropriately
1
(2) In-text citations are properly formatted
0
(2) Reference list is formatted properly
3
Score
Sophistication and language: 10 points
4
(4) The essay contains a mixture of sentence structures (simple,
compound, complex)
3
(3) The essay contains advanced vocabulary
3
(3) Formal writing is used
10
Score
Grammar, mechanics, and format: 20 points
1
(2) There are no major grammatical mistakes that leads to
incomprehensibility
2
(3) The essay is easy to read because it does not contain many
grammatical errors
3

3. (3) There are minimal errors in subject/verb agreement
4
(3) There are minimal errors in verb tense form
3
(3) There are minimal errors in part of speech
3
(3) There are minimal errors in mechanics (capitalization,
spelling, paragraph indentation, punctuation, fragmented and
run-on sentences)
2
(3) The essay is formatted according to standard conventions
(title, name, date, etc.)
18
Score
64
Total
I believe that you are using the wrong approach when you are
writing this essay. It seems like your focus was on using a lot of
advanced vocabulary. However, much of the essay did not make
sense, as it was groups of beautiful sounding phrases that did
not make sense when put together.
When re writing this essay, I would first make an outline of
what you want to say. I would write this outline using the
simplest English you possibly can, and focusing on making sure
your ideas connect clearly to each other. When you actually
start to write your essay from this outline, focus on clear and
direct topic sentences that either describe your definition of
modern collaboration, or clearly indicate what benefit or
disadvantage you will be talking about in the paragraph. You
should also make sure that each paragraph ends with a direct
conclusion sentence that clearly and succinctly summarizes
what you have said in the paragraph.
The fact that you did not include a reference list makes me
unable to look at your references. However, looking at your
writing, my guess is that there was a lot in your references that
you did not understand. If you do not understand an idea in an

4. outside source, it is a bad practice to try to talk about it in your
essay. If you do not understand the idea yourself, your
explanation of the idea will never be clear to other readers. If
you do not understand an idea, it would be better to find another
source or another idea from the source to use in your essay.
Jiahang Lyu
MODERN COLLABORATION
The modern communication can take place via face to face or
even across vast distance utilizing a range of communication
tools. This can take place across school-day and at each level of
schooling which include amongst administrators, with teachers
and the administrators, between teachers, amongst each of the
above mentioned alongside students, as well as amongst
students themselves. The modern communication features
students always want to come up together to do the take-home
assignments together even if they are warned not to collude as
was reflected in Harvard School where nearly one hundred
students had colluded in mathematics assignment. Another
common feature of modern collaboration is the increased use of
communication tools or technologies to communicate and
collaborate across a vast distance. Today, various
communication tools are available for both teachers and
students to collaborate between themselves and across
themselves. These communication technologies are making
collaboration easy and they are increasingly eroding the face to
face collaboration.
Where collaboration works effectively, it can lead to something
better than what a person can produce alone. This is because the
synergies arise when people mix insights alongside worldviews
to develop novel ideas and such ideas become exciting and
enlightening. Thus, productive collaboration occurring in face-
to-face meetings or across a far distance utilizing a range of
tools for communication.
One of the positive effects of modern collaboration between
teacher-educators in United States Southwest alongside in

5. Southern Africa, for instance, is the importance of initiatives of
cross-culture that assist beginning literacies teachers to learn
how they can effectively employ the participatory
methodological approaches to disturb conventional teacher-
student hierarchy hence capitalizing on domestic resources and
knowledge. Moreover, operating in such a hybrid space is
positive since it helps the forefront building of a relationship as
a vital element of novel teachers’ emergent practice (Rebecca,
2012).
Another positive effect of modern collaboration is that it
accords the students of a mechanism by which to outgrow their
present capacities and take on novel identities as learners.
Indeed, such a modern collaboration allows students to craft
scenarios with the potentials of challenging oppressive language
ideologies. The modern collaboration between teacher and
student remains positive since it allows us to make choices that
permit him or her to construct as well as communicate findings
that stand meaningful to him and the community. Indeed,
modern collaboration embraces international co-teaching
relationships which foster the critical language awareness of
students as well as strengthening relationships with the
classroom community (Salerno, 2013).
Another positive effect of modern collaboration is that it leads
to desirable theories alongside practice synergy which arise
whenever school and university personnel effectively
collaborate and with their students. Indeed, modern
collaboration helps results in co-author classroom teachers
engaging in improvisational teaching which supports their
secondary learners’ developing desired insights regarding
communities’ racial injustices. This is because the teachers
collaborate to entrench literacies strategies into middle school
learners’ study of utmost latest United States presidential
election to develop academic discourse via literacies which
create desirable circumstances for literate involvement,
learning, teaching, as well as acting in the globe. Modern
collaboration also has positive effects in that it helps travel with

6. integrities as face to face teacher professional leaner is
translated to virtual and mixed spaces. This is important since it
helps maintain collaboration with professional development
which involve online spaces in leading literacy change
department. A teacher-student collaboration help positively
supports the development of student’s literacy. The modern
collaboration leads to novel synergistic meanings which might
be developed in collaborative environments. The novel insights
acquired when collaborations remain balanced and generative
make struggles thereby gaining an equal footing on playing
grounds worth the attempt. This is positive since modern
collaboration help appreciate what each player contributes.
One of the negative effects of modern collaboration is that it
leads to cheating scandals amongst the students who collaborate
due to the takeaway assignments. This was demonstrated in the
Harvard cheating scandal whereby students were given take-
home exams in a mathematics class during the Spring 2012 term
course on “Introduction to Congress. The 279 students colluded
and collaborated to produce similar responses to the questions
which were a clear manifestation of having collaborated despite
being instructed never to collaborate. This led to the suspension
of 60 students and another 40 students receiving probation.
Thus, modern collaboration negatively promotes cheating
amongst the student which makes the student's ability not to be
appraised correctly and even led to the implication of students.
Thus, modern collaboration ultimately hurt the students. Thus,
such collaboration beats the main valuable aim of giving take-
home assignments which remain useful testing and teaching
tools (Manjoo, 2012).
Another negative effect of collaboration is that the students’
collaborative work increasingly makes it quite challenging for
their teachers to assess their performances. This is because
several people’s responses will sound identical, and this makes
instructors unable to determine who comprehended the work and
who was just free-riding. Thus, this negatively makes it hard for
the Universities with predominant interests to measure each

7. learner’s grasp of the class material when given take-home
assignments. The negative effect also arises from the fact that
students use online collaboration and hence talk about the
exams with their friends which is indeed cheating.
Even though collaboration is a creative approach that should
always be encouraged, there is a need to emphasize that only
when such modern collaboration is used wisely and avoid
cheating when warned by teachers. However, when the
collaboration is misused by students even in doing take-home
assignments which are intended to test individual performances,
the collaboration will be at the very intension of such
assignments as it will be difficult to assess who understood the
class materials and those are merely joy-riding (Kelly,&
Kathleen, 2019).
Synthesis Essay Assignment:
Complete rough draft due date: Monday March 23
Final Draft Due (tentative): Friday April 3
Grade value of assignment: 100 points
Suggested length of assignment: 1000-1500 (not including
reference page)
Format requirements: double spaced, font size 12, 1 in. margins
Assignment description: For this assignment, you will write an
essay on the topic of collaboration in the modern world.
Please explain what modern collaboration looks like and
evaluate the effects of modern collaboration (positive or
negative).

8. The purpose of the essay is:
· to show your comprehension of class readings
· to identify effects of modern collaboration
· to support your evaluation of these effects
You must incorporate at least three class readings and one
reading from your own research into your paper.
Writing skills to practice: ability to1) synthesize readings,
2)cite and reference sources appropriately, 3) paraphrase and
summarize appropriately, 4) write cohesively, 5) write in formal
language, 6) use cause/effect transition words accurately, 5)
self-edit writing
Grading criteria:
Your essay will be graded on the criteria on the back of this
page (out of 100 pts total):
Essay Rubric
Content: /30 points
The student shows thorough understanding of the effects of
modern collaboration
The student shows ability to think critically
The student seems to have gained new knowledge about modern
collaboration through this writing assignment (evidenced by
number of citations)
Effectiveness of writing: /30 points

9. The introduction catches the reader’s interest
The introduction appropriately introduces the topic
The main point of the essay is clear
The main idea of each paragraph is clear
All claims are supported with convincing evidence
The essay concludes effectively
The essay is well organized
The ideas in the essay are easy to follow
The topic is covered thoroughly
The arguments are logical
Incorporation of Sources: /10
Outside sources are quoted, summarized, or paraphrased
appropriately
Outside sources are integrated into the essay appropriately
In-text citations are properly formatted
Reference list is formatted properly
Sophistication/language: /10
The essay contains a mixture of sentence structures (simple,
compound, complex)

10. The essay contains advanced vocabulary
Formal writing is used
Grammar, mechanics, and format: /20
There are no major grammatical mistakes that leads to
incomprehensibility
The essay is easy to read because it does not contain many
grammatical errors
There are minimal errors in subject/verb agreement
There are minimal errors in verb tense form
There are minimal errors in part of speech
There are minimal errors in mechanics (capitalization, spelling,
paragraph indentation, punctuation, fragmented and run-on
sentences)
The essay is formatted according to standard conventions (title,
name, date, etc.)