7. www.skillbridge.in
Leadership
Communication
PersonalityDevelopment
OVERCOMING NEGATIVE
EMOTIONS…
1. Acknowledged achievements
2. Accept and recognize feelings
as valid and never contradicts
them
3. Do not belittles positive
characteristics and points out
flaws in others
4. Be willing to compromise on
opinions and views
SUPERIORITY COMPLEX INFERIORITY COMPLEX
Stop associating with all those who
make you feel small, inadequate
or insecure.
Know your limitations and the extent
of your abilities
Refuse to serve as a mat for others
to walk upon.
Find out what you do best, work
diligently at it until you excel at it
12. www.skillbridge.in
Leadership
Communication
PersonalityDevelopment MAKE YOUR LIFE 100%
Let each letter of the alphabetic has a value equals to it sequence
of the alphabetical order:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 1011121314151617181920212223242526
S K I L L S
19 11 9 12 12 19
K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5
H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5
=
=
=
=
82
96
98
100
13. www.skillbridge.in
Leadership
Communication
PersonalityDevelopment THE CAN DO ATTITUDE
• You CAN DO everything, but not all at once.
• You CAN DO everything, if it’s important enough
for you to do.
• You CAN DO everything, but you may not be the
best at everything.
• You CAN DO everything, but there will be
limitations.
• You CAN DO everything, but you’ll need help.
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Leadership
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HOW TO INCREASE SELF
CONFIDENCE
Think positively about yourself.
Set realistic goals
Reward/praise yourself when you DO well.
Be aware of your thoughts.
Think logically about the situation, DON’T react
Dwell on your strengths.
Do not attribute your achievement and accomplishments
only to luck. Give yourself credit for your own
personal achievement.
Learn to be assertive.
21. www.skillbridge.in
Leadership
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PersonalityDevelopment
HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
BE HONEST AND DIRECT
ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS,
NEEDS, BELIEFS.
EXPRESS YOURSELF
FIRMLY AND DIRECTLY TO
SPECIFIC INDIVIDUALS.
BE REASONABLE IN YOUR
REQUESTS
REGOGNIZE AND
RESPECT THE RIGHTS OF
THOSE AROUND YOU.
BE AWARE OF BODY
POSTURE/LANGUAGE
MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT.
USE “I” STATEMENTS TO
EXPRESS SELF
DON’T LET OTHERS IMPOSE
THEIR VALUES/IDEAS ON YOU
ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO BE
CLEAR AND DIRECT
TAKE OWNERSHIP
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Leadership
Communication
PersonalityDevelopment
A Strength is your
core capability. An
advantage over that
you have others
A Weakness is
others having core
capability over you.
An Opportunity is an
environmental
condition that can
improve your
position to that of
others.
A Threat is a
forecast of condition
that is out of your
control and has the
potential to harm
your growth path.
29. www.skillbridge.in
Leadership
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PersonalityDevelopment
Where are You?
20% people feel they are short
of time. They feel so concerned that
they self find answers to Time Mgmt
10% people feel they are short
of time. They realise this and
are keen to get help and see
how they can improve Time Mgmt
70% people feel they are not short
of time. Though they don’t mind
listening to someone. And then
tell him why all that is impractical
The following are the ten (10) major requirements toward the development of a FINE personality: 1) KINDNESS 2) CLEANLINESS OF BOTH MIND AND BODY 3) UNSELFISHNESS 4) GOOD DISPOSITION 5) OBEDIENCE TO IDEALS AND PRINCIPLES 6) HONESTY IN ALL THINGS 7) TRUTHFULNESS 8) LOYALTY 9) RELIGION OR SPIRITUALITY 10) GOOD HEALTH
Taking small steps This is good for fear that can seem overwhelming at first. For instance the strong feeling – it can almost feel like a flight or fight-response – just before doing public speaking or asking someone out for a date. If you´re for instance nervous socially you might not feel able to ask people out on dates right away. The fear of being rejected and that others might think less of you if you get turned down can make many of us feel unable to ask the question. A solution is to take small steps instead. Steps like first just saying hi to people. Or starting to talk more to people online via forums and Instant Messaging. And then trying to be more involved in conversations to exercise your conversation-muscles. I guess one could say that you gradually de-sensitize yourself to social situations or whatever you are afraid of. Or, seeing it in a more motivating way, building courage and expanding your comfort zone in this part of your life (which is something that often bleeds over to other areas of life too.) So, identify your fear. Then make a plan with some smaller steps you can take to gradually lessen your discomfort. 2. Getting some concrete, positive motivation Getting to the stage where you really feel that you need to stop waiting – or need stop reading one personal development book after another – and take action can take some time. One way to get moving is to replace some of your negative thoughts – that creates negative feelings – with clear, positive reasons to get going. Take 5 minutes. Take out a pice of paper and a pen. And write down all the wonderful ways you can come up with how making this change will improve your life. Lack of motivation can get you stuck while contemplating how much your life sucks. If you don´t become clear on you motivation it can become hard to get going and knowing why you are actually need to change. Writing down all the wonderful things you will gain in your life by overcoming this fear can be powerful. Focus on those positive things to get motivated and inspired. Revisit your page of paper when you feel discouraged, uncomfortable or afraid. Even if it loses it´s inspiring effect gradually, it can be the initial trigger to unstick you. The spark to get you started to take those first actions that sends you into an upward-spiral of thought and action. 3. Seeing failure and rejection in a new light Often it´s easier to not do something because we fear failure and rejection. We may fear failure when starting on a new career-path. And rejection from friends, family and the people around us if we fail. Or we might be afraid of being rejected when asking someone out. However, as I have written before, the definition of failure we are brought up with in society might not be the best and most useful to have. If you look at the most successful people you quickly notice that they have a different response to failure than the more common one. They don´t take failure or rejection that seriously. They know it´s not the end of the world if they fail. Instead they look at each failure and see the good part about: what they can learn from it and improve next time. They have an abundance-mentality. They know that if their first business-venture fails it feels like crap for a while but it´s ok in the long run. They learn from it and then they try again. If they are rejected for date, do they give up? Probably not. They know that next week or the week after they might find someone else that´s interesting and ask them out. They know that there are a lot of good people out there. That there are a lot of good business opportunities out there. But they have also learned that to become successful at anything you have to fail perhaps 5, 10, 20 times or more. The morning of day when you learned to ride a bike you fell of it time and time again. But you just brushed yourself of, perhaps cried for minutes or two and then you got up on the bike again. And towards the afternoon, or the next day, you probably started to become pretty good at riding your bike. The same applies here. You have work on your skills to sharpen them. See failure or rejection not as something incredible negative that might end your life if it strikes. Redefine it in your mind to lessen the negative emotional impact and the fear. See failure simply as feedback on what you need to improve on. Listen to the advice the failure gives you and you will improve. And success will come. If you fear what other may think about you if you fail, take a look at Why you should not compare yourself to others for some thoughts on the need for validation from others. 4. Being in the now What this means is to keep yourself steadily in the now. Not letting your thoughts and emotions run away to the future or the past. That doesn´t mean that you don´t make plans, of course. You might think about asking someone out. You make plans on when to do it or perhaps what to say. But being in the now means to not getting your mind stuck in a kind of psychological and emotional headspace that is placed in the past or future. It means not dwelling on what has gone wrong before and what could go wrong tonight or tomorrow. Such thinking will only create and ramp up your fear to the point where you feel unable to do anything. And just feel like running away. Instead, make your plans. Then just be and don´t think about the future. Focus on the now and what needs to be done now. The future will be the now soon enough. And when you´re arrive there it will be much easier to get things done when you have created a minimal amount of stress and fear within your mind. Whenever you feel fear, your mind is often dragged into a hypothetical, future scenario where you think you might fail. Your brain is over-analyzing a possible situation, which leads for many of us, to a negative, downward spiral of thoughts. This expands and empowers your fear to the point where you become almost paralyzed. So, how do you beat the fear in such situations? You stop fighting. You surrender. How to surrender: Let me explain. By surrender, I don´t mean that you should give up and go home. Instead, when you feel fear then accept the feeling. Don´t try to fight it or to keep it out (like many of us have learned throughout life). Say yes to it. Surrender and let it in. Observe the feeling in your mind and body without labelling or judging it . If you let it in – for me the feeling then often seems physically locate itself to the middle of my chest – and just observe it for maybe a minute or two something wonderful happens. The feeling just vanishes. 1. One thing at a time . This is the simplest and best way to start reducing your stress, and you can start today. Right now. Focus as much as possible on doing one thing at a time. Clear your desk of distractions. Pick something to work on. Need to write a report? Do only that. Remove distractions such as phones and email notifications while you’re working on that report. If you’re going to do email, do only that. This takes practice, and you’ll get urges to do other things. Just keep practicing and you’ll get better at it. . 2. Simplify your schedule . A hectic schedule is a major cause of high stress. Simplify by reducing the number of commitments in your life to just the essential ones. Learn to say no to the rest — and slowly get out of commitments that aren’t beneficial to you. Schedule only a few important things each day, and put space between them. Get out of meetings when they aren’t absolutely essential. Leave room for down time and fun. . 3. Get moving . Do something each day to be active — walk, hike, play a sport, go for a run, do yoga. It doesn’t have to be grueling to reduce stress. Just move. Have fun doing it. . 4. Develop one healthy habit this month . Other than getting active, improving your health overall will help with the stress. But do it one habit at a time. Eat fruits and veggies for snacks. Floss every day. Quit smoking. Cook something healthy for dinner. Drink water instead of soda. One habit at a time. . 5. Do something calming . What do you enjoy that calms you down? For many people, it can be the “get moving” activity discussed above. But it could also be taking a nap, or a bath, or reading, or having sex (which can also be considered a “get moving” activity if you do it for longer than 5 minutes). Other people are calmed by housework or yard work. Some people like to meditate, or take a nature walk. Find your calming activity and try to do it each day. . 6. Simplify your finances . Finances can be a drain on your energy and a major stressor. If that’s true with you, figure out ways to simplify things. Automate savings and bill payments and debt payments. Spend less by going shopping (at malls or online) much less. Find ways to have fun that don’t involve spending money. . 7. Have a blast! Have fun each day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. I like to play with my kids — they take my mind off everything and are really hilarious. I also like to play sports (again, often with my kids). Board games are fun. Sex, again, can be a fun activity. Whatever you choose, be sure to laugh. . 8. Get creative . Throwing yourself into a creative activity is another great way to de-stress and to prevent stress. I like writing, but others like to paint or play music or sketch or make pottery or do interior design or build things. . 9. Declutter . This is a favorite of mine. I like to take 20-30 minutes and just go through a room, getting rid of stuff we don’t use or need anymore. I look around at anything that’s cluttering up a room, and get rid of it or find a better place for it. When I’m done, I have a nice, peaceful environment for work, play, and living. Do this a little at a time — it can be one of your “fun activities”. . 10. Be early . I will admit that it’s hard to be early when you have to get 6 kids ready (seriously — try it!). But being late can be very stressful. Try to leave earlier by getting ready earlier, or by scheduling more space between events. Things always take longer than normal, so schedule some buffer time: extra time to get ready, to commute, to do errands before you need to be somewhere, to attend a meeting before another scheduled appointment. If you get somewhere early, it’s good to have some reading material.
