The best commit messages from the 2017 edition of CMSC 23300 - Networks and Distributed Systems

1. The Best Commit Messages of 2017
University of Chicago – CMSC 23300 Networks and Distributed Systems

2. Before we begin, let's take
a look back at the...

3. Top Ten Commit Messages
of All Time

4. 10. IT WAS THE LOOOOOOOOOCKS
9. i love the smell of segfaults in the
morning
8. Made host a global (eat your heart
out borja)
7. AND NOW THE UNS■■TTENING BEGINS
6. well, nothing works, all tests fail, and
i have no idea how to implement this RFC,
but it's not immidiately segfaulting, so,
i've got that going for me

5. 5. The night is dark and full of errors
4. how the f■■k did I pass two more tests?
I only fixed one of them. this is gonna
bite me in the ass later isn't it? f■■k me
3. oh my god, it's spelled LUSERS, not
LUSER
2. last push of the night
jk can't stop

6. 1. worked an additional day, finished
everything but send function is clearly
broken so test all fail. this is hell on
earth. I would pray to God, but I don't
know how to correctly send messages.

7. And give an honorable
mention to...

8. The Best Branch Names of 2017
broken_modes
dirty_branch
doesnt_work
final-fixes-really
help
k
new
new-new
not_Packet_Arrival_stuff
one-i-break
oops
segfault
ugh-here-we-go-again

9. The Best Commit Messages of 2017

10. $ grep “^[^a-z]+$” commits.txt
DONE
DONEZO
DONEZOZO
I FIXED IT
FIXED THE STUPID POINTER ISSUE I HATE U
SIMCLIST
UAIHSKJDFHAKSJDHAKJSDHKJASDHKJASDHJKASDH
HIGH CONCEPT MISCELLANEOUS INTERACTIONS
WHY IS MALLOC NOT WORKING
HOW IS A FALSE CONDITION TRUE WTF

11. $ grep ! commits.txt
Improvements!
Whoops!
added function comments! nice
PRIVMSG is written and works! Oh happy
day!
meat grinder!
yaymake all!
FASHION! (allman style fix)
frees and strncpys and null terminators,
oh my!

12. $ grep "^...$" commits.txt | sort -u
;_;
50.
78.
abc
brb
fix
fml
gah
hey
hmm
how
huh
idk
IDK
lol
lox
meh
msg
Who
WHO
why
WIP
yah
yay
YAY
YEY
nvm
omg
pls
stu
two
ugh
UGH
wat
who
$ grep "^....$" commits.txt | sort -u
ahhh
asdf
asfd
away
Away
AWAY
ayyy
back
blah
buff
day1
docs
done
DONE
eeee
enum
eugh
fake
find
F■■k
■■■■
halp
hehe
help
init
join
oops
part
ping
PING
pong
push
quit
QUIT
qwer
sdlf
send
Send
soei
JOIN
lego
List
LIST
lock
logs
loop
main
More
motd
MOTD
myeh
Now?
temp
term
test
Test
try1
ugh2
user
what
work
?y??
Yay?
yeah
YEAS

13. $ grep -i bug commits.txt | wc --lines
662

14. $ grep -i bug commits.txt
buggy
Bugs maybe fixed?
Maybe this is an Apple bug
fixed p2a bug. some serious amateur hour going on
caused a weird bug
fixed the weird bug
and back to debugging we go
continuing to weather an unending stream of
debugging
all previous tests work, now time to debug this
out of order shiz nit
I've tried debugging stuff idk if I did anything
useful

15. $ grep -i bug commits.txt
Found the bug that made
simultaneous_close fail. It now passes.
I would weep tears of joy if I were not
sitting in CSIL, so I'll have to make do
with committing my success.
Our (hopefully) last bug has been
tracked down from p2a. Life is sweet and
beautiful once more. Huzzah.
Another bug fixed with regards to
teardowns. Good news: less broken. Bad
news: still broken. Worse news: not sure
if it's really less broken, or if we're
deluding ourselves.

16. $ grep -i segfault commits.txt
Fixed Segfault
Revert "Fixed Segfault"
Tried to fix the segfault and
failed... :(
can't push because it segfaults when you
quit on telnet but in a good place atm
oops, compiles now. rando segfaults
though
free is so weird wtf also chilog fixed
all my segfaults LOL

17. $ grep -i test commits.txt
pass a test . a WHOLE TEST
passing a test somehow...
We got 3 tests passed for literally doing
nothing
ALL TESTS PASS OMG
FINALLY PASSING ALL THE TEST BC I GOT RID OF
A FREE STATEMENT THAT MAKES NO SEEENSE
more bugfixing, passes 37 tests on a good day
this is janky af, but all the tests work.
We'll have to find abetter way.

18. $ grep -i what commits.txt
don't really know what to do here
don't know what these are
What are these files what did I do.
i dont remember what i changed
I don't even know what is going on
anymore
idk what i even did
what is going on
what is wrong with
chilog???????????????????????????
what are threads

19. $ grep -i god commits.txt
theres one more test goddamit
god dammit this is obnoxious
OH GOD YES
GOD BLESS OMG WE R DUN
I FIXED THE PRIVATE MESSAGE THANK U
AGAIN GDB. GNU DEBUGGER? MORE LIKE
GODDAMN-GREAT DEBUGGER

20. $ grep -i borja commits.txt
Borja makes fixes. Thanks Borja
literally only inserted 2 spaces #style
#borja
Upstream changes with love from Borja et
al.
fix parser by following Uncle Borja's
advice
Thanks for taking my life from me Borja

21. $ grep -i csil commits.txt
still updating comments csil is closing
basic out of order buffering working
(kicked out of csil)
lol getting kicked out of csil
YAY CSIL OPEN

22. $ grep -i hate commits.txt
i hate git
i hate parenthesis
i hate locks. i hate simclist
hate merging...
I hate writing comments so ooooooooooo
much
FIXED THE STUPID POINTER ISSUE I HATE U
SIMCLIST
UAIHSKJDFHAKSJDHAKJSDHKJASDHKJASDHJKASDH

23. $ grep -i git commits.txt
i dont like git
i hate git
i f■■king hate git
please be kind git
please work git :(
git doesn't make any sense and i wish
that everything in life was handed to me

24. $ grep -i f■■k commits.txt
f■■king typo
YA F■■KED UP
f■■k privmsg
fin f■■kery
construct f■■ky welcome message, WIP
F■■KING WHAT THE HELL IS THIS
holy f■■k simclist
f■■k if i know how to use uthash
unf■■kify(everything)
don't f■■k using print statements to debug,
dont use chilog to debug, use f■■king GDB and
dont waste two hours on something that takes 2
minutes with G F■■KING D B F■■K segfaults

25. Commit messages can be...
punny

26. Dr WHOIS
JOIN US
PARTing is such sweet sorrow
Chanel No 5
Whats in a NAME
WHOIS that

27. Commit messages can be...
musical

28. do you believe in life after love?
i can feel something inside me say: i
really don't think you're strong enough,
noooooooooo
get into the groove, boy you've got to
prove your love for me
music can be such a revelation, dancing
around you feel the sweet sensation
goodbye depeche_mode

29. Commit messages can be...
philosophical

30. like, im happy. but why?
is this real life
Sometimes we must pay for the hubris of our
previous selves. 'Where is this bug coming
from?' 'Why is my server struct not serving
things correctly?' 'It's weird, but not
breaking things in 1b. Better just move on to
more important things and leave it as a
problem for future ■■■■, if it even becomes a
problem.' But no. It was a problem. It was a
huge problem. It was a six hour debugging
session problem because I mismalloced my
server struct and ran out of memory
repeatedly. Sometimes we pay for the speed of
our code writing, and our blind faith in our
own abilities. Pride cometh before the fall...

31. Commit messages can be...
self-deprecating

32. Committing changes for the night. Some
bug tracking, a lot of it ineffective
(just like our project AYOOOOO)
I find it amazing that I am able to
transfer things between branches without
breaking every computer that has ever
existed
here's hoping my string skills are still
up to snuff
PSA: they aren't

33. Commit messages can be...
concerned with the style guide

34. snake_case_is_the_best
I love documentation
perfect score, poor style
Added more comments. I am waaaaaaaaaaaay to
paranoid about the style and correctness
sections. I need this to be over so I can rest
my mind
The sad thing is, I know that I will be back
tomorrow scouring over thousands of lines of
codes just to make sure all of it adheres to
the style guide for a few points.
them style points tho...
Anal retentively modified all lines over 80
chars except the one's originally put into the
code you hypocrites. Did you know the opposite
of Anal Retentive is Anal Expulsive?

35. Commit messages can...
reveal (often questionable)
software practices

36. Hacky methods abound
note to self: always compile before
committing
I dont think I changed anything but i
also edited the code at 230am and dont
really remember. best to be safe and
recklessly commit it.
should stop coding in civ class
Why am I working in the master branch
shouldn't be in the master branch
oh god what mistakes did I add to master

37. Commit messages can...
defy categorization

38. The scene in which our hero figures out
what on earth is going on
mo structs mo money
parsed any good messages recently ?
bagels and mutex lox
git in lusers we are going shopping

39. Commit messages can be...
born out of frustration

40. don't want to do this right now
I really just want to fix this
I just want this to work
I just want this to be over
i think it's as good as it's getting
idk anything anymore. I just want to go
home. Please make it stop. PLEASE.
tfw you are just bad
I am not done, but I am going to bed
soooooooooo
im not driving myself insane over 2.5
points

41. Spurious wakeups are keeping me up at night
omg literally what the hell it's one thing
it's another, it's not even being handled
by a thread for christsssake!
thread problem fixed, it was simclist all
along goddamit i spent 50 minutes on this
why
i f■■king hate the IETF and ISOC for being
sneaky af for creating rfc1122 (i will
remember this number forever in my anger)
and not appending to rfc793 WHY CANT THEY
JUST ADMIT THEY F■■KED UP ON THE SPOT
it is 7:03 on a monday night. i should not
want to drink right now

42. But, most of all,
commit messages can be...
happy

43. NOICE
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW
WWWW
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
it
woooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkss
ssssssss
THINGS R FIXED HOORAY
YAAAASSSSSSSSS GAWD
OMGOMGOMGOGMOGM 100/100
we done bitches. and it's f■■king amazing.

44. working timer thingie!
oh baby this stuff is workin its good
oh im good arent i
we're done, and it looks really good
oh my goodness it works
I would like to thank Borja and the entire CS
department for allowing me to finish in time
to watch The Bachelor
HOOOOOOLY F■■KING S■■T i just ran out of my
sorority's chapter in order to get this commit
in and IT REALLY REALLY WORKS I NEVER THOUGHT
THIS DAY WOULD COME but now i have 150
sorority girls walking past me frantically
struggling with git and screaming in joy on
the floor and i think they think i'm unstable

45. WELL BUTTER MY BUTT AND CALL
ME A BISCUIT, GUESS WHO GOT
THE TESTS PASSING?