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Polyamory’s Three Waves

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Looks at central players and themes in the Three Waves of Polyamory.

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Polyamory’s Three Waves

  1. 1. Polyamory’s Three Waves LEANNA WOLFE, PHD SOCIETY FOR THE SCIENTIFIC STUDY OF SEXUALITY NOVEMBER 11, 2017
  2. 2. Traditional Polygamy  One-third of the World’s Population  85% of the world cultures  84.5% Polygyny  .05% Polyandry  Resource-Based  Wealthy Males could Afford Multiple Wives  15-20% of Males could afford to be Polygynous  Males who shared a wife did so to prevent subdividing family farms  Practices by Nymba of Tibet
  3. 3. First Wave  Style: Patriarchal Polygyny  Strict Rules for Social/Sexual Conformity  Communal Living  Income Sharing  Reproduction Controlled  Sterilization  Rules for Sexual Reproduction  Birthing Practices  Communal Parenting
  4. 4. First Wave Patriarchs Stephen Gaskin, The Farm Jud, Kerista Commune John Humphrey Noyes, Oneida Community
  5. 5. The Oneida Community  Founded by Perfectionist Preacher, John Humphrey Noyes  19th c. 500-person Group Marriage  Coitus Reservatus  Complex Marriage  Banned Pair Bonding  Ascending Fellowship  Stirpiculture Breeding Program
  6. 6. The Farm  Founded in San Francisco in 1971  Relocated to Tennessee  Vows of poverty  Four Marriage System  For those with “juice” and ability  Spiritual Midwifery  Ina May Gaskin  200 Aging Boomers Remain
  7. 7. The Kerista Commune  SF based intentional community  25 years (early 70s -- mid-90s)  Compersion (invented the word)  no jealousy (Pines & Aronson, 1981)  Polyfidelity  Starling Brothers and Sisters  B-FICs -- Best Friend Identity Clusters
  8. 8. “Polyamory” is Named Morning Glory Zell Ravenhart’s essay “Bouquet of Flowers” published in The Green Egg (1990) names the concept, “Poly- Amory” (fusing Greek and Latin)
  9. 9. Second Wave  Feminism  Founded by Women  Focus on Communication  Boundaries  Transparency  Incorporates Compersion Ideal  Jealousy Inner Work  NRE – New Relationship Energy  Search for Unicorns  Bi-Women to form a Triad with an Open M/F Couple
  10. 10. Second Wave Matriarchs Deborah Anapol and Ryam Nearing Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy
  11. 11. Second Wave Publications 1992 1992 1997
  12. 12. Second Wave Popularizers Janet and Sasha Lessin World Polyamory Association Chuy and Robyn Trask Loving More Serena Anderlini Ecosexuality
  13. 13. Academic Publications
  14. 14. Relationship Diagrams!
  15. 15. Third Wave  Poly Goes Mainstream  Fueled by the Internet  Mass Media  Showtime TV Series  Frequent Coverage as a News Feature  Regarded as a “Thing”  Simply another Relationship Option  Solo Poly becomes an Identity  Metamours Embraced!  Relationship Escalator Challenged  Relationship Anarchy  Gender Fluidity  Gender Non-Binary Celebrated
  16. 16. Polyamory: Married and Dating
  17. 17. Third Wave Themes
  18. 18. Third Wave Popularizers Pepper Mint Cunning Minx Reid Milhalko
  19. 19. Third Wave Authors Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert Tristan Taormino
  20. 20. Third Wave Babes Dedeker Winston Kamala Devi
  21. 21. Third Wave Challenges  Growing Pains  No Longer Discreet Community of Special People  Physical Appearance Matters  Beautiful People Become Popularizers  No Longer a Bastion for Geeks and Misfits  A Relationship Choice  Not just for those Seeking to Live in Integrity  Less “Journey” to access Polyamory  Multiplicity of Intimacy Interests and Goals
  22. 22. Therapeutic Challenges  Anyone Can Do It  Triads Should Do Everything Together  Polyamory is a Solution to Cheating  Reading a Couple of Books Qualifies Participation  Acting Out as Retribution for Boundary Negotiation  Anyone Dating Multiple People is Poly  Transparency and Consensuality Not Expected
  23. 23. Contact Information Leanna Wolfe, PhD LeannaPhD@outlook.com www.wisewomansexandrelationshipconsulting.com

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