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Polyamory’s Three Waves
This document summarizes the three waves of polyamory: The first wave began in the late 1960s-1970s and consisted of strict patriarchal communes like The Farm and Oneida Community that practiced forms of group marriage. The second wave emerged in the 1980s-1990s and was founded by feminist women who emphasized communication, boundaries, and dealing with jealousy. The third wave began in the 2000s, fueled by the internet and mainstream media, which presented polyamory as a normal relationship option with a focus on gender fluidity and challenging traditional relationship structures.
Polyamory’s Three Waves
- 1. Polyamory’s Three Waves LEANNAWOLFE, PHD SOCIETY FOR THE SCIENTIFIC STUDY OF SEXUALITY NOVEMBER 11, 2017
- 2. Traditional Polygamy One-thirdof the World’s Population 85% of the world cultures 84.5% Polygyny .05% Polyandry Resource-Based Wealthy Males could Afford Multiple Wives 15-20% of Males could afford to be Polygynous Males who shared a wife did so to prevent subdividing family farms Practices by Nymba of Tibet
- 3. First Wave Style:Patriarchal Polygyny Strict Rules for Social/Sexual Conformity Communal Living Income Sharing Reproduction Controlled Sterilization Rules for Sexual Reproduction Birthing Practices Communal Parenting
- 4. First Wave Patriarchs StephenGaskin, The Farm Jud, Kerista Commune John Humphrey Noyes, Oneida Community
- 5. The Oneida Community Founded by Perfectionist Preacher, John Humphrey Noyes 19th c. 500-person Group Marriage Coitus Reservatus Complex Marriage Banned Pair Bonding Ascending Fellowship Stirpiculture Breeding Program
- 6. The Farm Foundedin San Francisco in 1971 Relocated to Tennessee Vows of poverty Four Marriage System For those with “juice” and ability Spiritual Midwifery Ina May Gaskin 200 Aging Boomers Remain
- 7. The Kerista Commune SF based intentional community 25 years (early 70s -- mid-90s) Compersion (invented the word) no jealousy (Pines & Aronson, 1981) Polyfidelity Starling Brothers and Sisters B-FICs -- Best Friend Identity Clusters
- 8. “Polyamory” is Named MorningGlory Zell Ravenhart’s essay “Bouquet of Flowers” published in The Green Egg (1990) names the concept, “Poly- Amory” (fusing Greek and Latin)
- 9. Second Wave Feminism Founded by Women Focus on Communication Boundaries Transparency Incorporates Compersion Ideal Jealousy Inner Work NRE – New Relationship Energy Search for Unicorns Bi-Women to form a Triad with an Open M/F Couple
- 10. Second Wave Matriarchs DeborahAnapol and Ryam Nearing Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy
- 11. Second Wave Publications 19921992 1997
- 13. Second Wave Popularizers Janetand Sasha Lessin World Polyamory Association Chuy and Robyn Trask Loving More Serena Anderlini Ecosexuality
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- 16. Third Wave PolyGoes Mainstream Fueled by the Internet Mass Media Showtime TV Series Frequent Coverage as a News Feature Regarded as a “Thing” Simply another Relationship Option Solo Poly becomes an Identity Metamours Embraced! Relationship Escalator Challenged Relationship Anarchy Gender Fluidity Gender Non-Binary Celebrated
- 18. Polyamory: Married andDating
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- 21. Third Wave Popularizers PepperMint Cunning Minx Reid Milhalko
- 22. Third Wave Authors FranklinVeaux and Eve Rickert Tristan Taormino
- 23. Third Wave Babes DedekerWinston Kamala Devi
- 24. Third Wave Challenges Growing Pains No Longer Discreet Community of Special People Physical Appearance Matters Beautiful People Become Popularizers No Longer a Bastion for Geeks and Misfits A Relationship Choice Not just for those Seeking to Live in Integrity Less “Journey” to access Polyamory Multiplicity of Intimacy Interests and Goals
- 25. Therapeutic Challenges AnyoneCan Do It Triads Should Do Everything Together Polyamory is a Solution to Cheating Reading a Couple of Books Qualifies Participation Acting Out as Retribution for Boundary Negotiation Anyone Dating Multiple People is Poly Transparency and Consensuality Not Expected
- 26. Contact Information Leanna Wolfe,PhD LeannaPhD@outlook.com www.wisewomansexandrelationshipconsulting.com