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Addressing Parental Bereavement Support Needs
at the End of Life for Infants
with Complex Chronic Conditions
Juliet S. Tan, M.D., B.A.,1,4
Sharron L. Docherty, Ph.D., CPNP,2,3
Raymond Barfield, M.D., Ph.D.,1
and Debra H. Brandon, Ph.D., R.N., CCNS, FAAN2,3
Abstract
Introduction: Health care providers’ understandings of parental bereavement needs before and in the acute
period following the death of an infant with a complex chronic condition are based upon models that outline the
process of grief and provide direction for possible points of intervention. These models do not address pro-
spective factors along the illness trajectory that may contribute to the depth and debilitating nature of grief, and
fail to clarify the influence of social structures on parents’ experience and construct of grief, loss, and mourning.
The purpose of this study was to prospectively describe the bereavement experience of parents whose infants die
in acute care settings with a complex chronic condition.
Methods: A longitudinal, qualitative, descriptive design was used to explore the process of parental bereave-
ment. Extreme case sampling with variation on race, socioeconomic status, prenatal diagnosis, and multiple
gestations was used to select 7 cases represented by over 72 narrative interviews with parents.
Results: Findings are organized into five broad categories: Having Expectations, Continuity of Care, Memory
Making, Wide Network of Support, and Altruism. Themes under each category were developed based upon
examples given in the parental interviews.
Conclusion: This study provides an exploration of the complex and longitudinal nature of bereavement. An-
ticipatory support initiated prior to the death of an infant can help parents experience a smoother transition from
caring for their very ill child to coping with the actual death event and its aftermath.
Introduction
Coping with the death of an infant is a complex and
stressful experience for parents. Despite the universal
nature of grief, parental bereavement remains poorly under-
stood.1–3
Bereavement support can help grieving parents ex-
plore the meaning and challenges associated with their
experience of a child’s death.4–5
Current support interventions
are based on models that focus on stages of grief and on
psychological tasks that need to be accomplished during the
grieving process.6–12
While these models describe the process
of bereavement they do not address factors along the child’s
illness trajectory that may have contributed to the depth and
debilitating nature of grief. In addition, these models do not
clarify the influence of social structures on an individual’s
experience with grief, loss, and mourning.
Preparation of parents for their ill child’s death can have
long-reaching consequences. Studies show that caregivers
who are less prepared for the death of their loved one may be
prone to suffer from depression, anxiety, and complicated
grief.13
However these studies have been retrospective and
cross-sectional in design, focusing on the experience following
death. The impact of events occurring in the days and weeks
prior to death on the bereavement process and nature of grief
experience has not been studied. Understanding how pro-
viders can identify time points and events earlier in the child’s
illness trajectory to assess parental support needs may be in-
strumental in minimizing the negative effects of grief. The
purpose of this paper was to identify experiences, interac-
tions, and interventions that occurred over the illness trajec-
tory and at the time of death that may have played a
significant role in parents’ bereavement process.
1
Division of Pediatric Hematology and Oncology, 3
Department of Pediatrics, Duke University Hospital, Durham, North Carolina.
2
Duke University School of Nursing, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.
4
Duke-NUS, Graduate Medical School, Singapore.
Accepted December 21, 2011.
JOURNAL OF PALLIATIVE MEDICINE
Volume 15, Number 5, 2012
ª Mary Ann Liebert, Inc.
DOI: 10.1089/jpm.2011.0357
579
Methods
A longitudinal, prospective design was used to explore the
bereavement process of parents with critically ill infants. We
identified antecedents, consequences, and the subsequent
impact of events and experiences prior to death on the be-
reavement process. Data for this secondary analysis was col-
lected between 2008 and 2011 as part of a longitudinal,
multiple case study exploring parent and health care provider
decision making for infants with complex life-threatening
conditions (1R01-NR010548). Each case in the principal study
included one or more infants, at least one parent, and a min-
imum of three health care providers (including physicians,
nurses, and social workers). Mixed method data sources were
used. We analysed 72 narrative interviews from 7 cases (14
parents of 8 infants) of infants who had died.
Participants and setting
A purposive sampling technique was used in the principal
study to select infants with three kinds of complex life-
threatening conditions (CLTCs): extreme prematurity ( < 26
weeks gestation), complex congenital heart diseases (e.g.,
hypoplastic heart), or genetic disorders requiring a hemato-
poietic stem cell transplant (HSCT) (e.g., metabolic or storage
diseases) receiving care at a southeastern U.S. academic
medical center. These conditions were chosen because of their
complex clinical course and high mortality rates. Sampling
continued within each of these diagnostic categories to in-
clude infants of various races and socioeconomic status to
ensure a population representative of those encountered in
this clinical setting. Parents were at least 18 years old, English
speaking, and biological parents of the infants. The 7 cases
sampled for this secondary analysis (from a subset of 11 cases
in which the infant had died) was small enough to allow for
intensive study of over 72 interviews while permitting some
variation in race and diagnostic groups. Table 1 displays the
demographics of the parent sample.
Data collection
Narrative interviews were conducted with parents, begin-
ning with enrollment (at birth or at diagnosis for extreme
premature and complex cardiac group or at decision to
transplant for genetic disorder group), and continuing
monthly until death. Interviews were also conducted within a
week following a life-threatening event or significant change
in treatment, and at six weeks and six months post-death.
The narrative-style interviews were open-ended and al-
lowed parents to tell their story including how the infant’s
illness and treatment were progressing. Probe questions were
then used to explore topics pertaining to experiences during
their child’s illness trajectory, such as the decision making
process, coping mechanisms, and bereavement. Parents’
emotions, anxieties, and grief were explored. Initial inter-
views focused on understanding their infant’s condition, de-
cisional issues, participation in care and comfort, and thought
processes regarding decisions made. Post-death interviews
focused on the death experience and process of grief. In the
bereavement interviews parents were asked to reflect on their
entire experience with their infant’s condition and treatment.
Table 2 includes sample questions from the interview con-
ducted six months post-death.
Procedure
Informed consent was obtained from parents. Interviews
were conducted in person or over the phone by an assistant
trained in narrative interview techniques. All parents were
informed that the information shared would not be disclosed
to the other parent or any health care providers involved in
their case.
Table 1. Demographics of Parents
Participating in Study
Variable Number (%)
Sex
Male 7 (50%)
Female 7 (50%)
Ethnicity
Caucasian 10 (71%)
African-American 4 (29%)
Age (range) 23-46
Years of education (range) 9-18
Married
Yes 10 (71%)
No 4 (29%)
Religious preference
Christian 13 (93%)
Other 1 (7%)
Income
$15,000-$25,000 2 (14%)
$26,000-$50,000 4 (28%)
$51,000-$75,000 5 (35%)
$76,000-$100,000 3 (21%)
Employed
Yes 12 (86%)
No 2 (14%)
Infant diagnosis
Complex congenital heart disease 6 (43%)
Genetic/metabolic disease/HSCT 6 (43%)
Extreme prematurity 2 (14%)
Infant age in weeks (range) 23-108
HSCT, hematopoietic stem cell transplant.
Table 2. Sample Interview Questions
This must be a very difficult time for you. Talk about how
you are coping?
How is your family (husband/wife) coping?
Tell me about a very difficult experience for you.
Are you comfortable with the health care decisions for your
infant?
Tell me about what happened when [name of infant] died.
Some parents find it helpful to avoid thinking about their
infant’s illness after he or she has died while others like to
focus at this time in order to remember their infant. Tell me
how you have been thinking about your infant and his or
her illness.
We talked at the six-week interview about the events
surrounding your child’s death and how you felt about
that. Has anything changed in the way you feel?
Tell me about one of your best, most positive memories of
this time.
What was the most difficult experience for you?
580 TAN ET AL.
Data analysis
Interviews were digitally recorded, transcribed, and re-
viewed to ensure accuracy. All participants’ names were
changed to preserve anonymity. The analysis presented here
was conducted using a content analysis technique applied to
parent interviews and field notes.22
The focus of this analysis
was to identify experiences, interactions, and interventions
that occurred over the illness trajectory and at death that
may have played a significant role in parents’ bereavement
process.
All interviews were read throughly to obtain an under-
standing of the parents’ story and infants’ illness trajectory. A
text-based analysis program (ATLAS.ti) was used to view,
organize, and apply codes to the data. The coded data were
then clustered into themes, and the themes grouped into ca-
tegories. Detailed analysis process notes were kept, which
enabled members of the research team to see how data had
been processed and categorized.
Results
The findings are organized into five categories: Having
Expectations, Continuity of Care, Memory Making, Wide
Network of Support, and Altruism. Within each category we
describe themes that represent events or interventions that
played a role in the parents’ bereavement process. Support-
ing data samples for each category and theme are listed in
Table 3.
1. Having expectations
This category included themes related to the decision
making process parents engaged in, the establishment of ex-
pectations of the infant’s illness and likely progress, and
modes by which parents were able to form these expectations.
Entertaining possible outcomes. Parents were gener-
ally hopeful that their child would survive their conditions,
but those who acknowledged the possibility of negative out-
comes earlier in the course of illness described less distress
around the time of death and during bereavement. Although
contemplating these outcomes was distressing, parents who
had anticipated undesirable situations appeared to be coping
better following infant death.
Decisions they can live with. Parents described expe-
riencing less distress during bereavement when they had been
actively involved in care decisions and had considered all
potential interventions that were offered. Understanding the
limitations of current medical technology and accepting that
not all available options were suitable for their child also
helped to lessen their feelings of guilt and blame during be-
reavement.
Speaking with other families. Though all parents af-
firmed that communicating with health care providers was es-
sential in dealing with their infant’s condition, some believed it
was equally useful to speak with other parents and caregivers
about their respective experiences. Participants who communi-
cated with parents of other infants with similar conditions said
that these conversations helped them anticipate likely courses of
illness and helped them to form realistic expectations.
2. Continuity of care
This category included themes related to care provided by a
dependable person who had a history of interaction with the
child, the parent’s positive perceptions of this contact, and the
importance that parents placed on continuity of care within
the health care system.
Having a personal witness. Though this study was not
intended to be interventional, parents expressed that the re-
search interview sessions conducted by a consistent member of
the study team was helpful and allowed them to reflect upon
their thoughts and reactions to their child’s illness. Parents de-
scribed the importance of having the same person at each in-
terview to listen to their thoughts withoutpassing judgementor
offering suggestions, which family members and close friends
tended to do. They found it easier to speak with people who
had been with them throughout the entire course of the illness,
and with whom they had maintained a good relationship.
Provider care. Though parents understood the rotating
nature of the health care team, they expressed frustration at the
lack of continuity of care. Changes in providers caused some
parents to experience a sense of abandonment during their
child’s illness. This sense of abandonment and accompanying
perceived loss of an advocate continued after decisions were
made to transition their infants from curative treatment to
comfort measures. Some parents also started to doubt the
therapeutic motives and integrity of unfamiliar providers.
3. Memory making
This category included themes related to memories of their
infant: how memories were created, the physical and emo-
tional nature of these memories, the influence they have on
the lives of parents, and how memories continue to be created
after death.
Remembering time spent together
Memories of their infant were particularly important to
parents during the bereavement period. Parents frequently
reminisced about final hours with their child, most particu-
larly the events leading up to and surrounding their infant’s
death. Parents recounted parenting activities they had par-
ticipated in (such as holding and dressing) and expressed
appreciation at having had the opportunity to create these
memories with their child. Time spent together as a family
during the course of illness was extremely important.
It was important for parents to know that while their infant
had been alive they had provided care and comfort to the best
of their abilities. Parents’ perception that their infant’s suf-
fering was minimized enabled them to contemplate their in-
fant’s illness and death with lessened guilt and distress. This
knowledge that they had provided love and comfort became a
memory that parents could draw upon for support during
bereavement.
Physical memory making. Physical items were also
valuable to parents and helpful in memorializing their infant.
Though most parents had their own collection of items such as
photographs and clothing, they appreciated the additional
memory boxes and hand prints created by staff at the hospital
PARENT BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT NEEDS 581
Table 3. Results
Category Theme Example
1. Having
Expectations
Entertaining
Possible
Outcomes
‘‘It’s alright, it wasn’t something that we were expecting, but we knew.this could
be the turnout before we came down here, and we were willing to take that
option if it happens.I don’t want to say we were prepared for it but.We knew
that outcome could come and I think we were prepared for that.and I think
right now we are at ease with the decision we made [to withdraw care].’’
Decisions They
Can Live
With
‘‘There really was nothing else we could do..It was what right now in 2008
what is medically possible.So I can’t get mad or you know, fault somebody
for.this medicine not being a complete cure. I knew pretty much the outcome
of what it was going to be, and there’s nobody, there’s nobody at fault. We
did what we had to do and we knew going down there this could happen, but I
would much rather do that than us sit here and just watch it, and just see that
something’s not right and not do anything about it.’’
Speaking with
Other
Families
‘‘It would be helpful for me.[to have] had somebody that’s already been through
it to sit down and talk to us. We would’ve felt so much better about everything,
we would’ve known what to expect, it wouldn’t have crept up on us. But,
well we didn’t have anybody.we didn’t have anybody to hear from, so we
just had to go with what we went with.’’
2. Continuity
of Care
Having a
Personal
Witness
‘‘It kind of helps to know that sometimes somebody else had the same feelings
as you– not as much had the same feelings as you but understands where
you’re coming from instead of talking to a total stranger who has no clue what
you’re talking about.’’
Provider Care ‘‘We seem to be the only people that notice the changes. I think everybody else is
so used to seeing her all the time and so used to sick babies that they really can’t
tell if this changed or that changed. I think probably the best way to improve
that is to have the same nurse follow the same kid, or the same couple of nurses
follow the same kid..We’ve gone through [almost] every nurse on the ward
and because we’re swapping out, that redness that’s there today, you know it
could’ve been there yesterday, so they don’t bring it up.’’
3. Memory
Making
Remembering
Time Spent
Together
‘‘We decided, look, let’s.make her comfortable.We’ve done all we can possibly,
you know we did everything we could by the book.Everything we could
medically.and if nobody in the state.can fix Ally, she’s a fighter, you know
just let her be.We did all we could.’’
Physical
Memory
Making
‘‘The Child Life people came in and made some really neat like cast things like um
like a, stone thing I don’t know what it is like a molding of his hands.So I
could have handprints and footprints and that kind of thing. So I would be able
to have his memory.’’
4. Wide
Network of
Support
Support from
Strangers
‘‘We had one [memorial event] at the house, where we had almost 500 balloons,
and can you imagine that?.And we had almost 25, 30 people just at my house
letting them all off. And you know that really means a lot.We even had people
show up that I didn’t know who they were.Just for them to take out, ten,
fifteen minutes and go pick out a pink balloon and take a picture of.letting it
go in the air.They didn’t have to do that.But that fifteen minutes that they
did that it wasn’t about them, it wasn’t about.me, it was about her and that’s
what I like.If people can go out of their way like that.it makes me feel better.’’
Affirmation of
Their Strength
and Decisions
Made
‘‘It is a very tragic thing but we’re very content with the decisions that we
made..We’re confronting a lot of people.that came to us, you know what,
ya’ll are damn strong for doing what you did, you know you’re great
parents.I’ve had people come up to me and say.you’re one hell of a man for
doing what you did. And it means a lot because.getting this from grown
people.It’s very heartwarming knowing that if I can go through this.I’m
going to be ok the rest of my life.’’
5. Altruism Helping Others
Through
Their
Experience
‘‘We were definitely more than happy to do it any way to help out.When Logan
passed.They um, offered to do an autopsy so maybe we did it for more to get
answers for ourselves but you know what.they said it could help other kids
you know that could be in similar situations.and they.asked if we’d like to
donate his brain for research.that was a hard decision to make.but if it’s
going to help you know one person out then you know we want to help in any
way we can.’’
Passing on
Personal
Items
‘‘Every single toy that I had brand new in the box, which was probably half of
her toys, I gave to the Happy Place.I told them, don’t just give it to [anyone];
give it to a kid that needs it. Give it to a kid that wants to play with this.
She never got to play with it, but, give it to a kid that wants to play with
it.that’s gonna cherish it.’’
582 TAN ET AL.
and said these items helped to strengthen their memories of
their infant.
4. Wide network of support
This category included themes related to parents drawing
support from individuals outside of their immediate family
and social networks. Access to this support was both in per-
son and through social media.
Support from strangers. Parents described their sur-
prise at the helpfulness, support, and concern that came from
strangers they encountered on internet sites, blogs, and at
memorial events. While parents had not personally known
these individuals, they experienced a sense of comfort from
knowing that their story had a broader impact beyond their
immediate social support network. Parents were touched
when strangers would attend memorial events and dedicate
time to commemorate and remember their infant. Their par-
ticipation was treasured as a way of honouring their infant’s
existence.
Affirmation of their strength and decisions made.
Parents usually appreciated condolences that were offered,
even from people they did not know well. They cherished the
knowledge that other people were aware of the plight they
had experienced. Having others affirm the difficulty of their
situation also made it easier for parents to accept the decisions
they had made for their infant.
5. Altruism
This category included the themes of satisfaction and a
sense of meaningful purpose when parents were able to reach
out to other families in similar situations.
Helping others through their experience. The experi-
ence of coping with the illness, treatment, and death of a
critically ill infant is one that parents found agonizing. Many
parents wanted good to come out of their experience. Helping
other parents allowed them to find some positive meaning in
their grief and purpose in their infant’s life.
Passing on personal items. Even though their infant
lived for a short time, most parents had accumulated a
number of personal items (such as clothing and toys). Fol-
lowing the death, parents expressed a sense of gratification at
passing these items on to other children who were in need of
them.
Discussion
Numerous studies have described the overwhelming pain
and distress that parents experience following the death of a
child.14–17
The prospective descriptions of infant illness fac-
tors and death experiences given by parents in this study
provide insight into parental bereavement needs and grief
experience.
Parents developed expectations of their infant’s illness tra-
jectory from discussions with care providers and parents of
other children with similar complex conditions. As the in-
fant’s illness trajectory changed over time, altered treatment
plans were developed. Parents generally pursued all treat-
ment options that were offered out of a desire to lessen regret
and feel ‘‘we did everything possible.’’ Understanding the
limits to modern medicine’s ability to cure their infant was
critical to moving forward. These findings underscore the
importance of evaluating treatment options in the context of
the goals of care, rather than availability, before offering them
to parents. Together providers and parents should frequently
reassess the child’s illness trajectory with a goal toward real-
istic expectations of the likely outcome of the illness.
Parents in this study described the importance of continuity
of care. Parents of dying children need the support and ex-
pertise of a caregiver that has a relationship with their child.
Children with complex chronic conditions often require a
large number of consultants and specialists over the trajectory
of their illness. Identification of a central provider that can
assume responsibility for care coordination is one strategy
that health care teams can use to achieve continuity of care. In
addition, parents need someone to talk with who does not
come to the conversation with a caregiver ‘‘role’’ agenda.
Therefore, an impartial support person, like a social worker or
chaplain that has the time to ‘‘just listen’’ can be a source of
significant support for parents.
Consistent with previous work on bereavement support,
the importance of memory making was central in this study.
Parental regret during the grieving process often focused on
actions parents took during their limited time with their infant
and not on medical decisions.18
Other retrospective studies
have found that parents wished they had engaged in more
parenting activities, such as bathing, dressing, and holding to
provide more memories to reflect upon during bereave-
ment.19
Our study prospectively documented the importance
of memory making, in which tangible evidence of the infant’s
life was integrated into future memories. This is particularly
important for parents of infants given that they may have
never brought their infant home to create family memories.
These findings underscore the importance of early inter-
vention in preparation for the possible death of an infant and
establishment of resources to prospectively support parent
bereavement, including memory making. Where possible,
parents should be actively involved in daily infant care such
as feeding and bathing. Encouraging parents to bring per-
sonal items such as quilts or toys can give parents a sense of
providing love and comfort for their child, an important
memory during bereavement. Infant memory boxes or
handprints from the providers also provide bereaved parents
with physical remembrances of their infant.
Prior studies have validated the importance of a wider net-
work of individuals in a range of support roles.20
In our study,
parents not only drew strength from close family, friends, and
caregivers, but found avenues of support in social media such
as online support groups, websites, and personal blogs. While
strangers and peer supporters cannot deal with medical
questions pertaining to illness and cause of death, they are an
invaluable source of presence, affirmation, and support for
grieving parents. Prior studies reported that feelings of ex-
treme isolation in grieving parents is reduced during self-help
group attendance; parents derive a sense of acceptance from
interacting with others with similar experiences.21
Commu-
nicating with other parents enables them to release pent up
feelings and decrease the potential intensity of future emo-
tional and social distress.21
Providers can assist parents in
joining support groups or direct them to appropriate online
PARENT BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT NEEDS 583
support resources. Organizing annual memorial events that
commemorate the deceased can reach out to bereaved fami-
lies in a setting of support.
Altruism was important for families: to give to others fol-
lowing the death of their infant. Sharing their stories on social
media sites provided comfort to parents as did their ability to
share their child’s physical belongings with others. While
sharing their story may not be useful to all parents, providers
should encourage families to explore such options.
Our findings describe experiences and events that occurred
prior to and following the death of an infant that parents
found helpful in reducing their distress during the grieving
period. Parents described these experiences as having less-
ened their anguish during the bereavement period. Future
research that measures the impact of such experiences on
parental bereavement outcomes (such as the length of acute
bereavement, impact on daily functioning, complicated grief)
is needed.
While this study provides guidance for interventions to
support parent bereavement, the data was collected for a
study on medical decision making and did not specifically
focus on bereavement needs. More direct questioning on pa-
rental bereavement experience is required to further clarify
optimal bereavement support needs of parents. It is hoped
that some of the findings and suggestions offered in this study
will present health care providers with a wider range of op-
tions for improving the delivery of parental care during the
acute bereavement period.
Acknowledgments
The project was supported by National Institutes of Health-
National Institute of Nursing Research R01NR010548.
Author Disclosure Statement
There are no real, perceived, or potential conflicts of interest
amongst any of the authors.
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Address correspondence to:
Sharron L. Docherty, Ph.D., CPNP
Duke University School of Nursing
DUMC 3322
Durham, NC 27710
E-mail: sharron.docherty@duke.edu
584 TAN ET AL.

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Parental Bereavement Support for Infants with Complex Conditions

  • 1. Addressing Parental Bereavement Support Needs at the End of Life for Infants with Complex Chronic Conditions Juliet S. Tan, M.D., B.A.,1,4 Sharron L. Docherty, Ph.D., CPNP,2,3 Raymond Barfield, M.D., Ph.D.,1 and Debra H. Brandon, Ph.D., R.N., CCNS, FAAN2,3 Abstract Introduction: Health care providers’ understandings of parental bereavement needs before and in the acute period following the death of an infant with a complex chronic condition are based upon models that outline the process of grief and provide direction for possible points of intervention. These models do not address pro- spective factors along the illness trajectory that may contribute to the depth and debilitating nature of grief, and fail to clarify the influence of social structures on parents’ experience and construct of grief, loss, and mourning. The purpose of this study was to prospectively describe the bereavement experience of parents whose infants die in acute care settings with a complex chronic condition. Methods: A longitudinal, qualitative, descriptive design was used to explore the process of parental bereave- ment. Extreme case sampling with variation on race, socioeconomic status, prenatal diagnosis, and multiple gestations was used to select 7 cases represented by over 72 narrative interviews with parents. Results: Findings are organized into five broad categories: Having Expectations, Continuity of Care, Memory Making, Wide Network of Support, and Altruism. Themes under each category were developed based upon examples given in the parental interviews. Conclusion: This study provides an exploration of the complex and longitudinal nature of bereavement. An- ticipatory support initiated prior to the death of an infant can help parents experience a smoother transition from caring for their very ill child to coping with the actual death event and its aftermath. Introduction Coping with the death of an infant is a complex and stressful experience for parents. Despite the universal nature of grief, parental bereavement remains poorly under- stood.1–3 Bereavement support can help grieving parents ex- plore the meaning and challenges associated with their experience of a child’s death.4–5 Current support interventions are based on models that focus on stages of grief and on psychological tasks that need to be accomplished during the grieving process.6–12 While these models describe the process of bereavement they do not address factors along the child’s illness trajectory that may have contributed to the depth and debilitating nature of grief. In addition, these models do not clarify the influence of social structures on an individual’s experience with grief, loss, and mourning. Preparation of parents for their ill child’s death can have long-reaching consequences. Studies show that caregivers who are less prepared for the death of their loved one may be prone to suffer from depression, anxiety, and complicated grief.13 However these studies have been retrospective and cross-sectional in design, focusing on the experience following death. The impact of events occurring in the days and weeks prior to death on the bereavement process and nature of grief experience has not been studied. Understanding how pro- viders can identify time points and events earlier in the child’s illness trajectory to assess parental support needs may be in- strumental in minimizing the negative effects of grief. The purpose of this paper was to identify experiences, interac- tions, and interventions that occurred over the illness trajec- tory and at the time of death that may have played a significant role in parents’ bereavement process. 1 Division of Pediatric Hematology and Oncology, 3 Department of Pediatrics, Duke University Hospital, Durham, North Carolina. 2 Duke University School of Nursing, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina. 4 Duke-NUS, Graduate Medical School, Singapore. Accepted December 21, 2011. JOURNAL OF PALLIATIVE MEDICINE Volume 15, Number 5, 2012 ª Mary Ann Liebert, Inc. DOI: 10.1089/jpm.2011.0357 579
  • 2. Methods A longitudinal, prospective design was used to explore the bereavement process of parents with critically ill infants. We identified antecedents, consequences, and the subsequent impact of events and experiences prior to death on the be- reavement process. Data for this secondary analysis was col- lected between 2008 and 2011 as part of a longitudinal, multiple case study exploring parent and health care provider decision making for infants with complex life-threatening conditions (1R01-NR010548). Each case in the principal study included one or more infants, at least one parent, and a min- imum of three health care providers (including physicians, nurses, and social workers). Mixed method data sources were used. We analysed 72 narrative interviews from 7 cases (14 parents of 8 infants) of infants who had died. Participants and setting A purposive sampling technique was used in the principal study to select infants with three kinds of complex life- threatening conditions (CLTCs): extreme prematurity ( < 26 weeks gestation), complex congenital heart diseases (e.g., hypoplastic heart), or genetic disorders requiring a hemato- poietic stem cell transplant (HSCT) (e.g., metabolic or storage diseases) receiving care at a southeastern U.S. academic medical center. These conditions were chosen because of their complex clinical course and high mortality rates. Sampling continued within each of these diagnostic categories to in- clude infants of various races and socioeconomic status to ensure a population representative of those encountered in this clinical setting. Parents were at least 18 years old, English speaking, and biological parents of the infants. The 7 cases sampled for this secondary analysis (from a subset of 11 cases in which the infant had died) was small enough to allow for intensive study of over 72 interviews while permitting some variation in race and diagnostic groups. Table 1 displays the demographics of the parent sample. Data collection Narrative interviews were conducted with parents, begin- ning with enrollment (at birth or at diagnosis for extreme premature and complex cardiac group or at decision to transplant for genetic disorder group), and continuing monthly until death. Interviews were also conducted within a week following a life-threatening event or significant change in treatment, and at six weeks and six months post-death. The narrative-style interviews were open-ended and al- lowed parents to tell their story including how the infant’s illness and treatment were progressing. Probe questions were then used to explore topics pertaining to experiences during their child’s illness trajectory, such as the decision making process, coping mechanisms, and bereavement. Parents’ emotions, anxieties, and grief were explored. Initial inter- views focused on understanding their infant’s condition, de- cisional issues, participation in care and comfort, and thought processes regarding decisions made. Post-death interviews focused on the death experience and process of grief. In the bereavement interviews parents were asked to reflect on their entire experience with their infant’s condition and treatment. Table 2 includes sample questions from the interview con- ducted six months post-death. Procedure Informed consent was obtained from parents. Interviews were conducted in person or over the phone by an assistant trained in narrative interview techniques. All parents were informed that the information shared would not be disclosed to the other parent or any health care providers involved in their case. Table 1. Demographics of Parents Participating in Study Variable Number (%) Sex Male 7 (50%) Female 7 (50%) Ethnicity Caucasian 10 (71%) African-American 4 (29%) Age (range) 23-46 Years of education (range) 9-18 Married Yes 10 (71%) No 4 (29%) Religious preference Christian 13 (93%) Other 1 (7%) Income $15,000-$25,000 2 (14%) $26,000-$50,000 4 (28%) $51,000-$75,000 5 (35%) $76,000-$100,000 3 (21%) Employed Yes 12 (86%) No 2 (14%) Infant diagnosis Complex congenital heart disease 6 (43%) Genetic/metabolic disease/HSCT 6 (43%) Extreme prematurity 2 (14%) Infant age in weeks (range) 23-108 HSCT, hematopoietic stem cell transplant. Table 2. Sample Interview Questions This must be a very difficult time for you. Talk about how you are coping? How is your family (husband/wife) coping? Tell me about a very difficult experience for you. Are you comfortable with the health care decisions for your infant? Tell me about what happened when [name of infant] died. Some parents find it helpful to avoid thinking about their infant’s illness after he or she has died while others like to focus at this time in order to remember their infant. Tell me how you have been thinking about your infant and his or her illness. We talked at the six-week interview about the events surrounding your child’s death and how you felt about that. Has anything changed in the way you feel? Tell me about one of your best, most positive memories of this time. What was the most difficult experience for you? 580 TAN ET AL.
  • 3. Data analysis Interviews were digitally recorded, transcribed, and re- viewed to ensure accuracy. All participants’ names were changed to preserve anonymity. The analysis presented here was conducted using a content analysis technique applied to parent interviews and field notes.22 The focus of this analysis was to identify experiences, interactions, and interventions that occurred over the illness trajectory and at death that may have played a significant role in parents’ bereavement process. All interviews were read throughly to obtain an under- standing of the parents’ story and infants’ illness trajectory. A text-based analysis program (ATLAS.ti) was used to view, organize, and apply codes to the data. The coded data were then clustered into themes, and the themes grouped into ca- tegories. Detailed analysis process notes were kept, which enabled members of the research team to see how data had been processed and categorized. Results The findings are organized into five categories: Having Expectations, Continuity of Care, Memory Making, Wide Network of Support, and Altruism. Within each category we describe themes that represent events or interventions that played a role in the parents’ bereavement process. Support- ing data samples for each category and theme are listed in Table 3. 1. Having expectations This category included themes related to the decision making process parents engaged in, the establishment of ex- pectations of the infant’s illness and likely progress, and modes by which parents were able to form these expectations. Entertaining possible outcomes. Parents were gener- ally hopeful that their child would survive their conditions, but those who acknowledged the possibility of negative out- comes earlier in the course of illness described less distress around the time of death and during bereavement. Although contemplating these outcomes was distressing, parents who had anticipated undesirable situations appeared to be coping better following infant death. Decisions they can live with. Parents described expe- riencing less distress during bereavement when they had been actively involved in care decisions and had considered all potential interventions that were offered. Understanding the limitations of current medical technology and accepting that not all available options were suitable for their child also helped to lessen their feelings of guilt and blame during be- reavement. Speaking with other families. Though all parents af- firmed that communicating with health care providers was es- sential in dealing with their infant’s condition, some believed it was equally useful to speak with other parents and caregivers about their respective experiences. Participants who communi- cated with parents of other infants with similar conditions said that these conversations helped them anticipate likely courses of illness and helped them to form realistic expectations. 2. Continuity of care This category included themes related to care provided by a dependable person who had a history of interaction with the child, the parent’s positive perceptions of this contact, and the importance that parents placed on continuity of care within the health care system. Having a personal witness. Though this study was not intended to be interventional, parents expressed that the re- search interview sessions conducted by a consistent member of the study team was helpful and allowed them to reflect upon their thoughts and reactions to their child’s illness. Parents de- scribed the importance of having the same person at each in- terview to listen to their thoughts withoutpassing judgementor offering suggestions, which family members and close friends tended to do. They found it easier to speak with people who had been with them throughout the entire course of the illness, and with whom they had maintained a good relationship. Provider care. Though parents understood the rotating nature of the health care team, they expressed frustration at the lack of continuity of care. Changes in providers caused some parents to experience a sense of abandonment during their child’s illness. This sense of abandonment and accompanying perceived loss of an advocate continued after decisions were made to transition their infants from curative treatment to comfort measures. Some parents also started to doubt the therapeutic motives and integrity of unfamiliar providers. 3. Memory making This category included themes related to memories of their infant: how memories were created, the physical and emo- tional nature of these memories, the influence they have on the lives of parents, and how memories continue to be created after death. Remembering time spent together Memories of their infant were particularly important to parents during the bereavement period. Parents frequently reminisced about final hours with their child, most particu- larly the events leading up to and surrounding their infant’s death. Parents recounted parenting activities they had par- ticipated in (such as holding and dressing) and expressed appreciation at having had the opportunity to create these memories with their child. Time spent together as a family during the course of illness was extremely important. It was important for parents to know that while their infant had been alive they had provided care and comfort to the best of their abilities. Parents’ perception that their infant’s suf- fering was minimized enabled them to contemplate their in- fant’s illness and death with lessened guilt and distress. This knowledge that they had provided love and comfort became a memory that parents could draw upon for support during bereavement. Physical memory making. Physical items were also valuable to parents and helpful in memorializing their infant. Though most parents had their own collection of items such as photographs and clothing, they appreciated the additional memory boxes and hand prints created by staff at the hospital PARENT BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT NEEDS 581
  • 4. Table 3. Results Category Theme Example 1. Having Expectations Entertaining Possible Outcomes ‘‘It’s alright, it wasn’t something that we were expecting, but we knew.this could be the turnout before we came down here, and we were willing to take that option if it happens.I don’t want to say we were prepared for it but.We knew that outcome could come and I think we were prepared for that.and I think right now we are at ease with the decision we made [to withdraw care].’’ Decisions They Can Live With ‘‘There really was nothing else we could do..It was what right now in 2008 what is medically possible.So I can’t get mad or you know, fault somebody for.this medicine not being a complete cure. I knew pretty much the outcome of what it was going to be, and there’s nobody, there’s nobody at fault. We did what we had to do and we knew going down there this could happen, but I would much rather do that than us sit here and just watch it, and just see that something’s not right and not do anything about it.’’ Speaking with Other Families ‘‘It would be helpful for me.[to have] had somebody that’s already been through it to sit down and talk to us. We would’ve felt so much better about everything, we would’ve known what to expect, it wouldn’t have crept up on us. But, well we didn’t have anybody.we didn’t have anybody to hear from, so we just had to go with what we went with.’’ 2. Continuity of Care Having a Personal Witness ‘‘It kind of helps to know that sometimes somebody else had the same feelings as you– not as much had the same feelings as you but understands where you’re coming from instead of talking to a total stranger who has no clue what you’re talking about.’’ Provider Care ‘‘We seem to be the only people that notice the changes. I think everybody else is so used to seeing her all the time and so used to sick babies that they really can’t tell if this changed or that changed. I think probably the best way to improve that is to have the same nurse follow the same kid, or the same couple of nurses follow the same kid..We’ve gone through [almost] every nurse on the ward and because we’re swapping out, that redness that’s there today, you know it could’ve been there yesterday, so they don’t bring it up.’’ 3. Memory Making Remembering Time Spent Together ‘‘We decided, look, let’s.make her comfortable.We’ve done all we can possibly, you know we did everything we could by the book.Everything we could medically.and if nobody in the state.can fix Ally, she’s a fighter, you know just let her be.We did all we could.’’ Physical Memory Making ‘‘The Child Life people came in and made some really neat like cast things like um like a, stone thing I don’t know what it is like a molding of his hands.So I could have handprints and footprints and that kind of thing. So I would be able to have his memory.’’ 4. Wide Network of Support Support from Strangers ‘‘We had one [memorial event] at the house, where we had almost 500 balloons, and can you imagine that?.And we had almost 25, 30 people just at my house letting them all off. And you know that really means a lot.We even had people show up that I didn’t know who they were.Just for them to take out, ten, fifteen minutes and go pick out a pink balloon and take a picture of.letting it go in the air.They didn’t have to do that.But that fifteen minutes that they did that it wasn’t about them, it wasn’t about.me, it was about her and that’s what I like.If people can go out of their way like that.it makes me feel better.’’ Affirmation of Their Strength and Decisions Made ‘‘It is a very tragic thing but we’re very content with the decisions that we made..We’re confronting a lot of people.that came to us, you know what, ya’ll are damn strong for doing what you did, you know you’re great parents.I’ve had people come up to me and say.you’re one hell of a man for doing what you did. And it means a lot because.getting this from grown people.It’s very heartwarming knowing that if I can go through this.I’m going to be ok the rest of my life.’’ 5. Altruism Helping Others Through Their Experience ‘‘We were definitely more than happy to do it any way to help out.When Logan passed.They um, offered to do an autopsy so maybe we did it for more to get answers for ourselves but you know what.they said it could help other kids you know that could be in similar situations.and they.asked if we’d like to donate his brain for research.that was a hard decision to make.but if it’s going to help you know one person out then you know we want to help in any way we can.’’ Passing on Personal Items ‘‘Every single toy that I had brand new in the box, which was probably half of her toys, I gave to the Happy Place.I told them, don’t just give it to [anyone]; give it to a kid that needs it. Give it to a kid that wants to play with this. She never got to play with it, but, give it to a kid that wants to play with it.that’s gonna cherish it.’’ 582 TAN ET AL.
  • 5. and said these items helped to strengthen their memories of their infant. 4. Wide network of support This category included themes related to parents drawing support from individuals outside of their immediate family and social networks. Access to this support was both in per- son and through social media. Support from strangers. Parents described their sur- prise at the helpfulness, support, and concern that came from strangers they encountered on internet sites, blogs, and at memorial events. While parents had not personally known these individuals, they experienced a sense of comfort from knowing that their story had a broader impact beyond their immediate social support network. Parents were touched when strangers would attend memorial events and dedicate time to commemorate and remember their infant. Their par- ticipation was treasured as a way of honouring their infant’s existence. Affirmation of their strength and decisions made. Parents usually appreciated condolences that were offered, even from people they did not know well. They cherished the knowledge that other people were aware of the plight they had experienced. Having others affirm the difficulty of their situation also made it easier for parents to accept the decisions they had made for their infant. 5. Altruism This category included the themes of satisfaction and a sense of meaningful purpose when parents were able to reach out to other families in similar situations. Helping others through their experience. The experi- ence of coping with the illness, treatment, and death of a critically ill infant is one that parents found agonizing. Many parents wanted good to come out of their experience. Helping other parents allowed them to find some positive meaning in their grief and purpose in their infant’s life. Passing on personal items. Even though their infant lived for a short time, most parents had accumulated a number of personal items (such as clothing and toys). Fol- lowing the death, parents expressed a sense of gratification at passing these items on to other children who were in need of them. Discussion Numerous studies have described the overwhelming pain and distress that parents experience following the death of a child.14–17 The prospective descriptions of infant illness fac- tors and death experiences given by parents in this study provide insight into parental bereavement needs and grief experience. Parents developed expectations of their infant’s illness tra- jectory from discussions with care providers and parents of other children with similar complex conditions. As the in- fant’s illness trajectory changed over time, altered treatment plans were developed. Parents generally pursued all treat- ment options that were offered out of a desire to lessen regret and feel ‘‘we did everything possible.’’ Understanding the limits to modern medicine’s ability to cure their infant was critical to moving forward. These findings underscore the importance of evaluating treatment options in the context of the goals of care, rather than availability, before offering them to parents. Together providers and parents should frequently reassess the child’s illness trajectory with a goal toward real- istic expectations of the likely outcome of the illness. Parents in this study described the importance of continuity of care. Parents of dying children need the support and ex- pertise of a caregiver that has a relationship with their child. Children with complex chronic conditions often require a large number of consultants and specialists over the trajectory of their illness. Identification of a central provider that can assume responsibility for care coordination is one strategy that health care teams can use to achieve continuity of care. In addition, parents need someone to talk with who does not come to the conversation with a caregiver ‘‘role’’ agenda. Therefore, an impartial support person, like a social worker or chaplain that has the time to ‘‘just listen’’ can be a source of significant support for parents. Consistent with previous work on bereavement support, the importance of memory making was central in this study. Parental regret during the grieving process often focused on actions parents took during their limited time with their infant and not on medical decisions.18 Other retrospective studies have found that parents wished they had engaged in more parenting activities, such as bathing, dressing, and holding to provide more memories to reflect upon during bereave- ment.19 Our study prospectively documented the importance of memory making, in which tangible evidence of the infant’s life was integrated into future memories. This is particularly important for parents of infants given that they may have never brought their infant home to create family memories. These findings underscore the importance of early inter- vention in preparation for the possible death of an infant and establishment of resources to prospectively support parent bereavement, including memory making. Where possible, parents should be actively involved in daily infant care such as feeding and bathing. Encouraging parents to bring per- sonal items such as quilts or toys can give parents a sense of providing love and comfort for their child, an important memory during bereavement. Infant memory boxes or handprints from the providers also provide bereaved parents with physical remembrances of their infant. Prior studies have validated the importance of a wider net- work of individuals in a range of support roles.20 In our study, parents not only drew strength from close family, friends, and caregivers, but found avenues of support in social media such as online support groups, websites, and personal blogs. While strangers and peer supporters cannot deal with medical questions pertaining to illness and cause of death, they are an invaluable source of presence, affirmation, and support for grieving parents. Prior studies reported that feelings of ex- treme isolation in grieving parents is reduced during self-help group attendance; parents derive a sense of acceptance from interacting with others with similar experiences.21 Commu- nicating with other parents enables them to release pent up feelings and decrease the potential intensity of future emo- tional and social distress.21 Providers can assist parents in joining support groups or direct them to appropriate online PARENT BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT NEEDS 583
  • 6. support resources. Organizing annual memorial events that commemorate the deceased can reach out to bereaved fami- lies in a setting of support. Altruism was important for families: to give to others fol- lowing the death of their infant. Sharing their stories on social media sites provided comfort to parents as did their ability to share their child’s physical belongings with others. While sharing their story may not be useful to all parents, providers should encourage families to explore such options. Our findings describe experiences and events that occurred prior to and following the death of an infant that parents found helpful in reducing their distress during the grieving period. Parents described these experiences as having less- ened their anguish during the bereavement period. Future research that measures the impact of such experiences on parental bereavement outcomes (such as the length of acute bereavement, impact on daily functioning, complicated grief) is needed. While this study provides guidance for interventions to support parent bereavement, the data was collected for a study on medical decision making and did not specifically focus on bereavement needs. More direct questioning on pa- rental bereavement experience is required to further clarify optimal bereavement support needs of parents. It is hoped that some of the findings and suggestions offered in this study will present health care providers with a wider range of op- tions for improving the delivery of parental care during the acute bereavement period. Acknowledgments The project was supported by National Institutes of Health- National Institute of Nursing Research R01NR010548. Author Disclosure Statement There are no real, perceived, or potential conflicts of interest amongst any of the authors. References 1. Davies AM: Death of adolescents: parental grief and coping strategies. Brit J Nurs 2001;10:1332–1343. 2. Kachoyeanos MK, Selder FE: Life transitions of parents at the unexpected death of a school-age and older child. J Pe- diatr Nurs 1993;8:41–49. 3. Dyregrov A: Parental reactions to the loss of an infant child: A review. Scand J Psychol 1990;31:266–280. 4. Zambelli G., DeRosa A: Bereavement support groups for school-age children: Theory, intervention, and case example. Am J Orthopsychiatry 1992;62(4):484–493. 5. Parkes C: Bereavement. Brit J Psychiatry 1985;146:11–17. 6. Lindeman E: Symptomatology and management of acute grief. Am J Psyc. 1944;101:141–148. 7. Bowlby J: Attachment and loss: Retrospect and prospect. Am J Orthopsych 1982;52:664–678. 8. Kubler-Ross E and Kessler D: On Grief and Grieving. New York: Scribner Inc., 2005. 9. Worden JW: Grief counselling and grief therapy. New York: Springer Publishing Company, 2009. 10. Raphael B: The Anatomy of Bereavement. A Handbook for the Caring Professions. New York: Basic Books, 1984. 11. Rando TA: The Treatment of Complicated Mourning. Cham- paign, IL: Research Press, 1993. 12. Stroebe M, Schut H: The dual process model of coping with bereavement: Rationale and description. Death Stud 1999;23(3): 197–224. 13. Barry LC, Kasl SV, Prigerson HG: Psychiatric disorders among bereaved persons: the role of perceived circum- stances of death and preparedness for death. Am J Geriatr Psychiatry 2002;10:447–457. 14. De Montigny F, Beaudet L, Dumas L: A baby has died: The impact of perinatal loss on family social networks. J Obstet Gynecol Neonatal Nurs 1999;28:151–156. 15. Malacrida C: Complicating mourning: The social economy of perinatal death. Qual Health Res 1999;9:504–519. 16. Romesberg T: Understanding grief: A component of neo- natal palliative care. J Hospice Pal Nurs 2004;6:161–170. 17. Wallerstedt C, Higgins PG: Facilitating perinatal grieving between the mother and father. J Obstet Gynecol Neonatal Nurs 1996;25:389–394. 18. Armentrout, D: Holding a place: Parents’ lives following removal of infant life support. Neonatal and Infant Nursing Reviews 2007;7(1):e4-e11. 19. McHaffie HE, Lyon AJ, Fowlie PW: Lingering death after treatment withdrawal in the neonatal intensive care unit. Arch Dis Child Fetal Neonatal Ed 2001;85:F8-F1. 20. Kendall A, Guo W: Evidence-based neonatal bereavement care. Newborn Infant Nursing Review 2008;8:3. 21. Dorsel S, Dorsel T: Helping parents whose child has died: A review of coping strategies and alternatives for support. Am J Hosp Care 1986;3(1):17–20. 22. Hsieh HF, Shannon SE: Three approaches to qualitative content analysis. Qual Health Res 2005;15:1277. Address correspondence to: Sharron L. Docherty, Ph.D., CPNP Duke University School of Nursing DUMC 3322 Durham, NC 27710 E-mail: sharron.docherty@duke.edu 584 TAN ET AL.