1. Polyamory’s Three Waves
LEANNA WOLFE, PHD
SOCIETY FOR THE SCIENTIFIC STUDY OF SEXUALITY
NOVEMBER 11, 2017

2. Traditional Polygamy
 One-third of the World’s Population
 85% of the world cultures
 84.5% Polygyny
 .05% Polyandry
 Resource-Based
 Wealthy Males could Afford Multiple Wives
 15-20% of Males could afford to be Polygynous
 Males who shared a wife did so to prevent subdividing family farms
 Practices by Nymba of Tibet

3. First Wave
 Style: Patriarchal Polygyny
 Strict Rules for Social/Sexual Conformity
 Communal Living
 Income Sharing
 Reproduction Controlled
 Sterilization
 Rules for Sexual Reproduction
 Birthing Practices
 Communal Parenting

4. First Wave Patriarchs
Stephen Gaskin, The Farm Jud, Kerista Commune
John Humphrey Noyes,
Oneida Community

5. The Oneida Community
 Founded by Perfectionist Preacher, John Humphrey Noyes
 19th c. 500-person Group Marriage
 Coitus Reservatus
 Complex Marriage
 Banned Pair Bonding
 Ascending Fellowship
 Stirpiculture Breeding Program

6. The Farm
 Founded in San Francisco in 1971
 Relocated to Tennessee
 Vows of poverty
 Four Marriage System
 For those with “juice” and ability
 Spiritual Midwifery
 Ina May Gaskin
 200 Aging Boomers Remain

7. The Kerista Commune
 SF based intentional community
 25 years (early 70s -- mid-90s)
 Compersion (invented the word)
 no jealousy (Pines & Aronson, 1981)
 Polyfidelity
 Starling Brothers and Sisters
 B-FICs -- Best Friend Identity Clusters

8. “Polyamory” is Named
Morning Glory Zell Ravenhart’s essay “Bouquet of Flowers”
published in The Green Egg (1990) names the concept, “Poly-
Amory” (fusing Greek and Latin)

9. Second Wave
 Feminism
 Founded by Women
 Focus on Communication
 Boundaries
 Transparency
 Incorporates Compersion Ideal
 Jealousy Inner Work
 NRE – New Relationship Energy
 Search for Unicorns
 Bi-Women to form a Triad with an Open M/F Couple

10. Second Wave Matriarchs
Deborah Anapol and Ryam Nearing Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

11. Second Wave Publications
1992 1992
1997

13. Second Wave Popularizers
Janet and Sasha Lessin
World Polyamory Association
Chuy and Robyn Trask
Loving More
Serena Anderlini
Ecosexuality

14. Academic Publications

15. Relationship Diagrams!

16. Third Wave
 Poly Goes Mainstream
 Fueled by the Internet
 Mass Media
 Showtime TV Series
 Frequent Coverage as a News Feature
 Regarded as a “Thing”
 Simply another Relationship Option
 Solo Poly becomes an Identity
 Metamours Embraced!
 Relationship Escalator Challenged
 Relationship Anarchy
 Gender Fluidity
 Gender Non-Binary Celebrated

18. Polyamory: Married and Dating

19. Third Wave Themes

21. Third Wave Popularizers
Pepper Mint Cunning Minx Reid Milhalko

22. Third Wave Authors
Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert Tristan Taormino

23. Third Wave Babes
Dedeker Winston Kamala Devi

24. Third Wave Challenges
 Growing Pains
 No Longer Discreet Community of Special People
 Physical Appearance Matters
 Beautiful People Become Popularizers
 No Longer a Bastion for Geeks and Misfits
 A Relationship Choice
 Not just for those Seeking to Live in Integrity
 Less “Journey” to access Polyamory
 Multiplicity of Intimacy Interests and Goals

25. Therapeutic Challenges
 Anyone Can Do It
 Triads Should Do Everything Together
 Polyamory is a Solution to Cheating
 Reading a Couple of Books Qualifies Participation
 Acting Out as Retribution for Boundary Negotiation
 Anyone Dating Multiple People is Poly
 Transparency and Consensuality Not Expected

26. Contact Information
Leanna Wolfe, PhD
LeannaPhD@outlook.com
www.wisewomansexandrelationshipconsulting.com